Podcast Summary: The Squeeze Episode: Chelsea Smith: Building a Stronger Marriage
Release Date: February 25, 2026
Host: Taylor Lautner (with co-host/husband Taylor Lautner)
Guest: Chelsea Smith (Pastor, author of "I Do", Marriage Mondays founder)

Overview

This episode of "The Squeeze" focuses on the realities of building and maintaining a strong marriage—challenging the fairy tale belief in effortless love and advocating for vulnerability, daily effort, and intentional connection. Guest Chelsea Smith, a longtime pastor and marriage mentor, shares practical advice, common myths, and lessons from 26 years of marriage, including insights from her new book "I Do" and her popular “Marriage Mondays” series. The conversation offers hope and real strategies for couples (and singles) at any relationship stage.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Myth of Perfect Marriage

• Fairy Tale Expectations:
  • Many believe true love is effortless and that finding "the one" means things will just work. Chelsea pushes back:
    • "A good relationship is not for a select group of people who somehow magically found the one perfect person who was made for them." (00:16)
  • Perfection vs. Enjoyment:
    • "Perfection paralyzes enjoyment because you only have a few perfect moments in marriage and parenting...if we're so focused on perfection, we will miss the laughter that comes out of when things go totally wrong." (24:01)
• Myth Busted:
  • "If I marry the right person, my marriage will be easy and perfect... And when it's not easy and it's not perfect, we think the problem is the person — so often, it's just life. At the end of the day, marriage is always two imperfect people coming together." (50:18)

Stigma Around Couples Therapy & Growth

• Chelsea and the hosts discuss how seeking help carries a stigma, as if it means something is "wrong."
  • "We think if we have to work at it, something's wrong—that it should just come naturally...but if you don't put in the work, you're not going to get out of it what you actually want." (07:15)

Social Media & Comparison Culture

• Social Media Distorts Marriage Reality:
  • Host: "We're not talking about the hard things of marriage. It's just like, here's my cute husband and my kids...no one's really opening up." (18:26)
  • Chelsea: "I thought our vacation was great, and then I saw all these pictures and now...I'm taking that into our marriage...comparison and lack of contentment comes in. It doesn't just come into me, it comes into our marriage." (25:06)
• Boundaries with Technology:
  • "My relationship with my digital device is not mine, it is ours...being intentional about connection in a digital world is crucial." (26:55)
  • Host: "There's a lot of nights where we'll both be scrolling and like, an hour has gone by and we haven't spoke to each other...that's robbing us of that intentional time together." (28:07)

Team Mentality & Avoiding Competitiveness

• "Your win is my win, and my win is your win—and my loss is your loss. It's simple in concept, hard to walk out day by day." (36:22)
• Highlights the need for open communication about insecurities that competitive or shifting roles may reveal.

Communication & Conflict Management

• Voice Your Needs—Don’t Expect Mind Reading:
  • "Fantasy of the mind reader has to be one of the biggest joy killers in marriage. If he really loved me, he would know what I'm thinking...But he can't read your mind—it's just being human." (39:41, 40:27)
• Fighting Fair:
  • Chelsea outlines the value of rules and boundaries during disagreements:
    • "We have, like, literal rules...here's things we don't say here, here's things that we do say that are helpful—instead of just being hurt and saying hurtful things." (45:39)

Building Connection & Enjoyment

• Friendship as the Foundation:
  • Chelsea: "At the end of the day, my friendship with Judah is really the core of all of it and how much I still love to laugh with him." (42:19)
  • Host: "He's my friend, my favorite person to hang out with. I don't want my favorite person to be upset or to hurt them." (46:23)
• Intentional Habits Matter:
  • "The little things matter the most. Our words and our thoughts dictate the atmosphere of our home, of our relationship, of our connection." (46:43)

Retaining Individuality within Marriage

• "For years in our marriage, I tried too hard to be like Judah...what really helped me was recognizing, you know, if God wanted me to be like Judah, he would have made me like Judah. Instead, he made me like me." (41:01)

Hope and Growth—Even if Change Feels Slow

• Big Change from Small Habits:
  • "Those habits will change, but they're not going to change overnight. There is something about that little bit every day that really can bring new habits." (56:12)
• Message of Hope:
  • "I would love for it to be hope...the relationship you're looking for isn't as difficult as it is as we can be led to believe. It's just putting in a little bit of effort every day." (52:45)

If Only One Partner is Willing to Grow

• "The worst thing you can do is to nag...I think that's where you just work on yourself...when your partner sees you getting better and more confident...it will bleed over and become contagious. 90% of the people, when your partner sees you getting better...will want to do it too." (53:57)

Notable Quotes & Key Moments (with Timestamps)

• On the biggest joy killers in marriage:
  • Chelsea: "Fantasy of the mind reader has to be one of the biggest joy killers in marriage." (00:08, 39:41)
• On marriage being work, not magic:
  • Chelsea: "Marriage is the most fulfilling, most difficult, hardest thing I've done in my life." (07:15)
• On why the “little things” matter most:
  • Chelsea: "Our words and our thoughts more than anything, dictate the atmosphere of our home, our relationship." (46:43)
• On the myth of ease:
  • Chelsea: "If I marry the right person, my marriage will be easy and perfect...and when it's not easy and it's not perfect, we think the problem is the person." (50:18)
• Message for couples in tough times:
  • Chelsea: "Whether you’re a couple years in, 10, 15, 20, however many years in, you can kind of feel like I’ve lost hope with it. But there’s never—hope isn't lost." (55:35)
• On working on yourself:
  • Chelsea: "Even if all you can do is make yourself better, that's going to make your marriage better and you’re going to end up with a new perspective and a new love, and it will bleed over and it will become contagious." (54:36)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Marriage myths, perfection, & work: 00:08–01:10, 07:15–09:11
• Social media’s impact on marriage: 18:26–29:00
• Teamwork, competitiveness & communication: 36:14–40:27
• Friendship in marriage: 42:06–46:23
• Little things making the biggest difference: 46:43–48:47
• Individuality within “us”: 41:01–41:59
• Advice when only one partner wants growth: 53:57–55:31
• Hope and long-term change: 52:45–56:12

Memorable Moments

• Chelsea’s ‘Marriage Mondays’ origin story (16:47): Inspired by witnessing close friends’ divorce and the lack of everyday marriage support, leading to her widely followed marriage tips.
• Hosts share their own marital challenges (various): Taylor talks about her own and friends’ struggles, creating real relatability.
• Discussion of competing career successes and supporting each other (36:14): Navigating shifting roles and rooting for each other as “we,” not “me vs. you.”
• Voicing resentment over small things (the ‘sock on the floor’ story) (39:19): Tangible, funny example of why unspoken expectations can cause more harm than asking directly.
• Chelsea’s practical suggestion for internal processors: Take a bathroom break! (20:59)
• Highlight of friendship’s importance: "At the end of the day, my friendship with Judah is really the core of all of it." (42:30)

Takeaways for Listeners

• Marriage is inherently imperfect, but can be deeply fulfilling if both partners are willing to grow and communicate.
• Little daily habits, intentionality, and honest communication matter far more than grand gestures or achieving “perfection.”
• Social media and cultural myths can quietly erode contentment and intimacy—set boundaries and refocus on your unique relationship.
• Teamwork doesn’t mean losing individuality; a healthy marriage cherishes both “we” and “me.”
• Hope is never lost, no matter how long you've been together or how stuck you feel—change is possible, even one small step at a time.

Chelsea Smith’s Book:
"I Do" – Practical, bite-sized weekly prompts for couples, designed to foster connection, communication, and growth over a full year.

Final Notes:
This conversation is warm, honest, and relatable, blending Chelsea’s spiritual outlook with emotional and practical advice. Whether single, newly married, or decades in, listeners will find encouragement and tangible strategies for cultivating a marriage that’s enjoyable, authentic, and resilient.