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- [00:01]
Host
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance
- [00:06]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
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- [00:08]
Host
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- [00:11]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
home and auto policies.
- [00:13]
Host
Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.
- [00:17]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. The following podcast is a Dear Media Production My grief journey has been all over the place. I've experienced a lot of loss in my life, just specifically in my 20s, but losing my little brother who's 20, it was like January 2024. So it's still like not that long ago. I don't feel like I was ever in denial, but maybe I was. And I just don't really fully understand what denial is and grief because obviously you know that they're gone. Something that would really bother me whenever I was like initially going through grief and loss. Like people would go to my best friend and be like, oh my God, like two or three months into it and they'd be like, can you see what she's doing? So great. I'm so hot. And I'm like, really? First of all, I haven't left my bedroom in two months. Second, like it felt to me like they wanted me to be okay so that they didn't have to feel uncomfortable. I don't want people to understand. You know what I mean? It's better to not have had like experience changes. All the.
- [01:25]
Co-host
Lemon drops. Lemon drops.
- [01:27]
Host
Welcome back.
- [01:27]
Co-host
Back, back to the Squeeze. I cannot believe that we are in May. I don't know where the time went. I feel like I blinked and now we're in May. Granted, I also was like down for the count a couple months during my first trimester, so that might be why
- [01:45]
Host
it feels like it's gone by so fast.
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Co-host
But I don't know if you feel that same way about it going by so fast. But I cannot believe we're approaching summer and it's warmer outside and it's just so crazy how fast this year is flying by. I'm super excited about our guests this month. I feel like this month is stacked. You are not gonna wanna miss it. So make sure you're subscribed. You're following us along however you are listening or watching the Squeeze. But this week's guest is Kenzie Elizabeth. She is a lifestyle influencer, content creator and podcast host. Best known for her long form conversations around around personal growth, routines, wellness and navigating Life. In her 20s, she's built her audience on YouTube, sharing vlogs, advice, lifestyle content before expanding into podcasting with her show Houseguests, which has become a go to space for listeners looking for a mix of productivity, self development, and relatable life guidance. This was Kenzie and I's first time meeting, and we have so many mutual friends. I don't know how we haven't met before, but we truly just had a girl chat. Yap. I literally forgot we were recording half the time. And I kept forgetting that I had
- [02:57]
Host
notes that I was supposed to be
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Co-host
following because we were just yapping the whole time. And she is such a light and I feel like has so many good tips and tricks for mental health, but also hobbies. Like, she has so many hobbies, I feel like I now want to try all of them. We talked about the effects of social media, how it's been for her really navigating, sharing so so much of her life on the Internet for so long. And she also opened up with me about her grief process after losing her brother a couple years ago. This conversation is so sweet and touching, and I really just had the best time with Kenzie. I think you guys are gonna love this episode.
- [03:34]
Host
Mackenzie, welcome to the Squeeze.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Thanks for having me.
- [03:37]
Host
I'm so excited. Lemon Drops. We are not in the Squeeze studio because we're doing a fun little episode
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Co-host
today at Dear Media. Insert, insert twinkle sound.
- [03:49]
Host
Yeah, we took a little field trip today to come and do this. And I'm not mad about it because if you're watching on YouTube, this couch that I'm on right now is actually really comfy. And I don't know if I'm gonna be moving at all this episode, but welcome.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Thanks for having me.
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Host
I'm so excited to just, like, sit and chat and.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yep, I know. Same.
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Host
I love a good.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
It's gonna be a good morning.
- [04:09]
Host
Yeah, it is. It's gonna be a great morning. Um, okay, so we normally start each episode. I have a jar in my studio that I don't have here. Um, it's a game called Citrus not real. Normally I have a guest pull a piece of paper out, but I figured we. I could just ask you a question that I thought of is, what was the last show that you binged?
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Okay, so I'm actually the worst about watching tv. I really only watch shows that I've seen a billion times. Okay, but you're actually catching me. This is probably supposed to be like rapid fire, but I'm like tangent.
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Host
Anyway. No, it's okay.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
You're catching me in a really low moment because I'm really into law And Order right now, which I've watched billion times. And they just canceled Law and Order, Organized Crime. And I was like, oh, that's fine. I still have seasons to watch. No, I go home and we have one episode left because it's canceled. Elliot Stabler. Anyway, so currently it's been like Law and Order in the background. But I'm not, like, up to date on tv. I'm.
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Host
Okay.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I'm, like, really weird about the stuff that I choose to watch.
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Host
Okay, what, like, what other shows do you normally watch if you're, like, a repeat, so show watcher?
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I love Gilmore Girls. I love One Tree Hill. It's a lot of comfort show. I mean, I guess anything can be a comfort show to you because, like, Law and Order was a comfort show to me. And that's not very comforting. You know, I love Nashville. I love Friday Night Lights. I'm, like, from Texas. So, like, Friday night Lights. I'm like, yeah, literally at home.
- [05:21]
Host
Yeah, that's so funny.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
But I just kind of, like, rewatch the same things. I've. I'm the same way with movies.
- [05:26]
Host
Yeah, that would. That would be me. My husband does not, like, let me do that. He is not like a sit down and rewatch something you've already watched type personality, which is actually really good. I don't know why that is. But he never, like, got it. Like, I guess he never really, like, got into shows. Like, he never feel like growing up. His family just watched, like, game shows.
- [05:46]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
So that was also, like, in the stuff.
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Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I wonder if that. You know what I mean?
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Co-host
Yeah, I know.
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Host
I don't.
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Co-host
Yeah, he never.
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Host
He never really gave them a chance. I think he decided, like, with friends, he had never watched until we started dating, or at least, like, to the extent that I watch it. And he just, like, didn't think it was a good show for, like. He just was like, it's a sitcom. Like, it can it be a good show. And then he started watching some episodes and he was like, oh, this is funny. And then he was like, oh, this person guest stars. This person guest stars. I'm like, yes, it's a good show.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
And it's, like, so important. It's so culturally relevant forever. I love Friends too.
- [06:19]
Host
Yeah, no, that. And I've always wanted to try to get him to watch How I met your mother. That was, like, my cover show for, like. I've probably watched it like, three or four times.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I watched that in college and I was. The weird thing about it is that I watched it and I. I Couldn't really tell you what happened. So it's kind of nice because I could rewatch that and it would be a new show to me.
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Host
Yeah, no, I feel like I could also, because it's been so long, I also think I want to give the office another run because that one I actually think he would really like because we just watched. I don't know if you've heard of Jury Duty or Company Retreat on Amazon. I feel like he loves, like, watching Awkward on tv.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah. So it's.
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Host
And so I was like, we need to give the office a try. Like you would think. That's so funny. So that's like my. My next little, like, pull. Well, let's dive in. You obviously are. Are online. Your job is fully online. When did you start doing social media?
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I'm 28 now. I started YouTube when I was 16.
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Co-host
Oh, wow.
- [07:17]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
So I've been making, like, YouTube videos forever. And then I started the podcast, like, seven years ago now, six years ago. I can never remember because it was while I was in college at some point. But yeah, I'm like, primarily on, like, YouTube and podcasting, like, in long form stuff. So I've been doing it forever.
- [07:36]
Host
What made you want to start doing YouTube?
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I just grew. I grew up in a very, like, tumultuous household. Like, I love my family, I'm very close with them, but there was just a lot going on.
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Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
And YouTube was my escape. Like, that was like, what I went to watch. That was very comforting to me. And so I ended up. I was like, if I can do that for someone, like, I would love to do that. I was so young, like, very nice, like, very pure intentions, you know, I'm like. And I'm like, and now I have no pure intentions.
- [08:00]
Host
No.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
But, like, I was just young and it was really. It was just good for me. Like, it was a nice escape. And it was back when, like, influencer wasn't a term then. And if you had a YouTube channel, most people, like, most friends that I had that lived across the country because we would, like, come together for, like, vidcons and playlist lives and things like that. A lot of them were, like, bullied in school. I got very lucky. People were, like, very nice to me about it. I mean, I'm sure they, like, had some things to say and whatever, but for the most part, like, I was by no means, like, bullied by it. Like, people were very nice, but I was young when I started.
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Host
Wow. Did you ever think that, like, did you go into it wanting to do it because. Yeah, Influencer, like, wasn't, like, it wasn't really like, a career thing back then.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I think I went into it knowing because I'm very like, do you know the enneagram, like, personality tests? Okay. So I'm very. I'm a leo. I'm an enneagram3. Like, any single personality type where you can be, like, I'm actually weirdly very introverted, but I'm very outgoing. Yeah, but like, any personality type where you can be outgoing leader, overachiever. Yeah, any of those things, like, that is always me. So going into it, like, mind you, I'd like, never even seen the Hills or whatever show, but I was like, I'm gonna be Lauren Conrad. But like, I had never even seen the show. I just knew that she had books and, like, did something with Teen Vogue at some point. And I was like, that's it. You know, I'm gonna be in Teen Vogue. Yeah. So I was like, that's gonna happen. Yeah. But it, like, yes and no. Because I obviously, like, couldn't have actually imagined. Like, I went into it very determined that I was going to turn it into something. But it was before. I hadn't, like, seen a lot of proof of concept, if that makes sense.
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Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
So, like, in my head, I was like, yes, but there was really no way to know that. You know, I was just kind of delusional. I was young and naive. Yeah.
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Host
Were you just, like, posting vlogs or was it.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah, my first. We actually looked at my first video the other day, and I'm like, I actually want to die right now. It was haul. So a lot of it was like, it's pretty much really similar content to what I'm doing now. I just obviously am 28, so. And I like, like, grandma hobbies and stuff. So, like, my actual content's different, but it's always just been, like, sharing whatever phase of my life that I'm in in halls and style and things like that. It's. It's like kind of the same format, though.
- [10:07]
Host
Yeah. That's good. Do you ever feel like as. Because you were doing it growing up, do you feel like it helped you gain a sense of self or kind of did the opposite because you were so much online?
- [10:22]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I think it. I think it's actually helped me more than it's hurt me.
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Co-host
Okay.
- [10:26]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
But I understand how it would hurt worse. Like, I can see how that would happen. I think I just got lucky and I went on. I was pretty, like, stubborn and very headstrong, so I Was like, this is what I'm gonna do. I think at times it's. I say that it's helped because there's this thing that I love from this book called the Defining Decade, called Identity Capital. And the idea behind it is that you don't find yourself. You create yourself through. I'm butchering this. But, like, through the things that you love, like the relationship.
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Co-host
I don't know it.
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Host
So you could be saying perfect for me.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
And I'm like. And I remember it perfectly.
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Host
Let me quote it.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I actually didn't read the book. I invented it myself. No, but it's the idea that, like, you are a combination of the hobbies and the interests and all the things that you like. And I think that being online actually gave me one a lot more access to a lot of people, especially the podcasts and things. And, like, just.
- [11:12]
Host
Yeah.
- [11:13]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Travel and learning and meeting people of all different walks. So I think it's helped me because I found a lot of the things that I love through it. But I do think it's, of course, like, hard me at times. Like, it's not normal to be young and, like, reading things about yourself and whatever. Like, that part of the Internet is very unnatural. But I've also, like, been doing it for. So, like, it doesn't really, like.
- [11:33]
Host
Yeah, you know what I mean? You're kind of, like, not used to it at this point, but it's kind of just like. Yeah, it's grown with it.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah.
- [11:39]
Host
Yeah.
- [11:40]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And I never, like, viral overnight. Like, I've always been, like, a slow and steady growth, which I think has been really helpful for me. I think I would have really struggled with that had I gone from zero to a million followers. Like, that, I think, is when I would have done it, but because I was growing, like, slowly and steadily, it allowed me to, like, kind of catch up with it.
- [11:57]
Host
Yeah, no, for sure.
- [11:58]
Co-host
I feel like sparkling water is one of those things where you think they're all kind of the same until you try one that actually tastes different. And that's exactly how I feel about Spindrift, because I've definitely had those where it's like, okay, this is technically flavored, but it just tastes like bubbles and a whisper of fruit from far, far away. But Spindrift is the only sparkling water in America made with real squeezed fruit, and you can taste that immediately. Lately, I've been into the raspberry lime, and you can actually taste the raspberry. Not just a hint, but real flavor, which makes it way more refreshing and I like how simple it is. There are just a few ingredients you actually recognize. It's unsweetened and it just feels light and clean without being boring. It's also made differently. Every spindrift is made from farm to can with real ingredients that are handled very carefully. So every sip actually has that flavor and texture you're looking for. And I feel like once you notice that difference, it's hard to go back to other sparkling waters. Real fruit really does taste better. That's the spindrift difference. Our listeners get 15% off their next order of Spindrift. Visit drinkspindrift.com and use code TAY at checkout for 15% off your site wide purchase. One use per customer. Valid through 1231 26. Not valid on subscription orders. That's D R I n k s-p I n d r I f t dot com and use code TAY for 15% off your next order. Grilling season is one of those times where the food really matters. Like you can have everything set up perfectly, but if the meat isn't great, you can tell. And that's why I've been loving Butcherbox. ButcherBox delivers over 100 premium protein options straight to your door. From grass fed beef to wild caught seafood, it's all raised and sourced in the right way. No antibiotics, no added hormones, no fillers, just clean, reliable protein. You can feel good serving. Grilling season is one of my favorite times because Taylor is constantly on the grill cooking up things. Some of my favorites are chicken or burgers and it's so great just having those ready on hand. And I also love how flexible it is. You can customize your box based on what you actually want and it all ships straight to you, which just takes one more thing off your plate. As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between free sirloin tips, ground beef or chicken wings in every box for life plus $20 off. When you go to butcherbox.com squeeze. That's right. Your choice of free sirloin tips, ground beef or chicken wings in every box for life plus $20 off your first box and free shipping always. That's butcherbox.com thesqueeze don't forget to use our link so that they know we sent you. I feel like if you have a dog, you kind of just become that
- [14:57]
Host
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- [15:00]
Co-host
I'm not even kidding. I talk to Remy and Lily like they are actual people and I plan my day around them and I've definitely done things for them that I probably
- [15:09]
Host
wouldn't admit to most people, but that's
- [15:11]
Co-host
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- [16:39]
Host
I always ask people who do especially like long form YouTube, how do you decide like when you're going to film and when you're not and just like put the like your phone away and reset.
- [16:51]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
So I feel like when I was younger it was a lot harder, especially when I was in college because I was like doing the podcast and I had like, I was out in la. I was doing like so many different things at that point and I really had less of a separation because I also had school on top of it. And so I was really filming like every aspect of my life.
- [17:10]
Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
But as time is going on, like I like a home vlog. Like the second someone leaves their home, I'm like, I'm not interested. Like I want to watch you at home doing the same thing every single week. Like it's, it also it's kind of on the same topic of like rewatching shows. I don't know if this is even true. This is like an Instagram carousel graphic, you know? But they say that people who like to rewatch the same shows, like, have anxiety.
- [17:31]
Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Which kind of makes sense because it's like, you know what to expect and it's coming and there's something comforting about it. Whatever. Yeah, I feel that way kind of with, like, YouTube vlogs. So now, like, I just film most of my stuff at home. And also without really meaning to, I really do film from between, like, 9 to 6, because it's after I get home from my workout to that. And it's. That's not really super intentional.
- [17:52]
Host
Yeah.
- [17:53]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
But I just kind of plan it. I also, like, I have a home and hobby brand now and, like, that's what I spend most of my days doing. So I'm always trying to, like, I'm always doing some home project. I'm always doing something. So I try to film more around that stuff because I also know, like, what my audience likes for me.
- [18:05]
Host
Yeah.
- [18:06]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And I have a lot of hobbies, so it's easier to, like, create content around that. But I don't film just, like, it changes, like, basically in, like, different, like, seasons of my life of, like, what I'm filming and what I'm not.
- [18:14]
Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I'm not, like, throwing the camera, like, my friend's faces. You know what I mean?
- [18:17]
Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
I don't think.
- [18:17]
Host
Yeah, no. I feel like you have a good, like, healthy balance with it. Because I've definitely talked to people and have people, like content creators on the podcast, and they're, like, really struggled with finding that line between when I film, when I don't, how to be present, like, when to pull the phone out, and it could be, like, really hard for people.
- [18:39]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I feel like probably like Gen Z as a whole feels that way with or without having platforms just because, like, TikTok is such a thing now. I also think living in Texas is really helpful because.
- [18:47]
Host
Yeah.
- [18:48]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Actually a lot of my friends in Texas are also influencers, but we are just like, also real, normal life friends.
- [18:54]
Host
Yeah.
- [18:54]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
So, like, I just have gotten better about it. But I. I can imagine, like, I can imagine it being difficult for anyone at this point.
- [19:02]
Host
Yeah, no, for sure. I feel like so many people look at you and, like, to your content as, like, big sister vibes and a big sister, like, figure. Does that, like, what does that role mean to you? Like, how do you intentionally go into your content with that in mind?
- [19:18]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
That's so nice. I. Thank you. I think that, like, from the start of, like, when I started my YouTube channel, I wanted it to be an escape, because that is what I went to YouTube for. So I definitely try. Like, I. I love, like, the comfort creator thing. Like, I want to be that for other people, so. And also, I. I'm a pretty open person. Like, I will, basically. I'm pretty open book for the most part. And if I have learned something or if I've gone through something, like, I think that's something that's been helpful about being on the Internet for so long. I just know that even, like, within grief, it's like, I've seen messages for so long. Like, you feel less alone because you know the other people are going through it. So, like, the more I open up, the more messages I get from people. It doesn't matter what it is. It could be anything. And I know that there's so many other people out there that feel that way, which is really, like, selfishly helpful for myself. But also it's nice because I'm like, I know this is important. So it's like, made me be more open over the years because I'm like, I know that we're all going through, like, very similar things.
- [20:19]
Host
What?
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
Like, it doesn't really even matter. Like, there's so many, like, different aspects that make our lives so different, but at the end of the day, like, a lot of us are going through the same things. Like, we're a lot more similar. Our lives are a lot more similar than you would ever imagine.
- [20:29]
Host
Yeah.
- [20:30]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
So I think that it's just made me, like, open up a little bit more.
- [20:34]
Host
Yeah, I love that. How do you decide, like, what you're going to share and what you want to keep private?
- [20:42]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I think if I can share in a way that's helpful, like, sometimes things are too fresh or that I haven't really worked through it. Sometimes it, like, grief is something you don't just cure. So, like, that's something that I know will never, like, you know, just, like, work through that. I mean, you'd work through it, but you don't. Yeah, you don't. There's not somewhere that you arrive at. So that is a little different because I'm just sharing. Also, I feel so lucky because I've been able, specifically with the podcast, Like, I've been able to be in rooms with all these people even before that. Like, that's why I wanted to start the podcast, is that I felt so lucky to be in Bruins, people that I was and I was learning from. So I was thinking, like, it would be so helpful if, like, my YouTube viewers at the Time could hear these conversations because I'm learning and getting so much from it.
- [21:21]
Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
So if it's something that I find would be helpful, I don't want to just be, like, bleeding out for no reason. Like, I don't want it to just be like some, like, sobs. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's a bad thing. Like, vulnerability is, like, really powerful and whatever. We all just, like, get, like, vulnerability hangovers and stuff. Things, you know?
- [21:36]
Host
Yeah. I definitely think it's important to kind of, like, think through.
- [21:41]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah.
- [21:41]
Host
What you're sharing, especially if it is something that you maybe haven't worked through all the way or you don't know the outcome. Not that you need to know the outcome of everything necessarily, but just that you're, like, prepared to thoughtfully and helpfully talk about it.
- [21:58]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Totally. And if it involves someone else, it's. When I don't share things. Like, it's really. If it's just affects me.
- [22:03]
Host
Yeah.
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Mackenzie Elizabeth
But if it is something that will make what I'm going through worse. Like, you, the response and stuff. So it just depends.
- [22:12]
Host
Yeah. You touched on the topic of grief. Can we talk about that a little?
- [22:19]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah. I'm very open about this.
- [22:20]
Host
Okay.
- [22:21]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
You can't, like. I know people get, like. It's just like, a hard conversation to like. I don't get, like, offended. There's no. I'm not like the group police. Like, you don't. There's nothing that anyone can say that's, like, wrong. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.
- [22:31]
Host
No, I love that because grief is definitely something that's universal with. Even if it's the loss of a loved one all the way to, you know, a loss of a job or loss of your house. Like, there's just so many different forms of grief. You've walked through grief with losing your brother. Can you share a little bit about. With me about how your grief journey has been?
- [22:56]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
My grief journey has been all over the place. I've experienced a lot of loss in my life, just specifically in my 20s, but losing my little brother, who's 20, it was like January 2024. So it's still, like, not that long ago.
- [23:08]
Host
Yeah.
- [23:09]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
The first couple of years, especially.
- [23:10]
Host
You're just.
- [23:11]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
It's so. It's so crazy. It's also like, there's some days where you almost feel like you're, like, disassociated. Like, I can talk about it because it feels like it's like I'm not. I talk about it almost in a way of just disassociation. Like I'm not that person that, like, went through that. Like, it doesn't always feel real. There are still times where I'm like, oh, I have to tell my brother. And, like, you just forget because it's. It's weird because it's like, it's on your mind 24 7. Like, still. But, like, it's. When you've lived 26 years, or how you. When I lived. Wait, let me think about this. 20 years with him. He was five years younger than me. Like, that is a very hard, like, adjustment to make in your head. So while you're very aware, you're also kind of. I don't feel like I was ever in denial, but maybe I was. And I just don't really fully understand what denial is in grief, like, because obviously you. You know that they're gone. But, yeah, it's just been weird and, like, up and down. I definitely feel better than I have, but with the understanding of, like, something that would really bother me. Whenever I was, like, initially going through grief and loss, like, people would go to my best friend and be like, oh, my God, like, two or three months into it, and they'd be like, can they see what she's doing? So great. I'm so hot. And I'm like, first of all, I left my bedroom in two months. Second, yeah, it was annoying because I obviously was not doing well. And it. It felt to me whether or not they meant it this way. They probably didn't. I mean, people have good intentions, but it felt to me like they wanted me to be okay so that they didn't have to feel uncomfortable.
- [24:40]
Host
Yeah.
- [24:41]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And I can understand that, because if you don't understand grief, like, I don't want people to understand. You know what I mean? It's better to not have had, like, experience it. Obviously, we've all dealt with grief in, like, certain regards, but, like, to the loss of a person, you know. Yeah. I think it's just been kind of all over the place. Like, it comes. Of course, it, like, comes in waves. You never know. Like, I've heard a lot of people say, like, year two for me has actually been a lot harder in different ways. But I've heard a lot of people, specifically with sibling loss. I don't even know if this is true. Just people that I know.
- [25:15]
Host
Yeah.
- [25:15]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Said, like, year three was their worst year. Just for what, Like, I don't know what it is. Like, I'm not there yet. So, like, we'll see. But, yeah, it just, like, it changes all the time.
- [25:26]
Host
Yeah. I Love that you brought that up about, like, people, like, either not knowing what to say or what to do. I feel like that is, like, such a common thing. And when I've had people on the podcast and talk about, you know, loss of a sibling or a parent or a child, it is very much people don't know, like, what to say or how to help. And my. One of my best friends, she lost her dad when she was 16. And I've had, like, a lot of close friends and family recently lose people in their lives. And her and I were talking just kind of about that, and she told me she was like, I wanted people to, like, everyone was talking to me like, I had bubble wrap on. And I just wanted people to, like, talk normal to me and not every time I see someone like them ask how I'm doing in, like, in the sense of, like, not like, hey, how are you? But, like, more like wanting to, like, try to have deep conversation. She's like, I just want people to just go. Not go back to normal in a sense, because obviously her life's not normal. But not to have to, like, talk about it every time and treat her like you can't talk about whatever you have going on in your life because it was, you know, if, let's say, like, you know, I didn't get a job. Like, you know, I didn't get this campaign I wanted, but she would still want me to, like, talk about it with her.
- [26:52]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah. So I think. Cause your life has been turned upside down when you lose a loved one and then your relationships kind of get weird because people don't know how to act around you. And then you feel even weirder because you've also lost that sense of normalcy. I get questions a lot of people either, like, DMing me or people in real life being like, how can I show up for my friend? They just lost their sibling or their husband or their parent or whatever it is, and everyone is so different. I'm not someone. There's a lot of phrases and things that can be triggering to other people and things like people hate. Like, everything happens for a reason. Or parents. A lot of mothers hate like, they're in a better place because they're like, no, the best places with me. Even if you don't mean that they have good intentions. My mom and I both were like, I'm not the grief police. I don't want to be mad at people for saying the quote, wrong thing because, like, whatever, like, we've all done our own thing. But that's Valid if that's like, how you experience it. That just wasn't sure me the only. A lot of your relationships change after it. And I really just appreciated people calling me and treating me like normal. And if there was like, some dumb gossip, like something so stupid happening or something in the me, like, I liked hearing about normal things that were dumb problems because it took me out of myself. Like, if I'm calling a friend who's going through loss, I'm not texting them all the time. Being, like, how. Like, I. I'm texting them, checking in, but not in obvious ways. Like in the how are you? That just gives a person going through loss, like homework. And obviously they're not doing well. So it's like those texts were exhausting. Like, I couldn't even reply to them because I didn't have the energy. But if they text me about something dumb, it would kind of, like, take me away from it. So I will text them and be like, hey, I have crazy gossip. Do you want a distraction? And then literally nine times out of 10, it's a callback within, like 30 seconds. Because they want, like, they want some sort of normalcy for sure, you know?
- [28:42]
Host
Yeah. No, I feel like I relate to that right now in a different level. Not with grief, but obviously with pregnancy. Everyone constantly is just always like, how are you doing?
- [28:53]
Co-host
How are you feeling?
- [28:53]
Host
Which I love. And, like, I have so many wonderful people in my life and, like, I love being able to tell them, but also, like, in the same breath, I still have. Like, I feel like I'm constantly so behind on my calls and my texts because so many people are reaching out, which is so kind. And I want, like, I don't want my friends or family hearing this to like, feel like I'm not appreciative of it. But it's like, it's just a lot.
- [29:19]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Like, I don't.
- [29:20]
Host
I wasn't expecting. I wasn't expecting it. And I'm the type of person that wants everyone to feel, like, seen. And I want to make sure I respond, but it literally will. It literally takes me, like, five days to respond. Especially because, like, my phone is my work.
- [29:34]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah.
- [29:34]
Host
So, like, I have all of my teams, like, texting me throughout the day. And then if you're not like, one of the five texts, when I'm, like, done with my day at 7:00pm Like, I, like, it's over my head until,
- [29:45]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
like, a couple weeks and you're literally growing a human. Like, you're. It's exhausting. Like, you've Got things going on. I get it. I think I'm even. That. I don't know, something. I think maybe because I work on my phone, but, like, we don't. We all, like, you know, but, like, something about, like, a text. I will. If I'm like, this is how, like, the first step that I know that I'm not doing for me personally as well, like, mentally, is when, like, people start to text me. And it, like, makes me angry because I'm like, I'm so overwhelmed right now. Like, that is my first sign of, like, okay, I need to go do something. Because, like, clearly I'm unwell right now.
- [30:13]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [30:14]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
But, like, I will get, like, very. I'm like, I just. It. Because it feels to me, it's like, oh, they need something. They need something. They need something. And I'm like, I can't do that right now. I feel like I'm, like, losing it. But that's like my first sign for myself. Like, I'll. I'm like, why am I like. Yeah, you know?
- [30:27]
Host
Yeah, no, that's. That's something I'm, like, trying to figure out. Especially because I'm. I'm someone.
- [30:33]
Co-host
I'm not a three on the Enneagram,
- [30:34]
Host
but I'm definitely a two. I'm a two wing three. And I definitely am, like, a high achieving helper person.
- [30:40]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I'm three wing two.
- [30:41]
Host
But. Okay, I'm gonna let Kenzie explain a little what the Enneagram is, because I'm not from the south and I'm not a master.
- [30:47]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
No. And the Enneagram is, like, so church culture core. Like, it really is. Yeah. But so a three is the overachiever, and then a two is a supporter. I think there's nine because it's the, like, administrative person. The peacemaker is nine. Seven, like, four and seven are more creatives. There's just different personality types. And when you're three wing two or two wing three, that just means, like, our first placement would be three. And so, like, yeah, I can raise a supporter who likes to help people. Like, people overachieve. And I'm an overachiever who needs to, like, support everyone and make them also overachieve. That makes sense.
- [31:25]
Host
Yeah. You should take the test. It's honestly really helpful. It is for, like, romantic relationships, but also, like, working relationships too, when you know how people approach things. Like, I find for some reason, I have a lot of eights in my life, and those are, like, the challengers. And they're like, just the very, like, assertive, confident, protective, people, but that is like, not my personality at all. And that's like, who I gravitate to. So, like, they, like, do things differently.
- [31:54]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah.
- [31:55]
Host
I don't know why that is who I gravitate towards.
- [31:57]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I've moved on to my next personality test, Obsession. But it's not even a personality test. You know Susie Welch, she's like, done a lot of podcasts. She'd be a great guest for you. Actually. She's amazing. I'm like a Susie. Well, evangelist. Like, that is like my religion at this point. Like, I tell everyone about her and it comes up every single time. I do, like any sort of podcast, but she does this values quiz. I'll send it to you. It's so good. But it's the most helpful that I've ever found within, like, understanding people and relationships. Like, it is so helpful. It's the best thing ever. And she's a genius and, like, so smart and so cool. She's a fabulous house too.
- [32:30]
Host
Oh, love her. Love that.
- [32:32]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah. I'm like anyone with a fabulous house. Like, I'm obsessed. No, but she's a genius and I just love her.
- [32:37]
Host
I definitely, I've definitely heard of her.
- [32:38]
Co-host
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- [37:05]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah.
- [37:06]
Host
Wait, how. What were we talking about with any groups? Oh, I think I was just saying, like, at that.
- [37:09]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Oh, pregnancy and text.
- [37:11]
Host
Yes, yes. I think I was just saying that. That I. I just, like, feel pressure with that, which I know I'm just putting that pressure on myself. But the same thing with you with, like, when you get overstimulated, when you get the text message messages, that's me and my husband and I both just had our birthdays, like, a couple months ago. And it's so funny because we're both, like, just like, gripping because we have so many people that love us and we feel so loved, but we get so many texts, which is, like, great. And so, like, we, like, are so excited for our birthdays, but also, like, slightly dread it because it was just like, we want to make sure we, like, respond to everyone. I don't know what that pressure is, but I also think, like, I think just because of the access. I've actually talked about this a couple times because of what our phones have give, like, how much access our phones have given, like, people to us. I feel like especially then, you know, you're getting the text alerts and then you're also getting the Instagram alerts and the tick tock alerts and like, the emails. Like, they're just. Everything is constantly popping up on the phone. So I feel like it's like there's just. It's too much. Like, we're not.
- [38:14]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
It is too much.
- [38:14]
Host
We're not meant to take that all in.
- [38:16]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I think about access a lot. I'm like, this is kind of crazy that anyone. And with the text that they. Even though they don't, like, we're definitely putting this pressure on ourselves. They don't. But, like, it does feel like when someone Texts you, they need a response immediately. But I do think you're really right about it's just overstimulating. Like, I didn't even know what being overstimulated was until I met my best friend. She's, like, queen of being overstimulated. And then I'm like, I literally, like, rubbed off from her. And now I'm like, I'm overstimulated at all times. I realized I could have a life without being overstimulated, I think. And now I'm like, wait. But I don't know. There's just something I also think, like, I think we both value being a good friend. So you want to show up for everyone, and you want to do that to the best of your ability. And, yes, a text does not seem that deep, but it can feel that way, especially when you have a lot going on. It. To me, it's not really the text it's more of. I mean, it is the text, but the deeper root of that is wanting to show up for everyone and be there for everyone and, like, not having the capacity.
- [39:10]
Host
Yeah. And, like, I feel horrible when, like, someone. Like, I never want people to feel that. I'm, like, intentionally not texting them back. Like, I just don't want people to feel, like, oh, like, she didn't care enough to do that. But really, I just, like, missed it.
- [39:24]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah.
- [39:24]
Host
And, yeah, it stresses. It stresses me out. What? What's the answer? I don't know.
- [39:29]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I've actually been thinking about this because I'm.
- [39:31]
Host
Do we go back to the flip phone? Like, what?
- [39:33]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Like, no. And I'll get to the point where I'm so busy that someone will text me about a game night. And I, like, I'm stressed because I know I can't do it.
- [39:39]
Host
Yeah.
- [39:40]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And I'm like, I. I wish that I could put, like, a sign, like a do not disturb sign on my phone that's like, I'm busy for the next six weeks. And, like, I love you guys so much, but, like, I'm really. I'm just doing my best.
- [39:51]
Host
Yeah. Yeah.
- [39:52]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
That's what I need. I need, like, a doorknob sign. But, like, on my phone, somehow, it's
- [39:55]
Host
like an automatic text alert that, like, thank you so much. Thank you so much for sending me this message.
- [40:00]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Who do you think you are? Like, Kinsey will get back to you in an organized manner. They'd be like, okay.
- [40:07]
Host
I'm like, not me looking into that. I know. But my best friends, literally, I haven't seen them in, like, Two weeks. And they were like, can we see you guys this weekend? And I'm like, already stressing about, like, I have a bridal shower, then I have a birthday party and like, I'm really needing to clean out my closet because there's all my old clothes that don't fit me and I need to get the new clothes in. But then I also need to do the laundry. I'm like, no, I actually need to, like, sit down with my best friends and like, see them. And like, it's. That is so life giving to me. Like, the laundry can wait. But then at the same time, my brain is like, there's just. There's so many things. No.
- [40:38]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And like, one thing about me, I always have a closet to organize. Like, and I've always. It's always on my week and plans. Like, I need to do it at all times. But we'll trick ourselves into thinking that, like, that's going to make us feel better. When really, like, time with your friends is going to make you feel better. Yeah, but it, it feels like in your head, it's like more overwhelming to not get the task done. You know what I mean?
- [40:56]
Host
Yeah, yeah.
- [40:58]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And then you'll be more drained.
- [41:00]
Host
It's true. Okay, let's dive a little bit into, like mental health stuff. We kind of were talking about grief, but let's just talk about everyday mental health wellness. What does like, prioritizing your mental health look? I mean, I guess did you have to kind of prioritize your mental health before you lost your brother?
- [41:15]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yes. So I've always had like anxiety and depression, basically. I don't remember a time in my life where I didn't have it more so anxiety, but definitely of depression as well. And I've been like, on and off meds prior to that. Grief is different because grief just hit. I hate to say this because I hate when people. Something like whenever after I lost my brother, we were joining support groups and stuff and there'd be people in there that are like, it's been 22 years and it feels the exact same. Like that stuff, like, isn't helpful or encouraging at least didn't feel that way for me, but like, grief really was so much worse than the other stuff that I had dealt with. But I will say this isn't like a day to day thing, but something that I did that was so helpful. Have you heard of brain codes?
- [41:55]
Host
They're in the brain mapping thing.
- [41:56]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Kind of. Yes. They're in Aspen and Dallas. I actually need to look up their Instagram Bio so I can tell you exactly what it is. But out of anything I've ever done that was so helpful and I noticed it specifically, I didn't even finish it because it was like in the middle of when my brother passed away.
- [42:13]
Host
Yeah.
- [42:13]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Wait, brain. What is it? Brain codes. Hold on, I need to find this because this is important brain codes. So it's brain code centers and it's an our all natural approach to mental health care. It's your brain's potential taking back control, achieving your goals. It's just neurofeedback. It is. It was the best thing I ever did because after in the middle of like losing my brother, I was like, okay, I. The fact that my brain is able to operate it was 1000% because I had done that prior. And the whole thing is they want to do it for like six months and that way you're not in it for the rest of your life. It was the biggest game changer I've ever done for anything like actual like mental health. That's not helpful because it's not like a daily ritual. But out of anything I've ever done like therapy, I've done trauma therapy. I've done every single therapy under the book. I've done like there is nothing like the brain mapping that I did through raincoats.
- [43:00]
Host
No. Our friends like swear by neurofeedback. I've. My husband and I both have done a little bit of it and then we. We started doing it last year and it was like before summer and then we were like just gone traveling and we like need to go back. Was yours the ones where they like put a couple things in your head and you just watch either. What did you watch?
- [43:16]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Gilmore obviously.
- [43:18]
Host
So I know some people that watch something and then my place has like a. It's basically like a video game but you're not playing it. It basically is like you're either in. You can pick what it looks like. So you can either be like in a car race and the car goes when your brain is doing the correct thing and then when it's not, it like the car slows down and then like the screen starts to go dark. So you can either have that. I pick the one that has butterflies. And that's basically it. You literally just like sit and stare at the thing.
- [43:49]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
It was the best thing I ever did. And it's crazy because you're sitting there and you're like, I feel like an idiot. Cuz there's no way this is doing anything. I'm literally I would go in and they would attach things to my head and I would watch gilmore girls for 30 minutes, like three times a week. Yeah, I was like, I'm so dumb. Like, I think my woo wooess has like, gone a little too far. And then it was the best thing I ever did. I don't.
- [44:06]
Host
And I don't know like, how to properly explain it because the science behind it is just. It's too advanced for me. But I really think there is such. There is so much to, like, the subconscious. Like, our brains, like, we can only control like, such a small portion of it, and our brain just does a lot of its stuff on its own. And so I feel like that's a way to tap into it and heal parts of your brain that like, we couldn't do just like, sitting, talking.
- [44:34]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Have you ever done a scan with Dr. Amen? Okay, so like whenever I. I did that and then I've done like the brain mapping and all that. So whenever they do a scan of your brain or they'll however they do it and it comes back, I know mine's gonna be bad. Like, I know that going into it, I'm so like, I like outgoing and louder a little bit, but I'm like, bubbly sometimes. So I think that they're just maybe a little like, taken aback when I like, I don't think that they like, see that coming at first. And so they're sitting there like, well, just so you know, like, they're not trying to scare me. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, trust me, I'm aware. I'm like, oh, yep, that looks right. Yeah. But they're always like, this isn't. They're like, this is curable. We can fix this. And I'm like, no, guys, don't worry, I gotcha it. So I think we're so good. I'm like, oh, I'm like years ahead of you. Trust me, I live with it.
- [45:18]
Host
How long ago was your last brain scan? Have you only done it once?
- [45:21]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I only did it once and then they sent me to brain mapping. Yeah. So I should do an updated one.
- [45:26]
Host
I've been wanting to do one. I got mine probably in 20. I actually don't know if Taylor and I were maybe beginning of 22. Yeah. But maybe beginning of 2022. And mine was like, so helpful for me because I worked as a Covid nurse and I left and had a lot of like, mental stuff. But I was diagnosed with PTSD from that and I was like, had the whole like, disassociating like, just all of that stuff, and I was really feeling, like a crazy person. But then when I went in and got my brain scan, and it was like, oh, no. Like, you're actually having, like, depression and, like, ptsd. I was like, I feel so much better. Whereas, like, my husband was like, I don't want to do this because I don't want to know what's going on. But it gave me.
- [46:09]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And that's actually female versus male thing.
- [46:12]
Host
Yeah. I've actually had, like, quite a few people be like, weren't you, like, scared to, like, find out, like, when you just, like, want to, like, not know? But I was at the point where I was like, I feel. I feel like I'm going crazy.
- [46:22]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
You need an answer.
- [46:23]
Host
Yeah. And, like, any answer is better than me just, like, not knowing and, like, trying to go through life like, how I am going through life with not, like, the proper help.
- [46:35]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Totally. It's also, for me, it's a little bit of a control thing. Like, it's helpful because I'm like, well, I know that. So at least I have the knowledge now, and I can make a decision. You know what I mean? Like, I can move forward. If I don't know something, I'm just gonna stay in this.
- [46:49]
Host
Yeah. Forever. Yeah. I've noticed. I've come to realize about myself I kind of thought it was a claustrophobic thing, but now I think it's a control thing that I've developed. So I know a lot of friends that developed OCD from working as nurses, which I think is a common thing that I had no clue of. But when after, like, working through Covid, I developed, like, really bad claustrophobia as well. After that, I developed a fear of, like, flying, and I wouldn't like, if people. Like, I only really liked my husband driving me in the car. Like, I never, like, properly felt, like, safe in something, and I always thought it had to do with, like, claustrophobia. But now, as of literally, like, a month ago, and I was on a plane, I think it's actually more so I'm just not in control. And I had such a lack and loss of control during that time period that now it's hard for me to, like, actually, like, not. Like, I do some very tense in situations that I can't control.
- [47:48]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I am too. I'm, like, not even with that. I think so many of my issues, they boil down to control.
- [47:53]
Host
Yeah.
- [47:54]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
But I'm really easygoing.
- [47:56]
Host
Why is that? But. But then. But then I also have things where I'M like, I literally, like, I don't, like, I don't care majority of the time.
- [48:04]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I actually weirdly am very laid back. I grew up with eight siblings. You had to be so like, like six of them step. But I like, there was so much going on. I actually, I. I'm shockingly laid back. Like, you wouldn't think that, but when it comes to my day to day.
- [48:18]
Host
Yeah.
- [48:18]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
There are certain things that I have to do. I think control get like, we don't ever actually have real control. So it gives you a false sense of control to where you think you have everything handled or you can fix it. Whereas like none of us even really actually have control. So it's just like this never ending cycle that just kind of makes you like go crazy and make. I mean, I make bad decisions based off of it, you know?
- [48:38]
Host
Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just like really curious to see how this evolves for me. Like becoming a parent.
- [48:43]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah.
- [48:43]
Host
I'm already like, dear God, help me
- [48:46]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
now I feel like it makes you give up a lot of control.
- [48:48]
Host
I hope.
- [48:48]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I think it goes probably one or the other. Like, you know, they say like your first route, you're really by the book. And the second, they're like, oh, you're fine, you know.
- [48:55]
Host
Yeah, I. Yeah, I don't.
- [48:56]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
It'll be a journey.
- [48:57]
Host
Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna see how that goes. I'm curious, what if you have an answer for this, what parts of yourself are you, if any, still learning to accept?
- [49:09]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
That's such a good question. I honestly, I do think it's that I've just like, I'm a lot more controlling than I thought I was.
- [49:14]
Host
Yeah.
- [49:15]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Like, I've noticed it more in my relationship because my boyfriend Charlie is like literally the most perfect angel. Like you go anywhere. Like multiple people when I have introduced him, have cried because like spending time with him, he's just is like the best person you've ever met. And he's so great and so easygoing and like, I. He's like perfect with me too. We're like the perfect match. But like, he is very patient with me and whatever. And there's certain things that I'm like, it's not that or like will bother me, but it's not his fault at all. He's not doing anything wrong. It's just the fact that I feel like it's the dumbest, smallest stuff, but it's control. And I think that it's just been more highlighted to me through our lives, like coming Together, I feel like. So I think that, that because it's also kind of hard because, like, I'm weirdly am. It sounds like I'm being pick me or like an idiot, but, like, I weirdly am laid back. In other, like, if we're on a group trip, I'm the first one to sleep on the couch. I don't care where I sleep. I don't need a nice seat. I don't care about that stuff.
- [50:11]
Host
Yeah.
- [50:11]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And that's all like, growing up with a lot of siblings. So I think it's like the weird things with control that give me like, some sort of, like, false sense of control.
- [50:20]
Host
Yeah.
- [50:21]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Also because I've tried to be like, with mental health, I try to be really, like, proactive. Like, I'm really affected by my environment, so I need my house to be clean, so I keep it clean and organized. I know that on myself, I work way better when I'm on a routine. And if I'm working out, it makes me feel it's way more for my mental health. Like, I have things set in place to be proactive with my mental health rather than like, reactive so that I don't get into a bad place. With that being said, of course I still will, but like, I try to avoid it as much as possible. So I think it's just. I don't know, I think the aspects of, like, control that I'm trying to
- [50:54]
Host
be, like, let go of for sure. What are some, like, non negotiables for you in your routines?
- [51:00]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I have to work out. If I don't work out, I go crazy. I love to. I read a lot. I don't meditate. But someone told me once that was a smart person. They said that. Oh, actually it was whenever I was doing my. One of the mapping things.
- [51:15]
Host
Okay.
- [51:16]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
They said the weirdest part about this brain. They couldn't figure it out.
- [51:20]
Host
This brain.
- [51:21]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
They're like this brain that we're really unsure about. No, they. They are not scary. By the way, when they do this. I'm just being funny, but they said that the part of your brain that would be highlighted if you're a meditator was like very healthy or green or in the clear. Whatever. It was the way that they showed it to you and they said, do you meditate? And they said, no. Know. But I read a lot and they're like, that's what it is. So there's something about reading that makes me calm down a lot. I like any. I'm really big on hobbies.
- [51:45]
Host
Okay.
- [51:46]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And I need hobbies that use your hand. So like I garden a lot. I like actual garden, like with a shovel, not like smoking.
- [51:52]
Host
Yeah.
- [51:52]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And then I'm like, that's my hobby. And then I like needlepoint. It sound like it's like very grandma hobbies. But those things are so meditative. Like I wake up every Single morning at 6am and like Charlie has my exact blanket that I want out. Like gets my coffee, my eye patches, lights the fire, lights a candle and I go and I sit like I'm 85 years old and I need a point for an hour. And then that just like makes me so calm. And then I go work out. So I have like hobbies in workouts and stuff. Like those are my non negotiables that I have to do.
- [52:20]
Host
Yeah.
- [52:21]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
To like be okay. And it's helped me a lot because I don't doom scroll nearly as much as I did before because I have other things that I would now rather do for sure. I couldn't just like stop doing scrolling. We're all addicted. There's no way. I still do scroll, of course. But like it's easier for me now because I have other things that I would like to do instead of just like sit there and like brick myself out of my phone. Be like, okay, now what do I do?
- [52:40]
Host
Yeah, no, that's, that's good. Do you journal?
- [52:42]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah, I go in and out of it. I was really into morning pages for a very long time, so. I love morning pages. I'll do like a devo. Like I'll do things like that. I'll go in and out of my like routine with that, like a quiet time or something. Like I'll, I go in and out of my routine there.
- [52:56]
Host
Yeah.
- [52:57]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
But that's also very helpful.
- [52:58]
Host
You know, I definitely feel like I feel my best when I have that like quiet time in the morning routine. I'm like still trying to figure out exactly what that is. I was really good for probably like four months. I was doing like journal devotional, like every single morning. And you feel amazing and it feels so great. And then I got pregnant and then I died during my first trimester. And I still haven't made that like jump back into it yet. But it's. I have the same thing of like, of my routine of like waking up and I feed the dogs and I open the door, then I light the candle, then I put my jazz music on. Like it's like very much. It just like feels so nice.
- [53:35]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Have you ever done the draw the circle devo? Like, I think it's like, Mark Batterson or something like that. I don't even know who the author is at all, but it's so good. Okay. And it's really interesting because it, like, ties to history, which I like. There's certain aspects of it that, like, obviously I don't agree with, but, like, there's things that are just like, it's. It's just more interesting to me.
- [53:52]
Host
Yeah.
- [53:52]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Because it ties to history, and I like that stuff.
- [53:54]
Host
Okay.
- [53:55]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
And it's not like history, in a sense, that you're learning in school. It's just history is a bad way to put it. It just gives you life examples, like, situations that have happened in the past.
- [54:02]
Host
Yeah.
- [54:03]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
So in my head, I'm like. So I'm like, reading historical books.
- [54:06]
Host
I mean, that would be. What kind of books do you read? That's what I was gonna ask earlier.
- [54:09]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Okay. So actually, I have. I'm so happy that you asked this question because I recently. I'm, like, actually been dying for someone asking this question, because I recently started reading historical fiction, and you couldn't tell me that I'm not the smartest girl in the world, because I feel so good about myself reading historical fiction, like,
- [54:25]
Host
Bridgerton, like, times or what I read.
- [54:27]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Well, I was on, like, a really big Vietnam kick earlier this year. I read. I've been reading a lot of Kristen Hannah. Like, she's, like, the most probably, like, easiest historical fiction author to read. She's the most popular, like, in the mainstream.
- [54:38]
Host
I know nothing. So.
- [54:39]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Okay, so good. So I love, obviously, Jessica Hastings, my number one. But I love. Before, I was always reading, like, romance
- [54:47]
Host
and thriller, but justice be historical fiction.
- [54:50]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
No, Jesse is like, sorry, Jessa. She is in a realm of her own. She's in a league of her own. I actually don't even know what her.
- [54:59]
Host
Like, what it would be.
- [55:00]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah. I've even talked to her about this. I'm like, I literally do not know. Like, we've actually talked about this on the podcast. She's been on my show, like, probably 10 times, and, like, I still. And I've read everything. I read the books before they come out, and I still couldn't tell you what genre they are.
- [55:10]
Host
Yeah.
- [55:11]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Because they're just. She's a genre of her own.
- [55:13]
Host
Yeah.
- [55:14]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
But now I'm on this historical fiction kick. Like, thank God you asked me, so I can tell everyone that I do read historical fiction now. And they're so good. I read. Oh, I also read this book earlier this year called the Correspondent. Do you like, reading at all.
- [55:26]
Host
I really want to get into it.
- [55:27]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Okay. I can give you, like, any.
- [55:29]
Host
And I got a Kindle too, because I was, like, really wanting to. I'm almost done with Matthew McConaughey's book. Perfect. And I've been loving that.
- [55:36]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Okay, so you like a memoir?
- [55:38]
Host
I don't.
- [55:38]
Co-host
I really don't know.
- [55:39]
Host
I want to try.
- [55:40]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
We'll do a curated list for you.
- [55:41]
Host
I want to try fiction book, though. That's my thing. Because I feel like I actually would really enjoy, like, a, like, full. I feel like Matthew's book is, like. He just tells so many stories, and I'm, like, hearing him like, like, read it to me in my head as I'm reading it, and it, like, actually has, like.
- [55:59]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
All right, all right.
- [56:00]
Host
Literally, it, like, has pulled me out. But I want to try all of my. All of my girlfriends read, and they're all like, I know.
- [56:06]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
You really are in such a reader group of friends. My favorite of Jesse's books is actually Conditions of Will Values and that I think you would like. I read earlier this year the Correspondent, which was so good. It's Virginia Evans, and it's told through letters, which I thought I wouldn't like, but then I thought about it and I'm like, that's really not that different of a structure because that's basically how a book is written, you know, and it's this woman who's, like, telling the story of her life. It's so good. Like, five star reading the women. Kristin Hannah is like, one of my favorite books of all times, like, all time. But it's. That's like a universal favorite.
- [56:40]
Host
Yeah.
- [56:41]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I just was reading so many five stars this year. I was in a really bad book stump last year. This year it's really heavy. I don't. I'm not a big romantic, like, romantasy girl.
- [56:48]
Host
That's what a lot of my friends I know and I. She reads and. Yeah. And I don't know also because those books are, like, so, like, it's a
- [56:55]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
lot to start with. Yeah.
- [56:57]
Host
So they, like, scare me.
- [56:59]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
It's intimidating.
- [57:00]
Host
But then all, like, the. All of the movies are coming. Keaton actually really wanted me to read the Housemaid, like, a long time before they even. But then the movie came out and I just saw the movie. I'm like, okay, well, I don't.
- [57:10]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah, I don't have to. I will make you a curated list and I'll give you, like, little blurbs of, like, why I think you would like them.
- [57:15]
Host
Yeah, it's on. It's on my to do like over summer before I have this baby of like, just sit with a Kindle and like, read.
- [57:23]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
There's also this book right now, strangers, that is the talk of the town. Oh, my God. Belle Burden. Love her. Would do anything for that woman. But it's this memoir. My boyfriend gets me, like, oh, you love this divorce book. It's this memoir of this woman's divorce, which sounds really not great. Yeah, but you read it. It's a very quick read. You're really interested. It keeps you. I read it in less than 24 hours. I would have read, read it in one sitting had I had the time that day. It was so good. And it's a quick read. And I like to recommend books that everyone's talking about because, like, the community around books is like half the fun.
- [57:53]
Host
Yeah.
- [57:54]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
So it's cool to like, hear the discourse and stuff and like, be in the know because there's so many, like, interviews and stuff she's doing right now. But she's also amazing.
- [58:00]
Host
Okay. Yeah, I'm going to need.
- [58:01]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I'm going to need this good podcast guest for you. I'm like, just pitching your podcast, guys.
- [58:05]
Host
She's.
- [58:06]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
It's a really good.
- [58:06]
Host
We're going to edit this and you're going to like, email me like a whole like, here are your books here.
- [58:10]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Yeah, I have homework.
- [58:12]
Host
Yeah. The achiever. And you're just going to like, go type it all up.
- [58:15]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
That's me being a three wing too.
- [58:16]
Host
Yep, truly. It truly is. Last question I have for you is, if someone is listening to this right now and feels behind where they're at in life, what would you say to them?
- [58:29]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Okay, a couple like, tangible, practical things. You need to go on a walk and listen to like Vienna or something. Like, you're not behind. That's not a real thing. That doesn't exist. Also, watch who you're following online. My favorite accounts to follow are old people. Like, I like someone who's like in a retirement home or could be in a retirement home and they're always telling you the same thing, which is like, don't put so much pressure on yourself. It's not that big of a deal. You're gonna, like, figure it out in due time. I also, a lot can change in a year. Like, I was in the worst place I've ever possibly been in in the past year and a half year and my life is outside of grief is better than it's ever been now. And it's just so much can happen in a year. So don't live by some fake made up timeline. It's not a thing. Like that's something that you're like pressure that you're putting on yourself. This is coming from someone who has lived by a fake made up timeline. My whole life, like I have done nothing but put pressure on myself. I also try to think about myself like what my 60 year old self would say to myself now. And I know every time it's going to be like, you're putting too much pressure on yourself. It's going to work out with or without you. Like you worrying does not change the outcome, but it does make you miserable and it also might make the outcome worse because you might start doing making bad decisions based out of like desperation or stress or whatever it is.
- [59:45]
Host
That's so true.
- [59:46]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
So go on a walk, listen to Vienna. You'll be fine. Just calm down and like there is no timeline. Like you just also I have I something that I would do too because, you know, I was the made up timeline queen myself. Yeah, I would Google people. I also weirdly did this with grief. I would google people. These are like two separate things. I would google people who were like people who achieved success like quote, later in life. I literally did like multiple podcast episodes on like listing these people off and like there's life stories.
- [60:16]
Host
Yeah.
- [60:16]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I love someone that decided to go to like med school in their 60s or something. Like change their life completely. Like life is short, but it's also very long. You have so many things that you can do. I would do that also with grief. I would google like celebrities only because it was you could see their life. Like obviously a private person doesn't like sharing their life on the Internet. But I would Google celebrities of like people who have lost siblings. So I could see that they still had a good life outside of that. Like that would give me some sort of hope. So finding like random people out there that are kind of like the like the answer to your problem and like seeing them from afar personally helped me a lot.
- [60:51]
Host
Yeah, I love that. Well, that's a great way to end this episode. Yay.
- [60:55]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Thanks for having me on. It was so fun.
- [60:57]
Host
Thanks for coming and chatting and yapping.
- [60:58]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
I had to like look at the clock.
- [60:59]
Host
I was like, oh, we're just literally have sat and talked for another hour. Well, good.
- [61:04]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
We will actually.
- [61:05]
Host
Yeah, we have to.
- [61:10]
Mackenzie Elizabeth
Foreign. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.