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- [00:01]
VRBO Narrator
At vrbo, we understand that even the best of plans sometimes need a little support, so we plan for the plot twists. Every booking is automatically backed by our VRBO Care guarantee, giving you confidence from the very start. Whenever you need help, it's ready before your stay, through the moments in between and after your trip. Because a great trip starts with peace of mind and maybe a good playlist. But we've got the peace of mind part covered.
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Podcast Announcer
The following podcast is a Dear Media
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Tay
Production hello, I am Tay and this is the Squeeze. I'm sitting down with you guys. Just me and you and no one else. I've been gatekeeping a lot of things from you. I've never shared anything this personal with the Internet before. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about it. Being married to someone that is in the spotlight, your privacy sacred. I was scared that someone was gonna find out I was pregnant and leak it. It was really exciting that Taylor and I got to do that on our own terms. It's just crazy how my perspective on life has changed. Just how much I really did not know. Oh, you'll understand when you're this. I. It's true. Unfortunately, whatever I went through, I was not expecting that at all. The hunger. I'm normally a hungry girl now. Who was gonna tell me about this hunger?
- [01:24]
Sponsor/Co-host
I literally wake up multiple times a
- [01:26]
Tay
night and have to eat food. Food. Like literally eat food. I live in these sweatsuits anyways. Pretty much always looking like Adam Sandler. But when the Adam Sandler doesn't become a choice anymore, that's when it's like, oh, okay, this actually isn't as fun as it used to be. This is just a beautiful thing and it comes with a lot of low lows and a lot of high highs. For the first time in my 29 years of life, I have, which I hate saying. Hello, you cutie lemon drops. Welcome back to another episode of the Squeeze. I know that we have quite a few new viewers listeners, however you listen to your podcast. Hello, I am Tay and this is the Squeeze that you are watching or listening. Be sure to subscribe or follow along, but I am super excited for this episode because I'm sitting down with you guys. Just me and you and no one else. This is only my second time doing this, but I wanted to kind of have a little one on one chat with you because I've been gatekeeping a lot of things from you about my pregnancy and I'm just so excited to finally be sitting down and talking to you about It. I have been. It's kind of crazy cuz during your first trimester, I never realized how like isolating it could feel because, you know you're not supposed to tell anyone and it's just you don't really have anyone to talk to besides your spouse, which is great, but you know, you're not supposed to tell anyone. You're supposed to keep it a secret. And I decided to kind of share with some close family and friends earlier than you're supposed to just because I needed some support. But I've never, I've never shared anything this personal with the Internet before and I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about it. There's definitely a part of me that is nervous about this. I, I knew I wanted to share about my pregnancy. One I kind of had to because of the nature of this podcast. I can only hide my belly under a sweatsuit for so long. You guys would definitely catch on. But I really wanted to share because with our wedding, which is definitely not as personal of a journey, but, you know, it's still a very special intimate thing, or with our wedding, I didn't really share much about it. I didn't really share anything leading up. It was kind of just we were engaged. I think I maybe shared a little bit, maybe about like I saved the date, like something I had designed. But aside from that, I really didn't share anything else. And part of me is obviously very thankful that I did that because being married to someone that is in the spotlight, your privacy, I've had to learn, is something that is almost sacred. There's a reason why a lot of, you know, movie stars, actors, whatever they may be, why they're so private with their life and why we're always like, you know, like Zendaya and Tom, that
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Sponsor/Co-host
they had didn't share their wedding.
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Tay
Like I now being married to someone who's had their whole life like that, I understand it. And so I'm thankful that we did that for our wedding because it was so intimate and special. But with this pregnancy, I really wanted to share about it because I, I didn't know if I really wanted to at first. And then I think going through my first trimester, now I'm in my second. I didn't realize how much of sounds silly. I didn't realize how much of a mental toll it really was going to be. And I know so many women who are moms, who have been pregnant, who are pregnant, and I thought I wouldn't be doing my platform justice not Sharing about it, because I talk about mental health all the time, so I wanted to do that. Now, I don't know. I don't know exactly everything I'm going to share, and I just ask that you guys respect that, please. But I will be sharing stuff, a
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Sponsor/Co-host
lot, a lot of stuff.
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Tay
Just personally, what I'm going through. But, yeah, I kind of just wanted to take this time for us to
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Sponsor/Co-host
sit and chat and for me to
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Tay
update you about what has been going through my mind over the past couple months, because I've kind of been stuck in there for quite some time. And now that you all know that
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Sponsor/Co-host
I'm pregnant, it honestly kind of feels
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Tay
like a weight lifted off my shoulders because every time I would go into
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Sponsor/Co-host
my obs office or go to a
- [06:52]
Tay
doctor's appointment or go really out anywhere in public, I would. I was scared that someone was gonna find out I was pregnant and leak it. So it was really exciting that Taylor and I got to do that on our own terms. And I can't explain the response from us posting. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that at all, I think, because, you know, we've shared our engagement in our wedding, and so I was just expecting it to be similar to that.
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Sponsor/Co-host
But I was wrong.
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Tay
My phone that day was blowing up like crazy, and I've just never experienced anything like that before. And it was definitely overwhelming. But the love and support and the amount of messages I got, like, I didn't get a single. I mean, we got one mean message, but, like, out of hundreds and hundreds of messages, so kind, so supportive, so many women just reaching out. I love all the messages of other moms that are pregnant right now and sharing that. You know, it's going to be so fun that we get to be pregnant together and go through this journey together. So the amount of love, I just. I was not expecting that kind of love. And it really just. It was so. It was overwhelming in a good way. But it also put into perspective, like, how precious this pregnancy and this baby is. But at the end of the day, I still want to share it with you guys. This is a part of my life. You have been with me through so much, so many of my struggles, so much of my growth, and I think we should. I think we should just kind of dive into some of it. So, as I mentioned, I was definitely a little apprehensive with sharing, I think, because of two things. One, there obviously is a part of me that feels guilty sharing this, which, you know, I think that's just me being an empath in my head and wanting everyone to know, feel loved and supportive. But I know so many women that have struggled with fertility and I know how lucky I am to have this baby in me. And I was definitely apprehensive to share just because there is that aspect of guilt that I feel. But I know my friends that are struggling with fertility and have and have had miscarriages. They want me sharing this. They want, want something to be able
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Sponsor/Co-host
to somewhat relate to and look forward to.
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Tay
And I know that they wouldn't want me to share, they wouldn't want me to hold back sharing my story just because of what they're going through. So that was one thing I was apprehensive about.
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Sponsor/Co-host
I feel like during the week my schedule can get so busy between work, recordings, workouts and just everything going on. And cooking is usually the first thing to go.
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Tay
And that's when I either end up skipping meals, snacking, or just ordering takeout,
- [10:05]
Sponsor/Co-host
which never makes me feel great. So lately I've been trying to be more intentional about having real meals ready to go, even on those busier days. And that's where Tempo has been such a game changer for me. Tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted, dietitian approved meals right to your door. And everything comes fully prepared so all you have to do is heat it up. It literally takes about two minutes, which makes it so easy to stay consistent. Each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and I feel like it takes all the guesswork out of eating well. I don't have to think about what to make or if I'm getting a balanced meal, it's just ready. And I also love that they have 20 new recipes each week made from nutrient rich ingredients, so it doesn't feel repetitive and you can actually switch things up depending on what you're in the mood for. There are also different options depending on your goals, like higher protein meals with up to 30 grams of protein, calorie conscious meals or just balanced meals that fit into your routine, which I think is really nice. And honestly it just makes those busy days feel a little more manageable because I know I have something quick, easy and actually satisfying waiting for me for a limited time. Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Go to tempomeals.com squeeze that's tempomeals.com squeeze for 60 off your first box. Tempo meals.com/squeeze rules and restrictions may apply. I feel like we all know someone who is completely obsessed with their dog
- [11:34]
Tay
and if I'M being honest. You all know me, and I am one of those people.
- [11:39]
Sponsor/Co-host
Like, Remy and Lily are not just dogs to me. They are fully a part of the family.
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Tay
I talk to them like they're people.
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Sponsor/Co-host
I plan my schedule around them. And I've definitely done some extra things
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Tay
for them that I probably wouldn't want to admit.
- [11:51]
Sponsor/Co-host
But I feel like when you love your dog that much, you just want to make sure they're getting the best of everything. And if anyone gets dog obsessed, it's Ollie. Ollie's Fresh recipes are actually developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionist. So you know you're giving your dog real high quality food. And what I love is that everything is tailored specifically to your dog, from the portion sizes to their individual needs. So it just takes the guesswork out of it. Remy and Lily have been having Ollie for almost two years, and I cannot explain to you that the difference in their energy, their coat and meal time is such a breeze. Lily is definitely our picky eater, and I never have to force her to eat her food. Now she eats it, no problem.
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Tay
And it's so nice to see the
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Sponsor/Co-host
girls so happy about eating food that's
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Tay
really good for them. Another thing that I think is really cool is that through the Ollie app, you can actually check in on your
- [12:44]
Sponsor/Co-host
dog's health with real vets just by uploading a picture.
- [12:47]
Tay
They can help monitor things like their
- [12:48]
Sponsor/Co-host
weight, coat and overall health, which gives me so much peace of mind. Get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com squeeze tell them all about your dog and use code squeeze to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's O l l I e.com squeeze and enter code squeeze to get 60% off your first box. Ollie, feed the obsession.
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Tay
I feel like one of the hardest
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Sponsor/Co-host
parts about working out isn't even the workout itself. It's everything around it.
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Tay
Figuring out what to do, staying consistent,
- [13:26]
Sponsor/Co-host
and just having the motivation to actually show up, especially when life gets busy. And I've definitely had phases where workouts are the first thing to fall off my schedule. And that's why I've been loving tonal. Tonal provides the convenience of a full gym and the guidance of a personal trainer anytime at home with one sleek system.
- [13:45]
Tay
And I feel like that's what makes
- [13:46]
Sponsor/Co-host
it so much easier to stay consistent. It just removes so many barriers. It's designed to reduce that mental load so you're not overthinking your workouts or trying to figure out what to do. You can just focus on actually getting it done. And something I really love is that it gives you real time coaching cues so you're not second guessing your form, which I think is huge, especially if you're working out on your own. It does a quick assessment that sets the optimal weight for every move and adjust as you get stronger. So you're always being challenged without having to think about it. And there's so many different types of workouts you can choose from, like strength training, arrow hit, yoga, mobility. So it keeps things interesting and doesn't feel repetitive. We've had our tonal for a couple years now and I just feel like it makes working out feel so much more approachable and manageable. Especially on those busy days when leaving
- [14:33]
Tay
the house for the gym just is not going to happen.
- [14:37]
Sponsor/Co-host
And right now Tonal is offering our listeners 200 off your tonal purchase with promo code squeeze that's tonal.com and use promo code squeeze for 200 off your purchase. That's tonal.com promo code squeeze for 200
- [14:50]
Tay
off but also early on in my pregnancy I I decided that I wanted to share with a couple close friends and family that I was pregnant because I have walked through miscarriage with people very close to me. Both kind of on both ends. I've I've experienced finding out about a miscarriage not knowing that my friend was pregnant and her having to tell me she was pregnant and she miscarried and the other end of knowing that my friend is pregnant and then her having to come and tell me that she miscarried. So I've kind of walked through knowing, seeing what both can kind of feel like from the friend angle, obviously. And after walking through that with a few people I decided that I needed to tell some close people in my life that I was pregnant because you just never know what could happen. And even, I mean even still sitting right now, there's still so many things that can happen. But that was something I decided early on. I needed to tell a couple close friends that I was pregnant because I needed that support and God forbid, you know, anything did happen. I didn't want to have to make the call and tell them that I was pregnant and I miscarried. I wanted them to know of the pregnancy already so that I wasn't having to deliver to types of newses to them. And that was something obviously everything has turned out okay. So I didn't have to walk through that. But that was something I never thought about until I was actually pregnant. It's just crazy how much my perspective on life has changed and I feel like just how much. Just how much I really did not know. And they always say like, oh, you'll understand when you're this or you're. You'll understand when you're that. I. It's true. Unfortunately, no, but in all seriousness, I did not realize that pregnancy was like this. I'm kind of like, were we not. I guess I just was never on like pregnancy talk or like any form of pregnancy social media. And so when I did get pregnant, then my, like, as of now, my entire TikTok feed is just a bunch of pregnant women sharing their symptoms and whatnot. And so then I was like, oh, okay, this is normal. But going into it, I. I just had no clue. Like, you hear people are like, oh, I have morning sickness and I'm this or whatever it is, but I just don't. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. Whatever I went through, I was not expecting that at all. Taylor and I both were not expecting that at all. So that was really. It was interesting to learn. But it also gave me such perspective of me not knowing what my friends that are moms have gone through. And I think that if you take anything away from this episode, it is that if you have. If you are pregnant and your friends have not been pregnant, you have to voice to them your needs. Because I had no clue what my pregnant friends needed until I now have gone through this. And luckily I have such amazing friends in my life. And one of my best friends, she has not been pregnant, doesn't have any kids, and she sat me down and she was like, you need to tell me like, what you need, because I have no clue. And it was in that moment I was like, oh my gosh, you're right. Like I actually had no clue what happens to your body, even just like your brain alone. Like, my thoughts and my mental capacity, just how everything has changed. So if you are the first one in your friend group that's pregnant, you need to tell your friends what you need. You cannot expect them to know what you need and vice versa. If you are pregnant, don't expect your friends to know. Don't put that kind of pressure on them because they will fail. They will. I failed as a friend to some of my pregnant friends because I truthfully had no idea and I should have been a better friend and asked so if you're the friend of a pregnant woman, you need to ask. And if you're pregnant, you need to tell your friends what you need. Because that communication, like you, you just need that. And you need to obviously have that with your partner too.
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Sponsor/Co-host
Taylor has, as you all could guess,
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Tay
has just been a dream. He has been my saving grace during this pregnancy. My first trimester. He was my chef, my waiter, the runner, the cleaner, he was the everything. But I think having that close relationship with your girlfriends is so important. Like even having a girlfriend just come over and sit on the couch with me when I'm not feeling good. It's still mentally, I don't know what it does. And I think that maybe is in part my personality because I definitely am. Being around friends that don't require energy is very life giving to me. Like people that I can be myself
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Sponsor/Co-host
around and love and feel loved by
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Tay
them, it's very life giving to me. So even when I was in the trenches of my first trimester, I was really able to lean on my friends and have them over for dinner and I like wouldn't even eat. But just like having them in the house, like I would be laying on the couch just like feeling horrible, like having an ice pack, trying to like have a popsicle and just like hearing them in the house, even like having them in the kitchen while I'm in the living room, it just did something to me. And if you're the type of person that needs community, I would definitely consider telling obviously if you're comfortable. But this is what I did. Telling your close friends, those people that
- [21:10]
Sponsor/Co-host
are your rock, maybe it's your family.
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Tay
I obviously don't have any siblings and my sister in law and brother in law live in Nashville so I don't have any like close people like that. So my best friends are like my siblings. So having those tight knit people that you can have around and share the news with and can just be your support with your spouse has was honestly the best thing for me during that first trimester and I really think that it got me through it. And like I said, I am so excited to share this journey with you guys. I have filmed so much content and I have been just saving it in my phone. So I'm excited to finally share that. In the beginning I started doing little weekly updates of how I felt after six weeks and my seven week symptoms, my eight week symptoms and I'm excited to just like share that with you guys. My experience, having the pregnancy sub from Jersey Mike's. I have that all the time now. It's so good. So just like fun, fun things like that. I'm excited to share and I wanted to make it clear that this podcast will not turn into a pregnancy podcast. Obviously, this podcast is an extension of me, so I will be talking about my pregnancy. I will probably have some other pregnant women on and we're gonna talk about our pregnancies. But I know that pregnancy talk is not for everyone. So don't worry, I still have some amazing guests lined up. Next week's episode is actually one I'm so excited about. You guys will understand why when we start doing the promo for it, because I've been trying to schedule this episode for, honestly, like six months, maybe even more. And my guest is finally coming out to California.
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Sponsor/Co-host
She doesn't live here.
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Tay
She's finally coming out. And I'm very excited to share her with you guys because I've been so excited for this interview, but I wanted to just kind of make that clear that this will still be mental health based. We're still going to be sharing everyday stories, but obviously this is a new mental health struggle, new mental health thing I'm walking through. So as an extension of me, I'm definitely still going to be talking about that. But I feel like whenever I'm in
- [23:48]
Sponsor/Co-host
a phase of wanting to refresh my space, whether it's switching things up for for a new season or just finally
- [23:53]
Tay
upgrading pieces that I've had forever, I
- [23:56]
Sponsor/Co-host
always forget how much of a difference it actually makes. And lately I've been wanting things to feel a little more elevated, but still cozy and functional. And I feel like Wayfair has been my go to for that, especially because Wayday is coming up, which is honestly the best time to shop. From April 25th through 27th, you can get up to 80% off with free shipping on everything, which is actually kind of crazy. I've been using it to find pieces that actually fit my style and my space, and I feel like it just makes the whole process so much easier. You can filter by exactly what you're looking for, read tons of reviews, and really get a sense of how something is going to look before you even order it. And I also love that they have Wayfair Verified, which is basically their team vetting products through a full quality inspection so you feel confident you're getting something good, no matter your budget. I've recently been looking for some end
- [24:47]
Tay
tables, and I found some that fit
- [24:49]
Sponsor/Co-host
perfectly in my space. It's one of those things that just kind of pulls everything together. But also feels really practical for every day. And the whole process was so easy from ordering to delivery. And I love that they even offer things like assembly if you need it, which just makes everything feel so seamless. It's really such an easy way to upgrade your space without overcomplicating it.
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Tay
Wayday is the sale to shop the
- [25:12]
Sponsor/Co-host
best deals in home. We're talking up to 80% off with fast free shipping on everything. Head to Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W-A Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home this episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration and coffee sponsor. IQ Bar Protein Bars, IQ Mix Hydration Mixes and IQ Joe Mushroom Coffees are the delicious low sugar brain and body fuel you need to win your day. I'm always looking for things that are easy to grab throughout the day, especially
- [25:49]
Tay
when I'm busy on the go or
- [25:51]
Sponsor/Co-host
just don't have time to sit down for a full meal. And I also want something that actually keeps me feeling good and energized, not just something that's going to make me crash later. That's why I've been loving IQ Bar lately. I've personally been keeping the bars on
- [26:05]
Tay
hand for when I need something quick
- [26:07]
Sponsor/Co-host
and I love that they're made with plant protein, tons of fiber and no added sugar so they actually feel like
- [26:13]
Tay
a smarter snack option.
- [26:14]
Sponsor/Co-host
The IQ Mix has been amazing for hydration. It's a zero sugar drink mix with electrolytes and it's such an easy way to improve my mood and boost clarity throughout the day and for mornings. IQ Joe is such a good option. It's mushroom coffee with 200mg of caffeine and it's designed for mental clarity. With over 20,000 5 star reviews and counting, more people than ever are fueling their busy lifestyles with IQ Bars, Brain and Body Boosting bars, hydration mixes and mushroom coffees. Their Ultimate Sampler pack includes all three.
- [26:47]
Tay
For me, it's just been really easy
- [26:49]
Sponsor/Co-host
to incorporate into my routine. Whether it's starting my morning, grabbing something quick between things or just having something
- [26:55]
Tay
on hand that I know will actually keep me going.
- [26:57]
Sponsor/Co-host
And right now IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ Bar products, including the ultimate starter pack plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text squeeze to 64,000 that squeeze to 64,000 message and data rates may apply. See Terms for details.
- [27:19]
Tay
Something else that I was not expecting during pregnancy. This is something I was really iffy about sharing. I don't know why, but I feel like. Because we. I just feel like talking about bodies and body shapes is something that's not really taboo, but definitely because there's so much, like, GLP1 talk right now and being skinny and, like, natural bodies and all this stuff, it can kind of be, like, something that's, like, a little triggering to talk about and just, like, for the Internet and the haters on the Internet. Not even. Not even to, like, people personally.
- [28:02]
Sponsor/Co-host
But I was talking with my girlfriend
- [28:04]
Tay
about this, and I was telling her about a little bit of a meltdown that I had about my body. And she was like, you. Obviously, if you're comfortable. She was like, you need to share this. Because I've actually not heard a single pregnant woman talk about this before, which I know is something that we have all gone through as pregnant women. I know if you're listening to this, you're gonna maybe relate to this in some regard. But during my first trimester, I was convinced that body positivity of pregnant women and loving your body was propaganda. I literally got mad. I was like, I do not love my body. I don't know how people love their bodies like this. I am so uncomfortable in my own skin. I have never. I've never been one that has, like, disliked how I looked. I've always been very comfortable in who I am and, you know, having muscular legs and have, like, just. I've always been comfortable in myself. But for the first time in my 29 years of life, I have hated my body, which I hate saying, but it's the truth. I literally have not liked how I looked one bit. And I found myself thinking about that. I had a good cry to Taylor about it because I looked at myself naked in a mirror, and I was like, I'm so. Just fluffy and round, and I don't like how I look. And then I was just being all negative and being like, this is just propaganda. And how, like, how do women love their bodies? And I had to kind of take a step back and be like, wait, how? This is how I'm viewing myself. But when I look at pregnant women, I have actually never thought a negative thought about a pregnant woman before. When people show their bellies on the Internet, I'm like, yes, Queen pop off. Look at that belly.
- [30:09]
Sponsor/Co-host
When they show their stretch marks, when
- [30:11]
Tay
they show skin on their. I'm like, yes. Like, I. Every. Every pregnant woman glows to me. Like, I've Never been like, oh, my
- [30:17]
Sponsor/Co-host
gosh, look at her arms.
- [30:19]
Tay
I've. I've never thought that before, but now my body, I'm going through it and I'm like, ugh. Like, I. I don't like this. I don't have a bump right now. Like, it just. Nothing fits. And that was, that was another thing for me was my clothes didn't fit me earlier than I was expecting them not to fit me. And I think that that was really hard for me because I was just like, determined to fit in my jeans, which is absolutely insane. And I did gain a lot of weight fast. My first trimester, I had the worst food aversions, and I was eating straight carbs, toast, grilled cheese, butter noodles for probably two and a half weeks. And not only was I eating that, I was consuming it at an absurd rate.
- [31:14]
Sponsor/Co-host
Pregnant women, you obviously know this.
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Tay
And if you haven't experienced pregnancy or someone being pregnant or maybe you just don't know this. The hunger. I'm normally a hungry girl. I love snacks. I normally wake up hungry, like in the morning. I wake up now, being pregnant. The hunger.
- [31:33]
Sponsor/Co-host
Who, who, who was going to tell
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Tay
me about this hunger?
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Sponsor/Co-host
I literally wake up now, it's a little better.
- [31:39]
Tay
But in my first trimester, I would wake up so multiple times a night
- [31:42]
Sponsor/Co-host
and have to eat food.
- [31:43]
Tay
Like, literally eat food. So obviously, if I'm just eating carbs for two and a half, three weeks straight, because I can't get anything else to stay down and nothing else even remotely sounds good and I know I need something in my body.
- [31:59]
Sponsor/Co-host
Obviously your body's going to change if
- [32:02]
Tay
you're just eating carbs. And I was just eating carbs. And when things weren't fitting me at 10 weeks, I was not happy about it. I think also because I see pregnant women online that literally barely even have a belly and they're like, over halfway through their pregnancy, and I'm like, I'm at 10 weeks and I've put on more weight than they've put on in their entire pregnancy. I'm like, how? Like, why is this happening to me? And I really just wanted to talk about it because I. That was something for me. I really was not expecting at all to take such a mental toll on me.
- [32:45]
Sponsor/Co-host
And it sounds so silly.
- [32:46]
Tay
Like, I'm growing a baby, of course my body's gonna change. Like, it's fine that I'm eating all of this. Like, it's good. I was eating food with. And yes, all of that is true, but it's hard, man. Like, I just was not. I didn't think it would be like that. And I think I'm getting to a better place now with it, obviously. I mean, I already. I live in these sweatsuits anyways. You guys see me every week and I'm in these clothes. If you follow me on social media, I'm pretty much always looking like Adam Sandler. But when the Adam Sandler look doesn't become a choice anymore, and it's actually, you can only fit in your husband's clothes, that's when it's like, oh, okay, this actually isn't as fun as it used to be. And I was laying in bed awake at like three in the morning, because that's what I do now. And I was just thinking about how this phrase came to my mind. And I know I'm not inventing it, but whoever said it, it popped in my mind that we're not meant to fit in our clothes. Our clothes are meant to fit us. We are not meant to fit into our clothing. Our clothes are meant to fit us. Hopefully the people in the back heard I was thinking about this and I was like, you're right. I need to just. I need to just buy some new clothes. Of course I'm not going to fit in my size 24 Jean anymore. I just put on 20 pounds. Like, duh, I'm growing a baby. Like, common sense, Taylor, come on. And I bought new jeans, I bought new activewear. And when I put these clothes on
- [34:24]
Sponsor/Co-host
that fit me like they're supposed to, they're supposed to fit us.
- [34:28]
Tay
We're not supposed to fit in them. I was like, oh, I actually feel a little better. Like, no, duh, Sherlock. And that really, like, for me helped
- [34:38]
Sponsor/Co-host
kind of reset my brain a little
- [34:41]
Tay
bit once my hormones leveled out and I just accepted it. My husband does a very good job at affirming my emotions, but also loving me and making me feel like the most beautiful woman. So he has been such a tremendous help in that. But I also decided that I am no longer looking at the scale when I go to my OB appointments. I made that decision very early on to not look at the scale anymore because I. I just know that where my head was at, I luckily had the foresight to not just continue self, self sabotaging myself during one of the roughest things that a woman's body goes through in pregnancy and in being the first trimester. But I've just made that decision that I'm not gonna look. And I have Taylor and I bring him to all of my OB appointments, because I love having him with me, but when I step on the scale, we just, like, lock eyes and make eye contact, and he's like my accountability buddy.
- [35:50]
Sponsor/Co-host
I'm like, nope, it doesn't matter.
- [35:51]
Tay
This is the one time in life it really, like, doesn't matter. So I need to just accept it, honestly. And sitting here now, today, you know, that was a bit ago, my meltdown and those Me thinking just those nasty things about myself. Now sitting here today, I do feel better. Do I still have parts of my body, aside from my stomach that I don't love? Yes. Do I think I will get over that? Maybe. I don't know. But I do think that hopefully as time goes on and ironically, as my belly gets bigger, I think that might help because I'm actually will feel pregnant. And I wanted to. I wanted to share that. So thank you for letting me be vulnerable with you guys. And I just. I hate even, like, admitting it out loud, but when I was talking to my girlfriend, she was just like, I've never heard anyone share that before. And I think it's something that women go through in their first trimester, and we are just so, like, my mental capacity, like, I'm just kind of, like, surviving at this point, and now that I'm in my second, I have a little bit more headspace. But there's not really room to think and think logically when you are having those meltdowns because of your hormones and just how, like, at the end of every day, I was just exhausted of just literally living the day. And I think that's something that maybe a lot of women hopefully can relate to. Sorry if that was a bit of a downer for my first solo episode as a pregnant woman. It's beautiful, let me tell you. But I think that's something that a lot of us can relate to, being pregnant. And I hope that maybe if you are feeling that way, if you're going through through that right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hitting that turn into the second trimester, I've been able to be like, no, like, I'm growing a baby. Like, how insane is that? I'm literally growing, like, a little human inside of me. Like, of course my body is going to change, but it is just that part of accepting definitely can be a little hard. But I'm just so excited to get to share this journey with you guys. And I know I've just kind of touched the surface of what my first trimester, what my first little bit of pregnancy have been like, but I'm. I'm just so thankful that I feel honestly safe enough to do this. I have friends that are creators that don't want to share things like this and hold back a lot of stuff that I maybe would want them to share and be vulnerable on the Internet because it makes them who they are. But they don't have the kind of support that I have with you listeners, with the people that follow me on social media. I actually can't. Like, I might get emotional. I can't actually explain to you how much that support, like, really, truly, deeply means to me, because I see so much negativity on the Internet and my friends that are creators, the negativity that they get. And I truly just. I just feel. I just feel so lucky to get to do this and to get to share it with you guys and to get to have a little baby one day. Like, hearing. Hearing our baby's heartbeat the first time. Like, I. That's. I don't even, like, really don't think I don't have words for that moment yet as I'm crying again. I don't have words at all for that experience in that moment. So this is just. This is just a beautiful thing, and it comes with a lot of low lows and a lot of high highs, and I can't wait to walk through it with you guys together. It's going to be so fun. Sorry if I cry more and if I'm negative more, but that's just the truth, and that's why we're here. And I'm gonna keep it real like I always do. But truly, I love you guys so, so much. If there's any pregnancy topics that you're interested about that you want me to talk about, maybe there's a guest I could have on. Please leave a comment down below if you're watching this on YouTube.
- [40:21]
Sponsor/Co-host
If you're listening, I think you could
- [40:23]
Tay
still comment potentially on Spotify. I might be wrong.
- [40:25]
Sponsor/Co-host
I need to look.
- [40:27]
Tay
But leave a comment down below. Message us.
- [40:29]
Sponsor/Co-host
Go comment on our squeeze stuff.
- [40:31]
Tay
Comment on my stuff. Let us know who, what, when, where, why you want to see on the podcast. Because this whole pregnancy journey, I have learned so much, and I'm still learning so much every day. So I would love to get to
- [40:47]
Sponsor/Co-host
share more with you guys.
- [40:48]
Tay
But I will see you right back here next week. Make sure you have your notifications on, because I actually promise you guys next week's episode is going to be so amazing. Like, we've had one guest from her
- [41:04]
Sponsor/Co-host
show on before was either.
- [41:06]
Tay
Last year. I think it was last year. It was the most fun episode I've ever done, and it was probably the one I was most excited about. So I'm curious to see if you guys can guess who it's gonna be. But if not, I'll see you right
- [41:18]
Sponsor/Co-host
back here next week.
- [41:20]
Tay
Bye.
- [41:41]
Podcast Announcer
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