Podcast
The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce
Hosted by Britta Jo · EN
Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future.
stayorgogocoaching.com
40episodes
Episodes
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3 Things Every Woman Needs to Finally Trust Herself While Considering Divorce
Mar 1000:23:13Tap to summarizeThis is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.comEpisode 98: This week, I want to talk about something that sits underneath almost every conversation I have with women who are considering divorce. It’s the question beneath the question.Not just should I stay or go, but something deeper.Can I trust myself?So many women come into this space looking for certainty. They want to know they’re not overreacting. They want reassurance they’re not making a mistake. They want someone to tell them what the right decision is.But underneath all of that is the deeper ache of feeling disconnected from their own knowing.In this episode, I talk about why self-trust can feel so hard, especially when many of us were taught from a young age to look outside ourselves for answers. When you’re in the middle of a life transition like this, it can feel like being out in the middle of the ocean during a storm. There’s no clear map. No solid ground. Just the question of whether you can trust the voice inside you.I share the three things I’ve seen make the biggest difference in helping women rebuild that trust. Community that reflects you back to yourself. A deeper relationship with your intuition and the unseen. And the kind of knowledge that doesn’t just give you information, but helps you finally understand what you’re experiencing.This episode isn’t about giving you the answer to whether you should stay or go. It’s about something much more powerful than that.It’s about helping you remember that the voice inside you is worth listening to. And that self-trust is something you can rebuild, one step at a time. 🤍Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackEpisode 50: You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of a Marriage (And What to Do Instead)Sisterhood of the Seers Oracle – Athena LazThe Muse Tarot: A 78-Card Deck & Guidebook - Chris-AnneThe Cosmic Crossroads Oracle - Amanda Lynn AislingThe Hero’s Journey Dream Oracle - Kelly Sullivan WaldenThe Wild Unknown Decks – Kim KransThe Light Seer’s Tarot – Chris-AnneMan and His Symbols – Carl JungJungian Dream Interpretation ToolDiabolical Lies PodcastText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook
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When Your Marriage Feels Like Fate & How To Reclaim Your Destiny
Mar 301:17:34Tap to summarizeEpisode 97: This week’s episode goes straight to the heart of something many of you are living inside, even if you’ve never named it.Is this my fate? Or do I actually have a say in what happens next?If you’re considering divorce, you already know the weight of that question. The feeling that this decision will ripple through everything. Your children. Your future. The story of your life. It can feel predetermined, almost inevitable. Like this is just how it turned out.In this episode, I unpack the difference between fate and destiny in the way I’ve come to understand them through my own life and my work with women.Fate, to me, is what happens when we live unconsciously. When trauma stays buried. When old attachment wounds and survival strategies quietly organize our choices from the background. It’s the repetition that feels eerie and familiar. The same loneliness. The same power dynamics. The same feeling of not being enough. Different faces, same pattern.Destiny is something very different. It is not toxic positivity. It is not “just manifest harder.” And it is not a rigid script you are required to follow.Destiny is what begins to unfold when you start making the unconscious conscious. When you name your patterns. When you stop normalizing what hurts. When you reclaim your authority from systems, partners, parents, and even old versions of yourself.I walk through three essential nuances that matter deeply in this conversation: trauma complicates free will, not everything is self-created, and fate most often shows up as repetition compulsion. If you have ever wondered why you “chose” something that now makes you unhappy, this will land.And if you are asking yourself whether to stay or go, I want you to hear this: the deepest question is not just what you will choose. It is how awake you are inside the choosing.Destiny might mean repairing your marriage with brutal honesty. It might mean leaving with that same level of consciousness. The outcome is not the point. The point is whether you are repeating from old wounds or responding from integration.This episode is an invitation to stop living on autopilot and to start participating in your own becoming.Take a breath. Let it meet you where you are.Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
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Divorcing the “Good Guy”: From Confusion & Doubt to a Clear No
Feb 2401:03:16Tap to summarizeThis is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.comI’m sitting down with “Jane,” a woman I’ve had the honor of walking alongside inside the Stay or Go community for over a year as she considered, wrestled with, and ultimately chose divorce. I watched her do this work in real time. Not in a dramatic, blow-it-all-up way. In a slow, honest, deeply courageous way.Jane is divorcing what most people would call a “good guy.”No addiction. No affair. No obvious villain. From the outside, her marriage looked fine. Maybe even better than fine. And yet inside, she felt alone. Unseen. Disconnected from her own body. Her libido had disappeared. Her nervous system was frayed. She was carrying the emotional weight of the relationship while trying to convince herself it wasn’t “bad enough” to leave.We talk about what happens when a woman begins to speak up and how that alone can disrupt entire family systems. We talk about sexual coercion inside marriage and how easily it gets normalized. We talk about the terrifying moment when you realize you’re the only one truly doing the work. And we talk about integration, the long stretch between knowing something in your bones and being ready to act on it.Jane shares the flashpoint that shifted everything. The year and a half of deep identity work that followed. The escalation that can happen when you finally say the words out loud. And the unexpected peace of lying on the floor of your own place for the first time, realizing your body can finally exhale.What I love most about this conversation is how honest it is. There’s no clean arc. No instant certainty. Just a woman slowly disentangling herself from systems that were never built to support her and choosing alignment over appearance.If you’re in a marriage that looks acceptable on paper but feels hollow in your body, this one is for you.In Jane’s words, and I could not agree more:You can do this.Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook
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Come Home to Your Body Wisdom With Chandra Zas
Feb 2000:30:09Tap to summarizeThis is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.comEpisode 95: I had the opportunity to sit down live with my dear friend, Chandra Zas, to talk about her chapters in The Handbook for Human Potential. And while at first glance this might seem like a departure from our usual stay-or-go conversations, it is anything but.Because before you can make a clear decision about your marriage, you have to rebuild trust with yourself.So many of us have been trained to override our bodies. We override exhaustion. We override sadness. We override anger. We override our no. We override our intuition. And then, standing at one of the most consequential crossroads of our lives, we expect clarity to magically appear.Of course it feels like chaos.In this episode, we explore what it means to come home to your body in a grounded, practical way. We talk about early conditioning and shame. About how coping behaviors are often attempts at soothing a dysregulated nervous system. About the difference between demands and requests, and how that shift alone can transform the emotional architecture of our relationships.At its core, this conversation is about embodiment. About understanding that self-trust is not built through analysis alone, but through learning to feel and respond to your own internal signals with respect.If you are navigating uncertainty, especially around divorce, this episode invites you to slow down. To return to the foundation beneath the decision. To rebuild the connection that makes any choice — stay or go — something you can stand behind with steadiness.Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackChandra’s WebsiteHandbook for Human Potential: An Accessible Guide to Personal Growth - Chandra Zas, Britta Jo and OthersChandra Zas’s chapters: Chapter 0 and Chapter 10Handbook for Human Potential Amazon reviewsNo Bad Kids - Janet LansburyNonviolent Communication - Marshall B. Rosenberg PhDText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook
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"Positive Disintegration": Why It Feels Like You’re Falling Apart Before You Decide to Stay or Go
Feb 1000:45:56Tap to summarizeThis is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.comEpisode 94: In this episode, I start by inviting us to slow down together. I recorded this on February 8, 2026, and I could feel how loud life has been lately. Instead of showing up with a tidy bow and a perfect lesson, I let this be a real conversation between me and you. A place to breathe, to soften, and to tell the truth about what it feels like when your inner world is rearranging itself.Because today we are talking about falling apart, and why it might be the most honest thing your soul has ever done.I’m introducing you to a concept I just found this week and immediately knew I needed to bring to you: positive disintegration. The kind of breakdown that isn’t a failure, but a signal. A sign that the strategies you used to survive, the roles you learned to play, and the fantasies you clung to are no longer able to hold back what you already know in your bones. In other words, it’s not that you are breaking. It’s that your denial is breaking. And something truer is trying to come through.We talk about why our culture fears endings, grief, and death, and how that fear shows up psychologically when we’re in the crucible of change, especially when you’re considering divorce. I connect this to the life-death-life cycle, to the way nature does this without apologizing, and to the brutal tenderness of becoming. If you’ve been feeling heavy, depressed, anxious, or stuck, I want you to hear this clearly: those feelings do not automatically mean you’re doing it wrong. Sometimes they mean you’re finally doing it right.I also share one of my favorite images for this process: the butterfly becoming the goo. That disorienting, humiliating, sacred middle. The place where you cannot go back to who you were, but you cannot yet see who you’re becoming. If you’re there right now, you are not behind. You are not broken. You are in the chrysalis.And I bring in two powerful texts that help us name what we’re living: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Women Who Run with the Wolves. We talk about Skeleton Woman, Lady Death, and what it means to stop throwing the parts of ourselves we fear off the cliff. We talk about building a foundation that can hold you through the unraveling, not by rushing to fix the feelings, but by staying with yourself inside them.If you’re in that tender, terrifying season where everything you built your life on feels shaky, this episode is for you. It’s a reminder that the breakdown might not be the end of your story. It might be the beginning of your true self returning. 🤍Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackLive interview with Chandra Zas - Tuesday Feb 17th • 2pm PT, 4 pm CST, 5 pm EST(Use this link if the one above doesn’t work- https://youtube.com/live/2DiSl3ZyV3M)What happens when you stop overriding your body… and start listening instead?In this live conversation, Britta interviews Chandra on Chapter 0 of Handbook for Human Potential — a chapter that opens the doorway to body wisdom, emotional truth, and coming home to yourself.Join our book newsletter to stay in the loop: https://handbookforhumanpotential.comAnd buy the book if you haven’t yet! Handbook for Human Potential by Chandra Zas, Britta Jo and othershttps://Chandrazas.comSuggested prep for next episode: Read Chandra’s chapter 0 - “Come Home to Your Body Wisdom”Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. GibsonWomen Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola EstésFrom Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin DoughtyConsidering Divorce? Understand the Life-Death-Life Cycle FirstText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook
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When Staying Costs More Than Leaving: The Hidden Price of Indecision With Demetria Graves
Feb 300:38:23Tap to summarizeEpisode 93: In this episode, I sit down with Demetria Graves, a certified family law specialist and founder of the Graves Law Firm, for a conversation I have wanted to have for a long time. Demetria has spent over two decades guiding families through divorce with clarity, integrity, and a deep respect for what this moment costs people emotionally and financially. Together, we pull back the curtain on what the legal system actually cares about and what it does not, and why so many women unknowingly pay a steep price for staying stuck in indecision.We talk candidly about the myths that keep women frozen. The belief that staying is safer. The hope that being patient or accommodating will somehow protect you. The assumption that the court will reward sacrifice or take emotional context into account. Demetria explains why none of that is true, and how time, lack of information, and emotional overwhelm can quietly work against women, especially high earners, stay at home mothers, and those who have stepped away from the workforce. This is a grounded, no nonsense look at how money, custody, support, and preparation really function behind the scenes.This episode is not about pushing anyone toward divorce. It is about telling the truth. The truth that divorce is a business process layered on top of one of the most emotional experiences of your life. The truth that clarity is power. And the truth that the longer you avoid looking at the facts, the more agency you often lose. If you are in the space of “I am not ready yet” or “I just need more time,” this conversation is an invitation to ask yourself what that time is truly costing you. 🤍Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackLegally Uncensored Podcast - Find Part 1 hereWhen Women Run The Firm: How to successfully launch and manage your law practice with confidence - Demetria GravesDemetria’s InstagramLegally Uncensored InstagramText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
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Your Soul Knows the Way—Even If You Can’t See It Yet
Jan 2700:15:51Tap to summarizeThis is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.comEpisode 92: This week, I’m inviting you into a quieter, more intimate conversation. After a month filled with heavier topics—ADHD, misogyny, and partner violence—I found myself needing to pause. This episode emerged from that space. There’s no outline, no script—just me, speaking from the heart.In it, I explore what it means to stay grounded as a deeply sensitive person in an increasingly fractured world. I reflect on a local production of Hadestown that unexpectedly cracked something open in me, illuminating the profound choice we face between fear and trust. We follow the tragic story of Orpheus and Eurydice, and what it reveals about how easily doubt can derail us—even when we are on the cusp of something beautiful.If you are navigating the unknown, especially in the realm of divorce or deep personal change, I believe you’ll resonate with this idea: that trusting your soul’s call, even when you can’t yet see where it leads, is itself the act of creating a new world. And that turning back, out of fear or uncertainty, is something we all understand—and still, we get to begin again.This episode is both a personal check-in and a wider call to all of us doing the brave work of building something new. Whether you’re in a place of exhaustion, reflection, or decision, I hope this conversation offers you a quiet companion on the path forward.Show NotesSubscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackQ&A with Anaïs Mitchell (writer & composer of Hadestown) and Rachel Chavkin (director of Hadestown)Hades TownJourney of Souls - Dr. Michael NewtonText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook
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You’re Not Alone: Misogyny, Violence, and Real-World Safety Tools
Jan 2000:30:01Tap to summarizeThis is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.comEpisode 91: This is one of the most important—and most difficult—episodes I’ve ever recorded.In it, I speak openly and directly about intimate partner violence, including heartbreaking local and national examples of the very real dangers women face when they decide to leave. This is not a conversation many of us were raised to have. I wasn’t. But after years of coaching women who are considering divorce, I know we cannot afford to keep looking away.Together, we unpack critical statistics that are too often hidden behind passive headlines. I share a deeply personal story of a woman in my community whose life was taken after she left a partner—and how her death, and others like it, must wake us up to what is truly at stake.I also walk you through warning signs, risk factors, and the psychological patterns that too many women have been taught to minimize. And most of all, I offer you something I wish every woman had: a third way. Not the false binary of stay and survive or leave and risk everything—but a path built on information, preparation, and connection.This episode is about reclaiming our safety. About standing shoulder to shoulder in the face of rising misogyny and systemic silence. About refusing to shrink or isolate, and instead learning how to call out the realities we live in—with clarity, courage, and love.If you’re not ready for this episode today, that’s okay. But I want you to know it’s here, whenever you are. And if you listen and this lands close to home, please know: you do not have to walk this alone.Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.)24/7 free and confidential support* Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233)* Text: START to 88788* Chat online: thehotline.orgThey can help you build a personalized safety plan — whether you’re still in the relationship, planning to leave, or already out and still feeling unsafe.DomesticShelters.org – Safety Planning GuideA detailed, step-by-step guide to help you prepare in a way that fits your unique situation.https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/comprehensive-guides/a-guide-to-domestic-violence-safety-planning?utm_sourceWomensLaw.org – Legal Safety PlanningIncludes emotional safety planning plus legal tips around custody, protection orders, and more.https://www.womenslaw.org/safety-planning?utm_sourceSafe Horizon – Understanding What Goes Into a Safety PlanLearn what to prepare and how to communicate your plan to trusted people.https://www.safehorizon.org/safety-plan/?utm_sourcehttps://www.southdenvertherapy.com/blog/domestic-violence-statistics?utm_source=chatgpt.comhttps://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/statistics/when-abuse-turns-deadly?utm_source=chatgpt.comYouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook
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When You’re the One Who’s "Hard to Love": ADHD, Labels, and Learning to See Yourself Differently
Jan 1300:30:06Tap to summarizeThis is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.comEpisode 90: In this second part of the series, I take you inside what has been one of the most tender, clarifying, and ultimately empowering chapters of my life: navigating an adult ADHD diagnosis, beginning medication, and reclaiming parts of myself I didn’t know I had lost.We start with a kind of radical idea—what if knowing yourself deeply, even when it’s painful, is the path to peace? In a time when there’s growing pushback against diagnosis and therapy language, I share a different perspective. One rooted in lived experience. One that says language doesn’t confine us, it frees us. Naming what lives inside us doesn’t shrink our potential, it releases shame.I talk openly about the emotional process of receiving an ADHD diagnosis and how it allowed me to trace patterns I had never been able to name—patterns that shaped my childhood, my relationship with my mother, my marriage, my nervous system. I share honestly about the grief that surfaced, the beliefs I had to examine, and why, at first, even with a prescription in hand, I couldn’t take the medication.But then life intervened. A mental and emotional breaking point became the catalyst for finally saying yes to deeper support. I walk you through the realities of what that looked like: the side effects, the scheduling, the slow and steady shifts that began to change everything. This episode holds nothing back. I talk about what has improved and what I miss. What has steadied and what has softened.And I name the truth that felt like a revelation—this diagnosis didn’t make me feel broken. It made me feel seen. It gave me a new story to tell about myself. One filled with compassion, understanding, and even awe.I also share the ten “superpowers” I now see in myself—traits I once judged that I now hold with reverence. Empathy. Intuition. Creativity. Justice sensitivity. Risk-taking. Drive. These parts of me didn’t begin with the diagnosis, but they have deepened in how I understand and honor them.This episode is for every woman who has ever feared that the real problem is her. Who has worried that even if she leaves, the same pain will follow. Who has wondered if she is just too much, too chaotic, too emotional, too different to be fully loved.I want you to know: there is nothing wrong with you. There are just things you may not yet understand. And when you find the language, the support, and the people who see you as whole and valuable exactly as you are—everything can change.Whether or not you have ADHD, whether or not you are considering medication, this conversation is about something much bigger. It is about returning to yourself with clarity, with curiosity, and with love. It is about finally naming the truth: that the answers were never out there. They have always been within you.Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackAndrea Andes - Therapist A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD - Sari Solden and Michelle FrankADHD for Smart Ass Women - Tracy OtsukaComplex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving - Pete WalkerText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook
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Considering Divorce? Your Check Engine Light Is ON: Don’t Wait for the Breakdown
Aug 1201:37:54Tap to summarizeEpisode 70: Hey babe 💛—whether you’re out walking, driving, curled up in bed, this one’s for you.In this week’s episode, I’m sharing the story of my own “roadside test” last week—when my middle son broke his arm at football practice—and the big wake-up it gave me about what happens when we ignore the check engine lights in our lives. 🚨 From cars to life to marriages, those little warning lights are trying to tell us something… and pretending they’re not there doesn’t make them go away.We’re talking:💪 Why it’s time to stop waiting for the breakdown before we take action.👩🔧 The four truths that came out of my own roadside test (and how they’ll help you avoid your own desert breakdown).💔 How fear keeps us stuck—and why nobody is coming to turn off that light for you.🌍 Why today’s political and cultural climate makes this work more important than ever.💖 How to create a life (and relationships) that feel steady, supported, and ready for whatever detours lie ahead.This is part rallying cry, part heart-to-heart, and part practical “get under the hood” moment. You’ll walk away with a loving push to handle what’s asking for your attention—so that when life throws the next roadside test at you, you’re not running on fumes.So, deep breath, big girl panties (or not—your choice, babe 😏), and let’s get into it. You’ve got this. 💛Show Notes:Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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