Podcast
The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce
Hosted by Britta Jo · EN
Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future.
stayorgogocoaching.com
40episodes
Episodes
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Why You Give Grace to Everyone but Yourself & the Mindset Shift from Expectation to Exploration
Aug 5, 202501:20:28Tap to summarizeEpisode 69: Hey, my loves! 💕 This week’s episode emerged from a comment shared with me by one of my community members and I cannot wait for you to dive into the goodies that came out of it with me. We’re talking about something BIG—moving from an expectation mindset (hello control + perfectionism 👋) into an exploration mindset that gives you SPACE to breathe, play, and actually be human. 🌱So many of us, especially as women, are living under crushing double standards. We give everyone else so much grace—our kids, our partners, even strangers—yet hold ourselves to impossibly high bars. And when we dig deeper, we see how this is rooted in childhood trauma, cultural programming, and patriarchal BS. 🙅♀️I’m going to share: ✅ Where this pattern of perfectionism and self-abandonment comes from. ✅ How to spot when you’re living from expectation instead of exploration. ✅ Why an exploratory mindset is your birthright (and how it changes EVERYTHING). ✅ What this looks like inside real relationships—and what to do if your marriage doesn’t allow room for exploration.This episode is part pep talk, part permission slip, and 100% your reminder that you were never meant to be perfect—you were meant to BECOME. 💫Grab your headphones, take a deep breath, and let’s reclaim that juicy, curious, messy, ALIVE version of you. You deserve this. ❤️Show Notes:The Man Music Video - Taylor SwiftEjaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion - Gabrielle Stanley BlairThe Crane Wife - CJ Hauser The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane WardNonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships - Marshall B. Rosenberg PhDText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned: How to Detox From Your Favorite Drug: Control
Jul 29, 202501:09:08Tap to summarizeEpisode 68: Hello, my loves! 💕 This week, I’m coming to you straight from the messy middle—yep, that foggy, disorienting space where life says, “LOL, nope!” to all your perfectly laid plans. 😅If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “How the hell did I end up here?” or if you’re navigating the collapsing scaffolding of a life you thought was secure (hello, divorce consideration crew 🙋♀️), this episode is for YOU.We’re talking about: 🌪️ What happens when control—our favorite coping mechanism—is ripped away 💔 How to handle the self-judgment spiral (that “Why wasn’t I enough?” soundtrack) ✨ Why letting go is not punishment, but a sacred breakdown leading to something better 🌀 How life’s growth comes in cycles—like a spiral staircase 🧘 Practical ways to build trust with yourself (and why that’s the ultimate antidote to control)I’m sharing my own real-time journey of uncertainty, grief, and yes… hope. 💫 If you’re in the in-between right now, feeling like you’re free-falling without a net, please know you are not alone. There is refuge. There is magic ahead. And spoiler alert: the magic always comes when we lean into trust. 💖Take a deep breath with me. You are safe in this moment. Let’s walk this unknown road together. 🌈Show Notes:K-Pop Demon HuntersJungian Dream Interpreter GPTText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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Permission to Be in Process
Jul 22, 202500:13:29Tap to summarizeEpisode 67: Hey loves 💗,This week’s episode is a little different—short, unfiltered, and deeply vulnerable. I hit record right in the middle of my own "tower moment" (yep, for my tarot friends out there, that card 🌩️), where everything feels like it’s crumbling... and I’m letting it.Instead of packaging my process into a neatly wrapped episode with clear takeaways, I’m inviting you into the middle of the mess with me. This is me practicing what I preach—laying down the role of the “one who always holds it together” and learning to surrender to what I can’t control 😮💨💔.If you’re also in a season of uncertainty, fear, or raw transformation, I hope this gives you permission to breathe, to stop fixing, and to just be where you are. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is admit we’re not okay... and trust that it’s still enough 💞.I love you all so much. Thanks for being part of this sacred space. May you feel seen, held, and deeply worthy—even in the mess.xo,Britta 💕✨Show Notes:Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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"The Cost of the Lie": Why You Feel Numb, Lonely, and Like You’re Too Much in This System With Quinn Otrera - Part 2
Jul 15, 202501:45:21Tap to summarizeEpisode 66: This episode is raw, real, and liberating. Quinn and I dive deep into the second part of Jane Ward’s The Tragedy of Heterosexuality, unpacking what it means to live inside a system that was never built for our wholeness.We explore the emotional and erotic numbness so many women feel in straight relationships—and how it’s not your fault. We talk about internalized misogyny, performative sex, the quiet tragedy of disconnection, and the deep grief (and power) in waking up 💥.But this isn’t about blame—it’s about the system. We name the ways patriarchy hurts men too, and what’s possible when we let go of scripts, center real pleasure, and build relationships and communities rooted in emotional honesty, mutuality, and freedom 🌈.We also share four “exit ramps” from the system: 1️⃣ Name it 2️⃣ Learn nonviolent communication 3️⃣ Let go of the roles 4️⃣ Rebuild true communityWhether you're staying, going, or somewhere in between, this conversation will meet you there—with clarity, compassion, and hope. You’re not broken. You’re not alone. And there is another way 💗Show NotesThe Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane WardTo Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar Trailer"The Men Are Not All Right"...Right? - Diabolical Lies PodcastThink Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know - Adam GrantQuinn's Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.comText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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“What You Were Promised” — The History and Hidden Design of Straight Marriage With Quinn Otrera - Part 1
Jul 8, 202501:48:54Tap to summarizeEpisode 65: This week’s episode is a massive eye-opener, y’all. 🤯 Quinn and I dive deep into The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward, and let me just say—holy 💩, our minds were blown. We unpack the historical roots of heterosexual marriage and how it was never designed with women’s joy, freedom, or wellbeing in mind. From patriarchy and white supremacy to eugenics and post-WWII propaganda, we trace how systems were built to serve capitalism—not connection—and how they continue to shape modern relationships, sex, and gender roles. 😤💔We expose the heterosexual “repair industry”—a self-help movement that gaslit women into believing they were the problem when marriages didn’t work. We name how religion, media, and even love stories sold us on performance over partnership, submission over selfhood, and how even “woke” men today are still often performing feminism while propping up patriarchy. 🧠🔥And most importantly, we ask: what if the real work isn’t about becoming “better wives”? What if it’s about shedding the programming and finally becoming more of who we truly are? 🦋We share personal stories, Mormon roots, and what it means to courageously wake up and refuse to play a game that was never meant for our thriving. This is the beginning of liberation—and if you’ve ever felt like something’s off, like you’re not crazy but finally waking up… this one’s for you. ❤️🔥Show Notes:The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane WardWould love to know if we missed anything or what you thought!My email: decide@stayorgocoaching.comQuinn's Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.comText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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The Shift List: Where to Start if You Want to Stay - Part 2
Jul 1, 202501:15:07Tap to summarizeEpisode 64: Okay y'all, this one’s for the women leaning toward staying—but not the old way. In this episode, I share the rest of the 7 powerful shifts that can transform your marriage into one built on truth, safety, and mutual thriving 💫💥We cover everything from the myth of “two halves make a whole” 🙅♀️ to rewriting your marriage rule book 📖, and even how separation can be a healing tool—not a failure. Plus, I’m spilling the tea on my recent astrology + GPT obsession (you’ll want to try this!) 🪐✨If you’re wondering whether staying is right for you, this episode is your map. Bring your journal and let’s go deep 💗Show Notes:Astrology GPT Questions to Ask:Can you please tell me about my life purpose?Please tell me more about my career and vocation insights.Let’s discuss my relationship patterns and soulmate indicators.Tell me about my emotional needs and inner healing please.Can you please show how my Part of Fortune and Black Moon Lilith add more depth to my emotional healing?Can you explore how these connect to my love life and even my soulmate contracts?Is there anything in my chart that gives deeper insight into sexuality?Please explain and explore my tantric blueprint?Resources Mentioned in the Episode:Attached - Amir LevineComplex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving - Pete WalkerAdult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. GibsonNo Bad Parts - Dr. Richard SchwartzWant Match - Life Coach School PodcastThe Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment - Jack MorinExistential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power - Carolyn Elliott PhDCome as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life - Emily Nagoski Ph.DText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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Rewriting the Marriage Rules: When Staying Becomes a Conscious Decision: Part 1
Jun 24, 202500:51:55Tap to summarizeOhhh my GODDESS, y’all! 🌞🔥 Is it just me, or is summer turning up the heat in all the best ways?! This week, we’re making a juicy pivot from covert narcissism (y’all blew me away with your responses, thank you 🙏) to something that’s been simmering in the background for a long time... STAYING. Yup. This one is for all my stay-girlies 💖.And hold UP—did Mayim Bialik really email me?! 😱 Y’all. Not only did she reach out with the kindest words, but she also shared that my episode from her podcast made it into a convo on “Hey Dude... The 90s Called”! I legit screamed. Like... WHAT. 🥹✨But let’s talk staying in a marriage—not by default, but by radical, empowered CHOICE. 🧠💥 I am breaking down the types of staying (strategic stay, anyone? 👀), giving all the love and support to those of you on that path, and introducing what I adorably named, the “Shift List”—seven areas you and your partner need to work on to rewrite the marriage rules and create something NEW.We’re diving deep into what it really takes to stay on purpose—not from fear or guilt, but from truth and transformation. 💪💫 And I’m spilling the tea on why regulated communication is a non-negotiable foundation. Spoiler alert: Nonviolent communication is changing lives in our summer camp right now, and I want you IN on it. 📚🧘♀️🗣️So buckle up, babe. Whether you’re stay-curious or actively rewriting the rules in your marriage, this episode is your map, your mirror, and your mega dose of love 💌. And next week—part two is coming in HOT. Let’s go. 💃🔥Show Notes:Think Yourself Into A Positive Mood - with Mayim Bialik - Hey Dude... The 90's Called! - AppleThink Yourself Into A Positive Mood - with Mayim Bialik - Hey Dude... The 90's Called! - SpotifyNonviolent Communication: A Language of Life - Marshall B. Rosenberg PhDBrene Brown: The Call to CourageText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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Unmasking Covert Narcissism: Part 2
Jun 17, 202501:33:48Tap to summarizeIn this second deep-dive into covert narcissism, I unpack the remaining techniques and traits that make this kind of abuse so uniquely painful… and so hard to name. From gaslighting and emotional blackmail to the crazy room and love bombing, I break it all down—raw, unfiltered, and straight from lived experience 💔.I’m not holding anything back in this episode. I share real-life stories—mine and others’—about being trapped in the invisible cages built by covert narcissists. I talk about what it costs us, what it steals from us, and how easy it is to believe you’re the problem when you’re just trying to survive. And I get really honest about the shame, confusion, and grief that come with realizing someone you love is emotionally harming you 🧠😔.But I also bring the hope 🌱. I walk you through the 10 tangible steps you can take to start healing, reclaim your voice, and ground back into your own reality. If you’re in it, if you’ve lived it, or if you’re afraid to say the words out loud—this episode is for you. You are not alone, and there is a way out. 🦋Show Notes:The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor D. PaysonAdult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. GibsonDisentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay C. GibsonWomen Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype - Clarissa Pinkola EstésLive Awake Podcast - Sarah BlondinTo book a 90-Minute Session text 90MIN to 33777Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the communityFor the free tarot guide using ChatGPT text EMAILME to 33777Support the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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You Might Be Married to a Covert Narcissist (and Not Know It): Part 1
Jun 10, 202501:24:58Tap to summarizeEpisode 61: This one’s been a long time coming, y’all. I can feel it in my bones—this is some of the work I’m most proud to bring into the world. In this two-part series (yep, there’s more coming next week!), I’m diving deep into covert narcissism—what it is, how it operates, and how it might be silently shaping your relationship.This week, we’re laying down the foundation: I’m sharing the two core identifiers I use to spot covert narcissistic abuse and walking you through the first 7 of 14 psychological techniques covert narcissists use to maintain control. These aren’t just concepts—I’m pulling from personal experiences, years of coaching, and gut-wrenching stories from brave women navigating this exact terrain.We’re going to explore what makes covert narcissism so sneaky and so damaging, why it's so often misunderstood, and most importantly, how you can begin to make sense of what’s been happening to you 💔🧠.If you’ve ever felt like you were “crazy,” like you couldn't quite explain the emotional whiplash you’ve been living through, this episode is for you. 🧩✨And remember—just because your partner might not be diagnosable doesn’t mean the impact isn’t real. The confusion, the guilt, the feeling of being emotionally obliterated—it’s not in your head. You are not alone.At the end of the episode, I share a book that cracked open my own understanding and a way to work with me directly if this is landing deeply and you need more support. 📚🤝Let’s get into it. This is a clarion call. 💥Show Notes:The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor D. PaysonTo book a 90-Minute Session text 90MIN to 33777Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the communityFor the free tarot guide using ChatGPT text EMAILME to 33777Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. GibsonDisentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay C. GibsonSupport the showYouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook
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The Dream You Inherited vs. The Dream You Create
Feb 25, 2025Tap to summarize#46: Ever feel like you’re living a life that doesn’t actually feel like yours? Like maybe the decisions you’ve made—your marriage, your career, your whole damn life—were handed to you rather than chosen by you? If so, you’re not alone, and this episode is exactly for you. 💡Today, I’m diving deep into The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz and unpacking the life-changing concept that so much of what we believe about ourselves isn’t even ours. We’ve been programmed—from childhood, from culture, from religion—to follow a script we never agreed to. And when we start to question it? That’s when the real magic happens. ✨We’re talking: 🔥 The lies you’ve been taught that keep you stuck in your marriage (and in life)🔥 How to tell the difference between your truth and someone else’s programming🔥 The power of dismantling those old beliefs so you can rewrite your story🔥 How listening to your body (not just your brain) is the key to breaking freeAnd yes, I’m getting vulnerable as hell about my own journey—how my political and personal evolution has changed everything about how I show up in the world. Next week, I’ll be sharing an episode that dives even deeper into that transformation in honor of the protests happening on March 4th.So, if you’ve ever felt like you’re at war with yourself, if your inner voice is screaming that something isn’t right, or if you just need to hear that you are not crazy for wanting more, then hit play, my love. This episode is for you. 💛P.S. If this episode speaks to you, share it with another woman in your life who might be feeling stuck in someone else’s dream. And if you haven’t yet, hit that subscribe button and drop a review—it helps so much! 🎧💖Show Notes:March 4th Protest50501 ProtestDon't Believe Him - The Ezra Klein ShowEzra Klein - NYT Opinion The Voice of Knowledge - Don Miguel RuizStay or Go CommunityWork with MeInstagram Facebook
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