Comedic Legend Bill Burr Part One (SAS CLASSIC)

Summary

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The Steve Austin Show: Comedic Legend Bill Burr Part One (SAS Classic)

Host: Steve Austin | Guest: Bill Burr
Date: April 22, 2025 | PodcastOne

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Episode Overview

In this lively, unfiltered exchange, wrestling icon Steve Austin sits down with acclaimed comedian Bill Burr for a freewheeling conversation at Austin's famed "316 Gimmick Street." The episode delves into Bill’s early career, the realities of stand-up comedy, parallels with professional wrestling, the influence of childhood and family, handling failure, and the art of reading a crowd. Throughout, both men riff, reminisce, and bust each other’s balls with signature wit.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Comedians in Cars (and Wrestling Legends Who Love Cars)

• Bill arrives in his well-worn Toyota Prius
  • Steve jokes about the Prius’s reputation and his own car quirks, offering Bill a deal on his Ford Focus.
  • Memorable quote:

    "When that thing needs to be washed, I could literally leave that car in the middle of a riot running, and no one would take it." —Bill Burr [04:17]

• Discussion segues into the practicality of Toyotas and the grief of car breakdowns from family deals.
• Bill reveals he's soon getting a “nice car” and dreads inevitable dings from careless drivers.

2. The Perils and Skepticism of New Technology

• Self-driving cars vs. control freaks (both admit to wanting to hold the wheel)
  • Bill’s skepticism about Teslas and their environmental impact; relays anecdotes about auto-pilot mishaps.
    • Memorable quote:

      “I think technology was fine right up till 1995. Somewhere in the 90s we had it. Right.” —Bill Burr [09:49]

• Both distrust technology beyond GPS navigation and resent “subversive feminism” of female-voiced navigation.

3. Books, ADD, and the Trouble with Reading

• Steve and Bill commiserate about struggling with traditional reading.
  • Bill: "It takes me like an hour to read five pages because every word reminds me I have ADD." [10:21]
• Both attest to excelling when interested (e.g., musical or wrestling biographies).

4. Upbringing in Boston: Big Families and Big Characters

• Bill details growing up as one of five brothers in Boston’s rough-and-tumble suburbs.
• Stories of sibling fights, household punishments (brushes, wooden spoons), and wild relatives.
  • Bill: "My parents, the rule was: don’t hit each other in the face... hit each other from here to here. That was considered working it out amongst yourselves." [21:01]

5. The Wrestling Connection: From Childhood Fandom to Adult Appreciation

• Bill passionately recalls being a dedicated wrestling fan from 1978 to early 1990s, missing the Attitude Era due to stand-up grind.
• Reveres the comedic genius of iconic wrestling characters, especially Ric Flair and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.
  • Weekly ritual: watching wrestling with fellow comics and Patrice O’Neal via speakerphone.
    • Bill: "We would sit in the living room on his pullout bed... just waiting to hear what you guys were going to say and all the different storylines and stuff. It was great, man." [13:13]
• Both reflect on the physical pain behind pro wrestling and the brilliance in simplicity (Hogan’s leg drop, Austin’s stunner).

6. Shared Pain: Wrestling Moves at Home

• Bill and Steve reminisce about injuring themselves (and siblings) mimicking wrestling moves as kids.
  • Figure-four leglocks, airplane spins, and lessons on reversing the pain (from Steve: "You roll over, you reverse the pressure," [18:55]).
  • Bill: "Really, when I do it, I still get hurt, so..." [18:18]

7. Comedy Beginnings: Deciding to "Turn Pro"

• Bill’s stand-up origin story: enters a college comedy contest at Nick’s Comedy Stop after impulsively seeing an ad.
  • Bill: "You just get thrown in the deep end... I called the number before I chickened out." [24:33]
• Early struggle: learning to artificially create and structure jokes — the hardest adjustment when coming from being funny in conversation.

8. The Art of Paying Dues

• Brutal early gigs, bombing, not getting paid, traveling long distances for five-minute sets.
  • "I got paid $5 in gas money and it blew my mind." [29:06]
• Working dental office day jobs for his dad, dreams of quitting “incrementally.”
• The “incremental” nature of the comedy grind: host > feature > headliner; each small breakthrough was a milestone.
• Music as solace: Bill daydreamed about being a musician during long solo drives.

9. Building a Set and Working the Crowd

• Parallels between match structure in wrestling and building a stand-up act.
• Bill’s set process: loose structure; knows opener and closer but thrives on presence and improvisation.
  • "If you’re thinking, you’re stinking." —Zakk Wylde, quoted by Steve & echoed by Bill [41:06]
• Diagrams learning to build audience energy, pacing, and not following high-energy acts by starting “at 11” (lesson from senior comics).

10. Bombing, Resilience, and Coming Back

• Both share stories of coming off high-profile work, then tanking with indifferent or hostile crowds.
  • Bill’s worst: L.A. bar show while prepping for Letterman, heckler at a Queens of the Stone Age gig, outdoor shows opening for Wynonna Judd [50:36-53:45].
    • Bill: “I ate my balls. And then, I just abandoned my TV set and…tried to turn it around by giving shit about the Lakers… and they just ignored me.” [50:36]
• Both agree you never fully outgrow the possibility of bombing—it just gets easier to handle or laugh about.
• Steve: “If you lose your swagger, it’s over. I mean, you ain’t got it no more.” [55:20]

11. Failures and Career Rebounds

• Bill recounts failing to break into L.A. in ‘96, losing agents and stage time; returns to New York solely focused on “getting so funny they have to book me.”
  • “That was the only game plan I had. I went back… and just did a zillion shows… and then one day, I don’t know, come out the other side.” [55:46-58:07]
• Key breaks: Chappelle’s Show, HBO, Opie & Anthony, “Breaking Bad,” and Netflix—all gradual, cumulative steps.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On the Prius’s virtues:
  “I could literally leave that car in the middle of a riot running, and no one would take it.” —Bill Burr [04:17]
• On the comedy grind:
  “The first 10, 20 times you do it, all it has to do with is when they call your name, having the balls to go back up there.” —Bill Burr [26:45]
• On the trauma of childhood fights:
  “My parents, the rule was: don’t hit each other in the face. Hit each other from here to here. That was considered working it out amongst yourselves.” —Bill Burr [21:01]
• On reading a crowd:
  "You do it long enough… it’s a big noise you’re controlling. Then you got to know when to bring them up, when to bring them down." —Bill Burr [42:22]
• On failing in L.A.:
  “I just was not booking anything and I couldn’t get stage time. Once you’re the new guy and then nothing happens… you’re out.” —Bill Burr [55:46]
• On never losing that post-set anxiety:
  “You’re always hanging on that last performance…I mean, rocked 'em—you’re on cloud nine…you go out there and just lay a big pile of shit, nobody gives a fuck.” —Steve Austin [54:28]

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Essential Segment Timestamps

• Prius banter & car stories: [01:54–04:21]
• Technology, ADD, and navigation: [06:29–10:39]
• Bill’s Boston upbringing: [21:05–24:33]
• Wrestling fandom & childhood injuries: [12:21–19:03], [16:14–19:03]
• First stand-up experiences: [24:33–29:06]
• Building a comedic act & handling crowds: [33:29–38:39], [41:06–47:02]
• Career lows & resilience: [50:36–58:07]

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is warm, unscripted, and consistently funny—filled with inside jokes, mutual admiration, and colorful curses. Both men are candid about struggles, proud of hard-earned wisdom, and quick to steer a story into a punchline. The exchanges flow naturally, blending Bill Burr’s self-deprecation with Austin’s working-class bluntness.

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For New Listeners

This episode delivers a behind-the-scenes look at two showbiz icons—one from sports entertainment, the other from stand-up—finding common ground in passion, persistence, the agony of bombing, and the thrill of making a crowd erupt. Whether you’re a wrestling fanatic, a comedy nerd, or simply someone who’s ever failed big and tried again, this is essential, entertaining listening.

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Transcript

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[Bill Burr]

The following program is a podcast1.com production from Hollywood, California. By way of the Broken Skull Ranch. This is the Steve Austin Show.

[Steve Austin]

Give me a Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Now here's Steve Austin sitting here with.

[Steve Austin]

Bill Burr, one of the funniest guys I've ever seen on YouTube. And finally he's here in person at 316 Gimmick Street. The guy was kind enough to drive across Los Angeles in his Toyota Prius on a Saturday afternoon. Welcome to my house. Thank you for coming over.

[Bill Burr]

Thank you for having me. God, you immediately broke my balls the second I pulled up. I knew I was going to get shit for that going over to Stone Cold's place. You know, nine year old dented Prius. At least I got it washed before I came here.

[Steve Austin]

People, people on my show been listening to me knock the Toyota Prius for years. And just because it wasn't really so much the car, because the car is a very unique piece of mechanical engineering. It's engineering, it's. Well, it's badass, you know, the technology behind it. And and here's the thing, I'm such a car freak. It's like the Crown Victoria, which is what? You know, you've been to New York City, you're from Boston, you know, basically all the cabs were, you know, Crown Vicks, Crown Vicks, or all of the Lincoln Town Cars, same thing. All those cars, 300,000 miles, 400,000 miles, they last forever, right? And so when I get in these Toyota Priuses, the thing about it, when you get into a cab, those Crown Vicks, the legroom in the back is for shit. All of a sudden, when these Toyota Priuses started coming into vogue and they started putting the taxi signs on them, you get to the back of those things, you've got twice as much room as Crown Vic. So I started loving the Toyota Prius from that aspect, right? And then the other day I bought this Ford Focus that I showed you out there on my curb, right? I'm gonna make you a sweet deal before this podcast is over.

[Bill Burr]

You just bought that?

[Steve Austin]

I just bought that.

[Bill Burr]

And you're already, and you're already trying to get rid of it. Well, it's because you tried to sell it to me on the phone ride over here. And when I pulled up, you're like, hey, nice to see you, Bill. I want to show you this, this fucking pea soup green.

[Steve Austin]

It's metallic pee, Bill.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, sorry.

[Steve Austin]

I'm gonna make you a sweet deal on this car, all right. But I was, I was on my way over to the pick up my Ford Focus at the dealership because I bought it from my mother in law. I figured I was doing the right thing. She decided to sell it. We kind of settled at a price. It was low retail, high trade in, so it was a fair deal for both of us. And then the repair bill came in and the brakes were squeaking. All kinds of bullshit, you know, put it in the shop and the repair bill costs more than I paid for the son of a bitch.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah, that's why you don't buy off a relative.

[Steve Austin]

But so, well, anyway, now you're gonna.

[Bill Burr]

Give her a dirty look during the holidays.

[Steve Austin]

God damn it. I got taken to cleaning by my mother in law, Bill. I know the same. As soon as I drove off, she was just laughing her head and shaking her head at me. I got that big motherfucker. I got him. But I was in, I was in the Prius going to the Ford dealership. I started talking to the cab driver, dude, how's this thing on repairs never needs a repair. It had 200 some thousand miles on it, still going strong. So I respect the Toyota Prius.

[Bill Burr]

No, it's a Toyota. If you change the oil every couple thousand miles, it's gonna last. I mean, technically, every car should never die if it's made right. I mean, the engine block's made out of steel. All you gotta do is just. Just change all the fluids and not drive like an asshole. I mean, it should last forever, but people don't. They drive around with the fluid's too low, they beat the shit out of it, you know, and then they. Then they think they need something new. I love it, dude. I'm telling you right now, that car, you know, I just got it washed, so it's looking halfway decent. But when that thing needs to be washed, I could literally leave that car in the middle of a riot running, and no one would take it. They might throw a rock through it or whatever, but I can come out. That's what I love about that car is I can take it anywhere and it always runs and it gets great gas mileage, and I don't give a shit, but when people open their door into it. So I am finally getting a nice car, though. I am. I ordered a. I got a car coming, but it's not getting hit till October. And that's going to kill me when some asshole just opens their door into a car.

[Steve Austin]

But that's. That's a new car blues. When you get that new car, you know, it's just gotten you. It's like getting a new pair of tennis shoes. You're going to scuff those things sooner or later.

[Bill Burr]

Except it cost you 50 grand. Yeah, a little bit different.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. So when you bought the Prius, what was the inspiration behind that? I mean, because what were you. What were your other options?

[Bill Burr]

This was the. My inspiration was that I was already doing enough damage. I put my own hole in the ozone layer flying every other weekend or whatever. So I was just like, all right. And like, the air quality out here is not great, and you can't really go that fast and just. I don't know. And I don't know. I just. I knew it was a Toyota. I don't know why I bought it. I just. I think back then I was really into the whole, let me try to, you know, do something positive for the environment, which I still try to do. But there's just. Until they deal with the population program problem, no matter what you do. I even think, like, these Teslas, what I want to hear is when they get rid of the battery, what does that do what? Is that worse for the environment now? You know that's going to come out and the gas combustion engine guys are going to, you know, fund the study for that.

[Steve Austin]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

What about that dude who put it on autopilot and got himself killed?

[Steve Austin]

No, I didn't hear about that.

[Bill Burr]

Well, these kids were putting up videos. I saw one where they had the self drive option on the thing and they literally took a nap. They're going down the highway and they wake up, they're like, oh, there's like an hour of the trip gone. And I was just like, I would never have the courage to do that. So some poor bastard was making those, those kinds of videos and what happened was whatever, he was asleep but not paying attention. I don't know what was going on. But it, the sun was shine in there was a giant, you know, 18 wheeler that was all white. It didn't read it properly. It read it as a daylight and just, just drove right underneath the thing or something. Now granted, I'm telling you, like 20 people told me this. I've never looked at any video or read anything about it. So I'm just paraphrasing what they say, which is what I do. I'm not a big reader. I don't even like watching videos. Like if whatever you tell me in the hour or whatever, I'm going to take his law.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, but see, I'm gonna repeat. But here's the thing, Bill. Whatever technology is, they've been talking about these cars that drive themselves. And dude, at 51 you're clipping in here. 48.

[Bill Burr]

48. Just turned 48.

[Steve Austin]

Just turned 48. So you knew it.

[Bill Burr]

The odometer just flipped.

[Steve Austin]

Just flipped. But man, I've been around long enough that, you know, I'm pretty skeptical. I dig technology, but I, I used to spend my life on the road. For 15 years I've driven all over the United States of America. We go to foreign countries, we get on buses because, because the driving laws are all up over and you're driving the wrong road and you don't know where the you're going. But over here, Rick Roode. Ravishing Rick Rood. Are you a wrestling fan?

[Bill Burr]

Big time.

[Steve Austin]

So Ravishing Rick Rude. We should say, God damn it, Steve, arrive alive. So that's. We always try to get to the places safe and sound and perform in front of the people, put on a goddamn good show and get on to the next rodeo. So I ain't gonna trust no machine to guide me because I was real picky. About who I would let drive the car. Like Mick Foley. Love the guy to death. Don't let him drive. Diamond Dallas page, one of my best friends. Don't let him drive. Fucking Jersey guy.

[Bill Burr]

No, because they drive too aggressively. Or this just Mick and I love.

[Steve Austin]

He's one of my best friends, but.

[Bill Burr]

Having said that, just, just.

[Steve Austin]

You just don't trust him behind a wheel. I don't know if he is distracted. He's one of the smarter guys in the business. If I was one of the good opinion, I'd go to Mick Foley. Kevin Nash, goodwill man. Badass Billy Gunn, goodwill man. Okay. All of a sudden you got the Tesla. You dial in, hey, here's your. I'm going to trust this GPS system. Because when I moved to la, I remember I had the Garmin thing they used to put on my windshield and Garmin would be telling me where to go. So they've advanced whatever the GPS thing is to drive his car. I ain't trusting that motherfucker to get me where I'm going. I got to have the steering wheel in my hands, Bill. Maybe it's a control issue, but like, it's like when you. When you punch in the direction on your iPhone and Siri is telling me where to go and what to turn on, I can dig that. She get me there, but I'm. I got the steering wheel in my.

[Bill Burr]

Hand, so I had to switch it to a guy's voice.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, so you didn't like the girl telling you what to do?

[Bill Burr]

Because I thought that was some subversive feminism shit for me to get used to taking orders from a woman. I didn't like it turn. I used to. I used to find myself fighting it, like, skipping streets and everything every once in a while, just be like, you know, just to keep it even. So now it's just like a guy's voice and I don't have that. I got major, like, control issues too, when, when it comes to stuff. And I don't. I don't like. I like, I like. I think technology was fine right up till 1995. Somewhere in the 90s we had it. Right.

[Steve Austin]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

And then that's it. Okay. And, you know, I know there's advances in medical and that type of stuff over the last, whatever, 20 years or so, but, like, it's not in the long run. Overall, it's not helping everybody. You know, we're just living too long. People gotta die. People gotta get out of the. Whatever, whatever the magic number is of human beings that can be on the Planet.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like, I think we're over it by a good, I don't know, 4 or 5 billion. Yeah, it's got to be.

[Steve Austin]

Or you said you don't like to read or you don't read much.

[Bill Burr]

I'm not good at it. It takes me like an hour to read, like, five pages because every word reminds me I have add. So I just start thinking about stuff, and I'll just go on some journey in my head as I continue, like, reading but not retaining anything. And then I'm like, what the just happened? How am I on page 30? That's basically.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, because you don't remember the first 29. That's the same thing I do.

[Bill Burr]

There's some shit that I like. I like to read. If it's like, I'm good about autobiographies. Like, you got all this, you know, the Stevie Ray Vaughan stuff. Like, I. Any stuff on him. I would be totally focused riveted reading that. But if it was like, you know, back in the day, if I had like a book report and they just said, read this fucking book, I'd just be like, yeah, I hated it. Absolutely hated it. So I was good at screwing around in class and somehow I turned that into a living.

[Steve Austin]

Hey, did you. God dang. You went to college, right?

[Bill Burr]

I went to a bunch of colleges.

[Steve Austin]

But you got a degree. You got a degree in what?

[Bill Burr]

Communications.

[Steve Austin]

What do they teach you in communication? Because obviously you're great at it. You want the funniest cats that goes around doing stand up.

[Bill Burr]

I. I don't remember. It was a fun. Like, I finished at Emerson. I went to, like, two other ones, was accepted to another one, and I just. By the time I was like 22, 23, I was still a freshman. I was going part time. I had to pay for it myself, you know, working my way through college and stuff. And I don't remember, I went to that school and I finally just. It was like a performance school and shit. I could do stuff on the radio. But I wanted to ask you just as far as being a wrestling fan. I mean, you asked me when I was, was I a wrestling fan? I watched it hardcore from like 78 to right up early 90s, right when I started watch. Started doing stand up. And then, like, I missed everything because when you guys were on, you know, the big stuff, I was. I was out doing stand up. So I miss, like, all of Seinfeld. Like, I didn't see any of that until it went into reruns. I missed a bunch of sports in the 90s and all that. And I remember in the late 90s, the late great Patrice O'. Neill.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And he's the great him and Mitch Hedberg to me with it in David, like, yeah, when people always say like, man, you like the funniest guy out there, it's like, yeah, because like the top five guys aren't, aren't here anymore. If they were back, you know, I'd be featuring at an improv. So in the late 90s, I was living with another comic, Robert Kelly, and him and Patrice were really into wrestling. And that's when, when you and the Rock brought it back. And like all of what I've always admired about all you guys because I never understood the amount of pain you were going through was how goddamn funny all the characters were. And I mean all the way from like, you know, Captain lou Albano to Mr. Wonderful, you know, Rowdy Piper, all of these guys. I used to watch all of those guys just laugh my ass off watching them. And then when you guys came along, you guys took it to a whole other level. And I always felt you guys were like prolific. Like each week when you thought you had all your guys catchphrases down, you came up with new stuff. And we used to, me and Bobby would watch it and we'd have Patrice on speakerphone. He was living in New Jersey and me and Bobby were living in like this walk through bedroom apartment and we would sit in the living room on his pull out bed. Obviously he, you know, fold the thing up during the day and we'd watch it on this little kitchen TV and just waiting to hear what you guys were going to say and all the different storylines and stuff. It was great, man.

[Steve Austin]

You know, I had so much fun doing that shit. And finally I had to ride off into the sunset with injuries and stuff like that. And so although it's, it is entertainment, it's a rough ride in there, or can be.

[Bill Burr]

The best thing that happened was once they just said this is sports entertainment, then you guys could actually talk about the real pain that, you know, people just look because what they were thinking, ah, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's worked out, it's fake or whatever. But it's like, dude, that guy still has to take a chair to the head at like whatever 3/4 speed. Do you want to do that? Or jump off a top rope and land or get slammed on your back Like I couldn't believe what. I saw Hulk Hogan one time. So first time I saw him was in the airport. And then I saw him when he did the. The Opie and Anthony show. And I remember going like, man, I thought he was tall. I thought he was like 6 foot 7. But like, his arms hung way down to, like, his knees. And he said, I used to be 6 foot 7. But after all those years of his finishing move, jumping up with the leg coming down, he lost three inches of height.

[Steve Austin]

You know, here's the thing about Hogan, and I always give that guy a ton of respect because he had a tremendous run. You think something so simple as just jumping up and dropping that leg. Here's the great thing about that leg. First of all, it worked. It looked good. He was charismatic as hell, had a great look, but anybody could take that finish. So when you come up with finish in pro wrestling, you want it to be something that everybody can take. So if it's a bunch of damn, you know, crazy toss around whirlig gigs, you know, and it's acrobatic, not everybody can take that, but anybody can lay there and get a leg dropped on them. But my point is, when you're six, six, you're 320. When you drop that leg for 30 years, man, it's like interest, it compounds daily, especially as you get up on it in the years. So, you know, he's paying the price of that. Just a simple leg drop. And, you know, there was times my finish was a stone cold stunner. So sometimes I'd go to TV on a Monday night Raw. Monday night Raw. Bill was like therapy for me because it was like, okay, yeah, I get all my shit out.

[Bill Burr]

We used to take that night off a stand uprise. We would take the night off. We'd have him on speaker. I remember one time, I think he actually made the journey all the way in from Jersey just to watch it. And all three of us sitting on that little couch, we ordered, like, Chinese food. It was. It was the greatest, man.

[Steve Austin]

But sometimes you go to the building, like, hey, Steve would give you about, you know, six or eight stunners tonight. You know, bam, here's gonna come down to the ring, give him a stunner, give this guy a stunner. Gives and like, God damn, my back's all fucked up. But you're not gonna say, well, Vince, my back's kind of fucked up, I better take a night off, right? You're out there ringing up stunners with a fucked up bag. So it catches up to you.

[Bill Burr]

It seems a lot like pro football where they. Their thing is always like, can you go? Is the question. And there's only one answer to that, or else you're out the door and someone else is going to take your job. So, I don't know. I mean, one night, me and Bobby, we were going to. We were going to thank God we didn't go through it. That there was this old comedy club, the Boston Comedy Club. And people used to always joke it looked like an old, like, ski lodge that sort of burned down. I mean, it was a shithole. Had this wooden stage. Small one, too. And we were talking one night, and he was gonna do the rocks finish and move. What was that? The rock bottom is. What was it called? Yeah, he was gonna do that to me or I was gonna do it to him. And fortunately, I mean, I was already, like, 30 years old during that time. That would have fucked me up. He was somehow gonna do it, and we were gonna get into some phony argument on, like, a Tuesday night, like, with eight people there, and he was gonna pick me up and slam me down. We wouldn't try to work the whole thing out. And fortunately, smarter. We actually. Just. Because. Remember when you were a kid and you try to do all the wrestling moves to your friend? The first time. First time, I remember doing the polish hammer, and you didn't know not to interlock your fingers. You'd slap into your little buddy's chest, and all your fingers felt like they broke off. And we didn't understand, like, all of those things I used. I fortunately had, like, you know, three younger brothers, so I could, you know, try out the airplane spin. Everybody's moved, but I remember the first time, one of the first two times, I really fucked up my back. Fourth grade, this kid put me in a figure four leg lock because he was trying to show me how to do it. And he got in. He got me into it. And then all the kids started going nuts, and he kind of was, like, into the crowd cheering. He wasn't letting me out of it. So I, like. I got up to try to undo the leg, and I felt a pull in my lower back. That was fourth grade. And then the first time I messed up my upper back was Tony Atlas inspired. His finishing move was to put you up over the head. And I picked up. My brother was about four years younger than me, and I went to pick him up over my head. I swear to God, it felt like. It felt like my spine bent. And I. I got. I got. I got about halfway over my head. I still remember I was at. I was in the living room so fortunately, there was a rug because when I. I had to drop him immediately, he was crying because he fucked up his shoulder. And, you know, so that's the funny thing. So everybody said they go, yeah, wrestling's fake. Wrestling's fake. It's like, really, when I do it, I still get hurt, so.

[Steve Austin]

Well, it's funny because on your Twitter account, Ill Burr, there's a picture of you and nature boy Ric Flair, arguably.

[Bill Burr]

One of the funniest dudes you ever lived.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, God damn, he's hilarious. And he's my favorite pro wrestler of all time. But my point is, it plays back into your story about being in the figure four. Bill, next time you get put in a figure four, don't try to unlace your legs. You roll over, you reverse the pressure.

[Bill Burr]

Which way do I.

[Steve Austin]

Either way, whether all you got to do is go belly down and it puts the pressure on him. Allegedly. That's how it works.

[Bill Burr]

Do you know how cool it is 40 years later to hear it from stone cold Steve Austin? This is how you get out of the figure 4. I'm going to teach my wife how to put me in it. See if it works.

[Steve Austin]

Get on YouTube, go push it. Put in, just push flair versus steamboat and watch him put steamboat in that figure four. And all of a sudden, Ricky will get that crowd and he's getting that crowded. God damn. He's almost got him. And finally turns it over and the pressure goes to Ric Flair and he goes to the ropes. So now he's selling the legs, just like Steamboat selling the legs. So there's no reason why, you know, kinesiologically or anatomically why rolling over would reverse the pressure. But that was the story.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. The Steve Austin Show. The Steve Austin Show.

[Adam Kroll]

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[Steve Austin]

So tell me about starting off, dude, because you said you got three brothers, right?

[Bill Burr]

I Have four brothers.

[Steve Austin]

Four brothers, yeah. Okay. So, like, were you the funniest guy in the family? Were you always funny?

[Bill Burr]

No, I. I wasn't, no. My older brother was 10 times. Still is. 10 times funnier than me. Everybody in, like, I grew up in, you know, the suburbs of Boston, and I just, just. Everybody was funny. I don't. Can't explain it. There's something basically about the New York, Boston all the way down to like, Jersey area, tri state area and all in there. There's everybody's like a character. But there's something about Boston where it's just like. I don't know if you watch those reality shows more times than not, at least the ones that my wife watches, those survivors and stuff. There's always some Boston lunatic, you know, he's got the crazy accent. They just. Just bunch of characters there. So I just think everybody, you know, was so funny growing up that I just. You just sort of like, absorb it. And there was all big families and stuff and like, fighting was accepted back then and drinking and driving. What wasn't, wasn't like. Yeah, no, I used to fight. Yeah. My parents, the rule was don't hit each other in the face. It was like, hit each other from here to here. That was considered working it out amongst yourselves.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I remember my mother one time tried to smash a brush over my head because my brother said I kicked my other brother in the face, which was bullshit. I kicked him in the stomach. I don't know why to this day he said that. So my mother was brushing her hair. She had this big, like the 70s plastic, you know.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Who's the fairest of them all? Brushes. She turned around, smashed me in the head. And I like, did that pussy duck, basically. You put your shoulders up and go. And she caught me right in the middle of the back. Right. And the whole. It would have been great for wrestling. The whole thing. The whole brush exploded. And my mother was like, you know, we had so many kids or just so cheap. I just remember she just picked up like, the brush part. And for like the next 10 years, she was just holding the brush part. And every once in a while I'd catch her using it. I'd just be like, you know, I would still be pleading my case, going, I kicked him in his. It was his chest. I think that's why my brother had a bad angle. It was like a quick play at the plate or something. He had a bad angle. He thought I kicked him in the face. I didn't. To this day, I'll go to my grave denying that.

[Steve Austin]

Dude. The thing was, if you popped off to my mom and she happened to be in the kitchen, she had one of those wooden spoons in her hand and she got you cornered.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

She was going to wear your ass out with a wooden spoon and she'd break them and my dad just go get more wooden spoons.

[Bill Burr]

My grandmother broke, don't talk shit to.

[Steve Austin]

Your mom when she got a wooden spoon. That was my deal. I learned that real fast.

[Bill Burr]

My grandmother tried to break one over my head, but I got my arm up quick enough and it snapped. I kept messing up this rug, which wasn't looking a little throw rug. And she kept going like, who keeps messing this up? So it became like this game. And she went in the kitchen and she stopped real quick and looked back out and she caught me messing it up. And she. Dude turned into the devil just came flying at me like it was a hatchet. And I just put my arm up. It was really weird because I only saw her a few times a year. So it was kind of like a stranger coming at me. And it snapped over my forearm and then she just went, wow, that's the end of that spoon. And that was it went out and bought another one. My other grandfather used it to. You remember the 70s refrigerators? We had the side by side. He just, he couldn't handle the fact that we just kind of went in there and got something to eat whenever we wanted to. So he jammed the thing in there so we couldn't open it. So we were sitting there starving. Just an ornery guy just jerry rigged this thing. We couldn't get anything neat.

[Steve Austin]

Okay, so we're going back to your, your stand up deal because on, you know, and researching it says you started in 92. Yeah, but you probably had. You were testing shit out before then. What makes you decide to just turn pro and start in 92 on the stand up?

[Bill Burr]

There is no turning pro as a comedian. It's just you just get thrown in the deep end. It's not like you can't like try out material. Was just. It was a talent contest. This place, Nick's Comedy Stop, which still exists, which is crazy because I've been doing it for 24 years, that the place that I stepped on stage first still exists. Nick's Comedy Stop had a contest find Boston's funniest comedy student. And it was just basically, you know, a big hype thing to get a bunch of college kids in there drinking, watching their friends go up and bomb. And I Just this. I saw it and I just immediately called the number before I chickened out, before I really had to think about it. And I do remember vaguely sitting down trying to write material and you're just sitting there going like, how do you do this? Like, I've always been funny in class, but how do I. But like funny just happened. You just sort of improv in your whole life. Like, you know, you see something, you make a joke, you make people laugh. He throwing shit in or whatever. But now I'm gonna sit down and artificially create this moment. Like how do I get to the funny and stuff? And you know that took. Took a while. Definitely took a while.

[Steve Austin]

But is that like. I mean, I would imagine it's just like some of the guys watch history. The Eagles. Were you big Eagles fan?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I worked in a warehouse. So they played it got to the point they played them so much that there was a few groups that I had to take like a decade break from.

[Steve Austin]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

They were one of them. Zeppelin. Yeah, the Eagles. Crosby, Stills and Nash. We had like classic hits on. There was. The guys who worked in the warehouse also played in a band and they played a lot of that classic rock stuff. So they listened to that. WZLX is what it was. And they played that shit from like 9 in the morning till 5 at night. And it got to the point of like, I, I, I can't listen to this stuff anymore.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, I can get you on the decades off stuff because they hit them so hard for, for so long. I needed a little break myself, but. And listen to how those guys learned how to start writing songs. It was an interesting process. So here you are, you're coming out of communications. You get on the stage, you're going to write this.

[Bill Burr]

I was not communicating when I got on stage. The communication was not going well.

[Steve Austin]

Did you win the gig or how long was your first set?

[Bill Burr]

Was supposed to be five minutes and I think I did like three and I bailed. I made fun of the host and then I just got off. Mike. Mike. My first time doing stand up and I would say this to anybody who's getting into it like the first, you know, 10, 20 times you do it has nothing to do with how well, good or bad you're doing. All it has to do with is when they call your name, having the balls to go back up there or go up there the first time. That's all it is. Like, you know, and I just was joking with the Buddy Rogan, I was joking with him, just going like I AM so glad YouTube did not exist when I was going through my Am I the next Bill Hicks phase, you know what I mean? There is a phase that a lot of comics go through, myself included, where you think, hey, am I going to be the guy with the leather jacket, smoking the cigarette, you know, telling them how it is? You know, it's sort of like, you know, and. And everybody, whether you had the jacket and the cigarette, you know, kind of tried that hat on for a minute, and thank God I know they exist. They exist somewhere. The footage is on a VHS tape somewhere in the back of one of my closets, but it'll never see the light of day, right?

[Steve Austin]

But when you hit the stage and all of a sudden you start getting booked, I mean, what's the dues paying process? Are you another job on a side.

[Bill Burr]

It's. It's a lot like when I read books on, like, you know, I got all. I read all you guys books. Like, my. One of my favorite ones was Ric Flair, to be the man, you got to beat the man. I own that in hardcover. Like, I read all of those things, and what I. The. The stuff that I related to the most was the dishonest promoters and being in a car with another performer and laughing and joking and having beers afterwards. But obviously, the level of physical pain and the shit that you guys went through is way beyond our stuff is more like just absolute humiliation. Just like, you know, there's still sometimes, like, I will think about stuff that happened to me when I was on stage. It always happens when I'm in the shower. I don't know why. And it's just some of the. Like, I just got so owned by a crowd and had no comeback and just how embarrassed I was. And there's always friends in the crowd when it happened. Every once in a while, when those memories come up, I literally have to, like, shout it out of my brain. Like, I'll just be in the shower. My wife will be down the hall, and she just hear me just go, like. And then she'll be in the kitchen going, like, are you okay? Yeah. So I just, you know, my back.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And it isn't. It's me thinking about, like, you know. Yeah. Oh, man. I took some. I took some bad. It's weird. The older I get, they've starting to fade from my memory. But, I mean, there was. Yeah, there's definitely a lot of horrific gigs. Not getting paid, you know, I mean, the first. You just. You're just so happy that you get in any stage Time. And that's another big thing. At some point you got to put a worth on what you're doing because you just come into the business hat in hand. Like, I'll do anything. I'll clean the bathrooms, I'll sweep up. Just give me two minutes, I'll drive. You know, I was in Massachusetts. I used to drive up to New Hampshire and Maine for five minute sets and I would, you know, I was working with my dad in a dental office, right? And we'd be numbing up people, pulling teeth. Why he would be, I just hand him the shit. Then the second the gig, it was over, I'd go out and go do a gig. And I was still living at home, so my dad knew I was going all the way up to Maine. And he would book patients at like 7 in the morning. Like my dad was just a lunatic, how hard he worked, like seven to seven. And you know, I would come home, I get home like 3 o' clock in the morning and I would wake up and I wouldn't be worth shit. And he'd be like chewing me out in front of the patients, like, Christ, Bill, you're out to lunch, like right in front of somebody sitting there with their mouth open and shit. But I still remember the first time I got paid. I got paid $5 in gas money and it blew my mind. I just remember at this 83 Ford Ranger, vinyl seats, piece of shit, just like the anti pussy mobile, right? Just driving this thing. And I just remember just looking at that $5 bill thinking like, I got that for doing, telling jokes and just that whole idea of like, can you imagine if I could actually like not have a day job? I remember just, it was very, the dream was very incremental. Imagine if I became a paid comic and I was just the host. And then imagine being the feature and then imagine being the headliner. And then I remember just fantasizing about the day I could quit my day job. And I started out also with Dane Cook. And I remember he was working at Blockbuster Video. And I remember the day like he quit. He was telling me he was quitting. Like I vicariously lived through it with him and I was like, I remember like calling him up or seeing him at Nick's like later on a few days later being like, dude, what's it like? What's it like? He's like, oh, it's awesome. He goes, you wake up whenever you want, you just sit there. I remember he said this, he goes, like, you know what, I'm gonna have some toast and, like, that freedom has never. I've never taken that for granted. Like, the. The unbelievable freedom that you have once you start, once you're a working comic, where it. You can just. You know, you work when you want to work. You know, I mean, it doesn't happen. I mean, this. When I got to that level, it took, like, 20 years to be like, okay, I can now. I have a following. I can. I can work like that. But I still remember how awesome it was. And when I would do the road, I was a big sports fan, so I just, you know, I would just look at, like, you know, if I was at a bunch of college gigs, I would just take out the baseball schedule, football, hockey, whatever the hell it was, and I would just book gigs around there. I would drive out of my way to go see shit. But a lot of that stuff was, unlike you, where it was just me by myself. Those college gigs and shit went to, like, the Mall of America.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, but if you're. If you're driving down the road by yourself, are you sitting there thinking, okay, you see a billboard or you just start thinking about something, you trying to think of shit all the time.

[Bill Burr]

You know what? I would usually. I was usually listening to music, fantasizing that I knew how to do that. And, like, I have this, like, I just constantly daydreaming of me being a hero, all the fuck. I don't know why that is. But, like, if I listen to a Stevie Ray Vaughan song, right, I'm Stevie when he's doing something great, which is usually most of the song. But if I listen to, like, Stang Swang, then I'm thinking I'm Chris Layton playing the cool drums in the beginning. And it's just. So I'm. I was. Usually it was music, sports, and making people laugh. That's like my. My, you know, triangle offensive, like, trying to be happy. And so, like, all making people laugh was the only thing I was actually good at. Everything else, I was just like, you know, weekend warrior stuff. But music was a huge thing to me, so I was always listening to all the shit I grew up on, like, AC DC and Guns N Roses. And then when I met Patrice, he got me into, like, you know, Biggie Smalls and Ice Cube and all that. I remember I'd always try to buy rap tapes, and he would just look at them and just throw him out the window and then just laugh at me, go, this guy stinks. And then he'd tell me the guy's real. But then he was funny. I would you know, I tell him about Led Zeppelin and all that type of stuff. He got totally into the Beatles and stuff. It was really funny.

[Steve Austin]

So when you're going out and you're doing your first gigs. I remember when I first started in the business in Dallas, Texas. For two months, I'd worked two days a week, Friday night and Saturday morning, and the bad guys would come in and just kick the shit out of me with kendo sticks and weightlifting belts. I was paying my dues and then they shipped me off to Tennessee. And that's when I started working full time. And I show up and I'm gonna have my first match in a territory that I don't know anybody. I'm two months in the business and all I've been doing is getting. Getting the shit kicked out of me.

[Bill Burr]

Right. And so now what's your job tonight? Are you supposed to win or lose?

[Steve Austin]

I'm gonna win a match. And I'm a baby face, as we would call it. And Dutch Mantel says, steve, you're working with what's, what's his name over there. He's wearing a mask. He goes, go out there and give us about eight minutes and you'll beat him. I can't remember how I beat him. All of a sudden, he told me eight minutes. I'm thinking to myself, God damn, what the fuck am I gonna do for eight minutes? Yeah, because you're scared of time.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

You know, and then as you. As you get, you know, a couple more months a year to. Dude, you need 20, 30, 40. Right. So how did your routine grow from, you know, your first, you know, five minute gig, which turned into be three minutes at the.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

College thing.

[Bill Burr]

That's so crazy, the similarity of this. Yeah. How do I. How'd you get your time up? That's what we call how do you get your time up? Was basically. All right, so you had, like in Boston, it was Nick's Comedy Stop the Comedy Connection and Giggles. Those were like the A rooms. So that would be like working for the. Was WWF when I was a kid wwe. Right. And then you had all these. Then you had the B rooms and the C room. So these would be like different. Different wrestling circuits. So it'd be like in A rooms I would be a host. In B rooms I could feature. And if it was just some absolute shithole, actually, I never. I never headlined. And I think maybe one time I did before I moved to New York. When I moved to New York, I KNEW I had 45 minutes at that point. But I had never done 45. So I had 45 minutes. I could talk for 45 minutes if I could remember all of it. And I remember I talked to this guy, Roger Paul, and I had already sent him my tape, and he really liked me. And he was the first guy that headlined me. And he goes, can. He goes, did you headline up in Boston? And I just lied. I said, oh, yeah, yeah, I can handle that. And what would happen was, when you first start headlining, you're used to doing 30 minutes. And what would. What kept happening was, I get to 30, and it would go great. And then there was like seven minutes of what the fuck? As I'm saving Mike, basically my finishing move was my closing bit, and I'm saving that thing, right? And, like, so my sets would. If you were to graph and would gradually build, build, build, build, build. And then there'd just be this lull. And then I. Then I. Then I would get out on the. On the. On the closing bit and go back up again. But it wouldn't get to the same height as 30 minutes. So it was kind of like, yeah, yeah, that's what it was.

[Steve Austin]

What are you thinking when you put your set together? Because here's the thing.

[Bill Burr]

I don't. I don't have a. I have an idea what I'm gonna open with, and I know what I'm gonna close with. Like, I kind of know all the jokes, but then, like, I don't have, like, the set order. Like, it goes much better if I just think about the joke and then I just do the joke. And sometimes I have callbacks to jokes, but I haven't told it yet. But what it does is it gets you to be present. Like, I am, you know, whatever. I am at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles. I'm at the Punchline in San Francisco. Like, I am here right now, as opposed to being up there. Like, I did the whole. Write it all out word by word, memorize it, always say it the same way, do it in the same order. I did that, and I found myself on stage. It was like when I was reading a book. Like, my brain would just be going. And then I would start thinking, like, going. Like, I have not thought about this crowd or what the fuck I've been saying for, like, three minutes, which is a long time. And then I would start thinking, like, why are they even laughing? Like, what is even funny about this? And then the second you think that, for me, I just start bombing. Like, it's like I'm in a plane and it starts Losing altitude. And I can't figure out why. And so I have to go. You know, I have to switch it up. What I found works for me is I have to. You know, my buddy called me recently. He goes, man, he goes, we, you know, we get the third show. He goes, there's only, like, 30 people gonna show up. 30 reservations. And I. From all of those years, I got, like, this jolt that went through me because I did the whole, oh, there's only 30 people up here. So I'm gonna go up and, you know, act like there's 30 people. And then one day I was just like, fuck this. I'm gonna murder these 30 and make them wish that they brought 30 more. Which is not the most original thought, but I don't. I can't remember somebody told me to do that, But I just started approaching it like sports. Like, it's all right, we're down 18 runs, but you're not gonna win by 19. And I want to make this fucking miserable for you. And I'm gonna try to foul off as many pitches, whatever I gotta do. And it's like that athlete, like, mindset of not losing, like, if you apply that to stand up, you know, you always like this. Gotta be luck. There's gotta be the talent. But the biggest thing is you have to have that thing where, you know, you're in the middle of Dallas and some shithole, and everybody else is sitting there going, like, do I really want to do this? Should I get married and have kids? And you're out there just this flying across, and you have to kick the shit out of them or it's going to start dipping and they're not going to come back.

[Steve Austin]

Got to give them bang for the buck.

[Bill Burr]

You have to.

[Steve Austin]

They bought a ticket. You got to give. Give them everything.

[Bill Burr]

You have to. This is the Steve Austin Show.

[Narrator/Promoter]

This is a story that begins with a dying wish.

[Bill Burr]

One thing I would like to you to do.

[Narrator/Promoter]

My mother's last request, that my sister and I finish writing the memoir she'd started about her German childhood when her father designed a secret super weapon for Adolf Hitler. My grandfather, Robert Lesser, headed the Nazi project to build the world's first cruise missile, which terrorized millions and left a legacy that dogged my mother like a curse.

[Bill Burr]

She had some secrets. Mom had some secrets.

[Narrator/Promoter]

I'm Suzanne Rico. Join my sister and me as we search for the truth behind our grandfather's work and for the first time, face the ghosts of our past.

[Steve Austin]

Jeez.

[Bill Burr]

Who is he?

[Narrator/Promoter]

Listen to the man who calculated Death available now, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Steve Austin]

Going back to one of the points you made a while ago, I think you'll agree with. I'll put that up with the. The hammer on what you were saying. I was talking with Zach Wild.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah. He's awesome.

[Steve Austin]

You know Zach.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

It's funny thing, before I started. Before I started rolling the. The. The recorder, Bill walks into my house. He meets my wife and my dogs. And we come in here, and I have a guitar on my wall, as most of you people that listen to my show know about my Stevie Ray Vaughan guitar. And he goes, jesus Christ. He goes, is that real? And he dug the guitar. And so I told Bill, I said, out of 95% of people that come here, nobody ever notices that goddamn guitar. And it's one of my possessions.

[Bill Burr]

I first saw the Stevie Ray picture, and I was just, like, found that.

[Steve Austin]

We was on Santa Barbara, just. And we was going through an old little file thing, and that's all the Stevie Ray black and white, and had to have that thing. But Zach Wilde told me, just. Speaking of guitar players, I asked Zach one time, I was at Ozzfest somewhere in San Antonio, man, I think we were about to get lit up hammered. And I told him he was in his room just fucking shredding. And I said, goddamn, Zach. I said, what are you thinking when you're doing that? How do you play all that? He goes, steve, he goes, bro, he's from Jersey.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

He goes, steve, if you're thinking you're stinking.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. You're just flowing to the next.

[Steve Austin]

Same with pro wrestling, dude. I mean, you got to think, here's the thing, and I want to get your feedback on this because, dude, okay, just say we're at Chicago Rose Mount Horizon, my favorite building. They renamed it my favorite building to work in because of the acoustics and the people there are just rabid for wrestling. And so 18,000 strong, you go in there, and when you're having your match, you're listening to the response of that crowd, because each time you go, yeah, spot if I'm working. Okay, say I'm working. Heel. And you're baby face. I'll be the bad guy, you're the good guy. I'm calling the match. Boom. We're working, we're working. Bam. I'm working that crowd. I'm popping them, popping them. Pop.

[Bill Burr]

Bam.

[Steve Austin]

I'm gonna bring you down. Settle them down. I'm gonna piss them off. I get some heat on you. Fire them up by giving you a.

[Bill Burr]

Little bit of something cool.

[Steve Austin]

And then, boom, we're gonna. We're gonna make them come on this comeback. And then the finish, that's explosion. So my point is, we're listening to that fucking crowd. I can't hear for shit, but I can hear a crowd. If you've got 18,000 people in there and 17,999 of them are cheering, and one motherfucker up there and row 100e is going. I can hear him.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And so I'm tuned in that crowd. So you've got to be like you said, sometimes those three minutes goes by, but you, to me, you read a crowd like a motherfucker.

[Bill Burr]

Well, you do it long enough, you don't. It's. It's a. It's a. It's this big thing. It's this big noise. It's a big noise that you're controlling. Then you got to know when to bring them up, when, and bring them down. That took me the longest time to learn. I mean, one time, one of the most times when I was, you know, when I just told that guy Roger Paul that I closed rooms, so he put me in some room. I can't even remember where the hell I was at. But this guy in the middle just murdered. Murdered. And I forget what bodily fluid joke he ended on. And they go into the proctologist, and he's got his finger up my ass, and the fucking place is going nuts. Like, he has him up to 11. So I made the mistake, is I went on stage and tried to start at 11, and I had nowhere to go. I got about 10 minutes into my set, and I was literally out of breath from telling jokes, and I was like. And then when I was five, and it's just like. And I. What. I lit what I had to do. I. I just started bombing for, like, five minutes, and then I gradually built it back up again. I got off stage and I had a headache, and, you know, I was a baby about it. And I called the comic, you know, talked to an older comic. I'm like, this fucking guy is doing all this bodily fluid stuff. You know, he's fucking screaming. I've seen a million guys do that joke. And he just said, dude. He goes. He goes, don't ever do that. He goes, just go up. He goes, keep it going for that guy. Wasn't he great? And just start slow. Start slow and just gradually build it up again. But blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you can do, like, yeah, just. Just do that. And that was like, you know, I mean, so much of the stuff that I learned, I learned by completely failing. And then an older comic told me, you know, how to. How to work that out. But I remember the first time where I was conscious that I was being able to read a crowd. But I was working this place, Harvey's, in Portland, Oregon, and the dude who ran it used to. He had, like, all these telemarketers. You just paper the room. So you do a Tuesday through a Sunday, three shows Saturday, two shows Friday, you know, like, you know, all inclusive, like a 1500 buck thing. So by the end, I think after taxes, you walk with like, $300 to do like nine shows or some shit, right? So I come in there Tuesday night, and it's just packed, and I was like, holy shit. Like, this is like. I thought I was gonna lean on the mic strung and fuck around. So once you establish that you're there, I didn't have to be there, like, an hour before the show. So come Thursday, I came walking in about 10 minutes before I went on, and I walked in, and I walked in the room. I was in there for, like, literally three seconds. And I looked at the waitress and I said, what happened? And she goes, well, the guy on stage, he kind of told a joke that people thought was. I don't know, kind of sort of sounded racist and blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, I just felt the crowd. Like, it wasn't like. It wasn't the energy of this guy's bombing. It wasn't an energy of, like, you know, we're drunk and we don't care and we're rowdy. It was this energy that something happened. Like, did somebody just get thrown out or whatever? And I remember thinking, like. Like, I remember trying to afterwards think, think about, what was that sound? And it isn't a sound. It's just a feeling you get. I. It's so weird. It. Because. And it becomes back to that Zach thing. You're saying, well, if you're thinking, you're stinking. Like, so when I. When I tried to, you know, break down the thought of what it is, you can't verbalize it. So that's the same thing. The same thing. Like, that's so cool. You're listening to it, building it up and bringing it down.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, but I'm watching you.

[Bill Burr]

That's unreal, man.

[Steve Austin]

But here's a story that goes, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You guys have beaten the. Out of each other. I'm just up there going, you know, what's up with Obama? You guys are like. You guys are like, I'll tell you one time, like when, like I miss Ric Flair when he came up, because it was back then you had territory. So we were, we were Vince McMahon's WWF.

[Steve Austin]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

And well, I forget what, what he. He wrote nwa. So I missed all of his stuff and I just. But you still heard about him?

[Steve Austin]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And it wasn't until, you know, like the mid-2000s when, you know, YouTube came out, everybody posts the clips. And I just went down this rabbit hole one night and I went from just hearing about the legend of Ric Flair to being, I mean, like he had like so many times, like, if I would have bad gigs, I would watch you guys clips and stuff and guys being on the mic and. And his stuff. I mean, it's still my favorite one ever is when he, when he held up that loafer and he told the guy shoes cost more than his house. I remember when I was trying to describe that line to my wife, I was literally crying, laughing, and she was going, like, you know, cuz she's not into, like, she, you know, I'm just telling it secondhand. She goes, was it really that funny? I was like, nia, you had to see the guy's face. It was probably true if you looked at the guy he was saying it to, and this guy was standing there. What I loved was he was so bought in to the character of Ric Flair. Like it was so fucking real to him. I loved it.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, dude. And you're hitting it 100% on the head. He was so convicted. It was a shoot. I mean, in our business, like you said, a shoot match. I mean, when somebody buys in that deep, he's living it. And it was real to him. Just a parallel to a quick story. I always tell the story all the time, but I give it to you because you've been there. Talking about following that guy who had the bodily fluids. He's like, God damn, how do I follow that? He tried to start out at 11. Dude, we used to go over to Japan and all of a sudden you're in the slot and you're right behind either like a Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero, I mean, just some of those guys that are cruiserweights that just go like, crazy, nobody's business. Just extreme workers, badasses. And all of a sudden I got my limited move set, you know, I got a right hand, I can kick somebody. And that's about it, right? I got a headlock. But after these guys wouldn't blow the roof off a place. What do you do?

[Bill Burr]

How do you Follow that, what would you do?

[Steve Austin]

You just go do your shit. I can't try to emulate what they did. I've never done it in my life. So now all of a sudden, because they went out there, lit the crack on fire. So you just go out there and you do your shit and you're convicted. Like Ric Flair was on the promo with the shoe. You just do your match, you lay your shit in and your intensity is high and you don't rush it. And so that's how you follow.

[Bill Burr]

Did you ever have, did you ever try. You must have early on, like, okay, I, I got to do some moves like that. Even they, even though they weren't part of, part of your.

[Steve Austin]

When I was over in Japan, you know, I used to do a top rope splash and the dude moved, he was supposed to, and I tore my tricep off my arm. We was in Japan for three weeks. I tore my tricep off on the third night. So I got to wrestle for two and a half weeks with the torn tricep, you know, so that's when I knew that sticking to the ground was going to be, you know, where I was going to make, you know, have a long career. Yeah, where I was going to have a long career. Answer me this question. Because sometimes, dude, we'd go out there and just say, like you said, sometimes. One time, a long time ago is me and Flying Brian, we were wrestling Shane Douglas and Ricky the Dragon, Steamboat, and it was a big snowstorm.

[Bill Burr]

One of the greatest names ever.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. And so nobody could get to the building. And there were literally 50 or so people there. And man, we went out there just like that store you said a while ago, and we lit that place on fire. 30 minutes of bust ass tag team wrestling.

[Bill Burr]

We put on a show that's awesome. The Steve Austin Show. The Steve Austin Show.

[Steve Austin]

Hey man, do you own or rent your home? Sure you do, and I bet it can be hard work. You know what's easy? Bundling policies with geico. GEICO makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renters insurance along with your auto policy. It's a good thing too, because you already have so much to do around your home. Go to geico.com, get a quote and see how much you could save. It's geico easy. Visit geico.com today. That's geico.com but sometimes when you go out there, whether it's 50 or whether it's 20,000, sometimes you, you go out there and you've been on the road for A long ass time and you're a pretty good hand. Maybe set the five year mark and then I'll go to the 10 or 12 year mark for me. But sometimes you go out there and you just get a crowd. That ain't buying shit. As over as you are stone cold Steve Austin, or as funny as you are at a scientific level, Bill Burr. You ever get a crowd these days that just all of a sudden it just kind of lukewarm to the shit you're doing? Or are those days gone by because you're so good at what you do now?

[Bill Burr]

It's more once you get known. Once you get known then like you're a big guy, it becomes easier. Yeah, like I'm not as. You know, if I went up against a crowd like that, I haven't done it in a while. Like I can remember the last time that happened to me. I was, I was gonna do Letterman and I needed to get five minutes and I was, you know, I was new out here, so I went to some. This guy had this room out in Glendale and it was just a bar. It was just a bar and most people came there to watch the Laker game. And he, the, the host goes up, he bombs. The next person goes up, they bomb. And like two, three people in a row are just bombing bad. And I was in the back going like, I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him. He's new that kids, blah, blah, blah, blah. Once I get up there, I bet some people here gotta know who I am. You know, I've got a half hour on Comedy Central. I did a little something on hbo and I went up there and nobody knew who I was. And I had to work totally clean and just go through this, this, hey, what's up with this, you know, late night TV show, dude? And I ate my balls. Ate my balls. And then I just abandoned my TV set and I tried to turn it around by giving shit about the Lakers, you know, rather than, you know, going a positive route, which I never go, I should have gone like, hey, man, the lake. You guys like the Lakers? All right, you know, just something to get them in. Yeah, I was like, fucking Kobe's overrated. How much free agency help do you like? And they were just like, ha. And then he just turned back around and it was just like, they just ignored me. And I'd been in it long enough where I just laugh. There you go, you egomaniac. That's what you get for that, you know. You thought you were gonna go up There, and everyone was gonna be, you know, thrilled to see a guy that was on VH1's I Love the 80s, whatever the stupid talking head show credit I had back then and. But, like, you know, I guess, you know, recently I've opened for a few bands, and that can be a difficult thing where they are when a crowd's standing up and they're there to see music, and then you come out that. It's a really. You know, I have major. Like, I don't care how long I've been doing stand up, how big I ever got, there would never be a moment where I wasn't plotting backstage on a gig like that, going, like, all right, I need to do this, I need to do that. Make sure you don't do this. Because it didn't work the last time. I got to open for Queens of the Stone Age one time, which was killer, man, because, you know, one of my favorite bands ever. And. And I just knew it. I knew going out there, I was like, oh, man. So I went out there and I was having a good set, and it just. It just always gets to that point, you know, like, they've had enough. They didn't come here to see you. Came here to see rock stars, not some sickly looking Ron Howard jackass, right? So I got like 12 minutes into this, and this. This fat chick just started screaming at me and wouldn't shut up. And so I kind. I kind of trash the. The lead singer, Josh said. He goes, nah, nah, it went great. It went great. It's funny, he didn't like his set and I didn't like my set. I ran into him recently. He was like, dude, you were better than us last night. I go, no, I wasn't. I had that fat chick screaming at me. He goes, no, but you handled it perfectly. I was like, I just told her to go yourself. I didn't do anything. And then I was just like. I sort of got her to shut up. And then I just kind of gracefully tried to get off the stage. But way back in the day, I used to open for, like, Wynonna Judd, and I did it, like, maybe four or five gigs with her. And those things were either great or they were just like, if it was inside, I had a chance if they were sitting down. But I mean, I think we did Del Mar one time. We did, like, that outdoor racetrack, and it was like in the middle of the day, comedy during the day. Outside, sun's out, and I just come walking out like it was, you know. Yeah, so, like, if there's situations like that, then I. I still can't get out of those. I mean, there are impossible situations, so you just have to sit. What I do is just mentally, I just start thinking of all the comics I'm gonna call the second I get off stage to tell them how bad I ate my balls. Just. And then you can laugh about it, you know?

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, but it always feels to get. Get it off your chest, because, I mean, sometimes you go out there and you think you're gonna rock the place. I mean, you get them, but you could have done better. And it's. It's always. You're always hanging. And this is going back years for me. You're currently still doing. I stopped a long time ago, but you just hang on. That last performance, I mean.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Rocked them. I mean, fuck, you're on cloud nine all of a sudden. It's kind of like, you know, in your wrestling business, it takes you to, like, maybe five years to really get it, and then you go from there to the other levels. But at five years, you should be pretty proficient. So you think, okay, I got this. All of a sudden you go out there and you just. Just lay a big pile of shit. Nobody gives a fuck that he can get the. With the match and just go to the back. Everybody knows you stunk the joint. Goddamn, I thought I knew how to do this shit. Yeah, sometimes you do, sometimes you don't.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, you walk backstage and everybody's avoiding eye contact.

[Steve Austin]

The next night, you go out there and your confidence level has got just a little bit lower. So you're hoping you get this crowd to get your confidence back. Dude, if you lose your swagger and it's over, I mean, you ain't got it no more.

[Bill Burr]

That was me in 99. 99 or 2? 2,000. Well, I had failed in LA and I moved back.

[Steve Austin]

When did you first come to LA?

[Bill Burr]

Like, 96.

[Steve Austin]

How did you fail out here?

[Bill Burr]

I just was not booking anything and I couldn't get stage time. And once you're the new guy and then nothing happens for you. They just. They're kind of over you. And then there's the next wave of new. There's always going to be. You know, the thing about it is, when you come out here, if you don't have a voice or anything like that, you. You're just a piece of meat and they threw you up. So. I was a piece of meat. They threw me up there. And, you know, it's like, hey, potential, potential, potential. And after a Little while when nothing's happening, you know, another three, four waves of young guys come in, you're out. And that's basically what happened. So I moved back to New York. I had a. I had a manager and agent. They dumped me and I had no manager, no agent. And I just remember when I made the decision to go back to New York, it was just like, all right, why did I get into this business? I wanted to become a good comic. So I can't get the stage time out here. I got to go back to New York. And I'm just. And I remember thinking, I'm going to go back to New York and I'm going to get so funny they have to book me. That was. That was the only game plan I had. I went back to that walk through bedroom. That was when I started living with Bobby Kelly. This is the 90s, you know, rollerblading and all that, right. Way back then. And I just did a zillion shows, just a zillion shows. And then one day, I don't know, come out the other side and, yeah, you start thinking, how the hell did I get here? It's just like, I just put my head down and did a million shows. And Dave Chappelle and Neil Brennan hooked me up with a couple of episodes of Chappelle's show. And then that thing blew up and I got to experience like, you know, from a safe place where it wasn't me, it was. I was standing near the guy and watched somebody go up like. Like the Beatles, you know, Then, you know, and then it cooled down again for a little while. Did a little half hour for HBO, Opie and Anthony. That was a huge year. 2005, Jim Norton got me on the Opie and Anthony show. So those guys with the HBO special coming out, that gave me a little bit of a bump. So I got the. I could sell tickets on the east coast and for whatever reason in San Francisco. I don't know why, but I think that was more the HBO special. But, like, all the Opie and Anthony territories, I was doing really well, and those guys used to let me do promos and shit on the. On their show. Like, they. They really helped all of us out. And then I guess maybe Breaking Bad and Netflix. Yeah, those were. Those were the big. The big ones where you just gradually kept going up and up and up till I'm sitting here talking to you, which is still blowing my mind.

[Steve Austin]

All right, everybody, give me the go home cues. Time to wrap up his podcast and ride off in the sunset. So let's stop here on that career trajectory note and pick it up next to Next Thursday, Bill Burr hanging out at 316 Gimmick street and we'll continue the unleashed conversation again next Thursday. Hit subscribe at itunes so you don't miss out. And while you wait for that, why don't you check out Bill Burr's comedy special on Netflix. It's called I'm Sorry youy Feel that Way and you will laugh your ass off. And if you don't have Netflix, just get on YouTube and type in Bill Burr. If you don't think this guy is funny as hell, I'll kiss your ass.

[Bill Burr]

Thank you for joining us for another classic episode of the Steve Austin Show.

[Steve Austin]

Please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and tell your friends. For more Steve Austin show go to podcast1.com that's podcast o n e.com.

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[Steve Austin]

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[Bill Burr]

Oh my God, I love it.

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