Steve Austin: Pet Detective - SAS CLASSIC

Summary

The Steve Austin Show – SAS Classic

Episode Title: Steve Austin: Pet Detective
Release Date: July 23, 2026
Guest: Kristen Austin (Steve’s wife)
Location: Hollywood, CA (Studio: 317 Gimmick Street)

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Episode Overview

In this lively, unscripted episode, Steve is joined by his wife Kristen for an at-home chat covering everything from wrestling nostalgia and WrestleMania plans to the hilarious saga of a neighborhood stray cat, brisket-cooking failures, L.A. pet peeves, and heartwarming family tales. The centerpiece: the couple's accidental adventure as would-be pet detectives leading to the emotional reunification of a missing cat and its owner.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Life Updates & WrestleMania 34 (01:22–07:30)

• Steve recaps his upcoming plans for WrestleCon in New Orleans (April 7–8), not WrestleMania itself, sharing nostalgia for wrestling’s Mid South territory.
• Shares excitement over reconnecting with wrestling friends like Bill Watts, DDP, and Kevin Nash.
• Quote:
  • "One of the big things going on in my life right now is getting ready to pack up my bag of tricks, roll up my cords, put all my recording stuff in my backpack, and haul ass down there to New Orleans, Louisiana." — Steve (01:35)

2. The Great Cat Rescue: Steve & Kristen Become Pet Detectives (14:13–32:16)

The Stray Cat Appears

• The couple spots a black cat hanging around for months at 317 Gimmick Street.
• They start feeding it, thinking it might be a neighbor’s pet—eventually providing a feeding dish, wet food, even a cat house and catnip.

Operation Capture the Cat

• Kristen investigates with neighbors, posts on Nextdoor and in the newspaper, but no owner steps forward.
• After six months, they decide to formally adopt and care for the cat.
• Kristen purchases a "Havahart" humane trap on Amazon to catch the skittish feline and ensure its safety.
• Detailed explanation of trapping strategy (leave the trap out, bait with tuna, no food for two days).

The Vet Visit and The Twist

• They trap the cat, bring it to the vet — only to discover a collar with a phone number.
• Kristen debates calling (“If I dial this phone number, it's going to be the person that allegedly abandoned this cat. And you just don't know who you're going to get on the other line...” — Kristen, 22:38).
• The owner answers and is amazed: the cat (“Hamlet”) has been missing for over a year and a half, lost since October 28, 2016, and their home is 30 miles away in Sherman Oaks!
• The owner rushes through L.A. traffic to be reunited with Hamlet in a tearful scene.
• Kristen is moved by the emotional encounter, emphasizing the power of microchipping pets and perseverance in pet recovery.

Notable Moment

• “The cat’s name was Hamlet. This wasn’t a Shakespearean tragedy. There was a happy ending.” — Steve (27:09)
• “You could see there was a bond there. And man, that cat, it was a mess... after they left that girl got the cat home she sent Kristen a couple of pictures... That cat loved her and she loved that cat.” — Steve (28:16)

Steve’s “Next Steps”

• Jokes about launching a pet detection business: “Like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective... get a Yukon Denali XL. Plenty of room for Havahart traps back here, riding all over the city, checking our trap lines.” (29:12)
• Assigns Kristen new duties: trapping skunks and muskrats back at their Nevada property.

3. The Brisket Debacle: Adventures in Home Cooking (32:27–39:13)

• Steve describes the quest to recreate the best brisket he’s ever had, with Kristen supporting his barbecue aspirations.
• First attempt: ends up with a “brick” (“It turned into a brick. So we're out there, I'm squirting that little bastard down every hour ... like cutting into a shoe.” — Steve, 34:14)
• Second attempt: they “rest” the brisket in the clothes dryer! The result is still tough—more chopped brisket with BBQ sauce than restaurant quality.
• Plan: once back in Nevada, try again with better equipment. Steve considers entering BBQ competitions if he perfects the recipe.

4. TV Talk: “Wild, Wild Country” Documentary Hot-Take (41:11–46:24)

• Steve & Kristen agree on a rare binge-watch: Wild, Wild Country on Netflix.
  • Steve is initially skeptical but gets sucked in.
  • Both are perplexed by the participants’ devotion to the cult leader (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh), and amused by the doc’s bizarre moments.
• Quote:
  • “I highly recommend it… Them people were into some weird stuff. I mean, some weird shit.” — Steve (45:26)
• Praise for Sheila, the guru’s powerful lieutenant, as a standout personality.

5. L.A. Living & Pet Peeves (46:25–56:18)

• Steve and Kristen rant lightheartedly about noisy dogs, home improvement projects, loud motorcycles, inconsiderate drivers, and annoying neighbors in L.A.
• Shoutout to drivers who smoke in their Priuses and leave cigarette butts in the street.
• Both bemoan declining everyday etiquette:
  • People failing to thank others for holding doors.
  • Inattentive diners not even acknowledging restaurant servers.
• Steve mocks vaping (“those people that make all the smoke—the vapors—actually have contests to see who can make the most smoke, it’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.” — Steve, 54:23)

6. Family Tales: Kristen’s Mom, QVC, and the Freezer Full of Mysteries (60:32–66:57)

• The couple discusses Kristen’s mom’s love of home shopping networks and her knack for buying unnecessary deals (16 QVC purchases of a diamond bracelet, 91 potstickers, “manager specials” she’ll never eat).
• Kristen details the challenges of decluttering her mother’s freezer and keeping her safe from too many “special” grocery items.
• Light teasing about repurposed QVC gifts, like foot massagers, and ambitions for a garage sale.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “That cat was almost like he didn’t know whether to shit or wind his watch—he’s like, is this really you? Is this really you?” — Steve (27:16)
• “It was a great story. It just made me feel so good to have reunited them.” — Kristen (28:53)
• “We put the brisket in the dryer... after the bell went off, our clothes smelled like brisket.” — Steve (36:04)
• “If somebody does a random act of kindness for you, which is few and far between in today’s day and age, you would think they would say thank you.” — Steve (57:16)
• “My wife coming out? What do you mean? When I go to work, my wife... you don’t go to work with me!” — Steve, reflecting on their supportive, independent relationship (67:26)

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Segment Timestamps

• WrestleMania & Wrestling Nostalgia: 01:22–08:00
• Autograph Signing Tales: 08:00–12:30
• The Cat Rescue Saga Begins: 14:13–32:16
• Nevada Skunk/Muskrat Plans: 29:43
• Brisket Cooking Adventures: 32:27–39:13
• TV Talk – Wild, Wild Country: 41:11–46:24
• Pet Peeves & L.A. Rants: 46:25–56:18
• Family & QVC Shopping Tales: 60:32–66:57

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Overall Tone & Style

Casual, humorous, candid, and full of playful banter between Steve and Kristen. The episode is rich in everyday storytelling, homespun wisdom, and the no-nonsense, “bottom line” attitude Steve Austin is famous for—occasionally punctuated by heartfelt or touching moments.

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Conclusion

A classic, freewheeling episode centered on pet adventures, wrestling nostalgia, and the joys (and headaches) of everyday life. Whether you’re a wrestling fan, an animal lover, or just like good stories with a dose of Texan honesty, this is a feel-good, laugh-out-loud installment of The Steve Austin Show.

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Wrestling fans: Steve at WrestleCon (Sheraton, New Orleans, April 7–8, 9am–3pm). Pet owners: microchip your pets—reunions can happen!

Transcript

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Evening.

[Steve Austin]

Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car. I'll be moving in. Let's get started.

[Kristen Austin]

Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana.

[Ancient Aliens Announcer]

You what?

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Great price.

[Kristen Austin]

I even have seven days to love it or return it.

[Steve Austin]

So there's no.

[Kristen Austin]

No, no Buyer's remorse. More like. Buyers rejoice.

[Steve Austin]

I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it.

[Kristen Austin]

Buyers rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our 7 day return [e-mail] this

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Kristen Austin]

If the world were like a sleep number mattress, everything would adapt for your comfort. Your coffee would never get cold, your flight would always be on time and and your mattress would always respond to you and your unique sleep needs. Sleep number mattresses are designed to respond to your body and shift with your changing life, helping you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. To experience a whole new world of comfort, visit a sleep number store or go to sleepnumber.com sleep number to a good life Sleep the following Program is

[Steve Austin]

a podcast ONE.com production from Hollywood, California by way of the Broken Skull Ranch. This is the Steve Austin Show. Give me a Hell yeah. Hell y. Now here's Steve Austin. All right, everybody. Welcome to Steve Austin Show. I am coming to you from the mean streets of Los Angeles, California today, sitting over here at 317 Gimmick street, twiddling my thumbs, waiting on my wife to get home so we can have a conversation and shoot the breeze. That's right. My illustrious wife Kristen is my guest on today's podcast and we're gonna bring you guys up to speed with all the little BS details that are going on in our life. And one of the big things going on in my life right now is getting ready to pack up my bag of trick, roll up my cords, put all my recording stuff in my backpack, and haul ass down there to New Orleans, Louisiana and get ready for WrestleMania 34, where I'm not going to be at WrestleMania 34, but I will be at WrestleCon, making an appearance on Saturday, April 7th and Sunday, April 8th, I guess from about 9am to 3pm And I've been looking at the list of people there and try to round up a Couple of them, record some podcasts. Hell, I just got off the phone with the one and only Bill Watts. And I'll tell you what, maybe I'm going to hook up with Bill and get a chance to record a podcast. At the very least we're going to say hi to each other once we get there. Man, I'll tell you, growing up in the mid-80s and watching pro wrestling, like I've said many times before, when people ask me what my favorite promotion was, man, I got to go Mid south and NWA is right behind that or right up there in that same ranks with it. But man, there's something about Bill Watts territory when they was running Tulsa and oh, I mean that was a big ass territory. Those guys were traveling some miles back in the day and they had had a hellacious stack locker room with lots of talented guys that were drawing money and contributing to the program. And it seems like, you know, Bill Watts always ran a tight ship, great creative. Jim Ross obviously there doing the bulk of the announcing. And when they put Michael P.S. hayes on color commentary, I just thought it was just phenomenal. And just the action, the ring, the storyline and it goes back to being in the mid-80s and going back to an age when damn near wrestling was a shoot. Back then you really thought it was real. And don't get me wrong, I had a blast doing the stuff that I did in the early 90s, going into the mid-90s and attitude era and then when I wrapped up in about 2003, but just as a fan of the business going back to those days when I kind of thought it was a real actual sport, the Mid south territory was a real bright spot as far as watching wrestling. And then obviously that stuff, man, I always say mid-80s NWA was awesome as well and world class when I got there, was kind of on a decline. But that was a great territory. And obviously that's where I started where Jerry Jarrett bought that territory from Fritz Von Erich. And my first year in the business was really the back end of 1989 and going into 1990 when I would win the Pro Wrestling Illustrated Rookie of the Year, it might be a work, it might be a shoot, but due to a high profile program with my mentor and trainer, gentleman Chris Adams, you know, that propelled me to win the Pro Wrestling Illustrated Rookie of the Year. And it was really cool. I still have that very plaque that Bill Apter presented to me a long time ago. Well in 1990 that's a long ass time ago. It is scratched up, it is beaten up, it has been all over the place from the times I've moved all the way down to South Texas, over here to California, now in Nevada. So that damn thing has been with me and it'll be with me till I kick the bucket. I'm real proud of that award and you know, some of that stuff is a bunch of bullshit, but I'm proud of that damn award. But anyway, hell, I got off a little sidetrack talking about Bill Watts in mid south territory. I'm looking forward to going down there and seeing who I brush up against. I've been getting a lot of voicemails, people wanting to hook up and connect. Probably going to see DDP down there, Kevin Nash, some of my people that I really keep in touch with. But I'm looking forward to kind of meeting some of the people that I've watched over the years and never really got a chance to meet because God dang, there's going to be about 200 people there. And yesterday I spent, give or take, about six hours in a hotel room right down the road from my house in Marina Del Rey signing a lot of the stuff that needed to be signed before the event. Because if we did it during the event, we wouldn't have enough time to take care of everybody that wants to take pictures and do all that stuff. So man, I tell you what, I asked the guy, I said, how much time do you need or how much time do you think this is going to take? And he goes, oh, we ought to be able to get it done in two hours. And I was thinking to myself, man, two hours, that doesn't sound like a very long time. And I've been to some things where, man, you're in there for a long ass time. I haven't done any appearances, I haven't done any signings in 10 or 15 years. Anyway, I get in there and it's organized just like a laboratory. Total organization. Everything was stacked. Very neat guy pulling stuff out from under my hand when I signed the signature on it. And man, I tell you what, after about midway point, I drank a protein shake and just kept signing my damn name. That's what you do. And God dang, my wife keeps sending me text messages and she said, when are you going to be done? When are you going to get home? What's taking so long? My wife just walked in a room, she's going to join me here on a podcast. But hell, ended up taking about 6, 7 hours to sign everything that we needed to sign. And I told my wife, I said, man, I said, the club that we usually go to to get our margaritas is closed on Tuesdays. It's closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. So I said, we got to go somewhere because after signing my Damn name for 7 hours, I need to get a margarita and a cheeseburger. So I picked her ass up. Once I got done, we stopped, got a couple of margaritas and a cheeseburger, and then came back to the house. And I'm packing up my bag of Trix and I'm getting ready to head down there to russellcon, and I don't know when I'm gonna make another appearance. So, man, if you want to come down, if you're making a trip from wherever you're coming down, I will be there on the 7th and 8th from 9am to 3pm Hang on, Callie. I'm trying to cut a podcast over here. I'll be there from 9am to 3pm both days. And if there's any stragglers, we'll probably be there for a little bit. I'm looking forward to watching WrestleMania afterwards. I'll be watching it on my computer on the WWE Network, probably in the confines of my room. Anyway, let me cut this damn open off. I'm gonna come back. Kelly, you're killing me. This is the Steve Austin Show. All right, everybody. Welcome to Steve Austin Show. I'm sitting here across the podcast table for my wonderful, lovely, illustrious wife, Kristen. Kristen, welcome to the Steve Austin Show. I'm proud to have you on here.

[Kristen Austin]

Thank you, sweetheart.

[Steve Austin]

Well, something's up. Do you need to borrow some money? You'll never call me sweetheart.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I just listened to a voicemail from my mom. It was pretty cute. She apparently called the wrong number, and a guy answered, and instead of thinking she got the wrong number, she said, hi, sweetheart. And the guy said, well, I think you are the wrong number. She said, but he said, thanks for calling me, sweetheart. It was kind of cute.

[Steve Austin]

So I thought she didn't know the difference between a man voice and your voice.

[Kristen Austin]

Apparently not.

[Steve Austin]

Anyway, sweetheart, hey, man, let's start off the podcast. I was actually going to break down or give a preview and my predictions for the storylines heading into the biggest show of the year for WWE WrestleMania 34, which happens this Sunday on April 8th in New Orleans, Louisiana. Now, I'm going to be in New Orleans, Louisiana, on April 7th and 8th at the RussellCon Convention, signing autographs and taking pictures. And yesterday I spent about seven hours at the Marriott Hotel signing stuff. And they documented it all. And it was. Jesus Christ, that Was unbelievable because I told you.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, you said, I'll be gone two hours in the next.

[Steve Austin]

Dude told me. I said, hey, man, how long is this going to take? Because I don't know how much stuff he had. He says two hours. Cool. I went down to the protein shake. All of a sudden I'm looking around and you know, the pile ain't really getting smaller. And they keep bringing more and more stuff. And anytime you see those stacks of pictures, it just looks like a stack of pictures. It's about a foot, foot and a half tall. Well, you start separating those things into the little bitty posters and there's every bait. I'll put it down like this. There's a shit pile of them. And so I will sign him a name. Sign him a name. And Kristen starts texting me, everything. Okay, how's it going? Still there. When are you coming home? Are you hungry? Do you want me to bring you food? And I'm like trying to, you know, there's no cell phone reception. But I get the text because I'm dialed into the WI fi and I'm like, I ain't got time to text you back. I just sent you. Okay, I'm good. Anyway, finally I took a little bathroom break and I called Chris and I said, listen, I said, we're gonna have to go to the damn restaurant and get a margarita and a cheeseburger. Said, first of all, I'm starving because I only had a protein shake the whole damn day and I wanted a margarita because for some reason, when you write Stone cold Steve Austin all day long, well, seven hours worth. It kind of like I'm over it.

[Kristen Austin]

How many pictures, how many signs, autographs did you do?

[Steve Austin]

I think I did just about a little bit shy of 2000. And that was just kind of the pre orders and to take care of everybody before they get there. And some people can't make the event, so they sign the stuff and they send it back to them. So, man, there was four people working in that room and I was sitting there signing. So I mean, you talk about a process and they were extremely organized and they did a really good job and all that stuff. So anyway, I'm happy to be over, but hell, I'm looking forward to going down to New Orleans because when I was filming Expendables, you like going down there. I filmed that movie. I was number 32 on the call sheet. And when you're 32 on the call sheet and it's a pretty long shoot, that means you got a lot of Time on your hands. So you flew down there and we got a chance to walk around in the French Quarter, drink Bloody Marys. I was eating raw oysters. We were antique shopping, but that's a cool ass city.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, it is.

[Steve Austin]

And I never do autograph sessions. And really one of the big reasons I did this year, because I love New Orleans so much, I love the whole state of Louisiana because I have wrestled in every single medium to big sized town in that state and I played football against every single football team I got over there and I just love the food. That was one of the reasons. And also I just wanted to see a lot of the people that, you know, I crossed paths with in my wrestling career and a lot of people that I never got a chance to meet, but I watched what they did on, you know, through, you know, my whole entire life of watching pro wrestling. So I'm looking forward to going down there and just hanging out and, you know, having a couple of cold ones and just kicking it and I'll probably watch the event on my laptop. What are we gonna say?

[Kristen Austin]

What about the Bloody Marys? What? They have great Bloody Marys down there.

[Steve Austin]

Think about the bloody marriages. We was talking about this a while ago. When you go down there and you go to some of these places and try to get too fancy with the

[Kristen Austin]

Bloody Mary, they put too much food in them.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, the celery stalk is cool and a couple olives, that's it. But when they start going, what's, what's the other thing?

[Kristen Austin]

The shrimp and crawfish meatloaf

[Steve Austin]

hanging out your drink. Or an aquarium.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And then all of a sudden you get that. You get the odd shrimp or one of my wife's drink, who's a vegetarian. Well, that don't fly. Like, hey man, send this thing back. Or heaven forbid she take a sip of it, so then she's gonna get all queasy acting. But yeah, the Bloody Mary, it's an easy drink to make and it's an easy drink to drink, but it's also an easy drink to screw up if you put too much shit in it. So here's my words of wisdom to anybody at a bar or restaurant serving Bloody Marys. Don't put too much shit in there. Keep it basic, keep it real, and make sure you got some good ingredients. That's the bottom line. And put a bunch of ice in there. You and me were somewhere the other day and I knew the meal, I knew the experience was going to be the drizzling shits, right? From the get go when we ordered our iced tea and they brought our iced tea.

[Kristen Austin]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And there was about.

[Kristen Austin]

That was in Nevada.

[Steve Austin]

In Nevada.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And it was a quarter inch of ice on the top of our iced tea and it was a 16 ounce tumbler. I was madder than a hornet. Oh, yeah, that's that city.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Drinks are very specific. Anyway, I'm seguin off. I'm looking forward to going down there to New Orleans, Louisiana, seventh and eighth. I'll be at the Railscon convention. I'll start signing at 9am, stop at about 3. Unless there's people hanging around, we'll keep signing. But anyway, that's the end of the story on that. And I was going to segue into the cat story.

[Kristen Austin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Because I've been talking about this on a podcast for a little bit. Me and Kristen been noticing this black cat hanging around over here at 317 Gimmick street for quite some time. And it was like, man, the cat had a collar on it. It looked, you know, I just thought it was belonged to a neighbor. And the cat would come over and visit every now and then. But then we started seeing it more and more.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, and we started feeding it more and more.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, because I mean, you know, like you figured, man, the cat kind of looks hungry.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, I think so too.

[Steve Austin]

And you said, well, the cat, his collar kind of looks too tight.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, because I'm thinking, well, if we're feeding it, it's going to be gaining weight. So then the collar looked too tight.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, his neck's gonna get all jacked up. He's gonna strangle himself. Because we actually took, out of the goodness of our hearts, fed him. So we're feeding this cat and then all of a sudden we keep seeing him. He's hanging around, hanging around. It's like you're wondering, does this cat have a house? Does it have an owner?

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah. So I started asking the neighbors, you know, does anybody have a black cat? And nobody said they had a black cat. So then I thought, well, it's got to be abandoned then.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. So then you went one step further, placed an ad in the newspaper.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, that and then the Nextdoor app. I put a little note in there, but still nobody responded. And so we're like, well, I guess we have a new black cat.

[Steve Austin]

I know. So we kept feeding the cat. We fed the cat for about six months. And it first started off as a very simple process. Kristin bought a stainless steel feeding dish and some dry food. So whether it Was Kristen or myself just go over there with a handful of dry food and drop it in at night. But then, because we're such animal people, we're dog lovers, but we like animals. She had to get the wet food. So, hell, man, you'd be over here cracking a can of the wet food over dumping that thing in and putting the dry food on top of that. And the cat was in cat heaven. Yep. And so we just figured, man, I guess we got a cat now.

[Kristen Austin]

I bought it a house, bought it

[Steve Austin]

a little gimmick house, Bought us something to scratch on, and then you catch. You bought us some catnip. And I thought that was a work. No, that damn cat ate the shit out of stuff.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So anyway, but the thing had a collar on it. And you figured, man, we got to get this thing to the vet because it's going to strangle itself.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, after we decided it's basically our cat now because it hasn't left the yard, we better get it to the vet. Probably need shots. And maybe the collar is too tight.

[Steve Austin]

I thought it had to mange.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, the hair was kind of thinning. So, you know, we put it. We put all these things in our head thinking, you know, we're making this stuff up about it so we can qualify. Why we have a new cat. So anyway, I decided to buy a. Have a heart trap.

[Steve Austin]

She's going to buy have a heart trap so I could catch the cat, take it to a vet around the corner. It's like four blocks from our house. And so, man, we just want to go buy a trap for 40 bucks or whatever they call it.

[Kristen Austin]

It was 52, actually, $52.

[Steve Austin]

And just catch one cat and then retire the trap.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, and then I couldn't find any traps. I had to go to Amazon to buy one because. Because the pet stores don't carry them.

[Steve Austin]

Right, I know, but the point is, you. You asked around the neighborhood, and our neighbor across the street knew somebody who trapped, like, rodents and stuff.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, but he used to trap feral cats in there. That's what he said anyway. But I don't know how a cat would even get there.

[Steve Austin]

He brought over this little rectangular trap, and that damn thing was so small. I mean, you know, a rat could get in there, a squirrel could get in there, but the cat, no. A little bit of a stretch. And this is a leery cat that has been out in a while. We figure for we get to be five years old, yeah, he's pretty savvy,

[Kristen Austin]

but he would never let us get close to him. So that's why we had to buy the trap.

[Steve Austin]

So Kristen gets on Amazon and. Jesus Christ. I mean, that's all. That's the only way you shop these days.

[Kristen Austin]

I love Amazon. Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

What makes me mad about Amazon? I dig how they deliver, but the fact I ain't paying no taxes on all that stuff. Don't let me get started.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, go back to the cat.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, so I'll go back to cat, But Jesus Christ, everything's on Amazon. It's easy to shop. So all of a sudden, here comes the Havahart trap through Amazon. I unbox it. It's like when John Travolta or Samuel L. Jackson opened up the briefcase in Pulp fiction and started shining that gold. So there was a Havahart trap. The only thing was left to do was go out there and set it and try to capture the cat. But there's some strategy involved. Kris, and break out the strategy so we don't spook the cat.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I read online that you should first put it outside so the cat gets used to it being in its yard. So we set it out there for a few days, and then we put a towel over it to make it look like it was more homey. And then it said, don't feed the cat for a while. I didn't feed it for two days. I wasn't going to starve the poor thing to get him in the trap, so I didn't feed him for two days. And then I went to the store, and I found this delicious piece of tuna loin.

[Steve Austin]

What is a tuna loin? Where is the loin on the tuna?

[Kristen Austin]

I have no idea, but it looked good.

[Steve Austin]

Justice said, there's no way you could have come from my loins. So I don't know where the loin is on a tuna.

[Kristen Austin]

I don't either, but it looked good.

[Steve Austin]

It did.

[Kristen Austin]

And it was $2.99.

[Steve Austin]

I love the price.

[Kristen Austin]

So I. I put the tuna loin inside the trap and watched the cat for hours.

[Steve Austin]

And Kristen, she's peering through the bushes, and I was like, wonder woman, catch the cat. And I'm like, jesus Christ, you just set the thing 10 minutes ago. It ain't like he's just going to go jump in there. He's leery. You placed an object. He's. The trap has been in the driveway for two days. He's still getting used to it.

[Kristen Austin]

I know.

[Steve Austin]

So I understand the fact that you got to acclimate him and you just want to. Hey, it's like you've walked in the house before and seen something that wasn't supposed to be there.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

Scared the shit out of you. So the same thing with a cat.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, this cat was pretty leery, too.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, he's pretty smart. But anyway, go ahead with the story.

[Kristen Austin]

So for hours it goes by. He's just staring at the trap sitting right by, right. Right next to it. And so I thought, well, I'm gonna go get. Get some dry food and put a trail leading into the trap.

[Steve Austin]

It's like. It's like, you know, the cat, he's pretty smart, but it's almost like telling a dummy, come on in, come on in. That's what we're doing. So she laid down the invitation in a strip of cat food.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah. So lo and behold, I, you know, go. Go back to our house, Peer through the. The bushes for another couple hours and go back in. And you were doing something. So then I thought, well, I'll just go right back out and check. He looks like he's really, really close to it. And sure enough, he's inside. I could not believe it. So I ran back to get you because I got nervous. I'm like, I fail so bad. The cat's inside this damn trap. We gotta take it to the vet. Now.

[Steve Austin]

Two things were going on. She was extremely excited. We caught the cat because now we can get the cat to the vet to get the medical attention we think it so needs.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

The collar's too tight. It's dying of the mane and rabies and everything else. And she also is worried about the duress that the cat can't get out of the trap because the little door shut. He's trapped in there. So he's a little panicked. Well, at least we had the towel on top of the trap. I grabbed the handle. Open up the suv. Yeah, man. I'm like, I ain't open to have a heart. Crap. Somebody's gonna scratch out my eyes.

[Kristen Austin]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And Kristen had called the vet, which is four blocks away, and said, hey, man, we got this cat. You know, we'd like to bring it in. Blah, blah, blah. It's one of those cases where the vet was really close. They were wide open, which is very rare here in the streets of Los Angeles. And they were super friendly, and they're very nice. They were awesome.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So we take the cat in there. Is that the cat? Yep. Here's the cat.

[Kristen Austin]

And here we're thinking they're going to have to drug it to get up.

[Steve Austin]

And you guys, I'm sitting there telling them how to do it. Like, they're about to have a wrestling match with this cat. Probably got to put some tranquilizers in it, get that collar off. You'll get scratched.

[Kristen Austin]

Maybe surgery.

[Steve Austin]

I'm trying to tell them what to do. It's like, dude, you know, shut the f up is kind of what we do here. This ain't a pro wrestling ring. So they went back here, and next

[Kristen Austin]

thing we know, here comes the collar.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. And so here comes the collar, and it's like, well, was it really tight? No, it was fine. Well, does the cat have mange?

[Kristen Austin]

No, just fleas.

[Steve Austin]

Just a couple of fleas. We gave it a tablet or whatever they gave for it. And so we're going to do some other things, and we'll put it in a kennel, and we'll bring it out to you. And there's Kristen. I can see her gear spinning in her head as she's holding that little collar. Because on that collar is a tag, and on that tag is a phone number. What was going through your mind?

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I was thinking if I dial this phone number, it's going to be the person that allegedly abandoned this cat. And you just don't know who you're going to get on the other line. You know, it could be some crazy person. Maybe someone doesn't want the cat. So I thought, well, everybody's staring at me in the vet office. I got to call this number.

[Steve Austin]

Well, I mean, and that's why they put the number on it to begin with. But. But to your point, man, because in south Texas is you've rescued so many dogs. I mean, it would. It would. It would.

[Kristen Austin]

People would get mad at me.

[Steve Austin]

I would be perplexed rather than angered because it was your. Your passion, right? Animals. Like, if we saw a dog on the side road, we take a damn thing. The ranch start calling around. Well, it belonged to a ranch right down the road. They just. That's just where the animals are over. But also, we've seen so many dogs abandoned.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

And our trips back and forth to Texas, we just hate to see one like.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

And then when you call them numbers, be like, okay, this is a. Let's dirt bag. That. Not taking care of the cat like I'm supposed to.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

But anyway, the story takes a twist. So there you are. You got the number, and you decide to call.

[Kristen Austin]

I decide to call. And she picks up. It was a she. And I said, well, I'm calling because I have a collar with your phone number on it that, you know, I just discovered A cat was wearing it and thought I'd give it a call. And there was silence on the other end for about three seconds. And she said, you have my cat? I said, yeah, I have him in a kennel right now. She said, you got to be kidding me. I said, no, I have him. She said, he's been missing. And I always thought it was a girl, but, yeah, he's been missing since October 28, 2016. I said, what? I said, I've only been caring for him about six months, so I don't know what happened to him for the last year and a half. I said, well, do you want to come get him? And she said, yeah. We live in Sherman oaks, which is 30 miles away. And so we're all sitting there on the phone thinking, how in the heck did that cat get over the hill on the 405 Freeway and get to the marina?

[Steve Austin]

There's no way 30 miles of concrete between here and there. And I'm wondering if he crawled up, because remember, remember I told you at that time I started up the Ford Focus and that while I was talking to Teddy on the podcast. But I told you the story. That cat come boring out of there.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And so it crawled up in the hood of that car just to get some shelter. And someone was telling me a story the other day. Well, your brother.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

A car, a cat. A car. Had a car. Had car. It's easier for me to say, leave that in there, Sean. A cat had crawled up in his truck, and when he went home, you know, the cat was in a new location because it stayed there. So. But. But 30 miles down to 405.

[Kristen Austin]

I don't think so.

[Steve Austin]

I don't think so.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, she thinks, because, you know, it's during Halloween perhaps, maybe somebody kidnapped a black cat for some strange reason, y'

[Steve Austin]

all were floating that theory around. But I. That one didn't hold water with me. I don't think anybody would just jack some cat off the street as a rib to bring a black cat to a party because it's Halloween.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I don't know. It's very strange that ended up 30 miles away from its home.

[Steve Austin]

But anyway, that lady, I was in there watching to make a call, I was like, man, she was like, you what? I thought it was dead.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And so, man. So anyway, so we thought the lady was going to wait for like a couple hours because it was rush hour traffic and she was coming from Sherman Oaks. And that is when it's rush hour here and you're going from there. To here, it is an absolute cluster mud. And, man, all of a sudden, you're figuring she's going to be here like seven, eight. One hour later, Krista says, I'm gonna go check on a cat. I said, well, I'll go with you. And the lady had just sent a text. She was already there. So I'm going over to put my flip flops on and put some clothes on and go over there and check it out. And y' all walking up to the door. And we had brought the cat in the kennel over here to 317 Gimmick street and the two girls that were extremely nice.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And I was like, man, this. This. I'm thinking this girl, maybe you called the number, now she's just over to get a free cat, or, you know, the cat's going to scratch your eyes out because.

[Kristen Austin]

And I kept on telling her, I said, this woman was very excited on the other end. I'm feeling very confident about this, you know.

[Steve Austin]

So what happened? You guys came in because I was trailing right behind.

[Kristen Austin]

She came in and immediately opened up the kennel, grabbed the cat. I was nervous because I'm like, man, this thing's going to scratch the, you know, f out of her. And so, no, she grabbed that cat and held it so tight. And it was a very tearful reunion, to say the least.

[Steve Austin]

But first, because I was there when she pulled out of that damn box. And I'm saying, man, this chick's gonna get her ass grass. And then that cat, the cat was a little resistance. Give the cat's name Hamlet. The cat's name was Hamlet. This wasn't a Shakespearean tragedy. There was a happy ending.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So anyway, man, that girl grabbed on that cat, and I was thinking, man, you gonna get scratched. And that cat, that cat was almost like he didn't know where to shit away in his watch. He's like, is this really you? Is this really you? And it was. That girl had owned that cat for, like, four years or three and a half and had been this for a year and a half, and they were, like, extremely tight. And all of a sudden, that cat realized it was her. And cats are different than dogs, and we're dog people, but you could see there was a bond there. And, man, that cat, it was a mess. Yeah, mess. Because after they left, you know, when that girl got the cat home, she sent Kristen a couple of pictures because they had exchanged numbers and all that, because Kristen called her, obviously, but she sent a couple of pictures of her holding that cat. And that Cat on like a Chester drawers and just hanging out.

[Kristen Austin]

Sitting on the TV stand.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, on a TV stand all over

[Kristen Austin]

the house with the dogs. She's got dogs.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. But the one draped on her back who just has his arms extended is just like that cat loved her and she loved that cat. And you can see like when I would look at the cat in the front yard here, it was just a cat that I figured was a neighborhood roamer, right. And when I saw his eyes were like so big and blue and relaxed and content and happy. It was a different cat being at her house with, you know, back with her owner. Whole different animal. Oh yeah, it was amazing.

[Kristen Austin]

It was a great story. And it just made me feel so good to have, to have reunited them, you know, it just was.

[Steve Austin]

But that girl was so happy and she was tell. She was. Well, she, she, she walked dogs.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And she was an extreme animal lover. But it was really cool.

[Kristen Austin]

It was.

[Steve Austin]

I was over. I was about to start crying, but. But it was cool, man.

[Kristen Austin]

I was, I was pretty teary eyed.

[Steve Austin]

So what I figured, man, we'd just get us like, like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, maybe you and me get a couple of business cards made up. Someone got a missing cat or missing dog, we'll go out and find them. Like we go with bounty hunters and locators and then we can trap. Now you get a whole string of have a heart traps. We'll go into business. Chris, we could. We got a Yukon Denali xl. Plenty of room for Havahart traps back here. Riding all over the city, checking our trap lines. Almost like Mitch riding up there in Nevada.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I did send Mitch a text. I said I trapped my first animal.

[Steve Austin]

But now, since you trapped the cat, got it back to his rightful owner, Right. What I think would be a good thing to do would for be for me to appoint you the head of the trapping committee down in Nevada on our Property at the BSR 2.0 to catch that skunk and that muskrat. Because the skunk is hanging out in the backyard and in the front yard and he's going to spray one of these dogs.

[Kristen Austin]

Yes, he is.

[Steve Austin]

And that one time that Hershey got sprayed. Sprayed. And it burned her eyes and she smelled like for six weeks. I'd like to put you in charge of that skunk and that muskrat that's in the pond. And I'll relocate them. But you've got to trap them.

[Kristen Austin]

I'll do it. I'll do it.

[Steve Austin]

But see, now you have to read up on your Skunk and yeah. Trapping techniques.

[Kristen Austin]

Because, you know, I don't know, probably a whole different. Different way because you can't withhold food, obviously from a skunk or a muskrat.

[Steve Austin]

You know what? I don't even know what skunk. See, but that. But I'll tell you what, that's a big ass skunk. Because that one time I went out there fumbling around with that stupid ass. 22 fancy ass, you know, three magazines in one. I couldn't get the magazine to stick in there. I would have been a dead skunk.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, don't tell me how you're going to relocate it, please, because I may not trap it.

[Steve Austin]

No. Why not? I. Believe me. I'll put a tarp over or I'll carry a big, big 10 by 10 tarp and I'll walk up to the damn thing because I ain't getting squirted. I seen too many suckers get squirted by skunks. And I did my research on YouTube and that is one thing that ain't gonna happen to me. But I'm gonna. I'll lasso that thing down with that tarp, pick his ass up and get him off the property. But. And I gotta figure out a way. I gotta figure a way to tranquilize you. I gotta open the door. That trap, well, I'll save that for a whole nother podcast for a whole nother time.

[Kristen Austin]

But I want to say one thing about the cat, about Hamlet. He also was microchipped. So I just. A plug. It's a very good idea to microchip your pets.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, microchip your pets. And the. The cat also had a tag on with the phone number, but it was just. We couldn't get within 20ft.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

And we had fed it for six months. And then Kristen just finally said, man, we were just trapping it for the good of the cat.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

Because we couldn't see the number on.

[Kristen Austin]

That's amazing. The story behind it. So. Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

But that girl was so happy and that cat was so happy.

[Kristen Austin]

The cat is so happy.

[Steve Austin]

Here's the thing. When that cat was out here and you bought that water dish for it because you were amazed at how much water was there.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So it's amazing because I didn't know cats drink water.

[Kristen Austin]

Really?

[Steve Austin]

I don't know. Yeah, we're dog people. But when a cat goes from being in a very caring environment, and it was kind of like an indoor outdoor

[Kristen Austin]

cat, he's currently an indoor cat now,

[Steve Austin]

but it's like, where do you get your Water from when you're out on Main Street.

[Kristen Austin]

I don't know how this cat survived a whole year without any attention.

[Steve Austin]

Year and a half.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So I give a swig a day. I'm gonna drink a tequila tonight. Swig.

[Kristen Austin]

You are?

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, I am. Just telling that story just made me want to drink. Basically any story makes me want to drink. But God dang, it's getting up. It's starting to get late, and I'm gonna. I'm cooking. I cook chicken thighs today. I chicken thighs all day today for my meals, and I'm cooking salmon at night. But God dang, my wife, as good a cook as you are. We've got to tell this brisket story because I was on a. A mission the other day and I got on some good brisket. It was probably the best brisket I've had in the last 15 or 20 years, maybe in my life. That's how good this brisket was.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, and you talked to the guy, how he prepared it and everything?

[Steve Austin]

Everything. I got the total 41 1. So I knew how to do this. But my wife being a cook.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I was at Gelson's and I was walking by the meat section and there were all these briskets. I guess people make brisket for Easter or something. So I thought, hmm, I'm gonna try to make brisket for my wonderful husband.

[Steve Austin]

And think about this. I mean, when I was talking to the guy, he was talking about smoking this thing, and he had a big ass pit, and he puts it way away from the heat source from the box. And he's running hickory or whatever combination of wood he's running. And he's using the heat within that chamber. But it's not direct heat.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, we just have that little tiny.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, I was using a little Traeger portable grill, which is wonderful for cooking my chicken. Chicken and fish and stuff like that. Because, man, this stuff is done in anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes. Like I was telling the guy to cook his brisket. I'm so add I ain't got seven hours to tend to a brisket. And while it gets barked up in the cooking process, spritz it and squirt it with the concoction that he told me to put on that damn thing.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I got a small one. I figured it'd be a lot easier.

[Steve Austin]

Well, I know, but so anyway, we put the damn brisket.

[Kristen Austin]

Three pound.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, three. A. Three pound brisket that was going to

[Kristen Austin]

shrink down to a pound.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, it wasn't really a brisket. It was A brick. So the brisket.

[Kristen Austin]

No, it was a brick, actually.

[Steve Austin]

It turned into a brick. So we're out there, I'm squirting that little bastard down every hour and finally gets time to take it off. And I go to cutting that damn thing up, and it's like cutting into a damn shoe. It wasn't worth a flying shit. And I tried to eat a couple of slices of it. I was like, God dang, this the worst brisket I ever had in my life. This thing. I ain't gonna be able to salvage this thing. And then Kristen got the big idea and started chopping it up.

[Kristen Austin]

I wasn't gonna waste.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. When she started chopping it up and making chop brisket out of it. And because once you do that, all you do is just pour a bunch of barbecue sauce on top of it and you save it.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

But, you know, it wasn't anything like the experience I'd had the day before. So I was like, mother effort. You kidding me? We put all this time, three hours into cooking this brisket. But your problem was in that little pit, there's no room to put it away from the heat source.

[Kristen Austin]

No.

[Steve Austin]

And so it's supposed to take a lot longer.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, we didn't know that until we did the second one.

[Steve Austin]

So the next day, we get the big, you know, the big idea. Since we f that one up, we'll try another one. We'll get a bigger one. And the pit hadn't grown any.

[Kristen Austin]

No. But we got a six pound brisket now.

[Steve Austin]

Got a six pound brisket. Kristen.

[Kristen Austin]

With a little more marbling, because I thought marlin.

[Steve Austin]

And so we go through the same process. That thing hit above 60. I pulled it out, wrapped it up

[Kristen Austin]

in full, did everything.

[Steve Austin]

Did everything. Did the whole. Everything that the guy told me to do, we did. And when it hit 200 degrees, I pulled it and I let it rest for about an hour.

[Kristen Austin]

We put. We put it in the dryer.

[Steve Austin]

I told Christmas, because the dude, when he pulls his brisket off, he kind of puts his in, like, a cooler. He'll wrap it in some, like, the butcher paper or whatever it is. It just sits in the cooler.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

He'll let it rest for two to three hours. And this is talking about, you know, a regular sized brisket of about £14. And he always says, buy the best quality meat that you can. And we bought a good cut of meat. We didn't have enough marbling on it.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

And we were cooking over direct heat source. But nonetheless, since Kristen had just torn up that styrofoam cooler the day before.

[Kristen Austin]

I'm so eager to get rid of stuff. Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

I was like, man, you should have kept that damn cooler. So we, we wrapped, I'd already wrapped it in the fall. We put it in a one of baking pans and Kristen had a load of laundry in the dryer. Why did you pick the dryer to put that submission in?

[Kristen Austin]

I figured it's an insulated enclosed space.

[Steve Austin]

Sound like a cooler.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

So anyway, we put the brisket.

[Kristen Austin]

I didn't turn the dryer on though.

[Steve Austin]

Tumble dry, please. So we put the brisket in the dryer. Yeah. I probably got an IQ of like 90. My wife's probably around 160. So we come up with ingenious decision to put the brisket in the dryer after about an hour when the bell went off.

[Kristen Austin]

Clothes smell like brisket.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. I walked in, I walked in the gimmick dope shop and the guy said, who's eating barbecue?

[Kristen Austin]

You have a bunch of dogs chasing you.

[Steve Austin]

Kristen smells like pot and I smell like brisket. What a couple. Smelling the pot made me hungry. Eating the brisket fill my belly up. I'm a combination of both. Okay. So anyway, I start cutting in this some after we let it rest. After I pull it out of the dryer. Kristen was folding the laundry. I was cutting the brisket. And this son was tougher than you. So I chopped it up, poured barbecue sauce on it, and ate it the same goddamn way we did the first one. I was madder than a hornet. I'm so sick and tired of brisket. I had like a world, world class brisket on one day and two days in a row to totally the bed. You said brisket.

[Kristen Austin]

I'm so done with brisket now, I'm not going to be making it anytime soon.

[Steve Austin]

We've been trying to get back to Nevada. I got a big Traeger smoker. Over that submission is the big family size model. I don't know what which model it

[Kristen Austin]

is, but it's huge.

[Steve Austin]

So we're going to get a regular size brisket.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And we're going to go through the whole process and protocol.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And I'm going smoke at sunbits for seven hours. I mean, I, I, I don't remember anything. It's like I'll forget a high spot tackle, drop down, hip toss. What? But I remember verbatim the cooking instructions for this brisket.

[Kristen Austin]

So you did Nevada.

[Steve Austin]

We going to cook it? Something's right. And if it turns out great, that means I'LL probably start entering barbecue contest going all over the country. I might as well get back on the road. I think taking bumps in a squared circle would be easier. But the guy that I learned this from, he was like one of those competitive bars. And that's some. I mean you talk about a passion for cooking and he knew his. But anyway,

[Kristen Austin]

it's different. Passion for barbecue, passion for cooking, you know.

[Steve Austin]

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[Steve Austin]

This is the Steve Austin Show. All right. Continuing the conversation with my illustrious wife Kristen over here at 317 Gimmick Street. Man, I want to talk about something that is always hard for me to find is something to watch on television. I'm extremely picky as you are, but you'll watch. You watch all that subtitle stuff and read all the damn stuff like that. Foreign movies that don't really work for me. But one thing we finally agreed upon the other day was a documentary called Wild, Wild Country.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, you didn't. You weren't going to watch it at first, though. I had to actually turn it on while you were sitting there on your computer fiddling around. You don't believe me when I tell you something's good. That somebody told me it was going to be good. A trusted, valued person that told me, this is a great documentary.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, because we sit here living in Los Angeles, 13 million people. And even though it's 13 million people, I'm a hermit. You actually have a social life. You go to Zumba, you go to the gym. You have this group of friends that you hang around with. So y' all actually have conversations. They can get some 411 to you. Me, I got my head in the sand over here trying to do a podcast, and it just sucks, you know, being here in the city. I just wanted to get to Nevada.

[Kristen Austin]

I know.

[Steve Austin]

Cover that a little bit. But anyway, I'm real bad about picking something to watch because going way back in the day, I'll tell this story real quickly because I've told it before. But back in the day, when that movie Dances With Wolves came out, I was like, that's the dumbest sounding name for a movie anywhere. I was like, who would want to watch that? What's it about? Well, after I finally watched it, years later, it became one of my favorite movies. I've probably seen Kevin Costner and dancing with Wolf 10 times. So I'm bad about judging a documentary or a movie on its name. And, like, Wild, Wild Country. I'm thinking, okay, wild Horses. You know, it's out in the west or something like that. Well, I'm on the Wikipedia page. It just says Wild Wild country is a Netflix documentary series based on the controversial Indian guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and the community Rajneesh Puram of his followers in Oregon. It was released on March 16, 2018. That's wild wild Country Wikipedia page. They started off over in India, and I guess they got some heat on them or whatever. They need to expand, and they bought 64,000 acres in Oregon. The guru dude, the Bhagwan. I didn't understand what the draw was because it's a very, very interesting documentary, and it's only like six episodes long. And Kristen started playing it, and I was like, man, what the f is this? And of course, then I got roped in because, you know, seeing what's up here. So I started tuning in, and I folded up my laptop Computer. So we watched it, you know, one episode at a time to finish. Yeah, I didn't see why the followers followed the sound bitch.

[Kristen Austin]

I don't either. But it was a very interesting docu series. I really enjoyed it.

[Steve Austin]

One of the things that they didn't really talk about, they didn't talk about no drugs.

[Kristen Austin]

Those people had to be on drugs.

[Steve Austin]

Do what?

[Kristen Austin]

They had to be on drugs.

[Steve Austin]

They had to be, because they couldn't be. They were running around, skipping, happy, holding hands, jumping up and down in the weird.

[Kristen Austin]

It was weird.

[Steve Austin]

And all had that. That look on their face. I think it was tripping on LSD or something. And the thing about this was one of the reasons I wanted to watch it because first of all, it was an interesting subject and it's a very good documentary, very well done. But it happened between, you know, the stateside part of it happened between 1980 and 85. And that's, you know, I graduated high school in 83, then went to college. So my mind was focused on the next step and playing football. So I wasn't paying attention to anything else.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I don't know if it really made national headlines, though.

[Steve Austin]

Well, it made statewide headlines over there. Yeah, it did make national headlines. I was just busy doing other things. Yeah, but because it was. It was almost kind of like. It was almost like a version of Jonestown. Yeah, but without the mass.

[Kristen Austin]

But then all those other weird factors that went into like the bioterrorism and.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, yeah, that was crazy. Yeah. It was the first time anything like that had ever happened in the United States of America.

[Kristen Austin]

So we can't give too much away,

[Steve Austin]

but I want to give anything away. Yeah, but man, them people where they moved that community to weren't too chili red hot about the whole idea.

[Kristen Austin]

They. They tore up whole community apart really.

[Steve Austin]

Well, it is trying to take over the state.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Anyway, not to go. It's interesting, but I highly recommend it.

[Kristen Austin]

Yes.

[Steve Austin]

I mean, them people were into some weird stuff. I mean, some weird shit.

[Kristen Austin]

There's one very awkward scene, I think it was in the second episode that we both kind of turned our head and we're like, what the.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, this is a little different. But. But they didn't go down that rabbit hole and they got back to the task at hand. And the. One of the real interesting characters was his right hand person was Sheila. And man. But she basically was.

[Kristen Austin]

She ran the show.

[Steve Austin]

She ran the show and that she was different.

[Kristen Austin]

And we can't figure why these people followed this guru, but they didn't Just follow him.

[Steve Austin]

They gave him all their money.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Because these weren't just a bunch of hippie folks. A lot of them had dough.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

Because this one couple says they give the dude a couple hundred grand.

[Kristen Austin]

Well. And he's driving Rolls Royces around.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, like, I got to give. I got to give him props. I mean, at least we're having like 16 or 18 rolls roll Royces now. You think you might want to diversify, get a Bentley, a Mercedes, you know, something else. Dude had like 16 or 18 Rolls Royces.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So that's some dough right there. But anyway, that's a good thing that I would recommend in watching. But I want to jump off Chris and pet peeves, because I was coming home the other day and I'm listening right now, this God dang dog yapping next door. And I'm sure my microphone probably picking it up because I'm talking kind of loud and mula just came over. But this damn dog next door, it's

[Kristen Austin]

a small, yappy dog, man. And they leave it outside.

[Steve Austin]

Well, even when they take it inside, the. Some bitch is barking, you know, he's got the loudest voice right now it's bothering me here. It's bothering when we go home next door, a whole house away, and it's like, how do the people put up with that shit?

[Kristen Austin]

I don't know. Because I can't stand it when Callie barks in the house.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, tomorrow. And I've been meaning to do this the other day, this past weekend, it was like Good Friday. And then Saturday got away from me. And then it was Easter.

[Kristen Austin]

I went to Best Buy and they

[Steve Austin]

were closed to Best Buy to get me a gimmick speaker. Because I'm fixing to. I fix to crank the jams up over here. I'm going to leave it at that. Okay. And Best Buy was closed on Sunday. On Easter Sunday. I get it. It's a national chain. It's a religious holiday. You close down. Everybody's closed down for Easter. But when I want a gimmick speaker, God dang, I want it now. And I couldn't get it now, which was then.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

But now I need it now. Now you need it to crank it up so I can drown out that pesky little vermin dog over there. I mean, it's so much that it's really bothering me, Chris.

[Kristen Austin]

It is the loudest dog I've ever heard. It's got the loudest voice and it never stops.

[Steve Austin]

It's driving me to drinking. At least that's my excuse.

[Kristen Austin]

But what's worse is the guy in the back alley sanding his van in prep of painting it.

[Steve Austin]

I'm all about a do it yourself project. We heard this God awful noise coming right behind the alley in our house. And then all the houses or all the neighborhoods in Los Angeles, alley behind your friggin house. So the neighbor back there, he's got this project. Well, it's not his van, it's his friend's van. And somebody's been parked over for a long time. I didn't know what the noise was. It was just this loud ass, obnoxious noise. And it would last for like eight hours at a stretch. And we're like, what in the flying F are they doing over there? Finally, after about a week of this, I was so perplexed because this is a dude that will get up. He ain't gonna get up. He's already up at 12.30am, 1am, take his shop back and just vacuum his

[Kristen Austin]

entire car for hours.

[Steve Austin]

For hours.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

It's the cleanest interior out of any car in Los Angeles. You can perform surgery in that car. So now they're out there and they're making all this noise and I go back, I open the gate and they're sanding on that bucket van back there. It's a black van and they're sand down and it's all rusted out. It's like a bucket of shit. I'm surprised by the time they've been standing on this thing so long, I'm surprised that there's not just a couple of seats and a chassis sitting there. They're just going to grind it to death. They're going to sand it to death. What color are they going to paint it? That's the million dollar question.

[Kristen Austin]

I can't wait to see whenever and

[Steve Austin]

whatever color they painted, I'm going to tell you right here on the podcast. But right now it's really chapping my ass because you think there'd be some type of protocol etiquette or like heads up or you know what?

[Kristen Austin]

Well, you try to be a good neighbor and you try to be quiet because you don't want to offend anybody. But here it's like you got the barking dog people, you got the van with the sander, you got the German Shepherds across the street, we've got trash trucks, we got sirens, we got helicopters, we got people blasting their music. We got the kids across the street having frat parties every weekend and we're like ready to pull our hair out.

[Steve Austin]

And the Damn. Some bitch who rides that damn chopper back and forth in front of the house. She's only got like a one block radius. He rides this loud ass chopper and it's right up and down in front of my. Our damn house. And why I don't ride that. I can't even cuss on a podcast as much as I want to anymore. Go ride that pile of shit somewhere else, I'm begging you. Or let me take it to the muffler shop and get a muffler put on it.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I don't understand the idea behind having a loud motorcycle. What is that?

[Steve Austin]

Now when you're on one and it's you making a noise, it's pretty cool.

[Kristen Austin]

Okay?

[Steve Austin]

It's that exhaust. Notice. The same as being in a badass car. So I can understand it when you're driving it, but when you got it, because it's a participation thing and it's the vibe, okay? It's a whole thing.

[Kristen Austin]

It must be a guy thing.

[Steve Austin]

No, no, but the chicks okay, that ride, they dig it too. And I think it also, the, the rumor is it also helps in traffic because the traffic can hear you if you're.

[Kristen Austin]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

That's kind of a. What? What? A rumor or wives tale. I think it's true.

[Kristen Austin]

But nonetheless, that would make sense.

[Steve Austin]

When you're making a noise, it don't bother you, right? Like a dog, that barking don't bother him. That's what. But it's modern and shit out of me. I'm going to get that dog, put it in a backpack, ride that some bitch around a goddamn block on a chopper without the muffler on it. Yeah, I'm going to give them a dose of their own medicine. I'm going to get my payback. Another thing that gets on my nerves is I was coming home the other day this way on Washington Boulevard. And here comes ambulance, sirens blazing, light spinning blue, red, white. Emergency. Emergency. We're going to save somebody's ass. Everybody pull off the road so we can come through. Well, there's a red light right there. Callie, shut up. I'm right in the middle of telling an impending and really important story. Here comes cars making a left hand turn, going right in front of the ambulance. And the ambulance has to slow down, swerve to the right to avoid T boning the car that was too stupid or too caught up in his own system or sending text messages.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, people don't pull over in la. I don't know what the deal is

[Steve Austin]

because they're scared they're going to lose their place in line because there's so much goddamn traffic.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, you're right about that.

[Steve Austin]

So anyway, the ambulance almost t bones the car. And if the ambulance would have t boned the car, they had to call two ambulances. One to continue the original mission and then one to attend to the ambulance and just got t boned because the dude ran a red light. I don't know, man. And another thing that bothers me while I'm on things that bother me is I was sitting there in traffic once again the other day in Los Angeles, traffic at a stoplight. And this is like you were with me.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, we have a real quality, quality of life here in L. A. Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

That's why I. Believe me, when I get back from WrestleMania WrestleCon in New Orleans on the 7th and 8th, I'm telling you, we're going to Nevada. Yeah, but we have about a week of activities before that. We take care of business, but then we're going to Nevada. Because when we're out there and ain't nothing but horses quiet, front yard rolling around, chasing each other, pulling shenanigans and cows mowing. Yeah, heaven. Back to my little pet peeve section here. I know I've said it before, but you and me was in the same car riding down the road the other day, and we pulled up behind.

[Kristen Austin]

Let me guess, Prius.

[Steve Austin]

And what was the Toyota Prius driver doing while trying to be green and drive a hybrid and protect our ozone layer? Kristen?

[Kristen Austin]

Smoking a cigarette.

[Steve Austin]

Smoking a big fat ass cigarette hanging out the side of the window. The damn things, those cars are kind of lowed down. This dude must have been about 6, 7. A cigarette was almost on the ground. Either that or he lowered the Prius. And you don't see that too often. A low rider Prius. And I'm sitting there thinking as the smoke was just billowing off this thing. And don't even get me started on vaporizer people or whatever, when they blow

[Kristen Austin]

them, like a cloud comes out. E cigarette, maybe. E cigarette, I don't know.

[Steve Austin]

Whatever the hell it is. You know those people that make all the smoke, the vapors actually. Vapors, they actually have contests to see who can make them.

[Kristen Austin]

They do.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, yeah. It's the dumbest I've ever heard.

[Kristen Austin]

Oh.

[Steve Austin]

But anyway, this dude has a cigarette. You and me are john back and forth about it, right? Well, if the sun is trying to be so green to protect the environment, why has he got a damn cigarette?

[Kristen Austin]

And then the topper is the coup de Gr.

[Steve Austin]

Go ahead.

[Kristen Austin]

He drops the cigarette onto the street.

[Steve Austin]

He dropped the cigarette on the mean streets of Los Angeles, California. And as a resident right now of the city of Los Angeles, it offended me.

[Kristen Austin]

That really bothers me.

[Steve Austin]

There's one thing, you know, back in the day when you're a kid and you do stupid, you know, you throw a bottle on the side of the road, right? But not as an adult.

[Kristen Austin]

Not.

[Steve Austin]

Not in 2008. In 75 or 80. Yeah, you could do it and it didn't bother you so bad. But now you get some wherewithal and some you want to be. You want to take care of the earth. The dude's driving the Prius. He's smoking a cigarette. He's got a shit. Can his cigarette happen? Does a Toyota Prius not have an ashtray?

[Kristen Austin]

They may not, because maybe they don't think Prius drivers would be smoking cigarettes since they bought the car to help with the environment.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, here's something stupid. Back in the day, when I first met you, I was driving a Porsche Cayenne Turbo, remember?

[Kristen Austin]

Yep.

[Steve Austin]

And I got the non smokers package, right? Which means simply, they don't put any cigarette lighters or an ashtray in it. So the problem with that is where do you plug in your radar detector, your phone charger? All that bullshit you talk about out working themselves. So surely going back to the Prius, not to segue on the fact that. That they didn't have anything to plug an electronic device into.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, nobody uses a radar detector in Los Angeles.

[Steve Austin]

Well, you got to plug in a cell phone back to the Prius. If you're a smoker, do the right thing. Have a little like. It's like having a spit cup.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Have a cup with some water with something damp down there so you can drop your cigarette. Don't just throw the summits on the side of the road. Nothing bothers me more than that.

[Kristen Austin]

I know. Well, that's my biggest pet peeve.

[Steve Austin]

I'll tell you what else bothers me. I didn't know we was going to the store. I opened the door for you. Here comes some dude behind me. There's a dude, but, you know, I held a door open for him. Dude just walked in like I was invisible. I wear camouflage all the time. But I'm pretty. I'm pretty sure that, you know, it wasn't like a John Cena. You can't see me. I weigh 255 lb.lbs. i just held a dope for your ass. You would think. Now, I wasn't asking for him to thank me. But as something, you know, that is like etiquette, manners, protocol, Someone holds the door open for me, a lady, even, you know, close proximity. A lady held dope for me a couple days ago. Thank you. I held dope for a lady today. She said thank you. Dude comes by to say shit. Well, say thank you. I'm not there to open the door for you. I'm not a doorman. I'm just trying to show you and express them. I could be.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, you could be.

[Steve Austin]

I'm good at opening doors. But if somebody does a random act of kindness for you, which is few and far between, in today's day and

[Kristen Austin]

age, you would think they would say thank you.

[Steve Austin]

Is it that hard to say?

[Kristen Austin]

Or give a nod, something, you know, or. Like, I always think if people are. That you get. Let them cross the street, all they have to do is nod and say thank you. Or, you know, like a physical something to show you that they're grateful that you actually waited and let them cross the street.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, but here's another thing. Here's how far a lot of people have. Their head of brass is like, you was taking your mom out to lunch the other day.

[Kristen Austin]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

No, she's all sitting at the restaurant. I won't drop the name of the

[Kristen Austin]

restaurant, but my mom noticed this, which I thought was interesting because she doesn't notice a lot of stuff.

[Steve Austin]

So what happened? Y' all was in a booth.

[Kristen Austin]

So the guy brings the food to the guy next to us, who. First of all, it's a busy restaurant at lunch, and people that take up booths are usually groups of people. This was a single guy. He took up a whole booth, put his legs stretched out, was texting the guy, brings his food to his table, does not even look up to say thank you or acknowledge his presence, continues to do whatever he was doing. Then the guy comes to pick up his plate when he finished. Can I get your plate, sir? Yes. Takes his plate, the guy, and say thank you. Nothing. I'm like, my goodness. I mean, first of all, you're taking up a booth that these families could be sitting at. And then, secondly, you don't even acknowledge the server's presence. So that. That kind of irked me.

[Steve Austin]

Well, I mean, yeah, just give them a. Give him a. Hey, man.

[Kristen Austin]

Give him a nod.

[Steve Austin]

Thanks, man. Well, just. I'm not sure. Blow smoke up our ass.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

You know, I'm very leery about stuff like that.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Like, man, it's like.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, I think we get irritated with everything we do.

[Steve Austin]

But we've got their head so far up our ass, it's like, you know that the famous corner that we live right at and it's a busy intersection. And every time when you're in the left hand turn lane and we're watching the people turn left and nine out of 10 of those people have got their eyes down their iPhone or they're actively texting.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And if they have a shotgun passenger 100% of the time they're on their smartphone.

[Kristen Austin]

Why did they ever call it shotgun?

[Steve Austin]

That's a good question.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah. The answer to maybe your listeners know.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, but yeah, but everybody knows what shotgun is. But that person and someone was telling me the other day, and I know they're ribbing me, but it's almost me. Like the human. You know how everything kind of evolves, Right. Humans continue to evolve, like from the CRO mags, Neanderthal. Now here we are. Unless you believe something else. We've evolved to this statement now. And they went from being kind of hunched over to more. More upright. And now we're gonna get these big ass eyes because our eyes are only used to looking at a goddamn smartphone, this device that we just glued to because we got to have that instant gratification. She was up.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And. And like be texting with somebody or posting something on Facebook just like somebody I know. Hey, we're at a restaurant. Give the name of the restaurant. Oh, I don't give a. Where you're at, you know.

[Kristen Austin]

Well, you're not on Facebook, so give me it.

[Steve Austin]

Give me. Well, there's Jim Florentine's book, Everybody is Awful except you. Talks a lot about that.

[Kristen Austin]

Okay.

[Steve Austin]

Half the stuff in that book, really. Chefs, my ass. But anyway, enough about all that. I wanted to sit here and just beat a dead horse and just go on and on about things that piss me off. But man, one of the things that was. Was kind of piqued my interest. My curiosity was about last weekend, I think it was, or the weekend before that. You get this call from your mother and someone has infiltrated her bank account or some suspicious activity going on or what's up? And then she don't know. She don't remember her password or nothing. You're doing all this research. QVC pops up. What the f happened?

[Kristen Austin]

I was able to log into her banking information to discover the. There were 16 QVC purchases and 7 home shopping club purchases.

[Steve Austin]

16 what?

[Kristen Austin]

I don't know. I said, what did you buy 16 of?

[Steve Austin]

Like, Ms. Hedberg would say, rice is great. When you want 2,000 or something. So what does your mother need of 16?

[Kristen Austin]

Apparently, after doing a lot of research, she bought a diamond bracelet, but not really diamonds. And they break it up into 16 easy payments of $3.20.

[Steve Austin]

That's a little bit over 50 bucks. Yeah, 16 easy payments.

[Kristen Austin]

16 easy payments of $3. So they talked her into buying this bracelet that she did not need because they were just going to charge her $3.20. 16 times.

[Steve Austin]

And here's the thing about the guy. Every time. The times when I go with you to check on your mother and say hi, every single time we walk in there, she's got it on QVC or

[Kristen Austin]

the home and it's blaring work or whatever.

[Steve Austin]

It's loud.

[Kristen Austin]

Loud. But then we get roped into it because we're like, look at what these people are buying.

[Steve Austin]

No, no. But then they throw that damn desperation thing. Hey, man, like 16 left and they're going fast. And then, you know, like, then so and so's comment about, you know, they just bought one and they love it.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And so.

[Kristen Austin]

And then they get the people calling in.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And then there's a little shady back and forth conversation. Everything talk. Your door. I was like, I gotta have one, I gotta have one. And your mother's gotta have one. Everything.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

And so it's like, I don't know,

[Kristen Austin]

but it's almost like they're brainwashing people into buying stuff.

[Steve Austin]

You talk about salespeople.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, they're one hell of a sales group.

[Steve Austin]

Because she buys like stretching it a little bit, I'm ribbing on the square, but they know what they're doing.

[Kristen Austin]

16 easy payments of $3 and 20 cents.

[Steve Austin]

Was she always like it?

[Kristen Austin]

She's always like that.

[Steve Austin]

But you came from very middle class family and then hard times for a while. It wasn't like y' all had money to go buy a bunch of bullshit.

[Kristen Austin]

No, she just, she doesn't get out of the house, you know, except if I go over there and you know, once a week and take her out to do stuff, she doesn't get out. So she misses the shopping aspect. So her connection now is qvc.

[Steve Austin]

And on the other side of that, you know, when you take her grocery shopping and when she was still driving.

[Kristen Austin]

Oh, she. As soon as we get to the grocery store, if I lose her, I know exactly where to find her.

[Steve Austin]

Where are you gonna find her?

[Kristen Austin]

Manager special.

[Steve Austin]

And the thing about it is she get all these things at the manager special that she don't even need she

[Kristen Austin]

puts them in her freezer.

[Steve Austin]

But because it's a manager special, she buys it's like she's getting a good deal. She buys it.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah. So I go in there, I throw them all out, and she does it the same thing again the next week.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Oh, I know.

[Steve Austin]

And it's, boy, it's one of those things. And I'll be there on, on that particular time. And when Kristen starts raiding the freezer, I'm just like, I'm waiting for a mom to freak out. And it's kind of like I'm just, I'm like distracting her a little better occupied. But she knows what's up.

[Kristen Austin]

If she bought this the other day, it says manager special and it said salmon something. But it wasn't really a real piece of salmon. It was like a strange sale item and it was only like $1.99 something and it's probably made for cats. So I threw it out. And I call her later that day. She said, I'm looking for that salmon I bought the other day. It really looked like a really good filet. I'm like, mom, you don't even cook. Sure enough, she was livid that I threw that whatever piece of salmon away. So I had to go buy her another piece of salmon and make it for the next time. Went over there.

[Steve Austin]

But how does it happen when she orders that bag of pot stickers? But, but it's, it's just, it's a gimmick. Number of pot stickers?

[Kristen Austin]

It was 91 pot stickers.

[Steve Austin]

Where did they pull 91 out?

[Kristen Austin]

I have no idea.

[Steve Austin]

Why not a hundred? Why not 90, 80, anything? An even number, 91.

[Kristen Austin]

I don't know. Maybe they threw one in for good luck.

[Steve Austin]

But nine in one pot stickers?

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Does she eat them?

[Kristen Austin]

No, I threw, I gave those to the, to the neighbor. And today when I got there, there was four new items in her freezer that I had not purchased for her. So she took, she snuck out and took dial it right over there. And so there was a turkey burger with stuffed blue cheese inside that was in the frozen that she already put in the freezer. She buys everything puts in the freezer. There were these, they look like really old shrimp. Those were in the freezer. Another piece of salmon and some sort of strange looking bread item. So of course I snuck those into a little bag and went out to the garbage and put them in there. She has no idea. They're not even there anymore. So. Because I get her frozen meals anyway and she gets dial or meals on Wheels.

[Steve Austin]

But every now and then when she comes over to, you know, stay for a couple of days and she'll bring us a couple of items she got off QVC or whatever it's called.

[Kristen Austin]

We got the shiatsu foot massage thing there the other day. Remember? For Christmas? Yeah, it's still in the closet. And then she bought some sort of other massage thing for me.

[Steve Austin]

Are you gonna use it?

[Kristen Austin]

I might.

[Steve Austin]

Are we gonna have a garage sale?

[Kristen Austin]

No, but I was thinking maybe I'll combine that with my CBD lotion.

[Steve Austin]

That's a good idea. When you going back to the dope shop?

[Kristen Austin]

I need to go to another. I'm gonna try a new one. I want to go the one with the valet. Just so I can say I valeted at the dope shop.

[Steve Austin]

You just gonna hang around there and keep smelling all the air so you get a little contact high?

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, it's my new spot. I don't have to buy anything. I'll just keep going to all the new ones so I get the 20% off discount for first time customers.

[Steve Austin]

All right, well, anyway, let's go ahead and wrap this podcast up. I appreciate you helping me out.

[Kristen Austin]

I tried.

[Steve Austin]

I damn near wish he's going to New Orleans with me. You want to go?

[Kristen Austin]

I would have liked to gone, actually, because I really enjoyed New Orleans. We went there together. But I've got to take care of

[Steve Austin]

two special girls, man, I tell you what, people always ask me because we were going somewhere. I was doing a project the other day and they said, is your wife coming out? I looked at him, I said, my wife coming out? What do you mean?

[Kristen Austin]

Well, it's your job. You go to work. I didn't.

[Steve Austin]

I know, but that's exactly what I told you. I said, no, man. I said, man, I said, my wife and I have been together 14 years and we've been married nine. I said, man, when I go to work, my wife. I mean, like, if I'm filming something every night, you'll come on, right? Days off just so you can enjoy Mexico or Georgia or whatever. But you don't go to work with me?

[Kristen Austin]

No.

[Steve Austin]

I said, no, man. I mean, she knows I'm busy in his work. I said, like, when she was teaching special ed, I went and read your kids one day.

[Kristen Austin]

But yeah, but I didn't say. I didn't expect you to come to work with me.

[Steve Austin]

I'm over in the corner while you're over teaching, eating that bologna sandwich, you know, distracting the kids. Hey, dude, you want a sandwich? You know, so it's but it's like.

[Kristen Austin]

But you'll be working and you're going to be real busy, so.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, man.

[Kristen Austin]

And then when you get around your wrestling pals, I. It's like another language and I. I don't understand it.

[Steve Austin]

Man, that's so fun. I'm looking forward to seeing everybody. I was talking to, I think I mentioned on the open of the show, I was talking to Bill Watts on the phone and I might be able to get a podcast in with him. If his schedule is cool. We're going to try to do one. But that was my favorite territory to grow up watching. And it's funny because all these years later, Chris and I have been together 14 years, and then when one of her special ed students had brought the WWF calendar to her class, and then she turned it and that was my month and we ended up being married after all these years. All these years, thanks to one of your wonderful students who brought the damn WWF calendar together. And I'm going back to a wrestling function. I'm looking forward to it. It is a different language, though. But that's one thing, because you. You speak a lot of the Russell speak that. Well. We just have our certain words.

[Kristen Austin]

Right.

[Steve Austin]

We don't speak carny to each other. And I don't really, but I. I'm

[Kristen Austin]

learning all the terms.

[Steve Austin]

You should have a. Yeah, but you know, the. You say gimmick and.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah, I like gimmicks.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah.

[Kristen Austin]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Other than that, it's not like we're calling hot spots each other.

[Kristen Austin]

I don't know. I don't use that word.

[Steve Austin]

No. But anyway. Well, I'm gonna ride off in a sunset and then get my workout in. I've been so busy. I've been trying to get caught up to my workouts. I got a project coming up I'm looking forward to. Thanks for joining me on the show. I might be doing a. I might be doing a breakdown of WrestleMania 34. Hopefully it's a great event and I hope everybody has a real good time and performs to the utmost of their ability. Hopefully the crowd inside the Superdome, or is it the Silver Dome, as Hulk Hogan would say? Hopefully the crowd is on fire and they're ready to see a good night. It's going to be a long day because of all the Pre Mania stuff going on, but, man, they're giving you bang for your buck. It's going to be a great show. I'm looking forward to seeing the match between Stephanie and Triple H and Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey. And I'm looking forward to seeing the championship match and AJ and Nakamura and a bunch of other stuff. It's going to be a loaded show and hopefully the WWE and the guys and gals crank it up and knock a grand slam. Coming back, close the show. Thanks to my wife for joining me here on Steve Austin Show. All right, everybody, give me the Go home. Q. It's time to wrap up his podcast, ride off in the Sunset. Before I do that, I want to thank my illustrious wife Kristen for joining me here on the podcast. Kristen, it was great talking to you and I'll be eating dinner with her here in a few minutes anyway. Amen. One more time. I will be in New Orleans, Louisiana on April 7th and 8th. That's Saturday and Sunday. Coming up this weekend, I'll be at the Sheraton signing autographs and taking pictures for Russell Khan. These will probably be the only two appearances I make for the next few years, so I just don't do these things too often. I love New Orleans. I'm looking forward to getting down there and eating me some Cajun food and watching the show afterwards. And a shout out to all the WWE Superstars who will be performing on Sunday night. Hey man, good luck to everybody. Y' all. Go out there and rip it up and have a damn good time. Prowresrestlintease.com SteveAustin has all my Broken Skull Ranch stuff and you can catch it right there where I just told you to go. If you're thirsty, I got a damn good ipa. It's called Broken Skull IPA from El Salvador Gundo Brewing Company. You can find it in California at Whole Foods and Total Wines. And if you don't live in Cali, check insidethecellar.com and see if they got any first of all and see if they ship to your state. And if you're looking for a badass pocket knife, which I'll be taking mine to russellcon in New Orleans, Louisiana, check out the Cold Steel Broken Skull Knife or the Cold Steel Working Man's Knife and you can get them at my new Amazon store. Amazon has the best price on both knives. Just go to Amazon.com shop and I want to say one more thank you to all the fine sponsors of the Steve Austin Show. That's how I'm able to do this podcast for you twice a week for free and you can find all my [e-mail] just click on the Killer Deals button at the top of the page and then click on the Steve Austin show banner. Folks, I am on social media, on Twitter and Instagram, and my handle is EveAustin BSR. Folks, until next time, my name is Steve Austin and I will catch your ass down the road. This has been a Podcast one production. Download new episodes of the Steve Austin show every [e-mail] that's podcast.com. Hello and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto tv, where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch Anchorman. The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy. Welcome to the real world, Mean Girls. Shut up. Titanic. I'm the king of the World. And so much more. For showtimes, press nothing. They're free 24.

[Kristen Austin]

7. That is so effective on Pluto TV.

[Steve Austin]

Stream now.

[Kristen Austin]

Pay Never.

[Ancient Aliens Announcer]

What if the stories of gods, angels, and ancient technology weren't myths but memories of alien contact? On Ancient Aliens, we investigate the evidence, from mysterious ruins to strange celestial alignments, asking bold questions about humanity's origins. Could visitors from the stars have influenced our greatest civilizations? Journey into the unknown and challenge what you think you know about history in episodes like Secrets of the Sumerians, Mysteries of Of the Mayo, or the Chosen, we are not Alone. Download Ancient Aliens every Thursday. Wherever you get your podcasts.