Ted Fowler - SAS CLASSIC

Summary

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The Steve Austin Show – SAS Classic: Ted Fowler (June 9, 2026)

Main Theme & Purpose

In this classic episode, Steve Austin sits down with long-time friend and ranch partner Ted Fowler to catch up on life, swap hilarious stories, and get into the reality of rural ranch maintenance, road trips, and fishing adventures. The conversation flows with trademark humor and candid insights into their down-to-earth routines, technical hiccups, diet experiments, and the unique challenges of working and relaxing at the Broken Skull Ranch.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life at the Broken Skull Ranch

• Dog Drama & Ranch Critters

  • Steve opens with an epic rant about his dog Moolah’s spider bite and issues a tongue-in-cheek "warning" to the offending spider.
  • Quote: "If you want to take it one step further than that, you just pissed off stone cold Steve Austin. And I got a can of whoop ass for you. And all you gotta do is have the guts to push my doorbell and I'll serve it to you firsthand." — Steve Austin (04:00)

• Wrap-up of 'Broken Skull Challenge' Filming

  • Steve describes finishing the season and expressing exhaustion from four weeks of non-stop hosting and motivational yelling.
  • Grateful to his crew and the athletes, he teases a massive finale:
  • Quote: "If this don't get you excited, you might as well jump in a six-foot hole and cover yourself up, because you already dead." — Steve Austin (06:16)

• Plans for Downtime

  • Steve debates between a Nevada trip with family or heading to Texas to dove hunt with Ted.

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2. Steve’s Listener Q&A (09:00)

WWF Vehicles & Mishaps

• Steve recounts how he operated everything from monster trucks to Zambonis, and the infamous Charlotte incident with a crane almost gone wrong:
  • Quote: "That block of cement would probably weigh 2,000 pounds. Stopped about a con hair from that glass and I didn't flinch because we were on live TV." — Steve Austin (10:15)

Match Day Prep

• Austin candidly reveals his lowkey routine before matches: a few arm circles, pushups, chit-chat with other wrestlers, and mental volume up to ‘11’.

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3. Ranch Life & Vehicle Misadventures (18:00)

• Junk Cars, Collectibles & Ranch Gear

  • Steve’s obsession with old cars on the filming lot; ponders converting a 1968 Pontiac Le Mans into a hunting rig, and muses on a 3-door vintage Chevy Suburban.
  • Requests listeners’ info on rare Suburban body styles:
  • Quote: "If anybody has any information…send it to [e-mail], because curiosity killed a cat and if I don't find out…I'm going to jump off Heartbreak Hill." — Steve Austin (20:38)

• Ted vs. Ranch Equipment

  • Ted explains a comedy of errors: truck overheats, batteries forgotten, tractors with dead air conditioners and jammed feed augers, Bronco with flat tires — all in a single, expletive-laced saga:
  • Quote: "I had to drive a broom handle down there without breaking it and, you know, break apart that little protein brick, which I did, you know." — Ted Fowler (23:46)

• Maintaining Ranch Standards

  • Both express frustration at subpar mower blades and fussy equipment.

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4. Fitness and Diet Routines (31:45)

• Steve’s Caffeine & Alcohol Cold Turkey

  • Discusses cutting coffee, energy drinks, and wine to break a weight-loss stall.
  • Surprised at improved daylong energy and better gym results.

• Quote: "If someone would have told me to give up coffee…I’d say, fuck yourself, man, I ain’t gonna quit coffee." — Steve Austin (32:31)

• Ted’s Diet Disasters

  • Ted cracks up listeners with his chaos: forgetting eggs, making do with Top Ramen for breakfast, and accidentally banishing cheese from his diet.
  • Ted’s food “pickiness” hilariously displayed:
  • Quote: “Once they have merged…that shit’s nasty, dude. You just can't do that, you know?" — Ted Fowler (50:12)

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5. Ted’s Legendary Fishing Road Trip (42:13)

• A Reluctant Socialite

  • Ted joins a 6-guy, 10-hour drive to a Louisiana charter tuna fishing trip; confesses he’s barely acquaintances with some travel-mates and dreads so much forced socializing.
  • "I fear that would only create tension," Ted admits about riding solo (51:54), highlighting his introvert humor.

• Trip Logistics & Group Challenges

  • Stories about group dynamics, shared expenses, and the pitfalls of “team lunches."
  • Discussion of food-sharing hygiene, business cards used as toothpicks, and the rarely discussed etiquette of road food.

• Quote: "I don’t want you showing up with a Tupperware pie plate container...and everybody reaches in with their old dick beaters." — Ted Fowler (58:45)

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6. Road & Ranch Tales

• Vintage Vehicles as Hunting Rigs

  • Steve floats wild ideas for converting classic cars (Le Mans, hearse, three-door Suburban) for ranch use or, in jest, for club-hopping with style.
  • Running joke about Ted being chauffeured in a hearse to the “titty club.”

• Travel Rules and Veteran Tricks

  • "Shotgun" politics on road trips, with Steve recounting old wrestler tactics for claiming the best seat and jabs at notorious backseat drivers.

• Work Ethics

  • Ted declines a difficult remodeling client, gets called ‘bipolar,’ and both men joke about life coaches and the wisdom (or lack thereof) in self-help gurus.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On spiders and vengeance:
  "So, Spider, consider yourself warned. If you want to hang out in the motherfucking bushes and wait til...WrestleMania 33 in Orlando. Book it, motherfucker." — Steve Austin (05:20)

• On group travel dynamics:
  "You know I’m gonna get annoyed, you know, so you start the trip off by saying, 'Hey guys, shut the fuck up!'" — Ted Fowler (45:01)

• On food hygiene:
  "I don’t want you showing up with a Tupperware pie plate container...and everybody reaches in with their old dick beaters." — Ted Fowler (58:45)

• On overpriced fishing:
  "What does a chartered 32 foot boat with six cats cost? 1800 bucks for the day." — Ted Fowler (55:57)
  "God damn. So split it that three ways, that's 300 plus...you gotta tip everybody. Then you got fuel..." — Steve Austin (56:01)

• On pickiness and ‘guy code’:
  "Teddy, what about the separation of the green beans and the corn? What's up with that?"
  "Once they have merged…that shit's nasty, dude." — (50:06–50:12)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• 04:00–06:16: Steve’s spider rant and 'Broken Skull Challenge' wrap-up
• 09:00–13:00: Listener Q&A: Driving WWF vehicles, match prep
• 18:00–27:18: Ranch woes: battery mishaps, mower talk, and protein feeder saga
• 31:45–39:00: Steve's experimentation with diet and caffeine
• 42:13–51:54: Ted’s 10-hour fishing trip, group travel comedy, and team lunch
• 50:00–62:00: Food hygiene, road trip etiquette, toothpick business, travel tales
• 71:15–73:40: Conversion plans for vintage vehicles and more ranch banter
• 73:40–77:52: Wrapping up, what’s next, promotional photoshoots, lighting tricks in TV production

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Overall Vibe & Takeaways

• Unfiltered, unplugged, and hilarious:
  Austin and Fowler’s banter brings out the best of rural ranch living, road tripping, and being unapologetically themselves, never missing a chance to poke fun at each other.

• Practical lessons tucked in humor:
  Whether it’s laying out road trip rules, dealing with mechanical mishaps, or pondering the weirdness of group dynamics, there’s real wisdom in their entertaining misadventures.

• Do-it-yourself attitude:
  From fitness to diet to vehicle repairs, the episode reflects their “just get it done” approach—even if it means using broom handles and business cards for unintended purposes.

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Recommended For: Anyone who loves the behind-the-scenes chaos of country living, Texas-sized storytelling, and the unscripted reality of friends chewing the fat—sprinkled with classic Steve Austin swagger.

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[This summary skips ads and sponsor messages; see provided timestamps for content-only segments.]

Transcript

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[Podcast Co-host]

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[Steve Austin]

The following program is a podcast ONE.com production he started in a small town in Texas, worked his ass off to

[Ted Fowler]

become one of the most famous wrestlers of all time.

[Steve Austin]

We're gonna take care of business tonight. And that's the bott.

[Ted Fowler]

And now he's dominating the world of on demand audio. And he's doing it for the working man.

[Steve Austin]

This is a damn good outlet for me to spew the off my brain.

[Ted Fowler]

This is the Steve Austin Show. Unleash.

[Steve Austin]

All right, I'm gonna work with the Steve Austin show. I am coming to the main Los Angeles, California today. I'm sitting here in my office. Pearl beer neon clock, second hand spin around like a rotisserie chicken. Over to my right, Hershey the wonder dog is sound asleep. Moolah, the silver Lab, she's sleeping somewhere. She just got bit on her left paw by a goddamn spider. My wife noticed her limping around on her left foot. And then she took her into the vet and her red foot was red as well. And so the doctor could only surmise that she had been bitten by a spider. And just the other day I was out cleaning up the dog shit and I saw a spider on the driveway. And I was thinking, oh man, that's kind of a mean looking spider. I'm just gonna let him go. He ain't gonna bother nobody. And I said, no, no, fuck that, I'm gonna squash this motherfucker because he might bite one of the dogs. So I squashed it with the thing that I pick up the shit with that fucking little thing on the end of a stick, the bucket. And so that wasn't the one bit her, but I'm sure it was one of his relatives. So anyway, to the spider that bit Moolah's foot. You motherfucker. If you're in my front yard, I'll Be out there climbing through the bushes here at night with a flashlight looking for your sorry ass. Because when you bite my dog Moolah's foot, her left fucking foot. Moolah's a two and a half year old silver lab. You cross the line, motherfucker, I give you my bushes. You can spin your webs up in there, you can catch insects, you can do whatever the fuck you want to do. And you ain't even paying rent to be on this motherfucking property. So basically, you squatting. And then in the process of squatting, my dog runs through the bushes, doing what dogs do, running in the bushes that I own. And you want to bite on a goddamn foot. Listen, if you got the guts to climb your ass up and ring my doorbell, ring my doorbell, motherfucker, because you and me gonna have a come to Jesus meeting. Because when you bite my dog's foot, you made it personal. You just insulted Steve motherfucking Austin. And if you want to take it one step further than that, you just pissed off stone cold Steve Austin. And I got a can of whoop ass for you. And all you gotta do is have the guts to push my doorbell and I'll serve it to you firsthand. Let me digress a little bit and turn back into Steve Austin. Ain't nobody, nobody on planet earth gonna fuck with my goddamn dogs. Ain't nobody gonna fuck with my family. If you do, you got a price to pay. So, Spider, consider yourself warned. If you want to hang out in the motherfucking bushes and wait till R. WrestleMania 33 in Orlando. Book it, motherfucker. Call Vince McMahon on the. Book it, motherfucker. Call Vince McMahon on the phone and tell him you want a piece of me at WrestleMania 33. Other than that, if I see you, I don't really warn too many people. But know now, consider yourself warned. Consider your other family members warned. And maybe that's why you bit Mula's foot. Maybe because you saw me kill your relative, your cousin or your brother with that shit bucket on the sidewalk. So maybe that was your vengeance. Maybe that was your revenge on me. Maybe it was me that drew first blood. But listen, motherfucker, I can draw first blood because I own the goddamn property. Enough about that bullshit. I just finished Broken Skull Challenge Tuesday afternoon. We cut the cake at about 3pm I put two pieces of cake on a paper plate, put it on my center console and brought it back home to 316 Gimmick St. One piece for myself, one piece for Mama Kristen, my baby girl wife, she Ate half of her damn cake. She didn't even eat it all. Why did you not eat all your cake? Oh, cause you want to frost on each bite. I got the frosting, I got the corner piece. Boy, I got to cut the cake. I was the first one to cut that motherfucker, so I made sure I got the Mac daddy piece right there. Every piece on it, every angle of it had icing on it. And that shit was good. Hey, it was good. My wife even says it was good. And she knows a thing or two about damn cakes. I want to thank everybody out there on the crew for working so damn hard that listens to the show. Probably none of you do, but if you do, thank you. I also want to say thank you to all the badass athletes who came out and competed this year. If you see this show, this year, the finale, Jesus Christ, you talk about blow you out of the water. If this don't get you excited, you might as well jump in a six foot hole and cover yourself up, because you already did. This is a badass show. And my challenge to athletes out there. You want to come out for season five? Stay tuned. I'll be dropping information on how to sign up because this is something you want to be a part of. This is something that the athletes came out here and just gave it every single thing they had. We set the table and. And they knocked it out of the park. I'm proud to have done that show. And that being said, I'm glad it's over. I've been yelling at motherfuckers for four weeks. And not yelling at them, but yelling motivational stuff when they go do stuff and carry stuff and compete against each other and climb up hills. You know, that good athletic shit. So I've been yelling at people for 30 days now. 32 days. And then on my two days off, I've been doing a podcast. So I've been working seven days a week. Now, don't get me wrong, I know there's people out there that work much tougher jobs than I do. But when you're standing on a mountain in a desert and the wind's blowing and you're getting sunburned and wind burned and all that other bullshit and yelling. You ain't got a day off. You got to train at 5 o' clock in the morning to get all that shit done. Hey, I'm glad we're done. But that being said, if they would have given us 20 episodes to film, we would just now be getting in the middle of it. And we'd be peeking because everybody had their chops up right at the end and then we had to finish. So anyway it was a good time. I'm looking forward to it. I'm trying to flip a coin over here. Decide are we going to have time to go down to Texas to the Broken Skull ranch and go dove hunting with Ted Fowler361 or am I going to plan a trip to Sparks, Nevada to visit my brother in law because it's a thousand miles closer and we got a lot of remodeling going on here at the house after our floors buckled on us. So I. I don't know if I'm going to try to fool my wife and use a double sided quarter or what. But I kind of want to go to Texas. She kind of wants to go to Nevada and I kind of want to go to Nevada too. But I want to go bird hunt with Teddy. I will keep you apprised as to what happens here at 316 Gimmick Street. I appreciate you guys sticking with me while I was in production. I was lucky enough to talk to Anita Strauss the other day, the lead guitarist for Alice Cooper. I really don't have a whole lot of time to dedicate to research and have people come over or me go to them. So. So thank you for the patience. Ted Fowler 361 is my guest today. We talk about all kinds of bullshit going on at the Broken Skull Ranch. He went down there and had nothing but headaches, hassles and horseshit. Now it turns out Teddy's taking a trip to Louisiana to go deep sea fishing with five of his buddies. So six guys from Rockport are going 10 hours one way to Louisiana to go fishing. So that's part of the conversation I'm having with Teddy. And you know how picky Teddy is with his food and just with life in general. Six guys.

[Ted Fowler]

I didn't know he had any friends.

[Steve Austin]

Kristen said, I don't know if he had any friends. Teddy's a loner. He's just like me. But they're friends. I think they're more acquaintance friends. They're buddies. But you know Ted, Ted's Ted. Anyway, I'm going to talk to Teddy about that. But before we get to Teddy though, I asked you guys to send me some emails to questionsteveaustonshow.com and you did. So let me answer a couple of those questions real quick before we get into the business and talk to Ted Fowler. And this one comes from Jesse and he says, Steve, we have Seen you drive anything with wheels in the WWF for years, and it was always highly entertaining. But my question is, was there anything that gave you a hard time while trying to drive it? And is there anything you can't drive, man? Jesse, that's a good question because I drove a Zamboni, a monster truck, a monster limo, the cement truck, a few other things I can't remember. But the cement truck was not hard to drive. Folding those little scoops down so the cement flowed in perfect spot inside the convertible Corvette was a little bit technical, but really most of those things that I learned how to drive, I learned how to drive literally in a 15 minute tutorial right before we went live live TV. And, and it just seems that I pick up things real fast when it comes to things like that. So I've never had any problem driving anything. Except the one time in Charlotte there was one thing that I had trouble with and that was in Charlotte, North Carolina, when I was healing up for my neck surgery. I got a call from Vince and they wanted me to come drop a big block of cement on the DX bus using a crane. Now, that thing gave me trouble because someone moved the arm on that crane and didn't show me how to leverage it back down. And that's when I started swinging that thing and it got cattywampus. And I didn't know that the person had straightened the arm up closer to the cab so I couldn't get any centrifugal force to swing that big cement block. And it started swinging back towards the cab and it was coming back towards that glass of that cab. I thought it was going to come through and I thought it was just going to bash me in the head and kill me. And that's a chute. That block of cement would probably weigh 2,000 pounds. Stopped about a con here from that glass and I didn't flinch because we were on live tv. And it turns out I found out what someone did with that arm and they never showed me that maneuver with the little hand gimmicks inside the cab. So basically I've always been able to drive stuff. What I really like to drive is a maintainer. Like out there at the Broken Skull Ranch, I could maintain my roads. And that's, you know, maintainer or grader. You've seen them on the side of the road, they're about what, 30, 40ft long and there's a long diagonal blade and you can crown up your roads. So if I could drive one of those or someone could teach me to Drive one of those. That would be very cool. Also in my conversation with Bill Burr a couple of months ago, he learned how to fly a helicopter. Flying a helicopter is still on my list of things that I'd like to accomplish. Here's a question from Rob Anderson. Steve, what do you do prepare for a match? Where do you put your mind and what gets you that place to raise hell as only you can? Well, he's talking about in present time. This was in the past, man. All I did was, you know, wave my arms a few times in the air, make some circles with my shoulder, loosen up. Every now and then I'd do a push up or two. But I wasn't really a body guy, so there was really no prep for me. I was already kind of warm. I've always kind of jump up and down in place to get some blood in my legs, get my calves ready to hit the ropes, and that was it from a physical standpoint. And as far as where do you put your mind, man? Most time I was back there shooting the shit with Triple H, or back in the day, China Chris Jericho. And he's just standing there eating his trademark apple. Bubba Ray Dudley. It might have been the three of us talking about rock and roll and all of a sudden the glass breaks and I'd haul ass to the ring. So my mind was just being loose and having fun and just going out there and raising hell. It changed a little bit when it was a Wrestlemania or a real important event like that. Then you were in a little bit more game mode. You knew the task at hand was to light up, you know, 60, 70, 80,000 people and entertain a million or two on pay per view. So you had a little bit more serious mindset then because you were thinking about the big picture and you were probably working in a big angle projected into the year that your money was going to depend on that angle and that your money was going to depend on that angle. So you were kind of thinking about business then. And what gets me to the place to raise L, man, that's just turning the volume switch up to 11. And I think everybody does that in their own way, whether it's an 11 or like a Jake the Snake. Quiet, smoldering intensity. He still turns it up to an 11, but he just does it in his own fashion. He wasn't as over the top as I was, but he was every bit, if not way more cerebral and calculated. Everybody has their own MO and that was mine. But anyway, enough about all that bullshit. I'm done. I'M through filming back here at the house. Trying to go to Texas, maybe go to Nevada or remodeling parts of the house because our floor fucked up on us. I got Ted Fowler 361 coming up this year, North America will be the

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[Ted Fowler]

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[Ted Fowler]

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[Ted Fowler]

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[Ted Fowler]

Steve Austin Unleashed.

[Steve Austin]

Unleashed.

[Ted Fowler]

Fuck. I just unplugged it and plugged it back in.

[Steve Austin]

God damn you motherfucker. All right. Oh, what you got? I gotta turn my this side of the air conditioner off. I'm sweating. I'll give the story in a minute. Hang on.

[Ted Fowler]

Okay. Jesus Christ. The fucking cluster fuck continues.

[Steve Austin]

For the good people out there listening at home, because I'm recording the sound check. Can you hear me?

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah I can hear you, man.

[Steve Austin]

How far are you away from your microphone? You sound like you're 1700 miles away.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was. I was about 2ft away from it. I'm about a foot now.

[Steve Austin]

Well, now you sound like you're right in the booth next to me. So I'm gonna turn the volume down on my computer. Hello? Because I'm sitting there. I'm not trying to give you too much information. I'm sitting there. Pair of goddamn flip flops, my camouflage shorts. And I took my shirt off because for sound quality purposes, you know, I'm trying to win a goddamn award with this podcast. And it ain't one shit with it. Because of all the discombobulations I have. I've got two air cond units in this trailer. So I keep the one over there in my bedroom running. And over here on the side where my galley is, my kitchen table, my big ass couch and tv. That air conditioner is off. So I'm sitting here. It's hotter than a motherfucker out in the desert. Sun still ain't gone down. So anyway, Teddy, what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on in your world?

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, I'm sweating my. This is Thursday's show.

[Steve Austin]

You goddamn right it's Thursday.

[Ted Fowler]

I was gonna say, I'm like, you know, I'm sweating my ass off. Just sit. And a pair of shorts, no shirt, no. No flip flops, nothing. Because I just got home from, you know, being up at the ranch. So I've had the AC crank way up on my house, you know, and when we went to do this thing, I turned the AC off so that thing wouldn't kick on and you'd hear it and, you know. Yeah, it's about 85 in the house right now.

[Steve Austin]

God almighty, man. We've been out here filming a broken skull challenge for a little over three weeks, and we got two days left, Monday and Tuesday. So when this podcast drops, we'll be through with the show. And I came up here just like I do every damn weekend. You know, I come up on Sunday evening, get settled in. We've changed a few things out here. I went out with my notes, went over the course, looked at some shit. And of course, the other day, you know, we was right in the middle of competition, and, you know, this place is. This movie ranch is 180 acres, right? So there's a bunch of junk cars out here, and they use them for picture cars. Because a lot of times the cars you see in movies or on television Shows they might not be running. They might not have a motor in them, the interior might not be in them. But when you're filming them, they look like the car that they want them to look like, but they might not run. So there's a bunch of those motherfuckers out here and I'm like a kid in a candy store, you know. The other day I was looking at that 68 Pontiac Le Mans convertible I was talking about making into our hunting rig down there at a ranch. 69 Firebird that got over there. I'm going to see if the guy that runs this place will sell me the marker lights off the back end of that. I'll get my buddy Curtis to make me a clock out of them. It brought in a new load. There's a 96 Bronco over there. I just got finished checking that thing out. Had the 5.8 liter. I had the keys in it. Had 129,000 miles. And then they brought a Chevy Nova SS out here. I was prowling around looking at that thing and then there was a damn Suburban out there. I didn't know. I started doing the research on the Suburban so I'd have something to talk about on the podcast because I know everybody wants to know about a Chevy Suburban. I thought those things started being made about 1970 because that's when I started to remember them. And this one out here is from about the 67. This one out here is from the 67 to 72 era. And hell, they started making those things in 1935. So they've been around for a while. And this one has two doors on the right hand side and it only has a driver's door on the left hand side. And it's got the pop up rear hatch and the lift down gate, but there's only three doors on it. So if anybody has any information on the three door 67 to what I say, 72 Chevy Suburban, why this one only has three doors, send it to [e-mail] because curiosity killed a cat and if I don't find out what the fucking answer is, I'm going to jump off Heartbreak Hill.

[Ted Fowler]

Why don't you climb under that Bronco and nab that starter and bring it down to me.

[Steve Austin]

God damn it. I know you're down at the ranch. What kind of problems you have down there other than everything that did go wrong.

[Ted Fowler]

Hot damn. Where to start? It all started last week when the truck overheated when I was trying to drive to the ranch. Postponed my Trip a week, you know, because I'm pulling my buggy down there a little more of a load than what it's used to. Put it in the shop, got it out, hooked it up Friday, and started going. And I made it about 37ft past where I did last week before it overheated. So I had to turn around and come back. I had a new battery for the Kubota tractor because the battery was dead in that thing. Now that we've got it up and, you know, operable, I was going to swap out the battery and mow and fill feeders. Well, got down to the ranch, forgot the battery out of the back of the Dodge because I drove down in the Suburban. Yeah, you talk about neat, you know, and the last time I was there, I used your dad's Bronco to fill feeders, and the hopper jammed up, the auger jammed up. So I had a problem with that. So I just backed it, the whole thing under the barn where the Kubota went, you know, where there's more parking there. Well, I jumped in your dad's Bronco and turned the key, and. And not a single noise came out of that vehicle, you know, So I get out, the battery has plenty of life. Everything works, you know, so my first guess is it's the starter. Well, if you got somebody there, you can crawl under there and peck on it with a hammer while somebody turns the key. But since I'm the only guy out there, you know, I obviously can't pull that off. So I've gonna go get in your Bronco, jump in that. Look, there's two flat tires on that thing. I turned the key on that. And of course, because we haven't had it in on a trickle charger, it's dead. So I grabbed the quick charger and hook it up to the. To your Bronco, and as soon as I plug it in that battery, those battery terminals start smoking. They're all corroded. And I guess it was burning, you know, burning that corrosion. I mean, literally, dude, there was smoke coming off of it. So unplugged it, cut off those old terminals, put new terminals on. Then it took a charge. It was, you know, good to go. Aired up the tires, unhooked the feed wagon from your dad's Bronco, put it in neutral, put a tow strap on it, towed that out into the middle of the pasture, you know, so I could get the. The one operable Bronco to hook up to the feed wagon, you know, and then I got to work on unjamming the auger.

[Steve Austin]

How was that? What'd you use, a stick or a rod? What'd you do?

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, just a broom handle, you know, because some of those lumps of protein, once it gets a little moisture in it, you know, it just lock locks up like a, like a brick. So I had to get down and I've got a full hopper full of protein and this is all the way at the bottom. So I'm trying to drive a broom handle down there without breaking it and, you know, break apart that little protein brick, which I did, you know. And after that, I decided it was time to try to fire up the Kubota, do a little mowing. And the air conditioning crapped out on the Kubota, so I'm driving around mowing with both doors open.

[Steve Austin]

Here's the thing. Everybody, everybody thinks I love to mow so much. I do. I like doses of it. It's fun. But when you got to mow that whole ranch out, it's a pain in the ass. But when you do mow, that's such a badass tractor. And it's impeccably maintained. It's in perfect condition. It really doesn't have too many hours on it. I bought it brand new. And the fucking air conditioner started fading out last year during deer season. I know you noticed it was. Well, as I did. And so it crapped out on you. So it's kind of got these, you know, like these bat wing doors that just open pretty wide. And so usually you get in and out on the left side, but that other right side opens just the same. So Ted has got both doors cracked all the way open. And those things kind of rattle. So I don't really like to drive it too much, you know, with the doors flared like that. But, dude, when that diesel motor starts balling over, you know, it's getting pretty hot. Air condition doesn't work. It's probably 100 degrees out there. You got to have some relief because you can start off weighing 260 when you get in that thing. And if you mow for a couple hours, you'll come out weighing 230. It's a God damned contraption. I ought to sell that damn trademark to the ufc. That way the fighters can cut weight for the fights.

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, I must have turned the air conditioning on and off 38 times. Just hoping, you know, like my headphones, if I keep plugging them in and unplugging them, they'll work, you know. But no, that that AC unit is out of Freon and You know, as dirty and dusty as it is when you're mowing and you got both doors open, you know, when I finally got done mowing, you got to get the blower and blow out the cab of that thing, you know, and there's an inch of dust in there, you know, not only on yourself, but all over the inside of the tractor. And it's like, dude, we gotta do something different there, dude.

[Steve Austin]

But how's the batwing shredder working? Because last time that turnbuckle rod that helps lift the thing up and down was broken. The guy from Poteep came out there. Thank you, Eldon, for sending your guy out there. It cost me an arm and a leg. But anyway, how's the mower working? Because he did a repair on that deck.

[Ted Fowler]

The mower itself worked fine, you know, I mean everything, everything did what it was supposed to. But those blades underneath that thing are shitty, man. We get it. I mean, and you notice that too, we get kind of an uneven cut.

[Steve Austin]

Well, you know, we replaced blades like two years ago and those original blades were on there for like seven years. And those motherfuckers were prime time. So I just think the replacement blades wasn't worth the shit. So I'll call my guy and have some. Bring some more blades out here. Because hell, I'd rather ride out. I'd rather ride around on a John Deere riding lawnmower than use that 15 foot bat wing and not not cut the grass in a proper fashion. Because dude, you know how picky we are out there. If it ain't right, I mean, you're wasting your time.

[Ted Fowler]

No, you're absolutely right. Have that sucker bring some Freon too for the AC unit.

[Steve Austin]

Hell, God damn, Teddy, you ain't got to get out about it. You're weighing 215 pounds right now. Now you yell man, about Freon. Freon?

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, you're Freon.

[Steve Austin]

Forget about the Freon.

[Ted Fowler]

Find the good in everything. That's the spirit.

[Steve Austin]

God dammit. Hey, I called Teddy the other night because he was down at the ranch. I knew he was going down there to fill up the feeders, man. We're running the protein hot and heavy. Our bucks are in velvet. They're still growing horns right now. They ain't gotten to a hard horn yet, so all the protein we can get to them. And our deer is a goddamn spoiled Teddy. We that ranch is in the Golden Triangle where everything that grows is protein. So they got all the green shit that they could need. But we like to supplemental feed just because trying to grow big bucks. And when the does get fawns on them like they do right now, Carrying them on through deer season, we like to give them all the extra nutrition they can get. But hang on. What was the point I was going

[Ted Fowler]

to make about how lazy the deer are? They don't even go out and graze to eat. They just stand there.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, that's the thing. The damn deer are so lazy, they just go over to the damn feeders and just stick their nose in a tube and start eating. It's the goddamnedest thing. Everything they could eat. It'd be like if I was walking around somewhere and I just had people follow me with ham and cheese sandwiches, you know, I don't get it. I was going to make a point there, and I started rambling on and on and on, But I can't remember what I was talking about. Dude, it's been that kind of week. When you're standing in a desert for three and a half weeks on top of a mountain and it's 100 degrees and you're yelling at people all day. Yeah, you kind of lose your mind. That's about where I'm at right now, Losing my mind. When I come out here and I start walking around junk cars for entertainment, I think I need to go see my psychiatrist. Well, I don't want to see my psychiatrist because I ain't got one, but I might get one.

[Ted Fowler]

How's this show turning out, man? Are you happy with it?

[Steve Austin]

Oh, man, yeah. These people coming out here kicking it. Kicking, yeah. These people coming out here and kicking ass. We had an epic day two days ago, and the day before. That was awesome. I mean, the last few days have been impeccable. I think it's going to be really, really good season. So I'm happy with it. You know, I was hoping we filmed 10 episodes or we're filming 10 episodes. We have two days left. You know, last time we were going for 20, and then the crew went on strike, so only got 18. But, you know, when we hit 10, I mean, like, that's when you kind of really get your groove on. And the first few days, because we hadn't been out here in a year. You know, you clunk around for like two days and it's like, okay, well, first day's Monday, and then it's the first day of shooting. So along with the Monday and it's the first day of shooting, you got to settle into a groove. You got to get the clunks out. Everybody's got to get in rhythm. Everybody's got to get synced up. Everybody knows what their job is, you know, and fuck just me going through the bases. Dude, when you don't do something in a year, you know you don't have your chops up. So you got to get into a groove. We finally do that, and now there's only two days left. So now I have my thumb up my ass looking for another job.

[Ted Fowler]

Maybe next year you can start kind of like a spring training. You can stand out in the front yard and yell at Kristen, get yourself

[Steve Austin]

get a little head start on everybody, too. Well, mister, you better come up with someone else for me to yell at. At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light

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[Steve Austin]

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[Steve Austin]

Man, I've been trying to get my diet toned in over here and finally I just said, you know what? Because I laid off the beer because I was trying to drop a few LBs and I had all my stuff measured out. I knew what I was doing with my calories. And then finally I was drinking about a glass of wine, about a glass and a half of wine every night before I wind down. And I said, man, you know what? I think I'm doing everything perfect. I don't know anything else I could be doing. So then I said, you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to stop drinking wine and I'm going to stop drinking diet Red Bull. I know diet Red Bull ain't got about 0 calories or 10 calories per serving, but everybody says, hey man, that stuff ain't good. For you, I drank the shit out of it. Ain't hurt me yet. So anyway, I eliminated the wine and I eliminated the Red Bull. Then I said, fuck it, I'll eliminate coffee too. Now, I know people are saying, shit, Steve, coffee ain't got no calories to speak of. But here's my routine. So every morning I get up and you know those big ass mugs of coffee I drink, Ted?

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So they're about. Well, they're damn near 16 ounces apiece. I mean, it's a big. It's a double shot of coffee from this badass coffee machine. So in theory, if I fill my fucking drum up with a half a gallon of coffee offer, you know, like half of a big water bottle, you know, those 1.5 liter bottles that would give you an estimate of volume. And then I throw my eggs and a cup and a half of oatmeal in there. I don't know, I just don't think it makes for a good environment for the digestive process. And dude, when you think, if someone would have told me to give up coffee, if someone would have said, hey, Steve, I want you to stop coffee, I'm like, why? To lose weight or just would like for you to quit, say, fuck yourself, man, I ain't gonna quit coffee. So anyway, stopped drinking coffee. Dia Red Bull stopped drinking wine. Now the goddamn scale started moving that. Now the goddamn needle on the scale started moving. So shit, Ted, now as we speak. Hell, I don't know, I guess I'm in my second week of no alcohol, which ain't no big deal because I have that kind of personality. When I say you're X' ed out of game, you're X' ed out of game. Same thing with the Red Bull. I stopped wine and Red Bull on the same day. And then a few days later, I stopped coffee. And hell, a lot of people say when you get off coffee or caffeine, you might have withdrawals or you might get headaches. I ain't get no goddamn headache. And you know, the thing about it is, and you know us at the ranch, how we're so regimented with our coffee routine, carrying a mug to the deer stand and the little fucking yeti or whatever, I wouldn't think that I'd be able to wake up as good without it. It takes me a con hair longer to get going. But now that I'm not jacking myself up with so much caffeine and so much of that diet Red Bull, I stay a lot more even throughout the day. So anyway, that's what I'm going. That's what's going on with my nutrition program. And it's starting to pay off. I'm finally starting to see some fucking results in the gym. And as far as the shoulder goes, I'm up to 55 pound dumbbell presses on the incline. And this morning I trained shoulders before I came out here, and now I'm up to 35 pound dumbbell presses. Now with my left shoulder, I can probably do 80 pound presses. But with that right shoulder, I train everything bilaterally, so I'm just letting the left side stay with the right side. And maybe in about a week and a half, maybe two weeks, I'll jump up to 40. So, dude, I kind of got everything kicked in a groove here. So that's my system, and that's what's going on. What's going on with you? Because you were telling me you were trying to manipulate your diet a little bit. But first, before you tell me about that, what do you think about the no caffeine thing? Dude, that's. That's pretty badass, dude.

[Ted Fowler]

I think that's brutal. You know, I would. I love caffeine, you know, I mean, I. I have three or four cups of coffee every morning. Drink diet Red Bull during the day. You know, hey, you know, whatever. Whatever you got to do. I mean, hell, I just keep drinking coffee and buy bigger shorts. That's what I do, you know? But nobody cares how I look. I ain't on tv, dude.

[Steve Austin]

I was walking around the junkyard a while ago looking at cars, and I was like, God damn, man, my shorts won't stay up. I must really be losing some weight. And I looked down. It's the true story. I pulled my shirt up, I looked down. My shorts wasn't buttoned. It was about to fall down around my knees. I'm like, man, I know I'm losing a little bit of weight, but this motherfucker crazy. Yeah. So I didn't have my shorts buttoned up, so I had that going for me. I haven't lost that weight. When you see me, I'll probably look exactly the same, but nonetheless, for anybody out there that drinks a little bit too much coffee, which I probably think I was, and it just wasn't really sitting well with my digestive process, I don't think because of my breakfast, dude, I just knock that shit out cold turkey. So a lot of people don't have the same personality I do. But when I set my mind to something, I just say, hey, fuck It. I'm done. That's it. Now what are you doing with your diet?

[Ted Fowler]

You are very diligent with your diet and, you know, cutting stuff out. Alcohol, you know, you have a lot more stick to it. Iveness towards that stuff than I do. Dude, my diet sucked. I mean, this weekend sure didn't help. Hell, I drove off, not only did I forget the battery for the Kubota, I forgot dozen eggs for breakfast. So I was eating top ramen and in the morning, you know, because, dude, I'm telling you, you talk about an idiot.

[Steve Austin]

No, no, don't be so hard on yourself, Ted.

[Ted Fowler]

Being such a creature of habit. Man, I'm loaded up in the Dodge. I've got water, I've got dog food, everything's packed. I'm. I'm, you know, in my mind, I'm already there at the ranch. And then when it, when, you know, you got a mechanical mishap, it just totally throws me into. Into a tailspin and I got to take everything out, put it in, you know, a different vehicle, put the dogs back in, you know, back in their kennel until I'm ready to go. And, you know, shit, I show up there at the ranch. I got no Jack Daniels, I got no eggs for breakfast. I got some lunch meat. I cut out cheese out of my diet. You know, that's, I guess, a good thing.

[Steve Austin]

How hard was that?

[Ted Fowler]

No, it's really not. I mean, you know, because I was having cheese on my eggs.

[Steve Austin]

I was kidding. God damn.

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

I just got finished telling you I quit. Alcohol diet, Red Bull and coffee, and you're talking about a block of cheese. Work with me,

[Ted Fowler]

dude. I only have to sound skinny on this podcast.

[Steve Austin]

Let me go get a fiddle and play a sad song while you're over whining.

[Ted Fowler]

I can't even have any cheese with my wine. Oh, no, dude. But I mean, it was. This weekend was a drizzling shits as far as eating goes, you know, and then leaving for Louisiana Tuesday, you know, with the guys. So I can't, you know, gonna be traveling 10 hours one way. So you can forget about any kind of diet on that. So possibly next week, possibly next week,

[Steve Austin]

we're going to drive Louisiana because you said your truck, your Dodge truck made it 37ft farther than it did last time. You're pulling the load. You had your buggy on there. So, you know, they tested it, but they tested it without pulling a load. They said it performed fine. All of a sudden, you hook all your shit up. It overheats on you, you turn around, you go back home, you throw your shit in the Suburban, you go back to of the ranch. So what the fuck's to do with your repair guy?

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, I have no idea. You know, because I, when I went there, I said, and I quote, the truck runs fine. And then I hooked up the trailer to haul my buggy to the ranch. Got over the bridge doing 50 miles an hour with the air conditioning off, and I'm redlining on the heat gauge.

[Steve Austin]

Did you think about opening the doors?

[Ted Fowler]

That was about the only thing that I didn't do.

[Steve Austin]

Okay, so what happened?

[Ted Fowler]

You know, so I, you know, do I have to write it down? You know, you're my mechanic. If I just told you that it works fine until I put the trailer on it. No, you know, yeah. And when I went to pick up, he goes, that should resolve issue. We had it sitting running for two hours with the air conditioning going, you know, and it never overheated. You know, it reminded me of that time I took that broad with me, that softball tournament. She sat in the cab of the truck the whole goddamn time with the air conditioning going because it was too fucking hot. Yeah, that was the last trip she made with me. But anyway, you know, so I think that, I think the issue is resolved. Pick the truck up Friday, load it all up, clunk, you know, we're down again. So tomorrow I am taking the buggy, the trailer and the truck, all three, over to the shop and say, here, you drive this thing down the road for a little while and tell me why it overheats and then fix it, please.

[Steve Austin]

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[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah, a bunch of the fishing guides here, they booked a charter, I don't know, going down into the Gulf of Mexico out of Venice, Louisiana. They're chasing after the big. I forget whether they're yellow fin or yellow tail. I forget which one are the biggest. But we're going after those.

[Steve Austin]

So how many days gonna be now?

[Ted Fowler]

Gonna drive? No, just one day. That's the thing, you know, driving, driving down on Tuesday, because it's a 10 hour trip, you know, because these guys, they want to get there at 3 o' clock in the afternoon, I guess, you know, so we can get warmed up to go out the following morning at 6:00am, fish all day, come back, have a good night's sleep, get up 6am and drive the 10 hours back to Rockport, you know, so we can get home, you know, by 3, 4 o' clock in the afternoon.

[Steve Austin]

Goddamn, Teddy. I like to fish as much as the next guy. And you. Well, you know, let me rephrase that. I like to catch fish. Because if those motherfuckers ain't biting, I'll throw out there 10, 15 times and then, you know, hit another place or another place. If they ain't biting, I'll spool it up and take to the house. I'm not just out there because I love sitting in a floatable device with the motor hooked onto it, casting a hook into the water for the hell of it so I can relax. I can do that on the goddamn land and not be wearing a life jacket. So I hope your 10 hour drive. See, here's the thing. I ain't driving no 10 hours to catch no fish. And like you're overthinking. Well, I ain't gonna quit alcohol, caffeine and die Red Bull. So I guess we've got a little fucking gimmick here. But. But dude, 10 hours, is that a little bit extreme? Are you going through a midlife Crisis,

[Ted Fowler]

dude, the last time I did anything that, that, you know, wasn't hunting related was when I went down there with you and Kristen to Mexico.

[Steve Austin]

Yep. Well, remember, you owe yourself a trip.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah. You know, do it every. Every couple of years. You know, it's. It's something. It's something that I. That I like doing, you know, going offshore and catching those tuna. And to be honest with you, when I signed on, I didn't realize it was 10 hours to our destination.

[Steve Austin]

See, now you're being honest with me because now I can buy that. Because I don't know if I'm buying into you knowing there's a 10 hour trip on front because you're way too savvy and you work too hard just to lollygag 10 hours one way and come back the next way. Total 20 hours.

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, I like those guys. And I enjoyed going out and fishing with them because we weighed fish and we, we get out into the water. One guy goes one way, one guy goes the other way, you know, so you ain't got to talk. You ain't gonna sit there and bullshit, you know, and people, you know, like, like you and me have done stuff. Hell, we've driven places and not really spoken to each other too much, you know, because you're quiet. You're quiet and I'm quiet. So now you're putting me in somebody else's Suburban with these guys for 10 hours. Like, man, I don't have that much dialogue, you know, I mean, and how do you. Because you know I'm gonna get annoyed, you know, so you start to trip off by saying, you know, hey guys, shut the fuck up. You know, God damn. Let's just. Let's just think about fishing or something.

[Steve Austin]

God damn. You ain't gotta get hot about it. So let me get this. How many you cocksuckers are going 10 hours to Louisiana?

[Ted Fowler]

There's six of us total. Three in one vehicle, three in the next.

[Steve Austin]

God damn. I was fixing to say, there's really gonna be something wrong with this picture if y' all all carpooling in one motherfucking car.

[Ted Fowler]

Fuck. I'd be sitting on the roof listening to my music.

[Steve Austin]

Give me about Beaumont right outside a little bit out of Houston. And Beaumont said, just let me off. Just pull over to restaurant. Just let me off. Does anybody have a gun? Dude, here's the thing. When you get. Okay, so you're taking two vehicles, three people in each vehicle. So you get out there, it's gonna be one big ass boat. Yeah, okay.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, probably. Probably a 32 footer.

[Steve Austin]

All right, well, you ain't gonna brag about it. Now. You're on a yacht, okay? So you're gonna be out on a 32 foot yacht with six other cats and probably gonna have a guy driving a boat. There might be someone helping you guys with the rigs or whatever because it's a charter, correct?

[Ted Fowler]

Correct.

[Steve Austin]

Okay, now, what kind of guys are these? How much do you like them? Because, Teddy, I'm 51, you're 50. You've been on a slew of deer leases just like me. And you always got a couple assholes in the lease that you just can't stand to sit around the fire with. They're always bitching, the glass is half full. Or they're a smart ass, or they've been there, done that, or they did it bigger and better than you ever did. So are these guys assholes? Are they cool? Cause, dude, when you drive all that distance, 20 hours travel time, then you jump in a boat, they better be good human beings or you might just fucking just push them all in the water.

[Ted Fowler]

Well, one of them I still haven't seen yet. So I'm, you know, I. I can't. I can't say anything about that. Cat. We had a team lunch, so to speak.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, y' all are team now?

[Ted Fowler]

Last. Yeah, yeah. No, last. Last Thursday. Tell me. Last Thursday I got. Dip incorporated.

[Steve Austin]

Okay, so tell me about the team meeting.

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude. So we go. We go to this place for lunch and, you know, sitting there and I'm thinking, all right, they're gonna. Andy, who's running the operation. And Andy's cool. He's a retired cop. He's cool. And Weasel, you know, that's my regular fishing partner, Mike. You know, both those guys are cool. And I. And I fish with him a bunch. And, you know, I've gone to dinner with them, but I don't invite him over to the house to watch Netflix. I mean, so we ain't that tight. The other two guys that were there, it's the first time I'd ever met him, you know, And I'm the youngest guy, so of course we've got to regale on about all of these stories. Stories about the one guy is going to Belize and the other guy, you know, was in Alaska.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah.

[Ted Fowler]

You know, catching all this, you know, and it's like, God damn. So I got 10 hours of listening to the very, you know, this guy's life story from the very first bluegill he caught, you know, to the. To the Fish tacos he just ordered. I got to listen to all that shit. And it's like, oh, dude. Yeah. So. So I'll be riding with Weasel and Andy.

[Steve Austin]

Well, let me ask you. Since y' all were able to gather the team together and have a lunch together, did y' all elect a captain?

[Ted Fowler]

Andy promoted himself as the charter. Charter master. Yeah. He's the guy that's, you know, divvying out all of the. All of the bills.

[Steve Austin]

You know, I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer you to be the big toe on that foot, Sergeant Holka.

[Ted Fowler]

They're sitting there going, you know, hey, we're gonna. You know, how many coolers are we gonna bring? And, you know, I got a cooler and I got a cooler. It's like, fuck, all right, whatever. Well, you know, I think we should just make a bunch of breakfast tacos, you know, in the morning so we don't have to pull over to eat. And I'm sitting there going, ah, fuck. You know, and you know how I am with my food.

[Steve Austin]

Like, dude, let me break in here, Teddy. Down at the ranch, like, if we're having green bean and corn and some meat. If Teddy likes green beans and he likes corn, but if the juices mix or if one of them touches the other, then it freaks him out and he won't eat it. So when he says he's picky with his food, that's what he means. Teddy, what about the separation of the green beans and the corn? What's up with that?

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude, once they have merged once. Once they have, you know, invaded each other's space, that's out, man. You just. That's shit's nasty, dude. You just can't. Can't do that, you know? I mean, you put every. Everything. You know, it's. It's like the laundry. You know, you separate the stuff you're supposed to. You don't just throw it all in. And hopefully for the best, you got to separate that stuff.

[Steve Austin]

God damn, Teddy. I've been washing all my same together forever. I mean, that's guy code. You throw everything in the washer. You use cold water and let it fly. And half time, you're too lazy to buy detergent, so you just wash your. Without no detergents. That's just straight up old school stuff. You've been there. Tell me.

[Ted Fowler]

I use warm water because it'll fill up the deal faster than just straight cold water.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, well, here's the thing. Going back to drive down to Louisiana and Back. So let's just say on the drive down there, so y' all all finding Danny, looking forward to the fishing trip, and then you go out there and you get on the boat and you fish from daylight till dawn. You get all sunburned and cranky and shit, and then the drive home, you know, someone didn't catch no fish, he's gonna be pissing and moaning. So you never know what's gonna happen. Happened on this thing. And here's the thing, Teddy. What? If you'd have said, hey, man, you know, I'm going to go with you guys, there's six of us. But just because I'm a loner and you. All you guys are. You guys are good guys, but I don't know if I can take 10 hours of you. I'm just going to ride by myself. See, then they'd be talking shit about your ass all the way 10 hours to Louisiana and all the way 10 hours back to Rockport because you'd be an asshole because you was too good to ride gas. Correct.

[Ted Fowler]

You are absolutely correct. You are absolutely correct. That's why everybody does separate checks, you know, at our little luncheon. That way, you know, it wasn't. Well, that. You know, that cheap ass only put in a dollar for a tip, you know. Yeah. I guess it's like Rockport's little knitting club, you know, with all the guys. Yeah. As much as I would like ride by myself so I didn't have to talk, I. I fear that would only create tension.

[Steve Austin]

Well, you guys are going down. Y' all are going down to the bond. And if you drove in a separate.

[Ted Fowler]

Just what I need. Five. Five more. Five more life coaches telling me why I need to be married and like that. Come on, guys, look how happy you are, you know?

[Steve Austin]

God damn it. I'll tell you what, it's only been, what it's been two months, two and a half months since I've seen you. You've changed. You've changed. Hey, man, every now and then I'll hear somebody and they'll say, yeah, I'm a life coach. And if you're a life coach, and I don't want to offend you, but sometimes some of the people that told me, because I don't have nothing against a life coach, if somebody needs help, guidance, assistance, whatever, that's cool, because some. Some people need support. They don't have support, and that can be the person. But some of the life coaches I've seen, Teddy, because I've known them, are absolute train wrecks. So I'm thinking this motherfucker's a life coach to this person, and that person's fucked up enough, and now they got this fucked up person telling them more fucked up shit. They ain't gonna know where to shit or wind their watch or if what's being told to them is valid information at all. Because the life coach is more up than the up person needs. Life coach. You see what I'm saying?

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. I don't know. I don't think I've ever met anybody that, you know, said they were a life coach.

[Steve Austin]

I'm married to one. I'm kidding.

[Ted Fowler]

Damn it. Dude, I. We're. We're getting ready to leave at the restaurant and at our lunch. And I said, hey, you guys, I'm, you know, I'm doing a remodel. I got to get, get back to the job. And Andy said something about getting down there in time. And we'll, you know, crack open a few beers and stuff and, and just dead serious. I go, hey, are there any hookers there in Louisiana? And dude, those guys didn't flinch. Nobody snickered. They just looked at me like, you

[Steve Austin]

know, you're the devil.

[Ted Fowler]

Like, I was like, yeah. Like I was speaking, you know, French or something. And I'm like, oh, boy. Yeah, what a crew.

[Steve Austin]

You know, Savvy hooker. Yeah.

[Ted Fowler]

I'm like, it's gonna be Tuesday show for two days.

[Steve Austin]

Well, dude, these are all probably guys that are married with families. You're probably only bachelor out of group.

[Ted Fowler]

You're absolutely correct.

[Steve Austin]

Well, see, if a bunch of married guys are hanging around. And the one dude that's just kind of a lone wolf says, hey, man, they got any hookers down there? Teddy, I'll be your life coach. You go get some fucked up looks.

[Ted Fowler]

I thought I'd get at least one. Well, hell, let's hope so. But nope. Crickets.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, dude, here's what's going to happen. All your five buddies are going to be on a 32 footer with all the guys, you know, putting the bait on their hooks and shit like that, and taking the fish off their hooks and putting them in a cooler, and they're going to be towing you with a 50 foot rope and a little john boat. They're going to have your little styrofoam container earthworms and a little fucking cane pole.

[Ted Fowler]

Little red and white bobber. Come on, guys.

[Steve Austin]

Hey, let me ask you something, Ted. Whoa, whoa. Let me ask you just straight up. What does a chartered 32 foot boat

[Ted Fowler]

with six cats cost 1800 bucks for the day.

[Steve Austin]

God damn. So split it that three ways, that's 300 plus. You gotta tip everybody. Then you got fuel. So how do you guys go? Gonna work out the fuel.

[Ted Fowler]

Andy is keeping track of, you know, the gas purchases going down, the food, you know, the breakfast tacos and, you know, sandwich meat and that shit that he's buying. And then when it's all said and done, he'll put pencil to paper and, you know, we'll split it up six ways and cash out at the end.

[Steve Austin]

See, man, a long time ago, back before I was around, but I heard this story from Skandar Akbar and Branko Lubitsch, the famous referee down there. World class sportatorium in Skandar. Akbar was the leader of Devastation Incorporated, one of the best factions in the history of pro wrestling. One of the guys was his wife, made a whole bunch of sandwiches, had soft drinks and everything like that. And they went down the road and the guy said, hey, man, you want a sandwich? Yeah, how about something to drink? Sure. And everybody's thinking, man, this guy's great. Got all this food and everything. And you know, you got to split trans because everybody's got to give their gas money. It's like that old bumper sticker, ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free, right? Well, they did over there. Wrestled, did the shot, came on back and the guy said, okay, you had two ham and cheese sandwiches, you had a Coke. He started taling up. He had tallied up all the. That those guys at 8 and charged them for it. It's a smart.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, but you got to disclose that before you, you know, you dupe somebody into it. No, that is, that's, that's good.

[Steve Austin]

But this is back in the day now. Like if you and me was going somewhere, either you'd run in and catch the breakfast tacos, or I'd go in and catch the breakfast tacos and it's. We're. We're even. That's just the way we do it, right? But yeah, man, when you get to just some guys you don't know. Yeah. It's like sometimes if I'm making over my house or vice versa down at the ranch. Hey, man, I'm gonna make a pile of stuff. You want some? Yeah. So we just split it down the middle. You know, if I know somebody, that's the way it's gonna roll. But if I gotta barely know you or I kind of just know you. Yeah, man, you're not in on the brother system because you know, then that's when you gotta start carving shit up like no, motherfucker. Two sandwiches, two Diet Cokes, and a bottle of water. I got a charge.

[Ted Fowler]

Well, dude, here's. Here's the problem. They're going to make those, those breakfast tacos and make the sandwiches. Are they all going to be individually wrapped? You know, because I don't want. I don't want you showing up with a Tupperware pie plate container and pop the lid off and there's about 15 breakfast tacos in there. And everybody reaches in with their, you

[Steve Austin]

know, with their old clamors.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, they're old dick beaters. And start, you know, here, Ted, you want one? No.

[Steve Austin]

Well, I just want one until you put your dick beater on it. Yeah. God damn it.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you lick it first before you hand it to me? Yeah, and then I'll take it. It's like, son of a. Yeah. So I, you know, show up with a five pound bag of sunflower seeds, be like, no, guys, I'm good.

[Steve Austin]

And there's always a guy, you know, you got. You see it coming. You're sitting there talking to the guys, y' all just finished your team lunch at the restaurant, and you're fixing to shake hands with everybody. And the guy sitting there telling the story, and he reaches in with his right hand because he's right handed, and with his thumb digs out some shit in his nose and wipes it on his pants. And you look at that act and you know he's about to stick his hand out and shake yours. Because that's what you do when you leave someone and shake the their hand. And you're like, man, that motherfucker just stuck his finger up his nose and I gotta shake his hand. You ever do that?

[Ted Fowler]

No. But I'll tell you what, one of them old grizzled bastards pulled out a business card out of his wallet and started digging out of his teeth while we were sitting there at the table. I'm like, dude, they got a shaker full of toothpicks up at the desk on your way out. I mean, is. Is whatever. You got that annoying in your teeth that you got to ferret it out with a damn business card right here at the table.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, I tried that business card shit for about a month. You know, I just, hey, what the fuck? You know, Same gimmick, same gimmick. And you know, you got that. You always got those little spots in your teeth that just gather food and it's bothering the shit out of me. So it doesn't have any dental floss. And I don't like toothpicks myself. My dad, as soon as he gets through, he, Beverly wear toothpicks me if I got something lodged in between my teeth. If my fingernail can't get it, then I got to use some dental floss when I just find some dental floss. But I started using those credit cards and when you do that, it gaps your teeth out because that credit card is so much thicker than a piece of dental floss, it'll fuck your shit up. So it took me about a month for my teeth to go back to normal. So I don't use business cards on my teeth. But if you got one for your phone number and your email address, I'll take it.

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, I got two Christmas gifts that I just, just put on the list for you. One of them is a pair of suspenders and the other one are those little one hit tooth flosser deals. Have you seen those? A little plastic deal. I don't know.

[Steve Austin]

My wife loves those things because they got the, the toothpick hatchet on the other side of them.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So basically a toothpick with a little half moon with the dental floss string. I know exactly what you're talking about. I hate those cocksuckers because my teeth are gapped together at the top and loose on the bottom. So I damn near bust a string in half every time I use one of those little pricks. So anyway, no, I don't like those things, Teddy, But I got to ask you one more time, dude, you ain't never been on a location of a job or something like that, and then all of a sudden, sudden, if the guy ain't picking his nose, he sneezes in his hand and then you got to shake his head. Dude, this is one of my biggest pet peeves in history. And that's why I got some alcohol scrub usually within close quarters of wherever I'm at. Shit like that don't bother you Because I know that when I get into my car, I'm going to start picking my nose, I'm going to start rubbing my eyes. And if I start rubbing my eyes after this guy just sneezed in his hand, scratch his ass, or picked his nose, all that shit is gonna be transferred into my person.

[Ted Fowler]

Yes, dude, that bothers me. It bothers me terribly when you're talking to a customer and they, you know, excuse me, turn their head, cough, you know, like they've been working in the coal mines for 40 years and they want to shake your hand or, you know, get next to you and put their arm around you and, you know, start hugging on you. You. It's like, dude, oh man, I'd like to hit you with this hammer, you know? Yeah, like, dude, really, I'll. I'll take your money, but I'd appreciate if you wouldn't touch me. You know,

[Steve Austin]

Teddy, I'm intrigued with this fishing trip. Whose rides are yalls taking? Who's driving?

[Ted Fowler]

I don't know. One of the guys named Jack. Who I just, just met him on Thursday. He's driving his Suburban and I think Weasel's taking his four door diesel truck. Pretty nice. One of those Duramax.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, dude. But here's another thing, dude. I mean, you're 6 4. You better roll up on those bitches and say shotgun.

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, they. That's. That's already implied. If I ride with Weasel, I'll be, I'll be shotgun.

[Steve Austin]

Because your grandfather, that's your buddy.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't want to ride with the other guys because I don't know him and I don't want to talk.

[Steve Austin]

Well, I know, but I, you know, I just got a. I got a real bad way about getting stuffed in the back seat. It's like. We used to call it Diamond Dallas Page, the world's tallest 6 foot 4 guy because Dallas would always call shotgun. He had the least seniority in the business. And then he'd jack his seat all the way back and tilt his seat back. You know, like the, the motherfucker and coach that does the same shit to you on the airplane. That's what Dallas used to do on our road trips. We used to make fun of him and we laughed about it all the time now. But back in, the guy in the backseat was madder than the Hornet because he had no leg room.

[Ted Fowler]

They can put me in the back seat, but I get wicked car sick.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, that was. I can't remember who that was. It was. I can't say if it was Stan Hansen or somebody. Somebody. It was one of the tough guys in the business. And the gimmick was back in the day. Now I was always a wheeled guy. I only trusted a select few guys that I would let drive me. And of course, I used to be travel partners with Billy Gunn, who was an excellent driver. Kevin Nash, who's an excellent driver, wouldn't let Mick Foley drive. Brian Pillman scared the shit out of me because he drove so goddamn fast. So anyway, one of the guys back in the day, the gimmick was to get a young guy who was breaking into business, a greenhorn. Because all the veterans, they didn't want to drive anymore. They just wanted to drink beer, relax, or tell stories. So the guy's deal was if somebody wanted somebody to drive, but if he had to sit in the back, he would get car sick and he'd act like he's going to throw up and make a big production about it. So he was always riding shotgun. It was just. It was a veteran trick. It was a shitty story. I got lost three times telling the sun bitch. But like I said, I've been on top of a fucking mountain in a desert for three. It's almost like being in a van down by the river. That's where I'm at mentally.

[Ted Fowler]

See, dude, I don't get carsick right in the back seat. But you bought into it, so they will, you know. I mean, I can tell you your

[Steve Austin]

range as an actor

[Ted Fowler]

getting better.

[Steve Austin]

God damn.

[Ted Fowler]

Do I sound any skinnier?

[Steve Austin]

No. Teddy, what's. What's coming up next for you? You had a couple of big jobs that you lined up. Are you through at those? And you're out of space where you can just take off on a Tuesday and go catch a bunch of fish?

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, you know what? The painter starts Monday, you know, so they'll be in there all week. Gotta spray the kitchen cabinets, wall ceiling, the whole shebang. That's that country club remodel I've been doing. Yeah. So I am at a. At a standstill with what I can do for the week. So it worked out perfectly. So, yeah, I can peel off. And then I had a second remodel lined up, and I got some. Some bad reviews from people I know of the customer saying that the lady was very difficult to work with. So I called her and politely declined the opportunity to work for her.

[Steve Austin]

How'd you take a nose?

[Ted Fowler]

She told me I was bipolar and she hung up on me.

[Steve Austin]

Maybe she needs a life coach.

[Ted Fowler]

I don't know. You know, that was one of those deals that would have been a. I would have gone into it, and after about the. The second day, I'd be sitting there going, you know, what. What are you doing? This is gonna suck, you know, and you can't quit.

[Steve Austin]

Start a job, you can't quit because that's bad on you.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

If you're gonna take it, you gotta. Hey, did you get those pictures I sent you?

[Ted Fowler]

Of what?

[Steve Austin]

68 Pontiac Le Mans convertible?

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one. And The. The Bronco that was the sheriff's.

[Steve Austin]

No, no, no. I just sent you these. I just. I retook them. I sent you another bronco. The one I went and started. That one just came out here. There's no hearse Cadillac. About a 70 model. That's pretty trick. I don't think we want to make that to our hunting buggy. There's senior picture of that SS Nova.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking at them now.

[Steve Austin]

But dude, look at the Le Mans convertible. Now, dude, if that don't say broken ranch all over. And I was thinking, you know, maybe. I'm serious, maybe we'll remove the front seats, take out the back seats, add about a three foot, you know, get it welded in. A three foot, you know, rack with two bucket seats, a gun holder, extend the steering shaft or the steering column. Extend the steering column. So basically it'd be like a top drive Pontiac Le Mans convertible. And then a rest for you to put your gun on. Dude. Tell me, I mean, that would be the ultimate, would it not?

[Ted Fowler]

I'm sorry, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. That thing's got some nice rims on it too. Man. I'd ride around that thing.

[Steve Austin]

Got some old slots on it. There's been some bondo on that front quarter panel. There's also a lot of work. Work on a little bit of rust. But other than that, when you climb underneath it, it's reasonably clean. You don't want to dump a ton of money on this thing. But if it's got the 350 in it, you throw a set of mud grips on the back. We don't ride around in the mud anyway. But you just got to have some mud grips on some high ply tires. Slime them, dude. Just run two mufflers on that thing so it's quiet as fuck. You could roll up on some deer, hogs, coons, I mean, the whole gamut. You could turkey hunt out this cocksucker. You could paint it camouflage. You could put a wrap on it. Tell me, would that not be the ultimate hunting rig or not?

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, that'll be it, man. Get welded receiver hitch on the back side of it. So you could put that tray. Yep, back there. So after you shoot something, you can throw it up on that tray. I'm digging it. Either that or the Hearst. That Hurst is pretty cool too, man.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, I was thinking about getting the hearse just to take you back and forth to the titty clubs, dude. I mean, that thing is in pretty damn good condition. Get you a limo driver. What does a limo driver cost down there in Rockport? Dude? All you gotta do is find someone with a license and say, hey man, I'm gonna give you $10 an hour to drive me around. But you probably. And then say you're probably, probably only work about two hours a week. Get them to take an Uber, come over to your house, they get into your Cadillac hearse and they say where you want to go. And you tell them the Corpus to the ticket club. Boom, done. You show up to the palace, to the Palace. You get this thing, dude. Hey, get this thing detailed. There was a guy pitching some kind of shit on TV the other day. I got to get Krishna to come on the palace podcast. She's got some home shopping networks or what's that gimmick channel called when they sell all the products? Qvc. God damn, those people on QVC got my mother in law hooked. They're selling her all kinds of shit. So anyway, I was watching TV the other day and some guy, one of those pitch guys, as they call them, was talking about this shit you just wipe on a car and wipe off and it looks like it's brand new. And so you could get that shit, I think they sell it for 9.99 and the second one's for free. You could Pay that dude $10 to apply it, $10 an hour to apply it. Your Cadillac hearse would look brand new. You show up at the palace, dude, I'm thinking Trim City.

[Ted Fowler]

Either that or put us in that three door Suburban.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, I'm telling you, that three door Suburban, it looked like it's all original. The problem is, I think it was two wheel drive. Obviously the Cadillac Hearst is two wheel drive, but if you're gonna get a Suburban, you gotta go four wheel drive. So I wasn't really high on the Suburban. The three door option is what I'm intrigued in. But if you're gonna go suburban, you gotta go four wheel drive.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, dude, but I mean the three door Suburban, if you get a stripper that has, let's say, a friend that is not quite as visually appealing as she is, you can, you can tell the hot one here, get in on the passenger side, honey, you jump in behind the driver and you know, we'll head back to Rockport. No door.

[Steve Austin]

So when the driver takes on the girl, the girl is not as easy to look at standing in the parking lot.

[Ted Fowler]

What a real farouka got left behind.

[Steve Austin]

God damn it. Dude, I think there might be something wrong with you. I guarantee You, Teddy, I think you need a life coach.

[Ted Fowler]

That or a cup of coffee. Something. I don't know.

[Steve Austin]

God damn it. Well, Teddy, anything else going on that's important?

[Ted Fowler]

Ah, man, Dove season. I think it starts Friday. Either Friday or Saturday. I got to look at it again? No, just, you know, looking. Looking forward to getting into the season.

[Steve Austin]

Well, all right. I'm gonna ride off in the sunset. I'm gonna go over. Look what I gotta do tomorrow with the instructions. Tomorrow we're filming all of the promotional stuff for Broken Skull Challenge, along with more activities with contestants and stuff like that. It's gonna be a pretty heavy day. Then we'll wrap up on Tuesday and I'll pack all my shit up. I took half of stuff I brought out here home last weekend or this past Friday, rather. And now it's all coming to an end, and I'm ready to get the fuck out of here and go on to the next gig. Teddy, you're.

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, I got a question for you.

[Steve Austin]

Hold on, hold on.

[Ted Fowler]

Hey, when you say you're wrapping up on Tuesday, are you still running contestants on Tuesday? And, you know, you guys work a full day, or is it really done on Monday, and then you're just kind of, you know, chasing down loose ends on Tuesday? How does that. How does that work?

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, it's contestants both days.

[Ted Fowler]

So you're gonna.

[Steve Austin]

We're still. We're still filming.

[Ted Fowler]

You're gonna work a full day Tuesday, and then, you know what. What time do you shut down? 5, 6 o' clock at night?

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, right before. Usually we get done right before we start losing the light. The other day, we had something. We had to fix something, and it was an extra thing that we had to do. So then I was supposed to do a photo shoot afterwards, but, man, that sun started dropping behind the mountains, and we had 20 minutes to do the photo shoot. And the guy who's a great photographer, he comes out here. He's been taking pictures of me from Redneck island to all the seasons of Broken Skull Challenge. So I know the guy. The thing about him is I like. He knows that I only have about two poses and about two looks. So you know when you see on tv, if you're watching E. Network or whatever is on TV anymore, and they say, oh, yeah, that's sexy. Okay, do this. Oh, that's great. They got the music going in the background. This ain't one of those photo shoots. It's me standing there. I either got my fist up or I'm pointing at the camera. I got A smirk off my face or I got a shit eating grin and. And that's about it. But you would be amazed at how many pictures of those four looks I just gave you that they want to take. Because once you start getting with that loop and magnifying those pictures and saying, okay, out of all those pictures, they'll find the best motherfucking grimace with my finger pointed at you or my fist made and the skull ring positioned perfectly for the right angle for the advertisement. So. So, yeah, we had 20 minutes left and that guy, literally, the sun was going down behind the mountain and they were moving that damn white screen with a flash to it, closer and closer to me. They were just keeping it out of the camera lens. And it's amazing what they can do with light. Before I wrap up. What's amazing out here, Teddy, to get off the photo shoot and go back to the filming of a broken skull challenge? We're on these different mountaintops out here in the desert. And you've been out here, it's bright as fuck. And there'll be guys across the ridge over there with these big. They call them shiny boards. And I guess they're three by three or four by four or five by five. And they're on these pedestals and they can tilt them and there's a guy that will come over and stand next to me and he's got this talkie device that he can communicate with the guy over at that shiny board. And they'll tilt those cocksuckers so they catch the sun and shoot it right at me. And it lights me up better and the contestants better. It makes you look like a superstar. That you would never think when you're out there just taking pictures or whatever that you would need an alternative light source. But when you get that light source, the way those guys kick it over, it's just unreal. And so, you know, they've been filming for what, a hundred years now, I guess, and they figured out all those tricks. But just when you're out there and all so much sunlight, you think, don't you have enough light? But in actuality, it gives you another layer of depth and it raises your production value. Pretty crazy.

[Ted Fowler]

That's interesting.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. So that guy's looking at the sun all day, looking at the shiny boards, and he'll say, steve, man, it's going to get hot. And I see because he's looking out for my eyes. I said, I'm good, dude. Because you don't look directly at the shiny boards. After I had my Two retinas replaced after season two. I figured that out. I'm kidding. It's like. Dude, it's kind of like using a goddamn one of those magnifying glasses to light up a fucking ant.

[Ted Fowler]

Right, right.

[Steve Austin]

Anyway, no, no, we got. We're running full contestants out here, and then on Tuesday, we're done. So I'm gonna pack all my shit up and bolt back down to Marina del Rey.

[Ted Fowler]

That's cool. That's cool.

[Steve Austin]

Well, on Twitter, he's Ted Fowler361. On Instagram, he's Ted Fowler361. Why? Because his name is Ted Fowler and 361 is the South Texas area code. I'm Steve Austin, BSR. The BSR stands for broken Skull Ranch. And I'm on Twitter and I'm on Instagram under Steve Austin, bsr. And that's all I got to say. Teddy, if. Good talking to you. I will see you soon as we put the wrath on some duffs.

[Ted Fowler]

All right, I'll send you a picture of a tuna. Either a tuna or a Louisiana hooker.

[Steve Austin]

Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy. Stacy, Stacy, trim.

[Ted Fowler]

That's from my life coach.

[Steve Austin]

Stacy, trim that out. No, I'm just kidding. Leave it in. It's the unleashed version. All right, everybody give me to go home. Q. It's time to wrap up his podcast and ride off in the sunset. But before I do that, I'm gonna give you guys something to watch. I was watching last night, as a matter of fact, before I went to bed in my own bed in my own House at 316 Gimmick Street. It felt so good to be out of that big ass trailer that they had me in. That motherfucker's nice, but it ain't as nice as my goddamn bed. And I got my wife beside me, and I got two dogs in a bed, so I was happy to get home. But anyway, the video I want to tell you about is on YouTube, and it's an interview I did about two years ago with Michael Chevella, the voice on YouTube. All you have to do is go to Stone Cold Steve Austin comes clean about the wrestling business. It's basically me talking to Michael Chevella, the Voice. The Voice versus different people. And I was watching that interview last night, and I was like, man, that guy did a great interview. I'd been trying to get down to Vegas and talk to that guy, but I just hadn't been able to get down to Vegas and talk to that guy. But, man, he did his research, high energy on the interview, and I Remember when the interview first started off, you know, I was kind of tired, didn't know if it felt like being there. And it turned out to be a great interview. Many of you have seen it before. If you haven't seen it, it's a great insight to what I was singing at that time in history when me and Michael Chevella hooked up at that hotel and they rolled the cameras. Seriously something to watch. Hey, man, Pro Rustin tees. They've been making all my T shirts over at Broken Skull Ranch and you can find all those T shirts at broken skull ranch.com Broken Skull IPA from El Segundo Brewing Company in California can be found at Whole Foods and Total Wines. If you don't live there, just go to insidethecellar.com or brokenschoolranch.com and and see if they ship to your state. And don't forget about this, everybody needs a kno. And don't forget about this, everybody needs a pocket knife. The Steve Austin Broken Skull knife from Cold Steel Knives is available at broken skull ranch.com the easiest place to get it is using Amazon and using my links. The knife costs 75 bucks. 75 bucks. Don't let those other retail prices fool you. It's very affordable. Hey man, I appreciate y' all supporting the sponsor of the Steve Austin podcast. They're the ones that let me do this for you free twice a week. So I got to give a big thanks to ddpyoga.com go to ddpyoga.com Austin to get 20% off the DDP Yoga program and three months of full access to the DDP Yoga now app. Big thanks to DraftKings go to draftkings.com and use the promo code Unleashed to play for free with your first deposit this weekend. Tibet dsi.com use my promo code Austin25 to get 25 bucks free to try the service. Big thanks to Dollar Shave Club. Get a month free when you sign [e-mail] Unleashed big thanks to Onnit. Get 10% off your [e-mail] Steve and of course, big thanks to Amazon. They've been supporting this podcast since day one. Just use my Amazon links whenever you're doing any online shopping and Amazon will kick back a couple of bucks to the podcast does not cost you anything extra. There's no hidden fees or charges. You can buy whatever you plan on buying and help out the podcast in the process. And you can find my Amazon links by going to podcastone.com clicking on the killer Deals button in the top right corner of the page and then hitting the Steve Austin show button. I got Amazon links for USA, UK and Canada. So again, go to podcastone.com click the killer deals button in the top right corner, then click on the Steve Austin Show. All my sponsors are there, all my Amazon links are there. And that helps pay the production costs on the podcast. If you bookmark it, you can find that motherfucking thing a lot easier. Hey, Keep listening to 62nd AP news headlines coming up next. Until next time, I'm gonna take my ass out in the yard, look for a fucking spider and if I find him, I will exterminate his ass. I'll catch your ass down the road.

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Download new episodes of Steve Austin Unleashed

[Steve Austin]

every [e-mail] that's podcastone.com. At first I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light

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and I was transported to another place.

[Steve Austin]

Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows and they were all free. Truth is, it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100 and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream now pay.

[Podcast Co-host]

Never have you ever thought this water is too wet.

[Commercial Announcer]

This beach is too sandy.

[Podcast Co-host]

Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. The podcast where we do dramatic readings of the most wild and off the wall reviews on the Internet.

[Commercial Announcer]

We read real reviews about everything from Vegas weddings, matchmaking services and Trader Joe's to caves, toddler beds and spirit Halloween.

[Podcast Co-host]

You won't believe the things people think Absolutely must be said on the Internet. How else would everyone know that some caves don't have WI fi?

[Ted Fowler]

We hear about the good, like the

[Commercial Announcer]

time a couple was happily married in a Vegas Denny's.

[Podcast Co-host]

And the bad, like who knew people stole from pet cemeteries?

[Commercial Announcer]

And the ugly. Because when there's soggy lettuce in the Chuck E. Cheese salad bar, it can get pretty ugly.

[Podcast Co-host]

Join us every Wednesday wherever you listen to your podcasts. I feel targeted by that pet cemetery's comment.

[Ted Fowler]

I know.

[Commercial Announcer]

I was about to say, wasn't that you?

[Podcast Co-host]

That was me, yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

This week at Safeway and Albertsons, 6 to 16 ounce selected varieties of strawberries, raspberries or blackberries are $1.99 each. Limit 3 member price with coupon and extra meaty pork back ribs or St. Louis style spareribs.

[Ted Fowler]

Bone in.

[Commercial Announcer]

Previously frozen are $2.99, 99 per pound limit. Four member price with coupon plus medium avocados, colored bell peppers or English cucumbers sold by the each or tomatoes on the vine or sweet onions sold by the pound are $0.99 member price. Visit safewayoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.