Teddy Fowler is Back - SAS CLASSIC

Summary

The Steve Austin Show: Teddy Fowler is Back – SAS Classic

Date: June 11, 2026
Host: Steve Austin
Guest: Ted Fowler

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Episode Overview

In this classic episode, Steve Austin welcomes back his close friend Teddy Fowler for a candid, humorous, and wide-ranging conversation recorded from Los Angeles with both reminiscing about past hunting and fishing adventures, their latest health kicks, and the highs and lows of daily life. As always, Austin brings his unfiltered Texas charm to stories about hunting misadventures, LA life frustrations, weight loss journeys, and the camaraderie of old friends catching up. The episode is full of banter, practical wisdom, and the kind of stories that make listeners feel like they're hanging out with Steve and Ted in real time.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Updates: Steve Austin’s Upcoming Trip

[02:06 – 11:20]

• Steve details his morning in LA at “316 Gimmick Street,” prepping for an RV trip to Sparks, Nevada, to visit his brother-in-law Mitch, along with his wife and dogs.
• He shares meticulous plans for the journey, factoring in a last-minute meeting at El Segundo Brewing Company, adjusting the anticipated drive time and dealing with LA traffic.
• Steve’s brother-in-law Mitch was delayed after hitting a cow with his truck on the way to guide a hunt, leading to car trouble and family storytelling.

“I got a meeting over at el Segundo Brewing Company here at about 10am and when I get out of that meeting we’re going to throw the rest of our shit in that RV and haul ass to Sparks, Nevada.” — Steve Austin [03:05]

2. Austin’s Diet & Fitness Commitment

[02:50 – 05:20; 41:04 – 47:58]

• Steve describes his renewed focus on losing weight, targeting 250 lbs by November and ditching alcohol and “haphazard efforts” for strict dietary discipline.
• He emphasizes the importance of consistency and removing all non-essential items (like wine and Splenda) from his diet.
• Saturday is “weigh day;” his strategy revolves around precise calorie counts rather than overdoing cardio.
• Ted shares his own dietary adjustments—such as giving up cheese—and struggles with work/life balance.

“I am 100% consistent and doing my due diligence with my dietary stuff. So everything that I put into my system is measured and accounted for.” — Steve Austin [04:06]

“I gave up cheese, man. So I’m well on my way to getting in better shape for this guy.” — Ted Fowler [38:45]

3. City vs. Country Life: LA Rants and Driving Pet Peeves

[07:30 – 10:50]

• Steve’s frustrations with life in LA: extreme heat, the false promise of “fall weather” in SoCal, and bad drivers who ignore blinkers.
• He misses the more private, outdoorsman-friendly lifestyle of Texas, reminiscing about hunting and personal space.

“Not one single motherfucker was using their blinkers... It’s a real clusterfuck.” — Steve Austin [09:27]

4. Hunting & Shooting Stories – Humble Brag and Humbling Realities

[13:46 – 22:02]

• Steve and Ted joke about upcoming hunting trips, with Steve lamenting that, despite being an excellent shot with a rifle, he is terrible at shooting doves with a shotgun.
• They describe their tag-team hunting approach and the never-ending comedy of missed shots and stubborn birds.

“I ain’t worth a flying fuck with a shotgun... Ted’s seen me, the bird is just flying over like, shoot me. I dare you to shoot me.” — Steve Austin [19:36]

5. Pellet Gun Tales & Urban Outdoorsmanship

[22:02 – 34:06]

• Steve recounts buying an 1100-fps pellet gun from Bass Pro Shop (after realizing California’s big stores don’t sell them like in Texas) and realizing it’s overkill for city pests.
• Both discuss modern pellet guns versus classic models and compare their advanced new gear.
• The story rolls into Ted’s city woes in Rockport, Texas—including feuds with a neighbor carelessly shooting at ducks with a handgun.

“This thing is 47 inches long, an inch shy of 4 foot. And it’s a goddamn pellet gun, for God’s sake.” — Steve Austin [28:58]

“You’re shooting at ducks with a handgun. You know, use your head, man...” — Ted Fowler [32:57]

6. Dealing with Difficult Neighbors

[34:06 – 38:45]

• Ted tells a story about confronting his neighbor for shooting at ducks, managing not to escalate things despite the neighbor’s bravado in front of his wife.
• Steve gives playful but practical advice, referencing “Rocky” training montages and the “Eye of the Tiger” approach to dealing with conflict.

“If someone’s in the background or the backdrop... there’s a chance that a damn stray bullet could come flying. Is you that fucking stupid...” — Steve Austin [36:02]

7. The Realities of Their Health Choices

[41:04 – 51:06]

• Both reflect on the impacts of age, work stress, diet, and the challenge of maintaining health goals—Ted aiming for 245 lbs, Steve for 250, both cutting out alcohol and certain foods.
• Steve shares an anecdote about meeting Sylvester Stallone and being told to bulk up for The Expendables.

“So he comes back around, she says, what do you think? I said, stick me again.” — Steve Austin, re: blood tests [52:58]

8. Steve’s ‘Day from Hell’ in Beverly Hills

[51:06 – 61:33]

• Steve narrates, in his classic comic fashion, a sequence where giving blood turns into getting his car towed for $483, dealing with public transportation woes, Siri misadventures, and his wife’s reaction.
• This segment encapsulates city frustrations, relationships, and Steve’s resilience.

“When you walk outside of a meeting or a thing like I was at and your car is gone... You call mama, let her know, my wife... so she can pile on and tell me how really stupid I am...” — Steve Austin [56:20]

9. Ted’s Fishing Trip to Louisiana

[61:36 – 77:07]

• Ted gives a blow-by-blow of an 11-hour road trip to Venice, Louisiana, for a tuna fishing excursion with friends.
• Stories about crowded Suburbans, making bait with sabiki rigs, burning 220 gallons of fuel, catching only four keeper fish to split among five guys, and sunburn mishaps (including losing his “Broken Skull” cap).
• Humor abounds as Steve mocks the lack of hat etiquette on the boat and the awkwardness of group fishing trips, sharing vs. not sharing food, and hygiene at group dinners.

“Somewhere out there in the Gulf of Mexico is a broken skull camo hat...” — Ted Fowler [69:25]

“You don’t just, like... if I was to take my hat off and say, here man, put this on and block that sun, you ain’t going to take it because I’ve been sweating in the cocksucker...” — Steve Austin [70:50]

10. Food Sharing Rules & Dining Out Rants

[77:07 – 81:04]

• Steve’s signature rant about refusing to share appetizers or entrees at restaurants, emphasizing personal boundaries around food, humorously referencing a dinner companion ordering “baby carrots.”

“Who in the fuck orders baby carrots for your main course? And his main course gets there and I got a goddamn steak. Kristen’s got a salad—she’s a vegetarian... and the guy’s over, ‘oh, these baby carrots are awesome. Anybody want one?’” — Steve Austin [79:56]

11. Tequila, Fishing, and Group Trips

[81:04 – 84:47]

• Hilarious recollections of after-fishing tequila shots, Steve and Ted’s refusal to drink from shared bottles or questionable brands, and the importance of drink quality as one ages.
• The anticipation of returning to Broken Skull Ranch for more dove hunting and a celebratory IPA (post-diet).

“If it ain’t worth the fuck, why should a drink it? I want to enjoy drinking it. For heaven’s sake, dude.” — Steve Austin [83:56]

12. Ranch Updates & Antlered Old-Timers

[86:56 – 89:18]

• Ted gives an update on deer activity at the ranch, sharing excitement about trail cams and legendary bucks.
• Speculation on whether very old deer truly grow bigger antlers, poking fun at the idea of “deer growth hormone”.

“I ain’t never seen no deer make a comeback unless these motherfuckers on TRT or deer growth hormone.” — Steve Austin [88:14]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Steve on His Weight Loss Mindset:
  “I will not stop, I will not waver, I will not drink any alcohol or anything until I hit the two five zero of which I have not been for quite some time.” — [04:16]
• Ted’s Take on Urban Neighbors:
  “He’s got to assert his...machismo there in front of Mama. And I’m sitting there going, dude, you know, you can hardly get yourself out of a bathtub...” — Ted Fowler [36:16]
• On Old Deer at the Ranch:
  “When our deer get eight and a half years old, those saw bucks just start looking like shit... I ain’t never seen no deer make a comeback unless these motherfuckers on TRT or deer growth hormone.” — Steve Austin [88:14]
• Steve on Food Sharing:
  “I don’t want nobody’s hand in my food, don’t want to stick their fork in my food... If you’d have offered me a piece of that motherfucker before you put your fork in it… but since you done stuck your fork in that motherfucker and stuck in your goddamn piehole, I don’t want nothing to do with it.” — [77:07-77:54]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening, LA Life, Prepping for Trip: [02:06 – 11:20]
• Steve’s Diet & Discipline: [04:00, returns at 41:04]
• LA Rants & City Frustration: [07:30 – 10:50]
• Hunting & Shotgun Struggles: [13:46 – 22:02]
• Pellet Gun Adventure: [22:02 – 34:06]
• Ted vs. The Neighbor: [34:06 – 38:45]
• Weight Loss Stories & Stallone Anecdote: [41:04 – 47:58]
• Steve’s Beverly Hills Car Towing Fiasco: [51:06 – 61:33]
• Louisiana Fishing Trip: [61:36 – 77:07]
• Rant on Food Sharing: [77:07 – 81:04]
• Tequila Misadventures & Wrapping Up: [81:04 – 86:47]
• Ranch, Deer, Aging Bucks: [86:56 – 89:18]

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Episode Tone & Vibe

• Candid, conversational, and full of Texas flavor
• Swings from hilarious gripes to real-life wisdom
• Equal parts rambling storytelling and sharp banter

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In Summary

This episode of The Steve Austin Show is a quintessential “hang-out” session, as Steve and Ted compare city and ranch life, debate the art of weight loss, dissect hunting mishaps, bond over bad tequila and worse dining etiquette, all while maintaining the lovable, crass, and genuine energy fans expect. If you want a dose of hunting humor, small-town grit, and honest life lessons all delivered in Steve’s unmistakable style, this “SAS Classic” delivers it bell-to-bell.

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Follow Steve Austin:

• [@SteveAustinBSR on Twitter/Instagram]

Follow Ted Fowler:

• [@TedFowler361 on Twitter/Instagram]

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Next Episode Preview:
Look forward to more tales from the Broken Skull Ranch, weigh-in results, and Steve’s full breakdown of his journey to 250 lbs!

Transcript

[Steve Austin]

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[Steve Austin]

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[Ted Fowler]

He started in a small town in Texas, worked his ass off to become one of the most famous wrestlers of all time.

[Steve Austin]

We're gonna take care of business tonight and that's the bottom line.

[Ted Fowler]

And now he's dominating the world of on demand audio. And he's doing it for the working man.

[Steve Austin]

This is a damn good outlet for me to spew the off my brain.

[Ted Fowler]

This is the Steve Austin Show. Unleash.

[Steve Austin]

All right everybody. Welcome to Steve Austin Show. I'm coming to you from the mean streets of Los Angeles, California today, sitting here in my office at 316 Gimmick Street. Hey man, I'm looking over at my left at the courtyard and in front of the courtyard is my clock, my pearl bear neon clock. And it says 8:45 in the morning. You're probably thinking, Steve, what in the fuck are you doing cutting open to a podcast at 8:45 in the morning? Well, I got to get this work turned in for Stacy over there. In the 90210 because yours truly and my wife and Hershey and Moola are loading up in the silver RV and we're heading over to Sparks, Nevada today to visit my brother in law. And turns out we got the camper all packed up. I got a meeting over at el Segundo Brewing Company here at about 10am and when I get out of that meeting we're going to throw the rest of our shit in that RV and haul ass to Sparks, Nevada. Now I forgot about the meeting with el Segundo Brewing Company and I was wanting to leave here about 6am that way. That put us there about give or take two 3pm Easy drive. I think it's about 483 miles door to door. Get that driving out early in the morning. But got this meeting. So that's gonna push my departure back to around 12pm so leaving Los Angeles, I'm gonna hit some of that LA traffic for lunch and then finally we'll clear the city limits and it'll be a little bit smooth sailing. But that means we'll be arriving probably just a little bit after dark, maybe around eight or nine. Depends on how many stops we have to make for the dogs to go do their business. But we got all the dog food loaded up. My wife Kristin's in there cooking me some meals. I got a piece of salmon to eat for dinner tonight. I am 100% consistent and doing my due diligence with my dietary stuff. So everything that I put into my system is measured and accounted for. Right Now I'm probably 2.62. The way I have it calculated out, by November 1st I will be 250 and I will not stop, I will not waver, I will not drink any alcohol or anything until I hit the two five zero of which I have not been for quite some time. And the thing that I've noticed this time around on trying to get in shape, the haphazard efforts that I made in previous times that I've tried to drop a few lbs, I was either drinking a glass of wine, glass and a half wine every night, or using a bunch of Splenda or just not being as consistent as I could. I've eliminated every single thing from, from my diet that I've had to to make sure I know 100% what goes into my system every single time I eat. By the end of the day I know what my macros are. Total calories. It's not a big concern about total grams of protein, carbs and fat. Although I can't account for every single one of them. It's about that number and not about doing too much cardio, of which I've been guilty of in the past. When I get to 250, I'm going to do a podcast solely dedicated from my journey from start to finish. All of the mistakes I made and what I finally did to put all the pieces together, which I feel I'm on the way right now. This Saturday is when I weigh in. I'll take my scale with me. I should be in the 261 range, if not a little bit less than that. And I can feel it coming off my drum as we speak. And I'm not starving myself. I'm full every time I eat. I've got my snacks built in there, which are all healthy snacks. I'll drop on you the diet and all that other bullshit once I get to my destination. But this has been an eye opening process because like I said, I dropped all the things that I considered were not conducive to me getting closer to my goal weight of 250. And I'm finally making progress because for you people out there that have been on diets before, or you say, oh man, I'd like to lose a bit of weight, let me cut out bread or let me cut out pasta. And it's just one of those simple things for some people. You know, if you just drop out a couple of food choices or just stop drinking Coca Cola or just stop drinking anything, beer or milk, you'll start losing weight. For me, I have to be extremely strict. I take everything out of the equation that shouldn't be in the equation. So I'm making progress. But enough about that. Back to my trip to Sparks, Nevada. Going to visit my brother in law Mitch. Sparks, Nevada is about 25 miles out of Reno, Nevada. If you don't know where it's at and it's a real pretty area with a lot of mountains. Sierra Nevada mountain stretch runs through there. And just this morning my brother in law works at the transit authority. He keeps all the fleet running head guy overseeing all the technical and mechanical issues of those buses. But also part time. It's almost a full time job for him. He guides hunts, whether it's bighorn sheep, antelope, mule deer, bear, mountain lion, elk, you name it, he guides for it predators. So anyway he was out this morning. He left his house. I don't know what time they left. They're heading up about 150 miles from his house. At about 60 miles out, he's Got the client in the truck with him. And I'll be goddamned if a big ass cow don't walk in front of the highway. And Mitch just t bones the shit out of this cow. And from the picture he sent me of his truck, it looks like a son of bitch's total. It was a Toyota Tacoma, damn good shape. The same Toyota Tacoma that we drove to Sierra Nevada Brewing Company up there in Chico, California about a year and a half, two years ago. So it looks like the truck is total on the side of the road. They was pulling a trailer with the buggy on back of it. His hunting buggy should have been a Kawasaki Mule Pro fxt. And it looks like the vehicle, the trailer is okay, but the truck is totaled. My wife Kristen just called him a while ago, and hell is still waiting on the side of the road for the tow truck to come and get him, put all the shit on the truck and haul it back to Sparks, Nevada. So he was going to hunt today, Wednesday and tomorrow, Thursday. And then hopefully, if they got the bighorn sheep they were looking for, gonna be able to spend Saturday and Sunday with him at his crib and visit and kind of have a little bit of a family reunion. So anyway, he's stuck on the side of the road. He's got a total truck. Get all that shit back to Sparks. We're gonna get a late departure, getting ready to head out there. I'm looking forward to just getting out of Los Angeles, California. I like this town. I live here. Right now we're in a little bit of a heat wave. Fuck. It was 102 degrees in Marina del Rey the other day. I walked outside, I just got finished doing a podcast and I said, what in the fuck is going on out here? Because it's funny right there at the end of Broken Skull Challenge, right there towards the end on about September 15th, 16th, 17th, you could kind of feel that fall's coming. You know, we kind of always get that feeling in the air. At least I do. And you can see the seasons are changing. It's not like, you know, SoCal is like a four season state, but you get a sense that fall is in the air. And then all of a sudden, right when you think, hey man, it's stuck. And then right there when you start to think, hey man, it's going to start cooling off, it zaps you. Because it's the end of September. And come October 20, October 25, it'll smoke us with a couple of high 90 days, maybe dip into 100 and then it'll start turning, but it kind of lulls you into this false sense of, hey, man, there's going to be some badass weather. You know, getting out of the summer, going back to that normal 65 degree stuff, and it just smokes your ass. So I'm just looking forward to getting out of Los Angeles, getting over there to a different place. I was driving the other day, can't remember where I was going. Not one single motherfucker was using their blinkers. And I'm not going on the same old tirade because y' all been hearing me do this shit before. But the drivers out there on the streets of Los Angeles, probably where you live too, are getting worse than ever. Nobody gives a fuck. They're either too lazy, too stupid, or think they're too good to use that motherfucking stalk on the left side of the steering column called a turn signal indicator, a blinker or whatever you want to call just champs my ass. These motherfuckers weave through this traffic and then you got these goddamn motorcycles hauling ass, splitting lanes. It's a real clusterfuck. I'm right in the middle of it. And the fact that I've got a cool place tucked away here in Marina Del Rey is probably my saving grace. I got these big ass bushes that surround my entire house. So it's kind of like it's my own little fucking con here. Spot on the planet Earth that's mine. And even though I'm in Los Angeles, it's halfway private. But if I can put. If I can get my trees to grow up another 30ft, I think that'd be even better. This year, North America will be the

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[Ted Fowler]

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[Ted Fowler]

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[Ted Fowler]

Steve Austin. Steve Austin. Unleash. Unleash.

[Steve Austin]

Yo, God damn it, you're ribbing right now.

[Ted Fowler]

I don't know what my thing is doing. It said. It said voicemail from you.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, I left you a goddamn voicemail because I called and all of a sudden your answer machines. The lady who answered your thing because you wouldn't answer my Skype call with a British accent says, the party you are calling is not available right now. Please leave a message. I left a fucking message. Said, God damn. I said send me a text when you're ready to talk. Now you can't favor me when call. You want to do a goddamn podcast or not?

[Ted Fowler]

That's Lois. Dude, I don't know what the hell is going on with this thing, man.

[Steve Austin]

It's a Thursday show.

[Ted Fowler]

It never rang. God damn it. It never rang.

[Steve Austin]

No, I'm just telling you it's a Thursday show. So, you know, you can, you can, you can use the language you would normally use because normally you would say, I don't know what the I'm doing. You try to say, I don't know what the hell.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, dude, I really don't know what The I'm doing.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, I know. God damn it. I'll be fucking Ted. You ain't gonna believe the goddamn week I've been having. Fuck it. Before I get to my week, I got bad news for you. Well, I mean, it's bad news or it's good news or it's just news. You know, I was planning on coming down the ranch to go bird hunting. I don't know if I'm be able to make it down the ranch go bird hunting right off the bat because of the fact that I got a bunch of meetings scheduled and because Reno, Nevada, where my brother in law lives, is a thousand miles short of distance. Tomorrow, after I get through meeting with the people at El Segundo Brewing Company, we gonna drive to Sparks, Nevada, which is right outside of Reno, Nevada. You've been there to visit Mitch, Kristen's brother. So I don't know if I'm gonna be seeing you. As soon as I thought I was gonna be seeing you. Trying to knock some doves out there.

[Ted Fowler]

You want me to send you an 8 by 10 glossy little headshot?

[Steve Austin]

Send me an 8 by 10 glossy, sign it and God damn it, just send it to my. You know, I've got upset, but I want to come down to Texas. But what I'm trying to do is rig this thing up, go down to Sparks, Nevada for about six days, come back, I got a business meeting, try to tie up a couple of loose ends. And then I'm still trying to get down there before we get down there on the long haul for November, December, January. So I guess you're going to be left your own devices. My dad was trying to get down there last week and you were on your fishing trip. Then he had something come up so he couldn't make it down there and. God damn it, man. I mean, we've been seeing the doves flying out there like crazy. Last time Kristen and I were down, you've been seeing them. I just thought we was going to mop up on them. Now I got a bunch of shit going on, so I got to take 1,000 miles, shorter trip one way. So I got the RV backed up in the goddamn driveway right now. We loading that bitch up. And tomorrow after I get done with my meeting, we're gonna haul ass. Are you heartbroken? You're not gonna fucking hang yourself in a damn closet or anything, are you?

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude, I'll be all right. I mean, I'll still shoot them.

[Steve Austin]

I'll shoot them.

[Ted Fowler]

I won't shoot them all. Before you get There.

[Steve Austin]

Well, that's what usually happens anyway, so that's not really gonna change the course of anything. And the thing about it is. How many rounds of shotgun shells did you buy?

[Ted Fowler]

300.

[Steve Austin]

God damn it. I'm gonna come down here and Throw slutted couple

[Ted Fowler]

200 were for you.

[Steve Austin]

Here's the thing.

[Ted Fowler]

Just saying.

[Steve Austin]

I'm not gonna sit here and blow smoke up my ass. But it is the Steve Austin Show. It's an award winning podcast that never won any award. If I don't blow smoke up my ass, ain't nobody else gonna do it. So you've seen me shoot a rifle. Ted, we've been hanging around out there hunting for nine years. Now. I'm not going to go join the sniper team and pick people off at 1000, 1500 yards, but I'm a pretty goddamn good shot with the rifle. Yes or no?

[Ted Fowler]

Yes, you are.

[Steve Austin]

So I'm a pretty goddamn good shot. Now this is just, you know, bullshit hunting and stuff like that and just shooting the kind of stuff me and Ted shoot. Long range shit and we don't make no shit up we call our distances. But with a shotgun. And the only reason I'm building myself up here is just so I can knock myself right back down. For someone to be so goddamn proficient and pretty damn good with a rifle, I ain't worth a flying fuck with a shotgun. And here's the thing, when you shoot a shotgun, depending on what kind of choke you got at the end of your barrel, just for all practical intrinsic purposes, just say it's a modified or whatever, improved whatever you're shooting a pattern of What? Fuck, Teddy, two and a half foot?

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah, probably two and a half foot. About 25 yards. Yes.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. By the time it gets out there, anybody could argue that if they know chokes better than I do, but nonetheless, I've been dove hunting my whole goddamn life, but I just hadn't been able to do it for a couple of years and shit, man, we'll go out there every once in a blue moon, go try to shoot some skeet, and I ain't worth a God damn it shooting skeet. And those doves come flying over and I'm, you know, I shoot the damn Benelli semi automatic. Boom, boom, boom. And this is when the doves. It's just the beginning of dove season. They're not even flying high and fast yet. They're coming by. They don't even know it's dove season. They come just flapping her wings, flapping her wings. Boom, boom, boom. And they just start flying away. And I'm like, God damn. And so the way we rigged this thing up and Teddy seen me do this because we've got a couple of. We got a couple of tanks over there, ponds that we hunt around, and we got a strategic location. So whenever Ted's got incoming or whatever, I might call a bird for him, or if he can see something that I can't, he'll call a bird for me. And so we're not shooting at each other. So it's kind of a tag team type thing, but it's totally individual. And, you know, fuck Ted seeing me, you know, the bird is just flying over like, shoot me. I dare you to shoot me. And every time Ted shoots, the motherfuckers fall into water on the ground. And Cassie bolts off like his chocolate lab. Cassie bolts over there and picks up the dove and brings it back. And I'm over shaking my head like that motherfucker. Another year watching knock every single dove out of the sky while I'm over here picking up empty shells off the fucking ground. It gets. Just starts to get a little fucking old. And so I'm starting to think it's conspiracy. I'm starting to think that the ones that I'm shooting at must be wearing a bulletproof vest.

[Ted Fowler]

A little kevlar.

[Steve Austin]

Little Kevlar. Some Kevlar. Here's the thing. This is straight up shoot. Before you jump in here, Teddy. If I see a goddamn dove on a tree limb or on a power line, I'm not above crawling on my hands and knees to shoot that cocksucker. I will wait for him to fly. I'll take the cheapest goddamn pot shot I can get. If you're on a power line, if you're on a telephone pole, if you own a tree, your ass is mine. But if you start flying, I'm.

[Ted Fowler]

It's going to be 95 degrees. You'll be sitting out there, one of them ghillie suits, you know, looking like old old Bush, you know, looking like a goddamn sniper.

[Steve Austin]

I'm trying to use all the stealth I can get. Son of a.

[Ted Fowler]

When did you start. When did you start shooting a.308 at Dubs?

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. God damn. I might as well use my rifle. I mean, because if I did, I think I'd have a higher percentage rate.

[Ted Fowler]

Well, dude, you're in luck. With your trip to Reno to go see Mitch, the first part of dove season in the south zone runs until November 13th. You know, so it's right before we start shooting deer so you got plenty of time to get down there and throw some lead in this guy.

[Steve Austin]

Well, I'm gonna try to, but I'll tell you what, speaking of guns, I was scrambling around for my blue Yeti microphone a while ago and I was like, goddamn, where in the fuck could it be? And I'd be damned if I was gonna ask my wife where my blue Yeti microphone was, because you know, I was asking where everything else is and this is gonna just. It'd be like rubbing salt in one of my own wounds, okay? You lose so much shit. You know, I get tired of her saying it's in the so and so, it's into so and so. And every time I go to so and so, that's where the fuck it's at. But after time, Teddy, you know, God damn it, I get tired of my wife being right all the time. So I found the fucking blue yeti by myself, alright? And while I was searching for the blue Yeti, you know, this is one of my great inventions or one of my great ideas I had when I moved to Marina Del Rey or to this house about 10 years ago. You know, my yard, as most yards in LA ain't that big unless you go where the big money is. Where other people in Beverly Hills or Santa Monica got these big ass yards, we just kind of have a regular sized yard. Teddy, you've been over here. This motherfucker ain't that big. So anyway, me being the avid outdoorsman that I am, you know, like if I had my Kawasaki Mule Pro FXT here, oh, I could run it forward 20 yards and back it up and then run it forward 20 yards and then back it up and then for the hell of it, run it forward another 20ft and then back it up. God damn it, Teddy. When I put my target out here against my neighbor's fence and I give him a heads up when I'm shooting my bow, I can't shoot in case a little highway go right over the fence. I'm always thinking he's going to walk around the corner wearing one of those arrow gimmicks, you know, like he shot someone through the head. I'll give him a heads up when I'm shooting my bow and arrow. I can't shoot right now, obviously, because my shoulder is still rehabbing. But I got one pin on my bow, it's set at 20 yards. And if I go back to my other fence instead of standing in driveway, I think I could use a 25 yard pin. But anyway, back to, to the Rifle that I have in my hands right now. When I was looking for my blue yeti because I am the avid outdoorsman, I figured, you know what, there's a lot of rats in Marina del Rey and a lot of possums and shit like that. And so every now and then, you know, I'll be walking around at nighttime and in my backyard over the swimming pool, right over my back fence line, there's a high. There's a high line wire, you know, electricity wire. And you'll see fucking rats go across that thing. Every then you have a possum in the backyard, it might be a possum on a telephone pole. And so I got the big idea. You know what? This would be a good idea. You know, I'm not down there at the Broken Skull ranch, but I could be at the Broken Skull compound on the west coast and still use the Avid outdoors. So I figured to get rid of these critters, I would go get me a pellet gun at the Bass Pro Shops. Well, Teddy, that all sounds fine and dandy. Go get a pellet gun. But when you go to get a pellet gun like Target, they don't sell pellet guns anymore. You see, there's a Target over in Culver City, which is probably seven miles away, but they don't sell no pellet guns. There's a Walmart, but I don't know where the closest Walmart is. There's only probably a Walmart. Like Walmarts are everywhere in Texas, but Walmarts aren't everywhere in California. So the Walmart's too fucking far away. And I don't even know if they sell pellet guns out here because we're in California. So I drove all the way out to Rancho Cucamonga, California. It's about 60 fucking miles. And all I wanted to do was buy a pellet gun. I did a little bit of research. Didn't do a whole lot of research, but I'm just thinking, pellet gun, kill some rats, kill a possum. Are you with me, Ted?

[Ted Fowler]

I'm with you.

[Steve Austin]

Okay, so I get there and goddamn, you go on. The Bass Pro Shops, they got a shitload of pellet guns, BB guns, they got different calibers of pellets. They got the traditional seven, seven. I can't remember the other different caliber pellets they got. I'm sitting there thinking, man, you know, back when I was a kid, you know, you had the little pump up pellet guns. You had one pellet that you'd stick in there Was a single action and you just shoot shit, right?

[Ted Fowler]

Correct. Correct.

[Steve Austin]

Or you might have your tried and true Daisy red rider. I think it was like a lever action, you know, that little something you could shoot. You and you can see the bird. You can see the damn BB just kind of arch through the air. You follow me?

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

So, you know, I'm figuring, okay, I'll just get a pellet gun. I don't want to go crazy, but, you know, I want to get a good pellet gun. So I started looking around and picking up these motherfuckers, and I started thinking, man, this pellet gun ain't gonna kill nothing. So I started graduating towards the fucking bigger, badder pellet guns. And, you know, when you're in bass pro shops, it's not like you can rack that thing back and just fire one in the air and see what it sounds like. So I got this. And this isn't even the most high powered one they got, but I think the one I'm holding in my hands is 1100ft per second, which is smoking for a fucking pellet. Then I get these little metal traps. They're like, you know, you shoot in there and it traps the pellet. They're about. Not long, about 8 or 10 inches deep. You know what I'm saying? So I'm over there, you know, just kind of, you know, sitting in my lawn chair, shooting the pellet in the trap. A 20, 20 yard shot. So, you know, that gets kind of boring. But I'm thinking, you know, every time I cock this thing, listen, okay, I cocked it, but if I wanted to shoot a rat or a possum at nighttime, and it almost sounds like he's shooting a.22 because Teddy, I'm gonna pull the trigger. The barrel is empty. I've already checked it. I've already test fired this thing. If the window breaks, you know that. I didn't test it good enough. Here's what this motherfucker sounds like. You ready?

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Did you hear that?

[Ted Fowler]

Jeez. Oh, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Let me give you one more. You must see my wife is yelling at me. It's too loud.

[Ted Fowler]

Did you hear Tell Kristen there's a rat in the house. You're trying to protect her.

[Steve Austin]

What? Oh, she says I'm scaring moolah. Okay. So you just see, it's hard to be a great outdoorsman, an avid outdoorsman, and live in Los Angeles when you got a damn pellet gun. This thing. And it had to, Ted. This thing has a suppressor on the end of It. So that makes it even louder, right? Here's the thing about this. This thing is 47 inches long, an inch shy of 4 foot. And it's a goddamn pellet gun, for God's sake. You the Sun Bitch is longer than my 7 mag and my.300 win mag at the ranch.

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, you got a scope on that thing?

[Steve Austin]

Yes, I do. It's a three to nine variable.

[Ted Fowler]

They got. Is it got a lighted.

[Steve Austin]

No, it doesn't have a lighted reticle, but it's a 3 to 9 variable scope. Now that's the scope that came with the gun. Who puts a 3 to 9 variable scope on a fucking pellet gun? Well, I got a 3 by 9.

[Ted Fowler]

I got a 3 by 9 fixed on mine with a lighter. I got the lighted crosshairs on there.

[Steve Austin]

Teddy. If I started shooting this thing in a goddamn yard at a damn rat or something like that, first of all, the bullet's so goddamn powerful, it'd rip our heads off or just shred them to pieces. And then the damn BB would ricochet so goddamn far. And if I tried to shoot a possum or a rat crossing on a high line, I mean, there's no telling the kind of damage I could do with this thing had I missed. And then just the pellet just goes screaming into the night. And you hear somebody yell a quarter mile away, you see some guy on Lincoln Boulevard grab his left eye. What the fuck? All of a sudden I got a lawsuit on my hands? Because I'm trying to keep, you know, help out animal patrol over here killing fucking rats and possums. So, man, it just ain't working out over here for me. But that's my pellet gun story. Ted. Hey. Gotta take a minute here to say thank you to the sponsors who let me do this for you free every week, and that includes Dollar Shave Club. Thanks to Dollar Shave Club, you don't need to choose between price and quality to get an amazing and affordable shave. And to prove how great the Dollar Shave Club shave really is, they're giving you your first month free to join the club. Dollar Shave Club delivers amazing razors right to your front door for a third of the price what the greedy razor companies charge. So you save a bundle of money and you no longer have to go to the store to buy razors. Swig of water for no more shopping trips. Dollar Shave Club has a great lineup of blades. I use executive blade. And when you pair that with Dr. Carver's shave butter, you get about the smoothest shave money can buy. With dollarshaveclub.com Unleashed, you can look, smell and shave like a million bucks without paying for it. So give it a try. You'll see the products work and the service is world class. And there's no commitment and no hidden fees. You can cancel whenever you want, just pay shipping and after that it's just a few bucks a month. So get your first month [e-mail] Unleashed. That's dollarshaveclub.com Unleashed. Alright everybody, thank you for supporting all the sponsors of Steve Austin show. I joined Ted Fowler361 back in conversation. Do you even have a pellet gun? Because normally guys our age don't have pellet guns. It's 22s or 17 or you know, 22 Magnum or just something that's, it's a rim fire. But nobody fucks with pellet guns anymore. Everybody back in the day when I was a kid had a pellet gun. There's nothing. They're just not the coolest things to have.

[Ted Fowler]

I actually do have a pellet gun, man, because I got, with those chickens, I got a bunch of rats out there, you know, eating the scratch grain. And then I've got a bunch of red squirrels that are up in the trees that just annoy the shit out of me. Yeah, but I've got a, actually got a pretty nice.22 caliber pellet gun with a suppressor. It's a little quieter than yours.

[Steve Austin]

God damn. I mean, son of a bitch. What brand is like a Crossman? A Beeman? What is it?

[Ted Fowler]

No, it's made by a company called Stoeger. Yeah, this thing was about 350 bucks, man. I mean, for you think, you know, for a pellet gun. God damn, really? Yeah, you know, it's not like I'm sending a kid to college. So what the hell, I may as well buy it.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, dude, how often are you out there popping rats in your yard? Because, dude, you're on a little bit of acreage right there in Rockport. I mean, if you just go out there, bust out there with a lever action 22, ain't nobody gonna say shit.

[Ted Fowler]

Ah, dude, but the problem is, man, we're. I'm in the city of Rockport and I just recently gotten a little Hatfield and McCoy action with my damn neighbor. That idiot. You know, he's out there shooting, shooting at ducks on the water with his, with his pistol, which is, you know, I mean, not only is it illegal to be discharging a firearm in the city of Rockport, dude, You're shooting at ducks with a handgun. You know, use your head, man, because I can see him, he can see me, you know. So you're shooting a pistol on your pond. Come on, dude.

[Steve Austin]

Well, here's the thing, you know, so people that don't know a lot about shooting guns on a pond, if you're shooting that someone is behind the pond, that bullet will ricochet itself, skim off that water and keep going forward.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, that's something that's come off of there. Hotter than a three dollar pistol. And there's no telling where it's going to wind up, you know, hey, you know, hootie hoo, I'm over here, you know. Yeah, so. No, dude, actually, you talk about living the dream often. I will wake up in the middle of the night, grab a spotlight and go out to the chicken coop, see if I can't close out a rat or two. That's. That's how, that's how exciting my life is.

[Steve Austin]

Well, not to delve into your personal life too much, but I want to go back to that neighbor, because when your neighbor has a gun, he's trying to shoot ducks on the pond and he's got a pistol in his hand. How do you quell this situation without escalating it into a. Not a good situation? Like, hey, you motherfucking stupid cocksucker, put the pistol down. The ducks are on the water. I'm over here. I gave you a hooty hoot half an hour ago and you're still trying to shoot the goddamn ducks. What do you do?

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude, I walked to the back of the property and, you know, I was looking at them, they're looking at me, you know, so common sense would, you think would prevail and they'd be, all right, man, let's stop. Well, no, you know, they proceed to rattle off three or four more rounds. So I walk back to the house, get the keys of the Dodge before it started overheating, drove over there to his. To his property, and I got out. Dude, cool, calm. I mean, real calm. And for me, that's. That's something. I get out and I don't. I don't swear, I don't slam my door, nothing. I said, hey, dude, I don't care what you guys do over here, but I mean, honestly, dude, do not shoot, you know, a firearm. You know, we're too close. Everybody can see everybody's house. And the guy, of course, bows up because he's got his wife there. And he's like, well, who the hell Are you? And I'm like, oh, sir, you see that brown house over there? That's who I am, you know, I'm just asking you, dude, just be cool. I don't want to get the cops involved, you know, Just don't shoot. And he's like, we're in the county. I can do whatever the hell I want. And I'm like, oh, boy, here we go. Yeah. So it just. It just unraveled. It just unraveled from there, you know,

[Steve Austin]

Common sense or etiquette that you. If someone's in the background or the. The backdrop or whatever, there's a chance that a damn stray bullet could come flying. Is you that fucking stupid that he don't realize that he's gonna bow up on you because his wife is present?

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, dude, he's that fucking stupid. And he had a couple of cocktails, you know, and he's got to. You know, he. He's got to assert his, you know, shit, his machismo there in front of Mama. And I'm sitting there going, dude, you know, you can. You can hardly get yourself out of a bathtub, you know, and you're going to bow up over something like this? Come on, dude. You know, Real deal. Because he's. He's a couple of years older than me, and I think if push came to shove, you know, you know, but just fucking stupid. I mean, his wife, who apparently, her apple didn't fall far from the tree, she says, well, we weren't aiming towards your house. Well, God damn, honey. I ain't the only house around here, you know. So what do you do?

[Steve Austin]

Well, I'll tell you what you might start doing, Teddy, if it's going to come down to a fight. Way back in the day, there was a movie called Rocky, and he was training for a fight against a guy who was going to fight named Apollo Creed. And so Rocky would get up early in the morning and drink about six raw eggs. And then he'd put on his gray sweatsuit and then go run around Philadelphia to get in shape. And then he'd run up some steps and he'd put his arms up in the air, and there was always a good soundtrack. When he was running on that route, it goes. So, Teddy, dude, I'm just trying to look up your ass. God damn it. Too stupid to reason with you. Said, hey, here's what's up. That brown house over there's mine and ain't shooting towards you. That ain't the point. There's neighbors around this motherfucker. So Stupid. You might have to go into some fucking fight camp. So drink you about six raw eggs tomorrow, hit you about two, three miles, go clock it. And you can't use your dodge because it don't work. Get in one of your vehicles, go clock you off. Two to three miles. Don't go big right off the bat because you got to work your way up to it. Maybe just run down a block and back the first time, for fuck's sake. Do a couple crunches, do some shadow boxing. Watch, let me see, UFC 203, just got over. Watch the next UFC card. Pick up some tips. You know, single leg, double leg, something easy. Just get the fat off his feet, ground and pound. But you got to train for this Teddy. And you can find the soundtrack on itunes for that. Rocky. And also what also works as well, Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. You want me to hum that one for you?

[Ted Fowler]

I told you, Christmas is right around the corner. I told you. The other week I gave up cheese, man. So I'm well on my way to getting in better shape for this guy.

[Steve Austin]

Jesus Christ.

[Ted Fowler]

At first, I didn't think it was real.

[Steve Austin]

I woke up to this blinding light

[Podcast Announcer]

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[Steve Austin]

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[Ted Fowler]

Then I heard a voice.

[Steve Austin]

Come with me if you want to live.

[Ted Fowler]

There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free.

[Steve Austin]

Truth isn't.

[Podcast Announcer]

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[Steve Austin]

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[Steve Austin]

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[Steve Austin]

Man, did you give up anything else?

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude. How's that? How's no caffeine doing you?

[Steve Austin]

Dude, I'm smooth. Smooth sailing. I mean, it just was. And the only reason I quit caffeine was just like I said, because I would drink so much of it, it was like a gut bomb in the morning because of my eczema. So, you know, obviously you think, okay, caffeine, you've been drinking caffeine in a shit pile for all these years. You think there'd be some consequences to pay or you'd be in harm's way or just feel like shit for a couple of days, or you always hear people say, well, no, if you quit caffeine, you get headaches.

[Ted Fowler]

Right, right, right.

[Steve Austin]

You'll start yawning a couple times during the day, but that lasts for about five or six days. And then once you kick out of that, I don't miss all the diet Red Bulls. Everybody's say all the time, I'd be drinking a fucking dyed Red Bull, man, what are you doing? I'm drinking a dyed Red Bull. That shit's bad for you. Well, goddamn. All the shit I did to myself, drink a fifth of whiskey, vodka, every damn night the whole time I was wrestling all the goddamn pain pills, all the bullshit I put my body through, all the party stuff through back in the day, and now drinking a little goddamn drink and a blue and silver can is going to kick my ass. Please, come on, man. So anyway, I stopped doing that shit just because I figured if I was going to give up caffeine, I was going to give it all up. And so that's going fine. And what I'm doing, Teddy, right now, I think I'm sitting at a. When I get on the scale Saturday, Saturday is my weigh day. Because if I weigh every single day, you know, fuck, you've done it before because you've been on diets with me. You get on that diet and all of a sudden you start jumping on a scale every single day. Here's the thing. Water fluctuation. Sometimes you might hit a good weigh in and you weigh yourself the next day, you might be up anywhere from one to three pounds just because you're holding water. And if you've been on a diet for a while, it's a mind fuck because you sit there and think, well, God damn, how did I gain three and a half pounds overnight? Because I got one of those scales that says 260something,.8 or whatever. It does the point. So it's not no regular scale. It's a regular scale, but it's just accurate. So my weigh day is on Saturday. So this Saturday, when I step on the scale, according to the way I've been dropping, I should be 261 point something, because last Saturday I was 263.2. So I'll be a pound and a half to about. Almost two pounds lighter, by the way. Everything's been going. I've got to credit that to being extremely strict and extremely consistent on everything that I've eaten. The elimination of the alcohol at the end of the day is good because if you know anything about nutrition, once you put alcohol in your body, the alcohol has to be eliminated before your body can burn fat because it treats it as a toxin or a poison. So if you're trying to burn fat now, can you lose weight and still drink a couple of beers or some wine at night? Yeah, many people do it. But because I was having such a hard time, I eliminated everything. So I can't say, you know, if I weighed the same for two weeks in a row, I can say, well, you know, I guess I'm doing pretty good because I'm drinking a glass of wine every night or a glass half of wine. So that's not too bad. So I removed that from the equation. So to answer your question, it's all going hunky dory, fine and dandy. Now here's the thing. People say, God damn, what about the broken skull IPA, man? Fuck, what about it? When I get to 250, I'll start drinking the broken skull IPA again as I can within staying the weight, stay within between 250 and 253. So just right now, on my path to getting here, I just lightened up the load. Got everything strict, everything's copacetic. So it's been good. How's your deal with cheese? Any withdrawals?

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude, I'm pretty good there. I'm pretty good. Pretty good. I mean, is that your target weight to get down to 250?

[Steve Austin]

Yeah. Here's a story for you. A couple of years ago, I was in a movie called Expendables. I think I was number 32 on the call sheet. Did have a couple. Couple of lines. And so I had a meeting with Sly, Sylvester Stallone down in Beverly Hills, out of his office. I had never met Sly before. Obviously, I'm a huge Sylvester Stallone fan. Going back to all of his movies. Paradise Alley, Shit, before he did Rocky. And, you know, the guy's had a tremendous run. He's a hard worker, and he's a very smart guy. So anyway, go to his office, and, man, I walk in there and I'm in pretty good shape. I weighed at that meeting. I weighed 243. I'll get to that in a minute. So all of a sudden, I walk around the corner, man, there comes Sly. He's just got on a pair of jeans and, like, just a nice T shirt. And, man, you know, Sly, when he gets ripped up, he's real vascular and looks. He's really cut. And I said, hey, man, nice to meet you finally. He goes, nice to meet you. And I'm looking at his forearms. I said, dude, I said, what are you, about 3 or 4% body fat? For you people that don't know, we're talking bodybuilding language here? I said, man, what are you, 3 or 4%? He goes, oh, I think about 4. He goes, come on in. Let's talk. So anyway, that was my introduction to Sly, and of course, just sitting there shooting a breeze. I got the part. Why did I start telling the story to begin with?

[Ted Fowler]

We're talking about your ideal weight or where you wanted to be down to.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, so. And I had to segue into that story to make my point. But so anyway, he goes, man, he goes, I want you to be in the movie. You got the part. And so, man, I was in Beverly Hills, I get in my Bronco, I drive back to Marina Del Rey, and right when I'm walking in my front gate, my phone rings and it's Sly. He goes, well, what are you weighing right now? I said, I'm weighing 243. He goes, I want you heavier than that. No, no, no. Shit, man. I take that back, Teddy. I weighed 237 that meeting. Dude, I ain't been 237 since before I got into the wrestling business right out of college. That's how light I was, 237 pounds. He goes, I want you a little bit heavier than that. So I put some carbs back in and got to 245. So, dude, by the time I met you, shit, I think probably the lightest I'd ever been would probably 260. So everything kind of spiraled out of control. So 250. Kristen thought I was too light at 237. I didn't mind it. Now that I'm 51, I don't really give a shit to be heavy heavy. So I figured if she thought I was too light at 237, I've been 245 and held that pretty good. I think 250 is a safe round number. And so that's kind of the number I'm shooting for.

[Ted Fowler]

That's cool. That's cool. I did Stallone.

[Steve Austin]

Kristen just walked in. She never wants to be on a podcast. I hijacked her to be on the podcast and she goes, I heard my name. She's got her damn ears like a goddamn eagle. I love eagles. Can hear good as well as they can see. She goes, I heard my name. No. Ted asked me my ideal wake and I said 243. But then I remembered when I saw Sly that one time at the meeting for the expendables, I was 237. And you thought I was too light at that weight?

Yeah, you're skinny.

She thought I was skinny. God damn it. Me, skinny ever?

[Ted Fowler]

You were.

[Steve Austin]

Okay. Anyway, I was skinny at 237, Teddy. So I'm shooting for 250. Kristen, get out of here. I'm trying to make an award winning podcast with Ted Fowler.

[Ted Fowler]

How was Teddy's fishing trip?

[Steve Austin]

I'm gonna ask him about the fishing trip in a minute. I'll give you the details later. Dude, I'm shooting. I'm shooting for 250 because I think it's. I think it's manageable and I think I can walk around that comfortable. Like, you see some of those fighters cut weight to get down them to a wake up, make a class 237. I don't know if I'd have been able to hold 237 for very long. I was on a diet when I met Sly. So I think 250 is livable and it's realistic.

[Ted Fowler]

Right, Right.

[Steve Austin]

Where you at?

[Ted Fowler]

I did on 251 right now.

[Steve Austin]

Heaviest you've been in a while, ain't it?

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, well, dude, I. I got off the rails when I, you know, when I hurt my arm and I. I couldn't lift. You know, the only thing I lift was beer can.

[Steve Austin]

God damn, dude.

[Ted Fowler]

I went up to two. I went up to 256. It was like, son of a. I. I'd back up and I'd hear a beeping going off. It's like. And really? Yeah, no, dude. And then cut out, cut out that cheese and look what happened. No, dude, I cut out, cut out a bunch of alcohol and I'm down to 251 right now.

[Steve Austin]

So what are you trying to get down to, man?

[Ted Fowler]

I would. Real deal. I'd like to be 245.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, you're just six pounds away.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's just my diet right now is for shit because my work schedule, you know, is so hectic. You know, I get up and I'm on the run. I don't, I don't do my eggs like I'm supposed to. Don't do a shake. You know, I'm only eating. Oh, hell, two meals. Two meals. Today I had one about 10 o' clock and I'll have one when we're done, you know, with the podcast and I mean, you know, dude, it's 9 o' clock at night and I've only eaten one time today.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, I got a bottle of Jack Daniels in your freezer calling your name right now.

[Ted Fowler]

Ah, dude, you know, I just don't. I got too much going on, you know, to hit that stuff. And I know on an empty belly, I'll feel, you know, like Fido's ass in the morning. And I got to start a tile floor tomorrow, so I don't want to be crawling around on this lady's floor on my knees, you know? Yeah, going, hey, hold on. Well, don't worry, ma'. Am. It's all part of the process.

[Steve Austin]

Okay, need to give a quick word of thanks to all the sponsors of the Steve Austin show and you guys for supporting all the sponsors. And that of course includes the one that could win you some serious instant cash. DraftKings.com it's one week fantasy football, so that means no season long commitments. You ain't stuck with the same players. You can draft a new lineup every time you play. And if you use my promo code, unleashed, you can play for free with your first deposit. And this weekend, DraftKings is hosting another huge fantasy contest with over $1 million in total prizes up for grabs. And hey, you don't need to come in first, second or third to cash in. The player who finished 800th in the week one fantasy football contest took home 100 bucks. He came in 800th and still want a good chunk of change at DraftKings. You can create a custom league for your family and friends, or you can join one of the existing leagues and go head to head with fantasy players around the country. And you don't gotta be no football expert to play at DraftKings. They got beginner contests, too. So get to DraftKings.com now and choose your players for this weekend's contest. Use my promo code unleashed and play for free with your first deposit. That's Promo Code Unleashed to play for free for your share of over $1,000,000 in total prizes this weekend only at DraftKings.com eligibility restrictions may apply. See website for details. Hey, Teddy, let me ask you a question. The other day, I know you didn't hear the podcast. I was down in Beverly Hills. I was getting some blood work done. Always get my blood checked and also gonna give a pint of blood. And so I go down there and I park at this damn parking meter because I think I'm just gonna be in and out. Right? Right. And I've told this story before, so I'll make a long story short to the people who heard me talk about it on Tuesday. So anyway, you know they got the kind of gimmick parking meters over here to choose a credit card on. Well, the longest you can buy is an hour worth of time. I get in there, they take me right to the back. But I'm sitting there waiting, waiting, waiting, and I'm thinking, man, I need to go put some quarters in that machine or I'm getting my car towed. Well, I didn't see Teddy 30 yards down the road that had a straight and said no parking after 3:00pm so, man, I thought it was going to be in and out. Now I'm in this motherfucker for the long haul. So I can't go put any quarters in the machine. The lady comes to draw my blood or put the bag on it or whatever you call it, and she sticks me in one of the damn veins. And normally I got great veins, but the day before, I was in the doctor's office getting my elbow drained and Elytrash was checking my shoulder. So I had a compression sleeve on my left arm for the. For a solid day. So that compression sleeve kind of squashed in all my veins. So she gets about a con hair's worth of blood out of my left arm and says, okay, let me try your right arm. You know, my right arm doesn't straighten out, Teddy. So she sticks the goddamn needle in my damn arm. And that motherfucker gets about 50, 60 cc's and she goes, well, you know, if it doesn't speed up, maybe, I hate to stick you again, but we might have to. And I'm thinking, yeah, because I ain't got all fucking day. And I know I got a big ass ticket on the windshield of my car. So I'm thinking that I didn't tell her that they were very nice people. And so she comes back around, she says, what do you think? I said, stick me again. So anyway, lady comes over and jacks one in my damn left arm, about 3 inches away from the other one. And now she's got a gusher, got a goddamn just like one of them old offensive film movies. God damn, with the oil shooting out of the ground, the blood's going down that tube, it fills up the pint and damn near lickety split, I'm out of there. But when they take all the needles out of my arms, they wrap both the cruxes of my elbows with pink tape to keep the band aids on. So I'm walking outside, I got camouflage shorts, a T shirt on, my baseball cap and my sunglasses, and I got these pink fucking bandanas around my fucking biceps. I looked like an ultimate warrior. And I walked over there to where my car was parked and it ain't there no more because it got towed away because I was in a no parking zone after 3pm So I find out where the tow yard is and it's about almost a mile away. And so I'm mad, I'm distraught. I was at the place way longer than I had anticipated being there, and I hadn't really had any food. And I'm thinking, no, it's Friday and this is how I'm gonna start my motherfucking weekend off. I might as well walk to the bar and get shit faced. So when you walk outside of a meeting or a thing like I was at and your car is gone, you know, because you have a significant other. I do. You know what's the first thing a married guy would do? They call mama, let her know, my wife, comma, wives. Hey, you ain't gonna believe this. You know, I gotta tell her how dumb I am so she can pile on and tell me how really stupid I am for not paying attention to the fact that, God damn, There's a sign 30 yards away telling you you can't park here. So I called my wife, said, you ain't gonna believe this. Goddamn, I got towed. And she goes, toad, Steve, you didn't see the sign? And right away she starts railing at me, let me do the Bill Burch. I'm like, God damn. I'm thinking, man, I had three fucking needles in my arm. My arms today, Teddy. I mean they're so bruised up because they're putting that little gliding needle in and out, in and out, trying to find that damn vein. And so I got these bruises on my forearms. I've been at the gym for the last three days working out and nobody said nothing to me about it. But I look like a goddamn heroin addict in there banging weights, trying to raise, rehab my shoulder, get my damn swell on with these bruises all over the cruxes of my arms. I look like a fucking moron. So I figured, well, I guess I'll just. And I said, what do you think about coming and getting me? Well, nah, my wife wasn't going to get it in her damn car. Drive from Marina Del Rey to Beverly Hills. Now it's only probably 10 miles as the crow flies, but as LA traffic and it's now getting towards 4:30 quarter 5, Shane will drive down and pick me up. So Teddy, right? When I called Teddy a while ago, he was watching a movie and we're not going to say the name of the movie he's watching. But you know Teddy, when you watch.

[Ted Fowler]

I appreciate that.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah, I got to protect your credibility on the show. You always see in the movies when, when someone wants a damn cab, I say it's New York City or somewhere like that. Let me cover up my microphone, just go, taxi. And all of a sudden magically a taxi just comes screeching up. Well, I'm in Beverly Hills. There's fucking cars going everywhere. It's damn near rush hour traffic and there ain't a goddamn cab or taxi to be found. So now I'm thinking, I get in my damn iPhone, I tell Siri, call Beverly Hills Taxi. She goes, I don't know what you're saying. I said, call Beverly Hills. And Siri won't cooperate with me. So I said, you know what? I put in the address where the towing company was. Tip Top Towing in Beverly Hills. The lady upstairs in the office researched it for me. What?

[Ted Fowler]

Kristen, nobody uses taxis hardly. They use Lyft, Uber and all those other deals.

[Steve Austin]

Nobody uses taxis anymore. They use Lyft, Uber or some other gimmick. Some other gimmick? I'm trying to do a podcast with Ted and you want to stick your head in the sliding door from China and tell me that nobody uses cabs anymore? If you go to lax, there's fucking cabs out the ass. But if you're out there on a goddamn curb at 4:45 in Beverly Hills, there's a bunch of Mercedes and BMW and Range Rovers blowing your goddamn bandanas off your elbows. And I'm about to lose my pint of blood. I've already given a pint of blood, Teddy. I just want to go to the tow yard and get my goddamn car, but I got to walk to the police department, get a release first. And so I'm walking and Siri is giving me the walk directions. You've googled stuff in your iPhone before. Do you ever push the walk directions?

[Ted Fowler]

No. Fuck, I don't.

[Steve Austin]

Well, yeah, that was about one of the first times I've ever done that. Now if you drop me off in the middle of nowhere in the woods, I'll find my way home. But if I'm downtown somewhere or in Beverly Hills or somewhere, I don't know where the fuck I'm going. So fucking Sirius says, okay, go this way, down Doheny Drive, left on Burton Way, right on Rexford or whatever the fucking deal is. I go to the goddamn police department, Teddy, to wrap the damn story up. Just how fucking shitty of a day I had by the time it was all said and done that day cost me $543. Between the towing fee, paying the ticket, getting it released, paying the towing service, everybody had the goddamn hooks in. $483 is what it cost. $483. And my car was there for about a goddamn hour. And at least they could have done was fucking detail it for me.

[Ted Fowler]

How do you like living in the city?

[Steve Austin]

Well, you know.

[Ted Fowler]

Son of a.

[Steve Austin]

Well, 483 bucks. Dude, that's a little stiff. And you know the thing about it was.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, it is.

[Steve Austin]

If it was at the damn. It was that tip top toe for about an hour. And that cost me $208. The Beverly Hills Part 117 they were very nice. And then the guy says right when he brought my car around to me, and I walked there, I walked all the way to Beverly Hills Police Department, walked back to the tow yard, which I had passed on the way to the police department. And I also passed right by the podcast One office on Maple Drive in Beverly Hills. And I called Norm, the guy that owns it, to see if he'd give me a ride, but he was having drinks over in Newport beach by the time it was all said and done. All that damn money and no one had my car for over an hour. And I was just thinking, you know, why didn't I park in underground parking? I've been in LA for 12 years. I should have known fucking better than that. That cost me 600 bucks, Teddy. So this Christmas, I don't know if you're gonna have a stock and stuff or not. Might be an empty box,

[Ted Fowler]

but a thank you card from the Beverly Hills Police Department.

[Steve Austin]

God damn it. Hey, man, I'm dying to know what happened down in Louisiana to judge. Did y' all catch any fish? Was it fun?

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, dude, where to start? Was it fun? Yes, yes, it was fun. Did we catch any fish? You know, we, we, we caught probably 12 fish total, of which four were keeper tunas. You know, amongst five guys, that's not great. But going back to the, to the other podcast, you know, we were going to go down into two vehicles and I was going to ride Weasel and Andy and the other guys were going in theirs. Well, one of the, one of the, the original six dropped out, so we whittled it down to five. So I got a call Monday night. Now remember, we're leaving Tuesday morning, 6am I got a call Monday night saying, hey, dude, one of the guys is sick and he's not going to go, so we're all going to jump in one vehicle. I'm like, oh boy, my greatest fear is coming to light. We're going to put five adults in a Suburban with number of coolers, suitcases, stuff like that. I promptly called Weasel and said, hey, man, what are we going to do about this? He says, no, man, I'm driving. So we averted that. You know, Calamity got down there and, you know, did 11 hour road trip. That's, that's a pretty long haul, you know, but it was, it was cool. I had never been to Louisiana, drove through Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Well, obviously Louisiana, New Orleans. Went down to Venice, saw that stuff that was underwater, you know, with the, with Katrina that rolled through there in, oh, five. So it was a little surreal seeing all of that stuff. Dude, there are no girls down there on that part of the earth. It was tough.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, did you eat any Cajun food? Because, man, Cajun food, Mexican food is my favorite food of all time. And Cajun food slides into second place right there, along with a good steak, man. Crawfish, etouffee, gumbo, jambalaya. Just that when I go to New Orleans or anywhere for that matter in Louisiana, because I've wrestled in all them small towns and been there so many times, I love that state. Did you eat any real Cajun food?

[Ted Fowler]

You know what the first Night there, I had some crawfish etouffee, and that was phenomenal. And then the next night, I had a seafood pasta, you know, which had kind of an angel hair pasta and grilled and fried shrimp with kind of a red creole sauce over it. That was. Man, it was big league. I mean, that stuff. I'm not a big. I love spicy food, but it makes my tummy hurt. Actually, it makes my ass hurt,

[Steve Austin]

you

[Ted Fowler]

know, but that stuff was. That stuff was very good. Very good. Yeah, and it was cool to hear, you know, hear those people talk, you know, just a different. Different accent, different dialect, you know.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, yeah, man, I said just that. That deep kind of French, Cajun. Yeah, yeah, I dig it. Hey, so y' all caught a couple of fish. What were y' all catching? What, first of all, what were using for bait?

[Ted Fowler]

You know what? We went out to a rig after we, you know, shoved off first thing in the morning, went out to one of the oil rigs, and we were using these things called sabiki rigs, which are, you know, little teeny hooks, little teeny lures. And there's about five or six of them on a line, and you drop them down by the legs of those rigs, and you're catching either hardtails or little pogies or, you know, just bait fish that are, you know, anywhere from 3 inches to 6, 7 inches long, you know, I mean, I don't exactly know the species, but you'd drop it down and you jig it a few times and reel it up, and you'd have two or three of them take it over the live well. And the first mate, kid named Luke, who worked his ass off, you know, he'd pull them off, and then you'd go back and fling it out there and do that. And I mean, in. Dude, in 30 minutes, we had 150 bait fish, you know, in the live well. So we were. We were loaded up and ready to go, but it was all live bait.

[Steve Austin]

So, man, y' all went out and caught the bait. Did y' all not want to go by a bait shop and save the time? I mean, because catch. Catching bait fish ain't exactly fun. You're using that because you want to put it on a big hook so you can go catch the fish at hand. So why not just go by the bait shop and then. Yeah, why not go by the bait shop?

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, dude, that's. That's a different kind of fishing down there. I mean, here in Rockport, you go by the bait shop because they get you Know, piggy perch and croaker and, you know, mud minnows and, you know, mullet stuff like that. Because the, the species we're going after is, you know, three foot and less. But in theory, those tunas being, you know, bigger, bigger fish, hell, they'd need a big old, you know, bait well to hold all that live fish. I remember we got 150, you know, bait fish, so that's what, 13 dozen just for our one boat. And I don't think logistically they could pull it off, you know, and it may be part of that, you know, go out and, you know, get into the groove, get warmed up by catching all of these bait fish, you know. Dude, by the time we. We put our first bait into the water, going after the tuna, hell, it's 10 o' clock in the morning and we shoved off at a quarter after six.

[Steve Austin]

God damn, man. You already been on four hours. See, man, like, you know, we used to fish porticon, we'd go by the bait shop. Either had to go out there on the front beach and throw a cast net, catch some bait, put it in the damn bait bucket and get on the damn boat and haul ass. So if you got five guys there and the first mate's doing all the work and helping you guys out, you got the captain running the ship. How many fish did y' all catch? And if you got five motherfuckers, how you split that shit up? Because y' all didn't go hog wild and catch everything in the damn sea.

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude. Of the, of the 12, 12 fish that, that, you know, we caught, eight of them went back because they were, you know, either the wrong species or they were too small. So we caught two yellow fin and two blackfin tuna, you know, so there's. There's four fish and there's five guys, you know, so basically they just filleted them all out and then we just divvied them up, you know, between the group and. And, you know, everybody was happy with the experience. I mean, God damn, dude, we, we went 50 miles offshore in this boat, you know, so if. And you know that that boat was badass, man. I got to send you a picture of it. It was 40 foot long. It was catamaran, dual hull. It had four Mercury 300 horse outboards on the back of it. I mean, that son of a bitch would scream, scream being 40 miles an hour on the water. But if we're going out 50 miles, you know, so you're an hour and 15 minutes one way to hit you Know, one rig move, 20 minutes, try to. Because we're trying to find the fish and we just couldn't find them, you know, so we did, we did, you know, burned up 220 gallons of fuel.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, man, those big ass motors will burn some fuel quick. So at any time you thinking, but between the rigs or whatever, you're going, God damn, what the was I thinking when I said, come out here? Or we're just sitting there like, oh, man, this is great. I'm having a blast. Which one was it?

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, dude, here's the kick in the balls. You know, we're tooling down the road and who do you think loses their ball cap? Like, hey, it's the first time on my. On a boat. I'm a fucking googan ship. So somewhere out there in the Gulf of Mexico is a broken skull camo hat, you know? Yeah. So that cocksucker blows off my head and I'm like, dude, really, really? Like, I came out here to work on my goddamn tan. Like I'm not dark enough now I got no ball cap. You know, I'm, I'm putting on sunblock, you know, with a, with a, you know, mud trowel because it's a fucking. There's not a cloud in the sky. The sun is just beaten down, you know, and I'm trying to get under this guy's t top and the captain is looking at me like, you know, hey, dude. Yeah. I don't know how you guys roll in Texas, but in Louisiana we, We don't like guys to be that close to us. Like, dude, it's, you know, I'm getting a sunburn here, third degree, you know. Yeah, dude. You know, my nose is burnt, my ears is burnt. You know, my big old bottom lip is burnt. It's like, boy, this is beautiful.

[Steve Austin]

Well, God, beautiful. Hey, captain, you ain't got extra ball cap handy, do you, dude? Yeah.

[Ted Fowler]

If I don't want my food to touch, I sure as fuck don't want to put somebody's hat on my head after it's rattled around on their noggin for a while. No telling what, you know, what they got going on up there, but it ain't migrating over to my head.

[Steve Austin]

Well, I feel you on that front because you don't just, like, if you and me are out working somewhere on the Broncosko ranch, and you and me are very good friends, if I'm out there sweating my ass off and I got my baseball cap off on, and you don't. I can see that the sun's in your eyes because you didn't bring your sunglasses. If I was to take my hat off and say, here, man, put this on and block that sun, you ain't going to take it because I've been sweating in the cocksucker and vice versa. If you say, hey, man, I know you got your fucking shades. Put this hat on. I ain't going to wear it because you done been wearing it. So I feel you on that. But I figure if it's a charter service, skipper ought to have a couple of goddamn hats and the goddamn starboard side of the boat because he's a charter.

[Ted Fowler]

The fucking gift shop was 60 miles back away from us.

[Steve Austin]

Yeah.

[Ted Fowler]

No, that cocksucker ain't selling novelties. You know, if you wanted a couple of shot glasses and a little commemorative spoon, he had that. But an extra ball cap, not so much.

[Steve Austin]

Did you know anything extra? I mean, like. Because a lot of times. I mean, I've been smart enough at times, and obviously I'm dumb enough to get my car towed and too stupid to pull over a taxi and spend all day fumble fucking around Beverly Hills. But every now and then I'll bring an extra shirt just because, man, what if water splashes up? This, that or whatever, dude, if I got an extra shirt and I lose my cap or I ain't got a cap because I was too dumb to bring it, I'll put that shirt on and put it around my shoulders and then just flip it back so my head's sticking out. I look like a fucking moron, but I ain't getting all fucking torched. Did you. Did you try to resource any kind of things like that?

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude, that didn't even enter my mind. You know, I carried a travel bag onto the boat, but it had, you know, my iPhone in it because I could see that cocksucker falling overboard. And then we're, you know, here we are, Baffin Bay, once again. You know, sunscreen. Had my. Had my, you know, broken knife with me, some money, you know, my fishing license, my billfold, bullshit like that. But no, I mean, dude, I'm 50 fucking years old. I've been running around a long time and not lost a goddamn ball cap. You know, been on a number of boats. And then the first time I'm out there, I took the goddamn hat off, took my sunglasses off to put on some sunscreen. Gust of wind comes, whoop, there goes the hat. And I'm like, motherfucker. You know, and the current is running so strong, it's, you know, and it's It's. It's out of reach, you know. And did you know me, man? I. I ain't gonna say. I wouldn't say if I had a mouthful, not in front of all the guys, you know. So I just watch that hat slowly go away. It's like, well, nobody said something like,

[Steve Austin]

hey, lost dad lost the hat.

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, that ain't gonna turn that 40 foot, 40 foot boat around for a goddamn ball cap. He's like, dude, that, that son of is trying to get us on some fish, you know. And them guys I'm with, guys I'm with, they're like, yeah, dude, you know, they're. They're bitter because they're old and I got all my hair, you know, so they're like, fuck you.

[Steve Austin]

You know, dude, you should have reached over and tapped a skipper on the back. Skipper. You were driving so fast, my hat flew off. I was wondering if you could do a semi circle, we'd go back and fetch it.

[Ted Fowler]

Captain Stubing, could I borrow that fucking dip net? No, no, dude. You know, that's one of those. That's one of those man moments, you know, where you're like, fuck it, I don't need no goddamn hat. About 42 minutes into that, I was like, good God. Yeah,

[Steve Austin]

but you get your fish, you got damn hat out of the ocean with a goddamn fish net, put it back on wet as a motherfucker. All of a sudden he's got, damn, what the fuck? You take your hat off and there's a bait fish in that. And then you yell at your buddy Weasel. Well, goddamn it, Weasel, don't just stand there and put it in the bait. Well, Goddamn, I'm over trying to get bait. What the y' all doing? See, you got to turn it around,

[Ted Fowler]

dude. You should have gone on that trip with us, man. It's a little more. A little more common sense was just what we needed on that thing.

[Steve Austin]

Dude. Here's the thing, man. I like going out doing shit like that, but I, you know, I do. I do it with you, or I go by myself or like my dad or somebody like that, man. I just, man, I'm just not. Pack up a herd of guys and just go. I like, you know, dude, I just. I'm just way too. I'm way too solo. So, yeah, I just. And plus, well, you know, I could do it, Teddy, if it was in Rockport and I was in Rockport visiting you, but I ain't driving 11 hours with a bunch of guys and two cars just because can't do it.

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, dude. You know, and I mean, it was one of those deals where, you know, the opportunity to go tuna fishing and. Yeah, yeah, I'm cool with that. And it's. You know, we're gonna. We're gonna head out of Venice. Well, fuck, I should have looked at a globe at. At the minimum, you know, let alone a map or something, Find out exactly where Venice was in relationship to Rockport, Texas. You know what I mean? It changed, you know, change my view of things, you know? Oh, dude. But going down there and, you know, and those guys are those. Those guys are those guys, you know? I mean, dude, if you're a loner, you know, it is what it is. I mean, you know, go to dinner and it's like, hey, man, we're gonna get these appetizers and. And, you know, throw the. The Creole sampler on the table. It's like, dude, I've been fishing with you nasty motherfuckers all day. I saw where you had your hands. I saw the shit you guys were doing. You know, you scratching your ass and you're picking your nose and, you know, that type of shit getting between both their motors, standing off the back, taking a piss. You know, it's like, dude, I didn't see any Purell on this. And now we're gonna divvy up, you know, four coconut encrusted shrimp between the five of us, It. Count me out.

[Steve Austin]

And, you know, the one coconut shrimp is gonna be kind of connected to the other one by the tail or something. And so the guy's gonna reach in there with his dick beater and separate the two and be polite and not just eat two of the cocksuckers. Like, well, you just negated one totally good coconut shrimp because you touched the motherfucker. So it's like when I'm in a restaurant and I don't give, dude, I've done it with you. Or if I'm out here in Los Angeles or whatever, when we're there and Krista could be there, our friends, whatever, everybody can order what the fuck they want. Like, I say, hey, man, get some of this, some of this, some of that for the table I want. And then, boom. And then they come over. You know, the server comes over and says, that was for the table. That's for table. That one goes right here. Because I ain't sharing my shit with nobody because don't want nobody's hand in my food, don't want to stick their fork in my food. And I always get this when you're eating with somebody, maybe it's someone that you kind of know, but you don't really know them. But even if you did, it don't matter. It's. Oh, man, this fucking redfish is awesome. You want to try some? And they shove their plate at you because you like. Back in cafeteria days, before I got so anal about my ways, if someone didn't like. It's like a prison movie. You have those square trays with the little dividers. Hey, man, do you want my so and so? And you just back your tray up to theirs and just spoon it all over. But now that I'm 51 and I'm setting my ways, no, man. If you'd have offered me a piece of that motherfucker before you put your fork in it, you know, and I know you're offering me the side that you haven't touched yet, but I don't know the rate of speed with which a germ can run or travel however they get places. I know that fish is only about 4 or 5 inches wide, but since you done stuck your fork in that motherfucker and stuck in your goddamn piehole, I don't want nothing to do with it. So I don't know. But people say, hey, you want some of this? No, I don't. We was out to eat in Santa Monica a couple of months ago. The last time me and Kristen ever went to dinner with anybody. We'll do lunch. We just won't go out to eat dinner anymore. And, guys, the guy ordered for his main course, baby carrots. Who in the fuck orders baby carrots for your main course? And his main course gets there, and I got a goddamn steak. Kristen's got a salad because she's a vegetarian. Maybe she's got a pasta option or something. And a guy's over, oh, these baby carrots. Awesome. Oh, these baby carrots are awesome. Anybody want one? And the other person who was there said, oh, I'll try one. And they're sharing the baby carrots. First of all, who orders the baby carrot? And then you want to start sharing it with everybody. No, I don't want the fucking baby carrots. You don't use your fork to stir the cocksuckers around. And you will offer me one. What is this, an insult? I throw my.

[Ted Fowler]

Who the. Who the. You go to dinner with Roger Rabbit.

[Steve Austin]

God damn it. You met him. I'll tell you who. Want to hang up the Skype? Okay, you don't order no baby. No, dude, I just can't share food and all of a sudden, you know, everybody wants to go out and have a good time. Everybody's having a drink, it's fun. But when it comes time to order for the table, I want my appetizer. Because if I pick up the check or I don't or we chip in, we do it separate. It doesn't matter. I want my food, I want my main course, and I want my appetizer exclusively. I just said, hey, for the table, so everybody else can eat that shit. Because I know I'm not going to eat that shit. Or if I do, I will be the first one to reach in there or fork something, and then I won't touch it again. Strategy.

[Ted Fowler]

Correct? Correct. Correct. Correct. Hey, dude, remember when we had our little team meeting pre trip, and, you know, everybody got together and, you know, we went to lunch and discussed the whole fishing trip, and I hit him with the old, you know, that attempt at humor about, you know, finding some hookers down there in Louisiana, and you. It was nothing but crickets.

[Steve Austin]

Got over like a fart in church, dude.

[Ted Fowler]

We get back after that day of fishing, and I mean, of course, I'm. I am the most sunburnt of them all. Mall. We get all cleaned up and dolled up and getting ready to go out, and one of the guys breaks out some bottle of tequila. Some brand that I had never even heard of. And I'm not a big tequila guy, you know, I mean, I'll drink the margaritas, but as far as shooting tequila, no, not so much. Guys like, hey, man, we'll do some tequila shots. You in for a tequila shot? Now, remember, I'm the youngest guy there, you know, so everybody's looking at me like, this kid, you know, he may very well be the Antichrist, you know, if our wives were here. So they said, you know, hey, big boy, you gonna do some tequila? And I go, fuck yeah, man. Last time I did some tequila, I wound up in jail in Mexico. So I'm good. Let's go. Dude, you could have heard a pin drop. Those guys. Yeah, all the blood drains out of their face. And I'm like, my people, Don't worry, guys. I'm not gonna do anything stupid down here, you know, let's. Let's have our shot of, you know. Yeah, I don't know.

[Steve Austin]

I thought. I thought. Where you're going with that? I thought you're gonna say, okay, you got a bottle tequila, There's a bunch of guys in a room fixing to go out or wherever the you guys at, and all of a Sudden I say, man, you want to shot tequila? And you go, oh, yeah, yeah, man, last time I had tequila, I got thrown in a jail in Mexico. So guy looks at you like you're in a idiot, and so he said, oh, well, it. So he takes a big pull off the tequila bottle and sticks it over towards your face. That means you gotta wrap your lip around that tequila bottle.

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude, I'd have called Uber and got a ride back to Rockport right then.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, you better. You've been around plenty of parties. You know, that's the most. Oh, man, let's pass around a bottle of Jack. Nah, you could pass it around because I'm going to be over here with my bottle of jack, drinking out of it the way I want to. Steve, can I have some of Jack? You got something I can pour it into? Because you ain't going to put it in your fucking mouth.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, God damn.

[Steve Austin]

So did y' all have little tequila shooting glasses or just a solo cup you can pour con air in? Or how'd you shoot the tequila? Because I know you ain't going to taste the tequila and share the bottle with everybody.

[Ted Fowler]

No, dude, they had little plastic shot glasses. This guy came prepared. I mean, he.

[Steve Austin]

That's. At least he was thoughtful enough to buy some bogus ass brand of tequila. Was it? What the fuck?

[Ted Fowler]

It was an offshoot of Don Julio. It was like Don Corleone or Don Knotts or something. I don't know what it was, but it wasn't. It wasn't one of the top shelf brands.

[Steve Austin]

But anyway, tequila nonetheless. At least this is somebody who was smart enough to have some goddamn little cups or something. Did y' all have any lime salt or y' all just drink?

[Ted Fowler]

We had limes. We had limes.

[Steve Austin]

Sometimes, you know, man, I like it smooth ass tequila, but sometimes you like something with a little bite to it as well. But when you get that shit, that just tastes like diesel fuel. And it's like, oh boy, I just wish I had a con hair's worth of salt and a fucking lime to bite into. But. And if you ain't got that, I just can't drink too much of it. It's got to be some decent tequila. I just can't drink dog shit. I'm too old to drink dog shit tequila anymore, Teddy. If it ain't worth the fuck, why should a drink it? I want to enjoy drinking it. For heaven's sake, dude.

[Ted Fowler]

What's that tequila with the yellow label

[Steve Austin]

square bottle, you know, salza or.

[Ted Fowler]

No, no, no, lower than that. Nope, nope, nope. I gotta go to the liquor store tomorrow. I'll send you a picture of it. But I mean it's. Anyway, this, this stuff wasn't. Certainly wasn't patron.

[Steve Austin]

Dude, that guy a couple of years ago sent me that big ass bottle of liquor down at the ranch a couple years ago. And we was drinking that stuff with the pine cone looking glass structure and bond. It was Milagro or something like that. That was some smooth ass shit.

[Ted Fowler]

Oh, dude, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steve Austin]

Damn. We drank the fuck out of that. And then. Well, I can't wait till we get. Let me see. By. According to my diet, in seven weeks I should be at the coveted 250 mark. I'm searching for, let me see, 1, 2, 3, 4. Oh, it's going to be the end of October. It'll be November 1st, I think by the time I get to where I'm going on my weight. And at that point I'm not going to have any alcohol until then. And I'm not going to go hog wild crazy and fuck up all the hard work I put in. But I guess the point I'm trying to make is I'm damn sure ready for one, to bring some Broken Skull IPA to the ranch and two, to have a goddamn stout ass. And this. I mean, if those fucking Broken Skull ranch margaritas ain't stout enough the way I make them, this some bitch is going to be double stout just because I'm ready to have some alcohol in my goddamn system. But I will abstain until I hit the two five zero. So let it be written, so let it be done.

[Ted Fowler]

You got more willpower than I do, man. And the nice thing about that is you'll have 13 days of dove hunting left.

[Steve Austin]

Goddammit. We'll be throwing the goddamn bullets at them and drinking Broken Skull Ranch margaritas. I might get down to 248 just so I can live on tequila for three days.

[Ted Fowler]

I get to go out there and build a palapa in the middle of one of them. One of them pad sites. Be like, dude, really? Palm fronds? Yeah, dude, that's where we shoot doves.

[Steve Austin]

Well, Teddy, here's what's going on. I'm about to hang up, finish packing up my clothes, get ready for meeting tomorrow and blast off to Sparks, Nevada to see Mitch. I'll be checking in with you. When are you going back down to the ranch?

[Ted Fowler]

I'm laying tile this week. It will probably be the middle to the tail end of next week before I can break away. And go down there.

[Steve Austin]

Hey, you see any goddamn deer? Anything with antlers? I know they're still in velvet. They're still growing. Now, I've. Have you seen many deer?

[Ted Fowler]

Dude, I set out a couple of trail cams, so I'm real excited to pull the cards on that. I saw a deer by turnbuckle. That damn thing had brow tines almost up to his G2s. Now, his G2s weren't shit, nor were his G3s, because he was in velvet. But that son of a gun had. Had probably six inch brow tines. Real deal.

[Steve Austin]

That'd be good. I can't believe, man, the dude the other day was down at the ranch doing some work and he saw Don Julio. We're sitting there talking about tequila. We had a buck out there named Don Julio. I was hunting that deer all last year and never saw hide nor hair of him. And all of a sudden, guys out there at the ranch and he sees him, he's still in velvet. He's still. He's on the downside because now I think that deer's eight and a half years old. And if I don't see him this year, as good as you are with wood, you're gonna have to whittle this motherfucker some crutches.

[Ted Fowler]

Well, I'll tell you what, if that son of itch is coming to the protein, I will have a picture of him.

[Steve Austin]

I hope you get a picture of him because I just like to see how he gets. I know someone that has a ranch down there. It's very similar to mine. It's a lot bigger ranch, but they're on the same kind of program. And this guy swears to God, he goes, a deer around eight and a half, nine and a half years old, will start making a comeback and get bigger horns than he had. Than he was six and a half, seven and a half. Because now he's not chasing pussy anymore. He just wants to eat and just do his own thing. So all the nutrition goes to his horns. And I'm thinking, man, I ain't never seen that in all the years I've been hunting. Especially nine years down the broken squirrel ranch. When our deer get eight and a half years old, those saw bucks just start looking like shit. Pot belly, no shoulders, eyes all sagging, limping to the goddamn feeder. I mean, I ain't never seen no deer make a comeback unless these motherfuckers on TRT or deer growth hormone.

[Ted Fowler]

Yeah, dude, neither am I. I mean, that's, that's, that's A totally different mindset than what we're seeing, but it is what it is.

[Steve Austin]

Hey, let me ask you something. Now, speaking about the peds, let's talk about something for the deer, because there was a couple of ball players that was using some of that. It was the stuff you spray on something. You spray it in the back of your mouth. It's off a deer antler. Do you remember reading about that shit a while back?

[Ted Fowler]

No, I did not.

[Steve Austin]

Oh, yeah, man. It's some kind of supplement, and I guess they outlawed it. And I guess you spray it on the back of your mouth, but it is almost like a testosterone kind of thing. I'll do some research and I'll send you the articles on it. I thought you might have heard it. But anyway, fuck that. Let's ride off into the sunset. Teddy, I appreciate you joining me. I've been busy doing all these goddamn things, and I was supposed to be interviewing other people and talking to other people, but I didn't feel like talking to anybody else. I felt like talking to you. So that's why I called you and said, you got anything to talk to about? And Teddy says, man, I ain't got shit. I said, well, I'll just tell you my stories and you can respond accordingly.

[Ted Fowler]

You lead the way. You lead the way.

[Steve Austin]

I'll follow on Twitter, he's Ted Fowler361. On Instagram, he's Ted Fowler361. Teddy, I'll catch you down the road, okay? One last thank you before they give me the go home Q. And this one's Diamond Dallas page. And DDP yoga. Y' all know that DDP yoga has changed thousands of lives, including the lives of some of your favorite pro wrestlers. The one and only Jake the Snake, Big Scott Hall, Mick Foley, AJ Styles, and Y2J, Chris Jericho. And DDP yoga can change your life, too. And believe me when I say Dallas has made it really easy for you to get on the program. His new DDP Yoga now app means you can do DDP yoga anytime, anywhere. And you can do it right from your phone or your tablet. And the app has a lot more in it than just the workouts. By connecting to a Bluetooth heart rate monitor, you can track your calories and heart rate in real time. You can track your pain measurements and progress photos, too, all for free in the app. And like I said, you've got tons of workouts to choose from. The original DDP yoga workouts, the new 2.0 workouts, and weekly live workouts from the DDP Yoga Performance Center. And to make it even easier than he's already made it, for a limited time, you can get the DDP Yoga DVDs for 20% off, plus three months of full access to the DDP Yoga now app. Just go to ddpyoga.com Austin that's ddpyoga.com Austin to take advantage of this great deal. Commit now. Change your life. Now go to ddpyoga.comaustin to get started. All right, everybody, gimme to go home. Q. It's time to wrap up his podcast and ride off into the sunset. When I say right off in the sunset at high noon, I'm heading down to Sparks, Nevada with the family and the silver rv. Everybody's packed up, ready to go, and we are hauling ass. Hey, Tuesday, I gave you guys something to watch. I said, hey, don't miss out on the presidential debate. God damn. Did anybody watch the debate? Two things I'll take away from this debate and I'm not going to get into politics, but I watched the debate because I told you guys to watch it. And I found out that Hillary Clinton can read notes off a podium as good as anyone when it comes time to answer a question. And I also found out that Donald Trump can get asked a question and never, ever answer the question as many times as you try to get him to answer the question. So to make up for the debate that I asked you guys to watch because I don't know how informative it was as far as helping anybody make a decision on who they want to vote for President of the United States of America come November. I got one that I was going through some of my old bookmarks and that I really dig. If you're into blues, give it a shot. If you're not into blues, don't check it out. But it's called. Once You Google in YouTube, type in Albert King and Stevie Ray Vaughan Blues Jam Special. Man, these guys just sitting around playing the guitars and Albert King is talking and Stevie's following along and it's two of the all time great blues legends and I just love both of them. And you can just tell, man, they're just having the best time of their life, laying down some serious jams and just spinning off each other. Two guys having a good time. So I watched that again and man, as a Stevie Ray Vaughan fan, you can also check in Stevie Ray Vaughan Live at El Moco Theater in Canada or the old Montreux Jazz Festival, stuff like that. Or Live from Austin City Limits, the performance from 1983 and I think 1987, but that's my pick. Albert King and Stevie Ray Vaughan blues jam special two blues legends having a great time. Hey man. Prowrestlingtees.com Austin is about to have a bunch of new T shirts, all the ones I wore on this new season of Broken Skull Challenge. You can also find them on Brokenskolranch.com and as far as the best damn IPA in the United States of America. It's called Broken Skull IPA from El Segundo Brewing Company in Cali. You can find it at Whole Foods and Total Wines. If you don't live in Cali, you can find [e-mail] and see if they ship to your state. Also, it'[e-mail] and don't forget everybody needs a pocket knife. The Steve Austin Broken Skull Knife from Cold Steel Knives Anytime anywhere, brother. Cold Steel Knives is available on Amazon.com for 75 bucks. Use my link to Amazon and help out the podcast in the process. 75 bucks for a knife of this caliber is a hellacious deal and I appreciate you guys supporting the sponsor of the Steve Austin Podcast. They're the ones that let me do this for you free twice a week. So big thanks to ddpyoga.com go to ddpyoga.com Austin to get 20% off the DDP yoga program and three months of full access to the DDP Yoga now app. Big thanks to DraftKings go to DraftKings.com and use the promo code Unleash to play for free with your first deposit this weekend. Big thanks to betdsi.com use my promo code Austin25 to get 25 bucks free to try the service. Big thanks to Dollar Shave Club get a month free when you sign up at dollarshaveclub.com Unleashed. I'm fixing to put my Dollar Shave Club razor to work right now. Big thanks to SimpliSafe. Go to simplisafeaustin.com get free shipping on your order and a free keychain remote, which is a $25 value. And of course, big thanks to Amazon. They've been supporting this podcast since day one. Use my Amazon links whenever you're doing any online shopping and Amazon will kick back a couple of bucks to the podcast. Podcast don't cost you nothing extra. Ain't no hidden fees or charges. Buy whatever you plan on buying to help out the podcast and the process. You can find my Amazon links by going to podcast1.com clicking on the Killer Deals button in the top Right corner of the page and then hitting the Steve Austin show button. I got Amazon links for the USA, UK and Canada. So once again, go to podcast1.com, click the killer deals button in the top right corner, then click on the Steve Austin Show. All my great sponsors are there. All my Amazon links are there too. And Amazon will kick back a couple of bucks to the show to pay production cost every time you use one of those links. Don't buy nothing special. No hidden charges. Whatever he's going to buy, Amazon will kick back a small percentage to help us pay our production costs. Bookmark that motherfucker. You can find it easier. Hey, I'm heading to sparks, Nevada at 12pM Y' all keep listening. The 62nd AP news headlines are coming up next. Until then, my name is Steve Austin and I will catch your ass down the road.

[Podcast Announcer]

Download new episodes of Steve Austin Unleashed

[Steve Austin]

every [e-mail] that's podcastone.com.

[Ted Fowler]

At first, I didn't think it was real.

[Steve Austin]

I woke up to this blinding light

[Podcast Announcer]

and I was transported to another place.

[Steve Austin]

Pluto tv.

[Ted Fowler]

Then I heard a voice.

[Steve Austin]

Come with me if you want to live.

[Ted Fowler]

There were thousands of movies and shows and they were all free.

[Steve Austin]

Truth is, it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100 and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream now pay.

Never have you ever thought, ugh, this water is too wet.

[Podcast Announcer]

This beach is too sandy.

[Steve Austin]

Welcome to beach to Sandy Water to Wet, the podcast where we do dramatic readings of the most wild and off the wall reviews on the Internet.

[Podcast Announcer]

We read real reviews about everything from Vegas weddings, matchmaking services and Trader Joe's to caves, toddler beds and spirit Halloween.

[Steve Austin]

You won't believe the things people think absolutely must be said on the Internet. How else would everyone know that some caves don't have WI fi?

[Ted Fowler]

We hear about the good, like the

[Podcast Announcer]

time a couple was happily married in a Vegas Denny's.

[Steve Austin]

And the bad, like who knew people stole from pet cemeteries?

[Podcast Announcer]

And the ugly, because when there's soggy lettuce in the Chuck E. Cheese salad

[Ted Fowler]

bar, it can get pretty ugly.

[Steve Austin]

Join us every Wednesday wherever you listen to your podcasts. I feel targeted by that pet cemetery's comment.

[Ted Fowler]

I know.

[Podcast Announcer]

I was about to say, wasn't that you?

[Steve Austin]

That was me, yeah.