The Thais Gibson Podcast

Episode: Dismissive Avoidant Breadcrumbing: What You Need to Know
Date: December 8, 2025
Host: Thais Gibson

Episode Overview

In this episode, Thais Gibson delves deep into the dynamics of "breadcrumbing"—a situation where one partner gives minimal emotional investment in a romantic relationship—with a focus on dismissive avoidant attachment styles. She unpacks why dismissive avoidants tend to breadcrumb, explores why people stay in these patterns, and offers actionable strategies for breaking free, whether you’re the breadcrumber or the recipient.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What is Breadcrumbing?

• Thais defines breadcrumbing as “leaving little crumbs in the relationship… instead of giving you the full loaf of bread or the full experience of a relationship” (00:31).
• Examples include: not texting back often, limited relationship space, rare meetups, avoiding commitment—behaviors most often seen in dismissive avoidant attachment styles but not exclusive to them.

2. Understanding the Dismissive Avoidant Pattern

• Root Cause:
  • Dismissive avoidants (DAs) were often emotionally neglected in childhood. “Dismissive avoidants only know breadcrumbs, that is love to a dismissible avoidant… they received breadcrumbs from their caregivers” (01:16).
• Pattern Transmission:
  • “Trauma in its own way… is contagious because what often happens is one person gets imprinted with a traumatic event, and then that becomes their subconscious comfort zone” (02:11).
  • DAs repeat their learned patterns, giving out only as much as they themselves received.

3. Breaking the Cycle: For the Dismissive Avoidant

• Self-Awareness:

  • DAs often confuse time alone with actually being present with themselves. “Just because you’re spending time alone doesn’t mean that you’re actually being with yourself” (03:13).
  • True presence involves introspection, emotional check-ins, and awareness of one’s thoughts and feelings.

• Correcting at the Thought Level:

  • “Change happens [when] we start thinking differently… it’s very hard to correct behavior at the behavioral level” (04:23).
  • Address the root thoughts behind behaviors, not just the behaviors themselves.

• Self-Care as Healing:

  • “Dismissive avoidants have to start no longer breadcrumbing themselves… you’re with yourself essentially as a DA and you’re not really with yourself. You’re giving yourself emotional breadcrumbs” (04:57).
  • Strategies include emotional awareness, self-reflection, and nervous system regulation.

4. Breaking the Cycle: For the Recipient of Breadcrumbs

• Subconscious Comfort Zone:

  • If you’re repeatedly receiving breadcrumbs, it’s likely “you also have a bit of a subconscious comfort zone around emotional neglect” (06:01).
  • The solution: “I give to myself in full what I’m not getting outside of me… so that you then just only meet your own needs. The intention… is to recondition your subconscious comfort zone” (06:46).

• Self-Fulfillment & Boundary Setting:

  • Fill your own cup: prioritize personal needs, identify boundaries, and understand what fulfills you.
  • With this new comfort zone, “when somebody comes along that’s trying to give you breadcrumbs… I would go get a loaf of bread somewhere else” (07:38).
  • Reprogram limiting beliefs about worthiness and what love should be.

• Personal Development Tools:

  • Mention of a free personal development course on learning needs and individuating as a pathway to break the pattern.

5. Why People Stay in Breadcrumbing Relationships

• “Why do you keep going for relationships like that… what limiting beliefs do you have about yourself and what you’re worthy of?” (08:55)
• Many remain due to comfort zones rooted in neglect and lack of clear relationship standards or non-negotiables.
• Setting intentional boundaries and upholding standards signals self-worth and opens space for truly fulfilling connections.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Trauma Transmission:

  • “Trauma… is contagious because… one person gets imprinted with a traumatic event, and then that becomes their subconscious comfort zone” (02:11)

• On Self-Presence:

  • “Just because you’re spending time alone doesn’t mean that you’re actually being with yourself” (03:13)

• On Correcting Behavior:

  • “It’s very hard to correct behavior at the behavioral level… correcting things at the thought level is where change happens” (04:23)

• On Breaking the Cycle:

  • “You’re with yourself essentially as a DA and you’re not really with yourself. You’re giving yourself emotional breadcrumbs” (04:57)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:31 — What is breadcrumbing? Basic definition and examples
• 01:16 — Why dismissive avoidants breadcrumb: Childhood patterns
• 02:11 — Trauma transmission as a subconscious comfort zone
• 03:13 — The difference between spending time alone and being present
• 04:23 — Real change happens at the thought, not just behavioral level
• 04:57 — DAs must stop giving themselves only emotional breadcrumbs
• 05:29 — Self-care, nervous system regulation, and reparenting oneself
• 06:46 — Recipients: Recondition subconscious comfort zone, self-fulfillment
• 07:38 — Recognizing self-worth and boundaries in the face of breadcrumbs
• 08:55 — Examining limiting beliefs, setting non-negotiables, intentional dating

Action Steps & Takeaways

• For Dismissive Avoidants:

  • Engage in regular self-check-ins and emotional awareness.
  • Practice self-care and regulate your nervous system.
  • Challenge your inner narrative and correct thoughts that maintain old patterns.

• For Recipients of Breadcrumbs:

  • Focus on fulfilling your own needs first to rewire your comfort zone.
  • Reprogram limiting beliefs about love and self-worth.
  • Set and maintain clear boundaries; wait for relationships that offer the “whole loaf.”

Maintaining Thais Gibson’s kind, direct tone, this episode encourages listeners to look inside, challenge their comfort zones around neglect, and elevate their standards to break free from the cycle of breadcrumbing—once and for all.