Podcast Summary: "Ghosted By An Avoidant – How to Turn The Tables"

Host: Thais Gibson
Date: March 21, 2026
Show: The Thais Gibson Podcast

Episode Overview

In this episode, Thais Gibson dives deep into the phenomenon of being "ghosted"—especially by someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style. She explores the psychology behind avoidant behaviors in relationships, explains why ghosting occurs, and empowers listeners with strategies to break free from these painful cycles by focusing on personal healing and subconscious reprogramming.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Reality of Ghosting and Attachment Styles

• Prevalence: Ghosting is a widespread phenomenon—75% of people report having been ghosted at least once (00:58).
• Attachment Styles: Focuses on the dismissive avoidant, one of four main attachment types.
• Early Roots: Dismissive avoidants often grow up with caretakers who dismiss, ignore, or shame their emotional needs, leading to a learned self-reliance and fear of vulnerability (02:10).

Why Do Dismissive Avoidants Ghost?

• Two Key Pull-Away Periods:
  • 4–6 Months In: When feelings deepen and commitment looms, a dismissive avoidant may suddenly withdraw (03:10).
  • 1.5–2 Years In: The end of the “honeymoon phase” brings heightened avoidance during the power struggle stage (04:00).
  • Quote:
    "Nobody pulls away as strongly as avoidant attachment styles in this stage of a relationship... It trounces the four to six month mark pull away period. It's so, so much stronger." – Thais Gibson (04:12)
• The Three Major Reasons for Ghosting:
  1. Fear of Vulnerability: Avoidants find deep emotional intimacy frightening and overwhelming; they retreat "like a turtle going into their shell" (05:30).
  2. Feeling Trapped: A strong fear of being trapped in the wrong relationship pushes them away (06:05).
  3. Inability to Communicate Needs: Lacking skills for vulnerable conversation, avoidants often don't say what they need, instead disappearing to avoid conflict or shame (06:30).
  • Quote:
    "For dismissive avoidants, they don’t know how to have hard conversations and they don’t like conflict. But what they don’t realize is leaving things on this note of uncertainty is excruciating for the vast majority of other people." – Thais Gibson (07:21)

What Does It Mean About You If You Keep Getting Ghosted?

• It’s Not Your Fault: Being ghosted is rarely about your worth or something you did wrong.
• Pattern Recognition: If ghosting is a repeated theme, it may mean you’re subconsciously attracted to emotionally unavailable partners because it feels “familiar” based on past experiences (09:15).
  • "Your subconscious mind is literally making your choices... we choose at a subconscious level what feels familiar because we equate it to safety and thus survival." – Thais Gibson (10:12)
• Mirror Effect: People who chase emotionally unavailable partners often neglect their own needs, boundaries, or self-advocacy; ghosters reflect this internal dynamic (11:00).

How to Turn the Tables – Break the Ghosting Cycle

• Stop Chasing Closure: Acting out of desperation for validation after being ghosted perpetuates painful cycles (12:00).
• Inner Work is Key:
  • Identify your own needs and start meeting them yourself.
  • Practice self-validation instead of self-criticism.
  • Make yourself a priority; “date yourself,” introspect about your identity, values, and desires (12:47).
  • "If you want to feel like you're a priority, learn to prioritize spending time with you, getting to know yourself, date yourself." – Thais Gibson (13:35)
• Rewiring Through Repetition: Changing behavioral and emotional patterns through self-love and consistent practice helps attract healthier relationships over time (14:05).

Healing Attachment Patterns for Lasting Change

• Free Resource: Thais mentions a complimentary course on discovering and embracing your relationship needs, foundational for healing attachment wounds (08:40).
• Ultimate Empowerment:
  • "Being ghosted does not define your love life or your worthiness as a person. How you respond to these situations and how you choose instead to show up for yourself is ultimately what turns the tables." – Thais Gibson (15:20)
  • The real “revenge” or empowerment is deep self-love and refusing to tolerate emotional breadcrumbs ever again.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Why Avoidants Ghost:
  "A dismissive avoidant isn't aware their vulnerability scares the living daylights out of them… they shut down and pull away completely as a way of protecting themselves." (05:32)
• On Subconscious Patterns:
  "Your subconscious mind is running your show… and you keep choosing from that." (10:18)
• How to Heal:
  "Your way out of this pattern and theme is… to learn to heal the way that you treat yourself in your own internal world first." (12:20)
• Empowerment:
  "My best revenge on this person is going to be how to learn to love myself, how to make sure that I'm never in situations where this happens to me again." (16:28)

Important Timestamps

• 00:10: Introduction to ghosting and avoidant attachment.
• 02:10: How childhood experiences shape dismissive avoidant attachment.
• 04:00: The two big “pull-away” periods in avoidant relationships.
• 06:30: Three primary reasons avoidants ghost.
• 08:40: Free resource offered for healing relationship needs.
• 12:00: Common reactions to being ghosted and how to break the pattern.
• 13:35: Self-love and prioritizing yourself as keys to transformation.
• 15:20: Reframing ghosting as an opportunity for empowered inner change.

Final Thoughts

Thais Gibson’s episode offers a compassionate, psychological lens through which to view ghosting—not as a fault in oneself, but as a window into the avoidant’s struggles with vulnerability. The path to breaking this pattern lies not in chasing those who disappear, but in deep individual healing and learning to meet your own needs. By focusing inward, you can “turn the tables” for good and build truly reciprocal, loving relationships in the future.