The Thais Gibson Podcast

Episode: How to Process Grief from A Loss of A Pet or Loved One (Personal Share)

Date: February 7, 2026
Host: Thais Gibson

Episode Overview

In this deeply personal episode, Thais Gibson shares her firsthand experience of grieving the recent loss of her beloved dog, Simba. Drawing from her professional background in post-traumatic growth and neuroscience, as well as years of supporting others through grief, Thais offers vulnerable insight into what it's like to process loss in real time. She outlines five key pillars for moving through grief—applicable for the loss of a pet, loved one, or significant relationship—with relatable anecdotes, research-backed strategies, and tangible exercises. This episode serves as a compassionate, "human masterclass" intended to guide listeners through the messy, nonlinear, and intensely emotional landscape of grief.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Grief is a Deeply Human Experience

[00:00 – 05:45]

• Thais begins by acknowledging a personal loss—she is only seven days into grieving Simba.
• She stresses the raw, unstructured nature of her share, making a point to speak from emotion and experience, not just clinical expertise.
• Grief isn't only sadness; it can be “anger, guilt, anxiety, shame, numbness, and longing.”

  “Grief is love with nowhere to go.” – Thais Gibson [10:01]

Memorable Quote:

"Honestly, like, I find when somebody's really grieving, it's very hard to even hear things that are very formal. And I don't want this to be some sort of formal thing. I want this to be like a human thing." – Thais Gibson [04:22]

2. A Personal Backstory: Simba’s Illness

[05:45 – 18:00]

• Simba was with Thais for over 15 years, throughout major life changes.
• Three years prior, Simba was diagnosed with brain cancer after cluster seizures.
• The family undertook extensive treatments—medical, dietary, holistic—prolonging his life much longer than predicted.
• Adaptations included sleeping on the floor for safety and avoiding travel by plane.
• Thais draws a distinction between sudden and drawn-out grief, highlighting that both have unique challenges.

Notable Moment:

“For, like, two years and eight months, wherever we traveled with him … we would take the mattress off the hotel bed and squish it into the corner … We just really, really loved our dog and, you know, treated him like a kid.” – Thais Gibson [10:58]

3. Redefining the Nature of Grief

[18:00 – 22:30]

• Grief is not about the absence of a physical body, but the loss of non-physical things:
  • The needs that person or animal met.
  • The identity we expressed in relationship to them.
  • The attachment to how they made us feel.
• Grief manifests in thoughts, bodily sensations, and behaviors.
• Thais emphasizes that “time doesn’t heal wounds; it’s what we do in that time that matters.”

4. The Five Pillars of Processing Grief

Pillar 1: Practice Self-Attunement (Somatic Processing)

[22:30 – 30:25]

• Description: Allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions. Sit with the pain rather than repress or avoid it.
• Thais’ Experience: She and her husband processed Simba's loss by looking at photos, reliving memories, and letting themselves cry—finding catharsis in honest feeling.
• Tip: Treat your grieving self as you would a wounded child—with comfort and presence.

Key Insight:

“The more present we are with our emotions, the more they're able to somatically pass through.” – Thais Gibson [27:08]

Pillar 2: Air and Question Your Stories

[30:25 – 39:30]

• Description: Identify and write down the underlying narratives fueling your pain (e.g., “It’s my fault,” “I’ll never feel love like this again”).
• Process: Challenge these stories with questions—Is there another truth? Am I the only one at fault? Can I know this absolutely?
• Personal Note: Thais found relief in recognizing that Simba lives on in her heart, memories, and personal growth.
• Advice: Unquestioned guilt can prolong grief indefinitely; write your narratives on paper, not in your mind.

Quote:

“Until you actually put [your painful stories] on paper and start to move through them, they will prolong your grief forever.” – Thais Gibson [34:31]

Pillar 3: Identify and Refill Lost Needs

[39:30 – 48:15]

• Description: Understand that part of grief is losing how someone met your needs (joy, affection, humor, etc.).
• Strategy: Make a list of needs previously filled by the lost person/pet. Slowly create small rituals or habits that meet these needs in new ways.
• Example: Thais and her husband honor Simba by sharing memories, cuddling more, watching funny shows.
• Reminder: Grieving is about adapting to get needs met in new forms, not through strict schedules but gentle, meaningful rituals.

Quote:

“Time heals all wounds? Time actually doesn’t heal wounds … It’s what we do in that time that matters.” – Thais Gibson [44:07]

Pillar 4: Reclaim and Express Lost Aspects of Self

[48:15 – 55:22]

• Description: Grieving also involves mourning the part of ourselves expressed in the relationship (e.g., being a nurturer, protector, caregiver).
• Encouragement: Find new ways to express those parts of yourself—be deliberately loving or nurturing to others, volunteer, or create in their honor.
• Example: Thais describes becoming more expressive and loving with friends and family to keep sacred aspects of herself alive beyond Simba’s passing.
• Broader Impact: Clients who channeled this into meaningful causes (e.g., charities) found profound healing.

Quote:

“When you love, you experience love. You experience feeling love in your body for someone else … That is something we are grieving.” – Thais Gibson [50:15]

Pillar 5: Establish a Healthy Relationship to Memory (Connection Without Rumination)

[55:22 – 1:02:55]

• Description: Balance honoring memories with living in the present—avoid being stuck in past rumination or fantasy.
• Technique: Create intentional rituals—write down memories, gather photos/videos, and designate a space or time to revisit them without letting it become obsessive.
• Literary Reference: Cites A Course in Miracles on not letting the past overshadow seeing the present.
• Personal Practice: Thais recorded all the unique quirks she’d miss about Simba, giving her comfort and certainty she wouldn’t forget.

Quote:

"Unless the past is over in my mind, the real world in front of me escapes my sight, for I am looking nowhere, seeing what is not there." – A Course in Miracles, shared by Thais Gibson [56:05]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Grief is love with nowhere to go.” [10:01]
• “Time doesn’t heal wounds; it’s what we do in that time that matters.” [44:07]
• “Treat your grieving self as you would a wounded child—with comfort and presence.” [27:18]
• “You can literally grieve for a lifetime by carrying stories like that.” [34:31]
• “We don’t ever actually lose or gain things. They’re just forever changing forms.” [54:30]
• “I have this space where I’m not going to forget these things … There’s a sense of certainty, which is a really big need after grief for a lot of people.” [1:01:47]

Key Takeaways and Applications

• Grieve actively and intentionally—don’t just wait for “time” to heal you.
• Feel your feelings in real time; don't repress or rush.
• Write down and challenge stories of guilt, regret, or self-blame.
• Recognize the needs and parts of self you miss, and gently refill those voids.
• Create healthy rituals to honor memories—don’t get trapped in the past at the expense of present life.
• Use the five pillars as a map—move between them as needed, not in strict linear fashion.

Conclusion & Final Reflection

[1:02:55 – End]
Thais closes with self-compassion and a reminder that everyone’s grief is unique—drawn out or sudden, human or pet, everyone’s journey is different. While she can speak only from her experience, she hopes these insights and pillars serve as compassionate support for anyone facing loss.

“My only hope for you is that you can take all of this information and you can map it out for yourself and that you can have that gentle, supportive check in for each of those pillars…” – Thais Gibson [1:03:56]

Useful Segment Timestamps

• [00:00] – Thais introduces the topic and shares her fresh grief
• [05:45] – Simba’s backstory and illness
• [18:00] – Defining grief and what we actually lose
• [22:30] – Five pillars of processing grief (begins)
• [27:18] – Self-attunement and emotional presence
• [34:31] – The importance of questioning painful narratives
• [44:07] – Refilling the void left by unmet needs
• [50:15] – Mourning lost aspects of self
• [56:05] – Establishing healthy rituals with memory
• [1:03:56] – Conclusion & words of support

This episode is a heartfelt, resource-rich guide to grieving with intention and supported self-awareness, grounded in both psychological wisdom and lived experience.