The Thais Gibson Podcast

Episode: My Daughter Won’t Talk to Me | A Dad’s Guide to Reconnecting
Host: Thais Gibson
Date: January 31, 2026

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and insightful episode, Thais Gibson offers a compassionate, step-by-step guide for fathers seeking to reconnect with estranged daughters—drawing from her own personal experience of family estrangement and professional expertise in relationship healing. The episode blends Thais’s moving family narrative with practical tools, empathy, and actionable strategies for rebuilding trust and emotional closeness, even after long-standing disconnection.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Thais’s Personal Story of Estrangement and Reconciliation

• Early family dynamics: Thais opens by sharing her upbringing in a household marked by a passionate, intense relationship between her parents and a challenging divorce filled with confusion and miscommunication.
• Estrangement from her father: As a teenager, Thais internalized family pain and cut off contact with her dad for nearly six years, influenced by partial information, family patterns of emotional cutoff, and her own coping mechanisms.

  “I didn't speak to my father at all for years of my life. I blamed my father for a lot of things because of a lot of lack of information in some cases.” (00:17)

• Turnaround moment: At 21, during a personal-growth course, Thais was prompted to re-examine her story and confront her feelings of betrayal. She realized how, despite the rejection, her father had consistently reached out, demonstrating unwavering care.

  “No matter what, he would text me once, sometimes twice a week, and he would repeatedly try to call throughout those years as well, and I wouldn’t answer…” (08:30)

• Profound empathy and forgiveness: Thais’s ‘Starbucks moment’ (09:45–12:30)—putting herself in her father’s shoes—was a deeply cathartic emotional breakthrough leading to genuine forgiveness, renewed connection, and a healthier approach to all her relationships.

  “Actually putting myself in his shoes and seeing the heartbreak he would have had to endure… all these years of resentment and anger... just washed away.” (11:45)

• Broad takeaway: Whatever we don’t forgive in our parents, Thais argues, we often bring into adult relationships (13:40).

Five Powerful Steps for Dads to Reconnect with Their Daughters

1. Get Out of Learned Helplessness

• Key concept: Fathers often freeze after repeated rejection, wrongly concluding their child doesn’t care or doesn’t want contact.

  “Your child cares so much and your child wants to hear from you, but because they're your child, they expect you to lead the way.” (17:40)

• Practical tip: Consistent small gestures (such as a weekly text or sharing a positive memory) matter more than grand gestures. These signals of stability and care are the foundation of rebuilding trust.

  “Small, consistent gestures over time show stability, consistency, which… are foundational building blocks of trust.” (20:10)

2. Don’t Rush into Explaining or Justifying Yourself

• Common mistake: Parents sometimes use early interactions to prove themselves, defend their side of the story, or seek validation.

  “If I can just explain it to them, if I can just tell them why it’s not my fault… then they’ll finally understand me and I won’t lose them again.” (23:30)

• Better approach: Prioritize curiosity about your daughter—ask questions about her life, be present, and rebuild emotional safety. Let showing trump telling.

  “Start by getting to know them again. Start by asking them questions, being curious about who they are.” (27:30)

3. Connect to Your Child’s Needs

• Bonding tip: Pay attention to what lights up your daughter—her passions, what she talks about, what she brings to her daily life.

  “A huge part of the way we bond… is we try to notice what their needs are. Their needs are going to be the things that they naturally talk about the most…” (31:05)

• Actionable advice: Engage on her topics of interest, support her passions even if they’re different from your own.

4. Process Your Own Emotions First

• Self-care reminder: Address your own feelings of grief, abandonment, or hurt outside of interactions with your daughter.

  “If you have not processed your abandonment, your hurt, your frustration…the fears can lead to you clinging too much or becoming controlling… or shutting down.” (34:56)

• Impact: Unprocessed emotions can inadvertently push your daughter further away.

5. Validate Her Feelings and Needs

• Crucial skill: When your daughter shares pain or frustration, focus on validating her experience rather than fixing it or defending yourself.

  “I see that you feel a little bit hurt right now. This is hard, but I really care, and what can I do to try to make it better?” (37:20)

• Language tips: Ask open questions (“What can I do to support you?”), express willingness to weather difficulties together, and model humanity and humility.

  “People who thrive in human relationships… know how to ask the right questions.” (38:15)

Additional Supportive Steps and Wisdom

Share Yourself in Small Doses

• Gradual sharing: Offer small updates about your own life, but avoid making the relationship all about you, especially early on.

  “Share yourself slowly over time…so that she can see and come to know who you are.” (42:15)

Accountability and Apology

• When the time is right: If you made mistakes, be willing to own them and apologize face-to-face after reestablishing some trust.

  “If you do feel like there were mistakes that you made as a parent, that you were able to honor those, that you were able to own them to be accountable. I mean, accountability is one of the most foundational building blocks of trust.” (44:05)

The Universality of Reconnection

• Thais's core belief:

  “No matter how long you’ve gone without talking, you can really have a deeply connected, close relationship with somebody, even if you’re starting from miles apart.” (45:48)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the impact of consistent effort:

  “Stability and consistency are foundational building blocks of trust.” (20:22)

• On empathy and healing:

  “When I think of this, it's not sad, it's like cathartic. It was something that so deeply, like, changed and softened my heart.” (12:00)

• On the parent’s leadership role:

  “Your child expects you to lead the way… to know that it's safe for them to connect with you.” (17:50)

• On mistakes and accountability:

  “If you made a mistake as a parent, that's okay. You're a human being and you're going to make mistakes. Everybody does and everybody will. But it's how we address those mistakes.” (44:19)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–03:00 – Thais shares her family background and early estrangement
• 08:30–13:40 – Transformational empathy moment, ‘Starbucks story,’ and lessons on forgiveness
• 17:40 – Step 1: Overcoming learned helplessness
• 23:30–27:30 – Step 2: Common reconnection mistakes and focusing on your child’s world
• 31:05 – Step 3: Tuning into your daughter’s needs
• 34:56 – Step 4: Processing your own pain
• 37:20–38:15 – Step 5: Emotional validation and connection-building phrases
• 42:15 – Bonus step: Gradual sharing of your life story
• 44:05–45:48 – When and how to apologize and be accountable
• 47:00 – Closing encouragement and core belief in reconnection

Episode Tone and Language

Warm, honest, and deeply empathetic, Thais combines professional insight with vulnerability and authenticity. She frequently addresses the listener in the second person, offers reassurance, and emphasizes that transformation and healing are possible—no matter the history or current distance.

Summary

Thais Gibson’s episode is a powerful resource for fathers (and parents in general) seeking to heal estranged relationships with their daughters. Through her own story, Thais illustrates the profound effects of consistent effort, empathy, accountability, and patience. The five-step guide is practical, sensitive, and rooted in lived experience and professional wisdom. Key tools include escaping learned helplessness, focusing on your child’s needs, handling your own emotions, validating your daughter’s feelings, and gradually rebuilding trust—reminding listeners that love, vulnerability, and accountability can truly bridge even deeply entrenched divides.