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What does it actually look like when a dismissive avoidant falls in love? Well, the signs are real, but they are also subtle and at times difficult to pick up on by most people. And this is because dismissive avoidance express love differently than the typical things that you'd see in movies or that your nervous system and your own subconscious conditioning from the past may expect. So in today's video, we are going to break down five major signs. And avoidant is truly falling for you. And what this actually looks like, I think the fifth one is probably the most shocking of all. But sign number one is they start to include you more and more in their life. So one thing you'll see is that before dismissive avoidance have this deep sense of certainty about somebody they're dating or in a relationship with. They'll often sort of keep them a little bit separate. They may not introduce you to their friends, you may not know their family members, they may not really include you in their daily life routines. But as they start to fall and, and actually develop a deep sense of certainty, they will slowly but surely bring you around more people, connect you with other people. And this is because when a dismissive avoidant feels truly certain about somebody, they literally want to bring them in. They want to bring them closer to themselves. They want them to be a staple in their lives. And they actually develop a sense of safety and security and comfort in knowing that there's more certainty around the long term of a connection. And so it's a really big sign to look out for, especially when they're really falling in love. Okay. And again, if somebody's a little slower to do this, it doesn't mean they don't necessarily care about you. It just means that they take a long time to really feel certainty around a relationship. Number two, when a dismissive avoidant really starts to fall in love, you will see them begin to open up. Now, of course, this opening up will be more slow and it will be more specific. In fact, dismissive avoidants usually have a way of opening up where they're essentially testing if you're safe to open up around OR two. And you can almost imagine this is like they're trying to throw out to you like a sort of test to see if this goes well, then I'll maybe open up more. So usually you'll see they're sort of opening up very strategically at the beginning. They may open up about one small thing to really see how you respond. And it could be a really small thing objectively from the outside, but vulnerability and Opening is a really big thing to them internally, even if objectively the thing they're opening up about is a little bit smaller. So, for example, they might tell you an embarrassing story that happened back in high school, or they might tell you about something they did that they regret from a few years ago. You know, they might just say one thing or one story, but they really are testing. A lot of times they're not consciously aware that they're testing. It's not like premeditated, but they're often subconsciously testing to see, do you still accept me? Did that go well? Can I trust you not to judge me? Are you going to criticize me? And they're sort of looking for these things and scanning for red flags. So once you see them really opening up more and more across time and more consistently, it means that they actually feel the sense of acceptance, safety, comfort. And it's such a big piece that is almost like this step before they truly fall in love. So if you're really seeing a lot more openness, a lot more transparency, it's a huge sign that even though they may not be pouring their heart out, they're really getting a lot closer and their heart feels really connected to yours. Number three, they make real tangible long term plans for you or with you. So they'll try to say, okay, next year we should go on vacation here, or at Christmas, at the holidays we should abc and they'll actually make long term plans. This is something that's usually not natural, not easy for a dismissive avoidant, but subtle things like discussing future plans, trips, future goals, even that they have in a relationship. These are massive markers of emotional investment, especially as a dismissive avoidant. Number four, they actually try to listen to your needs, understand them and execute on them. Okay, so dismissive avoidance. They are really good when you express yourself, literally when you express yourself really directly and with kindness in regards to what you need. Oftentimes you may be left feeling like, did that conversation go well? Did they really understand me? I'm not sure because they may not say the best things in the moment. But dismissive avoidance are really good when they're invested. They are so good when you communicate to them openly, literally, directly. They're so good at actually taking a step back and then going the next day or the next week and doing those things. And those are huge markers of investment. It shows that they really care and they're actually trying to think about what you said, think about how they can adopt this as a habit into their life and be really logical about it so that they can show up and do it. And a lot of times these are around things like acts of service. Maybe they're doing a nice act of service for you. Maybe they're making an effort to be more present with you, turn their phone off when you go on a date or, or when you're spending time together. Like these types of things, if you request them in healthy, kind, accepting ways. But you're like, this is important to me. Can we work on this? They're really gonna show up and you'll see them action those things out. Okay? Huge thing. Now, if you don't know how to communicate well to a dismissive avoidant, this is a great place that you'll find yourself getting stuck. Okay? Like a really, really big piece where you can feel this distance. Because if you don't communicate your needs well, then they're gonna take that as criticism instead and feel hurt and shy away. And then you'll be left feeling as though your needs weren't heard or fulfilled. And that just creates a very problematic scenario. So if you want to go deeper. Before I tell you point number five, if you want to go deeper into learning about your personal relationship needs and how to communicate them in healthy ways and also learn about your partner's needs, because it's literally the single biggest way that we give and receive love, it's more impactful than literally love languages, then you can do a deep dive into our discover, embrace and fulfill your personal needs course. It's all about meeting your needs to self soothe and learning how to show up for yourself and learning what your partner's needs could be. And it really, really helps bridge the gap between differences in a relationship if you're having them. Because one of the biggest differences is when we expect love to look differently because we have different needs to in order to be loved and feel loved, then it's really going to create a lot of emotional distance. And we close that by learning these things. So I'll put that link down below. You can check it out fully for free for a limited time. And it actually comes with a codependency course for free for life. So you get to keep a free gift for life on top of that, which is super exciting. Number five, dismissive avoidance. When they're really falling in love, if there is distance, you're going to see that they try to bridge the gap themselves. So I think there's this fallacy or this sort of myth that if somebody's dismissive avoidant, they'll never initiate plans they'll never make an effort with you. That couldn't be further from the truth. Dismissive avoidance when they're interested in somebody, they make an effort. They're just slower. It's almost like, you know, if somebody's trying to run a 10k race, you know, the dismissive avoidant isn't going to sprint the 10k and have the fastest time, but they're going to complete the race, right? Versus somebody who's not interested. They might run the first hundred meters and then kind of give up or walk back. And somebody who's dismissive, you're going to see they're the needle's always moving. It's just moving more slowly. So the distance is being closed. It's just not as quickly as with other attachment styles. It's really important to note that if somebody's really interested, especially if they're falling in love with you as a dismissive avoidant, they're going to initiate plans, they're going to repair after distance. If there's an argument or disagreement, they're going to make an effort to hash it out and work it out with you, even if they don't know exactly how to do it. These are such important signs to look for, and a lot of these are signs that this person is willing to do the work and willing to take steps to become secure as well. Definitely something great to know. That's it for today. If you enjoyed today's video, please, like share and subscribe to this channel. I would love to have you here as a part of our community and I will see you next time.