Transcript
Tim Dillon (0:00)
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Ryan Seacrest (0:27)
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Tim Dillon (0:29)
For third party apps. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Great to be back with you here. Lots of fun being had by all. Great episode with Andrew Schultz out. If you haven't seen that yet, you should check that out. A lot of people enjoyed it. Thank you for the kind words. What is going on with the these group texts? I'm telling you, I'm telling you, and I've told you before, I'll tell you again, get out of these group texts. They are fucking you up. They're fun when you're 23. As you get older, you have to extricate yourself from the group text, by the way. You have to severely limit your, or rather people's access to you as you get older. It's not a free for all anymore. It can't be for your own sake, for the, for your own safety, for the sake of your own mental health. You cannot just have unlimited access to you. You have to. It can't be. Your phone cannot be going off every minute of, of every second. It will not work. You must limit the exposure. There's always someone in a group text who's way too into it. There's always someone in it who's not into it at all. There's always someone side texting you. There's always someone weirdly offended in a group text about something and you're like, no, the whole point of a group text is to talk all kinds of shit that would get us thrown in jail if it were to ever leak. That's the point of a group text. But it's not fun. It's evidence. It's. It's mountains and mountains of evidence on somebody's phone. Someone's always showing the group text to other people that are not in the text. I mean, there's legendary group text. I've been a part of some of them, but at the end of the day, you got to get yourself out of them. You have to get yourself out before something like this happens. It's bound to happen now. I Don't even know what this was. I don't even know if I believe what this is. That the National Security Advisor, this guy Mike Waltz, added Jeffrey Goldberg of the Atlantic to a group text where. Where Vance, Gabbard, Hegseth and others on Signal were talking about military plans. Number one, why am I not in it? Why am I not in it? I'm friends with two out of those people. I'm friends with Vance and Gabbard. Why am I not in the tax? I could be hilarious in it all the time. I'd be funny and I wouldn't add anyone into it. Apparently this journalist, Jeffrey Goldberg at the Atlantic, who's a massive, you know, critic of the administration, is in this group tax on signal. And they're all texting the plans for the. What are we even the Houthis. We're bombing the Houthis. And I'm bullish on that. I like that. Because the thing about the Houthis is no one really cares. We're not committed. We're not. We're not going to be. The thing about we need to bomb someone. We need it. We need it now. We. We've needed it. We need it. We'll need it in the future, always and forever. We need to be bombing someone. We just need to. There's nothing to do if we're not. There's nothing to do if we're not. The Pentagon's got a budget of like a quadrillion, quadrillion dollars. What do you do when you sit down to work on Monday morning if you are not launching an attack at someone? There's genuinely nothing to do. There's nothing to do if you're not at war with someone. Somewhere you gotta be. And the Houthis are a decent target. Cause they move around a lot. They're on the sea, they're disrupting trade, they're doing things. They're like a lovable little scamps. I mean, they're not lovable per se, but one of them, that hot one was, remember, the hot one, they compared to Chalamet, that guy. And they're doing a lot of stuff on social media. The Houthis, I think that's what they're mostly doing. I think they're just posting, really. I think they're more social media stuff than anything else. That's what they're really doing. They're out there, like tagging shit. It's like old school graffiti, fuck you down with Israel, stuff like that. I don't know what they're actually doing. Yeah, there's the hot one. There's a chalamet one, you know, but that's. That's where we're. We're focusing our attention is like blowing the shit out of them because they are fucking some stuff up on the sea for, like, the Chinese and for us. And they're back. They're backed by Lebanon, I think they're a militia, but not officially. Hezbollah is the real Lebanese militia, and the Houthis are. Oh, they're backed by Iran, and they're part of the Axis of resistance. Good God is great. Death to God is the greatest. Death to America. Death to Israel. Curse be upon the Jews. Victory to Islam is the main political slogan of the Houthi movement. So they're out there and they're. You know, some would say that's extreme. Some would say that view is extreme. And we're bombing them because they gotta get bombed. You can't pop shit like that and not get bombed. You have to get bombed. That's our job. As much of a pass. I don't want to be in a war, but I want people to get bombed. That's the fact. And if you don't like it, then fuck you. I want people to get bombed. Because without that, we will. They will piss in our face. We have not made a good movie in fucking forever. We have nothing going on. We have to bomb people to just get attention now. There's nothing left. There's nothing left here in this country. So that's it. And if people pop shit, they have to get bombed. But we shouldn't commit troops. We shouldn't. No regime change. Stop building malls there. None of that works. Just bomb them from the skies, rain hell on them, whatever. It's fine. If they're gonna. They want it. They want it. That's the whole point of it all. They do that. We do that. It's a whole thing. We. It needs to happen. No one's suggesting that. It's not happening. Everyone in this government's doing it. We'll do it. Bernie, aoc. They're. You. You listening? If you were in it, everyone would do it. There's nothing else to do. There's not. What would you do? You'd get into the government. You'd go. You go to the government. You order lunch. They go, all right, that'll be here in about 45. They go, Cool. You wash your hands a few times. You. Then you got to start drone striking people. There's nothing else to do. There is not one other thing to do at all. Except steal a little money from old people. But. And that's. They're running out of that. So you have to bomb people and you got to talk about it with the other people in the government because that's literally your job. There's nothing else to do. Where, where's Frank? I don't know. We're bombing the noon. And you go into the text and you go, we're, we're going, we're triangulating on their position. We're going to bomb them. And, and then you eat a salad. You're eating a salad while you're doing this. You're, you're, you're, you're texting the group chat about the bombings, the bomb, because we had. There's no other way. Don't even imagine, don't even entertain there being another way. There's no other way. So you're, you're bombing them and it's, you're sitting at your desk and you just ordered and literally you can look at your secretary go, what, what is that salad I like? It's the, it's, it's Mediterranean. It's from a. Mediterranean. It's Mediterranean. That's salad I like, but I don't, I don't want. They put too much onion. I don't want that. And then she orders it for you. And then in the group text you say we're gonna bomb them at 2am our time. And you know, so here's what it says, right? This is what the text says. VP Building collapse had multiple positive id. Pete Carilla, the ic Amazing job. JD Vance goes. What? I feel like he doesn't know what's going on. Michael typing too fast. The first target, their top missile guy. We had positive idea of him walking into his girlfriend's building and now it's collapsed. J.D. vance, excellent CIA director. A good start. Some other guy. Michael Waltz. Fist flag fire. Good job, Pete. And your team. Michael Waltz. The team in Mal did a great job as well. Sm Great work. All powerful start. Pete Hegseth might be drunk. CENTCOM was is on point. Great job all more strikes ongoing for hours tonight and we'll provide full initial report tomorrow. But on time, on target and good readout so far. Susie Wallace, Trump's chief of staff. Kudos to all, most particularly those in theater and centcom. Really great. God bless Steve Witkoff, that real estate developer who's trying to organize the Middle east peace deal. Prayer hands, Muscle Two flags tg. Great work in effects. It's a, it's a group chat. It's all it is. It's just a, it's people at work, it's their job. That's all it is. Here. It's not, I'm telling you, the problem with everything now is that people are convinced that everything is really interesting and it has layers of meaning and everything. And I'm a conspiracy guy and I've even, I, I, I, I don't even think it's that interesting anymore. I think there's things that are interesting, like there's evil people doing horrible things, largely for money and control and power and to satisfy their Machiavellian urges and, and sexual desires and, and whatever. But this is just a group, a group chat of people at work. And this is all, this is what the American government does, which is just bomb people constantly, all day, every day. And what are you, what are we not going to bomb them? They're fucking with us. They're doing shit. So we're going to bomb them. Trump's right about that. Trump knows. Throw the bombs because otherwise no one's doing anything. There's nothing to do. There's. The government is not even real unless we're bombing. It's not even a real thing. Like, yes, Do I agree with all the Elon firings? No. I think some of them are sloppy. But here's the reality. A lot of it's just not even real. Like, these people don't have jobs and they don't even exist. They're not even real. And they're being paid for by, by tax dollars to create these things that aren't real, that don't exist. So in order for our government to exist, we have to start bombing people and then people are going to talk about it. It's just like if you worked, you know, if you worked at Chipotle. Chipotle, Chipotle. Is it the Ellie at the end? Because some people pronounce it the other way. I don't. I agree. It's Chipotle you're texting about, you know. Oh, fucking. You know that she's a, that dirty bitch. She. People are going to get sick when she touches their food and stuff. Because that's that business. They hire some skank who's touching the food and you and your friends are in a group tax talking about what a dirty ho she is, that she's touching the rice. That's this, that's all, that's what this is, that there isn't more to this. And if people are going like, oh, well, people could have found out. Well, so What, So what? Would anyone be shocked if they found out that we were bombing people? I don't understand. I mean, yeah, I guess it's bad because then the people. We're going to bomb them. And you're saying, yeah, but our enemies could have found this out and tipped them off that they were getting bombed. Yeah, maybe. So we bomb them again. We would just bomb them again. This should be public. This should not even be in a text. That group text should just be on Fox News as the. As the. The one that goes, you know, that whatever it is on the. On the bottom of the channel, it should just be that strike drones on target. Can you imagine all the boomers going nuts, getting excited, just sitting in their living rooms, eating lemon cake that their daughter brought them from Starbucks, and they're just going, going. The bombs are dropping. They're dropping a bomb. That's all. People. People just want to get involved. People just want to be involved. I'm not outraged by this. What are we outraged about? Did everyone just realize we dropped bombs on everyone or that people text about. It's their fucking job. It's all it is. There's nothing like. Imagine a job review. He goes, what are you guys doing? They go, oh, we're just. Are you not. You're not bombing anyone? No. What are you doing? What are you doing? Well, we got together and reviewed the intelligence and, well, we. We found out that. Yeah. And we. We're gonna bomb them. Right? That's all there is. There's nothing else to do. That's the whole reason the government exists. That's it. It's to give people Social Security. So I guess they don't have to eat cat food or whatever. And to bomb people, I just like these Houthis. I think this is good to bomb because we can't go to war with Iran. It's too sticky and messy. And they have allies like China and Russia, but no one cares about the Houthis. The Houthis are an expendable group of people who. We. Who are just out there. And Iran doesn't really care about them. They just go, yeah, fuck shit up. And then you'll get bombed by America. And Iran's like, they're not gonna bomb us and bomb you and the Houthis. This is all part of the show and part of the fun. You need groups like this, Al Qaeda, the. The isis. You. You need them. You need these groups of radical psychopaths who do stuff, and then we bomb them. It's the only thing, truly, that we're we really understand. Everything else is kind of this weird black box of like, what? What are we doing? This is cut and dry. They pop shit on social media. They're all on social media. Popping. They're talking mad, and we're just bombing them. What are they doing in the Suez Canal? They're fucking around there. In the Suez Canal? Yeah. Cause as much as we talk about it, we can't go fuck up Greenland. All those people are white. So we're not gonna go kill a bunch of white people in green. What, are we gonna go into Denmark and start throwing clogs around? It's not going to happen. We got to bomb these people, the Houthis, because they're somewhere in the sea. How great is that? They're just in the sea starting shit. I love Helix. Everyone in my life goes, what are these beds? Why are they so comfortable? And I go, because they're Helix. It's the best. Go to helixsleep.com timd I mean, listen, here's the deal. People with the Apple watches, they go, oh, my God, I'm sleeping better. All of these things, people are like, my back pain has gone away. The night sweats, all of that, I'm telling you right now, everyone that comes to my home, the midnight deluxe is my favorite one. But there's. There's a lot of them. There's a bunch of different ones. I like firmer mattress. But you might not. You might go softer. You know, you got to take their quiz. It's so quick. It's so quick. You take a quiz and then they go, this is the right mattress for you. I mean, God, I'm telling you, there is no product that people ask me about more than the Helix mattress. Literally none. I love it so much. You can just go to helixsleep.com timd Flash sale. Sleep Awareness Month. Flash sale. 25% off site wide March 28th through the 31st. Don't be stupid. These are the best mattress. Who wants to go mattress shopping? What are you, a pervert? You and your girl are gonna go lay down in a mattress store. What's wrong with you? You. You're sick. You're sick. Imagine that if, like, your partner goes, your woman, your ma'am goes, let's go to the mattress store and we can lay on a bed in front of people. They're sick. Take the quiz online. You get them delivered to the house. Cut the nonsense. Helix sleep.comtimd helixleep.comtimd Speaking of. Speaking of bombs, this Snow White get this Zegler video up these movies. You got to stop making these big budget movies, by the way. You have to stop doing it. You have to stop with these big budget movies. A Hollywood reporter just came out and said Gen Z is no longer watching this type of entertainment. They're all watching social media, creators, YouTube, whatever. Now, by the way, the Hollywood Reporter came out with that last week. They should have written that article in 2012. But they're behind that. Should have came out like 2014. It came out last week. They're like, do you know that Gen Z is. They don't, they don't value this stuff. They like the Internet. It's like, guys, how behind are you? But they're all invested in believing that big bloated corpse of an industry is going to continue. They're all. They have a mutual investment in it. Part of the problem is that, that they come up with these movies like Snow White. They ruin the movie and then you have this bitch. I mean, these are the mo. When actors and actresses talk, you realize that they're the biggest losers in the world. Now, the reason that we can tolerate that is because we don't know that they read words written by other people and all of their appearances are carefully managed and choreographed. But when they go off book and they start telling us who they are, we realize they suck and we hate them. And that's what's really destroying Hollywood. Sure, there's a million reasons, but the biggest thing, these people, when just given the chance, completely fuck everything by talking. And if they would just shut their mouth. No one is asking these people to talk. No one is pleading with them for their opinions on anything. No one cares. But they feel compelled because they're watching the people on the Internet talk and get a following. Being authentic, being themselves or being some version of themselves or whatever. That being said, these people go, oh, I'll do that. I'll weigh in. And they make a big mess. And everybody hates it. Now let's watch Rachel Zegler here. It's just, it's, it's cocky, it's humorless. It's everything wrong with everything. Let's watch it.