Claudia Ashray (5:00)
I appreciate how much you, like, took it seriously. They take it so seriously over there. Like, I thought I had seen the show and I know that, like, they make everybody, like, cover up and wear masks. And I thought there was, like, like, a performative element to that. Like, there aren't people actually walking around the lot wearing masks over their face. You guys. I was not allowed to leave my trailer without gloves. Pants, obviously. Their. Their pants, their sweatshirt, a face mask, socks covering everything. They didn't want a piece of jewelry, I guess. There's like, a lot of photos that get leaked and I was, like, literally wearing my toast merch. So obviously, like, the Archie Parchee shirt was gonna be a red flag. They take it so seriously. You have to sign, like, a lot of documents. Like, you are not allowed to tell anyone. And, like, it was. It was the craziest experience of my life. And I did it. So I found out I was gonna be on. They called me over the summer, right? We dinner. So at that point, I was two months postpartum, and I knew it was going to be in October. So I was like, okay, I'm going to be four months postpartum. And like, I'll be fine. Like, four months. I was already feeling, like, pretty good, you know? And I don't know if it Was like this huge life change. Like, I moved to la, I moved my whole family. I'm still exclusively breastfeeding. I have a four month old, I'm working full time. And I was about to start maternity leave for you. So I was going to be doing like, a little bit more work than usual. I don't know if it was like, all of that, that, like, kind of sent me into a spiral or. Or just like postpartum finally hitting me. Because I used to always say, like, postpartum depression is afraid of me. Postpartum anxiety is afraid of me. And like, girl, no, I'm afraid of it. Like. And I spoke about it a little bit on the podcast when I got back from L. A talking about I was like, having anxiety, but I couldn't really get into, like, real reasons why. But I think, like, all the life changes, this big opportunity. And then, like, the postpartum, I, like, had a full crash out. Like, I was really not okay. And I was, like, kind of freaking out because I'd signed on to do the show. And, like, I didn't know if they were going to be understanding of, like, I was like, I didn't know how to explain. Like, I'm not okay. And actually everybody worked there, like, was a girl, like, two of them were pregnant. Like, I have to say, everyone at Fox was so nice, so understanding. They gave me like a, like a bunch of, you know, ways to. To work through it. They were gonna. And I was just like, listen, I feel like for the best thing. And I was also, like, I didn't realize how much anxiety. I had never really left Ruby before. Right. Like, I did my maternity leave. We went to the Hamptons. I have a very amazing, flexible job where I get to, like, be with my baby most of the day. And I never spent that time, much time away from him before. And I was, like, really unhappy. And then, like, pumping in the trailer, like, it was just. I. I took on way more than I thought I would. And I felt like, you know what? I have sung on TV now more than once. I got to live out my dreams. I did what I came here to do. I do know that if I was in a different place in my life, like, I would have won. I'm sorry. I know everybody thinks that, like, Jenny McCarthy told me when she. Oh, so. And then when Jenny McCarthy came on the toes, like, that was obviously, like, coordinated with us and Fox and they were, like, wanting to, like, leave Little Easter egg.
