Don't Rain on Trump's Military Birthday Parade | Julianne Moore, Marc Maron, Jurnee Smollett, Tommy Brennan | Thursday, June 12

Summary

Summary of "Don't Rain on Trump's Military Birthday Parade" Episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
• Host: NBC Universal
• Description: The Tonight Show is the longest-running talk show on television and the #1 late-night program on digital. New episodes feature Jimmy Fallon’s latest monologue, extended interviews with celebrity guests, sketches, games, stand-up, and more, airing weekday mornings (Tuesday-Friday).
• Episode: Don't Rain on Trump's Military Birthday Parade | Julianne Moore, Marc Maron, Jurnee Smollett, Tommy Brennan | Thursday, June 12
• Release Date: June 13, 2025

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1. Opening Monologue and Father's Day Jokes [00:00 - 05:43]

Jimmy Fallon kicks off the episode with a humorous take on Father's Day, showcasing a series of comically flawed Father's Day cards. His monologue is filled with witty one-liners that highlight the quirks of fatherhood, eliciting laughs from both the live audience and listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• "Father's Day is almost here, and a lot of people are still shopping for that perfect card." [01:00]
• "This card says, 'Dad, you’re always there for me.' Open it up, it says, 'unless Bosch is on.'" [01:20]
• "Another one says, 'I don’t know anyone else.' Open it up, 'Who bought their clothes and their TV from the same store?'" [01:40]

Following the monologue, Jimmy transitions into a satirical news segment focusing on former President Donald Trump hosting a congressional picnic and preparing for a large military parade celebrating his birthday. Fallon humorously critiques the event's logistics and political undertones, incorporating playful jabs at public figures like Elon Musk and Mitch McConnell.

Notable Quotes:

• "Trump personally grilled all the burgers on his tanning bed, but was well done or burnt to a Crisp." [03:00]
• "Democrats are secretly hoping lightning strikes during the parade because a Freaky Friday situation might be the only way to get back in the White House." [04:20]

Jimmy further breaks down the parade's details with comedic comparisons, intertwining the actual numbers with exaggerated, humorous parallels.

Notable Quotes:

• "There’re 150 military vehicles involved in the parade, but it's also the number of times Eric Trump will ask, 'When do I get to see Bluey?'" [05:43]
• "140,000 pounds — that’s how much each tank weighs, and also how many times Trump will check his phone for a B-day text from Putin." [05:50]

2. Promotion of Mo Willems' Book and Unintentional Self-Promotion [06:00 - 10:04]

In a heartfelt segment, Jimmy Fallon gives a shout-out to children's author Mo Willems, celebrating his number one New York Times bestseller, Will the Pigeon Graduate? However, the promotion takes an unintended turn when Fallon discovers his own book, Papa Doesn't Do Anything, is listed as the second bestseller. This leads to a humorous and relatable interaction with his brother Billy Fallon, highlighting the awkwardness of unintentional self-promotion.

Notable Quotes:

• "My book Papa Doesn't Do Anything is available for Father's Day." [08:32]
• "This is a complete nightmare for me. And right now I am shook." [08:16]
• "I love every one of his books. He’s like a modern day Dr. Seuss." [08:45]

3. Interview with Julianne Moore [11:27 - 20:35]

Guest: Julianne Moore
Projects Discussed: Sirens (Netflix), Echo Valley (Apple TV+), Stick (Apple TV series)

Julianne Moore joins the show to discuss her recent and upcoming projects. Fallon praises her performance in Sirens and shares anecdotes about her co-stars, including Jurnee Smollett and Sydney Sweeney. Moore humorously recounts her experience working with trained falcons on set, providing entertaining behind-the-scenes insights.

Notable Quotes:

• "In the first episode of the show, I have a falcon that I'm supposed to be releasing into the wild. It's a female and they don't want to work." [14:09]
• "This is an Emmy and Oscar-winning actress who you can see in the hit Netflix series Sirens." [11:27]
• "Echo Valley is about a daughter who shows up to her mom’s doorstep, covered in blood." [19:19]

Moore also delves into her character’s emotional depth in Echo Valley and the challenges of filming intense scenes, offering listeners a glimpse into her acting process.

4. Interview with Marc Maron [21:27 - 31:04]

Guest: Marc Maron
Topics Discussed: Ending his podcast WTF with Marc Maron, his role in the Bruce Springsteen biopic, and the new Apple TV series Stick.

Marc Maron talks about his decision to conclude his influential podcast after 16 years, reflecting on its impact on the podcasting medium and his personal growth. He shares amusing stories about interviewing Bruce Springsteen for the biopic I Cannot Wait and his experiences infiltrating the music legend’s creative space.

Notable Quotes:

• "We decided we're gonna put it to bed. We're gonna stop. We're gonna not do it anymore." [22:03]
• "Somebody's gonna get fired. It's just going to be ridiculous." [10:00]
• "When you make your girlfriend cry, it just doesn't feel as good. Or I'm kidding. I've never won." [43:00]

Maron humorously discusses his limited acting role in the Springsteen movie, emphasizing the contrast between his podcast persona and on-screen presence.

5. Interview with Jurnee Smollett [34:57 - 38:37]

Guest: Jurnee Smollett
Projects Discussed: Smoke (Apple TV+), her role in Sirens, and her personal life.

Jurnee Smollett shares her experiences filming Sirens and discusses her new Apple TV+ series, Smoke. She opens up about her son's adorable attempts to emulate his mother's fitness routines and the challenges of balancing her professional and personal life. Additionally, Smollett delves into the intense and emotionally charged nature of her role in Smoke, highlighting the physical transformation and emotional depth required.

Notable Quotes:

• "My son is obsessed with sports and athletes. He really wants to have a muscular build at 8." [35:34]
• "Michelle, my character in Smoke, is someone who pushes herself really hard and has a lot of childhood trauma that she pours into various outlets." [37:06]
• "I did my trainer, Jeanette Jenkins, and I put on a total of 20 pounds to feel more muscular." [37:17]

Smollett’s candid discussion about her portrayal of a troubled detective and the rigorous preparation she undertook provides listeners with an insightful look into her craft.

6. Segment with Tommy Brennan [38:54 - 45:16]

Guest: Tommy Brennan
Topics Discussed: His upcoming stand-up performances at Sisyphus Comedy Club and interactions with other guests.

Tommy Brennan appears to discuss his stand-up routines and upcoming performances. Although brief, the segment highlights his comedic style and chemistry with fellow guests like Marc Maron.

Notable Quotes:

• "You’re a trained assassin who's been reassigned as a traffic cop." [44:17]
• "I've never won an argument against my girlfriend and then been like, dang, the vibes in here are chill as hell." [44:42]

His humorous take on personal relationships and self-deprecating humor adds a light-hearted element to the episode.

7. Closing Remarks and Musical Performances [45:16 - End]

Jimmy Fallon wraps up the show by thanking all guests, including Julianne Moore, Marc Maron, Jurnee Smollett, and Tommy Brennan, commending their performances and contributions to the episode. The show concludes with musical performances and upbeat sign-offs, leaving the audience entertained and looking forward to future episodes.

Notable Quotes:

• "My thanks to Juliet [Julianne] Moore, Marc Maron, Jurnee Smollett, Tommy Brennan, once again, well done. That was great. And the Roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody." [45:33]
• "Thanks for listening to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts." [46:12]

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Conclusion:

This episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon masterfully blends humor, celebrity interviews, and engaging discussions about current projects. From Fallon’s witty monologue on Father’s Day to in-depth conversations with high-profile guests like Julianne Moore and Marc Maron, the show offers a rich variety of content. Notable moments include Maron’s reflections on ending his podcast and Smollett’s insights into her role in Smoke. Tom Brennan’s comedic segments add an extra layer of laughter, making this episode both entertaining and informative for listeners.

Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio 16, Rockefeller steps in the.

[Billy Fallon]

Heart of New York City.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's a Connection. Starring Billy Fallon.

[Billy Fallon]

I joined Jimmy Lucette.

[Julianne Moore]

Julianne Moore, Mark Barrett, Ernie Smollett, comedian.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Tommy Brennan, and Beecher Speed, legendary Luke Hurry. 2148. And now it give me Fantastic. Thank you very much. Enjoy yourself, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show. You're here. The Tonight Show. Oh, I'm so happy you're here. Thanks for watching. Well, guys, Sunday is Father's Day. I guess we'll add applause later. A week ago, you were googling best Father's Day gifts, and by tomorrow, you'll be searching for the closest gas station to me. Yeah, Father's Day is almost here, and a lot of people are still shopping for that perfect card. There are so many good choices out there. But I'll show you what I mean. First up, this card says, dad, you're always there for me. Open it up, it says, unless Bosch is on. Here's another one here. This says, I love FaceTiming you. Open it up, it says, and seeing the inside of your ear. Hello. Hello. The next one says, I don't know anyone else. Open it up says, who bought their clothes and their TV from the same store? You got it right there. This next one says, you never do anything halfway. Open up says, unless you count the deck, the treehouse, the nursery, the garden, the shed, or your marriage.

[Marc Maron]

What?

[Jurnee Smollett]

Wow.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Next up, this one says, you raised me, you supported me, you taught me everything. Open it up says, so here's two Slim Jims and a scratcher. Up next, this one says, I'm so proud of you. Open it up says, please read the front of this card out loud. I just want to hear how it sounds. Next up, this one says, dad, you can do anything. Open it up says, except stay awake for an entire movie. Just come on. It's only an hour and a half, dad. Up next, this one says, I can always count on you. Open up says to say something vaguely problematic in public. This next one says, I always end every call with you with the same three words. Open it up and says, is mom there? And finally, finally, this one says, you always end each other with the same three words. Open it up and says, well, all right, then. There you go. Happy Father's Day, everybody. Happy Father's Day. Well, some news from Washington. Earlier tonight, President Trump hosted the annual congressional picnic on the south Lawn of the White House. And this was nice. Trump personally grilled all the burgers on his tanning bed, but was well done or burnt to a Crisp. That's the only two settings on the bed. The picnic was fun, although it was a little awkward when Elon Musk's head kept popping up over the fence like. You guys having a party? You guys have any party? I smell hot dogs, you guys. Of course it's a big weekend for Trump, cuz this Saturday is the giant military parade he's holding on his birthday. And to make sure Trump doesn't get bored during the parade, Melania is letting him bring his iPad. All right, just, just this one. Then you go to bed at 9:30. Okay. Yep, Saturday is Trump's military parade. And we actually got ahold of the map showing all the fun festivities. It's pretty interesting. I'll show you what I mean. For instance, here's Constitution Avenue, where the parade begins. Next up, here's the concert stage, where there'll be several performances. Up next, here's where Mitch McConnell will be dressed in his original Civil War uniform. Next up, here's the petting zoo, featuring goats, llamas, and J.D. vance's beard. You can pet it. Oh, wow. Go right up to it. You pet it. Be careful. Bite. Up next, here's where the Space Force will be told, sorry, you're not on the list. And finally, here's where a tank will accidentally run over Trump's Tesla. Sounds like a fun time. People will be psychedelic. But get this, apparently there's supposed to be thunderstorms in D.C. all weekend, which means the parade could get rained out. Good luck delivering Trump that message. It's like telling a kid that a soccer birthday party has to turn into a watch a movie in the basement park. Meanwhile, Democrats are secretly hoping lightning strikes during the parade because a Freaky Friday situation might be the only way to get back in the White House. Assuming Trump's parade does happen, it's shaping up to be a pretty big event. We thought that we'd take a moment to break it down, but by the numbers.

[Billy Fallon]

Okay?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. All right, check this out. First up, we have 150. That is the number of military vehicles involved in the parade, but it's also the number of times Eric Trump will ask, when do I get to see Bluey? Next up, there's 6,000. That's the number of soldiers participating in the parade, but it's also the number of seats reserved for Elon's kids. Then there's 26. That's how many tanks are in the parade. But it's also how many times Kim Jong Un will see footage of the parade and say it me Next up, there's nine. That's what time workers start setting up for fireworks. But it's also the number of fingers Rudy Giuliani will have after setting up the fireworks. And finally, there's 140,000. That's how many pounds each tank weighs. It's also how many times Trump will check his phone for a B day text from Putin. Not yet. Finally, this is going viral. Pope Leo just wore a White Sox hat at the Vatican. Take a look at this. And weirdly, this is what the White Sox third baseman was wearing today. Yeah. We have a great show. Give it up for the Roots and my brother.

[Julianne Moore]

Face for your face. Eyes for your eyes. Don't blink. Black ink as a.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. Hey, I just want to give a shout out to one of our pals that has been on the show. I love him. He's got the number one children's picture book right now. This is Mo Willems. Look at this. Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

Mo Williams.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Will the pigeon graduate. Isn't that amazing? Number one book. Wait. Whoops. We love you, Mo. He's a friend of the show. I'm happy for him.

[Billy Fallon]

What was the highlighted one?

[Jimmy Fallon]

What's. Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

[Billy Fallon]

What?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ah, this is so. This is totally embarrassing.

[Billy Fallon]

What?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I didn't. Well, I guess I'm also on the list. I'm number two. I didn't realize that. This is, like, complete. It's a complete nightmare.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is a complete nightmare for me. And right now I am shook.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Because I didn't want. I didn't want, you know, I didn't want to come out and talk about me and that. My book Papa Doesn't Do Anything is available for Father's Day. And if you order it now on Amazon prime or something. QR code. Bleep Lord. I don't know about that.

[Billy Fallon]

I just wanted to give a shout out to Mo Williams. And now it looks like you're stealing his thunder.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm just. Right now I'm shook, and I don't know what to do. I mean, I am really shook right now because I want to give Mo Willems what he does is amazing.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love every one of his books. My kids read all of them. He's like a modern day. Our modern day Dr. Seuss. Mo Willems, Elephant and Piggy. I love those books, too. Pigeon's great. And I was just trying to give a little. Let him have a little attention, you know? Cause he doesn't have a show where he can go on his show and talk about his book. He needs a little attention.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And so his book is great. I love it.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah. His number one book is great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

New York Times, dude. Right? This is New York Times. They don't have to put. No, they don't have to do anything. I love the New York Times. I read it all the time. I play wordle Connections. I do the mini crossword.

[Billy Fallon]

Mini crossword.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I don't do anything else besides those three things.

[Billy Fallon]

Front page.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And I look at these bestsellers and then here I am next to Mo Willems. I am. So you're just embarrassed. Yeah, I'm completely embarrassed.

[Billy Fallon]

It makes it almost like you wanted to promote your book and you were calling out Mo Williams just to point out that your book was number two. But that's not the way it is at all. You just wanted to give Mo Williams a shout out.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

And suddenly some boob highlights your list on the New York Times.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ridiculous.

[Billy Fallon]

Somebody's gonna get fired.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's just.

[Billy Fallon]

Somebody is gonna get fired.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, heads are gonna roll up.

[Billy Fallon]

Oh, my God.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Heads are gonna roll.

[Billy Fallon]

I am befuddled.

[Jimmy Fallon]

They're just taking the.

[Billy Fallon]

Oh, no. What? No. What? No.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Drum roll. We have a. We have a wonderful show for you tonight. She stars in the hit Netflix series Sirens. Oh, my gosh. The biggest show. As well as a new movie, Echo Valley, which streams tomorrow on Apple tv. Sydney Sweeney's in that, too. Julianne Moore is here, the one and only. Plus you can see him in the Apple TV series Stick, which premieres new episodes every Wednesday. Marc Maron is joining us. Love Marc Maron. She stars in the new series Smoke, which begins streaming June 27, also on Apple TV. Jurnee Smollett is here. She's great. And we got stand up from Tommy Brennan.

[Marc Maron]

Stick around.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We'll be right back with Julianne Moore, everybody. Our first guest is an Oscar and Emmy winning actress who you can see in the hit Netflix series Sirens. And she stars in the new movie Echo Valley, which streams tomorrow on Apple tv. Everyone, please welcome Julianne Moore. They love you. We love you. Come on, Julianne Moore. You look gorgeous. We love it every time you come by. Thank you so much for coming back.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Thanks for having me.

[Billy Fallon]

Please.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We love you. Congrats on Sirens, by the way. Oh, my gosh.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Oh, my goodness.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Number one. Number one on Netflix in like 40 something countries. That's amazing.

[Jurnee Smollett]

It's pretty crazy. Everybody has seen it. Even the woman in my, like, beverage buying store where I get my mini diet Pepsis.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jurnee Smollett]

She loved it. She was like, that's not like you at all.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. See? Yeah. I see you do good acting.

[Jurnee Smollett]

That's right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love it.

[Marc Maron]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I think that's fun. When I see people that just know my normal life or somebody, they go, hey, I saw your thing. I love that. It makes me happy.

[Jurnee Smollett]

I know.

[Billy Fallon]

It makes me really happy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Fans love it so much, they want it to come back for season two.

[Jurnee Smollett]

It's crazy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Could there be a season two?

[Jurnee Smollett]

It's not up to me. It's up to our writer, Molly Smith Metzger, and she. The last time you saw me, I was on a ferry in town. So I don't know how I get back.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I saw you posted something with one of your co stars here and is you in a.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Look at that guy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

A falcon.

[Jurnee Smollett]

He's a teenage falcon. A teenager. I know he's a teenage falcon. And he was very nervous. He didn't want to eat his piece of raw chicken. I tried really hard.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But he liked you.

[Jurnee Smollett]

He did like me. And in the middle of a scene, because I'd been kind of touching him and talking to him, I had my hand out and I was talking to Millie in a scene and he just jumped on my hand. And I was like, that better be in the show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

Right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Because he bonded with you.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It was funny. I was in Vegas once and I saw a guy with a falcon. He had like a glove and the falcon would land and I just thought, he's an interesting guy, you know?

[Jurnee Smollett]

Right. Las Vegas, what they do.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I just thought, he's walking around Las Vegas with the falcon. No, but he was hired by the hotel.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Oh, oh. Cause that's right. Because they keep the seagulls away.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. They scare pigeons away or something.

[Jurnee Smollett]

They have these big, big talents. In the first episode of the show, I have a falcon that I'm supposed to be releasing into the wild. It's a female and, you know, they're trained falcons and they don't want to.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Work, you know, now because they're done yet.

[Billy Fallon]

They don't want to work.

[Jurnee Smollett]

They don't want to work. So I kept going like this. And she'd go up and she'd come back. I'd go up and she'd come back and they have these big talons. Right. And I'm like in this dress. It's all like goddess y. I have bare shoulders. She goes up and she lands on my shoulder.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And you start bleeding, start crying.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Everybody goes like. But she just, like sat there with her big old talons, like, didn't do.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Come on. Shout out to the falcon. Who watches the Falcon, watches the Tonight show every night. So it's perfect. You know, we've had some actors that you're co stars of these projects on the show. Sydney Sweeney is recently here. She's wonderful.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

She said how much she loves you and they all geek out working with you and your whole career.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Aw, they're all great. Millie Alcock and Megan Fahey and Sydney Sweeney, just really, really wonderful actresses.

[Jimmy Fallon]

They love you, but they're like, so. I was like, that's so cool. Because I go, julianne Moore, I've known you for, for a long time. No, you are. But I mean, but I mean, I was like, she's the nicest person, honestly, you meeting her. I just love that they were all in awe. And I was like, is there people that you were in awe of or freaked out?

[Jurnee Smollett]

First time meeting Meryl, you know, that was always. That's like, oh, yeah. Meryl Streep. Bow down. Right? And then. Yeah. And then once I was doing a play. This was crazy, actually. This was really crazy. I was doing a play on Broadway and everybody. It was opening night and all these people had come in and for some reason my dressing room door had closed. So I kind of was a knock and I went over there to open it, and I came face to face with David Bowie.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Cool.

[Jurnee Smollett]

I know. And he said, hello.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. As one would.

[Jurnee Smollett]

And then I don't remember what happened.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That was all you. I was like, wow, you handle the Falcon. You can't handle David Bowie. Hello. And that was it. That's why you blacked out.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Hello.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How cool. Let's talk about your film, Echo Valley. This is a thriller. You really don't know where it's gonna go. Lots of twists and turns. You were telling me backstage you didn't realize it was an action movie.

[Jurnee Smollett]

You know, I don't always read the stage directions.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You were unbelievable. You're so funny.

[Jurnee Smollett]

I get very caught up in the dialogue.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah. You're like, hey, what does this say?

[Marc Maron]

What do they say?

[Jurnee Smollett]

Oh, she says that. Oh, he says this. Oh, she says this. And I read that kind of stuff. And then it's like. And then the lake.

[Billy Fallon]

La la la la.

[Jurnee Smollett]

And then the horses. La la la. And then the barn's on fire.

[Marc Maron]

La la la la.

[Jurnee Smollett]

But I don't really think. I don't think about it much. And so then as we were doing it, I was like, wow, I'm tired. These horses.

[Jimmy Fallon]

These horses.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yeah, these horses. This running, this car stunt. And Then I'm like. And this lake, there's like, all of this swimming. The director said. I said to him, what are we gonna do about that underwater stuff? And he said, we're gonna go underwater. But I just didn't wanna think about it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do you know anything about diving or.

[Jurnee Smollett]

I'm not a good. I didn't learn how to swim until I was 26.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Is that right?

[Jurnee Smollett]

No, it's really weird. And so I'm kind of. I can swim now. I can really swim. But diving, I never got to. Because it's really hard to put your head down. All the water goes up your nose. So I just said, nope, yeah, no, no, no, no, I'm not.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But you did do stuff. You actually did die.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Well, so that's what happened. It's like, we had to. When I was doing it in the surface of the lake, I was, okay, because you can't see that I'm not putting my head all the way down with the water going up my nose. But then we were in the tank. We were in a tank in London, actually. This big, big tank.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So the tank simulating the lake, you.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Know, all the underwater stuff.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And all the cameras are there.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yeah, that's right. So they were like, you have to duck dive and just go down past the camera. I'm like, well, first of all, I can't duck dive. And second of all, I can't even see the camera. I can't see it because I don't have goggles on. I can't see anything.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do you see anything underwater? I don't see anything. I don't see anything underwater. I don't open my eyes until I start the show. And then when the credits roll, I close my eyes.

[Jurnee Smollett]

That's right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Somebody get me to my house.

[Marc Maron]

That's right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

I don't.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's what I do. No, underwater, I can't see anything.

[Jurnee Smollett]

No. And they kept trying to teach me how to duck dive. Like, I would do it, and they'd be like, no, no, no, no. Just pull your knees up and go down. And I do it again. I go, no, we'll just, like, do this and just pull it up and go straight down. And they kept. Again and again. And finally I said, listen, you can tell me a million times, I'm still not going to be going down.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm not going to do this thing. Well, let me taste it.

[Jurnee Smollett]

And they were like. Well, they were like, just. You just. Just try it. Just try it. You just have to do it once.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's all you Need.

[Jurnee Smollett]

And here we go.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You nailed it.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Here we go.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You brought a video of you successfully doing a duck dive.

[Jurnee Smollett]

I did a duck dive.

[Billy Fallon]

Too much.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Look at that.

[Jurnee Smollett]

There we.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, that is how you do it. That's gorgeous. You nailed it.

[Jurnee Smollett]

I still couldn't see anything. I couldn't see anything.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And were you so happy when you got that take?

[Jurnee Smollett]

I was so happy when we all started to applaud and I came out and they were like, yeah. Anyway, so that's the one time we have evidence.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You did it. You nailed it. But tell me about this movie. Tell everyone what Echo Valley is about.

[Jurnee Smollett]

This one's about an hour 44.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's an hour 44 minutes. I know. What is the premise? Thank you. Yeah, exactly.

[Billy Fallon]

That's how you do it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's how you do it. Yeah, yeah. The premise, though, is a daughter shows up to her to her mom's doorstep.

[Jurnee Smollett]

So you start. You start this movie. My character is bereft. She's lost her partner. She's grief stricken. Grief stricken. They're laughs out there.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, I know.

[Billy Fallon]

They're grief.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yeah. Anyway.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, you're being serious now.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yeah, I'm being serious now. This grief stricken, she has to take care of this farm all by herself. Real economic pressure. Her daughter is an addict. That's really sad and horrible. And then there's a knock on a rainy night.

[Billy Fallon]

Like.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Open the door.

[Jurnee Smollett]

I open the door, there's my daughter.

[Billy Fallon]

Cool.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yeah, but she's covered in blood.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hello. All right, here we go. And not her blood.

[Jurnee Smollett]

That's not her blood.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You see what I'm saying? It's so good.

[Jurnee Smollett]

That's right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's so good. You're so good. Sydney's so good. It's fantastic. Julianne Moore, everybody. Echo Valley Streams tomorrow on Apple TV plus and Sirens is streaming now on Netflix. Thank you so much for coming. We love you so much. More treasure after the break.

[Julianne Moore]

Stick around, everybody. Yes, y' all to the beat on Party. Having people guarantee the HD.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Crew. Our next guest is a very funny comedian and a talented actor. He stars in the Apple TV series Stick, which premieres new episodes every Wednesday. Please welcome Marc Maron. Oh, my gosh. Mark, welcome back. You look great.

[Billy Fallon]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We have a lot to get into.

[Billy Fallon]

Because you know what? Just to start out, like, I wanted to get a selfie with Julianne Moore, and I'm just standing back there like an idiot. And she went out the other door.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, it rotates. You come from the door like I'm.

[Billy Fallon]

Standing there like, here she comes. And they're like, oh, no, she left.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But she kind of. She was told that you had your phone out, ready for yourself.

[Billy Fallon]

I told her. I told her before.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

I'm like, can we do a selfie? She's like, yeah. And I'm like, standing there like, I don't even know why I'm here now.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Need to see me to say hi to me.

[Billy Fallon]

Hey, buddy. We're friends.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Thank you so much.

[Billy Fallon]

She's great, though, right now. Who's gone?

[Jimmy Fallon]

She left the building.

[Billy Fallon]

All right. Are you all right?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm doing great. Okay, that's good. It's always good to see you. You look good. I have to get into this with you because wtf. Your podcast, which is groundbreaking, is going away.

[Billy Fallon]

It is. You're ending your podcast after 16 years? Yeah. We decided we're gonna put it to bed. We're gonna stop. We're gonna not do it anymore. How many ways can I say that? But it's our decision, you know? And it's kind of interesting that we chose to do it, but we've done an amazing amount of work. There's over, like, 1600 interviews, a lot of different people, and basically, me and Brendan, my producer, were like, look, you know, the world is ending, and we might as well enjoy some free time.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

For the few months we're gonna have.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. That's so positive. Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

I like to stay positive, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Of course. You are very positive. Look at some of these headlines, though, by the way, saluting Marc Maron, a podcast pioneer who unlocked the gates. That's gq.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

New York Times. Marc Maron's PODC helped me see a creative future.

[Marc Maron]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And look at this one. There will never be another WTF with Marc Maron.

[Billy Fallon]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

What's great about my show is about a third of the audience is like, maybe I should check that out.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's gonna be ja. But you were there when it first began. I mean, you started out of your garage.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah. It's funny, when I started, because a lot of people in our business, no one knew what a podcast was, right?

[Jimmy Fallon]

No.

[Billy Fallon]

So when I told people, like, we're gonna start a podcast. I'm just gonna record it in my garage, people were like, that's sad. I don't know. He's just doing something in his garage now, but at least he's busy, you know?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. But look, you. You had a sitting president in your garage.

[Billy Fallon]

This was when he was still president.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, That's.

[Billy Fallon]

Is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That. Is that stressful. Stressful Having Obama.

[Billy Fallon]

Is it stressful to have a sitting president come to your house and make him sit in there? Yeah, but it's kind of cool, right?

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's amazing.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah. Because it was a big deal, the.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Secret Service and everything.

[Billy Fallon]

Oh, it was nuts, man. And I've said this a million times, but it was funny because I had this neighbor who was retired, and I had to ask him. I'm like, it's okay if we put snipers on your roof?

[Jimmy Fallon]

And the guy was like, sniper ever?

[Billy Fallon]

Exactly. Okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What's wrong with your neighbor who's having parties all the time?

[Billy Fallon]

Oh, he couldn't wait.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. He's like, no, my neighbor's putting snipers on my roof.

[Billy Fallon]

It was intense. You know, I was nervous, but he was very disarming and immediately, you know, very connected. You know, he knew what we were doing. It wasn't a political show. We were going to have a conversation about his life. He actually spent a couple years at the college pretty close to my house, so he kind of knew the neighborhood. But I remember when he got in there, before we started talking, I was like, you nervous about this? And he says, if I was nervous about this, we'd all be in trouble.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's it. He's fast. He's good, right?

[Billy Fallon]

He's quick, man. He's quick. It was a big deal, not just for me, but I think for the medium of podcasting. Because really, like you said, when we started, there weren't any. There were a few, but it wasn't a popular medium. People didn't know how to get it. I don't think my mother still knows how to. She doesn't know how to get it because you tell people. It's like. It's just on your phone. You get it like music. She's like, where? All right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I remember. I know you as a comedian first, a great comedian. I used to watch you all the time performing at the Comedy Store, and I loved you. And then when you started the podcast, I loved you even more, and I felt like I got to know you a little more. I felt like you grew a lot.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah. Well, I think if you really listen to the podcast, like the first hundred episodes, it was just me having celebrities over to talk about my problems, kind of.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

And I think that's how the style evolved. But I think the primary component and the constant of the podcast is me and what I'm going through in my life. So that's the most important thing.

[Jurnee Smollett]

And.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You define the medium.

[Billy Fallon]

You know how my Cats are why I broke up with my girlfriend. But people did get to know me to a point. This is a very real thing, parasocial relationships. I'm sure you know what that is. It's where people, like, there might be a couple in your audience who are like. Like, I know Jimmy. You know, and. Yeah, but they don't know you at all, and they're going to be waiting outside your house.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So I know all of these people. They're my best friends. Not bad, right? I learned I'm pretty good. I'm getting better.

[Billy Fallon]

That's very good.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you.

[Billy Fallon]

That's some professional right there. No, but you do. And I do feel the weight of that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That.

[Billy Fallon]

Because after 16 years of people listening, we were only an audio podcast. And I think that when it's audio, the intimacy of it and the relationship people have with you is very personal and it's very real. And I know there are a lot of people that are really counting on me to keep their sanity, and now they're just going to be nuts.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, I think they'll. They'll find. But we will miss you on that end. But I. But will we get to see. We get to see more standup from you? More acting?

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah, sure. Well, yeah, I mean, I did. I have a special coming out later in the summer on hbo, and I did the movie. The. The Bruce Springsteen movie.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my gosh. How was that? You gotta tell me. You know, I love music. Yeah, we always talk music. Every time we talk.

[Billy Fallon]

The funny thing is, like, there's a couple things, like, I interviewed Bruce, and you're probably friends with him because you're, you know, you. But. But I just remember, like, you know, I love Bruce, everybody loves Bruce. But, you know, I still, you know, I'm not a fanatic. So I go out to his house in Jersey. You know, this is years ago, and it was, like, during Christmas time. And I'm waiting in this. Like, he's got this little separate house for just his guitars, a motorcycle, and some other stuff. And they have their own house. Well, it's. Whatever it is. So I'm sitting out there waiting for him, and I see him walking down from the house, and I'm like, all right, here he comes, right? And he walks in. He doesn't really know me. He's not real sure what the show is. So I'm trying to break the ice, and I go, so, what's going on with the house? A lot of Christmas craziness. Cooking, wrapping presents and stuff. And he goes, correct. And I'M like, can I talk to that Bruce for the entire hour? The angry at the kind of like.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Correct, correct. A lot of business is happening at that house. That's why I'm here.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah. But I kept. You know, I kept going, and we had a good conversation.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, I remember that one.

[Billy Fallon]

And years later, a friend of mine, Tall Wilkenfeld, the bass player, was talking to Bruce about doing press, you know, for her album. And she goes, I don't know how to handle interviewers. And Bruce goes, you just say what you want. Doesn't matter what they ask you. You tell them what you want to tell them. And then she says, my friend Mark Maron interviewed you. And he said he pushed.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He pushed. He pushed a little bit.

[Billy Fallon]

Correct.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But you do the Bruce Springsteen. I Cannot Wait with Jeremy Allen. White is playing Bruce Springsteen.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah. And Jeremy Strong is playing his manager, John Landau. And I played Chuck Plotkin, who was the engineer on Nebraska and a longtime engineer of Bruce. Now, the weird thing about this movie is I just shot an indie feature where I was the lead, and then I was gonna go do the Bruce movie, and I got like, you know, just like five or six lines in the Bruce movie. So I was kind of being. I had a diva head. And I'm like, what am I even doing this for? I'm hardly doing anything in this movie.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, please.

[Billy Fallon]

But, like, I took it a step further. Cause I'm an idiot. I texted the director, and I'm like, is there much for me to do in this movie? And he's like, well, you don't have to do it. We'll do something else. I just thought it would be fun. And of course, I'm like, okay, you're right. Sorry. You're right. You're right. Right. So. But.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But so you.

[Billy Fallon]

I know. I know. I do that a lot. Or will you make a total mistake and lose your. Yeah. But anyway, so the. So plotin. He's a pivotal character. And, like, I had to. We were in the same studio they did Nebraska in. Right. And I just. I really. The. The big acting thing I had to do is look like I knew how to operate that giant mixer. You know where you're listening. It's a lot of this. Here, I'll show you how to do it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well. Oh, my gosh. How did he.

[Billy Fallon]

Amazing, right? Quest.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Unbelievable. That's very convincing. Holy cow.

[Billy Fallon]

But here's the funny thing.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So.

[Billy Fallon]

So Bruce and John, the real Bruce and John are in Video Village. So they're right out there the whole time. They came to the movie scene, they're there every day. So, like in between takes, you can kind of just be like, hey, Bruce, you know, so. But here's the funny thing is that like, so this guy plot I couldn't find a lot of video on, so I didn't know how I was gonna, you know, if I gotta play a guy and he's a real guy, he should know about the real guy, right? So I told Scott Cooper, the director, I said, there's not a lot of video on this guy. And he goes, don't worry about it. Just make it your own and do it. And I'm like, all right. So the first scene where I'm really working those knobs, you know, and I think I have like two lines.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Billy Fallon]

You know, and then Scott goes, cut. And I go out to Video Village and Bruce goes, you got it, You're Chuck. And I'm like, wow, let's rap.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We got that tape.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah. And in my mind I'm like, well, that's a coincidence, you know, I guess I just. He just came up through the board and inhabited me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You got the spirit of. Let's talk about Stick. This is a giant new series with Owen Wilson. Oh, my God. One of the best out there.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah, great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love that guy.

[Billy Fallon]

Great guy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He's funny and he can act and people love him.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah, they do love him. Like we walked down the street in Canada, you know, and I'm a mid level celebrity. But when you were with a big shot, you really feel it because, like, we're walking down, people are like, oh, my God. I'm like, thank you. I'm like, oh, him. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Like, that's the guy who played Chuck Plot. Do this, do this, man. Yeah, but. Oh, wow, it is amazing. I want come back, please, for that film. But let's talk about Stick. It's about a golf. It's a golf series about.

[Billy Fallon]

That's what I'm told. It's. You're in it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You're great. You're the.

[Billy Fallon]

The. Yeah, it's about a golfer who. Who is kind of a washed up guy. He, you know, he was a pro golfer, a real big Golfer. And like 20 years ago, he had a total meltdown at a major tournament and hit a guy and threw his clubs in the water and was kicked out of the. Out of the. The Guild or whatever. And I. And I play Guild.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[Billy Fallon]

You know, the Golf Union.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes, the Golf Union.

[Billy Fallon]

So. And I play his old caddy, you know, who's been there, you know, throughout all this stuff. But you know, the 20 years since he lost the, the gig, you know, he's kind of down on his luck and I, I've had some tragedy in my life and he has had some, you know, stuff in his life. We're, we're just basically a couple of beat up guys at about our age. So it's really good for me and Owen.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do you know how to golf at all? Are you out of.

[Billy Fallon]

Don't push it, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Sorry.

[Billy Fallon]

Sorry. No, I, I, I mean, I, I know about it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Maybe you do a little research.

[Billy Fallon]

I did the research on the golf. You know, I have nothing against golf, but when I read the script, I was like, this is about two guys, you know, one guy who, his whole life he's been supporting this other guy that in a way, you know, emotionally and getting through life, and we're best friends and we've both been through stuff, and that was the primary appeal of it. It's a very sweet and very deep relationship and it's very funny and the whole show is very moving. But, yeah, I did look into golf and I learned how to talk golf a bit. But as far as me playing golf, that has not really happened. And, And I know you play.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I do. I play a little bit.

[Billy Fallon]

Right. And you and my buddy Nate, you play with.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And he's actually really good. I'm terrible. I just go for the goofball.

[Billy Fallon]

That's. Well, yeah, but that's why. How, why at this age. I get it. I get. So let's say you're my age. You never golf before you go out, you hit one good drive, and then for the rest of your life you're chasing that like you, like, right? So, so people are like, well, we should get started. I'm like, I don't have the patience to suck at something just so I can get good enough to get on the, the little drivey thing with the other guys.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So what we're about to. Okay, I'll give you. Yes, that's grapes.

[Billy Fallon]

They did, they did send me clubs, though. And yeah, I'm pretty set. But then for me, I'm sort of like, well, then what? What do you got to set up a time? Is there a place to park over there?

[Jimmy Fallon]

No.

[Billy Fallon]

Is there a guy?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Huh? You shouldn't have to worry about any of this stuff. That's why I love this, and that's why I love you. And that's why everyone should watch Stick on Apple tv, because this is real acting. He has no idea about the sport. This is acting. That's what it is. That's the craft. Marc Maron, everybody. That's how you do it. New episodes of Stick premiere Wednesdays on Apple tv. We'll be right back with more tonight show Stick around. How you doing?

[Julianne Moore]

I'm up, I'm out. I'm moving all up. It's Saturday again. Uh huh. No doubt. Yo, where's my skate? Kia, where's my skate? Where's my join? I mean, where's my date, huh?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest is an Emmy nominated actress who stars in the new series Smoke, which premieres June 27th on Apple TV. Please welcome Jurnee Smollett, everybody. Welcome back. Welcome. Welcome back. Always great to see you. Look, great to see you. How's everybody? How's the fam? How old is your son, by the way?

[Tommy Brennan]

Oh, he's 8. Going on 48.

[Billy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Is he 8 already? He is.

[Tommy Brennan]

Oh my gosh, he's getting so big.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He's growing up.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What's he into?

[Tommy Brennan]

Obsessed with sports and athletes and the rock, you know, he really wants to have a muscular build at 8.

[Jimmy Fallon]

An 8?

[Tommy Brennan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's cute.

[Tommy Brennan]

Well, we work out together now. It's really cute. He came to me and he was like, mommy, I want to have a six pack. Yeah. He said, can you teach me? You know how to do this? So I taught him some ab work on the floor, you know, little gentle stuff. He does it for a few days, comes to me, raises his shirt up and he's like, mommy, look, I got two packs.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Eight years old.

[Tommy Brennan]

Eight years old.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jurnee Smollett]

And I'm like, look at you with.

[Billy Fallon]

Your two packs, man.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You know?

[Tommy Brennan]

And so I make him dinner, some pasta and salmon cakes and broccoli. He goes to take a shower. He comes in devastated. He said, mommy, I lost my packs. You know, I had to explain to him, man, the packs, they come and go.

[Jimmy Fallon]

They come and go, man. They come and go. Yeah. I want to talk about your new series here, the Smoke.

[Jurnee Smollett]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is a big deal. This is a true story.

[Tommy Brennan]

It's inspired by true story.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Inspired by true story.

[Tommy Brennan]

It's true events written by Dennis Lehane, who. I mean, no one writes crime thriller better than. Than Dennis.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's a crazy story.

[Tommy Brennan]

Yeah. It's about an arson investigator played by Taron Edgerton.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He's great.

[Tommy Brennan]

Who is paired with a troubled detective, Moi. And we are assigned to investigate two serial arsonists. And it gets crazy, y' all.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Let me just say, by the way, it gets crazy.

[Jurnee Smollett]

It gets really crazy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's really good. It's really good. Yeah.

[Tommy Brennan]

You know, it's intense and. And there's so many twists and turns. It's so unexpected and shocking. And I loved playing Michelle. I mean, she's. Early on, Dennis Lehane said to me, he said, journey. You know, we all say we want to be happy, and yet we are enticed by the very things that want to destroy us. And that is my character.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. In a nutshell. See, that's why you're good. That's why you do it. That's exactly right. And also, physically, you train for this.

[Tommy Brennan]

I did my trainer, Jeanette Jenkins, and I. I'm playing a former Marine who becomes a detective. And so typically, I'm a little leaner, you know, and so I put on a total of 20 pounds. It was 15 to begin with. And then a total of 20 pounds of muscle in order to just feel a little more, you know, so my presence would feel a little more muscular.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How did you feel when you did all that? All that working out all that and all that? I mean, it's a whole.

[Tommy Brennan]

I felt so incredibly strong and accomplished. Yeah. And it also helped, you know, it helped me transition into Michelle. She's someone who pushes herself really hard and has a lot of childhood trauma that she pours into various outlets working out her job. You know, like, she's running away from a lot of things. And so, yeah, it was really great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You're phenomenal in it, and everyone. You're gonna love it and watch it all the way to the end. It's really good. Jurnee Smollett, Everybody. Smoke premieres June 27th on Apple TV. More tonight, Joe, after the break. Thank you again for that.

[Julianne Moore]

Peace, Mr. Onassis. Drop top rips my joints to go Atlas.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest can be seen at the Sisyphus Comedy club in Minneapolis October 3rd and 4th, making his tonight show debut. Please welcome the very funny Tommy Brennan.

[Marc Maron]

Hey. Thank you. Thank you so much. I am. I'm overthinking the jacket, too, so let's just. I know. Let's move past it as a group. It was. It was an aggressive choice. I just moved to Brooklyn. I'm trying to assimilate. I don't. Yeah, I'm not. I don't. I'm not sure what's happening. I look like a jet ski came to life. But, yeah, we're doing all right. I'm from the Midwest, from a big old family. I'm one of eight kids, which. Yeah, you don't see eight a lot anymore, I think, mainly cause it's the wrong choice probably it is. You can't love eight kids individually. You manage them like a sports franchise. You know, like you love the overall team.

[Billy Fallon]

Sure.

[Marc Maron]

But you'd trade a couple players. Absolutely. We all have these weird individual relationships with our parents in my family. Like me and my dad are in a fun spot. Cause my dad's a doctor and I don't have health insurance, which it rules. Cause anytime he's like, I don't believe in your career, I'm like, dude, dude, same here. Right back at you, doc. That's why I never called. That's out of pocket. Yeah. Unfortunately when I lost my health insurance, my dad kind of became my go to doctor. That's not a great relationship to have with your primary care physician. Me and him have to have little medical check ins. He'll be like, hey, you should drink less. And I'm like, hey, you should hug more. Let's treat the root cause, not the symptom. I don't know. I got a fun family. I have six sisters, which I loved. I loved growing up with girls. I think the main difference, if you grew up with six sisters or six brothers, whatever, it's just your method of fighting. Like my friends who grew up with brothers, they, they fist fought. That's crazy. I mean, you guys have gotten my vibe for two minutes. You know I've never been in a fight, right? Never once in my life have I thrown nor received a punch. I have said come on guys a lot. Come on guys. That's my whole role. If a fight breaks out, guys, come on. We're getting kicked out. Yeah. Cause that's not our training. Me and the sisters, we didn't fight physically. Our training is psychological warfare. You know, we were so mean to each other, but only in small little petty ways. And we're friends now, but that petty little dog is in there barking. My 35 year old sister texted me out of the blue a couple months ago at seven in the morning. This is the text I received from her. She goes, got a little too drunk last night. Almost missed my flight this morning. Really channeling your energy today. That's how I woke up on a Wednesday. Just catching a stray from a loved one. And what sucked was the week before that I had gotten drunk and I missed a flight. She didn't know about that. So she just took a swing in the dark and hit a home run. And I can't do that to her. I can't text her out of the blue like, hey, I met someone who regrets having kids. Thought of you, but that's what they turned me into. They made me this petty little guy. And I'm trying to get better. Cause that doesn't work with women that I date. Yeah, yeah, Women. Surprise. I am. I'm in a new relationship now, and we're fighting a lot. I think we're gonna make it. But she can be kind of petty, which is fine. I just have to push down my six sisters instincts all the time because my training sets me up for failure. Like, we got in a fight recently, and I thought it had already ended. And then she came back into the room like an hour later to restart it, but she didn't want to admit it, so she hit me with this. She looked at me for a second. She goes, do you think I'm mad at you? Objection. Leading the witness. That is such a trap. It also just felt petty. Cause she wouldn't say how she felt. I felt a little cornered. So what I wanted to say. What my sister's training calls for is. I don't know. Do you think the bangs were a good idea? And. Okay, wow. Half of you are mad at me. Okay, I know. I need you to know I didn't say that. That's just what's in the sister's handbook. Do you understand? I'm a trained assassin who's been reassigned as a traffic cop. And every day I'm fighting the urge to use lethal force. Cause you grow up with six sisters, you're going for the head every time. But when you make your girlfriend cry, it just. Or, sorry. When you win, it doesn't feel. It doesn't feel as good, you know? No, I'm kidding. I've never won. You know, I don't even think that's the goal of the fight anymore. Is it to win? I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Personally, I've never won an argument against my girlfriend and then been like, dang, the vibes in here are chill as hell.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow.

[Marc Maron]

Really happy with how that went down. Proud of my own behavior, for sure. And you know what? I think she thinks a lot of the points I made were unique and smart. Thank you guys so much. I'm Tommy Brennan.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How you doing, brother? Killed it, man. Tommy Brennan. See him at the Sisyphus Comedy club in Minneapolis, October 3rd and 4th. We'll be right back, everybody.

[Julianne Moore]

It got something to do but we in the mix and it's handling your beer but love got to do with this.

[Jimmy Fallon]

My thanks to Juliet Moore, Marc Maron, Jurnee Smollett, Tommy Brennan, once again, well done. That was great. And the roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody.

[Billy Fallon]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do it.

[Julianne Moore]

Get on up and just say to your titty Just let.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Me work Got involved Gotta get involved Gotta get involved Gotta do it, do it.

[Billy Fallon]

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