Elon Musk Third Wheels Trump and Bezos | Martin Short, Chloe Fineman | Thursday, December 19

Summary

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Episode Summary
Episode Title: Elon Musk Third Wheels Trump and Bezos | Martin Short, Chloe Fineman
Release Date: December 20, 2024

---

1. Opening Monologue

Timestamp: [00:06 – 05:39]

Jimmy Fallon kicks off the episode with his signature blend of humor and topical commentary. Highlighting the festive season, Jimmy jokes about the modern challenges of Christmas shopping and the transformation of Santa’s sleigh:

Jimmy Fallon [02:00]: "Santa will have his sleigh. And this year it will actually be guided through the sky by Rudolph and eight tiny raindrones. It's nice."

Transitioning to political satire, Jimmy humorously addresses a hypothetical dinner scenario involving President Elect Trump, Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk:

Jimmy Fallon [04:00]: "Elon and Bezos are gonna put Trump down in the middle of the room and see who he goes to first."

He then touches on global issues, mocking misconceptions about North Korean hackers:

Jimmy Fallon [05:00]: "Until now, I thought a North Korean hacker was just what they called Kim Jong Un's barber. Boom. I'm an idiot."

The monologue continues with a nod to current labor movements, referencing an Amazon workers' strike:

Jimmy Fallon [06:00]: "Thousands of Amazon workers went on strike. It's not good. But everyone who waited too long to order a gift is like, sweet. There's my excuse. Friggin Amazon."

Finally, Jimmy segues into movie news, playfully blending popular culture references:

Jimmy Fallon [07:00]: "This weekend, Sonic the Hedgehog 3 hits theaters. Yeah, the movie once again reunites Knuckles and Tails."

2. Special Segment: Bluey Movie with Ben Delaney

Timestamp: [05:39 – 09:03]

Jimmy introduces Ben Delaney, a father of toddlers, to discuss the upcoming Bluey movie. Their conversation delves into the cultural impact of the beloved children's show, with Ben passionately defending its artistic value:

Ben Delaney [04:13]: "Bluey is better than Succession. Bluey is better than the Godfather. Bluey is art."

The dialogue takes a humorous turn as Jimmy teases Ben about his attachment to the show:

Jimmy Fallon [04:34]: "I don't know. Hey, listen to this. I read that North Korean hackers stole $1.3 billion worth of crypto this year."

Their banter highlights the show's emotional depth and its appeal beyond its target audience.

3. Interview with Martin Short

Timestamp: [07:21 – 15:56]

Martin Short joins the show, bringing his renowned comedic flair. The interview is filled with playful teasing and anecdotes about Short’s career and upcoming projects.

Upcoming Hosting Gig: Martin discusses his role as the host of Saturday Night Live (SNL):

Jimmy Fallon [08:15]: "I am so excited because you're hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend."

Martin Short [08:00]: "Now I'm hosting this Saturday? Yes."

SNL History and Experience: Reflecting on his brief stint as an SNL cast member decades ago, Martin shares his nervousness and experiences:

Martin Short [10:23]: "I was terrified every show because I think, you know, I treated it like a special."

He humorously recounts attempting to quit the show and negotiating his contract:

Martin Short [10:29]: "I said, I haven't cashed any checks yet. So he said, if you stay to Christmas, I'll let you out of your contract."

Humorous Banter: The segment is peppered with comedic exchanges, including playful insults and mock confrontations:

Martin Short [12:41]: "You Neanderthal hairline bastard."

Jimmy Fallon [13:09]: "Get that out of my face."

The dynamic showcases the chemistry between Fallon and Short, blending humor with genuine admiration.

Recognition and Achievements: Martin highlights his accolades and relationship with co-stars:

Martin Short [11:32]: "Two time Emmy winner and host of Saturday Night Live."

The interview wraps up with mutual well-wishes and festive greetings, maintaining a light-hearted atmosphere.

4. Interview with Chloe Fineman

Timestamp: [15:56 – 21:34]

Chloe Fineman joins the stage, bringing her comedic prowess and recent achievements to the conversation.

Broadway Debut: Chloe shares her excitement about her forthcoming Broadway debut in the new show All In, set to premiere on December 30th at the Hudson Theater:

Chloe Fineman [17:09]: "There's this amazing short stories that Simon wrote. They're hilarious."

SNL Highlights and Impressions: Discussing her extensive work on SNL, Chloe reminisces about memorable sketches and celebrity interactions:

Chloe Fineman [18:26]: "You did one of the best bits of the whole. This is you doing Jennifer Coolidge with Ariana and Dana Carvey as Jennifer Coolidge."

She fondly recalls meeting celebrities early in her career, including a humorous anecdote about encountering the Hilton sisters:

Chloe Fineman [19:34]: "If you can't tell. It's the early 2000s."

Behind the Scenes with SNL: Chloe delves into the creative process behind her impressions and sketch performances, highlighting collaboration with fellow cast members:

Chloe Fineman [20:48]: "We're all wearing these fake breasts. Not to out myself, but if I have to have more. Here we have these prosthetics that I wear."

Upcoming Performances: The discussion turns to her Broadway role, preparation challenges, and the emotional depth of the scripts she’s working on:

Chloe Fineman [21:07]: "I didn't have dry throat. Can I talk to you for a second?"

Closing Remarks: Chloe expresses her gratitude towards the cast and crew, emphasizing the supportive environment that fosters creativity and excellence.

5. Closing and Sign-Off

Timestamp: [21:34 – 23:18]

Jimmy Fallon wraps up the episode with heartfelt holiday wishes and a nod to upcoming episodes:

Jimmy Fallon [22:00]: "Thank you for watching. Good night, everybody. Happy, happy holiday seasoning."

He also encourages listeners to subscribe to the podcast and watch the show on NBC and Peacock, ensuring fans stay connected for future content.

---

Key Takeaways:

• Festive Humor: Jimmy Fallon’s monologue effectively blends humor with current events, setting a jovial tone for the episode.

• Celebrity Insights: Martin Short and Chloe Fineman provide engaging discussions about their careers, upcoming projects, and experiences in the entertainment industry.

• Comedic Chemistry: The interactions between Jimmy, Martin, and Chloe showcase a dynamic and entertaining rapport, enhancing the overall viewing experience.

• Upcoming Highlights: Viewers are teased with upcoming SNL performances, Broadway debuts, and seasonal film releases, generating anticipation for future content.

Notable Quotes:

• Jimmy Fallon [02:00]: "Santa will have his sleigh. And this year it will actually be guided through the sky by Rudolph and eight tiny raindrones. It's nice."

• Ben Delaney [04:13]: "Bluey is better than Succession. Bluey is better than the Godfather. Bluey is art."

• Martin Short [10:23]: "I was terrified every show because I think, you know, I treated it like a special."

• Chloe Fineman [18:26]: "You did one of the best bits of the whole. This is you doing Jennifer Coolidge with Ariana and Dana Carvey as Jennifer Coolidge."

This episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon offers a delightful mix of humor, celebrity interviews, and behind-the-scenes insights, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio 16 Rockefellers down in the heart of New Jersey City, it's a Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight joined Jimmy is guest Martin Short, Chloe Simon. And featuring the legendary Ruth Bruce. What? And now, here he is. Gimme Ray yourself. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show. Yeah. Well, guys, I'm so excited. There's less than one week till Christmas. That's right. Yeah. We're now at the point where ambulances pull over to let Amazon vans pass by. Yeah, it's almost Christmas, but I'm a little worried Santa might be going through some type of midlife crisis. I mean, check out what he replaced his sleigh with. It's just sad, you know? It's just a little sad. I don't know. I'm just kidding. Santa will have his sleigh. And this year it will actually be guided through the sky by Rudolph and eight tiny raindrones. It's nice. Some political news. Last night, President Elect Trump hosted Jeff Bezos at Mar a Lago. But an hour into the dinner, Elon Musk showed up and sat between them at the table. Even Trump was like, okay, this is actually starting to freak me out. Okay, you gotta get a. You gotta get a friend to settle who he loves more. Elon and Bezos are gonna put Trump down in the middle of the room and see who he goes to first. Here, boy. Here, boy. Come here. No, no, no. Me. He loves me. Come here. That's not fair. You're holding him. Here, boy. Come on. I don't know. Hey, listen to this. I read that North Korean hackers stole $1.3 billion worth of crypto this year. Until now, I thought a North Korean hacker was just what they called Kim Jong Un's barber. Boom. I'm an idiot. I'm the idiot. Switching gears, I saw that today thousands of Amazon workers went on strike. It's not good. But everyone who waited too long to order a gift is like, sweet. There's my excuse. Friggin Amazon. You believe this? I was gonna surprise you. Some movie news. This weekend, Sonic the Hedgehog 3 hits theaters. Yeah, the movie once again reunites Knuckles and Tails. Speaking of reuniting Knuckles and tails, the McRib is back at McDonald's. Come here, boy. Come here, boy. He likes me first. He likes. Meanwhile, Mufasa the Lion King also hits theaters this weekend. Although I think they could have done a better job shortening the title on the marquee Mufa King. I mean, what? Paris, Some more movie news. People are still buzzing about this Upcoming Bluey movie that's in the works. Here to talk about it is Ben Delaney, a father of toddlers. Hi. Hi, Jimmy. Ben. Welcome to the show. So this is big news in your family?

[Ben Delaney]

Oh, you better believe it, Jimmy. Let me tell you something. You have got to watch Bluey.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah, I hear it's great, but my kids are a bit too old for it. No, no, no, no.

[Ben Delaney]

It doesn't matter, Jimmy. See, Bluey isn't just great for a kid's TV show, okay? Bluey is great tv, period.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, sure, but I think if you don't have kids or your kids aren't the right age, then Bluey is better than Succession.

[Ben Delaney]

Bluey is better than the Godfather. Bluey is art.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, I. I think that you're spending too much time with your toddlers. Your tastes might be a little skewed, Jimmy.

[Ben Delaney]

In the episode where Chilli's sister Brandi came to visit and gave Bingo that onesie. And we learned that Brandi hasn't visited in so long because she wanted children of her own. And then it cuts to Brandi playing with Bingo and she's pretending to be a cheetah. I cried. I mean, I cried, Jimmy. I didn't leave my room for days.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What were your children doing?

[Ben Delaney]

I don't care, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

They know where the refrigerator is.

[Ben Delaney]

They can get an applesauce.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm not sure you should admit that.

[Ben Delaney]

I'm not ashamed to share my feelings about the greatest drama of our generation. A show that isn't afraid to tell a story. Like when Bluey goes camping and meets Jean Luc and she's so sad to say goodbye. But then, many years later, they go.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Back to the campsite and Jean Luc is there, remembers her.

[Ben Delaney]

Wait, you watch Bluey?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Of course I watch Bluey. It makes me reflect on the human condition and feel like a child and a grown man all at once.

[Ben Delaney]

Oh, the man.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Blee.

[Martin Short]

Oh, man.

[Ben Delaney]

All right, all right, okay, okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I gotta run.

[Ben Delaney]

I'm actually a brain surgeon. I left mid operation to talk to you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my gosh, a father of toddler. Go back to your left mid operation.

[Ben Delaney]

That's.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. God, it's a nice living room they have in that hospital.

[Ben Delaney]

That's a great hospital.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And finally, the oldest known stone tablet inscribed with the Ten Commandments just sold at auction for over $5 million. Even crazier, they found it in Biden's garage. We have a great show. Give it up for the Roots everybod. Oh, what a show we have for you tonight. He was just nominated for a Golden Globe for his work in Only Murders in the Building. And this weekend, he is hosting Saturday Night Live with musical guest Hozier. Martin Short is here this evening. The best to ever do it. I love it. The best in the biz. She is a talented actress and a very funny comedian who you know from Saturday Night Live. She's now making her Broadway debut in the new show all in beginning December 30th at the Hudson Theater. Chloe Fineman is joining us. Stick around more tonight show. Everybody come on back. Our first guest is nominated for a Golden Globe for his work in the hit series Only Murders in the Building. This weekend, he is hosting Saturday Night Live with musical guest Hozier. Please welcome the one, the only, Martin Short. Martin Short, how are you? Welcome back. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

[Martin Short]

I love this show so much.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you.

[Martin Short]

Let me say, James Luigi Mangione Fallon, you are.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you.

[Martin Short]

A spirit of laughter and Christmas. And I love. And I haven't seen you since the Free Diddy rally.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Is that right? No, I think that was someone. That wasn't me.

[Martin Short]

No. Oh, it was.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, yeah.

[Martin Short]

By the way.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Martin Short]

You smell great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you.

[Martin Short]

No, you do. It's odd for a guy to wear Summer's Eve, but it still. No, you must be very excited because in one month, you're gonna be pardoned for your role in January 6th. So that's.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm looking forward to it.

[Martin Short]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. But really, I will say you look fantastic. Song Zoo.

[Martin Short]

Thank you. Listen, no, I don't need your pity.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, you look fake.

[Martin Short]

No, no. People always say, is it Ozempic? Is it plastic surgery? Is it makeup? And the answer is yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I am so excited because you're hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend.

[Martin Short]

Fifth time.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Fifth time.

[Martin Short]

Fifth time. And Lauren said, if I do well on Saturday, I'm allowed to fire a cast member.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Congratulations.

[Martin Short]

Yeah. You know, everyone's wondering, is Steve Martin gonna show up? And he is not going to. No, no, no. You know, he's way into Christmas. Oh, no, no. He loves. He's already hung his compression stockings with care by the chimney.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Martin Short]

And the lighting guy said upstairs, he said, boy, you look washed out. And I said, well, because normally I stand beside Steve.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, yeah.

[Martin Short]

Who is the palest, most ashen human being in the world. He looks like Anderson Cooper froze to death on New Year's Eve.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay, okay. He's not. Look, he's not here. I know that you're very busy getting ready for Saturday Night Live this weekend. I'm touched that you came down here to talk to me?

[Martin Short]

Oh, first of all, it's. It is an honor to be on your show and an actual contractual obligation. And of course, after, you know, our big plan this Sunday, we're gonna go to New Jersey and shoot down some of those drones.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, I know. I'm looking forward to that. It's SNL's 50th anniversary.

[Martin Short]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Now you actually were a cast member for one season.

[Martin Short]

This is really bizarre. I was a cast member 40 years ago. Look at that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Look at this. Almost to the day.

[Martin Short]

Yeah. There's Julia Louis Dreyfus, there's Harry Shear and Christopher. Christopher Guest, Billy Crystal, and a very young Martin Short.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, no, come on.

[Martin Short]

No, no, no. It was amazing. Forty years ago, I was a cast member. Eddie Murphy was the host of the Christmas show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Really?

[Martin Short]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, what was it? Because you did so many great things, you only were on for one season.

[Martin Short]

I had a one year contract because it was a very weird year. You know, Eddie Murphy had left and Joe Pisco had left and they thought the show was gonna be canceled. So Dick Ebersol, who was running it then, not Loren, called it the George Steinbrenner year. And he hired these guys that had been on television. I'd done sctv. Billy was already a big star and Chris Gaston. Harry had done Spinal Tap that summer, and they hired us for a one year contract.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And did you go in in every show? Were you nervous at all? Were you going what?

[Martin Short]

I was terrified every show because I think, you know, I treated it like a special. In fact, during the fourth show on the Tuesday, I went in to try to quit.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Did you really?

[Martin Short]

Yes, I said. And I being, you know, Canadian and savvy, I said to Dick Ebersol, I said, you know, I haven't cashed any checks yet. So he said, well, you know, if you do have a contract and if you leave now, we'll look bad and you'll look bad, but if you stay to Christmas, I'll let you out of your contract. Cause he later told me, if I made it to Christmas, I would have figured out how to do the show. But it was always nerve wracking to me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You did so many great bits on there.

[Martin Short]

I know, but it was. Did it make you nervous?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Snl? Yes. I watched that new movie, by the way, they just made for the first year. And that made me nervous watching the movie that I wasn't even in or there that year.

[Martin Short]

But I'm like, but it is amazing.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The pressure of that show. Three years later, and now you're hosting this Saturday.

[Martin Short]

Now I'm hosting this Saturday? Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You're about to start season five of Only Murders in the Building.

[Martin Short]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And congratulations on four Golden Globe nominations for us. What I'm talking about. Thank you. That's exactly. I know.

[Martin Short]

Selena's nominated, Steve's nominated, and we love each other. It's so much. You know, Selena is so protective of Steve. You know, sometimes I look over and he's sitting there, and she's just holding a mirror under his nose to see if everything's okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, that's so thoughtful of her.

[Martin Short]

But we would put an airtag on Steve now in case he wanders off. He does, we bring him back.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You can have a little water if you want.

[Martin Short]

What'd you say?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I said no. I thought you were dry throat. You could have a little water.

[Martin Short]

I didn't have dry throat. Can I talk to you for a second?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, sure.

[Martin Short]

Yeah. You know what? Maybe let's have a quick talk behind the curtain. Ok. Yeah, ok. Let's just do that. Ok. That'd be fun.

[Jimmy Fallon]

All right.

[Martin Short]

And maybe turn the mics off. Can we turn the mics off? Thanks. Thank you. Just for a second. I just want to check something here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, no problem.

[Martin Short]

How do you go back here? Okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Martin Short]

All right.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What's. What's going on?

[Martin Short]

Dude, what was that comment about the water all about?

[Jimmy Fallon]

What are you talking about?

[Martin Short]

You know exactly what I mean. If I need a drink. You're trying to bring up my drinking problem, aren't you?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I. I didn't know you had a drinking problem.

[Martin Short]

Well, I got news for you, Fallon. I haven't had a sip of booze in 10 years.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, I don't think that's been years, right? More like 10 minutes.

[Martin Short]

Yeah. Hey, why don't you come closer? I want to tell you something.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, yeah? What's that? Never, ever, ever, ever disrespect me again.

[Martin Short]

You Neanderthal hairline bastard.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What's wrong with my hairline?

[Martin Short]

What's wrong with your hairline? Here's a hand mirror. Take a glance.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Get that out of my face. Okay.

[Martin Short]

That was fun. Got that figured out.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Sorry about that, guys. We just had to. We had to just adjust our ties. All better now.

[Martin Short]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Anyway, I'm so excited for you to host snl. Are you nervous? Nervous?

[Martin Short]

No. No, no, no. You know what? To me, it comes back very quickly. It's kind of, I don't know, like riding a bike.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Can I talk to you real quick behind the curtain? Sure.

[Martin Short]

By all Means cut her mice.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Cut her mic behind the curtain. What the hell was that all about?

[Martin Short]

What was the what all about?

[Jimmy Fallon]

The little comment about riding a bike. You know, I never learned how to ride a bike and now you're rubbing it in my face.

[Martin Short]

Well, maybe if you had the nuts to try, but you have the intellect of a three year old. Actor, host, musician. Is there anything you can do?

[Jimmy Fallon]

You son of a bitch.

[Martin Short]

Oh, don't you ever punch me. Oh, look, a beautiful vase. Maybe I should smash it over your stupid head.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That wasn't a vase. That was an urn. It was my grandmother's ashes.

[Martin Short]

That's. Oh, the mics are working now.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, the mics are back on.

[Martin Short]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Anyway, any. Any. Any plans for the holiday? Kurt, let's go.

[Martin Short]

Nah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Absolutely.

[Martin Short]

I'm ready.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'd love to talk to you in the cartoon.

[Martin Short]

I'd love to talk to you, black haired.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You want to know my holiday?

[Martin Short]

You want to know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, listen, I got something to say to you. You know what?

[Martin Short]

You want to know my holiday plans? Yeah, I want to know your holidays.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'll tell you my holiday plans. Are you the kids?

[Martin Short]

Kick your stupid Irish ass.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh. Ow.

[Martin Short]

Ow, Ow.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Get off of me. Get off. Ow. Ow. Not the. Not the pogo. Not the pogo stitch. Not the pogo Stitch. I hope you're wearing your cup, douche. Ow. Ow, Ow. All right, all right, Fine. All right.

[Martin Short]

Okay, fine.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Fine. I said fine.

[Martin Short]

And I said fine as well.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Let's just finish the interview. Okay, well, fine. Okay, okay. All right. Okay. All right. Looks like we're out of time. Oh, Give it up for the most talented man on the face of the earth. Tony winner.

[Martin Short]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Two time Emmy winner and host of Saturday Night Live. Yeah. You've gotten shorts. Two time Canadian Screen Award. Shut up. You shut up. No, you. Oh, no. You're a Martin Short. I'm a stupid. Friends for us, our next guest is a very talented actress and comedian who you know from Saturday Night Live. She's also making her Broadway debut in the new show all in beginning December 30th at the Hudson Theater. Everyone, please welcome Chloe Feynman. Look at that. Oh, my goodness. They love you. Come on. They love you. We love you. Welcome back.

[Martin Short]

Happy holidays.

[Chloe Fineman]

We all cleaned up so fast.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, I got in a little fight with Marty.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yes, you did.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But exciting show this weekend. Martin Short.

[Chloe Fineman]

I know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hozier. Are you excited?

[Chloe Fineman]

I'm so excited.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is the last episode of the year. Yeah, usually it's a big show in.

[Chloe Fineman]

Snl, the big Christmas shoes.

[Martin Short]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's a lot of stuff. Yes. You've appeared, what, over 100.

[Chloe Fineman]

Have I.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes, I want to say over 100 episodes of Siren Life.

[Chloe Fineman]

Really?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Wow. I did a little research. Your 100th was Ariana Grande and Stevie Nicks.

[Chloe Fineman]

Was it really?

[Jimmy Fallon]

That was your 100th episode? Yeah. You did. That's. You did one of the best bits of the whole. This is you doing Jennifer Coolidge with Ariana and Dana Carvey as Jennifer Coolidge.

[Chloe Fineman]

That was a crazy one because, you know, on SNL on Tuesday, we pitched to the host, but usually it's kind of a joking thing. And the Timothee Chalamet lookalike contest had just happened, so I was like, oh, maybe it's like a sound alike Coolidge, like, you know, just as a throwaway. And then Ariana Grande.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. I thought for a second I would call her Ari.

[Chloe Fineman]

I was.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And then you said the full name.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yeah, Ari. Ariana Grande. She was like, we're doing it. And it's because she was familiar with my impression on your show, and I've seen her do it on your show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The Crusher, Jennifer Coolidge.

[Chloe Fineman]

So I wanted to thank you for.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, really? And then how'd you get Dana in there?

[Chloe Fineman]

I was like, hey, you want to do drag?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yeah. He was down.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He just came.

[Chloe Fineman]

He just came. And we're all wearing these fake breasts. Not to out myself, but if I have to have more. Here we have these prosthetics that I wear. I call them my Sydney Sweeneys. I need a little help. So I'm wearing them. Dana has on Sydney Sweeneys and Ariana as well.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So you had a special guest come by your office this past week? I did, and I thought it was very cool. Can you tell everyone who was.

[Chloe Fineman]

Well, yeah, I just realized he was with Marty in the cast.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, he was.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yeah. I was by my dressing room and someone was lurking, and I was like, hi, Billy Crystal.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, Billy Crystal was wandering the halls.

[Chloe Fineman]

He was wandering the halls because it turns out he used to have my dressing room. And he was having a homecoming and all the nostalgia and the emotions. And then I'm hacky. And I was like, will you sign my wall?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, this wasn't the first, obviously, celebrities you've been meeting. Now on Saturday Night Live, you've met celebrities early on in your career, actually, even before. Here's one of you meeting Paris Hilton. Where were you and where was this? Oh, my God, is that Nikki Hilton as well?

[Chloe Fineman]

Yes, yes, that is the. If you can't tell. It's the early 2000s.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Chloe Fineman]

I'm not from LA, so me and my best friend Mimi flew to Las Vegas for an optometry convention. How old were you? I was 13 years old. And Mimi's mom, Rochelle shouts to. Rochelle was like, I know what would be fun for 13 year olds. An optometry convention.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Chloe Fineman]

And it turned out the Hilton sisters were there. And, you know, I went up and was like, that's hot.

[Martin Short]

And then.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yeah, you know, Loves it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Can I ask you about all in? You're on Broadway. You're making your Broadway debut. Congratulations on this. You're gonna be in a playbill. I mean, you're on.

[Chloe Fineman]

And you too, Fred.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I know. I'm nervous.

[Chloe Fineman]

I wanna know what is this your debut as well?

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's my Broadway debut. I'm going in. I know. I'm excited. I'm going in. You're starting? I'm starting January 28th.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yes. I start December 30th.

[Jimmy Fallon]

December 30th. Are you saying will you be gone by the time I get there?

[Chloe Fineman]

Who knows? Maybe I'll never want to leave.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes. If me and you, we work great together.

[Chloe Fineman]

We really do.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But this is Simon Rich. These are all stories. Short story by Simon Rich.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yeah, There are these amazing short stories that Simon wrote. They're hilarious. Truly yesterday, because I was like, oh, God, I really got to prepare for this. And I was working with a woman I've worked with since I was in college. Her name's Coley Calhoun. She's an amazing voice teacher. And she was like, let's just read it aloud. And I was reading it aloud. And obviously I'm sleep deprived, but full sobbing. Cause it's so sweet. Yes. Hopefully I won't do it on Broadway. Cause it's really annoying to just cry through stuff.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Really?

[Chloe Fineman]

Yeah, it's just. It's so beautiful.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love Simon Rich. He's fantastic.

[Chloe Fineman]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm so excited to be doing my debut with you on Broadway. Go to allinbroadway.com you want tickets for Chloe Simon? That's how you do it. Catch her on SNL this weekend. We'll be right back, everybody. Come on. My name is Martin Shore. Holy fireman and the roo scumman. Thank you for watching. Good night, everybody. Happy, happy holiday seasoning. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Ben Delaney]

Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Tonight show, starring Jimmy Fallon. Weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.