Jimmy Reacts to Kimmel's Return After Disney Suspension | The Cast of One Battle After Another, Kate McKinnon, Ian Lara | Tuesday, September 23

Summary

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The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Episode: Jimmy Reacts to Kimmel's Return After Disney Suspension | The Cast of One Battle After Another, Kate McKinnon, Ian Lara
Air Date: September 24, 2025

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Episode Overview

This high-energy episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon features playful political and pop culture commentary, a star-packed conversation about the buzzy new film "One Battle After Another", an engaging appearance by comedian Kate McKinnon, and standup from Ian Lara. Fallon maintains his signature humor throughout with sharp monologue zingers, spirited banter with guests, and a touch of interactive audience fun.

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Main Segments & Highlights

1. Jimmy's Monologue: UN Week Jabs, Trump Zingers, and Late-Night In-Jokes

Timestamps: 01:05 – 05:04

• Jimmy Fallon opens with a wink at recent controversies, referencing another late-night host:

  "If you're tuning in to see what I'll say about my suspension the last couple days, again, you're watching the wrong Jimmy, Dad. The other Jimmy, Dad." (01:05)

• The United Nations General Assembly, President Trump's speech, and malfunctioning teleprompters are ripe for comic turns.
• Notable recurring gag: testing Trump's geopolitical knowledge, with surreal answers delivered in a call-and-response with his “Secret Service Agent”.
  • Sample exchanges:
    • "Sweden." "Alf loves Krispy Kreme."
    • "Paraguay." "Santa Claus's penis."
• Running gags about Swedish diplomats and spoofed diplomatic mishaps.
• Zings about current TV events (Golden Bachelor, Catfish getting cancelled).
• Fallon promotes his new show, "On Brand", through a mock-tutorial aimed at his dad for how to record or stream the show, complete with faux exasperation and classic Fallon family bits.

  "I'm not talking to you specifically, dad, but you can now, dad, use your remote control..." (06:28)

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2. Interview: The Cast of "One Battle After Another"

Timestamps: 08:29 – 15:29
Guests: Leonardo DiCaprio, Teyana Taylor, Regina Hall, Benicio Del Toro, Kate McKinnon

Key Discussion Points:

• The Theatrical Experience
  • DiCaprio: Film was "specifically designed for the theatrical experience" in VistaVision.

    "People are always hungry for this kind of original material. And this is the film to experience in a theater with people." – Leonardo DiCaprio, 09:02

• Spielberg's Endorsement
  • Fallon notes Spielberg saw it three times; panel discusses a breathtaking, wave-like car chase sequence.
• Acting and Improvisation
  • McKinnon: On action chaos—

    "It's not in the... No, it said chaos. Tbd." (Kate McKinnon, 10:08)

  • Movie's blend of humor, action, memorable score, and standout moments from co-star Sean Penn.
• Cast Chemistry & Origins
  • Kate McKinnon and Teyana Taylor recall their first meeting at a Diana Ross party, colorfully recounting nerves and playful interaction.

    "We just started chewing his invisible gum, and we never stopped." – Kate McKinnon, 11:36

• Character Building
  • Benicio Del Toro on getting offered his role:

    "Paul calls you up, and you already say yes... He sent me a picture of a poster of a tiger dressed in judo kimono. And that's my character." (12:56)

  • Lead character is described as a washed-up revolutionary pulled into espionage, laced with comedy and "all the wrong decisions." (DiCaprio, 14:04)
• Find the Heart: Casting Chase Infinity
  • DiCaprio and McKinnon reveal the intense casting process for the actress who grounds the film; she was "the last girl we read with."

    "We knew she was the heart and soul of the movie. And if you didn't care about getting this girl back, the whole movie was gonna fall on its face." – DiCaprio, 14:41

• Wrapping the Segment
  • DiCaprio sums up:

    "It's a very topical espionage thriller with a hell of a lot of comedy... there's satire in it, and it's a lot of fun and a great cast." (15:10)

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3. Kate McKinnon Interview: Books, SNL Legends, and Gardening Games

Timestamps: 15:42 – 24:06

• Book Launch and SNL Memories
  • McKinnon debuts her new kids' book "Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science: Secrets of the Purple Pearl" (on sale September 30th).
  • Fallon praises her iconic "Close Encounter" SNL sketch and nervously calling Meryl Streep to ask her to join:

    "She was so nice, and she was like, I'm excited. I'll do it. I have a wig that I think would work. And I was like, babe, I think they'll get your wig." – Kate McKinnon, 18:05

• Writing for Kids and Meeting Fans
  • McKinnon reflects on connecting with kids who share animal facts and brings up her own naturalist childhood, leading to a hilarious anecdote:

    "One time I brought home what I took to be a piece of white seaweed, and I was like, mom, look at it. It's white seaweed. And she was like, that is a condom." (19:58)

• Garden Show-and-Tell
  • Both Fallon and McKinnon compare garden produce, leading to playful banter about naming vegetables:

    "This tomato I named... This is Hemorrhoid Harry." – McKinnon, 21:54 "This zucchini struck me as, like, a hard puritan woman named, like, you think so, Abigail Good Squash..." (22:00)

  • McKinnon explains lacto-fermented pickles (“the acid is produced from the butts of the bacteria that are in there,” 22:52).
• Audience Game: Find the Eggplant
  • McKinnon reveals she hid mini eggplants under random audience seats, and winners receive... the eggplant.

    "The prize is the eggplant itself." (24:02)

  • Fallon is delighted:

    "This is my favorite thing I've ever seen." – Fallon, 23:53

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4. Stand-Up: Ian Lara

Timestamps: 24:48 – 30:40

• Men vs. Women Friendships
  • Lara opens with observations on the distinct differences between male and female friendships and group outings.

    "Men can't really do that. Like, we can hang out, but we gotta be strategic with the planning..." (25:16)

  • Explores the longevity and superficiality of male friendships with biting humor.

    "Men friendships are stronger than women friendships. Because we don't bother to get to know each other." (26:25)

  • Crowd-pleasing act-out about men not knowing each other’s birthdays, while women have “ex best friends” over trivial things.

    "No man has an ex best friend. I never been at the gym with one of my boys and he's like, bro, we gotta get outta here. My ex just walked in... No, the dude with the headband." (28:00)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Fallon on Trump at the UN:

  "Trump talked for an hour and at one point he said that the European countries were going to hell. After listening to a ramble for 45 minutes, European leaders were like, I feel like we're already there." (01:41)

• McKinnon recounting her childhood “white seaweed”:

  "And she was like, that is a condom." (20:08)

• On lacto-fermentation:

  "The acid is produced from the butts of the bacteria that are in there." – McKinnon, 22:52

• Ian Lara’s summary of male friendship:

  "30 years we've been best friends. I don't know nothing about him. He don't know nothing about me. And we're tight. It’s my brother. I’m joking. I know his favorite teams. I’m not a monster." (29:44)

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Episode Structure

• [01:05 – 05:04]: Jimmy’s monologue: riffing on the UN, Trump, recent TV happenings
• [08:29 – 15:29]: "One Battle After Another" cast interview: film production, cast stories, character development, laughter
• [15:42 – 24:06]: Kate McKinnon interview: SNL memories, writing, vegetable names, audience game
• [24:48 – 30:40]: Ian Lara stand-up: male/female friendship differences, audience connection
• [31:22 – End]: Credits and thanks

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode delivers classic Tonight Show charm: playful, quick-witted, and deeply interactive. Fallon's chemistry with guests shines through, balancing star-studded Hollywood discussion with unique personal insights and games. The show is fast-paced and irreverent, with heartwarming undercurrents—particularly in McKinnon’s segments—and uproarious standup from Lara to close.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a showcase of Fallon’s multi-faceted late-night format. Expect sharp punchlines, celebrity banter full of inside stories, and a blend of old-fashioned showmanship and modern quirks. Skip to your favorite celebrity or catch the monologue for current-events laughs—it’s accessible, lively late-night TV at its best.

Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio 6B in Rockefeller center in the heart of New York City, it's the Tonight show. Starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight joins Jimmy and his guest, the cast of one battle after another. Kate McKinnon, comedian Ian Lara. And featuring the legendary Ruth Cruz. 2189 still here. And now here he is. Thank you very. Thank you.

Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show. And if you're tuning in to see what I'll say about my suspension the last couple days, again, you're watching the wrong Jimmy Dad. The other Jimmy Dad. Well, guys, right here in New York City, hundreds of world leaders are in town for the United Nations General Assembly. What an exciting time. Tonight's entire audience is made up of Swedish diplomats. This is so exciting. I'm very excited about that. Welcome, welcome. That's what they do in Sweden. Wow. Meanwhile, this morning, President Trump delivered a speech at the un and the moment he started talking, the teleprompter malfunctioned. You could tell Trump had to wing it because he started by saying, thank you for having me at the International House of Pancakes. Yeah. Trump talked for an hour and at one point he said that the European countries were going to hell. After listening to a ramble for 45 minutes, European leaders were like, I feel like we're already there. Yeah. Trump attacked all the European countries. And then he said, but it's nothing a new private plane couldn't fix.

Just saying, I don't know.

Qatar did it. And besides the teleprompter, Trump was annoyed because when he arrived at the un, he got on an escalator that immediately stopped working. Melania was next to him on the escalator. Like, £239, my ass.

Walk up the stairs, bud.

Meanwhile, in his speech, Trump also said that he should win the Nobel Prize. To be honest, he might actually get one in physics for somehow walking up the escalator. Trump also slammed climate change as the greatest con job ever. He was like, it's almost right up there with Trump University very close. After his address, Trump hosted a reception with more than 100 world leaders. We actually have audio of him preparing for the reception. Take a listen to this.

[Secret Service Agent]

All right, Mr. President, we've been working on this for months. I'll name a country, you tell me the leader.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm about to smash it.

[Secret Service Agent]

Alright, here we go. Sweden.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Alf loves Krispy Kreme.

[Secret Service Agent]

No. Poland.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Donald Trump.

[Secret Service Agent]

No. East Timor.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Banana goes meow.

[Secret Service Agent]

No. Paraguay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Santa Claus's penis.

[Secret Service Agent]

No. The Marshall Islands.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hold my Heiney.

[Secret Service Agent]

No.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Turkmenistan. Sardine.

[Secret Service Agent]

Barbecue no. The Netherlands.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Dick Schoof.

[Secret Service Agent]

No, wait.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes. That's right. Dick Schoof.

Yay.

I'm excited.

You got that one, right. Got Dick Schuf, right? The shoof. Dick Schoof.

The shoof. The shoof. The shoof is on fire.

We don't own that water. Let the club burn.

[Audience Member / Backstage Voice]

Burn, Dick Schoof.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Dick Schoof. You guys see this? Ahead of the General Assembly. The Secret Service stopped an attack that would have shut down a cell phone service in New York City. Yeah, all cell phone service was almost lost. Or as T Mobile calls it, Tuesday. Yeah, we're good. We'll get him tomorrow. Switching gears to some TV news. Tomorrow night is the season premiere of the Golden Bachelor. Yes, the Golden Bachelor. And this season, the women fall in love with the limo driver because he can still drive at night.

Wow.

Finally. I saw that MTV has canceled the reality show Catfish after nine seasons. Yeah. And this is upsetting. After nine seasons, it turns out the show wasn't even real.

We have a great show. Give it up for the Roots. Right up.

[Audience Member / Backstage Voice]

Out.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What a show we have for you. Tonight.

They star in the highly anticipated new movie One Battle After Another, which is in theaters and IMAX. This Friday, we're talking to Leonardo DiCaprio.

Teyana Taylor, Regina hall, and Benicio Del Toro.

Great movie.

[Kate McKinnon]

Great movie.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And then one of my favorites, you know her from Saturday Night Live. Her new book, the Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young ladies of Mad Science, Secrets of the Purple Pearl is on sale September 30th.

Kate McKinnon is joining us this evening.

Love, McCate. Yep, me too. And we got great standup comedy from Ian Lara.

Coming back to the show.

I. I had a really fun morning today. I got to ring the opening bell at NASDAQ here in New York City. Look at that. I am promoting my new show on NBC. It's called On Brand. It debuts this Tuesday. This is with Bozma Tech Banking. Tuesdays and Fridays. It is a is a business reality competition show. It's like Shark Tank meets the Apprentice meets Project Runway. Ten contestants from all walks of life have the opportunity to pitch a marketing campaign to a giant brand. So every week there's a different brand and the winner moves on to the next week. It's airing every Tuesday and Friday. And it's a big deal for us because today on Brand is actually added to all the channel guides. So people. And I'm not talking to you specifically, dad, but you can now, dad, use your remote control and go to the guide screen and type in on brand and record it, dad, so that you have it for next Tuesday and next Friday. Because every episode is a brand new episode. Tuesday is brand new. Friday's brand new. I actually wanted to even show this too. If you have your phone and you got your apps, you want to go to Peacock, right? You go Peacock, right? Yep. You type in on brand. There it is right there. You go to it. Look at this trailer up there. Blink and then you add. What does it say? My stuff. You press that now. That's it. You're loaded. You can now it records it. Wow, dad. It records it for you right there. Or if you go to. You got YouTube TV. Sure. YouTube TV. Here you go. YouTube TV. You type in on brand. Right there on brand. And just press the plus sign. Uh huh. That's it. That's it. Now you're recording it. That's the way it works.

Wow.

We're in the guide. We're in the guide. If you search for us. It's super fun show. It's great. I hope you love it. We're on right after the Voice. Tuesday and Friday. There's a brand new show at 8pm I'm happy and thankful. I hope you all love it on Brand. Check it out. This Tuesday and Friday.

Stick around. We'll be right back with Leonardo DiCaprio and the cast of One Battle After Another.

[Audience Member / Backstage Voice]

Legendary production, y'.

[Jimmy Fallon]

All.

Welcome back to the Tonight Show. We are here at the Regal Theater, Union Square in New York City. And joining me right now is the cast of the highly anticipated new movie One Battle After Another, which is in theaters in IMAX this Friday. Please welcome Leonardo DiCaprio, Teyana Taylor, Regina hall and Benicio Del Toro. Welcome. I love that we're doing it in the theater because I think this is a movie that you have to see in a theater. It was one of the most insane, greatest movies I've ever seen.

[Ian Lara]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So fun. Why do you think people need to see this in a theater?

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

I think it's an original concept that Paul specifically designed for the theatrical experience. It's shot in VistaVision. From the locations to the music. I mean, people are always sort of hungry for this kind of original material. And this is the film to experience in a theater with people. You know, it's specifically designed for that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I read somewhere that Spielberg got a screening of it and then saw it three times. Yeah, I can't wait to go back and see it again. There's a scene at the end that's a chase It's a car chase through these hills that go up and down. And I was thinking about Spielberg kind of probably loved it because it's almost like waves.

[Kate McKinnon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's almost like an ocean.

[Ian Lara]

Water.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You can't see what's ahead of you. You can't see if there's a shark. You don't know. And then when it comes down, you go, oh, they're catching up. There's someone there. And then it goes up and you're hidden again.

[Kate McKinnon]

And the music. The score.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, the music. Drawing.

[Kate McKinnon]

That's what really neat.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I mean, there's so much action in. Do you know that when you're going in the scene, when you're in the car and they go. Yeah, this is gonna. You just take a machine gun, shoot out the window, or you're gonna be yelling or this is gonna be going off. Is that all scripted?

[Kate McKinnon]

It's not in the. No, it said chaos. Tbd.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's chaos.

[Kate McKinnon]

Tbd.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Tbd. To be determined. It is. It's humor in there as well. But it's got every single thing. The most beautiful scenes and memorable scenes. You know, Sean Penn is on a different level and doing this character that is gonna be talked about. You who? I know. I'm frightened. You scared me. But those scenes were frightening you, too, Regina.

[Kate McKinnon]

I'm like, I was sweet.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, but you were in the mix.

[Kate McKinnon]

You feel me? I mean, I was, but she always made it go left like we were in it. We agreed by the drama.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

Yes, Cardi.

[Kate McKinnon]

Perfect.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Drama by the drama. Exactly, Carde.

[Kate McKinnon]

The drama.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It was.

[Kate McKinnon]

So we have to ask Cardi.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I knew the drama. I knew the drama, but there's so much action and stuff like that in the movie. But at the end, you're going there, going like, oh, yeah. I just hope that this family gets to see each other again. Did you guys know each other before this?

[Kate McKinnon]

Yep.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Where'd you first meet?

[Kate McKinnon]

We met at a Diana Ross party.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No.

[Kate McKinnon]

Yeah. This was, like, years ago and I had, like, a long, luxurious wig.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You did.

[Kate McKinnon]

And Diana was performing. Yeah. I mean, it was Diana. Diana's part. Yeah. It's crazy. Cause I get so nervous with Ms. Diana. Actually, she was at his recent birthday. I don't wanna say the age. I don't know if I'm allowed to say the age, but she was at his most recent birthday, let's say the age.

Cbd. Cbd.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Right. Cbd.

[Kate McKinnon]

To be determined. And I remember he told me she was gonna be there, and I changed my whole outfit. I said, oh, Ms. Diana. Oh, you did? Yeah. So I get to do one when I know I'm gonna meet her. That when we first met. That's a full circle moment. Cause when we first met, it was at Ms. Diana's birthday, and I had on this Diana Ross kind of dress, and I had the hair, and I was, like, living. When she was performing, I might have hit him with my hair. I either bumped him or, like, hit him with the hair. And I turned around, he was like. I was like. And we just started chewing his invisible gum, and we never stopped. Like, to this day, we still do it. Wait, did you speak or did you just look and chew? I mean, we eventually spoke. We did. Eventually. That's your first encounter with Leonardo DiCaprio, as funny as it was. And it's like, I already played so much.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Did you know that Teiana was gonna be cast in this?

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

Paul was talking about it, and I was like, okay, she's gonna bring the heat. You know, this character needed to have an element of improvisation to it and craziness and wildness.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. You don't know where you're gonna go.

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

She's incredible in this movie.

[Kate McKinnon]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Incredible. Benica, you get. Have you worked with Paul Thomas Anderson?

[Benicio Del Toro]

I worked with Paul Inherent Vice. I just did one day in that film.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How did he pitch you, the character for this movie?

[Benicio Del Toro]

Well, he called me up, and Paul calls you up, and you already say yes. So I said, tell me about the character. He sent me a picture of a poster of a tiger dressed in judo kimono. And that's my character. And I think, you know, I kind of, like, understood it in a way. You know, a tiger, you know, is. You know, he kind of stays cool under heat, you know, A cartoon tiger.

[Jimmy Fallon]

A real tiger. No, a real.

[Benicio Del Toro]

It looked like a real tiger. Looked like a real tiger with a kimono. But I mean, you know, it wasn't that. It was actually a part of the set decoration. It was on the dojo of my character.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Benicio Del Toro]

You know that my character works at.

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

One of the coolest characters in the history of cinema.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I agree with you. Like, we're just going, that's the best friend that you want to have. A best friend is Sergio.

[Benicio Del Toro]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And you are not an action star in this movie. You are a guy who does not know how to jump from building. No.

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

Does not.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But that's what makes it perfect. You're like, you need someone who's going to say. And you go, I have no idea where anything's going to go.

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

I just love that Paul Set up this idea of this revolutionary. Sixteen years later raising a daughter that's paranoid. What does he do? He sits home and he smokes pot and he watches old revolutionary movies. And then he's pushed into this political espionage action thriller that he doesn't have any of the answers for. And he makes all the wrong decisions and he doesn't land any of the stunts. And I was like, wow, that's a pretty original concept.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The casting was unbelievable. Chase infinity. Holy mackerel. Her life is gonna change. Where did she come from? This is her first big deal.

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

I mean, you were a part of that process. It was like many, many, many months of not. It wasn't an audition. It was like chemistry reads, working through the characters because we knew she was the heart and soul of the movie. And if you didn't care about getting this girl back, the whole movie was gonna fall on its face. So he found this gem of an actress.

[Kate McKinnon]

She was actually the last girl we read with. And the other ones were good, but.

[Jimmy Fallon]

She came in, just had something.

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

She's an amazing talent. She's gonna have an amazing future.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. How do we set up the movie for everybody?

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

I'd say it's a very topical.

[Kate McKinnon]

Very topical.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yep.

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

Espionage thriller with a hell of a lot of comedy. I mean, there's satire in it, and it's a lot of fun and a great cast.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes. The greatest.

Bravo. Thank you guys so much for doing this. Congratulations again. I appreciate. How about leaving her? Gonna watch it right now. Turn it on. Turn it on.

[Kate McKinnon]

Turn it on.

[Audience Member / Backstage Voice]

I'm a legend in my own time. Look at y'.

[Jimmy Fallon]

All.

[Audience Member / Backstage Voice]

Just a legend in your own mind.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest is a two time.

Emmy winner who you know from Saturday Night Live. She's also a bestselling author. Her new book, the Millicent School of Etiquette for young ladies of Mad Science, Secrets of the Purple Pearl is on sale September 30th. Everyone, please welcome Kate McKinnon.

Daniel Nation. They love the Kate McKinnon. We love the Kate McKinnon.

Welcome back to the show. Looking phenomenal as always.

[Kate McKinnon]

But it's good to see you. It's good to see all of you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Come on.

Now. I want to get into this. I want to get into your new book. Congratulations, by the way.

[Kate McKinnon]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Beyond Beyond. Congrats. It's so good. But last time I saw you, I always love seeing you perform. You're one of my favorite performers to watch.

[Kate McKinnon]

Is it? Likewise, I'm sure.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Saturday night live, the 50th anniversary Emmy Award winning Saturday Night Live 50th anniversary. You did your. Your close encounter sketch, the woman who gets abducted by alien. And yeah, here it was. And it cried. It's Woody Harrelson, Pedro Pascal, and Meryl Streep.

[Kate McKinnon]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And man, oh, man, was it funny and awesome. And it was live. And I'm like, how are you doing this? And here's what I do love about you, because I know you, and you go, hey, Kate. And you're like, hey. And you're just like, there. And then you get in the zone right before the camera comes on, and then you're just. Your legs go out, and then you get into character, and I go, get ready, man. She's gonna hit some home runs and you just hit homers. You're the best.

[Kate McKinnon]

Thanks.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We were crying, laughing in the. In the crowd. Are you nervous next to Meryl Streep or Pedro or. Yeah, yeah.

[Kate McKinnon]

Well, they were like, who would you want to be in the sketch with you? And I was like, I don't know. Meryl Streep.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Kate McKinnon]

And then a few days later, they called and they were like, okay, so Meryl is in, and we need you to. Can you call Meryl and just say thank you and tell her a little bit about the sketch? And I was like, okay, I'll call Meryl Streep. So I like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Kate McKinnon]

My God, would you call Meryl Streep?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Kate McKinnon]

And she was so nice, and she was like, I'm excited. I'll do it. I have a wig that I think would work. And I was like, babe, I think they'll get your wig.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah.

You're Meryl Streep.

[Kate McKinnon]

Meryl Streep, babe.

[Jimmy Fallon]

She crushed the whole thing. It was fantastic. You also did two other sketches. I go, man, oh, man, you're just unstoppable, man. It's so fun watching. Yeah. Always great to see you. Congrats on the book. This is the second number two in the series.

[Kate McKinnon]

It is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You were here for the first one?

[Kate McKinnon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Last year it was a bestseller for 19 weeks, buddy.

Come on. Come on. Isn't this fun? No. Isn't it? No, it's fantastic.

It's so clever and it's so well written. These books are for kids. It's like 8 to 12 years old, right?

[Kate McKinnon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Have you heard from kids at all and have they come up to you and.

[Kate McKinnon]

I've heard. I got to. Well, I got to go on a. Like, a book tour last year with the You. You've written.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's the best.

[Kate McKinnon]

You.

You. You know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, but I've not written a real book.

[Kate McKinnon]

Well, no, that. Stop that now.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You stop now.

You stop that.

[Kate McKinnon]

You are good enough.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You're good enough.

[Kate McKinnon]

You're amazing. You amaze me. Anyway, I got to go meet some kids, which is the best place.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my God.

[Kate McKinnon]

Kids, man. They know their animal facts, and they want to talk about them. Those kids want to tell you their animal facts.

[Ian Lara]

Facts.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes. Were you like that as a kid? Were you just interested in interesting.

[Kate McKinnon]

I loved the beach and sea creatures and, like, crud and just bringing home, like, dead crabs and, like, dead clams.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Like an adventurer.

[Kate McKinnon]

Yes. I just loved collecting little things. This one time I brought home from the beach, and my mom would let me, like, bring home dead crabs and, like, put them in the tub. Cause she was that good.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Good mom.

[Kate McKinnon]

One time I brought home what I took to be a piece of white seaweed, and I was like, mom, look at it. It's white seaweed. And she was like, that is a condom.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay. And I was like, is that a. You're like, what is that? Seaweed.

[Kate McKinnon]

Coolest type of seaweed.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Condom Milk to self.

She's like, put that down. Find more than wash your hands. I want to talk to you about something because we have another thing in common besides Sirent live and loving comedy. I grew a lot of vegetables.

[Kate McKinnon]

I know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This summer, and I was very excited.

They're beautiful.

These are my veggies. These are my veggies. I have two tomatoes and a cucumber.

[Kate McKinnon]

Look at them.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That is. Yeah.

[Kate McKinnon]

They're so red. They're so ripe.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you very much. That is demi tomato. That is Benedict cucumber batch.

[Kate McKinnon]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But they did not turn out great at all. And I was talking to. I mean, what are you talking about?

[Kate McKinnon]

This one's wearing a corset.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's been a disaster.

[Kate McKinnon]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But you were kind and cool enough to bring veggies from your actual garden. Kate McKinnon. I am freaking out and jealous.

[Ian Lara]

Are you kidding me?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow.

[Kate McKinnon]

I grew a cornucope. A sort of a cornucope.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes. Look at this.

[Kate McKinnon]

Oh, thanks.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is real. This is from your real garden.

[Kate McKinnon]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I mean, talk to me about these.

[Kate McKinnon]

We have. I mean, I grew tomatoes and a watermelon. A watermelon and some eggplants and some turnips, which is an underrated vegetable, I find.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[Kate McKinnon]

And some other stuff.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Zucchini.

[Kate McKinnon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do you have any names for any of these veggies?

[Kate McKinnon]

Well, they all Have. They have big personalities, you know, they're not grocery store vegetables. They have. So I did this one. This tomato I named. I don't know if you can see. This is Hemorrhoid Harry.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay.

[Kate McKinnon]

And.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay. All right, all right.

[Kate McKinnon]

This zucchini struck me as, like, a hard puritan woman named, like, you think so, Abigail, good squash or something who's had a hard life.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Abigail good squash.

[Kate McKinnon]

And then this. This turnip.

I don't know.

This is what? Sneaky Pete?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, sure, Sneaky Pete. But what now? What have you got here? What do you mean?

[Kate McKinnon]

Oh, so you have to preserve your crop, right? And one of the best ways, I'm sure most of you know, is natural pickling, lacto, fermented pickles, which is without vinegar, it's just salt and bacteria. So these are green beans that I pickled myself. And they're, you know, they pack a punch. So if you want to kind of, you know, there's no vinegar in that. The acid is produced from the butts of the bacteria that are in there.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm chewing this. All right, here we go. That's what I'm talking about.

[Kate McKinnon]

It's pickly.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That is fantastic.

[Kate McKinnon]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That is fantabulous. It's a little gross, but it's great.

That is so fresh and so delicious. I'm interested in all this stuff. I'm blown away by your green thumb. You were really impressive.

[Kate McKinnon]

Thanks. It's just. It's salt and thyme and bacteria.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's it. But actually, you shared so much with us tonight. I think you have one more thing that you'd like to share with the audience.

[Kate McKinnon]

Well, I do. Okay. So I grew, like, a lot of these little eggplants, and I didn't know how many eggplants you're going to eat, really. So I thought of a fun game. So before the show, I hid some of them under chairs in the audience. So if you look under your chair and there's an eggplant there, you do win a prize. So everyone look under the. Who's got an eggplant? Okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Perfect.

[Kate McKinnon]

Amazing. Amazing.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is my favorite thing I've ever seen. This is.

This is exciting. You win a prize, you win a prize. You win a prize.

[Kate McKinnon]

The prize is. The prize is the eggplant itself.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You get. Oh, my God. Kate McKinnon, everybody. The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette. For young ladies of Mad Science, Secrets of the Purple Pearls. On sale September 30th. More Tonight show after the break. Cigara.

[Audience Member / Backstage Voice]

And dig your Hands and clap. If I ask do you feel it? Better answer back See me with a big boy burgundy Cadillac When I'm rhyming in design I'm with that thing in my life.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest has his comedy special material boy, premiering October 10th on Pluto TV. Making his fifth Tonight show appearance, please welcome the very funny Ian Lara.

[Ian Lara]

Thank you. Thank you, man. This is my fifth time doing this.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How excited is that?

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, this is my home, man. This is a very, very attractive audience. I see some couples in the audience, groups of women.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hello. How y' all doing?

[Ian Lara]

I'm gonna be honest, every time I see women who come to shows by themselves, it makes me really appreciate female friendships. Cause y' all could just plan cute dates like this on a Tuesday and nobody thinks it's weird. Women could just do that. They'll call each other up, no plans. Girl, what you doing? Wanna go see a show? Just us? We don't need a man. I hate men. Let's go. That's nice. Men can't really do that. Like, we can hang out, but we gotta be strategic with the planning. We gotta watch what we say. I can't call my boy up on a Tuesday night. Like, bro, you wanna laugh? Let's go out, me and you. We'll sit in a dark room and enjoy each other's company. It'll be fun. We don't need women. I hope there's no women. Men can do that with sports. Sports is the only activity you can invite any guy to do at any time. And it's not weird. Cause I don't know if y' all know this. Sports is the only thing men do together where we don't gotta communicate. And I think that's the key to long term friendship. 0. Communication can extend the life of a friendship 1000%. And women don't like that. They get mad at us. They yell at us. You men need to do better. Y' all gotta communicate with each other. And then we try communicating and we're like, we shouldn't have did that. Thanks a lot. You ruined our friendship. I didn't know he was a weirdo. It wasn't confirmed before. It was speculation, but I didn't know for sure. That's one of the benefits of our friendship. That's why I honestly believe that men friendships are stronger than women friendships. Because we don't bother to get to know each other. That's the key. Knowing people is not good. It's very overrated. Women get to know their friends for what? You're ruining your Friendships. You get too close, every girl you meet, you got to learn everything about them. At first, it's fun. They're besties. Then they start fighting and arguing. Then they gotta break up. That's my favorite part. Women are the only people on the planet that have an ex best friend. Think about that. Why y' all got an ex best friend? No man has an ex best friend. I never been at the gym with one of my boys and he's like, bro, we gotta get outta here. My ex just walked in. Bro, where's she at? Nah, the dude with the headband. We used to be. We used to be partners. He forgot my birthday. I don't talk to him no more. He's selfish. Let's call another man Selfish. Men don't have an ex best friend. It's not in our nature. If he was your best friend at five years old, he's your best friend today. We don't upgrade. And when it comes to friendship, we're very loyal. A lot of people don't know we're loyal. We don't even care who you grow up to be. You could be a terrible person. It's none of my business. You could be a murderer or a club promoter, and we'll still hang out. Not women. They'll cut you out their life. Important people, too. They don't care. You ask him. What happened to your maid of honor? She's dead. To me. No, the godmother of your children. She's a witch. And I should have known. Cause she's a Gemini and a Scorpio moon. I should have never let her in my life. I met one girl, one time. She told me she cut her best friend out her life. Cause she was late wishing her a happy birthday. And I asked. I said, wait, how late was she? She said, 12:15. It was 15 minutes past midnight. That was unacceptable for her. She said, I wish her a happy birthday every year at midnight. She needed to wish me a happy birthday at midnight. Just like that. Blocked her delete her phone number. Stop talking to her. That's insane. I couldn't even imagine getting mad at my boy for forgetting my birthday. Cause he doesn't know when my birthday is. We never spoke about that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

For what?

[Ian Lara]

You think he gonna take me to brunch with birthday balloons? We don't celebrate like that. We have spent the entire day together on my birthday. He never figured it out. One time we went to dinner. It was a whole group of us. The waitress sang me Happy birthday. He still didn't know. Had no idea. It was my birthday. A couple days went by, I was talking about my birthday. He was shocked. He was like, that was your birthday? I thought you was doing that to get women. I didn't even know. 30 years we've been best friends. I don't know nothing about him. He don't know nothing about me. And we're tight. It's my brother. I'm joking. I know his favorite teams. I'm not a monster. That's how men connect. We learn each other's favorite teams. That means a lot. Whenever his favorite teams play, I always remember, that's a big deal for us. I text him, yo, you see the game? He replied, yeah, bro. Thank you for thinking about me. I appreciate that, guys.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I mean, laugh. Thank you, guys. Steady up. Steady over. Ian Laura. That's what I'm talking about. Put the time in, bud. The time. Ian Lara. Check out his comedy Special Material Boy. October 10th on Pluto TV. We'll be right back, everybody.

[Audience Member / Backstage Voice]

You are I make it laugh. Go take a bath. You don't know the half of my structure. Tall like a Scott script.

[Jimmy Fallon]

My thanks to the cast of one battle after another. Pete McKinnon Rose Iolara. Good night, everybody. Thank you very much. Get involved. Get into it.

Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon.

[Ian Lara]

Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.