Trump and Putin Agree to Partial Ukraine Ceasefire | John Legend, Bill Burr | Tuesday, March 18

Summary

Summary of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" Episode: Trump and Putin Agree to Partial Ukraine Ceasefire | John Legend, Bill Burr
Release Date: March 19, 2025

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1. Opening and Monologue (00:00 - 07:00)

Host Introduction: Jimmy Fallon kicks off the show from Studio 6P at the Rock and Roller Center in Earth City, welcoming guests John Legend and Bill Burr. The atmosphere is lively as Fallon sets the tone for an engaging evening.

Monologue Highlights:

• Political Satire:

  • John Legend (00:23): Jokes about President Trump's lengthy phone call with Vladimir Putin, humorously dubbing it a "podcast" instead of a simple conversation.

    “Three hours? That's not a phone call, that's a podcast.” (01:07)

• Current Events:

  • John Legend (01:07): Discusses the partial ceasefire agreement between Trump and Putin regarding the Ukraine conflict, mocking the seriousness by mentioning Trump's attempt to sell Putin a Cybertruck.

    “Putin agreed to a partial ceasefire. At least they think he did.” (01:35)

• Astronauts' Return:

  • John Legend (03:00): Shares a humorous take on the return of astronauts from the International Space Station, comparing their experiences to everyday relatable scenarios.

    “They’re the first people in history to honestly text someone, sorry, just saw this.” (04:05)

• Spring Break and Local News:

  • John Legend (04:50): Highlights the 18% drop in arrests in Miami Beach during spring break, sarcastically attributing it to police avoiding interactions.

    “Miami police said, oh, we stopped arresting them. We're afraid of them.” (05:12)

• Viral Trends:

  • John Legend (05:50): Mentions quirky warning signs posted in Myrtle Beach, Miami, and Laguna Beach, poking fun at their absurdity.

    “Here’s one from Myrtle Beach. It says you’re one viral TikTok away from unemployment.” (05:55)

• Tattoo Anesthesia Trend:

  • John Legend (06:20): Comments on the concerning trend of people paying for anesthesia during tattoos, sarcastically suggesting the traditional alternative.

    “Doctors preferred the safer, traditional method of getting blackout drunk.” (06:30)

Transition to Guest Segment: Fallon smoothly transitions from his monologue to the main segment, introducing the guests with enthusiasm.

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2. Interview with John Legend (07:00 - 15:00)

Album Anniversary Celebration:

• Deluxe Album Release:

  • Ruth Cruz (07:02): Announces the release of the 20th-anniversary deluxe edition of John Legend's debut album, "Get Lifted."

    “We did a nice deluxe version, has three LPs.” (10:34)

• Collaborations and Remixes:

  • Ruth Cruz (11:21): Details collaborations with artists like Black Thought, Lil Wayne, and Lauryn Hill, sharing personal anecdotes about working with Lauryn Hill.

    “I get on the piano just to show her what I could do. It was like a mini audition.” (12:05)

• Tour Announcements:

  • Ruth Cruz (15:14): Excites the audience about the upcoming "Get Lifted 20th Anniversary World Tour," covering venues like the O2 Arena and multiple locations across Europe and North America.

    “We just announced the dates today, so everybody can go to johnlegend.com.” (15:19)

Personal Insights:

• Family Life:

  • Ruth Cruz (08:02): Shares insights into her family life, mentioning their four children and their interests.

    “We have four kids now. We have Luna, Miles, Esti, and Rin.” (08:13)

• Early Career:

  • Ruth Cruz (13:04): Reflects on her early career, including her first credit on Lauryn Hill's album "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" under her original name, John R. Stevens.

    “That was my first credit on any album.” (13:09)

Notable Quotes:

• John Legend (07:00):

  “Get lifted. And you have a nice deluxe version.” (10:54)

• Ruth Cruz (13:47):

  “John Legend's a lot better.” (13:47)

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3. Interview with Bill Burr (15:00 - 24:35)

Broadway Debut:

• Glengarry Glen Ross:

  • Bill Burr (16:20): Discusses his Broadway debut in David Mamet's "Glengarry Glen Ross," sharing experiences from previews and interacting with the cast.

    “Previews are weird. They’re like, no, it’s just previews.” (16:22)

• Audience Interaction:

  • Bill Burr (17:08): Recounts an incident with an overenthusiastic audience member during his performance.

    “There was an Indian dude acting like De Niro in Cape Fear, screaming…” (17:07)

Stand-Up Special:

• "Drop Dead Years":
  • Bill Burr (21:11): Introduces his new stand-up special, "Drop Dead Years," explaining the concept behind it and the themes he explores about aging and masculinity.

    “It’s the years that I’m in right now. I’m 56, soon to be 57.” (21:05)

Personal Anecdotes:

• Family and Stand-Up:

  • Bill Burr (19:02): Shares challenges of balancing family life with his demanding Broadway schedule, highlighting the use of FaceTime with his children.

    “When he picks up the phone, I just see like an eyeball. He’s like, dad, when you coming home?” (19:09)

• Career Reflections:

  • Bill Burr (20:18): Reflects on his stand-up career, discussing the aftermath of performances and future gigs.

    “I can’t like, just take, you know, four or five months off a standup.” (19:44)

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr (21:11):

  “It's something that uniquely men do is we drop dead.” (21:14)

• Jimmy Fallon (20:17):

  “I haven't got fired yet. We'll see.” (20:17)

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4. Comedy and Banter (24:35 - End)

Closing Segments:

• Musical Performance:

  • Bill Burr (24:45): Delivers a brief, humorous rap segment, showcasing his versatility beyond stand-up comedy.

    “Mesmerizing state caffeine over your head like omniverse screens…” (24:45)

• Final Remarks:

  • John Legend (25:10): Thanks the audience and guests, wrapping up the episode with a cheerful sign-off.

    “Good night, everybody.” (25:20)

Audience Engagement: Fallon and his guests engage in light-hearted interactions, ensuring the audience leaves with smiles and memorable moments from the episode.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• John Legend (01:07):

  “Three hours? That's not a phone call, that's a podcast.”

• John Legend (04:05):

  “They’re the first people in history to honestly text someone, sorry, just saw this.”

• John Legend (05:55):

  “Here’s one from Myrtle Beach. It says you’re one viral TikTok away from unemployment.”

• Ruth Cruz (13:47):

  “John Legend's a lot better.”

• Bill Burr (21:14):

  “It’s something that uniquely men do is we drop dead.”

• Bill Burr (24:45):

  “Mesmerizing state caffeine over your head like omniverse screens…”

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Conclusions and Insights

This episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon masterfully blends current events satire with heartfelt conversations featuring prominent guests like John Legend and Bill Burr. John Legend celebrates his musical achievements and personal milestones, offering fans an intimate glimpse into his life and career. Meanwhile, Bill Burr shares his experiences transitioning to Broadway and discusses his new stand-up special, providing laughs and relatable anecdotes. Fallon’s adept hosting ensures a smooth flow between segments, maintaining an engaging and entertaining atmosphere throughout the show.

For those who missed the episode, this summary encapsulates the key moments, humorous exchanges, and insightful discussions that made this episode memorable.

Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio 6P of Rock and Roller center in the heart of the Earth City Mr. Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight joins Jimmy is guest John Legend Bill Burr, the legendary Ruth Cruz.

[John Legend]

211. 0 and now here he is, Gimme Valley Sad right there. Sounding great.

[Bill Burr]

I love you.

[John Legend]

Enjoy yourself. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show. You're here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You made it.

[John Legend]

Thank you for watching. Well, guys, some big news from Washington today. President Trump had a nearly three hour phone call with Vladimir Putin about ending the war in Ukraine. Although Trump spent most of that time trying to sell Putin a cybertruck, think of it as a mini tank with a mind of its own. Three hours? That's not a phone call, that's a podcast. And now a message from ZipRecruiter. I couldn't remember my life before Zip Recruiter.

[Ruth Cruz]

I really do use it.

[John Legend]

But both sides said the call went well, which makes sense because they're both on the same side. And yeah, Russia actually described the call as historic and epic. And nothing makes me feel safe like a happy Russia. But the White House said Putin agreed to a partial ceasefire. At least they think he did. It was tough to hear on the phone with Elon's kids playing tag in the background. I'm on the phone. I'm on the. Don't eat my McNuggets. They're mine. Hello, sir. Meanwhile, I read that Putin actually made Trump wait for an hour before getting on the call. When asked why, Putin said, cuz it's funny. Speaking of Trump, I saw that he just hung a copy of the Declaration of Independence in the Oval Office. Don't worry, it's not the original copy of the Declaration. That one's hanging in the bathroom at Mar a Lago. Meanwhile, you can tell the economy's in trouble because Trump spent the entire day scanning the back for clues to a treasure. It's in a cave under the Lincoln Memorial. Here's some good news. Today, the Boeing astronauts who were stranded at the International Space Station for nine months finally returned to Earth. Welcome. Right now, they're the first people in history to honestly text someone, sorry, just saw this. Yeah, they were up there for nine months. Or as the two astronauts put it, there's three of us now and stuck in space for nine months. Today the astronauts were like, I just want to get home, watch Joker 2, make a three egg omelette and dip my toes in the Gulf of Mexico. I can't wait. Yeah, you're slowly getting it. I like it. I love it. Take your time. We're here together. Take your time. Enjoy yourself tonight. Show's on me. The show's on me, folks. That's right. The astronauts finally made it home after nine months in space. It was quite an ordeal. In a statement, the astronauts said, our legs feel wobbly and we could barely walk. Then everyone who celebrated St. Patrick's Day said, legs fell wobbly and you could barely walk. Join the club, Bud. And the astronauts said, honestly, we weren't sure we'd make it home alive. Then everyone with a Tesla said, not sure you'd make it home alive. Join the club, Bud. And the astronaut said, we were so high, it felt like we'd never come down. Then your mom, after popping half a gummy, said, so high you felt like you never come down. Join the club, Bud. Then astronaut said, we spent so much time together, feels like we're a married couple. And Trump and Elon said, spend so much time together, feels like you're a married couple. Join the club, bud.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What?

[John Legend]

And finally, the astronauts said, we're back now, but we just keep staring into space. And Mitch McConnell said, Where am I? They have a lot in common. Well, some business news. The CEO of Ferrari said the company's claim clients are getting younger with 40% of their new customers under the age of 40 still small penises, but under.

[Ruth Cruz]

The age of 40.

[John Legend]

Hey, this is going viral. Bad bunny is starring in Calvin Klein's new underwear campaign. Do you see a photo? Whoa. I don't think that guy drives a Ferrari. That guy. Well, guys, spring break is in full swing. And officials in Miami Beach. Yes, right now. All right, in this audience. Yes, absolutely. But in Miami beach, they said there's been an 18% drop in arrests this year. Ask why the numbers are down. Miami police said, oh, we stopped arresting them. We're afraid of them. Yeah, things can get pretty crazy at spring break. So apparently, some cities have put up warning signs around some popular places. Like, you've seen these, like, don't drink and drive. Yeah, of course. It's very important. But there are some other warning signs that really caught my eye. For instance, here's one from Myrtle Beach. It says you're one viral TikTok away from unemployment.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow.

[John Legend]

Here's another one I saw from Miami says, we don't have coke. Is cocaine okay in Miami?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow.

[John Legend]

Finally, here's one from Laguna Beach. It says you're about to hear Pink Pony Club on loop until your ears bleed. These are all very helpful times. Well, get this. I read that doctors are concerned that a growing trend of people paying to go under anesthesia while they get tattoos. Yep. Doctors preferred the safer, traditional method of getting blackout drunk. Hey, I heard about a postal worker who allegedly stole $1.6 million worth of checks from the mail and spent them at gentlemen's clubs. The most shocking part is that he found strippers who take checks. We have a great show. John Legend is here tonight. Legendary John Legend. Great singer, great host, Also one of my favorite comedians. Bill Burr is joining us on Broadway. Bill Burr, Stick around. We'll be right back with John Legendary. Buddy. Come on back.

[Bill Burr]

To separate now. They ever come Mentally paralyzed with hips that I survived.

[John Legend]

Our first guest is an egot winning artist who recently released a deluxe version of his debut album, get lifted, 20th anniversary edition, which is out now. And you can see him on the Voice every Monday at 8pm on NBC and the next day on Peacock. Everyone please welcome John Legend. Hello, everybody.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[John Legend]

Ah, they love you. We love you. Welcome back to the show, bud.

[Ruth Cruz]

It's good to be back.

[John Legend]

You know, it's your tenth time on our. On the tonight show here.

[Ruth Cruz]

Tenth time.

[John Legend]

That's great. Thank you very much.

[Ruth Cruz]

It's a celebration.

[John Legend]

I appreciate this.

[Ruth Cruz]

20 years of get lifted. 10 years. 10 times on Jimmy. That means once every two years. That's a decent pace.

[John Legend]

Yeah, that's not. That's a decent pace. I want you on more.

[Ruth Cruz]

Okay, I'll come back once a year. Let's do that.

[John Legend]

Let's do that. Howard, Chrissy, and the kids. How's the fam?

[Ruth Cruz]

Everybody's good. We have four kids now. I don't know if you know this, but we have four kids now. That's great.

[John Legend]

How's everyone in the family?

[Ruth Cruz]

It's a large brood now, you know. What are the ages? So Luna is eight. She's in third grade. She'll be nine very soon. She's doing, like, musical theater at school. She's playing young Nala. Is she really in Lion King? Yeah.

[John Legend]

No way.

[Ruth Cruz]

Yeah. And then Miles, he's really into Sports, and he's 6 years old. He'll be 7 in May. And so we play a lot of football, basketball, baseball in the backyard, and he's on some of the teams at school. He's a better athlete than I was.

[John Legend]

Really?

[Ruth Cruz]

Yes.

[John Legend]

At six years old?

[Ruth Cruz]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, definitely. I was very good at music. Guy was like, that's not gonna happen. You don't get to get everything.

[John Legend]

I tried for a while. I tried out for everything, man.

[Ruth Cruz]

Yeah.

[John Legend]

I couldn't make any team. I was just. It was embarrassing.

[Ruth Cruz]

I was Just waiting for a sport where you could be short and slow and not athlet. But nothing ever came around.

[John Legend]

I felt bad for my dad because he would come to the baseball games and people would just give him tips on how to make me better. Maybe tell Jimmy to lift his elbow up. He's trying everything, man. The kids, hopefully. He's funny. I don't know.

[Ruth Cruz]

I was very good at collecting football cards.

[John Legend]

Yes. I was good at that stuff too. I had a couple shoeboxes full of that stuff. And the baby is.

[Ruth Cruz]

So we have two babies. So Esti's two and Rin is one. So sd, you know, she just turned two in January.

[John Legend]

I got a. You brought a picture of her birthday cake. She's really into John Cena at 2 years old.

[Ruth Cruz]

This is a fact. She's kind of over it now, but there was like, maybe like a four month phase where she just was obsessed with John Cena.

[John Legend]

Did you watch wrestling?

[Ruth Cruz]

No, we never watched WWE at the house. And I didn't even. Like, I grew up in the WWF era before John Cena was ever even heard of. And so I know all the wrestlers from back then. So I didn't even really know John Cena except from his movies. And you know, somehow maybe one of the nannies showed her like a doll and she just started getting obsessed with John Cena.

[John Legend]

With the doll.

[Ruth Cruz]

Yeah.

[John Legend]

We know that he's a real person.

[Ruth Cruz]

I don't know that she knows he's real. We were going to try.

[John Legend]

She's gonna freak out. Cause he kind of does look like the doll.

[Ruth Cruz]

Yeah. For her birthday. We were gonna try to find him on Cameo, you know, you heard of Cameo? Or you can get like a reality.

[John Legend]

Star scene is not on Cameo.

[Ruth Cruz]

He's not on Cameo?

[John Legend]

No, he's not on Cameo. But to wish her a happy birthday.

[Ruth Cruz]

To wish her a happy birthday.

[John Legend]

He would totally do it.

[Ruth Cruz]

She would have freaked out.

[John Legend]

He's one of the nicest guys.

[Ruth Cruz]

He seems like you.

[John Legend]

He's like you. Yeah, he's one of the nicest guys we've known. He's on the show probably nine times.

[Ruth Cruz]

Well, John Cena, if you're out there.

[John Legend]

Yeah. Let's talk about this. The 20th anniversary of your album right here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[John Legend]

Get lifted. And you have a nice. A nice deluxe version.

[Ruth Cruz]

We did a nice deluxe version, has three LPs. So the two, first two are the original version of the album. So we didn't touch that. And then the last LP is a bunch of remixes and it features, you know, the great black Thought on there. And some other amazing.

[John Legend]

Yeah, there he is. A big fan, dude.

[Ruth Cruz]

Yes, I'm a big fan. We have Lil Wayne on there and Killer Mike, and Tim's. And Simi got remixes by 9th Wonder, Lauryn Hill, musical director Eugene Man Man Roberts. Lauryn Hill's on there. But we actually recorded that back in 2005 during the cycle for Get Lifted back then.

[John Legend]

Is that right?

[Ruth Cruz]

Yeah. And that was produced by Wyclef.

[John Legend]

Oh, really?

[Ruth Cruz]

Yes.

[John Legend]

Now, how did you get hooked up with Lauryn Hill?

[Ruth Cruz]

So the first time I met Lauryn Hill, I was still a student at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. So I was going to school there, and I used to play at this church up in Scranton. So Scranton's a couple hours north of Philly, and I would drive up there every weekend. And one of my choir members name was Tara Michelle, and she went to high school with Lauryn Hill. And the score had already been a huge success for the Coogees. Yes. And Killing Me Softly. And everybody was wondering when Lauren's gonna go solo. And she was working on her solo album. And Tara was like, johnny, come to Jersey with me. And we're gonna meet Lauryn Hill. She's working on her solo album. And so they're in there working on the album, and I get on the piano just to show her what I could do. It was like a mini audition. And, yeah, I was nervous, but, you know, I did my thing. I sang a little Stevie Wonder, sang an original song, too. And then she was like, why don't you play piano on this song and work on it now? And it was Everything is Everything from the miseducational Lauryn Hill. Yeah. So that was my.

[John Legend]

Wow.

[Ruth Cruz]

That was my first credit on any album. And it was, you know, one of the greatest albums of all time. Rolling Stone said it was, like, literally the greatest album.

[John Legend]

Greatest album of all time. Yeah. I was looking for the credit for.

[Ruth Cruz]

Apple Music, said that, and I think.

[John Legend]

I found it right here. Yes, this is your credit.

[Ruth Cruz]

They call me up, so they're like, I didn't know if the song was gonna make the album. I didn't know if my parts were gonna make the album. And so I was just waiting to find out. And I get a call from the A and R at Columbia Records, which is where Lauren signed, And they. They asked me how to spell my name for the album credits. I was like, oh, oh, okay. You want to know how to spell my name? So I was like, it's happening. John R. Stevens. John R. Stevens. S. T E P H E N S. And I was like, in retrospect, that was not a great stage name to like, put on the album credits.

[John Legend]

John Legend's better.

[Ruth Cruz]

John Legend's a lot better. I didn't become John Legend for a while.

[John Legend]

John R. Stevens.

[Ruth Cruz]

I was John R. Stevens on track 13 of the Miseducational Lauryn Hill.

[John Legend]

If you look, zoom in there.

[Ruth Cruz]

We're gonna zoom in there.

[John Legend]

There you go. John R. Stevens.

[Ruth Cruz]

That's a big deal. So for a while, that was my claim to fame at school. And, you know, she was asking me, you know, how do you want to be credit? How much do you want to get paid? And I really didn't know what to ask for. And so I asked my friend who had been interning in the music business that summer, came back to school and I was like, yo, I'm about to be in the Lauryn Hill album. How much should I ask for? He's like, $500. I was like, they're all laughing.

[John Legend]

No way.

[Ruth Cruz]

So I'm like, okay, $500. So I got $500.

[John Legend]

They were like, okay, yeah, buy it. Okay, perfect. Guess deal's a deal.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Ruth Cruz]

They're like, yes, no negotiation necessary. Deal.

[John Legend]

That's the cheapest deal we've ever made in the history of the world.

[Ruth Cruz]

That's no publishing, no nothing.

[John Legend]

And here you are. But you made it. You're track 13.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I made it.

[Ruth Cruz]

And then obviously we got Ms. Hill to do the remix of so High in 2005 with Wyclef producing it. So that was a nice full circle moment.

[John Legend]

Dude, that's fantastic. I'm so happy for you. Also, you're going on a massive tour. You're going to come up a get lifted 20th anniversary world tour.

[Ruth Cruz]

That's right.

[John Legend]

I mean, this is all over the place.

[Ruth Cruz]

Yeah.

[John Legend]

You're going to do the O2 Arena.

[Ruth Cruz]

Yes. We're going to the UK, we're going to Europe, and we'll be all over North America as well.

[John Legend]

That's. That's fantastic.

[Ruth Cruz]

We just announced the dates today, so everybody can go to john legend.com john.

[John Legend]

Legend.Com get tickets, everybody.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thanks.

[John Legend]

Stick around, everybody.

[Bill Burr]

Just. What? If you could just. Just blank yourselves away.

[John Legend]

Our next guest is the very talented actor and Grammy nominated comedian whose new standup special, Bill Burr Drop Dead Years is streaming now on Hulu. Please welcome Bill Burr. I, Bill Burr. Come on, Bill. Welcome back to the Tonight Show. It's always great to see you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is nice. Yeah, I think didn't look like this last time.

[John Legend]

It didn't.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[John Legend]

Oh, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's. But it's been a while.

[John Legend]

We've upped our budget. We've upped our budget now here at the. Tonight. Yeah. I'm happy you came back. You look sharp. Congrats. We have a lot to talk about. First of all, you're making your Broadway debut. But.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[John Legend]

David Mamet's classic play, Glengarry Glen Ross. You're in previews right now. How's it. How's it going so far?

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's going good. Yeah. Previews are weird. They're like. They're like, no, it's just previews. And I'm thinking, like, well, people paid to see it, so it's gotta be good, right? Yes.

[John Legend]

I take it to get disappointed, but.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm finding, like, the crowds are really nice. It's. No, just. I came up in the standup world, so to be in front of a crowd that's, like, smart, wants to be there, is listening. You know, you just started as a comedian, you know, half of the time. Yeah. They didn't even know there was gonna be a show. They'd shut off a game and everyone's throwing stuff at you. So whenever I get in front of a crowd, I worry that that's what it's gonna be. So it took a couple of nights, and I. Oh, wow. They're just, like, listening. This is amazing.

[John Legend]

We can.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Although I did have one psycho yelled out one night. Yelled out? It was an Indian dude. He was acting like De Niro in Cape Fear. And he was just, like, screaming like he was in the movie theater. And I.

[John Legend]

Why was he yelling?

[Jimmy Fallon]

He was. I don't know. He was nuts. And then I saw him afterward and was out there signing the things. He was screaming at the top of his lungs from, like, three feet away going, I was a guy who yelled. I was the guy who yelled, yes, you were. All right, buddy.

[John Legend]

I thought it was all right. Yeah. Did it do anything? Does that mess you up?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes, it did. I was like, why is he doing that? I was thinking, is he gonna do that the whole time? And then I'm, like, doing the scene, so. But those things all become, like, blessings when they happen because you learn how to, like, handle them. You know, if you, like, mess up a line, your scene partner helps you out and everything. And my first scene is with Michael McKean, who's.

[John Legend]

Oh, he's unbelievable. That guy's incredible.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So probably the hardest part of doing that scene is not thinking, like, oh, my God, I'm here with Michael. McKean because he's just so generous, the way he just throws the ball back and forth. And the whole cast is. Yeah. Bob Odenkirk watching him, it was a dream of his to play Shelly, so. See that every night. Kieran Culkin. Kieran John Pericello Weber Jr. And Howard W. Overshone there. I got everybody's name out, so it's been a great crew and we're just, you know, busting chops over there, having a good time.

[John Legend]

You just got. We can announce you got extended another two weeks. It's now going to run till June 28th. That's unusual blue.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[John Legend]

Now the Broadway schedule is eight shows a week. It's pretty grueling. I mean, we've had Broadway actors on the show many times. I just kind of. I'm in awe because.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, it's after the show. That's what's grueling is after they applaud. And then you go home to that lonely corporate apartment and you're just staring at the wall going, like, now what do I do?

[John Legend]

So cuz your family's not here, right?

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, unfortunately they come one week a month. So I've been doing the FaceTime. It works with my daughter. She's only eight, but my son's like four and a half, so he's not good at FaceTime. So when he picks up the phone, I just see like an eyeball. He's like, dad, when you coming home? And it just walks away.

[John Legend]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And I'm like, all right, buddy.

[John Legend]

Yeah. Are you doing stand up or anything?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, I do stand up after the shows a lot of the nights, just to kind of like take like the edge off. And then also, you know, I got some gigs right when this thing ends. So I can't like, just take, you know, four or five months off a standup. It's like going to the gym and then I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna suck. And then it all goes away. And then I'm living back at home with my parents. You know, it catastrophized me.

[John Legend]

Have you ever taken time off stand.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Up since I in the pandemic? I did. And I'm not gonna lie to you. At first it was weird. And then three months into it, I was like, I could never do it again. I could just sit here on the back porch, develop a drinking habit. Yeah. And just sort of drive this thing into the ground.

[John Legend]

Are you excited to see who comes see the show? Have you seen, like, celebrity friends or.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Anyone stopping by the show, I would rather not know. And then when they come in after it's been, all right, that's what. I'll do it too.

[John Legend]

I don't want to.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I will tell you what's interesting about the play is it was a real, like, big time drama when it came out, I think, in both the previous ones. But it's getting way more laughs and people are trying to figure out why that is. And I think because it used to be like a voyeuristic thing where people were looking in on this crazy world of this cutthroat thing, but every industry now has been turned into that. So I feel like now it's like gallows humor. Like, if you work at Starbucks now, you relate to Glengarry Glen Ross. Like, oh, yeah, I got a manager like that.

[John Legend]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think you'd be great at that because obviously you're good at stand up. So I think you and an audience work well together.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's. I haven't got fired yet. We'll see.

[John Legend]

Yeah, no, I think you're great. Let's talk about your new special, Drop Dead years. It's number one on Hulu's top 15. That's a big deal.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yep. Number one's not bad. That's not bad. It's not bad at all. Fooled them again.

[John Legend]

Yeah.

[Ruth Cruz]

What.

[John Legend]

What is Drop Dead Years? What does that mean?

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's. It's the years that I'm in right now. I'm 56, soon to be 57. So with, you know, this is too young to die of natural causes, but it's not too young to just drop dead, like, as a man. Yeah. And it's something that uniquely men do is we drop dead. You know, there's a lot of focus on how difficult it is for women to lose weight, but nobody really talks about how often we just drop dead. And nobody seems to care. And they just sort of wheel you out and they just stick somebody else in the cubicle like every day, this guy just falling out of golf carts, face planting into waffles. You don't see that with women. So I feel like, as a man, if you can make it, like, drop dead years are like 49 to, like, 61, 62. And if you make it happen, you're just looking at a prolonged illness from, like, pushing down your feelings. Pushing down your feelings all of these years.

[John Legend]

Yeah. That's so great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, it's a positive time, Jimmy.

[John Legend]

Yeah, it really is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Billionaires are not happy having a billion dollars why does Elon Musk dress like he just.

[John Legend]

All right, thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Why does Elon Musk dress like he just got out of a Hot Topic? I am so sick of that guy trying to rewrite his origin story like he was Matthew McConaughey pulling into the high school. It's like, you were a nerd. Nobody banged you, and now you have hair plugs in your laminated face. No. And everybody. Everybody is afraid of these nerds. I don't get it. My whole life, feminists were focusing on frat boys and guys with their hats on backwards, and they left the nerds alone. And now look at them. They got people wearing adult diapers, driving 18 wheelers, trying to get Crocs to the, I don't know, the box store on time. They're horrible, heartless people. And then for some reason, if you say that you're, like, a communist, and then we're in bed with the Russians, I don't get any of it. None of it makes sense. And then they try to politicize everything that you say, and it's just like, I don't know. Shouldn't you pay your workers? Yeah. Don't you remember that?

[John Legend]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

When we were growing up.

[John Legend]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

One week's pay, paid your rent. You had a little cottage, little boat, you know? Yes. Maybe a second family down the road. That's what you did. That's what you did. You had the money. You had the money.

[John Legend]

So cute.

[Jimmy Fallon]

See, the first part, I was being nice, talking about Glengarry, and now I'm being me.

[John Legend]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. You know how to do you. You know how to do you better than me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You know, it's funny. When we were reading this, people were going, the language is so harsh in here. I'm like, this sounds like everybody I grew up with.

[John Legend]

This is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Sounds like every dad I knew in the neighborhood back in the day.

[John Legend]

Massachusetts. Yes. Yeah. This has got to be a big honor for you. And I can't.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I gotta tell you, it's the most fun I've had with any, like, acting gig I've ever had. And I remember the first night, sitting backstage, waiting for the curtain call, and I was already thinking, when this is over, I'm gonna be really sad. It's been amazing. Patrick Marber is. Is. Is directing it. It's fantastic cast. You gotta come down and see it.

[John Legend]

We'll definitely check it out.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's amazing.

[John Legend]

Congratulations, buddy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you, brother.

[John Legend]

I appreciate it. Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you.

[John Legend]

That's Bill Burr, everybody. Drop dead. Years is streaming now on Hulu. Go see him on Broadway. Broadway's own Bill Burr. More Tonight show after the break.

[Bill Burr]

Stick around everybody mesmerizing state caffeine over your head like omniverse screens not the average savage the cursed queens cause I'm from his first dreams first we're handling first thing subsurface unseen got a whole planet by the perf strings them sees the earthling you at a stop sign I'm in the Mach 5 we in the wind like barb and monochrome my.

[John Legend]

Face to Bill Burr draw a legend Once again, thank you. And the rooster from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody.

[Ruth Cruz]

Bye bye.

[John Legend]

Get involved better get involved gotta get.

[Bill Burr]

Involved now get into it.

[John Legend]

Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jenny Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.