Trump Claims He Would’ve Been Better at War Than Other Presidents | Nikki Glaser, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Ella Stiller, Isabel Hagen | Tuesday, April 21

Summary

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Podcast Summary

Episode: Trump Claims He Would’ve Been Better at War Than Other Presidents | Nikki Glaser, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Ella Stiller, Isabel Hagen | April 21, 2026
Date Released: April 22, 2026
Notable Guests: Nikki Glaser, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Taylor Dearden, Isabel Hagen, Ella Spiller
House Band: The Roots

---

Episode Theme & Overview

This episode features Jimmy Fallon's trademark blend of political satire, celebrity interviews, and stand-up comedy. The episode kicks off with topical jokes about President Trump’s handling of an Iran ceasefire deadline, swings satirically through trending news, and spotlights major pop culture guests. Standout segments include a running gag on the Strait of Hormuz, a parody of Trump’s Bible literacy, and candid, humorous conversations about career success, pop culture debates, parenthood, and food obsessions with the episode’s celebrity guests.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Monologue: Political Satire and News Parody

• Trump and the Iran Ceasefire:
  Jimmy riffs on President Trump’s lack of progress on a peace deal with Iran, making fun of his procrastination:
  • “This is what happens when you spend two weeks clicking, remind me tomorrow…” (01:15)
• Strait of Hormuz Gag:
  A chaotic, tongue-in-cheek back-and-forth about whether the vital Strait is open or closed, spiraling into farce with guest Ella Spiller:
  • “The Strait of Hormuz is officially open.” — Ella Spiller (02:20)
  • “Just kidding, the Strait is open again...closed again...open from 12 to 3…” — Ella Spiller & Jimmy Fallon (02:34–03:13)
  • Jokes escalate to “my relationship with Donna is now open” and Trump posting as Jesus, playing up the surreality of news cycles.
• Trump’s War Boasts & Approval Ratings:
  • “Trump said he'd have been more successful than previous presidents in conducting wars in Vietnam and Iraq... how about you focus on being successful in this war.” — Jimmy Fallon (03:43)
  • A jab at Trump’s Gen Z approval: “Right now, he's polling between Sus and Delulu.” (03:43)
• Fake Bible Reading Sketch:
  Comedian Isabel Hagen impersonates Trump, intentionally botching Bible book names:

  “I know all the books, like Job, Psalms, Gene Simmons, Dexter’s Laboratory, 101 Dalmatians, Eczema is Nasty... I love reading the new and old...Testicles.” — Isabel Hagen as Trump (04:22)

• White House Grindr Party Parody:
  Actor Barry Jones plays a straight White House staffer comically protesting too much about his knowledge of Grindr:

  “Stop interrogating me. I’m a straight, non-curious White House staffer who does not use Grindr!” — Barry Jones (05:25–06:00)

2. Pop Culture Jokes

• Red Lobster’s Endless Shrimp:
  Fallon lampoons the promotion’s role in bankruptcy:

  “Endless Shrimp is ba– and we're bankrupt. Damn it, Red Lobster!” (07:07)

• Carnival Cruise Lawsuit:
  Throwaway joke about tequila shots and norovirus (07:43)
• Lego/Pasta Swap Schemes:
  Swapping pasta for Legos at Target, delivering a classic one-liner:

  “Meanwhile, someone eating a bowl of Legos at Olive Garden was like, hey, this tastes better than usual.” (08:12)

3. Show Achievements & Personal Milestones

• Webby Awards:
  Fallon announces the show winning six Webby Awards, crediting the digital team and expressing gratitude (08:29–08:52).
• Mad Magazine Cover:
  Expresses honor at being on Mad Magazine's late night cover, likening it to a comedian’s Rolling Stone moment (09:15–10:11).

---

Featured Guest Interviews

Nikki Glaser (Comedian, Host, Influencer)

• Hoarse Voice & Coachella Gag:
  “My voice is a little hoarse. I lost my voice screaming at Coachella. That's the name of my housekeeper.” — Nikki Glaser (10:59)
• Pop Culture Feud: Alex vs. Alex:
  Parodying social media drama:

  “The gays of Hormuz are gagged. I don't know what's going on. It's two gorgeous blondes named Alex...I keep trying to ask my Gen Z friends to explain but it’s like they’re explaining a dream.” (11:26–12:43)

  • “The Pope just put out a statement. He denounced one of the Alexes.” (12:43)
  • Announces she’s “Team Alex.”
• Career Highlights:
  • High-grossing comedy tour: “Alive and Unwell” (13:03)
  • Second time on Time’s 100 Most Influential list:

  “It looks like one of those ones that you would get done at, like, a kiosk in the mall. Like, it just seems like a joke to me.” (13:24)

  • Commenting on influence:

    “I tried to talk to a group of kids today to get them to start smoking, and they weren't interested.” (13:33)

  • Hosting SNL: “It was so fun...but on Sunday, no one calls you. From the show, you've made 14 new best friends, and then you're like, guys, are we gonna do it again? They're like, well, we are, but not you.” (13:54)
  • Golden Globes: Preparing jokes with care, sending flowers to all targets, and sharing about Leo DiCaprio sending her three baskets of pasta as a thank you for a pasta joke (16:46–17:32)
• Food Obsession:
  • “I can't stop eating Uncrustables…They're marketed for little kids, but they're really for high adults.” (18:13)
  • Demonstrates using them for shapewear and shares with Jimmy. (19:34–20:09)
• Standup Special:
  • “Good Girl,” out Friday on Hulu, described as vulnerable and personal:

    “It's kind of like I have this overwhelming feeling that I’m like putting out a sex tape… it feels almost the same way.” (20:40)

---

Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Actor, Playwright)

• Fiftieth Birthday Story:
  Shares the contrast of youth and parenthood:

  “We have two kids now and our party started at 3pm and it ended at, like, 7. People were kind of making fun of us...” (22:55)

  • Kid peed on Joshua Jackson during the party (23:03)
• Taking Kids to Spelling Bee Revival:
  • “My papa created this!” Funny parental pride and kid assumptions about Broadway (24:29–25:14)
• Embarrassing Pilates Mishap:
  • Mistakes a gentlemen’s club for a Pilates class:

    “I arrive, you know, with a bike helmet on and little shorts on for my Pilates class… It's a gentleman's club. They’re like, you’re not here for Pilates.” (25:40–26:25)

• Play, “True,” as Truman Capote:
  • Unique intimacy of performance:

    “You walk in and it’s my living room. It’s Truman Capote’s living room, so I interact with the audience…” (27:01)

  • On audience seeing everything:

    “Normally on stage you don’t see anyone…but here I see everything. If you check your watch, I see it.” (27:43)

  • Drag queens now do Capote impressions:

    “I turned on RuPaul's Drag Race...a drag queen was doing Truman Capote. God damn it… but, yeah, he was a genius.” (28:38–29:12)

  • Play extended, nominated for a Drama League Award (29:28–29:31)

---

Taylor Dearden (Actress, "The Pit" on HBO Max)

• On Sudden Fame & Family Viewing Rituals:
  • “I have to sit next to [my mom] and poke her to look down and then look up again while watching the show [during gory scenes].” (31:23)
• Karaoke Scene Surprise:
  • Karaoke scene as Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” wasn’t in script. Alanis herself approved:

    "Alanis Morissette herself posted paging Dr. Santa's Dr. King. You got the thumbs up." — Jimmy Fallon (33:29)

• On Not Being a Singer:
  • “I've been told I was a terrible singer for a lot of my life.” (33:04)
• On Playing a Doctor:
  • “People treat you like a doctor…you don't want anyone to just say, I have a growth, and just kind of show you.” (34:14–34:34)

---

Notable Quotes

• On Celebrity Influence:

  "I tried to talk to a group of kids today to get them to start smoking, and they weren't interested."
  — Nikki Glaser (13:33)

• On Leonardo DiCaprio’s Gift:

  “Me and my writing team found a Teen Beat article from 1991...he sent me three baskets of pasta as a thank you. He sent me pasta.”
  — Nikki Glaser (16:46–17:12)

• On Being on Mad Magazine’s Cover:

  “If you’re a comedian, this is like being on the cover of Rolling Stone… I love Mad magazine.”
  — Jimmy Fallon (09:15–10:11)

• On Playing Truman Capote Night After Night:

  “I love him, but I’m also like, ah…I’ve had a long day of Truman Capote. So I went home … and a drag queen was doing Truman Capote. God damn it.”
  — Jesse Tyler Ferguson (28:38–28:55)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:15 – Monologue: Trump & Iran ceasefire
• 02:20–03:13 – Strait of Hormuz rapid-fire updates
• 04:22 – Isabel Hagen as Trump on Bible literacy
• 05:10 – Grindr at the White House sketch
• 07:07 – Red Lobster Endless Shrimp bankruptcy gag
• 08:29 – Tonight Show Webby Awards announcement
• 09:15 – Mad Magazine cover milestone
• 10:56 – Nikki Glaser interview begins
• 13:09 – Glaser on tour, Time 100, and SNL/Golden Globes
• 18:13 – Nikki’s Uncrustables obsession
• 20:40 – Glaser on vulnerability in her special
• 22:29 – Jesse Tyler Ferguson interview begins
• 24:29 – Taking kids to Spelling Bee
• 25:40 – Pilates/gentlemen’s club confusion story
• 27:01 – Performing “True” as Truman Capote
• 29:28 – Play extension and award nomination
• 30:38 – Taylor Dearden interview begins
• 31:23 – Family watching ritual, karaoke scene story
• 33:29 – Alanis Morissette’s shoutout for karaoke performance

---

Memorable Moments

• The Strait of Hormuz Gag Loop (02:20–03:30): Satirical reporting chaos with real-time reversals.
• Fake Trump Bible Reading (04:22): A rapid-fire series of “Bible” misquotes.
• Uncrustables as Shapewear (19:34): Nikki Glaser uses peanut butter sandwiches as body shaping gear on national TV.
• Leonardo DiCaprio Sends Pasta (17:12): Real-life celebrity goodwill in response to a good-natured joke.
• Family Karaoke Viewing (31:23): Taylor Dearden’s story of shielding her mom’s eyes.

---

Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is fast-paced and loud, blending sharp topical humor with warm, self-deprecating interview moments. The comedic tone prevails, but authentic moments of gratitude and nostalgia add depth, especially around career milestones and family stories. The guests riff easily with Jimmy on pop culture, their careers, and personal quirks, creating a relatable and lively atmosphere.

---

Summary

This episode exemplifies The Tonight Show’s ability to fuse news parody, offbeat sketches, and engaging panel interviews. Fans of political satire, stand-up comedy, and entertainment news will find witty one-liners, running gags, and genuine moments—whether it’s Trump’s ChatGPT diplomacy, Nikki Glaser’s comically awkward food addiction, or Jesse Tyler Ferguson’s tales of Broadway, parenthood, and mistaken Pilates. The episode ends on a high note, celebrating achievements big and small, and underscoring why Fallon’s format endures in late-night television.

Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio 6B in Rockefeller center in the heart of New York City, it's the Tonight show. Starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight joins Jimmy and his guests, Nikki Glaser, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Ella Spiller, comedian Isabel Hagan. And featuring Dee legendary Ruth 2279. And now here he is.

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

Jimmy,

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you so much. Have a seat, enjoy yourself.

Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show.

This is it. This is the show.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's the one to be at.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Let's get to some news, everybody. Guys, tomorrow marks the end of the two week ceasefire deadline set by President Trump and no progress towards a peace deal with Iran has been made. Yeah, this is what happens when you spend two weeks clicking, remind me tomorrow you could tell time is running out. Cuz today Trump was like chatgpt, draft a peace deal.

[Comedian Isabel Hagan]

Very smart, no mistakes

[Jimmy Fallon]

yet. With the deadline expiring tomorrow and no progress made, Trump just announced that he will once again extend the ceasefire with Iran. Yeah, it's the most unexpected move he's made since he did this same exact thing two weeks ago.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Critics are once again saying Trump always chickens out. But in his defense, today is Taco Tuesday. Yeah, the big story is still Iran and everyone's been monitoring the situation. With the Strait of Hormuz, it can be hard to keep up, but with the strait closed, oil prices have been skyrocketing.

[Ella Spiller]

After seven weeks of conflict, the Strait of Hormuz is officially open.

[Comedian Isabel Hagan]

Oh,

[Jimmy Fallon]

that's amazing. That's big news. Anyway, as I was saying, we are

[Ella Spiller]

now hearing the Straight of Hormuz is once again closed.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow, that was fast. Anyway, as I was saying.

[Ella Spiller]

Jk, the straight is open again.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Jk.

Okay, well, anyway, as I was saying,

[Ella Spiller]

our bad bestie, it's closed again.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What is going on over there? Anyway, as I was saying, the straight

[Ella Spiller]

is open, but the Hormuz is closed.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What does that even mean? Anyway, as I was saying, the straight

[Ella Spiller]

is open from 12 to 3, then closes until 5 to set up for dinner.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That doesn't make sense.

Anyway, as I was saying, the straight

[Ella Spiller]

is still closed, but my relationship with Donna is now open.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Who's Donna?

Anyway, as I was saying, President Trump

[Ella Spiller]

posted a picture of himself as Jesus walking across the Strait of Hormones.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You know, that's enough. No more updates. No more updates.

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

We're good.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We're good.

We don't need any more updates. Guys, I saw today that Trump said that he would have been more successful than previous presidents in conducting wars in Vietnam and Iraq. Everyone's like, how about you focus on being successful in this war. You guys see this? A new poll shows that Trump's approval rating has dropped the most among Gen Z. It's bad. Right now, he's polling between Sus and Delulu. Some more political news tonight. Trump did a live Bible reading from the Oval Office. Yeah, Trump took part in a public reading of the Bible. He was really into it. Actually, check out the video he put up.

[Comedian Isabel Hagan]

This is President Trump. And when it comes to the Bible, I am an expert. I know about all the books, like Job, Psalms, Gene Simmons, Dexter's Laboratory 101, Dalmatians, Eczema is Nasty, Chronicles of Narnia, Kardashians, Obladi oblada, Bitham San. But no matter the book, I just love reading the new and old. Testicles.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What?

The whole thing's a disaster. It's a thong song.

What?

Well, listen to this. I read that this week, dating app Grindr is hosting its first ever party for the White House Correspondent's Dinner. Here to discuss this is White House staffer Barry Jones. Welcome to the show, Barry.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Thanks for having me, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So what can you tell us about this party that Grindr is hosting at the White House?

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Not much, Jimmy. I've never heard of Grindr before in my life.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Really?

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Stop interrogating me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm not. It's just a pretty well known app, that's all.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Yeah, apparently it's for men to romantically connect with other men. You can see who's nearby, and you can meet up with them at a restaurant or bar. Or a White House bathroom. I guess it's the first I'm hearing about.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Seems you're familiar enough with it.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

And it seems like you're accusing me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm not accusing you of anything, Barry. Good.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Because I'm a straight, non curious White House staffer who does not use Grindr.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I think your phone is going off.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Sorry about that. I forgot to silence it. And no, that was not the Grindr new message notification sound.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I didn't say it was. Barry. Can we start over? I think we got off on the wrong foot.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Fine.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hi.

Hi.

How are you?

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Good,

[Comedian Isabel Hagan]

good.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

You want to meet in the White House bathroom?

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, Barry. No, I don't. We have to move on. White House staffer Barry Jones, everyone.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

I do not use Grindr.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Turn his mic off.

Do you guys see this? Red Lobster is bringing back their endless shrimp promotion for the first time since it helped just this side of the audience. That's weird.

We hate shrimp.

Yeah, we divide our audience into shrimp lovers and shrimp haters. Red Lobster is bringing back their Endless Shrimp promotion. Don't clap. For the first time since it helped drive them towards bankruptcy. Now you're happy. You clap. They're bringing it back. Isn't that wild? They actually released a new commercial about it. Check it out. Endless Shrimp is ba. And we're bankrupt. Damn it, Red Lobster.

[Taylor Dearden]

Oops.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We did it again.

Oops.

Hey, get this. A Carnival Cruise passenger just won a $300,000 lawsuit for claiming that the shift staff served her 14 tequila shots in the span of eight hours. Carnival was like, how else are we gonna kill the Norivir? And finally, I heard about a man in California who was arrested after he allegedly purchased Lego sets from Target and then returned the boxes with pasta inside. Meanwhile, someone eating a bowl of Legos at Olive Garden was like, hey, this tastes better than usual.

Well, we have a great show. Give it up for the Roots. Senator letter.

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

Yes, baby.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What?

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

If you could just. Jess, come on. Blake yourselves away. I beat a 9 to an 11. Beside that, the mechanic dress in south section. You're a punk. To continue.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, hey, guys, we got some good news.

Today we won six Webby Awards.

Six. Six Webbies?

That's the most we've ever won.

Wow.

Since we've been doing this. How cool is that? I want to thank everyone at the Webby's. I want to thank everyone who voted for us, everyone who worked so hard here at the show, and of course, I want to thank our amazing digital team. This is a real honor. Six Webbies.

Six Webbies. Yes. Wow. That's awesome.

It's a real honor. Speaking of real honor, this is true. This just happened. What? I'm on the COVID of this month's Mad magazine. Whoa.

Is that unbelievable?

That's fantastic. It's a special late night issue. There's all the hosts here. If you see all the hosts in there is Letterman sleeping in the sleeping bag. And Alfred E. Newman's there. And Kimmel and Seth and everybody. If you're a comedian, this is like being on the COVID of Rolling Stone.

Yeah.

Or the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, which I'm still holding out for. Yeah, still. But I used to read this all the time as a kid, and you learn so much about comedy and humor and writing. It's always been so funny, and now to be in it and to be on the COVID with Alfred E. Newman is just so cool. It's out now, so go pick it up at your local comic book store. I love Mad magazine.

Yeah.

I mean, I still. I have my old ones from when I was in High school. I mean, I still. I collected them. I saved them. It's an honor. And they have the folding. Folding still. Yeah, just everything. They got all the jokes. I'm so excited.

Come on, come on.

Give it time.

Damn, man.

[Nikki Glaser]

Stick around.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We'll be right back with Nikki Glaser.

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

Up steps that one and only in the flesh. Better believe imma go directly at top quote turn. My name's on the walk of fame. Like, I hope.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our first guest is a hilarious comedian

whose new stand up special, Nikki Glaser Good Girl, premieres this Friday on Hulu. Please welcome Nikki Glaser.

They love you. We love you. Welcome back.

[Nikki Glaser]

I am so glad to be here. I have to say, my voice is a little hoarse. I lost my voice screaming at Coachella. That's the name of my housekeeper.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my God.

[Nikki Glaser]

She stole my watch that I was wearing.

[Jimmy Fallon]

She's screaming at Coachella.

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

Oh, wow.

[Nikki Glaser]

But it's, you know, do you ever get hoarse? You kind of feel sexy. I'm kind of like, oh, it's a little bit like dua lipa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I do like it.

[Nikki Glaser]

My dua lipas might fall out of this dress too, by the way.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my.

How are you? How have you been?

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm good. I'm really good. How is anyone right now? I mean, we're at war. I mean, Alex versus Alex. I mean, it's tough and you have to choose a side.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Alex versus.

[Nikki Glaser]

Are you following this Alex versus Alex thing? It's so confusing. Yeah, it's. The blondes are fighting.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[Nikki Glaser]

Everyone's affected. Straight of Hormuz is fine, but the gays of Hormuz are gagged. It is. I mean, it's just like, I don't know what's going on. I'm trying to understand it. It's two gorgeous blondes. One of them is Alex with an eye. Well, they both have eyes. I wish one of them had one eye so we could help them apart. But there's just like two odd girls. I keep trying to ask my Gen Z friends, like, please just explain what this is, like, what's happening. And then when they get into it, it's like so much information, but also you just don't care. And it's like they're explaining a dream to you. It's like where they're just like, there's an Alex that has a podcast and there's an Alex that gets ready with you. And then there's a Brianna chicken fry. And like. And now I know this woman's name. Brianna Chicken Fry. That's gonna be in my head for, like, I'm always gonna know that name. And I don't know anything about World War I, but, like, I know Brianna chicken and chicken fry, but yeah, it's intense. The Pope just put out a statement. He denounced one of the Alexes. I mean, it's really. It's really getting rough.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my God. It is getting rough.

[Nikki Glaser]

But I am really. I have picked a side and. Cause I know both of them, and I just have to announce that I am Team Alex.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. Good for you.

Good for you. You have the biggest tie.

I want to say congratulations on a lot of things because we always love it when you come here, but since the last time you've been on the show.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Your Stand up tour, the Alive and Unwell tour, was one of the top 10 highest grossing comedy tours of 2025.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Nikki Glaser.

Yeah.

You were also named one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People for the second year in.

I'm on the COVID Yes.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's so weird to be on the COVID of Time magazine because it's like, you get it, and it looks like one of those ones that you would get done at, like, a kiosk in the mall. Like, it just seems like a joke to me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

And influential. I'm just like, what? I don't know. I tried to, like, talk to a group of kids today to get them to start smoking, and they weren't interested. Like, I'm trying to influence anyone. That's not what there should be. Yeah. Yeah. But it's such an honor. It's so cool.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's My Life hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You were fantastic on.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thank you, by the way.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you. Congratulations.

[Nikki Glaser]

It was so fun. Best week of my life.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Did you love it?

[Nikki Glaser]

I was obsessed. It was so much fun. Cause it's like, you just go in there, it's your whole life. It's all you care about for a week. Everything focuses around it. And then on Sunday, no one calls you. Like, no one needs you anymore. From the show, you've made 14 new best friends that you've been creating with all week. And then you're like, guys, are we gonna do it again? They're like, well, we are, but not you. And then you just go on to watch the show, and you're kind of just watching a girl that's been ghosted by a guy. And I'm like, oh, now they're dating Glen Powell. And I'm happy for that. I Moved on too. I'm on the Jennifer Hudson show this week, so I'm doing just fine.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, you're doing pretty fine.

[Nikki Glaser]

But it feels like you're love bombed in a way. Cause it was just like the best time and then it disappears. So I'm just. But I'm obsessed with the show. It was beyond all expectations of how fun it was. It was awesome.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, I will tell you that everyone loved you up at Sarah Lake.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, really?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes. They loved you. Very nice to everyone. They loved you. You were a great host.

[Nikki Glaser]

I had the best time.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You also hosted the Golden Globes for the second time. And it was announced that you'll host again for a third time.

Go, Nikki Grace. That's what I'm talking about.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thanks.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You are great.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thank you. At that job, you've done it. I mean, it's. It's so hard. It's a tough job.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. You can nail it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thank you. So much of it, I have to say, depends on the crowd, the celebrities being able to laugh at themselves. And I work really hard to make sure the jokes are good and the audience at home likes how far I'm going, but that I don't go too far. I don't ruin anyone's night. But there's some jokes that you just don't know until you tell them how they're gonna land. Because the whole night is based off. If you tell a joke, it could be a great joke, but if the other reaction shot is. If they're just like, huh, Then the headlines are, Nikki went too far. You know, like, there was one joke I had that was like. And I don't know if it would have worked, but I took it out because it could have just confused the person it was about. It was, you know, Jean Smart is here, and that is a stage name. You know, her actual name is Corduroy Dumbass. And. Exactly. So it's a little. It's a little bit of a thinker. But if she would have just. If she would have been, like, taking a sip of water or something, it would have just been like, Nikki Glaser calls Dean Smart a dumbass. And it would just. That would've been it. So it was so awesome, though, that the people. So after I do it, I always send flowers to everyone that I made fun of. That was a good sport about it, which was everyone just to say thank you, because it is a part of why I'm successful at it. And the only person who sent something back to me, I did a joke about Leonardo DiCaprio which I was really struggling with because I was like, I just don't wanna make the joke about how he has young girlfriends. It's been done so many times. I mean, it's been. That joke's been going on longer than, you know, his current girlfriend's been alive. It's truly been around forever. And I'm like, I don't want to do it. But then it was like there was nothing else to say about him. And then I was like, well, that's kind of funny. So I was like, let's try to find, like, this guy doesn't reveal anything about himself. Let's find something he's revealed. And so me and my writing team found a Teen beat article from 1991 where he revealed. I was like, leo, we don't know anything about you. You know, the only thing we know about you is from a Teen beat article in 1991 where you told us your favorite food is pasta. Pasta and more past. And it really was real. And then he sent me three baskets of pasta as a thank you. He sent me pasta. Pasta. So funny.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's a good dude.

[Nikki Glaser]

So good.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's funny.

[Nikki Glaser]

And part of me was. Part of me was like, does Leo want to smash? Like. I was like, all right. And then I was like, what do you. If he. The type of girl he goes where he wouldn't send pasta to? Like, it was like a dry pasta. Like, it was. I think the company was like, mena pasta.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Like, oh, no, no.

[Nikki Glaser]

It was. He would have May SpaghettiOs. Maybe I would have been more his type if it was maybe a crib full of, you know, Dunkaroos and go gurt. I would have been like, oh, he's into me. But I made a. He dates young girls. I can't stop. But he. I did a. And I did a joke about Sean Penn looking like a sexy leather handbag. And so I'm waiting for a package from Hermes any day now, but.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Sean, are you watching? Sean, are you listening?

[Nikki Glaser]

Where are you? He's in the Ukraine right now, brokering a peace deal between the Alexes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Backstage, you were telling me that you have an obsession with the new food.

[Nikki Glaser]

I can't stop eating uncrustables. It's my favorite food. Has anyone let this food into their heart in a real way? What? Have you tried them yet?

[Jimmy Fallon]

No.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, my God. Cause I always looked at them like, that would be good. But then I started eating them. I have four a day. They. I started on them because I was babysitting my nephew. And he went to sleep and I took an edible. And so I got into him and I realized, like, they're marketed for little kids, but they're really for high adults is what they're for. And they are so good. And I buy them in bulk because I eat like four to six a day. And so it is awkward, like, going to Target with all the. And there's always the conversation of like, oh, got a lot of kids at home. And I'm like, no, I'm a pedophile. You know, this is my bait. I don't know what to say. It's just an awkward conversation. But they are. You have to try. They're so good. The bread is, like, so soft. And it's like. It is funny because they're like, it's an easy peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's like, oh, yeah. Like. Cause, you know, sometimes you just don't like to cook. And it's like. Cause it's the easiest food made. Even easier. It's like a bidet that, like, poops for you. Like, it's like, it doesn't need to be easier than peanut butter and jelly, but they cut off the crust. The bread is so soft. It's like temper foam material. I think it really is the consistency. I feel like. Like when you ever see, like, a baby's chunky arm and you're like, I just want to bite it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[Nikki Glaser]

And you're like, you can now. It's so good. I have them on me all the time. Even tonight. I have them right now. I. I wear them as shapewear now. They literally work. Look how deflated I am now. Now it's all gone.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow.

[Nikki Glaser]

So this one's for you warmed up. This is the way you should have it. More so. And warm.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I am. I'm honored. I am honored. Thank you so much.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Literally try. I. I want you to get in on that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Very warm.

[Nikki Glaser]

Is it

[Jimmy Fallon]

very warm?

These are strawberry.

Yeah. They're almost toasted.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

How do you do that?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow.

[Nikki Glaser]

If you want grape, I have those in my.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I know, but I need that battery.

[Nikki Glaser]

Pbl.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm bored. I want to talk about. Here, I have a napkin.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's exciting. I want to talk about your very funny new stand up special.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Nikki Glaser. Good girl.

[Nikki Glaser]

Good girl.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Good girl. It's on Hulu. Yep.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Premieres this Friday on Hulu.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yes, it does.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Are you excited?

[Nikki Glaser]

I am. You know, like, I love doing standup. I've always loved it. I loved it because it's like I just get to be a version of myself that I don't get to be anywhere else. And it's so fun to do it live. And it just exists in this little room with these people that saw it live. And then you have to put out a special and you're like, oh, no, everyone's gonna see this. Like, it's kind of like I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm like putting out a sex tape. Like, it's like that vulnerable for me because stand up for me. I'm just like unbridled and I say things that I wouldn't say normally and I make weird faces and weird sounds and it feels almost the same way of like, I like to have sex, but I don't wanna hear anyone be like, that was so funny what you did last night. You know, Like, I don't wanna hear any commentary on it at all. So I am just kind of like off all the. It's very vulnerable for me. But it, it's this act that I've been working on for so long. It's like my most personal thoughts. It's really out there. I almost don't want people to see it. Cause it's so vulnerable. But I think you should because I worked really hard on it. It's really funny and it's gorgeous.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's a really well done, great stand up comedian.

That's how I got to know you. You're amazing.

[Nikki Glaser]

Good girl. Yeah. Thank you, Jen.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Good girl.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Nikki Glaser, everybody. Her stand up special Good Girl premieres this Friday on Hulu. Jesse Tyler Ferguson joins us after the break. Stick around. You are too funny.

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

Me too. Guaranteed to be like having a bull. Yeah, I gotta represent 215.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest is a Tony winning

actor who stars as Truman Capote in the play True at House of the Redeemer here in New York City through May 10th. Please welcome Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

Come on. Hey.

Welcome back. I love having you here.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Love being here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Last time we talked on the show, you, you were excited about. You were having a joint birthday party.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, gosh. Yeah. I turned 50 this year.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Happy birthday. Yeah, let's applaud. Let's applaud for that. He made it. He made it that far. My husband is 10 years younger and turned 40 and we did a big 30, 40 birthday, you know, 10 years ago. And it was like a rager.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And so this year we had a party. We have two kids now and our party started at 3pm and it ended at like 7.

[Comedian Isabel Hagan]

At 7.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And people were kind of making fun of us for doing that. But I was like. But at the end, they're like, this was amazing. But we didn't have any kids at the party, and except for our kids. And at one point, my younger son, Sullivan, sort of fell off this stool. And the closest person next to him. I wasn't near him. It's fine. There was lots of people near him. But the closest person next to him was Joshua Jackson. And so Joshua Jackson picks him up and sort of coddles him, and then my son pees on him. There was that. So I was like, I'm so sorry. And he was like, well, I definitely feel like I've been initiated into your family. But then I was noticing women and gay men, like, I' like Joshua Jackson.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, my.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The vapors.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The vapors, Exactly. I was like, everyone needs to calm down. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I saw that you recently took your kids to go see spelling bee. I did.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's how I think the first time I saw you in that play you originated.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. 20 years ago. Yeah. So there's a revival now. And I was like, well, this would be cool to take my kids to the show that I originated 20 years ago in New York, and I wanted to make a special night out for them, and I, you know, I want to take them to, like, a nice dinner. But then I realized, like, that's just for me. So I took them to McDonald's on 51st and 8, and they were, like, stoked. Yeah. Yeah. But, like, such a. Such a rookie mistake for me because, like, Mitchell from Modern family walks into, like, the most touristy modern fan Matt McDonald's ever.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Everyone's pointing.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Everyone's pointing. I'm, like, signing autographs, you know, as I'm just trying to get Happy meals. And the guy next to us, he actually recognizes me from spelling beef. And so he tells my kids, he's like, you know, your dad. Your papa, like, was one of the originators of the first production of spelling bee. So my kids, you know, took that information into the theater with them, and they were telling all the people around us that I created the show. My papa created this. You know, just there was a laugh. Like, my papa wrote that. It was very sweet. Yeah, that's the best. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And they loved it. They loved it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And the cast, like, they brought us up on stage afterwards, like, having. And so, like, my kids now think that everybody. Broadway show ends with us going up on stage and having the whole audience applauding for us. And, like, they get, like, walk around the stage and like, touch things. Like, this is not normal.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's not normal, guys.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Like, we went to go see Wicked and they're, like, climbing up on the stage at the end. Like, no, no, no, no.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Used.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Stay down there.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, we haven't been invited.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Dad didn't create Wicked.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes. Yeah. Or did I?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, I don't know.

You split your time here between here and la, and you've been in New York for a little while doing this amazing play. What do you do when you're not working around New York?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What do you get into? I work out a lot. Yeah?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I don't know why that's funny. I don't know why that's funny.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my God.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No. I try and keep in shape and, you know, also, I don't have my kids with me right now, so I have some free time. I took advantage of a Pilates class was offered to me on Instagram, and so I was like, I'll take that free Pilates class. Sure. And so I don't know how this happened, but I put the wrong address into my calendar. And so I arrived, you know, with a bike helmet on and little shorts on for my Pilates class. And they go into this building. I was like, this does not look right. I go in. It's a gentleman's club. And I go to the front desk, I'm like, I'm here for a Pilates class. They're like, no, you're not. No, no, no.

[Jimmy Fallon]

A gentleman's club.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

A gentleman's club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like one of those, like. No, I meant not like a strip club, but like, you know, like a Friars Club.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, okay.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, sorry. I should have specified. Yeah, I didn't know. I mean, I don't actually know what goes on in there. Maybe, I don't know, gentlemen's. More of like a gentleman's club with whiskey. Not like a gentleman's club.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Not that.

Not that.

No. You walked in with biker shorts.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was ready. They're like, I don't know. This guy must be serious about his gentleman club experience.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Let's talk about this play. This Is True is the name of the play. And where is it at again?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's at this. It's on the Upper east side on 95th and Park Avenue. It's an old turn of the century, Gilded Age mansion. And I perform it in the library there. It's for 99 people a night. And I play Truman Capote. You walk in and it's my living room. It's Truman Capote's living room, so I interact with the audience, and it's really very special and very cool. This is where you all go.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ooh. Ah. Yes. Look at that.

Oh.

Oh.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

See how close these audience. Although I love. It's a. This guy. When we shot these photos, this guy is falling asleep in, like, all the pictures.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, no.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Does that bum you out?

I mean, do you get to see normally on theater, on stage, you don't see anyone.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. They're having their own experience in the dark. But here I see everything. Like, if you check your watch, I see it. There was a woman. There was a woman who spilled her drink the other day, and she was, like, mopping it up, and she was pulling focus. You know, it's my show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hello.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And everyone was, like, watching this woman, like, mop up her wine. And as Chuma Caputia had to go

[Comedian Isabel Hagan]

over and be like, I have housekeeping coming in later.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Don't worry about it, my dear.

There's so much liquor on this rug.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, my God. Stop her from. But, like, adds the character.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And you dive right in and become Truman Capote. Oh, yeah. It's a great.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, I've watched a lot of videos of him, and I do have, like, little exercises. You know, I do Shakespeare as Truman Capote sometimes just because, you know, that's the type of guy I am. It's fun for you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So, yeah, it's fun.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And as you're doing Truman Capote, do you see more of Truman Capote popping up in your life, like, randomly?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You know, I'm trying to get away from him because he's like. He's everywhere right now. And I'm like. I'm just. I'm kind of tired, to be honest. I love him, but I'm also like, ah. I've had a long day of Truman Capote. So I went home the other day, and I turned on RuPaul's Drag Race.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Good.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

A drag queen. A drag queen was doing Truman Capote.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No way. You're joking.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Jane, don't. Who does a brilliant Truman Capote, by the way? But, yeah, I was like, God damn it. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's everywhere. Yeah. I love that Truman Capote's part of pop culture, and, like, people are being reminded he's a genius. Was a genius. He's no longer with us, but he is. Yeah, but, yeah, he was a genius,

[Jimmy Fallon]

but what an experience this is for 99 people to sit in a room, and you just. Do you Just enter as Truman Capote.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I just enter as Truman capote and for 90 minutes you're just sitting in the space with me as Truman Capote. And it's really. It's quite something. It's a beautiful play. Yeah, I'm loving it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It just got extended, right?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It just got extended. I just got nominated for a drama league.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What are you talking about? Come on. What are you talking about? Congratulations.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What am I doing? What am I doing? Why am I doing this?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Whatever you're doing, he's doing very cool. Very, very cool.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes. No, it's a little. It's a joy to do and I'm very excited. People are loving it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So congratulations on all the great reviews. Thanks for coming on the show. Thank you. Jesse.

Tyler Ferguson True is playing at House

of the Redeemer in New York City through May 10th. More tonight, Joe, after the break. Stick around.

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

White doves at my doorstep what comes around moves around like the vortex in competition.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest is a talented actress,

you know as Dr. Melissa King on the pit.

Season two.

Season two is streaming now on HBO. Max. Please welcome Taylor Dearden, everybody.

Taylor, welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me.

Congratulations on the pit. Oh my gosh. Is it a giant hit?

We love it.

Everyone loves your character, Dr. Mel King, one of the most beloved characters on television, I would say. Congratulations on that.

[Taylor Dearden]

Thank you very much.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How does it feel to be part of a giant hit show?

[Taylor Dearden]

It's definitely odd. Yeah, I think. Cause you know, as an actor we expect to not ever work and if we do, it's like, oh my God, that's great. And then we expect it to end. And so I think the whole that people are actually watching it thing is just kind of new.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, it's fantastic. Good for you. Do you watch the week to week? Would you ever watch yourself?

[Taylor Dearden]

I don't really like watching myself, but I have to cause my mom wants me to tell her when to not look.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wait, your mom wants you to tell you when to not look?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Taylor Dearden]

So I have to sit next to her and like poke her to look down and then look up again while watching the show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Like the gory parts?

[Taylor Dearden]

Yeah, all the gore. And it's funny cause she'll get really mad at me if I miss it. If I'm like a little late, I'm like, oh, sorry, don't look. And she'll get mad at me and I'm like, I wasn't in the scene. I don't remember what happened.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I wasn't there.

Mom used to do that. Yeah. I can't now. You have to watch the show and then watch it again with your mom. Yeah, yeah. Of course. There's one scene in particular from last week's finale that, as everyone was talking about. This is you doing karaoke. That was fantastic. Dr. King, Dr. Trinity Santos, you were singing Alanis Morissette's you Ought to Know, and you crushed it.

[Taylor Dearden]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

When you first read this scene in the script, what's your reaction?

[Taylor Dearden]

Well, it actually wasn't in the script. And so at the last episode, we're all, like, doing our charts and scanning and shredding stuff. And Issa was sitting across from me, and she goes, what are you gonna wear for the karaoke thing? And I was like, I don't.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What karaoke?

[Taylor Dearden]

What you're talking about. This is a medical drama. I don't know if you know that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Taylor Dearden]

And she was like, there's a thing coming up. And it wasn't in the script. And I got the script and I read it. I'm like, what is happening? And then I asked Scott, who created our show, Scott Gemmill. And he's like, oh, yeah, we might do something. And that's, like, all I got.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We might do something.

Do you do karaoke in real life?

[Taylor Dearden]

No, I'm afraid to sing.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You're afraid to sing?

[Taylor Dearden]

I'm afraid to sing, yes. Really?

[Jimmy Fallon]

So if you went to a kara. Well, you wouldn't go to a karaoke.

[Taylor Dearden]

I wouldn't, but I feel like there's something that is different when it's, like, a character. Cause then it's not really me. I don't know why, but I've been told I was a terrible singer for a lot of my life.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. It's good to hear it out.

[Taylor Dearden]

I just think it's funny.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No. Well, dude, you did pretty great in this singing. Alanis Morissette, I will tell you that.

[Taylor Dearden]

Feel the angst.

[Jimmy Fallon]

In fact, Alanis Morissette herself posted paging Dr. Santa's Dr. King.

You got the thumbs up.

[The Roots (possibly Tariq 'Black Thought' Trotter or another band member)]

You got the.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You got the thumbs up for the one and only Alanis Morris set. Come on. That's gotta feel good. It's everything. That's gotta feel good.

[Taylor Dearden]

It's amazing.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Taylor Dearden]

I just got a text from Issa that said, we did it. And then it was that screenshot, and I was like, yes, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, we did do it. There's another memorable musical moment in the show, but this time it was with our pal Megan Thee stallion. Which one was tougher. Doing karaoke as Alanis or doing Megan thee stallion.

[Taylor Dearden]

I think actually Megan thee stallion. Because I shouldn't have any rhythm. And so it's kind of hard to just like, make it more mantra sounding. But I don't know. We had a blast. I have a blast doing that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Yeah. You do such a great job on the show. I always love it when anyone's on a medical show. I have him on the show and I go, do you know any terms? Did people treat you like a doctor? Do people ask you questions? And hey, will you look at this?

[Taylor Dearden]

Yes. Which is always like, you don't want anyone to just say, I have a

[Nikki Glaser]

growth and just kind of show you

[Taylor Dearden]

like, oh, God, I'm an actor.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. So you don't know. You don't give out at all.

No.

[Taylor Dearden]

But also my family has started texting me. They should know that I don't know. But it's for some reason, too. Every time they text, it's like, okay, I do know that one. All right. But stop texting me that one.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I do know.

Yeah.

[Taylor Dearden]

The rest is what I definitely don't know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm an actor. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Taylor Dearden, everybody. Taylor Dearden. The Pit is streaming now on hbo. Max, come on back. My thanks to Nikki Glazer, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Ella Stiller and the Roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody. Thank you.

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts, Watch the

[Barry Jones (White House staffer)]

the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.