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Jimmy Fallon
From Studio 6P in Rockhammella center in the heart of New York City, it's the Tonight show. Starring Jimmy Bowser. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Tonight, I joined Jimmy and his guests, Helen Mirren and Pierce Proud, Kristen Miliotti, Matthew Barrett, comedians Bonnie McHarman and Beatrice Steve legendary 2172. And now give me. Thank you very much. Enjoy yourself.
Enjoy yourself. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the Tonight Show.
Thank you.
Thank you for watching. Well, guys, President Trump announced that in a few days, he's going to meet with Vladimir Putin in Alaska. Yeah. Putin has come all the way to the US to meet with Trump. He was like, ugh, this could have been a hacked email. It's a big deal. Putin is gonna spend all week deciding what shirts not to pack. Trump loves talking about keeping criminal foreigners out of the country. Now he's like, vladimir Putin, come on over. Come on. Stay with me. But Putin is excited today. He told Trump, in Russia, we also have hunting wives, but they chase bear with knife. Trump also said he believes that he has a chance at organizing a trilateral meeting with Putin and Zelensky. Last time Trump had a trilateral meeting was on Epstein Island.
Wow. Wow.
Some more news from the White House. Today, Trump announced that he might classify marijuana as a less dangerous drug. Apparently, Trump made the decision after meeting with the CEOs of Papa John's White Castle and Taco Bell.
Come on, dude.
This is solid, man. Trump doesn't know a lot about weed. For him, hotboxing is when he gets locked in his tanning bed. He doesn't know anything about weed? No. For Trump, 420 is what he weighed at his last physical. I mean, he doesn't know. He doesn't know anything about weed. For Trump, dope is his nickname for Eric. I mean, he doesn't know. He doesn't know him. Nickname. Yep. This week, Trump's meeting with Putin in our country and reclassifying marijuana. It's called Operation Baked Alaska. You guys see this? Trump just deployed the National Guard to help fight crime in D.C. you never know with Trump. D.C. could mean Washington, Diet Coke, or Dean Cain. You don't know. Trump announced he's sending in the National Guard, the FBI, and the K Pop Demon hunters. Well, switching gears, the UFC announced that they're leaving ESPN for paramount right now. ESPN's like, you're leaving me for him? All right, I saw that. Hulu just dropped a teaser for their upcoming film swiped about the creation of the dating app Bumble. Of course, when the actual movie comes out, it Won't be nearly as good as the teaser. I'll give you a second on that one. Well, listen to this. Apparently AOL just eliminated their dial up Internet service. Right now. Newark Airport is like great, now how are we going to land the plane? No dial up.
Get off the phone.
Finally, guys, there's always new polls coming out every day and the results can be pretty interesting. I'll show you what I mean. It's time for tonight's show polls. Here we go. This first poll asks what is the biggest problem facing the country. 3% said foreign conflict. 4% said climate change. 93% said jeans commercials. This next poll asks what's the most important school supply. 70% said pencil. 25% said glue stick. And every sixth grade teacher said flask. Flask. This next poll asks what's the biggest sign that someone is a liar? 5% said they can't maintain eye contact. 5% said they contradict themselves. 90% said they text you. Sorry, just saw your text just now.
Yeah, yeah, I didn't see it.
Next poll asked, do you use ChatGPT? 25% said no. 75% said I do use ChatGPT because of the sheer breadth and depth of the system offers whether it needs nuanced explanation or a structured organizer of my thoughts. And ChatGPT is remarkably adaptive companion. Would you like this as answer as a downloadable PDF? And this last one asks do you wear Invisalign? 85% said I don't. 15% said is this that obvious?
That's all the time we have for tonight's show. Polls Evans Ray show. Give it up for the ruthless demo.
Helen Mirren
Let me check it out to got me master vibes It's a booth pool minded 215 gotta poetry and that's my everyday but I gotta stop when you drop my weight.
Jimmy Fallon
Take your welcome to the show everybody. Thank you for being here.
Quick reminder, voting is still open for our latest Fallon Book club. That's where we all pick a book to read. We all read it together. So if there's a book you'd like to see us read, go to Ellen book club on Instagram and let us know. Your pick could be the winning book. Yeah it's gonna be fun. Wednesday I have I'm excited. I'm debuting another a tomato tonight.
Oh my gosh.
That I've grown in my garden. Yes, this is number two. This is a big deal. Yeah this is a different variety. I bought two plants. One is called the Beefmaster which we saw last week. Which yes, very interesting small this one is called the celebrity Ooh. So celebrity tomato. I spent all summer watering it, talking to it, putting fertilizer on it, pruning it. Pruning it. I got pruning shears just to prune it. Yeah, just to. It's like expensive scissors. Very expensive. They are. Yeah. And I've been doing it, and I've kind of. So I brought it tonight, and I'm gonna. It's a celebrity tomato, and I'm gonna offer Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan if they'd like to make a salsa. Oh, fresh salsa. That would be a pretty big tomato to make salsa with it. Well, I'll let you see. I'm gonna show you three tomatoes. Right. Two are store bought. Okay. And one is mine that I grown organically, but it's personal tomato that I spent all summer probably almost nearing $100 on this one tomato. Yeah, that's what. That's. Because it's worth. Economics do not pay off. Yeah. Now, all right. Now you can. You can tell, right? So here we go. All right. Okay. Tomato. Oh, that is a tomato. One of these. One of these three. It's not store bought, right? One of these are grown. Yeah. One of these are grown in my house, and I spent a lot of. You know, maybe it's not the best angle for all of them. Right. You know, maybe this is a better angle, but one of them is mine. So can you choose, do you think? I think I know which one's yours. Ok, well, let's just. All right, so it's. So it's obviously. Switch them up.
I'll close my eyes.
All right. Come on. When you're ready. All right, Here you go. Ready? Yes. Almost identical, right? I don't want you to choose. Okay. I'm not gonna give you. I don't want you to choose. I'll choose for you. This one in the middle is mine. That is the celebrity tomato. Very excited about. But I thought since I spent all summer on this guy and the salsa is not gonna be that much, we might have to split a chip. Right. But it's a celebrity tomato. And so I thought maybe if it's a celebrity, we should name it. Ooh. So I want your help naming the celebrity tomato. All right, we have three choices. Ready? Is it maybe a drum roll? Marissa? Tomato. Is it demi tomahto?
Oh, I like that.
Or is it Timothy Chalameto? Timothy Chalamet.
Helen Mirren
Chalameda.
Jimmy Fallon
Timothy Chalameta.
This is demi tomato. That's it. That's it right there. Come on.
I love you demi tomato. And we're gonna have some. This is a Demi tomorrow. Later on. Yeah, it's perfect. So we'll see you later in the show and you're gonna do your thing. It's gonna be fun, guys. What a great show we have for you tonight. You can see them together in the new film the Thursday Murder Club, which premieres Aug. 28 on Netflix. Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan are here.
It's good. I like it.
She received an Emmy nomination for her role in the hit series the Penguin, which is streaming now on hbo. Max Cristin Miliotti is joining us. Fantastic. In the Penguins. He hosts the fantasy football happy hour on Peacock. You can also catch him September 4th on Football Night in America as the NFL season kicks off on NBC. And Peacock. Matthew Berry is here for any fantasy football needs.
And we got great standoff from Bonnie McFarlane. Yes. Stick around. We'll be right back with Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan.
Pierce Brosnan
Everybo.
Helen Mirren
Take it out then. Now we're tuned to the sounds of a sound wave mastermind. Pass the time. Had to find a new method. Time after time, right?
Jimmy Fallon
Our first guests are two of the greatest acting icons. They starred together in the new film the Thursday Murder Club, which premieres August 28th on Netflix. Please welcome Helen Mirren and Pierce Rosnith. A standing ovation. Why not? Of course. For you guys. Welcome back to the show and thank you so much for coming on together. You know, I love both of you guys and I can't wait to talk about your new movie.
Kristin Miliotti
It's so nice to see you live. Last time I saw you, you were just an image on the screen.
Jimmy Fallon
You were nice enough to come on our show. In fact, I brought a picture of it because it was during the pandemic and you zoomed in. And what I loved about it is you were taking a bubble bath during the interview.
Pierce Brosnan
Look at you.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, that's fantastic. The first time done on national television.
Kristin Miliotti
I think I thought might as well be comfy.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Why not? Of course.
Kristin Miliotti
Might not be comfy. Chatting to James Pierce.
Jimmy Fallon
Are you a bubble bather?
Pierce Brosnan
I've been known to have bubble baths in the days of Remington Steele and doing People magazine and being introduced to America. You know, you do a lot of daft things.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Pierce Brosnan
One of them was me having a bubble bath with a three piece suit on.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, see, that's.
That's a good. I get it.
Pierce Brosnan
That's it.
Jimmy Fallon
Are you guys into gardening at all?
Kristin Miliotti
We are.
Jimmy Fallon
We're also into not to set a Segue.
Kristin Miliotti
We are very much so. Tomatoes, Tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes and chickens. And we share a chicken thing as well, don't we?
Pierce Brosnan
We've started chickens at home in Kauai.
Helen Mirren
Chickens.
Jimmy Fallon
That's the next level.
Kristin Miliotti
But also tomato obsession. Absolutely. And I was just watching you talking about your beautiful tomato.
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you.
Kristin Miliotti
It was gorgeous. It was clearly the better tomato.
Jimmy Fallon
It was.
Kristin Miliotti
Oh, no, thank you.
Jimmy Fallon
No, absolute. It was a little tomato.
It was a little tomato. It was red. It was a little.
Kristin Miliotti
It was gorgeous red. I was wondering, really tasty.
Jimmy Fallon
If you'd be. If you honor me, if I made you a salsa. Fresh salsa.
Pierce Brosnan
One tomato.
Jimmy Fallon
The only one. The only one, Yeah. I have a kit.
Kristin Miliotti
You can't kill Demi.
Jimmy Fallon
I know. It's.
Kristin Miliotti
You can't.
Jimmy Fallon
No, it's not killing Demi tomato.
Kristin Miliotti
It's killing Demi tomato.
Jimmy Fallon
No, no, no.
Matthew Berry
She's.
Kristin Miliotti
You'll be cutting her in half.
Jimmy Fallon
She's a legend. She's a legend. I have ingredients here for.
Kristin Miliotti
Incidentally, I just want to give you a tip about growing tomatoes.
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you.
Kristin Miliotti
You know the little flower?
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Kristin Miliotti
Well, a good way to get a tomato out of a flower is you have to tremble the flower like this. You have to go like this with the flower. Did you know that?
Jimmy Fallon
Stop doing that. What's going on? I don't know what's going on.
Kristin Miliotti
No, no, it's a legit.
Jimmy Fallon
What's happening.
Kristin Miliotti
It's legitimate. It's a legitimate.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm not doing that at all. Tomatoes, you've got to. Killing it is one thing. Doing that is something else.
Kristin Miliotti
A tomato is a bisexual thing, you see. Well, it is. I looked it up very recently because I had a problem with my tomatoes. So it's bisexual. So you have to go around to each tomato, each flower, and go like this.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes, I got you. I understand, I understand. Yes, I understand. Each one. All right.
Kristin Miliotti
But anyway, I'm going to do that.
Jimmy Fallon
I need help.
Kristin Miliotti
Lovely tomato. Can I smell it?
Jimmy Fallon
Yes, of course. It's the freshest smell. Nice.
Pierce Brosnan
Has it got a good bouquet?
Jimmy Fallon
Really? No, not really, but it's going to be the freshest. All right, so we slice it here.
Kristin Miliotti
You've got all the gear?
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, I have stuff like. What do you.
Kristin Miliotti
Yes, A big knife.
Jimmy Fallon
It's a very big knife. Oh, John. What? No, it's not the real. It's just. It's what it's here for.
Pierce Brosnan
It's just a tomato.
Jimmy Fallon
It's just. It's what. It's here. All right, Here we go. Don't make it. It's not bad. It Looks good.
Kristin Miliotti
Looks beautiful.
Jimmy Fallon
All right, male or female? I don't know. I don't know What. All right, now what to do is. Here.
Pierce Brosnan
Oh, I see.
Jimmy Fallon
All right, here we go. So I'll cut it up like this. Right.
Kristin Miliotti
How can you be so cruel? I'm amazed.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm not being cruel. My gosh. All right, so it's kind of. This is going to be very exciting. I really think this is going to make a great salsa.
Pierce Brosnan
Seemed like a good idea this morning.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes, it did. Yes. Yes. Thank you, Pierce.
Thank you, Pierce.
Go with it, Pierce. Go with it, Pierce. All right. There you go. Okay. That's not fair.
Kristin Miliotti
Salsa.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. And so I'm gonna put a little bit of garlic. All right. I'm gonna put some onion in it. Of course.
Kristin Miliotti
Lovely.
Jimmy Fallon
Jalapeno. Cilantro. A little cilantro. Yes.
Kristin Miliotti
Gorgeous. And then a squeeze of lime.
Jimmy Fallon
Squeeze of lime, yeah.
Pierce Brosnan
Do we get tequila with this or anything?
Jimmy Fallon
No, it's not a shot.
This is salsa. And I'm gonna put a little crunchy salt. Look at that. Mix it up with this. This is gonna be un. That's beautiful.
Pierce Brosnan
Oh, that's lovely. Mouth watering.
Jimmy Fallon
It's mouth watering. It's gonna go down. This is very. I gotta. Yes.
Kristin Miliotti
Look, you're messing up your pants.
Jimmy Fallon
Sorry. That's right. Sorry. Like that helps it. Sorry. That's how. I don't have a napk. Anything. I didn't know it was going to get that messy. All right, we're going to give you my sc. Now, I have a nice. So chill chip right here with cholula, and then you're going to have to split it. I think we'll have enough for. No, not. There we go.
Pierce Brosnan
Thank you.
Kristin Miliotti
Really good.
Jimmy Fallon
Really.
Kristin Miliotti
Oh, fabulous.
Jimmy Fallon
No, seriously, fabulous.
Kristin Miliotti
Really good.
Jimmy Fallon
Very good.
Not bad. Thank you. Thank you for honoring me and letting me do that. That was fresh and delicious, right?
Kristin Miliotti
I mean, a noble death.
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you. Yeah. Yes, a noble death. Yes.
Thank you. I'll agree with that.
That's what I'm talking about. That's a real fan right there. I love Helen Mirren. You are the. Come on. I want to talk about Thursday, Murder Club.
Pierce Brosnan
I'm fine. I'm really good. I don't do hot sauce or jalapenos. No, not really.
Jimmy Fallon
Sorry.
He's joking. All right. No. Okay.
No, it's okay. Fine. Just car. Sorry.
Do you have water for Pierson? I do have water. All right, good. It's okay.
Pierce Brosnan
Just pretending.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes. Thursday, Murder Club. It's a charming. It is a mystery movie. It Is so well done. Well directed, by the way. Chris Columbus.
Kristin Miliotti
Chris Columbus.
Jimmy Fallon
Fabulous Columbus. He's brilliant. The whole cast is great. Basically, it's a senior living home and they have a group called the Thursday Murder Club, where they get together and solve, like, cold cases or things that they're interested in. And then someone actually dies. Yes. And it's at the home. Involved with the home.
Pierce Brosnan
It's delightful. It's a hoot. It's got lots of heart and great cast.
Kristin Miliotti
Funny, funny, funny characters.
Jimmy Fallon
But it was great to see this because I've been watching you guys in Mobland and man, you were evil. Yeah. Fantastic. Maeve, Conrad, you're both fantastic in that. And so evil. Thank you. Aw. Of course, yes.
Pierce Brosnan
Jalapeno kisses.
Jimmy Fallon
My God. But to go from that, by the way, it's been picked up for season two. Congrats. It's a great show. You're so great in that. To go from there to this funny movie.
Kristin Miliotti
But, you know, the great thing about Thursday Motor Club was that we all kind of knew each other. I mean, I'd worked with Ben. Sir Beth.
Jimmy Fallon
Sir Ben.
Pierce Brosnan
Yeah, Sir Ben.
Kristin Miliotti
In the theater when we were like in our early 20s. So we knew each other really, really well. Celia I've worked with before, she was in Calendar Girl. She's brill. Piers, of course, we'd been many years ago in the film together. We hadn't actually worked together.
Jimmy Fallon
We'd been in a movie.
Pierce Brosnan
My first movie actually. Long Good Friday with Helen and Bob Hoskins.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, yeah.
Pierce Brosnan
A great gangster movie, actually.
Kristin Miliotti
Great gangster movie. But we never actually worked together. But it was like the coming together of a group of people who'd been to college together or something. There was incredible closeness.
Jimmy Fallon
You can feel it. You can feel chemistry.
Pierce Brosnan
It definitely comes the ground running on the very first day, you know, and we just sat around, had a lovely cups of tea and then did a bit of acting.
Jimmy Fallon
And yeah, it's based off the series of books and it's well written and it's fun and you're all gonna love it.
Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosnan, everybody. The Thursday Murder Club premieres August 28th on Netflix. More Tonight show after the break. Stick around, everybody.
Helen Mirren
Mercy, kill, mercy. Hitting the same system never amateur to me I got the soul of a young Sam Cooke. When I'm gonna make you turn it up.
Jimmy Fallon
Our next guest is a GR.
Emmy winning performer who just received an Emmy nomination for her role in the hit series the Penguin, which is streaming now on hbo. Max. Please welcome Kristin Miliotti. I was Going in for a hug. I'm sorry.
Matthew Berry
Oh, my God. I didn't see. Because I was so afraid I was going to fall.
Jimmy Fallon
No, you didn't fall. Okay. No, you didn't fall.
Matthew Berry
It's a long skirt.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. No. Welcome back to the show. I'm so happy every time you come on the show. It's great.
Matthew Berry
I love beanie.
Jimmy Fallon
The last time you were here, we were talking about the Penguin. It was about to come out.
Matthew Berry
It was about to come out.
Jimmy Fallon
And now you're nominated for an Emmy. Congrats. You've knocked it out of the park.
So have it.
Thanks.
Matthew Berry
It's very cool.
Jimmy Fallon
You crushed it.
Oh, my gosh. I've got to talk about. Also, you were great in Black Mirror. Oh, you. Thank.
Matthew Berry
Thank you.
Jimmy Fallon
People who loved you in that too. That's a big year for you.
Matthew Berry
Yeah, it's been a very, very cool year. It's beyond my wildest dreams. It's been so cool.
Jimmy Fallon
I want to read some reviews, if you don't mind me talking about you, about the Penguin, because it says Cristin Milioti made Sofia Falcone an all time TV villain. That was amazing.
Matthew Berry
My mom wrote that one.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Berry
She got on there.
Jimmy Fallon
She's a fan. She loves it.
Matthew Berry
She got on there.
Jimmy Fallon
Turns out she likes it.
Matthew Berry
Yeah, she's a great writer.
Jimmy Fallon
The Penguin became the Sofia Falcone Show.
Matthew Berry
My aunt.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes. Cristen Milioti steals the Penguin as Sofia Falcone, my dad and Cristin Miliotti's Batman villain. That's going to haunt you for years to come, my brother. There you go. The family's very supportive. Yeah.
Matthew Berry
That was the way they got access to our family thread.
Jimmy Fallon
Everyone is loving it. What's the best reaction you've gotten so far?
Matthew Berry
Oh, my God. I mean, the reactions have been so meaningful. I'm stopped by so many people on the street who are so lovely. So many people who tell me that they don't really like. They're not Batman people, but that they started to watch the show and it sucked them in.
Jimmy Fallon
It is interesting because it is kind of like. It's almost like if you don't even know anything about the comic book world.
Matthew Berry
Yeah. You don't need to know.
Jimmy Fallon
No.
Matthew Berry
Get sort of. Yeah. Transported and I had a very meaningful interaction. I was at the Joni Mitchell Hollywood bowl show, which was astonishing. And a woman stopped me in the bathroom. She's maybe in her 70s. And she just gently touched my arm and she. She like looked me right in the eyes and she went, I love Sofia so much. I love her. And then squeezed my arm and I started crying.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh.
See?
Matthew Berry
Cause it just, like. It just meant so much, you know?
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Matthew Berry
And I don't know. I mean, maybe she was a huge Batman fan.
Jimmy Fallon
I don't know. No, no.
Matthew Berry
But, like, it's been really, really lovely. And it's been lovely to be a part of a show that I loved making so much and that people have received with love. So that's great.
Jimmy Fallon
But you could tell how much work went into this show, too, as well. Yeah.
Matthew Berry
And all of our departments got recognized, too, which is so incredible.
Jimmy Fallon
Got, like, 24 Emmy nominations, so. Yeah. Congratulations. That's am.
Bonnie McFarlane
Oh, my God.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. Where were you when you found out that you were nominated?
Matthew Berry
You know, I was very anxious that day because you don't know. You just don't know what to do with yourself. Cause you're like, well, you know, it's happening. You know it's happening. Everyone's like, moo.
Jimmy Fallon
Tomorrow.
Matthew Berry
And you're like, shut up.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. You're like, I know what tomorrow is.
Yeah. Don't make me nervous.
Matthew Berry
And you're just also trying to be like, listen. Who knows? Like, could happen.
Jimmy Fallon
We don't know.
Matthew Berry
You start scatting. You don't know.
Jimmy Fallon
So I. Yeah.
Matthew Berry
Skibidi bop skilly beep. And I went to. I just was like, I'm not gonna look at my phone. I'm gonna run errands, and I'm gonna ignore it until it's, like, hour. Like, maybe, like an hour past the time I'm, like, aware of.
Jimmy Fallon
Smart.
Matthew Berry
And so I was in a pharmacy.
Jimmy Fallon
Okay.
Matthew Berry
And I took my phone out of the bag, and I had, like, 100 texts and missed calls, and I just.
Jimmy Fallon
That could be a good or a bad thing.
Matthew Berry
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
I thought it was good.
They don't know what they're talking about. You were robbed. You were robbed. Exactly.
Matthew Berry
Of just people being like, oh, man. Over and over.
Jimmy Fallon
That's not fair, man. They were great.
Matthew Berry
Hey, dude. Sorry.
Jimmy Fallon
Sorry, man. Get him next year.
Exactly.
Matthew Berry
So then I just kind of, like. I took that in, I put it back in the bag, and then I, like, you know, bought shampoo.
Jimmy Fallon
You get nominated for an Emmy and you buy shampoo.
Matthew Berry
You still have to buy shampoo.
Jimmy Fallon
You still gotta buy shampoo. Congratulations, Daniel. Thank you. So, so, so good. Thanks. You're phenomenal.
Matthew Berry
Thank you.
Jimmy Fallon
And it's kind of fun because I heard kind of. It's a full circle moment for you.
Matthew Berry
Yes.
Jimmy Fallon
Because. What.
Matthew Berry
When I was 14 and I don't know if this Was legal, which. That's a crazy way to start that.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes.
Matthew Berry
I worked at a party supply store, you know, like a party city.
Jimmy Fallon
Sure.
Matthew Berry
And I was so excited. Cause I was excited to have a job. And I think I had this vision that I would be, like, making balloon animals and, like, handing them off.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. It's party city.
Matthew Berry
It's party city.
Jimmy Fallon
Hello.
Matthew Berry
And, like, helping people.
Jimmy Fallon
Hey.
Matthew Berry
Exactly. I had, like, a vision of me, like, skipping through aisles, helping people choose their costumes or something. Like, I was gonna have, like, creative input, and instead they had me in the back. Where. And it was called Party Warehouse. And they had me in the warehouse part.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, you didn't experience the party?
Matthew Berry
Didn't experience the party. Yeah. I was not allowed at the party.
Jimmy Fallon
Party Warehouse.
Not allowed.
A warehouse. Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew Berry
Probably because I was, like, not allowed to work there. And they had me on, like, a giant rolling ladder, like in Beauty and the Beast. Like what Belle rides in the library against.
Jimmy Fallon
I know exactly what you're talking. Yeah.
Matthew Berry
And this is way less joyful than that. And I would go up the ladder, and I would have to unload these boxes that were full of, like, actually, like, really good, like, high quality, but very heavy, thick rubber Batman masks. Like, giant boxes of them. And I'd have to, like, take them down the ladder. And my boss was a guy who would smoke indoors again, different time. And he had a teardrop tattoo.
Jimmy Fallon
What?
Bonnie McFarlane
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
In a warehouse.
Matthew Berry
And a long braid. And he would, like, walk by and he'd be like, you missed a box. Like, it was like, you know, sounds.
Jimmy Fallon
Like a character that can go to the penguins.
Matthew Berry
Honestly, he could be on the penguin.
Jimmy Fallon
It's true.
Wow.
Matthew Berry
And he had, like, a long. Yeah, he had a long braid down to the long braid.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Matthew Berry
And he wore flip flops. And I would just like. Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
What a character.
Matthew Berry
I know.
Jimmy Fallon
He's right. That should be illegal.
Yeah. Yeah, that's illegal.
That was the part that whole. Everything you just described was illegal.
Matthew Berry
Was, like, always unloading these giant Batman mounts. It was wild. Look at.
Jimmy Fallon
Look at you now.
Matthew Berry
I'm in a skirt I almost tripped on.
Jimmy Fallon
Look at you now. I'm putting these for the penguin.
Helen Mirren
Yes.
Jimmy Fallon
Congratulations, by the way. Couldn't happen to a nicer person. And you're just awesome.
That's how you do it. That's how you do it. Cristian Milioti the Penguin is streaming now on hbo. Max. We'll be right back with more tonight. So stick around, everybody.
Helen Mirren
Yeah. Kiss my baby girl. Tell my lady I'm Going to show what I got.
Jimmy Fallon
Our next guest is the host of.
Fantasy Football Happy Hour on Peacock. You can also catch him September 4th on Football Night in America as the NFL season kicks off on NBC. And Peacock, please welcome Matthew Berry.
Matthew, welcome back, bud.
Matthew Berry
Thank you very much, Jimmy. You say welcome back?
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Matthew Berry
This is my second time on the Tonight show, so I have a very important question to you.
Jimmy Fallon
Sure.
Matthew Berry
Am I now a Tonight show regular?
Jimmy Fallon
Wow. Yes.
You. Of course. Yes. That's it. Of course you are. You're a regular.
You're a regular. Yes, regular Matthew Berry, Tonight show regular.
Of course.
We'll get into talking about football, fantasy football and all this stuff, and I want all of your advice. I have to ask you tons of questions. But first, you were George Carlin's assistant.
Matthew Berry
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
I want to know stories about that.
Matthew Berry
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
Because I love George Carlin. Here's a.
Matthew Berry
So my first job out of college. That's me at 22 years old.
Jimmy Fallon
Look.
Matthew Berry
Yeah, look at a lot of hair. Lot of hair sets. George and his wife Brenda.
Jimmy Fallon
How was George?
Matthew Berry
Amazing. I loved. Loved working for him. He's the sweetest guy. I'm actually his assistant on the George Carlin show, which was a sitcom he did a while back, right?
Jimmy Fallon
Yep.
Matthew Berry
And after the show, one day I say to him, I say, hey, listen, two of my best friends from high school are coming out to visit me, and I'm bringing them to the show tonight. Do you mind if whatever you need me to do after the show, I take care of now, George? Because I want to show him around the stage after the show and everything like that.
Jimmy Fallon
Like.
Matthew Berry
Yeah, I mean, he would, like, he would have me, you know, grab his, you know, his wife and kid, you know, and his daughter Kelly and bring them down or get him food, get him a snack after, whatever, Right. You know?
Jimmy Fallon
Sure is.
Matthew Berry
Right. So whatever he needed me to do, whatever errands he needed me to run, I was his assistant. So anyway, he's like, yeah, yeah, sure. He tells me what he needs me to do. Okay, fine. So after the show, I'm showing my friends around, and all of a sudden, George walks up and he's like, matthew, are these your friends? And I'm like, yeah. Sean and Cindy. George Carlin. George Carlin, Sean and Cindy. And he goes, you know, I consult with Matthew every single day. I get his laundry, Jimmy. I mean, like, you know, I mean, like. Like, I'm the gruntiest of grunts. I'm the lowest of the low on this show.
Jimmy Fallon
Loving this stuff.
Matthew Berry
But George gives me the Big sell. He's just like. I consult with him every day. He's a key cog of the show. We couldn't do the show without him. He's gonna be a big star, you know. And I'm like. And they're, you know, all of a sudden, my friends who knew me as a moron in high school, like, their eyes get wide. Aren't Matthew. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so he's got signed scripts. Signed the script that we did that night, he's like. And hands it out, and he's like, take a picture. Let's take a picture, right? Everything. Like. So he spends like five minutes with us. They're floating on air. Next day, I go to him, I'm like, george, oh my God, that was amazing. And he says. He says, listen, Matthew, you're a nice kid. You work your ass up. I'm happy to do it. But honestly, he goes, for the rest of your friend's life. The next time my name comes up, they'll be like, you know, I met Carlin once, who's actually kind of a nice guy. As opposed to. Oh, yeah, I ran into Carlin once. Wouldn't even sign an autograph for me. 30 seconds of my life for a lifetime fan. I will make that trade every single day. You always bring anyone you need me to meet, you bring them to me.
Jimmy Fallon
Really? It's a great story.
Matthew Berry
Unbelievable. And he meant it, and he lived it, and I saw it. And listen, obviously not that I'm anywhere in the same universe as a legend like George Carlin, but I am well known to a specific group of people, right? And so anytime somebody comes up to me and wants to talk about their fantasy team or wants a photo or a trash talk video for the league, I always do it because I remember George's words. Like, it's always stayed with me.
Jimmy Fallon
Good for you. I love that you did that. That's great. Thank you.
Matthew Berry
Thank you. I miss him. I loved working for him.
Jimmy Fallon
I wish I got to know him. Speaking of people asking for you get asked. I mean. I mean, I've known you for years, but everywhere we go, someone will come up to you and go, hey, what do you think of this? You must get it everywhere, everywhere you go. This is from a restaurant. Someone handed you a napkin. Yeah. Need help, Mr. Barry? Trade offer. Yeah. Circle the W, right? Yeah. Chris McCaffrey, big fan.
Matthew Berry
Upstairs, Chris McCaffrey and Jamar Chase for Derek Henry and a bunch of other players as well. Me and my co host on fantasy football Happy hour producers were hanging Out. And all of a sudden, waiter brings a huge round of drinks and we're like, you know, this is on the house. And we're like, what? And he drops that napkin, you know. Well, now we have to answer it.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Matthew Berry
Yeah, well, and we said to him, and he said, just circle the W. I'm like, oh, no, no, no. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right. Get that guy down here. I gotta know his scoring system. Is this a keeper league or a one year league? What's the rest of his roster look like? We're gonna do this, right?
Jimmy Fallon
So you sat him down and talked to him.
Matthew Berry
He came down, he grabbed a drink and we're like, let's figure this out. Let's talk about that.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, yeah. You're a very busy man. Your company, Fantasy Life, by the way, congratulations on this. Thank you very much. Yeah. Got some great investors. Congratulations. This is a big deal.
Matthew Berry
Oh, it really is. We have a ton of huge name investors. We're so thrilled that so many people that I admire believe in what we're building there. We bought a brand, guillotineleagues.com, go check it out. It's an incredibly fun way to play fantasy football. If you go to that site and if you play fantasy football.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Matthew Berry
Go to FantasyLife.com, you sign up for a free email. I send out a free email every single day. Look, if you don't like it, you can unsubscribe. But just, I'm telling you, you give the best advice. It comes to your email every single month.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm going to ask you for some.
Matthew Berry
Fantasy Life to cut.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. Let's go. Okay, good.
Matthew Berry
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
If you're lucky enough to have the first overall pick in the draft. Who are you drafting?
Matthew Berry
Jamar Chase, the guy that was on the COVID of the magazine we just showed.
Jimmy Fallon
Okay.
Matthew Berry
Proud Fantasy Life investor, Ja' Marr Chase. By the way, he's an investor in our company. Yeah, but that's not why he's on the COVID of the number one pick. Look, I promise, I promise.
Jimmy Fallon
Listen, we'll talk about that later. We'll see. We're not sure.
Matthew Berry
He won the triple crown last year. Joe Burrows, his quarterback. It's going to be a very pass heavy offense. Everything that was in place last year when he was the number one guy is still in place. I think. He can't go wrong. He's super safe.
Jimmy Fallon
That's your. Okay, good. Love that. Name a player that you're not sure will Live up to expectations this season.
Matthew Berry
You know what, Ryan? It's always tough, right? But there's a running back for the Buffalo Bills named James cook who scored 16 rushing touchdowns last year. The two previous years in his entire career, he scored four total. So just. That was an outlier year. Like, he's holding out right now. History suggests that players that hold out tend to start a little bit slow. He's not that involved in the passing game, so I think he'll be very good. I just don't think he'll be as good as he was last year.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, I see. This is inside stuff. I love this. All right, name one player, a sleeper pick that you think is going to win a lot of people a fantasy championship this season.
Matthew Berry
So every year, I announce my ride or die. Like the one guy that I'm sort of planting my flag and saying, this is my guy, my fantasy football. Ride or die.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes, everybody.
Matthew Berry
I've had a lot of success with it.
Jimmy Fallon
This is going around. Everyone is riding this down right now. Yeah, the Internet is going nuts.
Matthew Berry
Jalen hurts the year he broke out. Amon Ross. St. Brown. Austin Eckler the year he broke out. So we've had good success with it. And this year it is rookie Chargers running back Omarion Hampton. So Amarian Hampton last week, I don't know.
Jimmy Fallon
I think I know him.
Matthew Berry
You're gonna know him. NFL fans are gonna know him. He's first round pick for the Chargers this year at running back with NBC. We were at the hall of Fame preseason game last week, and so we're on the field, and the Chargers were there. And so I'm talking with all these Chargers defensive players. And like, I was like, hey, what do you think of Hampton? What do you think of the kid? And they're like, we hate tackling him. He runs hard. He's angry. Like, we're just like, we're glad we're not gonna face him in the real seat. Like he is the real deal. They could not stop raving about the kid.
Jimmy Fallon
Omari and Hampton.
Matthew Berry
Omari and Hampton.
Jimmy Fallon
This is what I'm talking about. All right, there we go. I'm so happy to have you on the show every single time. Congrats in the company. And please come back during the season.
I will absolutely come back. Matthew Barry, everybody. Watch fantasy football happy hour weekdays on Peacock. We'll be right back with St. From Bonnie McFarland. Stick around, everybody.
Helen Mirren
Cross that line. You pay your cost with the hammer.
Jimmy Fallon
Our next guest can be seen at.
The stress factory in New Brunswick New Jersey, August 20th. Please welcome the very funny Bonnie McFarl.
Thank you.
Bonnie McFarlane
What a time to be alive, huh? Right at the end here. Isn't it amazing? It's the end of civilization, and I'm still just so focused on getting in my steps, you know? I know there's a lot going on, but I still think we're living in good times. Like, it's the end, but it's the beginning of the end, which I think is the best part of the end, you know? Cause the end of the end's not good. The end of the end's like a lot of running and screaming and fireball. But the beginning of the end is like, you want to go to a Fallon taping. And we missed the deadline on reversing climate change, so now we can just relax and have fun. Doesn't that feel good? There's nothing we can do. I found a plastic bag in the back of my closet the other day. I released it into the wild. I said, go be with your friends. Okay? I'm a vegan. I wanted to tell you that since I first got out here, every joke I've been, like, told em tolem. I was like, no, just wait. No. I told everybody backstage. I told the hair and makeup team. I gotta tell people. I'm not doing it for my health. No, I love animals. I have a rescue dog. I'm a hero. Thank you. No, I wouldn't do it again. No. My dog has a lot of problems. My dog smokes. She quit the heroin, so we give her a pass. But I love walking in the park with my dog and listening to the birds. I don't know what happens. At some age, you just go, birds. Have you guys heard this conspiracy that birds aren't real, they're government drones? If it flies, is it spies? When I heard that, I was like, that does sound like something our government would do. And then you see them charging on the power lines. Have I been fooled again?
Jimmy Fallon
No.
Bonnie McFarlane
But I love walking in the park with my dog. I'm listening to the drones, and I see this beautiful butterfly. So I take a picture of it, and I look it up, and it's a spotted lanternfly. Yeah. Some people know when you look that up, you get a message from a government agency that's like, this is an invasive species. Kill with impunity. So I just killed it. Yeah. I don't even know what impunity means. I just did it. And then I was walking and I was like, what just happened to me? Like, who am I? I Love animals. I don't trust the government, but I choose just did what they told me to do without even reading the whole message. You know, it's like I was a sleeper cell that just came alive. Must kill all spotted lanterns. I was probably part of that MK Ultra program. Anyway, I tell you this whole story just to let you know that I'm still a vegan. Still plant version. Now I'm vegan and I'm woke. But here's where I take a little turn. I go off book a little. I like men.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Bonnie McFarlane
I know, I know. Unpopular opinion because men do annoying things recently. Like they've become obsessed with telling us how much protein they get. Or they mansplain. If you don't know what mansplaining is, get like a little bit of a quizzical look on your face. And a gentleman will be by shortly to tell you what that means, whether you want them to or not. They literally can't help it. I like it. I know why women get upset by it, but I think because I'm dumb. When I hear, well, actually, I get excited. I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna have to Google.
Jimmy Fallon
No.
Bonnie McFarlane
I didn't finish college, so everything I know is because a man cornered me at a party and told me everything he knows about his subject. I'd know nothing about cryptocurrency if it wasn't for that waiter at Ruby Tuesdays. That was a master class, Hodl. Now I'm part of the problem because I like it, so I encourage men to do it. Like, when I meet a man for the first time, I go, hi, I'm Bonnie. Am I pronouncing that correctly? I let them get it out of their system. And then I go, I'm a vegan. And then they go, where'd you get your protein?
Kristin Miliotti
You guys are great.
Bonnie McFarlane
Thank you so much.
Jimmy Fallon
That's how you do it. Come on. That's Bonnie McFarlane. That's amazing. See her at the Start Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey, August 20th. We'll be right back. Everybody.
Helen Mirren
Fire canary into the coal mine. Go time. Voltron. It's in the whole nine. Oh, God. It's not a problem. There's no job. Everything in my life, I'm black on both sides.
Jimmy Fallon
My thanks to Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosnan, Kristin Miliotti, Matthew Barrett. Hey, Bobby McFarlane and the Ruth right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Good night, everybody.
Thank you. Do it. Get into it. As you said, New York City.
Helen Mirren
Justin lets you know we're at the best.
Jimmy Fallon
That's right. So hard working, Mr. Dynamite. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work. Now.
Helen Mirren
That involved.
Matthew Berry
Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon, weeknights on.
Jimmy Fallon
NBC and streaming on Peacock.
Podcast Summary: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – "Trump Cordially Invites Putin on American Soil | Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan, Cristin Milioti, Matthew Berry, Bonnie McFarlane" | Monday, August 11
Released on August 12, 2025
Introduction
In this engaging episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, aired on August 11, hosts a star-studded lineup featuring acting legends Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan, acclaimed actress Cristin Milioti, fantasy football guru Matthew Berry, and the ever-hilarious comedian Bonnie McFarlane. The show kicks off with Jimmy Fallon’s trademark blend of humor, current events commentary, and interactive segments, setting the stage for a night filled with laughs, insightful conversations, and entertaining performances.
1. Jimmy Fallon's Monologue
Time Stamps: 01:10 – 04:14
Jimmy Fallon opens the show with his witty monologue, touching on a mix of political satire and pop culture humor.
Trump and Putin’s Upcoming Meeting [01:10 – 02:12]:
Marijuana Reclassification [02:12 – 02:32]:
Deployment of National Guard in DC [02:32 – 04:14]:
Notable Quote:
"Trump just deployed the National Guard to help fight crime in D.C. You never know with Trump. D.C. could mean Washington, Diet Coke, or Dean Cain." – [02:32]
2. Interactive Polls Segment
Time Stamps: 04:14 – 05:45
Fallon transitions into a humorous take on current polls, presenting exaggerated and fictional responses to everyday questions.
Biggest Problem Facing the Country:
Most Important School Supply:
Biggest Sign Someone is a Liar:
Use of ChatGPT:
Wearing Invisalign:
Notable Quote:
"For Trump, 420 is what he weighed at his last physical." – [02:32]
3. Book Club and Gardening Segment
Time Stamps: 06:08 – 09:26
Jimmy introduces his book club and segues into a personal segment about gardening, showcasing his home-grown tomatoes.
Book Club Announcement:
Celebrity Tomato Project:
Notable Quote:
“For Trump, dope is his nickname for Eric. I mean, he doesn’t know anything about weed.” – [02:32]
4. Guest Interviews
Time Stamps: 09:26 – 19:44
Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan join Fallon to discuss their collaborative role in the new Netflix film, The Thursday Murder Club, set to premiere on August 28.
Film Discussion:
"We knew each other really, really well. There was incredible closeness." – [18:30]
Salsa-Making Fun:
Notable Quote:
“It's a noble death.” – [16:45]
Time Stamps: 19:44 – 26:14
Cristin Milioti, Emmy-nominated for her role in The Penguin on HBO Max, discusses her character Sofia Falcone.
Character Insight:
"A woman stopped me in the bathroom and said, 'I love Sofia so much.'" – [21:02]
Behind-the-Scenes Stories:
Notable Quote:
“I miss him. I loved working for him.” – [29:57]
Time Stamps: 26:14 – 34:02
Matthew Berry, renowned for his expertise in fantasy football and host of Fantasy Football Happy Hour on Peacock, shares insights and anecdotes.
Career Highlights:
"Whenever someone comes up and wants to talk about their fantasy team, I always do it because I remember George's words." – [29:54]
Fantasy Football Tips:
Notable Quote:
“If you don’t like it, you can unsubscribe. But just, I’m telling you, you give the best advice.” – [31:14]
Time Stamps: 34:14 – 39:52
Comedian Bonnie McFarlane delivers a side-splitting performance, weaving personal anecdotes with sharp social commentary.
Vegan and Woke Humor:
"I just did it. I don't even know what impunity means. I just did it." – [36:58]
Mansplaining and Gender Dynamics:
"I tell her I'm a vegan. And then they go, where'd you get your protein?" – [38:14]
Birds Aren't Real Conspiracy:
Notable Quote:
“I like men. I know, I know. Unpopular opinion because men do annoying things recently.” – [38:09]
5. Conclusion
Time Stamps: 40:09 – 41:11
Jimmy Fallon wraps up the episode by thanking his guests and encouraging viewers to subscribe to the podcast and watch the show on NBC and Peacock. He bids goodnight with his signature charm, leaving the audience entertained and eagerly anticipating future episodes.
Notable Quote:
“You are a regular. That’s it. Of course you are. You’re a regular.” – [26:57]
Final Thoughts
This episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon masterfully balances humor, topical commentary, and engaging guest interactions. From political satire and quirky polls to heartfelt discussions on acting roles and expert fantasy football advice, Fallon ensures a dynamic and entertaining experience for listeners. The inclusion of Bonnie McFarlane’s sharp comedy further enriches the show, making it a must-listen for fans seeking both laughter and insightful conversations.
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