Trump Hosts National Christmas Tree Lighting | Walton Goggins, Natalia Dyer, Fran Lebowitz| Thursday, December 4

Summary

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Podcast Summary

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Episode: Trump Hosts National Christmas Tree Lighting | Walton Goggins, Natalia Dyer, Fran Lebowitz
Date: December 5, 2025

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Episode Overview

This lively edition of The Tonight Show features Jimmy Fallon's signature blend of topical monologue humor, impromptu sketches, and heartfelt interviews. The evening spotlights actor Walton Goggins, acclaimed author and humorist Fran Leibowitz, and a surprise comedic cameo from Melissa McCarthy. The energy moves from biting political and pop culture jokes to laughter-rich, memorable guest stories and classic New York commentary, making for an engaging late-night ride.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Monologue & Topical Jokes

Starts: 01:04

• Fallon opens with riffs on President Trump hosting the National Christmas Tree Lighting, throwing jabs at the spectacle and Trump's idiosyncratic style:
  • "The tree looks amazing. It's 35ft tall and as wide as Trump's cankles. Weird way to measure that, but, yeah." (01:16)
  • Fallon jokes Trump riffed his entire speech and had to be "placed in a stand" like the tree.
• Jests about the World Cup being a U.S., Canada, and Mexico group chat with a "second group chat" for everyone else. (02:09)
• Satirical take on year-end app wrap-ups, introducing a "calculator wrap" parody with self-mockery about tip calculations, typing 'boobs' on calculators, and job-quitting math.
• Commercial spoofs:
  • Starbucks: Warm, festive, “egg nog latte” ad (03:50)
  • Dunkin': Edgy, irreverent, “lung dot latte” and “these nuts” (04:09)

2. Surprise Walk-On: Melissa McCarthy

Segment: 04:43–05:42

• Melissa McCarthy pops in, promoting her SNL hosting gig.
• Playful banter about show staff, highlighter holders, and SNL's musical guest.
• Memorable moment:
  • McCarthy (teasing Fallon): "You don't have to Fallon me." (05:33)

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3. Interview: Walton Goggins

Part 1: Introduction and GQ Photoshoot
Starts: 06:10

• Fallon and Goggins celebrate his first Tonight Show appearance and GQ “Men of the Year” feature, with Fallon enthusing:
  • “You crushed it in White Lotus. It was the best performance. You were amazing.” (06:44)
• Goggins shares the behind-the-scenes of posing nude for GQ. He reveals the decision to do it—despite being self-conscious from a horseback riding injury—came from producer George Cortina's insistence:
  • "He lifted up my shirt and he said, you're fine. Get naked and get in the chair." (08:00)

Part 2: Mongolia Story – A Father/Son Rite of Passage
Starts: 08:26

• Goggins recounts a two-week horseback journey through Mongolia with his teenage son, which ended with a horse falling on him and breaking his ribs. Despite the pain, the experience strengthened their bond:
  • “I need you to take care of me. And the look on his face, I swear, Jimmy, he was just ashen. And he did. He stepped up and he took care of me for the next nine days and made sure that I was okay. Yeah. And he became like. He became a man, you know, he became a good human being.” (10:06)
• Fallon: “That's exactly why you went on the trip.” (11:00)

Part 3: Fallout on Prime Video – Fame, Filming, and Prosthetics
Starts: 11:08

• Discusses the massive global fanbase of Fallout and the show's reach:
  • “100 million people watch season one.” (11:40)
• Goggins on worldwide press tours and the excitement of being in a “global community.”
• The new cinematic scope for Season 2, kudos to producers/writers, and focus on tactile, real sets:
  • “It's a very kind of tactile analog experience. We don't spend a lot of time looking at tennis balls on a C stand. ...everywhere you look, it's a three or four dimensional experience." (12:28)
• Makeup/prosthetics process started at 5 hours, now streamlined to 2–2.5 hours. Goggins's routine includes watching movies—but switched from westerns to emotional dramas, accidentally breaking down during "Kramer vs. Kramer":
  • "I started bawling uncontrollably. I couldn't stop crying...My buddy said, hey man, you can't do that. I'm putting prosthetics. The glue won't stick, man, you gotta stop crying." (13:35)

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4. Interview: Fran Leibowitz

Starts: 14:23

• Fallon introduces Fran Leibowitz as legendary New Yorker and spotlights her live events in LA and sold-out Carnegie Hall.
• Fran on New York at the holidays:
  • “I came out of the subway on 6th Avenue into an impenetrable mob of 1 million people.” (15:05)
  • A woman asks her for directions to the (enormous) tree at Rockefeller Center that's right behind her. Leibowitz deadpans:
    • “Turn around.” (15:51)
• Her thoughts on unlicensed Fran Leibowitz Christmas ornaments—she disavows them with classic wit.
  • “I realize it's probably also the only Christmas tree ornament with a cigarette. ...someone said, well, if you didn't authorize this, you should sue them...if you want to make it worse, call a lawyer.” (16:38–17:25)
• On performing at Carnegie Hall, childhood dreams of cello, and poking fun at hotel room designs and backstage quarters:
  • “Whoever designs hotel rooms should have to spend at least one night in the room.” (19:17)
  • “The shower head. Now, I'm not that tall, let's face it. ...I get in the shower. After duck. Ok. It's like, who's the showerman for Thumbelina?” (19:49)
• Discusses the Q&A in her shows and her analog-literati style (no cell phone, no computer, no WiFi), anecdotes about people showing her youthful pictures on phones:
  • “There's three ways to look: young, old, or surgical.” (21:33)
  • “I used to be young and I looked young. And then I just skipped surgical and went to this.” (21:46)
• Fallon thanks Fran, invites LA listeners to attend her March 12 event.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jimmy Fallon on Trump & the Christmas Tree Lighting:
  • “The tree looks amazing. It's 35ft tall and as wide as Trump's cankles. Weird way to measure that, but, yeah.” (01:16)
• Walton Goggins on Mongolia Trip:
  • “He became like... He became a man, you know, he became a good human being.” (10:06)
• Fran Leibowitz on NYC Holiday Crowds:
  • “I came out of the subway... into an impenetrable mob... The tree was up, not lit. A woman came up to me and said, 'Do you know where the tree is?'... 'Turn around.'” (15:05, 15:51)
• Melissa McCarthy (Playfully):
  • "You don't have to Fallon me." (05:33)
• Fran on Modern Aging:
  • “There’s three ways to look: young, old, or surgical.” (21:33)
  • "I used to be young and I looked young. And then I just skipped surgical and went to this." (21:46)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Monologue and Topical Jokes – 01:04–04:25
• Melissa McCarthy Cameo – 04:43–05:42
• Walton Goggins Interview
  • Fashion & GQ Photoshoot – 06:10–08:26
  • Mongolia Story – 08:26–11:08
  • Fallout, Prosthetics, and Press – 11:08–13:58
• Fran Leibowitz Interview – 14:23–21:52

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Episode Tone & Style

Quippy, quick-paced, and conversational, the episode moves effortlessly between sharp satire, genuine guest admiration, and New York-flavored cynicism. Jimmy Fallon's enthusiasm is matched by Walton Goggins's storytelling warmth and Fran Leibowitz's acerbic wit, creating a classic Tonight Show mix of laughs, heart, and memorable cultural bites.

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Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio 60 in Rockefeller center in the heart of New York City, it's the Tonight show. Starring Jimmy Fallon.

And I joined Jimmy and his guest, Walton Goggins and Heidi Dryer, Fran Lieber. And featuring the legendary Ruth Curtis.

[The Roots (band members)]

22, 25.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And now, here he is.

[Walton Goggins]

Jimmy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Come on.

[The Roots (band members)]

Oh, you look great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you very much. Enjoy yourself, everybody.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show.

You're here.

Great time. Well, guys, earlier tonight, President Trump hosted the National Christmas Tree lighting ceremony at the White House. The tree looks amazing. It's 35ft tall and as wide as Trump's cankles.

Weird way to measure that, but, yeah. Unfortunately, after the tree was lit, Trump turned on his tanning bed and the lights immediately went out.

It was a really nice tree lighting, but I'm a little worried about Trump. I mean, he riffed the entire speech, but then was glued to the top for the countdown.

Ten, nine.

Snowman, candy cane. Six.

I'm a little worried about Trump. I mean, the tree stood on its own, but Trump had to be placed in a stand. You know, that's not, that's not good. Try to see the tree if you can, cuz in a month it'll be tossed to the curb along with Pete Hegseth.

Just being topical, guys. Just being topical. That's all. Just being topical.

Meanwhile, tomorrow, Trump is going to the Kennedy center where they'll announce who is playing in the World Cup.

[Walton Goggins]

Yep.

[Jimmy Fallon]

They're going to name 48 countries and Trump will be like, hate them, hate them. Never heard of them. Hate them. Don't like them. Hate them. Don't know. Yep, the U.S. mexico and Canada are hosting the World Cup. It's one of those group chats where there's definitely a second group chat. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Cool, man. Well, everybody, this week everyone's been sharing their Spotify wrapped. You know what I'm talking about?

[Walton Goggins]

No.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. It's when Spotify puts together a little recap of your listening stats for the whole year. But Spotify isn't the only app that does this. Now, check out what people got on their phones earlier today.

[Calculator App Voice]

Your calculator raft is ready. You had a busy year. You calculated restaurant tips 86 times because you can't do basic math. You accidentally opened the app 17 times when you meant to open the one next to it. You're in the top 1% of people who typed boobs upside down. You typed 6, 7, and showed your son in a desperate attempt to connect three times, you accidentally typed in 6, 30. When you were drunk and trying to set an alarm for work twice. And you calculated how much more money you need to quit your job 45,671 times to say thank you for all your calculations this year. Here's the inventor of the calculator app.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What's this for?

[Walton Goggins]

Hello.

[Calculator App Voice]

Don't forget to share with your friends.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Fun thing to get.

Well, listen to this. Apparently more companies are looking to hire TikTok influencers to create content about their products. So look for fun collaborations like get ready with Merrill lynch and Skibidi bank of America. Well, this is fun. Starbucks just added two more seasonal drinks to their holiday menu. Take a look.

[Starbucks Commercial Voice]

Happy holidays. Come warm up at Starbucks with two winter classics, the eggnog latte and our delicious chestnut praline latte. Tis the season Starbucks.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Isn't that nice? Looks like good drinks. Yeah. Wait, I'm actually hearing that Duncan also added some things to their holiday menu. Yeah, they have a commercial. Let's watch this.

[Dunkin' Commercial Voice]

Sup, losers? Coming to Dunkin for two winner classics.

[Calculator App Voice]

We got the lung dot latte.

[Dunkin' Commercial Voice]

And forget about chestnuts. How about these nuts? Tis the whatever. Who cares? Dunkin.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Aw, that night. It's fantastic.

Hey, you guys hear about this? A dog in Oklahoma has set a world record with its seven inch tongue. And they.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here? What are you doing here, Melissa McCarthy?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Well, I'm hosting SNL this week. It's a big show. What are you doing?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm actually hosting my show right now.

[Walton Goggins]

You have a show?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes, yes. We're in the middle of it right now.

[Walton Goggins]

Okay.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Does your show have musical guest Dejon?

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, no, no. Who are these people?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, well, this guy holds my water and this guy holds my pen.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Who's that guy?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, that's Ron. Ron holds my highlighter. Oh, you don't have anybody hold your highlighter? Oh, if you come upstairs, I'll have somebody hold your highlighter for me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No. Yeah. All right. I'll just. I want to finish my show first.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Okay. You don't have to Fallon me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Your hair looks cute.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay, thank you very much, Melissa McCarthy, everybody.

[The Roots (band members)]

Elizabeth came to the wrong show.

Came to the wrong show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

She's hosting Saturday night live this weekend with musical guest Dijon.

I love her.

Stick around. We'll be right back with Walton Goggins, everyone.

[The Roots (band members)]

Happy holidays.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our first guest is a three time.

Emmy nominated actor starring in the hit series Fallout. Season two premieres December 17th on Prime Video. Please welcome Walton Goggins.

A wave of love for Walton Goggins.

Come on.

[Walton Goggins]

Very much.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Welcome to the Tonight Show. First time, first time on the Tonight Show.

Very first time on the Tonight.

I feel like we're, we're friends, though. I feel like I know you.

We are friends. Yes. Because I, we're like tribe, but I love you.

I love everything you do. I love watching you. You crushed it in White Lotus. It was the best performance. You were amazing.

[Walton Goggins]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love everything about you. I love your interviews. I love your, your. I love your fashion shoots. Look how fashiony you are in style.

Hey, hey, look at this.

A little fashion, little clothes. GQ put you in the Men of the Year issue.

They did.

[Walton Goggins]

They did.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Bon vivant of the year.

Hey, I like to have a good time.

Yeah. I mean, let me just show you how much of a good time he likes to have. You're completely naked in the chair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Was, was, was, was, was posing nude.

Your, your idea or, you know, normally? Yes.

Okay.

It's, it's always my. I, I do. I, I have no problem taking my shirt off.

Good for you.

But, but this, this particular experience, this guy, George Cortina is the producer for gq. And I met him up, I met up with him in a, in a hallway. And he said, okay, I have this idea for this photo. And I said, okay, what's your idea? And he said, I want you to be naked in a chair.

At the Chateau Marmont. And normally I'm like, yeah, I'll do that, like, any day of the week. But this particular thing, I told him, I said, man, I would love to do that, really. But I had an injury. I hurt myself horseback riding in Mongolia and I broke my ribs. So, very vain guy that I am, I said, I haven't been able to work out, man, I'm so sorry, But I put on a lot of weight and he lifted up my shirt and he said, you're fine. Get naked and get in the, get.

Naked and get in the chair. That's exactly what you did.

Absolutely.

Wait, I want to hear about this thing. What do you mean you hurt your. How did you break your rib?

Well, I, I, Yeah, I did. I, I was, I took my son on a two week horseback riding trip across western Mongolia for his birthday. He was 14, on his way to being 15. And we wanted to mark that occasion, you know, of becoming a man, this seminal kind of moment in his life. He's my best friend, and so we were there and we got to pick our horse. I picked the only horse in Mongolia who had no Short term or long term Memory. Literally, I would ride this horse like eight hours a day. The very first time I met her, I walked up and she'd go, ah, yeah, you know, like, because you got to get to know them and you did. And then I rode her like eight hours a day. And every single time we did this bit over and over again where she.

Would go, ah, she didn't know who you were.

She had no idea who I was. I mean, I would get off of her and have lunch for 20 minutes and come back and she would have no idea who I was. And then on the third day, we're just going down this little bitty hill and she trips and she falls and she rolls on top of me. And I was able to push her off. And she stood up, she was okay. But I thought I broke my leg for real. I thought, wow, oh, my God. I broke my leg. And I felt it. And it's like, okay, you're okay. You didn't do that. But I stood up and I immediately fell down and I realized that something was really wrong. I was really hurt. And I looked around and realized, you know, this is the least populated country in the world. There's nobody coming to save you.

Yeah, the horses.

It's the only time the horse actually had some sympathy for me. She actually remembered me in that moment. Yes. I'm sorry about that. I'm so sorry about that. Yeah.

Horses don't do that.

Yeah. And so there was only one way out of there. And that was kind of the ride. And then it just progressively got worse. I didn't know what it was at the time. Well, you know, he was right. Right there. He was right there with me. And then by day three, it got to a point where it took me like an hour and a half to get out of the tent, an hour and a half to wash my face. And my son came up to me this morning and he said, dad, are you okay? And I looked at him and I said, no, buddy, I'm not. Like, I'm really not okay. And I said, I need you. I need you to take care of me. And the look on his face, I swear, Jimmy, he was just ashen. And he did. He stepped up and he took care of me for the next nine days and made sure that I was okay. Yeah. And he became like. He became a man, you know, he became a good human being.

That's exactly why you went on the trip.

It was the best thing that could have happened.

That was the goal of the trip.

It was yes, exactly. Oh, my gosh. That turned out all right.

It's a beautiful story.

Thank you very much. Not to make people cry.

No, I love it. I like to get emotional. Why not? You're about to make people cheer for you. This is you. As, by the way, in Fallout. By the way. This is a giant show, by the way. Do you know how big. It's based off the video game. But you played the ghoul in Fallout. This is.

It's like. It's like 100 million people. It's based on the video game. The video game is one of the most popular video games in the world.

Yes.

And it's, you know, it has a.

Real global community, and 100 million people watch season one.

That's. That's a lot of people.

Yeah, yeah.

That's a whole lot of people.

But, I mean, are you doing press all over the.

We are, yeah. Yeah. I just got back from. We were in. I got back from London last night, but we were in Brazil.

Oh, my God.

We were in. Or we're going to Brazil tonight, actually. And we were in Sydney and Los Angeles and. Yeah. Yeah. So it's really something to be a, you know, a. Like a part of this global community that loves.

This is bigger than movies.

Hey, you said that.

No, no, no, but I mean. But I mean, kind of is. The world is all into this and watching. I mean, season two is about to come out. It's already been picked up for season three.

It has, yeah. It's been picked up for season three. It means I have a job.

People love it. People love it.

Yeah.

And you said this season is just more gorgeous in the way they shot it.

Yeah, it's extremely. It's extremely cinematic. You know, Jonathan Nolan is our executive producer, and we had an incredible group of directors and our writers, Geneva and Graham, and so many people behind that camera worked so hard, you know, to make this happen. And it's a. It's a very kind of tactile analog experience. We don't spend a lot of time looking at tennis balls on a C stand.

Right, right, right.

You know, all of these sets are. Are real, and it's everywhere you look. It's a three or four dimensional experience. We're really proud of it.

And how long does it take to get these prosthetics?

Well, it takes, like, it started off being, like, five hours. We got it down to, like, two, two and a half hours. But I have a routine.

[Walton Goggins]

Okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. I have this whole thing. So I get there in the morning, I talk to My buddy Jake. And then I'll start watching a movie, right? I mean, just to kind of pass the time.

That's perfect.

There's a movie and it was westerns. I started off with westerns like Red river and Stagecoach and all the rest of it. Season two. I thought, well, you know what? I'm going to do the same thing, but I'm going to do something different. I'm going to. You know what? I'm gonna. I'm gonna watch Being There. I'm watching some Hal Ashby movies, you know, and then one day I turned on Kramer versus Kramer.

Fantastic.

Yeah, except I started bawling uncontrollably. I couldn't stop crying. I mean, there it's Dustin and the boy sitting there thinking about my son, and I couldn't stop crying. And my buddy said, hey, man, you can't do that.

I'm putting prosthetics.

The glue won't stick, man, you gotta stop crying. All right, Just go back to watching like unemotional cowboys. They give nothing away.

And did you?

Yeah, yeah, I'm playing.

And if you're playing one, so it pays off.

Walton Goggins, everybody. Fallout season two premieres December 17th on Prime Video. Natalia Dyer joins us after the break. Stick around, everybody. That's how you do it.

[The Roots (band members)]

It's just a conversation dog. I'm back with a special. Please let me know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest is a best selling writer and a legendary New Yorker. You can see her live at her show and Evening with Fran Leibowitz on March 12th at the Wilshire E. Bell Theater in Los Angeles. Everyone, please welcome Fran Leibowitz.

Looking good, Fran. Welcome back to the show. You lived in New York for most of your life. How do you love New York during the holidays?

[Walton Goggins]

Well.

Let me put it to you this way.

I'm not as merry as you might imagine.

And on Monday, I had dinner in a restaurant right here in this neighborhood. Very poor choice. The restaurant's good, but the location, not this time of year. I came out of the subway on 6th Avenue into an impenetrable mob of 1 million people. Yeah, I turned the corner to where I'm at Rockefeller Center. The tree was up, not lit. A woman came up to me and said, do you know where the tree is?

I said, yes, I do.

She said, are you going to tell me?

By the way, this tree is the size of Mount Rushmore, right? I mean, Stevie Wonder could find it. I said, turn around.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes, it's lo and behold, yeah, turn around. That's where that tree aren't people. Unbelievable.

[Walton Goggins]

Yeah. Yeah. I did feel like following her and saying, and by the way, you know, you can't vote.

This is the, you know, the Republicans are always trying to get people voting test. Here's the voting test. If you can't see the tree, which is right behind you, you can't vote.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I was asking you about the holidays because I don't know if you know this, but I have. They have a Fran Leibowitz ornament that is that they sell.

[Walton Goggins]

Look at this. Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Is this the coolest thing?

[Walton Goggins]

Yes, they have it. Okay. I want to point out this is not mine, by which I mean, this is not authorized by me. This is. I don't actually have merch.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ok. You had no idea that someone made it?

[Walton Goggins]

No. Last year. Well, they made it last year, and that's whoever they are, ok? And people started showing it to me and said, oh, look, this great thing that you have, it's just not mine. All right? I realize it's me. It looks like me quite a bit. I realize it's probably also the only Christmas tree ornament with a cigarette.

Which I hope catches on. And all my friends, I kept telling my friends, all my friends bought them everywhere I went last Christmas. You know, this was.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Walton Goggins]

So someone said, well, if you didn't authorize this, you should sue them. So first of all, here's the upside of being old, okay? Not that it's worth it, but the upside is this. You learn that no matter how bad a problem you have, if you want to make it worse, call a lawyer.

So I said, no. Where you could sue them if you knew who they were. I said, I'm not suing them. Like, at this point in my life, I would only call a lawyer if I was in police custody, okay? Which in this administration is not impossible.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you.

Very well, very may well happen.

I want to mention you're doing some shows, An Evening with Fran Leibowitz. You have a show in Los Angeles on March 12th. Tickets went on sale today, but you're also doing a show in Carnegie hall on December 12th. Sold out.

Sold out show.

Carnegie Hall. Fran Leibowitz, my question to you. Did you ever think that you would ever play Carnegie Hall?

[Walton Goggins]

Yes.

But not in this manner. When I was a child, I played the cello. And being a child, I didn't realize how poorly I played the cello. I was the fifth cello in my grammar school orchestra out of five. And deservedly. On the other hand, I thought, well, Debbie's not that much better than me. But then my Grandmother bought me a public Casal record. And I heard that cello, like, sublime cello. And I thought, fran, you can't do this. So that dream was over. No, this. I never really thought about Carnegie Hall.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Have you ever done. Have you ever been?

[Walton Goggins]

Yes, many. Not many times, but a few times I've spoken in Carnegie Hall. Like, the National Book Awards used to be there. I once said, Dene's benefit there, but never in this particular way. Wow.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's amazing. And it's one of the most legendary places in New York.

[Walton Goggins]

And the backstage is pretty small, I want to point out. Not as bad as here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That wasn't my fault.

That wasn't my fault. You were in a small dressing room. I'm sorry about that.

[Walton Goggins]

Yes. I mean, whoever designed this dressing room must also be a hotel room designer.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So it's not that bad. Why? What is a hotel room designer?

[Walton Goggins]

Well, I always feel that whoever designs hotel rooms should have to spend at least one night in the room. Okay. So that, like, they should realize, like, I spent half my life in hotels. So it used to be all over the world. The shower, for instance, red hot, blue, cold.

Now you have to get in the shower with my glasses to see. It's like, literally, like warm, hot craft beer, apple cider, herbal tea.

And then the shower head. Now, I'm not that tall, let's face it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ok.

[Walton Goggins]

I get in the shower after duck, ok. It's like, who's the showerman for Thumbelina?

I get out of the shower, I put on the rope. LeBron James. It's like the sleeves are like this.

[Jimmy Fallon]

They have to live in the hotel at least one day.

If you're doing it, at least one day.

Now, when you do your shows, there's a part of the show where it's a Q and A.

[Walton Goggins]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Where the audience will ask you questions.

[Walton Goggins]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And I think that's kind of fun.

[Walton Goggins]

It is fun.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Walton Goggins]

I really enjoy doing that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You do?

[Walton Goggins]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do you like. Because I know you for a long time now. You don't have a cell phone, you don't have a computer, you don't have WI fi.

[Walton Goggins]

No, I have Carnegie Hall.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But you have Carnegie hall.

[Walton Goggins]

Which is a wonderful substitute for cell phone.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, yes, but do people come up to you and show you phones and go, you should.

[Walton Goggins]

Oh, people are. First of all, my own sister asked me if I knew what a laptop was. So I said, why would you ask me that? She said, well, I know you don't have one. I said, that's true. But let me ask you this. Do you know what a Rolls Royce is?

Because I know you don't have one. And so, yes, people are always in the street showing me their phones. They're like a young guy, like a 20 year old guy is approaching me on the sidewalk and he has his phone turned toward me, and he looks incredulous and he says, it's a photo. It's a picture of me when I was like, 24. He goes, Is that you? I said, no, that was me. Okay, this is me. And he looks so horrified. I said, you know, this will happen to you, too.

This is. There's not a lot of choices in life like you think there are. Okay? There's three ways to look young, old, or surgical.

So you're young and you look young. And I used to be young and I looked young.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Walton Goggins]

And then I just skipped surgical and went to this.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

I love this. Fran Leibowitz, everybody. If you're in LA, you'll see Fran live on March 12th at the Wilshire E. Bell Theater. Tickets are on sale now. We'll be right back with more tonight.

[Walton Goggins]

Joe.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my God.

My thanks to Walton Goggins, Natalia Dyer, Fran Leibowitz, and of course, the Roots.

Right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Good night, everybody.

[The Roots (band members)]

Oh, he's gonna get involved Better get involved get, get, get involved get into it, do it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[The Roots (band members)]

Get into it and you save your city just like none of the best that's right tonight starving so hard working Mr. Dawn of mine Work, work, work, work, work, work, work.

Yeah, baby.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Up, y'. All.

[The Roots (band members)]

Let's get it, man. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work.

I said.

[Podcast Outro Voice]

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