Trump Posts Blasphemous AI Image of Himself as the Pope | David Spade, Kristin Cavallari | Monday, May 5

Summary

Summary of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" Episode: "Trump Posts Blasphemous AI Image of Himself as the Pope | David Spade, Kristin Cavallari"

Release Date: May 6, 2025

In this engaging episode of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," host Jimmy Fallon navigates through a blend of political satire, celebrity interviews, and humorous sketches alongside his guests, David Spade and Kristin Cavallari. The episode, recorded on May 5, masterfully intertwines current events with personal anecdotes, providing both entertainment and insightful commentary.

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1. Opening Monologue and Political Satire

Timestamp: [00:00 - 03:47]

Jimmy Fallon kicks off the show from Studio 6P at Rockefeller Center, highlighting significant events such as Cinco de Mayo and Teacher Appreciation Week. He humorously addresses President Donald Trump's controversial actions, including an AI-generated image of himself as the Pope and the imposition of a 100% tariff on foreign movies and TV shows. Fallon satirizes Trump's policies and public statements, blending mock seriousness with lighthearted jokes.

Notable Quotes:

• Jimmy Fallon [00:35]: "Trump doesn't think a baby girl needs 30 dolls. She can have three. But obviously, I'm one of them."
• David Spade [03:47]: "When does it become the Trump economy? It partially is right now. And I really mean this."
• Jimmy Fallon [05:05]: "The President gets to become pope if he posts a meme about it."

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2. Political Segment and Mock Interview

Timestamp: [03:47 - 05:35]

David Spade joins Fallon to discuss Trump's comments on the economy, coining the term "Trump economy" juxtaposed against the "Biden economy." The segment transitions into a comedic mock interview with Kristen Welker on "Meet the Press," where Fallon impersonates Trump struggling with Constitutional questions. This skit underscores the absurdity of political discourse with humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Jimmy Fallon [04:00]: "Trump was like all the Avengers movies until Endgame was me. Kraven the Hunter and Madame Webb was Biden. Thunderbolts was mega."
• Jimmy Fallon [05:04]: "The 19th Amendment gave women the right to what date? Bill Belichick, fill in the blank from your oath of office."
• Kristen Welker [05:35]: "Okay, one more question. What constitutional vehicle can the President use."

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3. Business and Travel News Parody

Timestamp: [05:35 - 07:51]

Fallon shifts to a parody of business news, mocking the logistics of air travel and corporate decisions. Jokes about United Airlines' air traffic controller shortage and American Airlines' new sliding-door suites highlight his knack for turning mundane topics into comedic gold.

Notable Quotes:

• Jimmy Fallon [06:08]: "You can go, you can go, you can go. Now."
• Jimmy Fallon [07:51]: "The guy that you sit next to on a plane who loves taking small talk way too much."

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4. Interview with David Spade

Timestamp: [09:12 - 16:56]

David Spade shares insights into his new stand-up special, "Dandelion," discussing the inspiration behind the title and recounting humorous experiences from his career, including his stint on "Saturday Night Live" (SNL). The conversation is rich with anecdotes, showcasing Spade's comedic timing and rapport with Fallon.

Notable Quotes:

• David Spade [10:09]: "So you go down that, you're going to pass a roller coaster and a Ferris wheel, right?"
• David Spade [13:09]: "I got a feel for it."
• Jimmy Fallon [15:00]: "You always show up. That's how you do it. You're giving Spade."

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5. Interview with Kristin Cavallari

Timestamp: [17:58 - 23:02]

Kristin Cavallari discusses her new docuseries, "Honestly Cavallari: The Headline Tour," delving into her experiences managing public perception and maintaining authenticity amidst media scrutiny. Cavallari also touches upon her personal life, including her family and her lifestyle brand, Uncommon James. Her candidness about overcoming the fear of public speaking adds depth to the interview.

Notable Quotes:

• Kristin Cavallari [18:09]: "Road life is not for me. It was the scariest thing I've ever done."
• Kristin Cavallari [19:32]: "Be authentic. Because I feel like now it's so different now."
• Kristin Cavallari [22:35]: "I do it to myself. The media is the worst. No, it's me, Kristin Cavallari, everybody."

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6. Closing Remarks and Promotions

Timestamp: [23:02 - End]

Fallon wraps up the episode by promoting upcoming content, including Cavallari's docuseries and his own guests. He extends thanks to the guests and the audience, maintaining the show's signature upbeat and inclusive tone.

Notable Quotes:

• Jimmy Fallon [23:02]: "The Headlines 4 premieres June 4th on E."
• Jimmy Fallon [23:27]: "Good night, everybody. Do it. Do it."

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Key Highlights and Insights

• Political Humor: Fallon effectively uses satire to comment on political events, particularly targeting Trump's controversial actions and statements. This segment blends current affairs with humor, making complex topics accessible and entertaining.

• Celebrity Friendships: The rapport between Fallon and his guests, particularly David Spade, highlights long-standing comedic friendships that add warmth and familiarity to the show.

• Personal Growth and Authenticity: Kristin Cavallari's discussion emphasizes the importance of authenticity in the public eye, providing viewers with a relatable narrative about overcoming personal fears and societal pressures.

• Comedic Storytelling: Both guests utilize storytelling to share personal anecdotes, weaving humor with genuine experiences that resonate with the audience.

• Engaging Sketches: The mock interview with Kristen Welker showcases Fallon's versatility in blending scripted comedy with unscripted reactions, enhancing the overall entertainment value.

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Conclusion

This episode of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" encapsulates the show's essence—merging humor with current events and personal stories. Through witty monologues, engaging interviews, and comedic sketches, Fallon delivers a memorable episode that entertains while subtly commenting on societal and political dynamics.

Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio 6P in Rockefeller center in the heart of New York City. But the Tonight show is starring Jimmy Fallon. It's great. Tonight joins Jim and his guest, David Spade, Tristan Cavallari, Hugh Zuka, Yvonne Torrejo. And featuring the legendary Ruth Curry, 212N. And now here he is giving SA. Thank you for. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the Tonight Show. You're here to make it. Well, guys, today is Cinco de Mayo, and it is also Teacher Appreciation Week, which pretty much guarantees tomorrow's gonna be National Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week. Can't make it in today. Earlier today, President Trump hosted a big Cinco de Mayo celebration at the White House. Here's a photo. Yeah, that never happened. Never. Well, over the weekend, Trump caused a lot of controversy when he posted an AI Image of himself as the Pope. Here it is. Here's this. He was, like, feeling blasphemous. Might delete later. Can we see the photo again? I think it's. I think it's cool. He's holding up his approval rating. Aw. You guys see this? Trump just shocked Hollywood by announcing a 100% tariff on all movies and TV shows made in foreign lands. Gonna be fun seeing the next Lord of the Rings. Filmed in Bayonne, New Jersey. Hey, look at Bilbo over here. What kind of ring you got? My purshoot. Hey, Dumbo. My pursuit. I don't think they hurt. I don't know. I never. Yeah, if you don't like that, you could also watch Emily and Des Moines. That's. It's just. It's just as charming. Well, over the weekend, Trump defended his tariffs on China, saying, I don't think that a baby girl needs to have 30 dolls. I think they can have three dolls. In response to. A lot of dolls have spoken out about this. Yeah. When she heard about this, Barbie said, only three dolls. Well, obviously, I'm one of them. Up next, the American Girl doll said, me, too. I mean, American is right there in my name. Then the Bratz doll said, get over yourself, Molly. You're made in China just like the rest of us. Then the American girl doll said, I survived the dust bowl, wench. I'll cut you. And finally, this creepy Victorian doll said, you don't need to buy 30 of us because hundreds of us already live in your walls. Walls, walls, walls, walls. Some more political news. Trump just sat down for a big interview with Kristen Welker on Meet the Press. And he offered an interesting explanation for the current state of the economy. Watch this.

[David Spade]

When does it become the Trump economy? It partially is right now. And I really mean this.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I think the good parts are the.

[David Spade]

Trump economy and the bad parts are the Biden economy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Trump was like all the Avengers movies until Endgame was me. Kraven the Hunter and Madame Webb was Biden. Thunderbolts was mega. During the interview, Welker asked Trump a potential TikTok about a potential TikTok ban, but he seemed to have some trouble with the name. Check this out.

[Kristen Welker]

You want to see a deal?

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'd like to see it done. I have a little sweet spot in.

[David Spade]

My heart because, as you know, I won young people by 36 points.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Perhaps I shouldn't say this, but I have a little warm spot in my heart for Tic Tac. I love all the social media sites. TikTok, Altoids, Banaka, I like Baka. A lot of people are talking about this. During the interview, Welker asked Trump whether his job was to uphold the Constitution. And he said, I don't know if it's. Yeah. She actually asked Trump more questions about the Constitution, but they couldn't include them all in the interview. Well, we got our hands on the audio. Really? Yeah. So Listen to this, Mr. President. Who wrote the Constitution? Nicolas Cage.

[Kristen Welker]

What is the First Amendment?

[Jimmy Fallon]

The President gets to become pope if he posts a meme about it. The 19th Amendment gave women the right to what date? Bill Belichick, fill in the blank from your oath of office.

[Kristen Welker]

I swear to preserve, protect, and defend the blank of the United States.

[Jimmy Fallon]

McDonald's is.

[Kristen Welker]

What are the first three words of the Constitution?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Let's go, girls.

[Kristen Welker]

Can you define ratification?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Of course. It's when a rat gets on top of your head and tells you how to cook in a restaurant.

[Kristen Welker]

Okay, one more question. What constitutional vehicle can the President use.

[Jimmy Fallon]

To reject a law? The best vehicle of them all. Tesla. Tesla. Well, switching gears, due to an air traffic controller shortage, the CEO of United Airlines has warned fliers to avoid Newark Airport. Yep, perfect timing for anyone currently flying into Newark Airport. We're going to go ahead and cut the in flight wi fi for 25 minutes. It's pretty bad at Newark right now. The only air traffic controller is a 16 year old staffer they got from the top of a water slide. You can go, you can go, you can go. Wait, hold on. Yeah, you can go Now. Speaking of air travel, American Airlines will soon debut its new suites with sliding doors on their flights. Here to tell us about how it feels about these suites is Glenn Moore, the guy you sit next to On a plane who loves making small talk way too much.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Hiya, Jimmy. You mind if I keep the window sheet opener in the chat?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Not at all.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Thanks. I love looking at the clouds. They're like big marshmallows, you know? I just want to eat them right up. Nom, nom, nom. I'm a big sweets guy, but don't tell my wife that. She's a health nut. You'd love her, though. We met in high school, actually. Both stars on the speech and debate team. Can you believe that? Cut to 25 years later. We got three kids in high school. Stephanie, Peter and Emma. I love them, but oh boy. I know where I got my gray hairs from. Thinking about getting a dog this summer. And I've been emailing breeders nonstop. Now that's a quirky bunch if you ever met one. Can you imagine being a professional puppy salesman? Actually, it doesn't sound too bad. I work in sales myself. But not in puppies and microchips. A lot less fur. Listen to me blabber. My wife says you put a quarter in me, I could keep you up all night. Sounds like my future with a puppy. Now what is it you wanted to talk about?

[Jimmy Fallon]

You know what, nevermind.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I gotta show you this picture of my kids. Oh my God. They went to Benihana and did the onion volcano. It's so funny. You're gonna love it. Let me just find it real quick. It's in here. I got it in here somewhere. I put it in a folder real quick. Jimmy, you're gonna love it. Let me find it. I think it's in my screenshots or my favorites. I'm gonna find it real quick. I think it's last month. Maybe it was last year. I can find him. To find it, we have to move on.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The guy that you sit next to on a plane who loves taking small talk way too much. Everyone.

[David Spade]

It's in your.

[Kristin Cavallari]

I got it right here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm sure the picture exists.

[Kristin Cavallari]

It's in here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Finding a picture of his kid. Well, some business news. I saw that Skechers is being bought for $9 billion. They outbid the next highest offer by $9 billion. That's all the time we have for news and improve. We have a great show. David Spade is here tonight. Spade. Kristin Cavallari is Jo. Kristen Cavallari. Come on back. Our first guest is an Emmy nominated actor and writer and very funny comedian. Has a new stand up special called David Spade Dandelion which premieres tomorrow on Prime Video. Please welcome David Spade. Spade. Standing O. Come on. Standing ovations for David Spade, the one and only.

[David Spade]

Good to see you, buddy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's great to see you. You're looking good, bud.

[David Spade]

Thank you, buddy. I've just been grinding, you know, my teeth at night.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, sorry. I thought you meant working hard.

[David Spade]

Yeah, no, grinding him down. I got a headache. But it's great to be here. I used to work in this building, so I'm excited to be here again.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We love you. You always crush me into this building. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Thank you, buddy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Thank you for coming back. I know that you're currently on your new Stand up tour. It's called I Got a Feel for it and it's Crushing. And I think you're doing shows in.

[David Spade]

Vegas with Nikki Glaser.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Nikki Glaser. That's a great combo.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Nikki and I do those a couple times a year and then I do my own tour. You know, it's funny because you stay at the Venetian and some of the hotels. I don't know if you're out there, but they're very big. Like, it gets a little tricky. I stayed at the MGM a long time ago. That's the biggest one. And it's not even the best one. Do you care if I stand up?

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, you stand up.

[David Spade]

I was talking to Questlove.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Sorry.

[David Spade]

Oh, can I stand up? So.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Why did I fall for that?

[David Spade]

I don't know. I don't know. So I'm in a bar area this one time and I asked this young lady, I said, hey, if you want to come up after and have a drink in my room, I'm in room 2344-627151-72250, niner, six, niner, niner. It's so easy to find. You walk out and you go to the fourth elevator. That's the hard part. Ok. You go up and there's a shuttle bus. Get on that. Now you're going to go to what feels like a different building. Ok. Because it then hop off the heels, there's a catwalk. All right. It's a little tricky. It's about a quarter mile. So you go down that, you're going to pass a roller coaster and a Ferris wheel, right?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And then you're going to be on what's known as a lazy Susan. You're going to go around on that. That's confusing. Jump off, go right, right, right, left, left, left. Then mile long hallway and it will spider into 11 hallways.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay.

[David Spade]

It takes 9:00. It's so simple. Then it's about 200 yards and then 5:00 hairpin. You're almost going back the same way. Four giant steps.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay.

[David Spade]

And then you punch in my code. It's easy. It's beep, boop, bop, bop, boop, beep, beep. I cannot remember the numbers, but those are the noises. Ok. And then it's sort of kitty corner adjacent. All right. Say it back. Okay. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's spiders.

[David Spade]

She's not coming.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Spiders to 11 hallways. That is so easy. That's so good.

[David Spade]

Physical bits.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I know you're topical. You always follow the news. What's got your attention lately?

[David Spade]

Oh, I don't get to see too much. I did catch that CBS Morning interview with Bill Belichick.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And his girlfriend.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Seems lovely. Lovely couple. And I don't know if he's really calling the plays, if you know what I mean? You know what I'm saying in that huddle?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ew.

[David Spade]

Wow. Yeah. But she's.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's really funny.

[David Spade]

I don't care about the age difference. Fine, fine, fine. But I thought it was oddly, she wore something that. I think it was like a big sweatshirt and maybe nothing else. I don't know. If you saw the picture, it seemed like I was like, listen, no pants. I mean, honestly, I was like, oh, I don't know if the Camel Toe Diaries should be on. You know what I mean? During when you're having a crew come over. Are you saving the pants for 60 Minutes? I mean, honestly. And listen, he's. He also had a very casual kind of shirt with throw up on it. You know what I mean? Did you see him? It was very relaxed. Not really the Met, but it was whatever. She's walking around like Winnie the Pooh with no pants. And so I just thought the whole thing was interesting. That's all. Just interesting.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I miss you, dude. Oh, my God. I want you to just come and hang out.

[David Spade]

Camel Toe Diaries. That's my new special. Sorry, we can cut. I'll come out again.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You always make me cry. Last time I saw you here, actually, we were at the NBC 50th.

[David Spade]

Oh, up. Siren laugh.

[Jimmy Fallon]

50Th anniversary of Siren Live. You killed, by the way. You were so funny, dude. I had a feel.

[David Spade]

Oh, I got a feel for it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, I got a feel for it.

[David Spade]

You know, in one of these sketches was the joke was it was going on forever. And Mulaney and Colin Joseph, you're in the sketch. Wrote me in the sketch. Right. And then it's so long, they have me leave the sketch. And go sit back in the audience. I thought it was such a funny idea because I haven't seen it on snl. And then actually, when I went over there, you know, they bring you over to rehearsal, which the rehearsals were the funnest part. Everyone's out there hanging out.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, yeah.

[David Spade]

So I go over there, and they go, you're gonna be in this third seat. And then you look that way, and you don't need a cue card, do you? And I go, I have one line. I don't think so. So in the real show, they hustle you over, and you got 20 seconds. And then I go. And they're full. So it's Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin. It's Lorraine. I'm like. They go, hey, beat it. You know, and they're like, you know. And poor Jane Curtin, legend. They push her out. And then so I have to sit down. Then I've got, like, four seconds to settle. And then they cut to you. And I go, oh. They go, oh, where's Spade? I go, I got a feel for it. So. And then I named my special that Isn't that Funny.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I got a feel for it because.

[David Spade]

The next morning, they go, you have to have your special name by today. And I go, I don't have any ideas. And I go. And then people on Instagram are going, I like when you said, I got a feel for it. So I go, hey, how about that?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

So that's my special.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The name of your special I got. You killed that one line. I'm like, dude, you nailed it.

[David Spade]

Yeah, no, the special's Dandelion. I forgot. And I got a feel for. It's a tour. Who cares? I'm boring myself. Good God.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, no.

[David Spade]

They all sound the same. I don't know the difference.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hey, congratulations on Flying the Wall Podcast.

[David Spade]

Podcast.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You won a big iHeartradio award.

[David Spade]

Comedy of the year.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, Comedy of the year. Not too shabby with Dana Carvey. Not too shabby, bud.

[David Spade]

Your buddy Dana Carvey's on there with me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love my Danic Carvey so much. Oh, my God.

[David Spade]

He's the best date. And I. We were just talking about when I hosted the last time at snl. I don't know if you knew this. I didn't. Was probably around, but I. Between dress and air. You always hear dress and air. But I got sick during. I don't know what happened. Food poisoning. But during dress, I was in some UPS outfit. I'm not really listening. And then they left, and I think Marcy was Like, come on, let's go. You're up. And the crowd's there. And I just go like this. I just laid down on the floor.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No.

[David Spade]

And they dragged me into my dressing room. Dragged me. And then they go. And then I just. And I started throwing up or something. And then they go, what are we doing? I hear outside the door, well, we have to put on a rerun. There's Lauren's outside. You know, my boss is outside. I'm already so scared to do the show. And then it makes it extra horrifying that I'm nervously not gonna be able to do the actual show. And then I pulled it together, and then they threw me out there in my UPS outfit. I'm on the ground like this. And then anyway, wind up doing the show. Gave it, you know, 70%. It was good. 5% more than I give off.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, normally you give 65, but you gave 70. Yeah, yeah. You always show up. That's how you do it. You're giving Spade. Come on. You show up.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Let's talk about Dandelion, your new special.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

On Amazon prime. Tomorrow, by the way.

[David Spade]

Starts tomorrow.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Starts tomorrow.

[David Spade]

Click it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Search for David Spade. Dandelion. And what's the inspiration for Dandelion?

[David Spade]

That's because I'm so fragile. I thought I was at McDonald's, and I was about to get in a fight one day with this dude. It was kind of crazy guy. And I was like, I'm a bit of a dandelion. I don't think I should be getting in a brawl. And the guy had a cinder block. And I'm like, jimmy, I cannot be hit with a cinder block. I have brittle bones. I don't care where you hit me, it's gonna hurt.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wait, I remember this fight.

[David Spade]

Remember this fight? Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Was it over at McNuggets or something or what?

[David Spade]

Yes, it was. Don't give it all away.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm not gonna give it all. You gotta watch this special.

[David Spade]

It's a real story. I said that in the special, and I go, oh, good. Dandelion. That's me. 100%.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love dandelion. Yeah, you should own that trademark.

[David Spade]

Thank you, buddy.

[Jimmy Fallon]

David Spade, everybody. Dandelion premieres tomorrow on Prime Video. Yeah. Tonight. Go after the break. Stick around, everybody. Another Stanley event, people. Guaranteed to be like having a ball but don't stop Keep on locking in the free world Even though it really ain't a thing Free phone this amazing to keep on stitch by stitch for decoration. Never saw fabric beat. Is the model you know our next guest from Laguna beach and the hills. She's also CEO of the lifestyle brand Uncommon James. Her new docu series, Honestly Cavallari, the headline tour premieres June 4th at 10pm on E. Everyone please welcome Kristin Cavallari. Thank you. Kristin, welcome to the show. You look fantastic. Thank you for being here. You just finished your live tour for your podcast.

[Kristen Welker]

I did, yeah. My very first podcast tour. It was six shows, four cities, seven days.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And it's called let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari. And let's be honest, how did you like performing live?

[Kristen Welker]

I gotta be honest, it's not for me. Road life is not for me. It was the scariest thing I've ever done.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What?

[Kristen Welker]

Yes, I know. I've been around cameras since I was 17. So when I tell people that I've had this debilitating fear of public speaking, people do not believe me. But if you watch any of the first talk shows I ever did, I mean, I sat on my hands like this because I thought I was gonna shake the whole time.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Really?

[Kristen Welker]

And, yeah. So speaking in front of a live audience is the scariest thing that I've ever done. But I walked off from my tour thinking, I can do anything. If I could do that, I can do anything.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, you did it.

[Kristen Welker]

Now I can do tv, Fallon.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's right. See, now it's easy. Oh, easy. But did you lear a mantra or something? Or do anything to calm you down.

[Kristen Welker]

Before you do a little tequila shot.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ok. All right. There you go. That's it. Yeah.

[Kristen Welker]

I just did one backstage, actually. A little baby one.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. What do you think's in my mug?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hello. You did your show in Chicago and some of your friends from Laguna beach showed up and joined you on stage. Yes. Was that fun?

[Kristen Welker]

I don't know if fun is the right word.

[Kristin Cavallari]

Something.

[Kristen Welker]

No, you know what? When you get your whole high school crew together, everyone gets nervous. Everyone starts drinking. I felt like I was back in high school.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You did?

[Kristen Welker]

Yes. You know, we get everyone on stage and the wheels just started falling off. Talon in particular just really was coming for me and giving me a hard time. I think he got nervous. Right. So his go to was to, like, come at me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen Welker]

Which is fine. I can handle it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Kristen Welker]

It makes for a great TV show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. I mean, when you did your shows, you were one of the first reality stars. Do people come up to you for advice if they're going on a reality show and you're like, you Know, the.

[Kristen Welker]

One thing I will tell people is to be authentic. Because I feel like now it's so different now. You know, when I did Laguna beach, we didn't have a map for what to do because it was one of the first shows where now it's like there's a million shows, there's a million reality stars. And I feel like people have an agenda when they go on a show. So I'm always like, just be you. Because the audience can see through it. Be authentic.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Would you ever do another reality show like Traitors or Survivors?

[Kristen Welker]

I've had a million people say that I should be on the Traitors. I haven't seen it. I know, I know. I'm gonna watch it. But why is everyone telling me that I'd be good on it? Cause I'm conn. I'm like, what is that? Why does everyone think I'm.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Kristen Welker]

I'm kind of offended, I think.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, don't be offended. No, no. I think people just want to see you on things. They like you.

[Kristen Welker]

I don't know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[Kristen Welker]

Okay. I need to watch the Traitors.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, you love traitors.

[Kristen Welker]

I know. I've heard great things.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Alan Cumming's fantastic. Yeah, you could do it.

[Kristen Welker]

Okay, I'm sure I'll do it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do your kids know you're at the Hills or Laguna Beach?

[Kristen Welker]

Well, they've. Because MTV will play them. My kids have seen Little Bits and Pieces, but they think it's so boring, you know? And I will say this. I did a rewatch podcast for Laguna beach and I watched it a couple years ago. All it was was looks like us looking at each other with great music. That's all it was. Nothing actually happened.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I think it was exciting. I remember maybe it's. I gotta rewatch it. Yeah. But how are the kids doing? How old are they now?

[Kristen Welker]

So almost 13. I have actually. Wednesday is Jackson's birthday. Happy birthday, Jackson.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hey, happy birthday, Jackson.

[David Spade]

Happy birthday.

[Kristen Welker]

He'll be 11 and then I have. My daughter is 9.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So full on good and all well behaved.

[Kristen Welker]

My middle Jackson. Yep. Happy birthday. So now I can really go in on him. He. You know, with three kids, there's always gonna be one that will give you a hard time, gets into trouble. That's Jackson for me. And actually last week I popped into Austin for 24 hours to go look at store spaces for uncommon James and Saylor. My daughter texted me and said, Jackson spray painted the driveway. And then she followed it up with a photo. And all I could see in the photo was a very large blue 23. And then when I got home, I actually saw there was also an outline in black for a basketball court. So I'm the proud owner of a new basketball court.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Congratulations.

[Kristen Welker]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You actually brought us a photo.

[Kristen Welker]

I brought you a photo.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Here it is.

[Kristen Welker]

Yeah. There's my new basketball court.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Congratulations. Thank you so much. That's amazing. It looks gorgeous. This is what you always wanted.

[Kristen Welker]

It was what I wanted.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Good thinking, Jax.

[Kristen Welker]

I know. And the 23 is for Michael Jordan. I had no idea we were such big Michael Jordan fans.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, everyone is. Come on, let's talk about the docuseries. Honestly, Cavallari. The headline tour. You call it the headline tour.

[Kristen Welker]

Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Because you kind of take time to explain why you're in a lot of the headlines.

[Kristen Welker]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And tell your side.

[Kristen Welker]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I wanted to have people out who have been in the headlines with me. And so I felt like we did a pretty good job of tackling the headlines and saying what really happened.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But is there anything you want to clear up that people still get wrong about you?

[Kristen Welker]

Well, I feel like the headlines are always. They try to just put me in a box, and everything is about who I'm dating or, like, some crazy thing that I've said. And I'll be honest with you guys, for a long time, I was like, you know, these damn headlines. And I had to get very real with myself and be like, but this stuff is coming out of my mouth. Like, I am.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You're doing this.

[Kristen Welker]

I am doing it to myself.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Like, why did I just say that out loud? Yes. It's your own fault.

[Kristen Welker]

The media is the worst. No, it's me, Kristin Cavallari, Everybody.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The Headlines 4 premieres June 4th on E. Will also be on Peacock for Tonight show after the break. Stick around, everybody. My thanks to David Spade, Kristen Cavallari, Ivan Cornejo, and the Roots right there for Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody. Do it. Do it. Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon, weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.