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Jimmy Fallon
From Studio 6B at Rockefeller center in the heart of New York City, it's the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests, Nicole Scherzinger, Hassan Minaj, Morgan Fechter. And featuring the legendary Bruce Crew 226. And now, here's your host, Jimmy Mallol. Oh, my goodness. That's a hot crowd. Thank you. Enjoy yourself, everybody. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show. You're here. You made it. Ah, that's right. Well, guys, New York City is still getting slammed by a massive heat wave. Boy, it's hot out there. Temperatures in the upper 90s. Yeah, it's brutal. You take one step outside and your pants feel like the waiter just brought fajitas to the table. What's sizzling? Yeah, the heat is bad. Across the country today at the White House, President Trump went to the roof with the Epstein files and a magnifying glass. He's like, come on, come on, do your thing. Come on. Speaking of Trump, did you guys hear this? A new report said that Trump is seriously considering a pardon for Diddy. Diddy heard and was like, I don't want to be connected with Trump. I mean, what's. Yeah. Trump actually might pardon Diddy. He was just talking about it in the White House. Listen to this audio that we got ahold of.
Donald Trump
I'm thinking about pardoning Diddy.
White House Staff
That's not the best look, sir.
Donald Trump
What about Ghislaine Maxwell?
White House Staff
That's not a good look, sir.
Donald Trump
The Menendez brothers? I wouldn't R. Kelly?
White House Staff
Also unwise.
Donald Trump
Jared from Subway?
White House Staff
I don't think so.
Donald Trump
The Hamburglar?
White House Staff
Not real.
Donald Trump
Lex Luthor?
White House Staff
Not real.
Donald Trump
Vecna?
White House Staff
Not real.
Donald Trump
O.J.
White House Staff
Not alive.
Donald Trump
Hutter from Love Island?
White House Staff
Not a criminal.
Donald Trump
That Coldplay couple?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
Chicken jockey?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
The guy who did fyre fest?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
The guy who invented green juice?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
Scar from the Lion King?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
Ray Gunn. The Australian breakdancer?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
The Mucinex guy?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
That producer from Jeopardy. Who tried to make himself host that one time?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
Anyone who says croissant like croissant?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
That horny skunk from Looney Tunes?
White House Staff
No.
Donald Trump
Epstein.
Jimmy Fallon
You know what?
White House Staff
I think it's nap time.
Barack Obama
Yay.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, that. I'm glad we got that, Aud. I'm going to be in the audio. You guys see this? Trump is now claiming that he cut ties with Jeffrey Epstein after Epstein hired young women who already worked at Mar A Lago. At this point, Trump is like a Brita water pitcher that you had in your fridge for the past 10 years. Absolutely no Filter. He just had it once. I mean, what's he doing? Meanwhile, Trump has continued to accuse Democrats of fabricating the Epstein files and including former President Barack Obama. Well, here to comment, please welcome Barack Obama. Thank you, Jimmy.
Barack Obama
Thank you so much.
Jimmy Fallon
Mr. President. Can you believe Trump is saying that you planted his name in the files?
Barack Obama
Believe it or not, I can.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, I bet.
Barack Obama
Well, no, because back when I was in the White House, I planted his name in the files.
Jimmy Fallon
Wait, what? You planted Trump's name?
Barack Obama
Absolutely. It was easy peasy. Look, all I did was I Woke up at 2:40am in the Lincoln Bedroom, okay? I kissed Michelle on the cheek like that. I crawled across the floor on my elbows like a ninja. I disabled the motion sensors with a little squirt gun that I had. I rappelled. Look, I rappelled out the window using Sasha's old jump rope, and I climbed down the drainpipe and into a rose bush, and right there, I distracted the Secret Service with a squirrel call. I went after that, I just rolled across the South Lawn. I hopped a 20 foot fence. This is good right there. I popped on a fake goatee and a beret, and I put a saxophone on. And I disguised myself as a local jazz musician I invented named Darnell Jenkins. Then I hot wired one of those little lime scooter rentals, you know, and I zipped on over to the Justice Department. Of course, once I got there, I greased up my body with dawn dish liquid, slithered down the mail chute, and shot out of a vent like a pop tart. I ran into some guards. Of course, I didn't expect that, but I just bonked them on the head with a little karate. Now, I searched 10,000 different filing cabinets till I found the one that was labeled Epstein files. Okay? I just pulled out my little typewriter, clacked out tack, tuck, tick, tick, tack, tuck, tuck. Donald J. Trump did this, that, and the other thing. Then I slid the file. I slid the files. I slid that into the files. And then I realpathatized everything. Look. And I dipped back to the White House before the Secret Service could even say, the smooth brown eagle has vanished over. Like I said, easy peasy.
Jimmy Fallon
You really did all that?
Barack Obama
Yes, of course. Oh, I also faked the moon landing. All I did that time was I Woke up at 2:40am in the Lincoln Bedroom.
Jimmy Fallon
All right, we got a former President Barack Obama, everybody. What are you doing? What is that?
Barack Obama
I'm just riding a little lime scooter. What are you doing?
Jimmy Fallon
Just talking to you via satellite.
Barack Obama
That's really. I want to say. I just want to say, Jimmy, It's a really good connection. Feels like I'm in the same room.
Jimmy Fallon
Well, with the new technology we have at NBC, and we make it feel like we're in the same room together. Yeah. That's awesome. Where are you, actually?
Barack Obama
Oh, I'm far away. I'm in my.
Jimmy Fallon
No, no. Look forward and describe where you are.
Barack Obama
I'm in my study.
Jimmy Fallon
No, I know.
Barack Obama
I know how to. Des. I'm in my study.
Jimmy Fallon
How many lamps do you have in there? Let's look.
Barack Obama
Let's take a look. Okay, we got this.
Jimmy Fallon
Turn his screen off. I don't want him seeing where he is. Okay. Where'd you get that one lamp?
Barack Obama
I got this at a shop called this Little light of Mine.
Jimmy Fallon
And see this one over here? See that one? Yeah, I got that off the.
Barack Obama
Where the ant.
Jimmy Fallon
Don't knock it over. What do you got on there in the middle there? Is that like a. What is that? I got iPad or something over here.
Barack Obama
Oh, that's set up. Yeah, that's my. That is an iPad. I was watching.
Jimmy Fallon
Look at it. You can look at it.
Barack Obama
Want me to go around, sit behind it?
Jimmy Fallon
Huh? It does. Well, how about sitting that chair? Sit in that chair might be easier. No, the one. Hold on. Yeah, sit in that one. No, no, no, the other one. No, not on that one. No, the other chair. Yeah. No, no, behind you. My president. Mr. President. The chair closer to. No, that chair. There you go. Yeah. I'm sorry.
Barack Obama
I thought you meant the one way.
Jimmy Fallon
No, this one right here.
Barack Obama
This one here.
Jimmy Fallon
Let me stop. There we go. What a nice study. Thank you for taking the time. Well, some business news this fall, Hershey is releasing a Reese's Oreo cup and an Oreo Reese's cookie. Can we see them? Ooh, Ozempic is like. Well, we tried. We tried. I'm waiting till they release them in thins so the kid working at the register can laugh at me. And finally, I saw that a new poll just found Americans spend nearly half their day online, and the other half is spent deleting what they did online. We have a great show. Give it up for the ruse, everybody.
Bruce Crew 226
The man at hand and rule the school and reach and teach the blind to find a way for A to Z. He's the most embossed of loud. I'm proud to gain the reign and remain do that thing. The heat is on your fella. Firefoin the empire.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, no. Please, no. What a show we have for you tonight. She is a judge and mentor on the new series Building the Band, which is streaming now on Netflix. Nicole Scherzinger is here. He hosts the podcast Hasin Minhaj doesn't know, and he'll also be performing with the comedian Ronny Chang on the Hasin Hates Ronnie tour. Hasin Minhaj is joining us. He stars in the Emmy winning series the Gilded Age, which airs Sundays at 9pm on HBO. And HBO. Max Morgan Spector is here. And we got special guest announcers tonight for the second night in a row. We're very lucky. They're the hosts of the very success, successful podcast Giggly Squad. Hannah Burner and Paige DeSorvo are here. Come on. Welcome back. Hi, guys. Your announcers again.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
We never left.
Jimmy Fallon
We slept in the green room. You slept in the green. Oh, my gosh. You didn't happen to run into Barack Obama while you're here today? He's in the building.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
He snores.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, he does? Yeah.
Nicole Scherzinger
Steve's on unemployment now.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, he is. We miss Steve. You were great last night. How did it feel announcing for our show? Was it fine?
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
A lot of diaphragm?
Jimmy Fallon
It is.
Nicole Scherzinger
I didn't even know.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, we didn't know what a diaphragm was until yesterday.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, you have to project. You have to project. Yeah. Well, we're glad you're here. You guys did something fun for us. We sent you guys out with the camera crew today to talk to people on the street and try to guess what their relationships were based solely on their vibe. This is a skill I didn't realize that you guys had.
Nicole Scherzinger
No, we don't.
We didn't really.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, yeah.
Nicole Scherzinger
I was going to say we did a really good job.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Have we done anything wrong?
Jimmy Fallon
Well, I. I want. I want to show everyone here is guess the relationship. Enjoy.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Paige, Jimmy. They let us loose on the streets to guess people's relationship based solely on vibes.
Jimmy Fallon
Guess the relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Nicole Scherzinger
We're going to be guessing your relationship status.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
You know when it just hits you and you know. You know when it's so. You know when it's so obvious. Father and daughter. Father and daughter.
Jimmy Fallon
No, no.
Nicole Scherzinger
You were her Uber driver, but your vibe just, like, really connected. You loved his playlist and you were like, maybe we should take this outside the car. No, I'm just going to go. You're his dentist and you guys have just, like, really hit it off. You just had an appointment and you're like, let's grab a drink.
Jimmy Fallon
We've gotten husband and wife and corps.
Nicole Scherzinger
And would is your relationship?
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
She's my boss and I nailed it.
Nicole Scherzinger
I've been his boss for 12 years. And so you guys are out, like, having a drink after work?
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. Yeah.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Oh, so you have an inappropriate relationship. That's definitely not you. Basket weave on Etsy. And he reached out to you for one of your very special baskets, and then you guys became friends through email.
Jimmy Fallon
Nope. No.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Do you even own a basket?
Jimmy Fallon
Many.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Many. That's where I got my tubes tied. You're two girls who got mad at your mom because she didn't let you.
Nicole Scherzinger
Go to the American girl doll store.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
So you left and you escaped to New York City.
Nicole Scherzinger
Today you're just running around the city?
Jimmy Fallon
No.
Nicole Scherzinger
Okay. What is your relationship?
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
We're family friends.
Nicole Scherzinger
We're family friends. Family friends.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Family friends. They definitely work for Russia.
Nicole Scherzinger
But before we start, do you know this woman? You guys know this woman? Yes.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Are you okay? He says maybe. Oh, I know what this is. This is one of those reality shows where you guys are mom swapping and she's your mom for the day. You guys are just like, lost.
Nicole Scherzinger
No. Give us a hint.
Jimmy Fallon
Online.
Nicole Scherzinger
Online. Online.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Farmersmeetup.com. he makes tomatoes and you puree them.
Nicole Scherzinger
What is your relationship? So I'm his German cousin and we met like twice in our life, so we were pretty spot on. You guys obviously met at a dance class where it was interpretive dance and the song was the Law and Order SVU theme song.
Jimmy Fallon
Really close.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Okay. You were in church. He came down for a cracker, and you were like, you're cute. What's your relationship with him?
Jimmy Fallon
He was my boyfriend.
Nicole Scherzinger
Oh, okay.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
How'd you meet?
Jimmy Fallon
We actually met at a Bible study.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
You were close, so you were super close.
Jimmy Fallon
You were really close. She was really close. Yes.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Well, we did. We guessed every relationship perfectly.
Nicole Scherzinger
I mean, we nailed it.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
No notes.
Nicole Scherzinger
Jimmy, back to you nailed it.
Jimmy Fallon
You nailed it. Well done. Congratulations. Well done. Hannah Berger and Paige of Sorbo, everybody. We'll be right back with more tonight. Joe, come on back.
Bruce Crew 226
I can smoke what I'm like Like smoking Joe, raise your the hellraiser Raise her with the flavor Talk about the damn lights Troops in Pakistan I was still feeling kinda ill no time to care I sound as sonic they'll 10 years before they pop Was rock pop.
Jimmy Fallon
Our first guest is a Tony winning and Grammy nominated performer. She is a judge and mentor on the new series Building the Band, which is streaming now on Netflix. Please welcome Nicole Scherzinger. That's what I'm talking about. Yes. That's right there standing. Oh, come on. Nicole Scherzinger, Tony award winner. Come on, come on.
Barack Obama
Kick and scratch.
Jimmy Fallon
Kick and scratch. Welcome to the show. And I, I, I want to talk about everything, but I will say your. Your run just ended July 20th. Okay. And that's your final performance. How do you feel now that you're all your. It's been a couple years. You've been doing this.
Nicole Scherzinger
Yes.
Jimmy Fallon
How do you feel now?
Nicole Scherzinger
I'm still tired.
Jimmy Fallon
Okay.
Nicole Scherzinger
Because right after I threw a closing party for the company, and then I was up at 7am the next day and I have been doing press and work ever since then.
Jimmy Fallon
Don't stop working.
Nicole Scherzinger
But I was supposed to be on vacation, but I postponed it to be here with you, Jimmy and all you fine people.
Jimmy Fallon
This is what I'm talk. This is what I'm talking about. That's why I love you.
Nicole Scherzinger
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm gonna be a sea lion on the beach.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Nicole Scherzinger
And I'm gonna be eating my weight in lobster. Yeah, lobster and melted butter.
Jimmy Fallon
Melted butter. Come on, we have to talk about this. You won the Tony for best leading actress in the musical. Thank you. So happy for you. Than so well deserved. Here's you with the Tony. And then here's you from 1996 winning the Kentucky State Fair. Oh, my God.
Bruce Crew 226
That'S amazing.
Jimmy Fallon
Is it kind of. Is it kind of the same feeling?
Nicole Scherzinger
It's.
Jimmy Fallon
Let's see.
Nicole Scherzinger
The Kentucky State Fair, the Tony. It's a toss up.
Jimmy Fallon
It's a toss up. Yeah.
Nicole Scherzinger
Toss up. Look, you've got a. You gotta dream big and you gotta start from somewhere. And I.
Jimmy Fallon
Do you remember these days?
Nicole Scherzinger
I do. And can I tell you what? This is proof that it's been over 30 years in the making for my Broadway debut because you want to know what I sang to win first place here? I sang a song from Miss Saigon. I sang I'd give my life really for you. That's me dressed as kid.
Jimmy Fallon
And here's you getting a Tony award.
Nicole Scherzinger
Yeah, that's four years later.
Bruce Crew 226
30 years later.
Nicole Scherzinger
I was two years old in this.
Jimmy Fallon
Picture and you were two years old.
Nicole Scherzinger
I'm only 32.
Jimmy Fallon
You were unbelievable at the Tony Awards. Just while we're talking about the Tony Awards. That is high pressure. I think that is my favorite award show because it's like people are nominated and then they have to go perform what they're nominated for, which is double. It's like they don't do that at the Oscars.
Nicole Scherzinger
People don't know that you've done A show right before the Tonys. You have to do a show the day of the Tonys.
Jimmy Fallon
Of course you do, because it's Broadway. And then you have to go out and belt it in front of all of your peers and your idols. Yes. And you're looking out. Did you see anyone in the crowd? And you're like, yes.
Nicole Scherzinger
I stared straight at Ben Stiller, latonya Jackson and Samuel Jackson. I sang it to them.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes. They were right there in the front. I have, by the way, a picture of you with Samuel L. Jackson, because after the show, you're nice enough to say hi to different people that come see you at the show. And at the end, no spoilers. At the end of the show, you're covered in blood. Yes, I will just mention that. So. But here you are taking a photo with Samuel L. Jackson, and I thought, that's very nice looking, gorgeous, very comfortable for both of us. Yes, of course. Here's you and the great Glenn Close, who we love.
Nicole Scherzinger
Oh, my God. She originated the role on Broadway. Look at this.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, my God. She's the best.
Nicole Scherzinger
Glowing from the inside out.
Jimmy Fallon
We love her. Here's you with Oprah. Yes. Now, how do you not get blood on everyone?
Nicole Scherzinger
Ok, so I have. I've developed my own method. When I take pictures with people, I don't want to get my blood all over them. So I say, give me your hand. And I just. We hold hands, so it creates, like, a barrier so then it doesn't look like we hate each other because I'm just standing in the picture without touching them. So you made it work.
Jimmy Fallon
You're good at this.
Nicole Scherzinger
Well, she. Oprah, Oprah wanted it all. She was like, give it to me. So I, like, tackled her and I drenched her in.
Jimmy Fallon
She wanted a full hug.
Nicole Scherzinger
And, babe, I got it on the Bottega, the Hermes, all the Eggas, I got it on everything.
White House Staff
All the egg as well.
Nicole Scherzinger
She didn't care. Loved it.
Jimmy Fallon
The song you performed, you hit this note, and I'm watching from home, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. And by the way, I'm watching my daughters who loved you. And if you just think about all these kids out there that want to be this and saw you and saw you performing, like, that's what I want to do. And like, that's. It's got to feel great and inspiring. But you hit this note, and I feel like you went on for like five minutes. You're like. And I was like, oh, my gosh, this is unbelievable. And then I couldn't I freaked out. What was that?
Nicole Scherzinger
Can you just do it with one eye?
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. No, I can't do it at all. But you did it and you look beautiful doing it. But that's training right there. How long do you hit that note for?
Nicole Scherzinger
I think, on average, I think my dresser, Tracy, she actually times me. Because in the West End, when we started, the orchestra would make a joke out of it because they have to hold the strings and they're just like.
Jimmy Fallon
So it was a bit.
Nicole Scherzinger
At first, it was a bit. They're kind of like making fun of, like, oh, my God, they're going to go to the bathroom, come back, she's still holding the note. Take a shower. And so the orchestra started timing me. So now here, Tracy would time me. And I think on average, it would be around 23 seconds for the one breath of home at last.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, my gosh.
Nicole Scherzinger
But I did, on my closing night, break my record and I did 29 seconds.
Jimmy Fallon
29 seconds. I don't know how. That's amazing. Let's talk about building the band. Yes. This is a big deal. This is on Netflix. All episodes are streaming now. No spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen the show. How do you describe how this works?
Nicole Scherzinger
Okay. It's like love is blind.
Jimmy Fallon
Love is blind.
Nicole Scherzinger
Right. But it's the musical version.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Nicole Scherzinger
So you have these amazing singers who are in these pods and they listen to each other sing and their sounds and their styles, and they talk to each other and then they put themselves in a band.
Jimmy Fallon
They form a band.
Nicole Scherzinger
They form a band and then at the end, the band compete and there's only one band that wins. But it's really cool because it's nothing to do with. About appearance or anything artificial.
Jimmy Fallon
It's a genius idea.
Nicole Scherzinger
It's just all about their musical chemistry and connection and composition.
Jimmy Fallon
Do they work together?
Nicole Scherzinger
And it was like a social experiment. And it works.
Jimmy Fallon
It totally works.
Nicole Scherzinger
It really. No, when you see it, it's mind blowing, actually. It's really beautiful.
Jimmy Fallon
I love that you're on it because you've known these types of shows before. You've. You've done something similar almost.
Nicole Scherzinger
Yes. Pop stars.
Jimmy Fallon
Pop stars, where you joined the band. You were in a band called Eden's Crush. Please hold your applause. The Eden's Crush.
Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Oh, my God, look at the hair.
Jimmy Fallon
Come on. Fantastic.
Nicole Scherzinger
The highlights. The blonde highlights still in. And then the wave crimp. Very Y2K.
Jimmy Fallon
But was. How many bands were you in? Because I know you were in the Pussycat Dolls.
Nicole Scherzinger
Yes, I was in a Band before this in a rock band called Days of the New, an acoustic rock band that was signed to Geffen Records and then Eden's Crush and then the Pussycat Dolls.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. And now look at you, Tony Award winner, but you're also a judge and mentor, so you know what you're talking about. So you see these kids come out and you go, oh, yeah, I know what you're going through, and here's where you're gonna gel, and here's where you can and you help.
Nicole Scherzinger
Actually, I feel like it's one of my best gifts is mentoring people and bringing out the best in people. So I really. I really find so much joy in it.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. Nicole Scherzinger, everybody. Building the Band is streaming now on Netflix. We'll be right back with more tonight.
Bruce Crew 226
Joe, stick around I walk forces well a deceptive beats are perfected the hood is a hop on Facebook page and H to Jigsaw Not a dealer I'm a moving in love.
Jimmy Fallon
Our next guest is a very funny comedian who hosts the podcast Hasin Minhaj doesn't know with new episodes every week. And he'll also be performing with comedian Ronny Chang on the Hasin Hates Ronnie tour. For tickets go to hasinhatesroni.com Please welcome Hasin Minhaj. Hasin, welcome back. Welcome back to the Tonight Show.
Barack Obama
Oh, my God.
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you so much for coming on. I always love.
Barack Obama
Thank you for having me.
Jimmy Fallon
One of my favorites. As I mentioned, you're going on a comedy tour with a very funny comedian, Ronny Chang, who we love. It's called the Hassin Hates Ronnie tour.
Barack Obama
Yes.
We don't love him. We hate him.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, we hate him. Was Ronnie. Well, we hate him.
Barack Obama
We don't hate him.
Jimmy Fallon
No, we.
Barack Obama
I hate him. We hate him.
Jimmy Fallon
No, we. We love him.
Barack Obama
Oh, Jimmy. Oh, you know, no, see, this is. This is sick. And this is wrong. Two weeks ago, you had Ronald Chang on this show.
Jimmy Fallon
Ronald.
Barack Obama
And he came and he sullied my reputation. Publicly spewed lies.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, my God.
Barack Obama
On NBC. And you platformed. Oh, this hatred that is. And Jimmy.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, man, I could feel. This is tense.
Barack Obama
No, no, no, no. Because you actually know him.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Barack Obama
You follow him on Instagram, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do.
Jimmy Fallon
I do. Okay.
Barack Obama
So when you follow someone on Instagram, Black thought. This is important. When you follow someone on Instagram, you can see what they like.
Jimmy Fallon
Uh huh.
Barack Obama
So you see what Ronnie likes every single day, Jimmy.
Jimmy Fallon
I follow a lot of people.
Barack Obama
Listen, release the Ronnie files. The public needs to know What? Ronald Xin Yi Chang likes online. This is in the blockchain. You can verify this.
Jimmy Fallon
You don't have to do this.
Barack Obama
I am Comedy's Edward Snowden. The American public needs to see this.
Jimmy Fallon
All right, Go, Chimmy. Here's the first one. Delta plane crashes and overturns while landing at Toronto Airport.
Barack Obama
Liked by Ronny Chien. This is not Photoshopped.
Jimmy Fallon
I know.
Barack Obama
Late night does the graphic. No, this is real. Go to the New York Times Instagram page. Ronnie likes this. This is a plane crash. No one died.
Jimmy Fallon
No one. No one died.
Barack Obama
But just so you know, the next time you fly, Ronnie's begging that the plane crashes.
Jimmy Fallon
That's not. This is not true. It is true.
Barack Obama
Why would you like it? Why would you like it?
Jimmy Fallon
I don't know why he. But we can stop right here.
Barack Obama
No, it gets worse. It actually gets more sadistic when you actually really think about it.
Jimmy Fallon
Measles cases hit record high. 25 years after us eliminated the disease. Liked by Ronny Chieng.
Barack Obama
What's the excuse, Jimmy? I don't know. No, back him up. What's the excuse for Ronnie?
Jimmy Fallon
Maybe it was a bump in the road and his thumb hit it twice.
Barack Obama
No, no. He saw a public health outbreak. Old people are dying. Ronnie goes.
Jimmy Fallon
I like.
Barack Obama
He likes it.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. No, this is. I think enough's enough. He didn't mean to.
Barack Obama
I see you defending him because we're all brothers and late night.
Jimmy Fallon
Right.
Barack Obama
And I know. I know you're afraid about what happened to Stephen Colbert. You feel bad about that, right? Do you feel bad?
Jimmy Fallon
I'm upset. Yes. I'm upset.
Barack Obama
30 Rock. How do we feel about the cancellation of the great Stephen Colbert and the late Boo Boo, a great American institution leaving us. Here's how Ronnie feels about it.
Jimmy Fallon
CBS canceling Late show with Stephen Colbert after next season. Liked by Ronny Chieng.
Barack Obama
Are you watching this, Stephen? Are you watching this? On the network that shall not be named.
Jimmy Fallon
You can name it.
Barack Obama
It's on cbs.
Jimmy Fallon
He did name it.
Barack Obama
Yeah, that's right, Stephen. When you stumble, he laughs.
Jimmy Fallon
He wouldn't do that.
Barack Obama
If Jimmy watches, he's gonna kill you. He's gonna come and he's gonna put something in your water and kill you.
Jimmy Fallon
Ronnie Chang. He would not do that.
Barack Obama
Just. Just. Jimmy, stop with the Switzerland of comedy nonsense. There is a war going on right now.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Barack Obama
And you have to pick a side. Which side are you with? Cause it's not just cultural and social issues. He is truly nuts. Show the last one. Show the last one. The public and his family need to know this. And I need to do this on national television.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. And you think that he's nuts.
Barack Obama
I think that he's out of his mind. Yes.
Jimmy Fallon
And you're. And you're totally normal?
Barack Obama
I'm 100% sober right now. Okay, here we go.
Jimmy Fallon
This is just Halle Berry.
Barack Obama
Halle berry celebrating the 20 year anniversary of Catwoman.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, that's not bad. That's why not liked by Ronnie.
Barack Obama
He's a married man.
Jimmy Fallon
He's married.
Barack Obama
Look, look, we all lurk. You don't like.
Jimmy Fallon
You lurk, but you don't like.
Barack Obama
You've been married 16 harmonious years, Jimmy. You liking this? You liking this? Don't get me involved. We enjoy, but we do not like. We learn. We observe.
Jimmy Fallon
Uh huh.
Barack Obama
We hold space for Halle and we love. Hallelujah.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Barack Obama
We don't tap the glass.
Jimmy Fallon
This is.
Barack Obama
Wait, what?
Jimmy Fallon
This is.
Barack Obama
I just.
Jimmy Fallon
This all feels so personal. I mean, why are you digging up all this stuff?
Barack Obama
We need to change his Wikipedia. That's what we need to do. I have tried to change his Wikipedia and I don't know how to do it. And if anyone here has the technical expertise, go into his bio right now and change it. It'll say, Ronnie Tsinyecheng is a Malay born American comedian and sadistic pervert. Just add that.
Jimmy Fallon
No. Hey, no, that's. No, please. There's no way. Hustle.
Barack Obama
No, Jimmy, we can't. He came on this show and he called me dumb. You let him call me stupid. No, no, no. And the thing is, he's dumb. He's an idiot. He came on this show and he ridiculed my alma mater, UC Davis. Yeah, the UC Davis Aggies. Thank you. Yes. Our mascot is Agriculture. Yes. And he came on and he's like, yeah, he's got a political science degree. I am a lawyer. Do you know where he got his law degree?
Morgan Spector
No.
Barack Obama
Australia. No, no, don't. It's the Florida of countries. It's not the flex you think it is. And if you're Australian watching this. Shut up.
Jimmy Fallon
What is going on?
Barack Obama
You're literally. They're literally a penal colony. It is a jail island. No, Ronny Chieng got his law degree from a lawless wasteland. What are you lost? Let's just air it out. He didn't even pass the New York bar. He failed the New. Yes, that scream is right. What an idiot.
Jimmy Fallon
What an idiot he is.
Barack Obama
What an absolute dumbass. Comes up. I'm a lawyer. Didn't pass the New York. Do you know what me. You and everyone here have in common with Ronny Chieng.
Jimmy Fallon
What?
Barack Obama
No one here can practice law in the state of New York.
Jimmy Fallon
Just like one dude.
Barack Obama
Rudy Giuliani passed the New York bar. How are you dumber than Rudy Giuliani? Ronnie?
Jimmy Fallon
It's a lot to unpack. I hope you and Ronnie have a great time on the tour.
Barack Obama
We're gonna have the worst.
Jimmy Fallon
It's gonna be a lot of fun.
Barack Obama
We're literally gonna fight him on stage.
Jimmy Fallon
Hasan Minhas, everybody. For tickets go to hasanhatesronni.com or Ronnie hates Hasan.
Barack Obama
We bought both URLs. We can't agree on anything.
Jimmy Fallon
Check out his podcast. Hasan Minhas doesn't know more Tonight show after the break. Stick around everybody. Yeah.
Bruce Crew 226
Two of them pigeons on the roof I rocked a house of auto Solitary boots I roll like the fury I'm still in every youth My name black thief I'm from the legendary roots guard the gate hill 5 off these snakes Take her to the crib Turn on.
Jimmy Fallon
The beta Our next guest is a very talented actor who stars in the Emmy winning series the Gilded Age, which airs Sundays at 9pm on HBO and HBO Max. Please welcome Morgan Spector. Enjoy yourself. Welcome. Welcome, Morgan. This is your late night talk show debut, Is this correct?
Morgan Spector
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm honored. I am honored. It is.
Morgan Spector
With the exception of an LSD induced delusion in 1999, this is my late night debut.
Jimmy Fallon
So what happened in 1999?
Morgan Spector
I went to see the great Paula Poundstone, great comedian at the county fair in Sonoma County, California.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Morgan Spector
And I decided to enhance this experience with eight hits of surprisingly powerful lsd. And as I was watching the great Paula Poundstone.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Morgan Spector
I transitioned from the comfortable space of being very high and knowing that you are very high to simply experiencing something and it being completely indistinguishable from reality. And in that reality, I was sitting in the audience at David Letterman and there was this sort of shadow creature moving through the audience, feeling for like the energy of the people in the audience. And at one point it made it clear to me that I had been selected. Dave wanted me to come out of the audience and be on the show. And when I realized this, I was so moved and I was so excited that I stood up and I raised my hand. I was so open hearted. I was ready. I was ready to come and speak to Dave. My girlfriend at the time, she pulled me down and I'm ashamed to say that I bit her to keep her. To keep her from spoiling my moment.
Jimmy Fallon
You nicely bit her. I did, yeah.
Morgan Spector
Very, very brutally.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, my gosh.
Barack Obama
Yeah.
Morgan Spector
And then. Yeah. But then things went great with me and Dave. We had a fantastic conversation. He sort of was introducing me to America. America was falling in love with me in that moment. I mean, I was in a state of narcissistic bliss.
Jimmy Fallon
And you were really at a county fair.
Morgan Spector
I was in fact, at a county fair watching Paula Poundstone.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. Wow. So this is not your late night debut. Technically it is, but. Wow. That's a story right there. Oh, my gosh.
Morgan Spector
Well, it's nice to be here. This is much more pleasant.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes, yes, absolutely. Yeah. I'm happy that you're here. I want to talk to you about Gilded Age. Congratulations on this. You are unbelievable on the show. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Phenomenal actor. And you got your start in theater.
Morgan Spector
I did, I did.
Jimmy Fallon
You were at. In this play, A View from the Bridge. This is you and Scarlett Johansson and Liev Schreiber. Mm. And you weren't supposed to be a star of this.
Morgan Spector
No, I wasn't. You can tell because the wig doesn't fit.
Jimmy Fallon
But I was.
Morgan Spector
I had a two line walk on part as a longshoreman in A View from the Bridge with those two actors. And the first week of previews, the actor who's supposed to be playing Rodolfo got injured and he couldn't continue. And I was his cover, so I got to go on and like, take over the show. It was my Showgirls moment, but I didn't push him down the stairs.
Jimmy Fallon
You didn't push him down the stairs?
Morgan Spector
I had nothing to do with it.
Jimmy Fallon
Okay.
Morgan Spector
But yeah. And then that was the beginning of my career in earnest. Like, I got a great agent and I manager, and that was like the.
Jimmy Fallon
Like a Tom Brady story. Unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.
Morgan Spector
I have a lot in common with.
Jimmy Fallon
Tom Brady or showgirls, whichever one you want to say. But yeah. Then you became who you are, and now you're on Gilded Age. The season has become the most watched season so far, by the way. And you almost thought you weren't going to make this season.
Morgan Spector
Oh, I mean, we didn't. Yeah. We did not think we were going to make a third season. We. Yeah, it was. I mean, because I don't know if you remember, there was the double actors strike, the actors and writers strike. Our contracts lapsed. We all thought it was over first season, we hadn't really found an audience. And then the middle of the second season, it kind of started to gain momentum and started to pick up traction online and people were really talking about it. And also I think sort of seeing the pleasures of the show, like, in some ways it's, you know, if you can enjoy a show where someone crossing a street for the first time in the season is like the height of drama.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Morgan Spector
Or where the question is like, will the soup be adequately warm when it arrives at the table? That's the kind of thing that we're like, you know, if you can.
Jimmy Fallon
If you like that type of stuff. Yeah, yeah. Get ready for. Yeah. This is. Well, but no, but that's the thing.
Barack Obama
People did start to enjoy that show.
Jimmy Fallon
I love every single second of it. Well, Julian Fellowes is the creator behind this, who did Downton Abbey. And it's Julian Fellowes, but on hbo.
Morgan Spector
Yeah. And I think that was. The question is, like, what does it mean for Julian Fellowes to be on hbo?
Jimmy Fallon
Are there.
Morgan Spector
Cause it's hbo. There should be boobs and guns and all that kind of stuff.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Morgan Spector
But that's not Julian Fellows.
Jimmy Fallon
No.
Morgan Spector
So I think for a while it was. People were sort of trying to figure out how do these things go together?
Jimmy Fallon
And they go together so well. You just got picked up for season four. That's what I'm talking about. But Morgan Spector, that is how you do it. The Gilded Age airs Sundays at 9pm on HBO and HBO. Max more tonight show after the break. Stick around, everybody.
Bruce Crew 226
You can clap your hands. Your hands. You clap. If I ask, do you feel it? Better answer back See me will a big boy burgundy Cadillac When I'm rhyming and designing with this joint in my lap.
Jimmy Fallon
My badge to Nicole Scherzinger, Hassan Minhaj, Morgan Spector, Hannah Berner, Paige Deservo and the Roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody. Get into it. Get into it, y'.
Bruce Crew 226
All.
Jimmy Fallon
Let him out. Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.
Podcast Summary: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Episode: Trump "Seriously Considers" Pardoning His Old Friend Diddy | Nicole Scherzinger, Hasan Minhaj, Morgan Spector
Release Date: July 31, 2025
Jimmy Fallon kicks off the episode from Studio 6B at Rockefeller Center, New York City, addressing the sweltering heatwave gripping the city. He seamlessly transitions into a humorous take on current events, particularly focusing on President Trump's rumored consideration of pardoning Diddy.
Fallon introduces a comedic audio clip purportedly featuring Donald Trump deliberating over potential pardons, listing a mix of real and fictional characters, including Diddy, Ghislaine Maxwell, and even Lex Luthor.
In a surprising twist, a character portraying former President Barack Obama makes a satirical appearance. He humorously claims responsibility for planting Trump's name in the Epstein files through an elaborate, fictional escapade involving disguises and daring maneuvers.
Obama's portrayal continues with playful interactions, including a mock discussion about his study and lamp collection, blending absurd humor with the show's characteristic wit.
Bruce Crew 226 delivers an energetic performance, infusing the show with musical flair. His performance includes original lyrics that add to the evening's lively atmosphere.
The spotlight shifts to Nicole Scherzinger, a Tony-winning and Grammy-nominated performer. Fallon delves into her illustrious career, from her early days winning the Kentucky State Fair in 1996 to her recent Tony Award for Best Leading Actress in a Musical.
Scherzinger discusses her role as a judge and mentor on Netflix’s Building the Band, emphasizing the importance of musical chemistry and connection devoid of superficial judgments.
Fallon and Scherzinger engage in lighthearted banter about her impressive vocal range, including her ability to sustain high notes for extended periods.
Hasan Minhaj returns to the show, poised to discuss his upcoming comedy tour with Ronny Chieng titled "Hasan Hates Ronnie." However, a comedic sketch unfolds featuring the Obama impersonation vehemently disapproving of Ronnie Chieng's actions and comedic style.
The segment parodies late-night rivalries, adding a layer of humor through exaggerated conflict and playful insults.
Morgan Spector, star of HBO’s The Gilded Age, makes his late-night talk show debut. He shares an amusing anecdote about an LSD-induced delusion in 1999 that led him to believe he was selected to appear on David Letterman's show.
Spector also discusses the challenges faced during the production of The Gilded Age, highlighting the impact of the actors' strike and the show's subsequent success after gaining online traction.
As the show wraps up, Bruce Crew 226 delivers a final musical performance, leaving the audience energized. Jimmy Fallon extends his gratitude to the guests—Nicole Scherzinger, Hasan Minhaj, Morgan Spector, Hannah Berner, Paige DeSorbo—and the band The Roots for their contributions to an entertaining evening.
Conclusion
This episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon masterfully blends humor, celebrity interviews, and musical performances. Through satirical segments and engaging conversations, Fallon provides an entertaining exploration of current events, personal stories, and the vibrant careers of his esteemed guests. Notable moments include the comedic portrayal of Barack Obama, Nicole Scherzinger's inspiring journey in the performing arts, and the playful tension between Hasan Minhaj and Ronnie Chieng.
For those who missed the episode, this summary encapsulates the essence of the evening's discussions and performances, offering a glimpse into the lively and humorous atmosphere that defines Jimmy Fallon's iconic late-night show.