Trump Vows to End Birthright Citizenship | Keira Knightley, Christian Slater, Dean Edwards | Monday, December 9

Summary

Summary of "Trump Vows to End Birthright Citizenship | Keira Knightley, Christian Slater, Dean Edwards"

Episode Release Date: December 10, 2024
Podcast: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon | NBC Universal

---

Monologue: Current Events and Pop Culture Highlights

00:06 – 06:08

Jimmy Fallon kicks off the episode with his signature monologue, blending political commentary with pop culture humor:

• Time Magazine Person of the Year Finalists: Fallon humorously speculates that former President Donald Trump might be angrier than if he’d lost an election when he didn't get selected over Vice President Kamala Harris. He also mentions other finalists like Benjamin Netanyahu, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jerome Powell, poking fun at the prospect of selling Time magazine issues featuring Taylor Swift's Eras Edition instead.

  "Why not reprint last year's and call it Taylor Swift ERAS edition. That would work." [02:15]

• Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour: Reflecting on the conclusion of Taylor Swift's historic Eras tour in Vancouver, Fallon jokes about fans' quirky behaviors, such as Sabrina Carpenter fans tossing yarn balls.

  "The ERAs tour was wild. It started as a concert, ended with Donna Kelsey as the spokeswoman for Ziploc." [04:50]

• Trump’s $200 Cologne and Meet the Press Interview: Fallon sarcastically critiques Trump's latest ventures, including his expensive cologne and controversial statements from a recent interview where Trump vows to end birthright citizenship. Fallon highlights Trump's amusing misuse of the word "groceries," likening it to song lyrics, which sparked viral attention.

  "I won on two things. The border and I won on groceries. It's a very simple word, Groceries." – Donald Trump [03:11]

• FDA and Red Dye Regulation: Transitioning to food safety, Fallon discusses the FDA’s potential banning of red dye number three, leading to humorous AI-generated videos of Trump rescuing kittens and responses from various social media platforms like Instagram Reels and YouTube Shorts.

• Mets Signing Juan Soto: In sports news, Fallon jokes about the Mets’ unprecedented $765 million contract offer to former Yankee star Juan Soto, humorously suggesting absurd compensation methods to fund such a deal.

  "One beer is now $200. All the fielders will share one glove." [05:30]

• Miscellaneous News Bits: Fallon wraps up his monologue with quirky stories, including a truck in California melting 30,000 pounds of chocolate on the highway.

---

Interview Segment: Keira Knightley on "Black Doves"

06:19 – 13:44

Guest: Keira Knightley
Show Highlight: Knightley discusses her role in the top-rated Netflix series "Black Doves" and her upcoming projects.

• Career and Personal Life: Keira shares insights about balancing her career and family life, including anecdotes about her children finding her embarrassing during family events.

  "My oldest daughter finds me really embarrassing." [09:40]

• Holiday Preferences: When asked about favorite holiday movies, Knightley confesses a fondness for "Die Hard," sparking playful banter with Fallon.

  "Die Hard. Don't start." [10:51]

• "Black Doves" Insights: She elaborates on her character's transformation and the show's unique take on the spy genre, highlighting her dedication to performing her own stunts.

  "I wanted to kick ass. You know, and I'm like a mom of two, and I'm so child-friendly at home." [11:36]

• Upcoming Projects: Knightley teases her return to the stage in Sam Shepard's play "Curse of the Starving Class" alongside Calista Flockhart.

  "It's a Sam Shepard play called Curse of the Starving Class. It's a great play." [22:26]

Interactive Segment: "Best Thing Ever" Game

13:59 – 19:22

Fallon engages Keira Knightley in a playful game called "Best Thing Ever," where they decide between pairs of items to determine which is superior and which to eliminate:

1. Round 1: Sunsets vs. Cheese

   • Both guests choose to keep cheese over sunsets.

     "Cheese is staying. No more sunsets." – Dean Edwards [14:48]

2. Round 2: Underwear vs. Christmas Lights

   • Fallon opts to keep Christmas lights over underwear, emphasizing their festive value.

     "I love looking at them. They make people happy." [15:22]

3. Round 3: Rainbows vs. Wi-Fi

   • Dean Edwards chooses to keep Wi-Fi, prioritizing connectivity over natural phenomena.

     "I want that in my life." [15:46]

4. Round 4: Photographs vs. Tacos

   • Fallon selects photographs, valuing memories over delicious tacos.

     "All my memories stay." [16:36]

5. Final Round: Cheese vs. Christmas Lights

   • Both guests ultimately agree to keep cheese, aligning with the earlier rounds.

     "I'm keeping the cheese again." – Dean Edwards [16:57]

• Audience Participation: The audience votes via clickers, confirming Fallon and Knightley's choice of cheese as the "Best Thing Ever."

  "The best thing ever officially is cheese." [16:55]

---

Interview Segment: Christian Slater on "Dexter Original Sin"

19:22 – 26:49

Guest: Christian Slater
Show Highlight: Slater discusses his role in the new series "Dexter Original Sin," an origin story expanding the Dexter universe.

• Personal Updates: Slater shares joyful news about his family, including his daughter’s recent college graduation and the birth of his son.

  "Our eldest daughter just graduated from college... She owes me. And I'm charging interest." [27:29]

• Role in "Dexter Original Sin": He describes playing Harry Morgan, Dexter’s father, and his admiration for the original series' writers.

  "I was a huge fan of the original show... a beautiful marriage and a wonderful sort of continuation of the story." [26:22]

• Behind-the-Scenes Stories: Slater recounts humorous moments during filming, such as push-up contests with cast members and interactions at Comic Con events.

  "We got down to this... Channing Tatum. I went for 51." [21:57]

• Upcoming Projects: Slater hints at future appearances and collaborations, maintaining the show's momentum.

---

Stand-Up Comedy: Dean Edwards

26:49 – 32:06

Guest: Dean Edwards
Performance Highlight: Edwards delivers a humorous stand-up routine, sharing his experiences and observations with his characteristic wit.

• Parenting and Family Life: Edwards jokes about his children’s antics and the challenges of parenting, especially dealing with teenage daughters who find him embarrassing.

  "She was ready to protect all of her toys." [09:40]

• Dog Ownership: He humorously narrates the intricacies of owning a small dog, Pele, including interactions with neighbors and police officers.

  "When you have a dog, you have to have conversations with people you don't want to talk to." [30:00]

• Cultural Observations: Edwards touches on societal perceptions, such as racial dynamics and personal grooming, infusing his routine with relatable humor.

  "Cause black don't crack. I'm 79 years old. Drink a lot of water. Cocoa butter." [28:27]

---

Conclusion and Closing Remarks

32:06 – End

Jimmy Fallon wraps up the episode by thanking his guests—Keira Knightley, Christian Slater, and Dean Edwards—and the house band, The Roots. He reminds listeners to subscribe for the latest episodes released weekday mornings and promote watching "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" on NBC and streaming on Peacock.

"Thank you for listening to the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings." [31:59]

---

Notable Quotes:

• Donald Trump:
  "I won on two things. The border and I won on groceries." [03:11]

• Dean Edwards:
  "I have the heart to tell him she ain't never coming back." [28:27]

• Keira Knightley:
  "Dexter Original Sin... a beautiful marriage and a wonderful sort of continuation of the story." [26:22]

• Christian Slater:
  "I'm charging interest. If she leaves a fork in the sink." [27:29]

This episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon masterfully blends topical humor, engaging interviews with high-profile guests, interactive games, and stand-up comedy, providing a thoroughly entertaining experience for listeners.

Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio six Feet in Rock and Miller center in the heart of New York City, it's been Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight join Gimme the step hero knight Christian Slay, comedian Steve and featuring the legendary Ruth 2065 Jimmy. And now here he is. It's a great crowd. Appreciate it. Thank you very much. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show. You're here. Thank you for being here. Well, guys, earlier today, Time magazine announced the finalist for the 2024 Person of the Year. And the list includes President elect Trump and Vice President Harris. I think Trump would actually be more mad if he lost this to her than the election. You gotta be no. Other names on the list include Benjamin Netanyahu, Mark Zuckerberg, and chairman of the Federal Reserve Jerome Powell. Then Ty Magnus was like, or we could actually want to sell copies. We could just reprint last year's and call it Taylor Swift ERAS edition. That would work. Then people want to get. Why not? Speaking of Taylor Swift, last night in Vancouver, she wrapped up her historic Eras tour. Yep. Great job. When they heard it was over at the beads department at Michael. No, I heard Sabrina Carpenter fans throw yarn balls around. That's the thing people are doing. Kids are doing. Yep. The ERAs tour was wild. It started as a concert, ended with Donna Kelsey as the spokeswoman for Ziploc. A wild year. You guys see this? Over the weekend, President Elect Trump launched a new line of $200 perfumes and colognes. It's perfect if you want to smell like a Big Mac that's been sitting in a tanning bed and then thrown in the back of a cybertruck. It's Trump cologne. My cologne has a first name. It's T R U M P. Meanwhile, Trump just sat down for an interview with Meet the Press where he said that he wants to end birthright citizenship, pardon the January 6th defendants, and put Liz Cheney in jail. Well, some people's New Year's resolutions are a little darker than others, but yep, Trump covered a lot of topics during his Meet the Press interview. But there was one thing he got a little stuck on. Take a look at this.

[Donald Trump]

I won on two things. The border and I won on groceries. It's a very simple word, Groceries. Like almost. You know who uses the word? I started using the word? The groceries.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It almost sounds like. I say it almost sounds like it could be a song. Wait a second. I heard that. It's already done. There is a song. Check this out.

[Donald Trump]

One on groceries. Groceries. Groceries. It's a very simple word. Groceries. Groceries like applesaken eggs Eggs Applesaken groceries. Apples eggs eggs app app.

[Keira Knightley]

Egg bacon.

[Donald Trump]

I started using the word the groceries.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Ah, listen to this. The FDA may red dye number three from beverages, candy and other foods. It sounds good until someone hands you a gray flamin hot Cheeto. Then you go, hey, it's bad for your health. That's why I only use products with red dye numbers two and four. Yeah, well, this is big. Tick Tock just lost its appeal in federal court. To avoid being banned next month, the Chinese owned app could be shut down in America for being a national security threat. Here's what other apps had to say about it. Facebook said, this sets a very dangerous precedent. Anyway, here's an AI video of Trump rescuing a kitten from a fire that your grandma thinks is real. Instagram Reels said, this is terrible. If TikTok goes away, what will we show everyone two weeks from now? YouTube shorts. This is terrible. If Instagram reels doesn't have anything to show two weeks from now, what will we show you three weeks from now? And finally, Temu said, don't worry, we'll make sure China still has your data. That's nice. Why not? Well, some sports news. The Mets are signing former Yankee superstar Juan Soto to the biggest contract in sports history. 15 years for $765 million. 765 million? Not really. The announcement you won to friends and family right before Christmas, you know. Yep. The Mets are paying Juan Soto $765 million. It's the biggest sports contract ever. Here's how the Mets are going to pay for it moving forward. One beer is now $200. All the fielders will share one glove. And finally, Mr. Met has to join OnlyFans. It's just gotta do it. Got it. And finally, a truck in California caught on fire and left 30,000 pounds of melted chocolate on the highway. Firefighters showed up and said, God, please let that be 30,000 pounds of melted chocolate on the highway. We have a great show. Give it up for the Roots, everybody.

[Christian Slater]

Now.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Welcome to the show, everybody. Be sure to stay here all week long. We have some great shows coming up. Lisa Kudrow, John Mulaney, Ray Romano over here. Maybe a few surprises you'll have to find. But first, what a show we have for you tonight. She's a very talented actress who stars in the number one show on Netflix right now, Black Doves. Keira Knightley is here this evening. He stars in the highly anticipated new series Dexter Original Sin, which premieres this Friday on Paramount with Showtime Christian Slater is here and we got standup from the very funny Dean Edwards. Congratulations. Keira Knightley, everybody. Congratulations. Our first guest is a Golden Globe and Oscar nominated actress who stars in the new series Black Doves, which is currently the number one show on Netflix. Everyone, please welcome Keira Knightley.

[Christian Slater]

Feel the love.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's so great to see you. Thanks for coming back.

[Dean Edwards]

Thanks for having me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I was lucky enough to meet your husband backstage. James Wright. Very talented musician.

[Dean Edwards]

Very talented. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do you play any instruments on anything he does or. Last time you were here, I think we made you play your teeth.

[Dean Edwards]

I can play my teeth?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. With your nails?

[Dean Edwards]

Weirdly, he hasn't asked me to do that on anything, which is strange.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. James, Hello. You have that talent living with you.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah, I know. No, he's asked me to clap and whistle on things that he's done.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's not bad.

[Dean Edwards]

No. But then it nearly ends in divorce because he says that I don't have any timing. I have no rhythm for clapping.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You need timing. Makes it difficult if you just mess it up.

[Dean Edwards]

He wasn't offering to pay me, though. Maybe if he whistled me, I would have. Well, he needed a Morricone sort of whistle so I could get the tone.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You can.

[Dean Edwards]

I mean. No, not really.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No.

[Christian Slater]

Just a taste.

[Dean Edwards]

No, I'm better on my teeth. Wait a minute. Well, that was a whistle.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I don't know. It was amazing.

[Dean Edwards]

Anyway, technically, it's real. He was not happy with the whistle.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Unbelievable.

[Dean Edwards]

I know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But then. Good. So now he doesn't get to act in anything you do?

[Dean Edwards]

No, he does. No, I mean, he does. Sometimes I get him to go through my lines with me and he always. When he's acting, he has like this amer. He thinks it's an American accent that he's doing. And it's actually. It's quite possibly the worst thing that I've ever heard in my entire life. So I always think, if I can do that with him, then I can do it with anything.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, exactly. Good. Yeah. See you guys. Help each other out. How are the dogs? How old are you, darling?

[Dean Edwards]

They're five and nine. No, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's happening.

[Dean Edwards]

It's happening. They're real people. I know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What are they watching?

[Dean Edwards]

They're very cool right now. It's really weird. They're into, like, Studio Ghibli and, like, you know, beautiful things where you're like, oh, well, this is just lovely. After seven years of Peppa Pig, that kind of stuff.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You had to live through that. Yeah.

[Dean Edwards]

And it's that, you know that thing where you're like, oh, you know, they're so nice. Should we have another one? And you think, oh, yeah, I could do the pregnancy, I could even do the birthday, but I cannot watch any more Peppa Pig.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So no more kids.

[Dean Edwards]

There's no more kids.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay, good.

[Dean Edwards]

No, no.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You were telling me that your oldest daughter finds you embarrassing.

[Dean Edwards]

She finds me really embarrassing, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Why? How?

[Dean Edwards]

It's really annoying. I thought it would, like, you know, when they're teenagers, you think, yeah. They're gonna find me embarrassing? Yes.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Everyone tells you, but.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah, but nine, right? So she's having this disco party and we thought, well, that's cool. And I was like, yay. And then I get to dance and I can get all the girls dancing. And she's really into Lizzo. Like, she really is very cool. So she's got Chapel Rowan, she loves. And Lizzo. She loves. And so we were like, great. And this is going to be amazing. And I'm going to get the girls start.

[Keira Knightley]

Mum.

[Dean Edwards]

Mum, you are so embarrassing. Just go and stand in the corner.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Go and stand in the corner. Go and clap and whistle in the corner. Yeah.

[Dean Edwards]

You can't even clap and whistle.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It was awful.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The holidays are here. We're very decorated for the holidays. You were in one of the greatest holiday films of all time, Love, actually. I know.

[Dean Edwards]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Kind of crushed it. Yeah. Do you watch that when it comes on? Do you go, oh, yeah, it's one of my. Is it one of your. You don't.

[Dean Edwards]

I saw it at the premiere when I was 18 and I've never seen it since. This is nothing about love, actually. I don't really watch anything. I do. So it's. But I know that love, actually, obviously has become this massive thing, and for lots of people, it's part of their Christmas, but we've actually. No, I've not seen it since then.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But what is Keira Knightley's favorite holiday movie? What do you watch?

[Dean Edwards]

Die Hard.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Don't start. Don't start. Oh, my goodness. Absolutely not. That is ridiculous. Please don't start that. Please. Oh, no, no, no. Let's talk about your new Netflix series, Number One, by the way, it feels good to be number one. Right?

[Dean Edwards]

That's quite nice.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. You know.

[Dean Edwards]

Thank you. Thanks.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Number One. And you're getting rave reviews and you got nominated for a Golden Globe today. Come on. Yes. What a great day for you. What a good day. Yeah.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You play spy in this and people are chasing you. You kind of changed the Game on. This whole genre. What drew you to the show?

[Dean Edwards]

Well, I think I wanted to kick ass.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Dean Edwards]

You know, and I'm like a mom of two, and I'm so child friendly at home, and I just wanted to do something that was a bit punk and kind of blew everything up and different.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Dean Edwards]

So a bit different. Yeah. And I think actually this is totally for me as my kind of teenage self, because I was always completely obsessed with the Godfather, and I'd watch it again and again and again, and actually, I've only. I always wanted to play Michael Corleone, and strangely enough, nobody saw me in that character.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Dean Edwards]

I can't understand why, but this is the closest that I'm ever gonna get to it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And you do your own stunts. You really are kick ass.

[Dean Edwards]

I mean, I really am.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And what training is that? What do you do? You just. You.

[Dean Edwards]

Well, it was quite annoying. But you know what? It was quite annoying because when I first got the script, there wasn't any fights in it, and I was the spy, so I was doing, like, spy acting, but I thought I could be quite lazy doing spy acting. And then my best friend in it is meant to be an assassin, so he got to do all the fight scenes. And then as they did all these rewrites, first of all, guns. I thought, okay, I can still be lazy with a gun. Whatever. Lazy, you know, whatever. And then suddenly it's knife fighting, and it's like, it's all this other stuff, and suddenly you can't be lazy anymore, and you've got to really get down to the gym and work out a lot and learn it all.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You're like, can we go back to the first script where I was just kind of looking around the corner? I'm just peeking, peeking around the corner.

[Dean Edwards]

Spy eyes. But that's about it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Spy eyes.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah. No, but, yeah, I'm fighting a lot.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Your co star Ben Whishaw is the voice of Paddington Bear, by the way.

[Dean Edwards]

He is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do the kids know that? And they freak out.

[Dean Edwards]

They. But they just don't. They're like, that's not Paddington. That is a thin English man.

[Keira Knightley]

That is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, My kids don't get that either.

[Dean Edwards]

You know, they don't get it at all.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And you go, no, but he does the voice. He is Paddington.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Watched that movie a thousand times. Yeah.

[Dean Edwards]

No, exactly. And they don't know. It doesn't compute.

[Keira Knightley]

No.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Do you.

[Dean Edwards]

I thought I could try and get him to, like, do a voice note or something, and then they might think I'm cool.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, don't do it. Why start now? Can we tell everybody what the show is about?

[Dean Edwards]

Yes. It's sort of okay. It's like it's a spy show wrapped in a murder mystery. Wrapped in a buddy movie.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's what I'm talking about. Keira Knightley, everybody. Black Doves streaming now on Netflix Number one show. Kira and I are doing something fun when we come back. Stick around.

[Christian Slater]

Come on back.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Welcome back, everybody. We're here with Keira Knightley. Keira, there are so many great things in life, but we want to know which is the best thing. It's time for a new game called Best thing Ever. Best thing ever. Now, here's how it works. We get two things. We'll have to decide which is the best and which one we have to live without forever. We're going to explain our reasoning for that decision. Best of each round, we'll face off against each other until we decide on the ultimate best thing ever. You ready for this?

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Here we go. You go first. You have to choose which is better and which could you live without forever. Is it sunsets or is it cheese? You have to get rid of some. You have to lose something.

[Dean Edwards]

Oh, it's really hard.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I never said.

[Dean Edwards]

As the sunsets are going, cheese is staying.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. Really?

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Whoa. Very good cheese decision. Yeah, me too. All right, I get to choose. Now, this one. This is underwear or Christmas lights. I get to lose one forever. I mean, I love. I love Christmas lights. I mean, I like. I do wear underwear, but that's not the game. No, the game isn't. Would you wear one or the other?

[Dean Edwards]

They're really annoying Christmas lights, though, when they break, you know, and you flick them and you put them all away.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, mine don't break.

[Dean Edwards]

Okay, fine.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I love looking at them. They make people happy. I'm going to say Christmas line.

[Dean Edwards]

Okay.

[Keira Knightley]

All right.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Round two.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Round two. You have to make another decision. Ready? Would you rather do best thing ever? Rainbows.

[Dean Edwards]

Oh.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Or wifi?

[Dean Edwards]

Wi Fi is going. It's going.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Really?

[Dean Edwards]

No, I don't want it. I want that in my life. Look at it. Pretty nice. Don't want that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Bye. Wi Fi. Loser. All right, so rainbows are back on the board. That's good. I like that choice.

[Dean Edwards]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

All right, now I have to choose. Here we go. Photographs or tacos? Oh, man. I know. It should be a clear choice because photographs, obviously, memory, but they're just delicious. And they bring the family together. Taco Tuesdays. Taco Bell, Choco, Taco photographs.

[Dean Edwards]

Oh.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Stays. All my memories.

[Dean Edwards]

Okay.

[Jimmy Fallon]

All right, here we go. No. So here we go. Now we got it down to this. Now. Now. All right, this is the end. We have to decide which is the best between these two. Ready? Cheese or Christmas lights.

[Dean Edwards]

Kira, I feel like it's Christmas, so I've got to go for Christmas lights. But I do love cheese.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So make a choice.

[Dean Edwards]

No, I'm sorry. Because cheese I can have all year round, whereas Christmas lights, I'm only allowed at Christmas, so. So I'm keeping the cheese again.

[Jimmy Fallon]

All right, I have to choose. Oh, no. Is it rainbows or photographs? Ugh. I mean, rainbows. I mean, come on. If I have pictures of it, I could just look at a picture of a rainbow. I think I've taken a bunch of them. They never come out and I never really look at them.

[Dean Edwards]

No.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Once I take them, I'm gonna take out photographs. Yeah. It's gonna be controversial. Okay, you know what that weird sound effect means? It's time for the final round. Whatever wins here will officially be the best thing ever. Okay, for this round, Kira and I are going to decide the best thing together. And to make this interesting, the audience will vote too. Now, if the audience. If the audience matches our pick, everyone is going home with a pint of Ben and Jerry's tonight. Dough ice cream. You all have voting clickers at your seat. The final category is rainbows versus cheese. Now, for rainbows, press A and for cheese, press B. Cast your votes. Kieran and I will discuss our pick. All of our votes are locked in first. Kira and I will go with what we decided. The best thing ever officially is cheese. Now it's time to find out what the audience picked. Remember, a was rainbow. B was cheese. Let's see the results. B is cheese. We match. Everyone is going home with a pint of Ben and Jerry's tonight. Dough ice cream. Congratulations, everyone. My thanks to Kira and Eileen Black Doves is streaming now on Netflix. We'll be right back with Christians later. Stick around, everybody.

[Christian Slater]

Knows Until I save.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The world Dropping a hot rob wheel.

[Christian Slater]

Looking super thin like a super.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest is a very talented actor who stars in the highly anticipated new series Dexter Original Sin, which premieres this Friday on Paramount with Showtime. Please welcome Christian Slater. Welcome back to the the show. I'm so happy when you come here. One of my favorite guests. Last two since the last time you were here, you and your wife welcomed a son.

[Keira Knightley]

Congratulations. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How's everyone doing?

[Keira Knightley]

It's good. He's five months old. He's hilarious. You know, he wakes up and he's got a great big smile, big personality.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Keira Knightley]

And I love him dearly.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And how's the daughter? How's your daughter dealing with.

[Keira Knightley]

Daughter's great.

[Jimmy Fallon]

When.

[Keira Knightley]

And we told her that my wife was pregnant, you know, she asked when he was going to come, and my wife, we said, but, you know, six more months he's going to be here. She said, okay, good, I have time to build a wall.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Keira Knightley]

She was ready to protect all of her toys.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, she loves the baby.

[Keira Knightley]

And my son was born on the first day of filming of the Dexter show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No.

[Keira Knightley]

So that was nice. Well, my wife was in New York, I was in la. So that was a little challenge, but it still worked out. It was great.

[Christian Slater]

Yeah.

[Keira Knightley]

You know, we tried to time it where I had like a week off from work, but he had other plans.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah, you can. You can't time that.

[Keira Knightley]

You can't time it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, you know what I wanted to ask you about? I read about something. Did you either challenge Channing Tatum to a push up contest or something like that, and then you won?

[Keira Knightley]

It wasn't a challenge. I mean, we were working together on this movie, Blink Twice.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Blink Twice, I love that film.

[Keira Knightley]

And everybody was said, let's do. Yeah, thanks.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So hold on, hold on. So everybody was like, let's do a pushup contest.

[Keira Knightley]

Yeah, we were.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Or was that Channing? It feels like something Channing would do.

[Keira Knightley]

No, we were. There's me and a bunch of the other cast and they were like, okay, we're gonna do a pushup contest. Chris, come on.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Said that.

[Keira Knightley]

I think it was Levon Hawk.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Really?

[Keira Knightley]

Yeah. Ethan Hawke.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's something you would do.

[Keira Knightley]

No, I wouldn't be like, hey, let's do a pushup contest. No, but we can if you want to right now.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. Because let's tell the end of the story.

[Keira Knightley]

This is great. So, you know, we start doing it and, you know, everybody's going, and they're just dropping like flies, one after the other. It was like six guys. And then it was down to me and Channing, you know, and he did 50 and that was it. And I went for 51.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And there you go. That's the winner. We have a winner. That's how you do it.

[Keira Knightley]

That's how you do it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That is how you do it. By the way, it was announced that you're going to be back on stage soon.

[Keira Knightley]

Oh, yeah, It's a Sam Shepard play called Curse of the Starving Class. It's a great play. It's a wonderful story. It's with Calista Flockhart.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And do you remember your first time that you were on stage?

[Keira Knightley]

First time I was on stage, Yeah. I was about 8 or 9. I did music man with Dick Van Dyke. That was the first. Yeah, I know, I know.

[Jimmy Fallon]

How did you get that? Just your.

[Keira Knightley]

Well, I got that because I was discovered on a talk show. There was this late night cable access talk show called the Joe Franklin Show.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Joe Franklin Show.

[Keira Knightley]

Franklin.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my God.

[Keira Knightley]

He was a New York legend. He was.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow.

[Keira Knightley]

Wait, what?

[Jimmy Fallon]

You were on the Joe Franklin Show?

[Keira Knightley]

Well, my mother was on the Joe Franklin Show. She was a casting director. I was about 7 or 8, and I was standing where the cameras are, and she was being interviewed. And Joe was like, hey, is that your son? Yes, that's my son. And. And he said, well, bring him up here. You know, you can sit on your lap. And then the next day we got a call from this director, Michael Kidd, who was doing the show with Dick.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Van Dyke, and he's like, that kid's got something.

[Keira Knightley]

I came in, I sang Zippity Doo Dah. And they were.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So you owe history Joe Franklin for your whole career.

[Keira Knightley]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's the best story I've ever heard.

[Keira Knightley]

I know. I've been looking for that tape, you know, I wanted to get that tape.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, we can get that tape somewhere, maybe.

[Keira Knightley]

So.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I don't know. We can find it.

[Keira Knightley]

It's a tricky one to find.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The last time you came on, man, you told us that. I told other people. It made me laugh so hard. Because you went to Comic Con.

[Keira Knightley]

Oh, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And then you. But you were flying in, like just now to do our show. You just flew in from somewhere.

[Keira Knightley]

From Brazil.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Brazil. Thank you for doing this show. Yeah. And so, yeah, Sao Paulo. You're a good man for doing it. We'll talk about Dexter Original Sin.

[Keira Knightley]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We'll talk about this. But then. So you had to go from Brazil or. No, you had to go somewhere to Comic Con, right?

[Keira Knightley]

Well, it was in Brazil. It says CCXP 2024 event. I'd never been there before, but it's like 300,000 people come streaming through and they're all in their costumes again is another thing, you know, another.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Last time, though, you thought you'd have time and have a dressing room so you can change your clothes, but no dressing room. No. So you're in the bathroom stall changing, and somebody next to the stall goes to Christian, hey, dude, who you dress it up as? And he doesn't know it's him. And you go.

[Keira Knightley]

I said, christian Slater. He's like, oh, really? From what movie? I said, no, it's just something he wants to wear when, you know, he looks like he wants to care about something.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And then you open the cell and it's Christian Slayer. That's a great costume. Yeah. That's amazing.

[Keira Knightley]

I let him finish.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's so funny, buddy. Let's talk about Dexter. People want the new Dexter. Dexter Original Sin. This is like an origin story.

[Keira Knightley]

Yeah, yeah, it's Dexter Younger. I play his dad, Harry Morgan. And I was a huge fan of the original show. So the fact that they were doing this sort of spin off and increasing the world of Dexter and getting a new glimpse into his history and his past was something I couldn't say no to.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I'm excited about this. I think people want to see this. Who else in the cast here?

[Keira Knightley]

Well, let's see. Sarah Michelle Geller.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes. Patrick Dempsey.

[Keira Knightley]

Yeah, Patrick Dempsey. I hadn't worked with him in, like.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, we love Patrick Dempsey.

[Keira Knightley]

Oh, we got Buffy. We got.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Keira Knightley]

How is he Anatomy guy?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Does he. Does he. Is he good being a detective?

[Keira Knightley]

Oh, yeah, no. Well, he's. He gets a little confused. He does, yeah. Yeah. You know, we were doing a scene once and the line was, oh, we need that DNA. And he kept saying, we need that mri.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He's a doctor. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't know what he's doing. Come on.

[Keira Knightley]

Still hadn't let go of.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yes, it's good. It's creepy, it's good, it's exciting. Just like. And it's well written.

[Keira Knightley]

Oh, the show's great. And it's the original writers from the original show. So I think it's a beautiful marriage and a wonderful sort of continuation of the story.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, come on. Christian Slater. Dexter Original Sin premieres this Friday on Paramount with Showtime. We'll be right back with standup from Dean Edwards. Stick around. Everybody.

[Christian Slater]

Seem to be like having a ball? You don't stop Keep on rocking in the free world Even though everything it ain't free form.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Our next guest will be headlining Jingle Bell Laughs at the Kellogg arena in Battle Creek, Michigan, December 20th. Making his tonight's show debut. Please welcome the very funny Dean Edwards. Yeah, baby. We're here, baby. Yes. Yes.

[Christian Slater]

Man, I'm in a great mood. How y'all feel? Y'all good?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, man.

[Christian Slater]

I'm feeling great because our eldest daughter just graduated from college, man. She graduated from college and it's crazy. Cause people always hit Me with. You don't look old enough to have kids in college. I'm like, yeah, but you know, black don't crack. I'm 79 years old. Drink a lot of water. Cocoa butter. It clears up the skin, man. You know? But it's crazy, because when you get to this age, like I said, I have friends that are now jealous of me. Cause I have a full head of hair. Cause men are funny with their hair, you know? It's like a marriage. And a lot of my friends are divorced from their hair, you know? Like, my friend Harris has irreconcilable differences with his hairline. And I have the heart to tell him she ain't never coming back. But meanwhile, I got a full head of hair. And a brother with an afro over the age of 40 is like a chemistry professor with a ponytail. I ain't never cutting this. You hear me? Look, look, look. 30 years from now, me and Questlove gonna look like Don King and Cornel West.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Right, Quentin? All right.

[Christian Slater]

But I'm super proud of my daughter. Cause not only did she graduate, she graduated from college. Zero student debt. She owes no money. She owes no money, man. She doesn't owe the. She don't know the government. She don't know the school. She owes me. And I'm charging interest. If she leaves a fork in the sink. I'm like, babe, you gotta wash your dish. She like, daddy, I don't feel like it. I'm like, I ain't feel like paying that tuition. But the sponges are under the sink. And it's been cool having her home. It was nice having her home for the first two and a half hours, you know? But my wife and I were enjoying our privacy because we became empty, nestled. And here's the thing, man. Bought our house 20 years ago. And to this day, unfortunately, there's still people that see me walking down my block, and they're like, black guy, and they cross the street. But now that we have a mini poodle, oh, it's a game changer. Cause now I walk down the street with the same freedom, comfort, and confidence of a suburban white woman. Cause now when I walk down the street with Pele, all I hear is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, he's so cute. Ooh, he's adorable.

[Christian Slater]

Oh, I hear that noise so much now. I'm walking around like, oh. And that's not a sound brothers normally make. You ain't never seen Denzel Washington. King Kong ain't got nothing on. And it's weird, man. Cause when you have a dog People start to ask you questions when you walk. So, so, so is that a rescue? Did you rescue? Is that a rescue? I had no idea how offended people get when you paid for a pet. Is that a rescue? So I gotta lie. I'm like, yeah, dude. He was living with an Amish family in Delaware. Dogs can't churn butter, you know? And when you have a dog, you have to have conversations with people you don't want to talk to. It's 7:00 in the morning, man. I ain't brushed my teeth yet. You know, I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I don't want to. So how old is he? How old is your dog? I'm like, oh, he's too. How old is your dog? Oh, he's 16. Oh, he about to die. I'm sorry. But you know that dog has osteoporosis. Look, his back legs are two wheels. He's halfway to heaven. All of my friends have these big dogs, right? They have like rottweilers and pit bulls and Siberian huskies. They all have the type of dog you gotta wrap around with like a bicycle chain and stand like you on a DMX album, like, what? What? You know, Stop dropping. And they always trying to climb me. Yo, Dean, got this cute little toy dog. He don't even gotta walk the dog. He picks the dog up, holds him out the window, squeeze him. That's how he goes to the bathroom. I'm like, yeah, but you got that 200 pound dog. You gotta clean up that human sized fecal matter every morning. I know you feel that heat, don't you? Oh, thank you. This is crazy, man. I never thought I would become a dog person. I actually drive around the street with Pele in the car just so he can hang his head out the. I become that guy. I was driving downtown Brooklyn recently, right? He's in the front seat. I'm playing on my phone at a stoplight. I feel somebody looking at me. I look over, it's a police officer. And this dude's grilling me. I'm like, oh, damn. He says, roll your window down. So I gotta think fast. Roll my window down. Recline my seat. He sees Pele. He's like, oh, he's so cute.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Is that a rescue?

[Christian Slater]

Yo, y'all been cool, man. I'm Dean Edwards. Much love, Jimmy. Brooklyn.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We did it. Feel that heat. Dean Edwards. That's how you do it. See him at the Kellogg arena in Battle Creek, Michigan, December 20th. We'll be right back, everybody. Outstanding. Ovation. Not too shabby. My thanks to K. Nightley, Christian Slater, Dean Edwards once again and the Roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jenny Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts, Watch the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon, weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.