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Jimmy Fallon
Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show. You're here. You made it. You guys seem like you're in a good mood. I think I know why. Today is 4:20. All day long, the air in New York City smelled exactly like it does every other day of the year. Yeah, 420 is a huge day for Venmo transactions that are labeled utility bill. Let's get to some news. Well, guys, the war continues on. Of course. I'm talking about the one between President Trump and Pope Leo. Following their feud, Pope Leo said that debating Trump is not in my interest at all. Yeah, I think the Pope is tired of dealing with Trump. Let's just say today there was a different smoke coming from The Vatican. Happy 420. And get this. After Trump spent the last week fighting with the Pope, he's about to take part in a public reading of the Bible from the Oval Office. He wants to practice a little, so we'll help him out. I'll start the Bible verse, and then the President will. We'll finish it, right? Let's try. Here we go. In the beginning, God created the heavens and Burger King, Wendy's and McDonald's. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear the Epstein files. For God so loved the world that he gave us his one and only magnificent, big, beautiful ballroom. Give us this day our daily Viagra. Do unto others as you would have them do unto. What to do? Or do they know what to do? That's even scarier. If they do know what to do and they're not doing it, God said, let there be light. And there was no. Get those lights off.
Quinta Brunson
Off.
Jimmy Fallon
Last one. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Easter Bunny. All right, keep practicing. Keep practicing.
Quinta Brunson
Sir.
Jimmy Fallon
Very close. So close. While everyone's talking about this, over the weekend, Trump announced a deal to reopen the Strait of Hormuz. And within 12 hours, it fell apart and is now closed again. Nobody knows whether the Strait of Hormuz is open or closed. It is basically the Toys R Us of Waterway. I thought you were out of business. You're back. Is Toys R Us in business? No, but they were, right? Yeah, for about a day like last week. Yeah. Yep. Trump hasn't been this annoyed with the famous straight since Mike Pence. Hey, ho, hey. Oh, you take that one home with you. Come on. That's a good one. Yeah, you got that? It's all yours. And now Trump is sending a delegation to negotiate a peace deal with Iran. And we actually got an exclusive audio from behind Closed doors of Trump deciding who to put on the negotiating team.
Darren Criss
Mr. President, who do you want to
Jimmy Fallon
send to Pakistan to negotiate? Kid Rock. No. Yay.
Darren Criss
No.
Jimmy Fallon
Diddy? No. The doordash Grandma.
Darren Criss
No.
Jimmy Fallon
William Shatner. Priceline negotiator.
Quinta Brunson
No.
Jimmy Fallon
Pam Bondi. Fired. Kristi Noem. Fired. Cash Patel. About to be fired. Don Jr. Yeah, dad, you need me? No. Sir. What if we sent the Vice President? All right, what's his name? D.J. tanner. No. J.K. rowling. No. P F Chang? No. LL Cool J. No. O.J. simpson? No. It's J.D. vance. Right. Can I golf now? Sure. Yay. Me too. No. Aw, there you go. Interesting. Get that. Well, get this. Trump announced plans to build a sculpture garden with 250 statues for America's 250th anniversary this summer. But sources say it's unlikely even one statue will be ready in time. Yeah, they won't have enough time to make the statue. So they're just going to put Mitch McConnell out on the lawn. Weird. You guys see this? Today, FBI Director Kash Patel filed a $250 million lawsuit against the Atlantic over a report on his alleged heavy drinking. I don't think it helped his case, cuz he said, I'm suing her for 250 million dollaritas. Oh, wow. You see how it would hurt his case? Yeah, man. Because he said, he said in the case that he would sue for $250 million. Oh, like margarita. But the famous drink special. The famous drink special from tj. Fried apple. Applebee's. Applebee's, yeah. Applebee's.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
By the way, we went to Applebee's the other night. How was it? It's fantastic. Applebee's is unbelievable. The one in Times Square has got like four floors. We went to the fourth floor. Penthouse, dude. Really? The penthouse at Applebee's. Unbelievable. Shout out to Applebee's and Times Square. They're the best. Loved it. They're the best, huh? Pretzel sticks. How many dollaritas did you have before you ate? What's that? How many dollaritas did you have before? I did have two of these, like backyard BlackBerry something or they came in like a goldfish bowl. I had to. Unless add an Uber to my Uber Dollaritas. But then I forgot they do have that drink. It's like a margarita or something that. With a beer in it. Yeah, beer. Arerita. Fantastic. I didn't have. I had one years ago at Bubba Gump. At Bubba Gump. You had one Bubba Gump. They make those? Yeah, they make a Beer reader at Bubba Gump. Bubba Gump. Fantastic place. What can I ask you? Film trivia. What do they have? Oh, they have Cajun shrimp. Yeah. What else? What other kind of shrimp? Shrimp. I can't go into it. We can't afford to take lines from that script. But I do. I love Bubba Gump. I used to love. I was obsessed with theme restaurants. The All Star Cafe. Do you remember that one? Yeah. Like, all these sports stars opened up this place. I sat by myself in a giant baseball glove table. It was so funny. You sat in a baseball glove? It was a giant baseball glove table. It was empty. They were going out of business, so I just went. I go, I want to see you. Shocking. I sat right in the mitt. Right? Your ball sat right there. That's great. Thank you. Let's change the subject. All right. Yeah. Guys, reality dating shows are huge right now. You guys like those? Dating show. I love. The one thing I've noticed they all have in common is the type of music that you hear in the show. Well, here to break that down for us is reality show songwriting duo Jeff and Steph. Welcome to the show, guys. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us. Thank you. Thank you. What can you guys tell us about writing music for these kinds of shows? Well, Jimmy, honestly, there's a bit of a science to it. A formula, if you will. Oh, interesting. Would you mind demonstrating that for us?
Taylor Dearden
Oh, absolutely.
Jimmy Fallon
Here's how you write a song for a steamy, sensual scene you'd see in Love is Blind or Love Island. Okay. First you sing a melody that sounds like this. First you sing a melody that sounds like this. Then you add a beat that sounds like this. Then there's a big build followed by silence, where you say something provocative like. Love is a scorpion. Thanks for that, guys. What does love as a scorpion mean?
Taylor Dearden
Nothing.
Jimmy Fallon
It doesn't matter what you say right there. All that matters, Jimmy Vibes. That's fascinating. Well, what if the scene is more romantic or sweet? Oh, you want romantic and sweet? Easy.
Quinta Brunson
That goes a bit like this.
Jimmy Fallon
You sing this one a little slower. Then you hear a twinkle piano. Then it starts to build. Cause the people are in love and you leave them space to kiss. Then you say, love is as poppy again. All right. Yeah.
Darren Criss
Sorry.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm sorry. Hold on a second. I'm just. I'm sorry. Wait. What is it? What is it, Jimmy? Love is a scorpion. Again. We can't help if it works, Jimmy, if it ain't broke. Yeah. So you just say that at the end of all these songs kinda. I'm sorry, but we have to move on.
Quinta Brunson
No, no, wait. Jimmy, can we do one more, please?
Jimmy Fallon
This one is different. We promise there's no love as a scorpion. No, no, no, no. We promise. No. Okay, go for it. This is like grand finale. Two contestants have found love. Epic. Okay, I like this. Take it away. This one is super upbeat and you say the word forever so the viewer is hopeful. And then you do a chant like whoa, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh. And everyone feels good about the outcome of the show. And the credits start to roll.
Darren Criss
This is great, guys.
Jimmy Fallon
And one last time you say love is a scorpion. Ah, it was funny. Get on. Jeff and Steph, everybody. Why would we have. Well, some business news. Gatorade announced that they're planning to remove artificial colors and reduce sugar in their drinks. Oh yeah. It's part of the revolutionary new beverage line called water. And finally, before we move on, I'd like to take a moment to thank some of our sponsors for tonight's show. They don't always fit in commercial breaks. We want to make sure that they all get a mention on the show. It's time for tonight's show's sponsor. Lids so you're bald. Ozempic. Fair warning, it's super obvious when you're on us. Olive Garden. When you're here, you're divorced and it's your weekend with the kids. Instacart. When you need the wrong things in the wrong sizes at the wrong temperatures. Milk bone. Come on, take a bite. You know you want it. McDonald's. Sometimes you just need to eat some McDonald's.
Darren Criss
Wow.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh my gosh. Doordash. Even though you only open your door crack. We saw everything. Robitussen. Teaching kids how to take shots since 1979. Dole somewhere. Right now we're having an all staff meeting about bananas. Ikea. Do it yourself bench. And Finally, Funyuns. Happy 420. That's all for tonight's show sponsors. We have a great show tonight. Quinta Brunton is here. Darren Criss is joining us from the pit. Taylor Dearden is here.
Quinta Brunson
Stick around.
Jimmy Fallon
We'll be right back with Quinta Brunson. Everybody. Come on back. Our first guest is the emmy and golden globe winning star, writer and creator of the hit show Abbott Elementary. Season 5 finale airs this Wednesday at 8pm on ABC and streams on Hulu. Everyone please welcome Quinta Brun. Look at that. They love you. Come on.
Quinta Brunson
That's really kind.
Jimmy Fallon
Look at that. Come on. They love you.
Quinta Brunson
So sweet.
Jimmy Fallon
Good to see you, bud.
Quinta Brunson
It's good to see you.
Jimmy Fallon
Thanks for coming back.
Quinta Brunson
Thank you for having me.
Jimmy Fallon
You know, I find out we have more and more things in common every time you come on the show and I read up about you.
Quinta Brunson
Oh.
Jimmy Fallon
I know that we're both fans of the show Survivor.
Quinta Brunson
I love Survivor.
Jimmy Fallon
I love Survivor.
Quinta Brunson
I love it.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm going to be on it.
Quinta Brunson
I heard that's really cool. I'm not jealous.
Jimmy Fallon
It's by the way, I saw it. I can't really talk about it. Yeah, you can't say anything but something. Jeff Probst was on the show.
Quinta Brunson
I love Jeff Probst.
Jimmy Fallon
Who doesn't love Jeff Probs?
Quinta Brunson
Big fan.
Jimmy Fallon
I love Jeff Probst.
Quinta Brunson
Okay.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, go ahead. So I always pitch him ideas that. And he ignored them.
Quinta Brunson
You do?
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, they're terrible ideas. But he wants to, like, lose. He gave me his number.
Darren Criss
What's his.
Quinta Brunson
He gave me. I wish I had his phone number.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, I'll give it to you after.
Quinta Brunson
Ok.
Jimmy Fallon
I'll give it. The whole audience. The whole audience gets Jeff Kropt's phone number on the way out. No problem. I love you guys. So he's on the show. I go, I gotta be part of this fans thing. Cause this is all the fans.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah, it's all for the fans.
Jimmy Fallon
And so I go, I gotta be part of it. So the producers are genius over there. They send me these ideas. I go, yep. So I'm part of an advantage.
Quinta Brunson
That's cool.
Jimmy Fallon
And then Quinta, something goes down.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
It's gonna be nuts. I can't talk about it.
Quinta Brunson
This is so, like, not exciting when you can't tell me what it's like.
Jimmy Fallon
I know. I feel like I'm in a Marvel movie. Yeah. I can't talk about it. But have you watched in the season so.
Quinta Brunson
No, because I need to save it to the end. I was introduced to Survivor as avenger, and I think when you're introduced that way, it's kind of hard to watch week from week. So the first season I saw, I think was like heroes versus Villains. And then I guess the audience isn't into that. I don't know if you guys like myself.
Jimmy Fallon
That was a great one.
Quinta Brunson
That was a great one. And so I got my friend Kate. She put me on. She always told me that I would like it. And she was right. I'm obsessed. And I also just think it's the greatest reality show. I don't watch much reality tv.
Jimmy Fallon
It's fantastic.
Quinta Brunson
I think it's fantastic.
Jimmy Fallon
The Psychology of it.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
I love everybody. The casting is great.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
They do such a great job. You gotta get into Traitors.
Quinta Brunson
Would you play?
Jimmy Fallon
Would I play Survivor?
Quinta Brunson
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
Never.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah, same.
Jimmy Fallon
I couldn't do any of the challenges. I can't stand on a thing. I'd be shaking immediately.
Quinta Brunson
As you know, there are smarter ways to play. Like, I wouldn't play because I know I wouldn't win. I would come in, I would be in the final three, but I wouldn't win.
Jimmy Fallon
Why?
Quinta Brunson
I think it's good to know when you. You won't win something.
Jimmy Fallon
You just knew you'd make it far, but you wouldn't win.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah, but you know how Mike White, he can't win because they know that he's rich and so they're not gonna give him that million dollar prize, which is good. They shouldn't give it to him.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Quinta Brunson
Cause he's too rich. He doesn't deserve it.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Quinta Brunson
He's a great producer of television and film guy.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
He just wants to play the game.
Quinta Brunson
He just wants to play.
Jimmy Fallon
The next move for you is Traitors.
Quinta Brunson
Okay, I'll get into it. Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
I'll tell you what season I'm gonna go. It's actually a great reality show. It's really well done. And the UK version's great, too.
Quinta Brunson
Okay, fine.
Jimmy Fallon
And it's B. You can binge it right now.
Quinta Brunson
Ok. I'm saying yes.
Jimmy Fallon
Quintus. The other thing that we have in common is we both have honorary degrees from colleges that we dropped out of.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah, we do. So how long did you last in college?
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Quinta Brunson
Ooh. Technically, on paper, I lasted, you know, like two years. Yeah, I did. I was doing well, though. Well, I was doing well until I wasn't. And then I. But when I wasn't, it was more of a choice, you know, I was like, all right, I'm not into this. I'm not into this anymore. How long did you last?
Jimmy Fallon
3, 3 and a half years.
Quinta Brunson
How long did it take them to give you the honorary degree?
Jimmy Fallon
Too long. I was like, guys, I'm gonna get one from Harvard before you guys give one.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah. I thought I was gonna get one from another. I'm not gonna disrespect my school, but I thought another, better school was gonna give me another honorary.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, that's what I was. But I was so happy I got it. We actually hung it up in the studio for a long time.
Quinta Brunson
Were you? Your people were proud of you.
Jimmy Fallon
Everyone was so proud of me. They were like, you did it. You dropped out You're a very lucky.
Quinta Brunson
My mom was really proud of me.
Jimmy Fallon
Your mom's a teacher, though.
Quinta Brunson
She is a teacher. So education is really. Yay.
Jimmy Fallon
Wait, how did you tell your mom that you're dropping out of college?
Quinta Brunson
By not telling her. That's the way you do that. You kind of slow roll it. I said, you know, mom, I love school so much. I need to take a semester off to focus on paying for it so that you and dad don't have to pay for it. And the thing was, I kind of meant that at the time. And then I said, oh, man, Mom, I think, you know, I think I'm gonna move in, enroll in ucla. I think I just wanna move environments. And I kind of believed that too, at the time. And then I just never went back. But then. But then. But everything happened. I got like. I started working.
Jimmy Fallon
You did?
Quinta Brunson
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
Well, did you start taking improv classes?
Quinta Brunson
I did. I took improv classes at ucla. That was my attempt to get closer to ucla.
Jimmy Fallon
So technically, you went to ucla.
Quinta Brunson
That's what I said.
Jimmy Fallon
I mean, look at who you are and what you've become. Come on. You're amazing. Come on. Quinta Brunson.
Quinta Brunson
Thank you.
Jimmy Fallon
You do it all. It's such a great show.
Quinta Brunson
Thank you.
Jimmy Fallon
The show takes place in school. If you haven't seen Abbott elementary, it takes place in a school in Philadelphia and.
Quinta Brunson
Oh, Billy in the house.
Jimmy Fallon
Billy in the house. We recently just launched a Quinta Brunson field trip fund in real life.
Quinta Brunson
I did.
Jimmy Fallon
Talk to me about this. I love this idea.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah, it's really, really beautiful. So field trips were a big part of my childhood, my education.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Quinta Brunson
My niece and nephew told me that they didn't take a lot of field trips during their primary schooling years. They were affected by the COVID The pandemic. And so I think the last maybe four years of my niece's school weren't even in school. So field trips were going away. Funding for them was going away. And I just thought, how could I help? And the easiest way to help was to start a fund that I immediately donated $10,000 to to kick it off and posted it.
Jimmy Fallon
That's so cool.
Quinta Brunson
The fun part was, in under a month, the fund from people like you raised over $150,000. And that's a really, really.
Jimmy Fallon
It's amazing.
Quinta Brunson
It's amazing.
Jimmy Fallon
It's life changing for a kid. Do you remember your field trip?
Quinta Brunson
My field trips were great. One time, and this is gonna sound like a small thing, and I kind of told this story already. But we took a field trip just to Grand Central Station and that was a big deal. Even though we lived in Philly, some kids were never gonna get to go to New York. And we're only two hours away. Doesn't take.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, doesn't take much.
Quinta Brunson
It doesn't take much.
Jimmy Fallon
You never forgot it, right?
Quinta Brunson
No, never forgot it. I still remember going to Grand Central Station. Yeah, it was beautiful. Actually haven't been back since, so I'm happy I hadn't.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, my God. You gotta go.
Quinta Brunson
I'm happy.
Jimmy Fallon
I still. No, you gotta go. Yeah.
Darren Criss
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
The season finale of your show airs this week. After the past couple episodes, fans are divided. They're not really happy. No, they're not happy with that. Jeanine and Gregory broke up.
Quinta Brunson
Yeah. No, they don't like that. But.
Jimmy Fallon
But you wrote this.
Quinta Brunson
Oh, yes, I did.
Jimmy Fallon
So you were kind. You pretty much. You have a part of this.
Quinta Brunson
There was. Yeah, people weren't happy. It's the first time people have been very not happy with me in front of my face.
Jimmy Fallon
Does that affect you when people react?
Quinta Brunson
No, I'd love for people to react, you know, like, we do this so people can engage with our work. But no. A woman. I was leaving the airport and a woman stopped me and she was like, are you Quinta? I was like, I am, yeah. She was like, okay, you need to get Jeanine and Gregory back together. And I was just like, okay. She was like, mm, have fun while you're in New York, but do what you gotta do.
Jimmy Fallon
Okay.
Quinta Brunson
So it's. It's been the first time it's right at my face. But I appreciate that.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. What can we say about the season finale?
Quinta Brunson
The season finale. Our school always takes a field trip, but this time it's the teachers who are taking a field trip to Miami for their annual teachers conference.
Jimmy Fallon
Fun.
Quinta Brunson
It's going to be fun. And also in this we have a two part finale. We have one of my favorite guest stars who I love, the Eagles. It's another Eagle. I'm sorry, but another Eagle joining us.
Jimmy Fallon
Okay, good. Yeah, we love it.
Quinta Brunson
I'm not going to stop until I have the whole entire team.
Jimmy Fallon
Okay.
Quinta Brunson
But it's just. Yeah, it's a fun one. It's a big one. There's a lot of real life stuff happening in there. Taken from the headlines, kind of. So it's gonna be exciting.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Darren Criss
That's right.
Jimmy Fallon
Queens of Bronson, everyone. This season finale of Abbott elementary airs this Wednesday at 8pm on ABC and streams on Hulu. More Tonight show after the Break. Stick around, everybody. I was a pup. I was designable from. It's always great to see you. Looking sharp, bud.
Darren Criss
Thanks, man. I get to be on Fallon. This is a special thing.
Jimmy Fallon
Nah, come on. Also, by the way, it was an honor to meet your wife finally backstage.
Darren Criss
Oh, the woman behind the magic.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes, finally. She's awesome.
Darren Criss
Real deal.
Jimmy Fallon
I was lucky enough to go see this great play, maybe Happy ending.
Darren Criss
There it is.
Jimmy Fallon
And you were.
Taylor Dearden
Thanks, man.
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you for coming.
Darren Criss
I know there's a lot. There's a lot of airlines to choose from, so we appreciate you choosing the maybe Happy Airlines.
Jimmy Fallon
I had the greatest time. I went with my daughter Franny. We went to go check out so Cool, man. And it was the best. And then you were so nice to us that you gave us the time and talked to us after the show, and you must be exhausted after that. No, man.
Darren Criss
It's so invigorating. I mean, I think you relate to this. I think we're both excitable guys. When we get excited about things. It is a genuine thing. And we're just about to pass 600 performances of this thing. And I.
Jimmy Fallon
It's amazing.
Darren Criss
It's a huge milestone, and I feel the same way about it every time that I do. That's not. That's not a canned line to sound cool. Like, I genuinely love the piece. And so when people I admire and appreciate, you know, people whose output and, you know, thing in life is inspirational to me, it's fun to get to share that with people when they come to see the show. So I thank you. I really, really love doing it. I only have four more weeks left. I'm a little bummed about it, but the show will still be running, so do.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. Go see the show. We got four weeks to go if you want to see Darren. But by the way, you got Tony's congratulations on this. But also, you just got honored. You got your own portrait at Sardis. Now we're talking. Yes, yes. Pretty cool. Now we're talking.
Darren Criss
Yeah, that's, you know, contrary to things like the Tonys, which obviously is a massive, massive, massive honor, especially for theater kids. This is kind of a special superlative because it's not competitive. You know, it's just a celebration. You're not up against anybody, which is some. You know, it's its own subjective.
Jimmy Fallon
You're just being honored.
Darren Criss
Yeah. Being honored by. And theater has so, you know, it's like being in New York. There's so many traditions that people have that are very specific to New York life. Sardi's portraits, if you guys are unfamiliar, is like an old school New York thing. And, you know, the first time I came to New York by myself, I went because I loved Muppets Take Manhattan. I'm a huge Muppets fan.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Darren Criss
So there's this whole bit where, like, Kermit goes in there masquerading as, like, a producer. And he's got, like, a pencil, you know, mustache.
Jimmy Fallon
Yes.
Darren Criss
And he takes down Liza Minnelli's portrait and he puts his own and he sits underneath it and tries to, you know, kind of be an important piece.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Darren Criss
So they can get their show produced. And I always thought that was so cool. It's the first time I'd ever seen what Sardis was. So by the time I'm in my early 20s, I'm like, I go on this pilgrimage to go to Sardis and go see that portrait, which is still up at Sardis.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. Well, here's the thing that I love about. They do it so well. They honor you. They unveiled the portrait. And then usually someone will come out and say something nice about you. Yeah.
Darren Criss
Yes. Thank you for that segue. I had a special guest. It was a big ask, and I thought it would be met with a no. But I'll be damned if I didn't get Kermit the Frog to.
Jimmy Fallon
Now that's him on the right, not the left, that's Kermit the Frog.
Darren Criss
And on the left, that's one of my great heroes. My favorite actor is Mr. Sam Rockwell, who actually made me my own portrait. So with no disrespect to the portrait they gave me, he drew his own thing that.
Jimmy Fallon
Now is Sam operating. Kermit with the other hand.
Darren Criss
Who knows who's. We don't know who's the man in many town. I think it's the other way around.
Jimmy Fallon
I think Kermit, he's operating. Sam Rockwell. Wait, two magical people.
Darren Criss
Yeah. I mean, those mean a lot, a lot, a lot to me. And it was, you know, it's a silly thing, but my love language, as I said at the Sardis thing, my love language is silly, silly traditions. And so it really meant a lot to me to have those two legends, incredible legends be there for me. And I agree.
Jimmy Fallon
Congratulations on the dream. Thank you. I gotta go back to Sardis.
Darren Criss
It's an amazing thing.
Jimmy Fallon
Go to Sardis if you're in New York City and go look at all and go see Darren's portrait on the wall. By the way, I just wanted to just show real quick here's here's Darren with Tony. Come on. That's Tonys. No big deal.
Darren Criss
Yeah, pretty cool, man.
Jimmy Fallon
No big deal. I mean, that's amazing. Gosh, I love the Tonys. I love the Tonys. I love the Tonys.
Darren Criss
Yeah, it's a cool show. Cause everybody is doing the thing that they're doing. You know, they. So let me just walk people through this. Whether you're familiar with the Tonys or not. So that day, that particular day, by this time I have. I've already done. I did two shows on Saturday, the day before on Broadway, and we also had a matinee that day. So that means that morning, because I also hosted the first half of the Tonys. So we were up for all these Tony Awards and that's stressful enough for people, but I actually also had to host it. So we did the. So I had like a 5am, 6am rehearsal for camera to do the hosting bit. And then we did a rehearsal in full costume, hair and makeup, doing the number because we were doing a song from the show in there. Then we all went back to the theater, did our matinee, then from there immediately went back to the theater to get out of hair and makeup into new hair and makeup. You know, try and get your red carpet look, get your fit all sorted out. You do all that talk to all the people, do the thing, getting excited. You sit down and then you watch the show. And then in the middle of the show, they say, okay, come back. And by the way, I've also hosted the first half. So this is just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Then I barely get a second. I probably sat at the Tonys for like maybe 40 seconds. I sat down, they said, it's time to get up. I got back up in costume, put my robot, like drag beat back on, and then we did the performance. And then it was just bang, bang, bang. And also, I've hosted an after after party for the Tonys for many years. I had no idea that I'd be in this situation. You're exhausted when I plan to do this. So I just went from probably, I think I want to say 5am to maybe 9am the next day. Straight shot. And this was somewhere in the middle of that. Some people, how are the Tonys? I go, I'm not sure.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, I think it was great.
Darren Criss
I think I was there. It was pretty hid.
Jimmy Fallon
It's great to look around and see all that talent in that room and just everybody is just supporting each other.
Darren Criss
You all know each other, which is a really Special thing. Cause it's, you know, with no disrespect to all the other kind of major awards, which are a huge honor, that we all know each other. We all work within 10 blocks of each other, and we've all. We're all working in these tiny closets. And it's not like your own community here at 30 Rock. You guys all know the infrastructure, the people, the faces. You know, everybody has a real community here that is very much part of being in New York, which is we're all living on top of each other. So if you choose to look at it the right way, those are your comrades and your friends that support this.
Jimmy Fallon
But, Darren, you're also doing this thing that the Internet is freaking out for. For the last three years, someone from Glee has won a Tony award.
Darren Criss
Oh, wow, that's convenient.
Jimmy Fallon
I mean. Yeah, that looks off.
Darren Criss
Is there inside baseball going on? Inside of trading going on?
Jimmy Fallon
I don't know which came first, the Broadway or the Glee.
Darren Criss
I think people who had a. A yen for theatricality, I think probably came first. I mean, I don't think that's a coincidence. If all three of us worked in, like, the same coal mine, maybe this would be bizarre. But I think we all came up doing theater, and so I think it stands to reason, and right now, we have a lot of, you know, Glee folks on Broadway and off Broadway shout out to all those people doing off Broadway show. Yeah, a lot of cool people.
Jimmy Fallon
So you're a Glee fan.
Darren Criss
New York's chock full of theater people.
Jimmy Fallon
Talented people.
Darren Criss
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Jimmy Fallon
I want to talk about the show just in case anyone wants to run out. And you got to get tickets to go this year.
Darren Criss
And you know what? The tour is going out this fall too. So if you don't necessarily come to New York, if you want to go look online, we're going on tour. I won't be there, but the show will be. And I have to say, if you're unfamiliar with the show, the star of the show, and I think you can co sign on, this is the show. It's unlike anything you've ever seen. I would encourage you to know as little as possible. It rewards that we didn't know anything going in. Yeah. In this day and age, to actually not know anything about something and be like, it's a surprise, and go, surprise.
Jimmy Fallon
It's nice to.
Darren Criss
It packs a punch.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm trying to keep it. Yeah. Because my daughter's right next to me.
Darren Criss
I was like, yeah, it's a beautiful.
Jimmy Fallon
But in a good Way. In a good cry don't cry, don't cry It's a good cry In a
Darren Criss
sweet, sweet love Gosh, I loved it.
Jimmy Fallon
And, man, you could sing. And it was just. Everybody's so talented on that thing. And just the way it looked to the stage direction and moving.
Darren Criss
There's a lot there. Come see for yourself.
Jimmy Fallon
I've never seen anything like it, but how do we explain who you play?
Darren Criss
I play. It's a tough. I think all my favorite stories in the world, the ones that we really love, are the most difficult in the absence of anything being like it. So, because it is so singular. It sounds weird, but it's about. It's in the not too distant future, you have two helper bots, not unlike your digital assistants on your phone, except they're more humanoid. They're retired helper bots that have been kind of, like, put out to pasture in these.
Jimmy Fallon
Kind of Waiting for their owner to
Darren Criss
come back or just to reach the end of their battery life. And so there's some parallels to life itself and how we go through this world and our own limited battery life. But we look at it through the lens of these helper bots. It's a lot more fun than it sounds. They decide to break out of this institution and find some of their former owners. And I promise you, it's much more hopeful than Jimmy's. No, Jimmy's Face is.
Jimmy Fallon
The songs are catchy. It's funny. It's so romantic, beautiful, and fun.
Darren Criss
And I play a robot. I should. That's probably not a small detail to
Jimmy Fallon
glaze over, but how many years have you. Is it two years? Almost.
Darren Criss
I've been doing it. Yeah, almost. I feel a year and a half. Yeah. And we came here and we got to. I'd always want. Dude, I've always wanted to do, like, a number on Fallon.
Jimmy Fallon
I got to do it. Yeah. You were great.
Darren Criss
And like, all this, I got to come here and do a live musical theater performance on tv. I mean, that was fun.
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you for doing that. Come on.
Darren Criss
We love that. We were so grateful. What an opportunity, you know?
Jimmy Fallon
What are you gonna take away from this when it ends so much, man,
Darren Criss
you know, the show is about cherishing the time that you're given. And so I am supremely, keenly aware of the fleeting nature of the beautiful things in life. At all times. While I'm doing it, I will cherish this moment, the one right here, getting to talk to you, getting to be in the show for the rest of my life. It's the most remarkable, extraordinary chapter that I will cherish forever and ever and ever. Amen.
Jimmy Fallon
Come on, Darren Criss right there. Come on. That's how you do it. Maybe. Happy Ending is playing now on Broadway at the Belasco Theater. And I'll be right back with more tonight. Joe, everybody, come on back. Our next guest is a talented actress, you know as Dr. Mel King on the pit. Season two. Season two is streaming now on HBO. Max, please welcome Taylor Dearden, everybody. All right, Taylor, Taylor, welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Congratulations on the Pit. Oh, my gosh. Is it a giant hit? We love it. Everyone loves your character, Dr. Mel King, one of the most beloved characters on television, I would say. Congratulations on that.
Taylor Dearden
Thank you very much.
Jimmy Fallon
How does it feel to be part of a giant hit?
Taylor Dearden
Um, it's definitely odd.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, I think.
Taylor Dearden
Cause, you know, as an actor, we expect to not ever work. And if we do, it's like, oh, my God, that's great. And then we expect it to end. And so I think the whole that people are actually watching it thing is just kind of new.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, it's fantastic. Good for you. Do you watch the show week to week? Would you ever watch your show?
Taylor Dearden
I don't really like watching myself, but I have to. Cause my mom wants me to tell her when to not look.
Jimmy Fallon
Wait, your mom wants you to tell you when to not look?
Taylor Dearden
Yeah. So I have to sit next to her and, like, poke her to look down and then look up again while watching the show.
Jimmy Fallon
Like the gory parts?
Taylor Dearden
Yeah, all the gore. And it's funny. Cause she'll get really mad at me if I miss it. If I'm, like, a little late. I'm like, oh, sorry, don't look. And she'll get mad at me. And I'm like, I wasn't in the scene. I don't remember what happened.
Jimmy Fallon
It's like I wasn't there, Mom.
Darren Criss
I wasn't supposed to do that.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, I can't now. You have to watch the show and then watch it again with your mom. Yeah, of course. There's one scene in particular from last week's finale that, as everyone was talking about. This is you doing karaoke. Ah, that was fantastic. Dr. King, Dr. Trinity Santos. You were singing Alanis Morissette's yous Ought to Know, and you crushed it.
Quinta Brunson
Thank you.
Jimmy Fallon
When you first read this scene in the script, what's your reaction?
Taylor Dearden
Well, it actually wasn't in the script. And so at the last episode, we were all, like, doing our charts and scanning and shredding stuff. And Issa was sitting across from me, and she goes, what are you gonna wear for the karaoke thing? And I was like, I don't.
Jimmy Fallon
What Karaoke.
Taylor Dearden
Know what you're talking about. This is a medical drama. I don't know if you know that.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah.
Taylor Dearden
And she was like, there's a thing coming up, and it wasn't in the script. And I got the script and I read it. I'm like, what is happening? And then I asked Scott, who created our show, Scott Gemmel, and he's like, oh, yeah, we might do something. And that's, like, all I got.
Jimmy Fallon
We might do something. Do you do karaoke in real life?
Taylor Dearden
No, I'm afraid to sing.
Jimmy Fallon
You're afraid to sing?
Taylor Dearden
I'm afraid to sing, yes. Really?
Jimmy Fallon
So if you went to a karaoke. Well, you wouldn't go to a karaoke?
Taylor Dearden
I wouldn't, but I feel like there's something that is different when it's like a character, because then it's not really me. I don't know why, but I've been told I was a terrible singer for a lot of my life.
Jimmy Fallon
Wow.
Quinta Brunson
Wow.
Jimmy Fallon
It's good to get it out.
Taylor Dearden
No, I just think it's funny.
Jimmy Fallon
No. Well, dude, you did pretty great in this singing Alanis Morissette. I will tell you that. In fact, I feel the angst. In fact, Alanis Morissette herself posted paging doctor sent as Dr. King. You got the thumbs up. You got the thumbs up for the one and only Alanis Morissette. Come on. That's gotta feel good.
Darren Criss
It's everything.
Jimmy Fallon
That's gotta feel good.
Taylor Dearden
It's amazing. Yeah, I. I just got a text from Issa that said, we did it. And then it was that screenshot, and
Jimmy Fallon
I was like, yes, yeah, yeah, we did do it. There's another memorable musical moment in the show, but this time it was with our pal, Megan Thee, Stallion. Yep. Yeah, yeah. Come on. Come on. Which one was tougher, doing karaoke as Alanis or doing Megan Thee Stallion?
Taylor Dearden
I think actually Megan Thee, Stallion. Because I shouldn't have any rhythm, and so it's kind of hard to just make it more mantra sounding. But I don't know.
Jimmy Fallon
There was.
Taylor Dearden
We had a blast. I have a blast doing that.
Darren Criss
Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. You do such a great job on the show. I always love it when anyone's on a medical show. I have him on the show and I go, do you know any terms? Do people treat you like a doctor? Do people ask you questions? And, hey, will you look at this.
Taylor Dearden
Yes. Which is always, like, you don't want anyone to just say, I have a growth and show you, like, oh, God, I'm an actor.
Jimmy Fallon
Yeah. So you don't know. You don't give out at all.
Quinta Brunson
No.
Taylor Dearden
But also, my family has started texting. They should know that. I don't know. But it's for some reason, too. Every time they text, it's like, okay, I do know that one. All right, but stop texting me.
Jimmy Fallon
Cause, like, that's it. Yeah.
Taylor Dearden
Yeah. The rest of it, I definitely don't know.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm an actor. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Taylor Dearden, everybody. Taylor Dearden. The Pit is streaming now on hbo. Max, come on back. Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts, Watch the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.
Episode: Trump Wages War with Pope Leo XIV | Quinta Brunson, Darren Criss, Taylor Dearden
Date: April 20, 2026
This lively Tonight Show episode features Jimmy Fallon's signature blend of topical humor, celebrity interviews, and comedic sketches. The main theme revolves around playful takes on political headlines (notably Trump’s bizarre feud with Pope Leo XIV), pop culture banter, and behind-the-scenes stories from actors Quinta Brunson, Darren Criss, and Taylor Dearden. The episode is festive and irreverent, befitting its 4/20 airdate, with a rapid-fire pace and ample comic improv.
[00:00–04:54]
[04:54–08:51]
[09:26–11:05]
[12:03–21:08]
[21:28–31:20]
[32:21–36:25]
Jimmy Fallon [Monologue, 00:41]:
“In the beginning, God created the heavens and Burger King, Wendy’s and McDonald’s.”
Jeff and Steph (Taylor Dearden), [07:54]:
“Nothing.” (On what ‘Love is a scorpion’ means)
Quinta Brunson [16:41]:
“My mom was really proud of me.”
Unidentified Woman to Quinta, relayed by Quinta Brunson [20:08]:
“You need to get Jeanine and Gregory back together.”
Darren Criss [24:50]:
“My love language is silly, silly traditions.”
Taylor Dearden [32:56]:
“My mom wants me to tell her when to not look.”
Taylor Dearden [35:16]:
“I just got a text from Issa that said, ‘We did it,’ and then it was that screenshot.”
This episode captured quintessential Tonight Show energy: equal parts silly, topical, and heartfelt. Jimmy’s rapport with guests kept the show moving briskly between news parody, nostalgic stories, and genuine showbiz conversations. Each guest provided a unique “backstage” view of TV and theater life, while recurring bits like the “Love is a scorpion” song parody and the sponsor spoof showcased the show’s comedic inventiveness.
If you missed the episode, you missed a seamless blend of satirical current events, personal moments from top TV talent, and the sort of unpredictably charming banter that only Fallon’s Tonight Show brings.