Trump’s Three-Phase Plan for Venezuela | Chelsea Handler, Sophie Turner, Hudson Williams | Wednesday, January 7

Summary

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Episode Date: January 8, 2026

Guests: Chelsea Handler, Sophie Turner, Hudson Williams

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Overview

This episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon is packed with sharp political satire, pop culture references, and high-energy celebrity interviews. Jimmy Fallon’s monologue dives into recent political developments, including Trump’s "three-phase plan for Venezuela," followed by a series of comedic sketches, guest appearances, and lively conversations. Highlights include Chelsea Handler sharing outrageous stories from her travels and stand-up tour, Sophie Turner discussing her new show and upcoming Tomb Raider role, and a playful debate around TV drama with cast members from "Heated Rivalry."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Monologue & Political Satire

(00:06–05:35)

• Winter Olympics Joke: Fallon jokes about the U.S. men's hockey team playing shirtless and makes plenty of double entendres ("a lot of pucking backstage").
• Heated Rivalry Cast: Jokes about Hudson Williams and the Canadian heartthrob torch.
• Trump Administration Parody:
  • Introduces Trump’s "three-phase plan for Venezuela: stabilization, recovery, transition" with a Domino's Pizza Tracker analogy:
    • “It’s basically the same plan as building a dresser from Ikea.” (02:10)
  • Mocks news about Trump wanting to buy Greenland, saying he’s playing Monopoly and Battleship at the same time.
  • Fake Trump supporter interview satirizes absurd public expectations:
    • "My true dream is that he'll rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. But that's just me being selfish." (03:39–03:47)
  • Recaps Trump’s “schedule” in rap/poetry style—highlighting various antics, including his rumored interest in kidnapping a "guy Epstein" and preference for Diet Coke over cocaine.

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2. Pop Culture Gags & Sketches

(05:35–12:18)

• RFK Jr. & Dietary Guidelines:
  • Fallon makes fun of RFK Jr.'s call for less sugar and his "quack" ringtone.
• Starbucks Menu Changes:
  • Tariq Trotter provides a parody business analysis — likening menu drama to relationship troubles on "Heated Rivalry."
  • Heated debate (mock-serious) about the emotional complexity of the show's characters, Shane and Ilya, cleverly tied back to Starbucks customer reactions.
    • "Fear explains behavior. It doesn't excuse it." (07:45)
• Hudson Williams Appearance:
  • Jumps in to stop the mock argument: “Please stop fighting. You're both right.” (08:19)
• Lightning Capital Sketch:
  • Fallon interviews Steve Rollins, an Oklahoman supposedly struck by lightning 47 times—full of surreal, absurdist humor.

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3. Chelsea Handler & Jimmy Fallon: Skiing Confessions Sketch

(11:21–13:14)

• Fallon and Handler fake a perilous ski trip, leading to a tongue-in-cheek, rapid-fire confessional exchange:
  • Handler: "A lot of people don't think I like kids. And it’s not true. I hate them." (12:06)
  • Fallon: "My best friend's name is Potential Spam." (12:43)
• Both joke about showbiz secrets, wedding songs, and celebrity crushes before "surviving" the run.

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4. Chelsea Handler: Interview & Stories

(13:14–23:27)

• Critics’ Choice Award: Fallon congratulates Handler on her fourth win.
  • Handler praises her love of roast-style humor, citing a missed joke about DiCaprio and Bezos on a yacht at a climate summit.
    • “It was like Titanic, but worse because Jeff Bezos was there.” (15:01)
• Trips to Antarctica and Psychedelic Cruises:
  • Handler shares her mission to find ice for her drinks and her experience on a psychedelic cruise:
    • “Half the boat was researching psychedelics, and the other half were on them—and I was in the second group.” (16:07)
  • Recaps wild Vegas gambling story where she invites a stranger she meets at a table on her Antarctica trip.
• Penguin Antics: Handler delights in the clumsiness of penguins, wonders why evolution hasn't helped them more.
• Kayaking with a Humpback Whale:
  • Handler: “It made me believe in God, that trip. For a couple of days, anyway.” (19:04–19:12)
• Fundraising Auction – Breakup Call Service:
  • Handler offers to break up with people’s significant others as a comedic side hustle.
    • “That’s a perfect service for me to provide.” (19:41)
• High and Mighty Tour: Handler talks about the new material, including adventures, relationships, and microdosing psychedelics.
  • “I want people just to be happier than they are. The world is a very ugly place, and I really think I can help.” (21:00–21:08)
  • Shares an anecdote about gifting microdoses to an elderly couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in Mallorca, which led them to renew their vows.
    • Fallon: "You did not give these people—?”
    • Handler: "They said, ‘We renewed our vows to each other...do you have any more LSD?’ Am I a healer?” (22:14–23:27)
  • Fallon: "Yes, you are. You're nothing but a healer, Chelsea Handler, everybody!" (23:27)

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5. Sophie Turner: Interview

(24:24–31:00)

• New Year’s Gift: Turner gifts Fallon Scottish coal for luck, explaining the “first footing” tradition:
  • “It’s a symbol of warming your home for the new year.” (25:10–25:16)
• Tomb Raider Announcement: Reveals she will play Lara Croft in an upcoming Amazon Prime series, written by Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
• Training for Role: Has already been in training for months, jokes about thumb strength and offers to thumb-wrestle Jimmy.
  • “Do you want this smoke?” (26:43, Turner to Fallon)
  • Fallon loses, marvels at her thumb power: "Are you very strong? Your thumb strength—" (27:35)
• Game of Thrones Anniversary:
  • Reflects on the 15 years since the show began.
  • Turner admits she can’t rewatch it, joking the theme gives her “PTSD.” (28:13–28:20)
  • Tells sweet story of her background-actor grandfather inspiring her career and wearing his wedding ring during her Game of Thrones audition:
    • “He was my hero. My total hero… I wore [his wedding ring] for the screen test, and I got the role.” (29:08)
• New Series: Steel:
  • Describes the show as a “high-octane heist thriller” with lots of twists and turns.
    • “Episode one... there’s a crazy twist at the beginning.” (30:08)
  • Admits she prefers watching “Real Housewives” to dramatic thrillers.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Fallon on Trump’s Plan (02:10):
  “It’s basically the same plan as building a dresser from Ikea.”
• Chelsea Handler on Her Brand of Comedy (14:31):
  “I like to make fun of people right to their face.”
• Chelsea Handler, Antarctica Trip (16:07):
  “Half the boat was researching psychedelics, and the other half were on them—and I was in the second group.”
• Handler on Healing (21:08):
  “I want people just to be happier than they are. The world is a very ugly place, and I really think I can help.”
• Sophie Turner, First-Footing Tradition (25:10):
  “It’s a symbol of warming your home for the new year. So I brought you some Scottish coal.”
• Turner, Lara Croft Announcement (25:55):
  “I’ve been training since February last year, so I feel like I could probably beat you up right now.”
• Turner, Game of Thrones Reflection (28:20):
  "Hearing the Game of Thrones theme tune gives me, like, PTSD."
• Handler, Mallorca Microdosing Story (23:27):
  “Do you have any more LSD? Am I a healer?”
• Turner on Watching Herself Act (28:33):
  "I learned how to act on that show in front of millions of people. It was really embarrassing."

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:06 – Opening monologue and Trump satire
• 03:36 – Fake Trump supporter interview
• 05:35 – RFK Jr. and dietary gag
• 06:35 – Starbucks/Heated Rivalry extended bit
• 11:21 – Handler/Fallon skiing confessions sketch
• 13:14 – Chelsea Handler interview: awards, Antarctica, Vegas
• 19:04 – Handler on humpback whale/faith
• 19:41 – Breakup call auction story
• 22:14 – Mallorca microdosing story
• 24:24 – Sophie Turner interview: gift, Tomb Raider, thumb wrestling
• 27:42 – Game of Thrones anniversary/reflection
• 29:44 – Steel series description and wrap-up

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode maintains the classic high-energy, quick-witted spirit of "The Tonight Show." Fallon balances political parody with celebrity charm and running gags, encouraging playful, confessional banter among his guests. Handler’s irreverence and Turner’s wit stand out, offering both outrageous humor and sweet, personal anecdotes. The overall mood is upbeat, irreverent, and peppered with unpredictable moments.

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Summary

This episode of The Tonight Show offers the perfect blend of topical humor, celebrity revelations, and absurd sketches. Whether satirizing the latest political news or discussing penguin highways and thumb-strength showdowns, Fallon and his guests deliver an entertaining and unpredictable hour. Chelsea Handler’s stories about psychedelics and globe-trotting antics pair perfectly with Sophie Turner’s earnest charisma—delivering laughs and surprises at every turn.

Transcript

[A]

From Studio 16, Rockabeller center, in the heart of New York City, Mr. Tonight show, starring Jimmy Fallon. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Tonight joins Jimmy and his guests, Kelsey Hannah, Sophie Turner, Hudson Williams. And featuring the legendary Ruth Cru. 2236. Yeah. And now here he is, Jimmy Sa. I love it. Thank you very much. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show. You're here. You made it. This is it. This is the place to be. Hot show tonight, you guys. I'm excited about this. Chelsea Handler is my guest tonight. Plus, we have Sophie Turner. And from the new hit show Heated Rivalry, Hudson Williams is here. But NBC announced that for the Winter Olympics, the U.S. men's hockey team is gonna play shirtless. There you go. Come on, now. Yeah, it's a show about hockey, and let's just say there's a lot of pucking. Backstage. Hudson said that he wants to reveal some stuff about the show, and I was like, oh, I think you've revealed plenty of yes. Heated rivalry is huge. It's that show that Mike Pence watches while breathing into a paper bag. Mother, mother, get in here. I read that Hudson Williams is from Canada today. Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling were like, the sexy Canadian torch has been passed. I'm serious. Right now. There's 1,000 women outside 30 Rock. Like, you can call me Venezuela and take me whenever you want. Let's go. Some political news today. The Trump administration announced that their plan for Venezuela has three stabilization, recovery, and transition. And to make it easy for Trump to follow, they made him a Domino's pizza tracker. Yep. Stabilization, recovery, and transition. It's basically the same plan as building a dresser from Ikea. And now the US Is calling on Venezuela to end their relationship with Russia. Venezuela was like, um. Seems more like a you thing. Meanwhile, Marco Rubio just told lawmakers that Trump wants to buy Greenland from Denmark. Yep. Trump's buying properties and seizing boats. He's pretty much playing Monopoly and Battleship at this point. The only way to get Trump away from Greenland is convincing him that's where vegetables come from. Yep. Trump continues to talk about running Venezuela and taking control of Greenland. And you might not think that's what his voters elected him to do, but check out this interview we did with a Trump supporter right before he began his second term. This is real. Yeah. Sir, you voted for President Trump. What are you hoping to see from.

[B]

A second Trump administration?

[A]

Well, the two things that would most help my family would have to be launching a secret mission to depose the.

[B]

Leader of Venezuela so we can control.

[A]

Their oil Reserves and buying Greenland. Of course. My true dream is that it'll rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. But that's just me being selfish. He knows I got everything. He. He knows what they want. Oh, my gosh. Well, guys, the President had a very busy start to the year. And if you had trouble keeping track of his schedule, don't worry. We've got you covered here. I'll break it down for you right now. Monday meetings, Tuesday speech. Wednesday interview. Every time. Fall asleep. Thursday, Greenland looking fine. Tell the whole world this is mine. France is mad and says no way. We'll trade you. Chalamet, take a break and watch tv. Check out Heated rivalry. Change the spell for Russian baddie. Omg. It's me and Vladdy. Golf and tan. Then kidnap guy Epstein. Stories say bye bye. Seize their cocaine. Do not try it. I like coke, but only diet. Golf, sleep. Tan, sleep. Nice siesta RIP My bestie Vecna. Tan, sleep. Let's invade asap. But first, I'll take another nap. Thank you. We'll get this. Today, RFK Jr announced new dietary guidelines which urge Americans to eat less sugar. RFK Jr said, Today our government declares war on added sugar. And then a few minutes later, SEAL Team six captured Captain Crunch. The hat. It's terrible. Get this. I said that. While RFK Jr. Was announcing the new guidelines, his phone rang. Did you see this? This is true. And he had a pretty interesting ringtone. This is real.

[B]

Watch this.

[A]

We only released these earlier. Two days earlier. I'm sorry. Rfk Jr. S ringtone is a quack. Even Dr. Oz saw that's a little too on the nose. I'm just saying that's a quack. My gosh. You guys see this? Starbucks is replacing their popular holiday menu items like the creme brulee latte with new winter items like the caramel protein latte and the iced Dubai chocolate mocha. Some customers are happy about this, while others are a little upset about this. To give us more background on this decision is our business expertise. Tariq Trotter. Tarek. Thanks. Thanks, Jimmy. Whenever companies decide to change their menus, it can lead to tension with their customers. But to use an example, it's kinda like, you know, Shane and Ilya from Heated Rivalry. Much like Shane, Starbucks sudden menu changes can feel all over the place. Hang on, Tariq. I gotta stop you right there. Whoa, whoa. What? Are you confused? I'm planning to dive into Starbucks retail strategy. Nah, that's not necessary. I just think it's calling Shane's Actions all over the place is simplifying things way too much. You're ignoring his anxieties. He's vulnerable. He's. He's deeply human. Oh, give me a break. Ilya knows how to process his feelings. Shane only knows how to avoid them. Shane doesn't hurt Ilya because he doesn't care. He hurts him because he's scared. Don't give me that. Fear explains behavior. It doesn't excuse it. And you know that's true. You're ignoring Shane's career, his safety, his whole life. He's an MLH All Star. And you're ignoring Ilia's emotions. Love and Dedica. Look, what about the tuna milk? Oh, sure. Oh, sure. Tariq, act like Shane isn't trying to grow. He isn't putting in the work, right? Don't put words in my mouth. The Ilia was more blunt and cold on the outside, but on the inside. See, on the inside, he was open from the start. And Shane made him work for it. Shane loves him, too. Love. But sometimes. Sometimes love takes time. Love takes courage. What Ilya deserved from Shane from the start was honesty and transparency, not rash decisions. Which is exactly what customers deserve from Starbucks. Hey, guys.

[B]

Hey. Hey, Hudson.

[A]

What's up, Hudson? Hey, Hudson. Hey. Please stop fighting. You're both right. Okay, cool. Thank you for solving that. Hudson Williams, Switching gears. Uh, I read that scientists think they may have found DNA belonging to Leonardo da Vinci. Ooh. Which means I'm one step closer to my dream of opening Da Vinci Park. Well, he's getting out of the cage. Let's go to the Dan Brown exhibit. I love you, Dan Brown. Well, this is interesting. Oklahoma has now overtaken Florida to become the new lightning capital of the US Here to share his reaction is Steve Rollins, an Oklahoma native who has been struck by lightning over 47 times. No. Hey, Steve.

[B]

No.

[A]

Steve, turn your body. Turn your body. There. No. Yeah. No, the other way. There you go, right there. There you go, Steve. Thank you. My bad, Steve. No, my bad, Steve. No, no. You're Steve. I'm Jimmy, and together we are Captain Planet. Okay, sure. So you're in the lightning capital of the US and you've been struck 47 times. How has that affected you? Baked potatoes, Jimmy. And it's not even close. Well, you're certainly smiling a lot. You sure you feel okay? I have never felt better, dad.

[B]

Meow.

[A]

Listen, I have good days and I have Brad days, but the doctor said my brain is 100% shoe op chihuahu Wally yippity boom dee Boom. I'm a lucky man. And the important thing is, when Jigglypuff wins that Oscar, I'll be right here doing the Macarena naked. Uh, we'll be right back with more Musketeers right after this. Hit it, Groot. Um, it's. It's not a freeze frame. Oh, I know. I just freeze sometimes. Back to you, Mr. President. Okay, thank you, Steve Rollins, everybody. A man who was struck by lightning. There he is. No, he's waving the wrong way. He's waving the wrong way. That's right. Why are you doing that? Moving on. Finally, I saw that American Airlines just announced that they're launching free high speed WI Fi for passengers. Yeah, Spirit was like. We also have free WI Fi when we fly close to an American Airlines plane. We have a great show. Chelsea Handler's here. Sophie Turner is joining us from Heated Rivalry. Hudson Williams is here. Stick around. We're doing something fun with Chelsea Handler when we come back. Come on to the Beat o party Having people guaranteed to be like having a ball. This is so fun. Thanks for skiing with me, Chelsea.

[B]

I'm sure, Jerry. I can't believe we're finally doing this.

[A]

What, you mean skiing together?

[B]

No, that I'm actually skiing with clothes on.

[A]

All right. Yeah. Hey, hey, wait. Is this the right.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't go down here. This is a black diamond.

[A]

No.

[B]

Well.

[A]

Oh, well, since we're obviously not going to survive this, I should probably get a few things off my chest. I've never told anyone this before, but you know that Cars for Kids song?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That was my wedding song.

[B]

I've never told anyone this before, but I'm in a throuple with the guys from Heated Rivalry. Oh, my God.

[A]

I have a chest tattoo of a third nipple, but you can't see it because it's on my second nipple.

[B]

A lot of people don't think I like kids. And it's not true. I hate them.

[A]

I actually invented the Choco Taco first, but mine failed because it was called the Vanilla Tortilla.

[B]

I had a talk show once, and then I realized it's the lamest job you could possibly have.

[A]

I once called my teacher Mom. And I called my mom teacher. And I called my dentist neighbor. And I called my neighbor dentist.

[B]

I have sex dreams about David Hasselhoff every single night.

[A]

My best friend's name is potential Spam.

[B]

When I said I wanted to go ski with you, I was lying. I thought I was texting Jimmy Kimmel.

[A]

Oh, no. Oh, no. This is It.

[B]

Hold my hand. Jimmy, hold my hand.

[A]

Wait. We made it. I can see the laughs from here.

[B]

Oh, my God. That wasn't so bad at all.

[A]

Yeah. Let's pretend this never happened.

[B]

You got it, buddy.

[A]

Whoa, whoa. 187 Zach. I was a pup. I was assigned to a pup. Get to know me. Our first guest is a Grammy nominated comedian and a seven time New York Times best selling author. Her new stand up tour is the High and Mighty Tour. And and tickets are on sale now@chelsea handler.com Please welcome Chelsea Handler.

[B]

Hi, guys.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

My gosh.

[A]

Chelsea Hanley, welcome back to the Today show. Oh, my God.

[B]

I'm so happy we finally got to ski together.

[A]

I know. Finally.

[B]

Thank you for It's a dream come true.

[A]

Thank you for doing that sketch with me.

[B]

Thank you for popping my cherries. It's indoor skiing.

[A]

Oh, thank you. Yes. Yeah, of course. Yes. Yes. I want to congratulate you on the Critics Choice Award. It's your fourth time and you crushed it yet again. You were unbelievable. Thank you. Amazing. Flawless.

[B]

Thank you so much. Thank you. I have a lot of fun doing that.

[A]

You love it.

[B]

I like to make fun of people right to their face, you know, And I always wake up though, and I think of like good punchlines, you know, I said to Leo DiCaprio, you were in. He got trapped on a boat in St. Barts. He almost couldn't make it home. And I said it was like the Titanic, but worse because Jeff Bezos was there. But I should have said, but it was for a good cause because they were at a climate summit, you know, like making fun of them being on the yacht or when I was talking to Tiana Taylor, I could have. I told her that my Pikachu pops for her.

[A]

Yes, I do remember that.

[B]

I used more colorful language. Yes, but. And I should have said to her, just like I told Benicio del Toro, room 307.

[A]

That would have been great.

[B]

So sometimes I'm like, oh, shoot, why didn't I think of it?

[A]

Oh, it was flawless. But it was fun.

[B]

Yeah, it was perfect.

[A]

You nailed it. It was great. And they all love you, by the way.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I don't know. You can't see because you're hosting, but the cutaway is to like, Ariana Grande gave you props.

[B]

Oh, did she?

[A]

Because you came out, she goes, oh, she looks good.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel good.

[A]

Yeah. Come on. You are hot.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you. You told me that you just went to Antarctica.

[B]

I went to Antarctica. I was looking for some Ice. I was in Europe over the summer, and they don't have any ice in the cocktails in Europe.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

There's nothing worse than getting a vodka soda and two ice cubes.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

So anyway, the ice is melting in Antarctica. I wanted to go down there and grab some before it's all gone. And so there was a psychedelic cruise going to Antarctica. And I was like, well, these are combining two of my biggest passions, ice and psychedelics.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So half of the boat was researching psychedelics, and the other half were on them, and I was in the second group.

[A]

Okay. All right. Okay, I understand.

[B]

Yeah. So it was a really fun adventure. And ice, like, if you ever get the opportunity to go to Antarctica, it was majestic. Like, there's a wall of ice that you see, like, when you pass 60 degrees longitude, where they're like, okay, you can see the first icebergs that, like, you know, are the beginning of Antarctica. And it looks like the north wall in Game of Thrones or something.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I mean, I was. You know, I was on a lot of drugs, but it was very exciting whether you're on drugs or not.

[A]

Hopefully it was real. We don't know.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, My memories are amaz. Yeah.

[A]

But you were telling me backstage that you brought someone that you met in Vegas.

[B]

Oh, yes. Yeah. This is a great story. So I met this guy in Vegas. I have a residency in Vegas. I perform there once a month. That's the schedule. I like to work, and I go and I gamble after my shows.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I always bring my girlfriends, and we gamble, and I give everyone money because I'm forcing them to gamble. So I want to provide them with the money. And they lost my money. So I had to go back to the casino the next night to win back the $3,000 that my friends had lost. And I went into the casino, and I just sat down at a table, and there's a guy sitting at the table that I went and sat down with, and he's wearing a cowboy hat, and he's got lots of chips, like, thousands of dollars of chips. I said, sir, I'm gonna need to borrow $1,000. And I said, I'll start winning probably, and then I'll pay you right back. So he gave me $1,000. I did start winning. I paid him back, and then I paid him back twice. You know, like, I was. You know, I was interest, whatever. Then I won my money, and then the table was popping like we were having a blast.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I was splitting twos. Against kings. Everyone was coming over, playing. Anyway, I leave, I get my money back. I make my money back like a responsible person. I go home to my bed. I mean, to the hotel, to my bed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then the next morning, I was getting the text from this guy, and he's like, hey, I had a really fun time with you last night. Like, I like your vibe. When can we see each other again? And I was like, listen, I'm off. I said. He goes, where are you going? I'm like, I'm going on an adventure. He's like, I like adventures. So I sent him the link for the trip to Antarctica, and then he came. To Antarctica.

[A]

That's cool. That's. I was like, wow. Whoa.

[B]

I like that. I like a big move like that. And then you better follow it up with some other big moves. You know what I mean?

[A]

I think so. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Well, he's in the green room right now, so he's listening, so.

[A]

Yeah. He's super cool.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you.

[A]

I loved him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a great story. That's crazy.

[B]

That's how I like to meet men, you know? Unexpected.

[A]

I didn't expect it.

[B]

Oh, look at the penguins. They were so helpless, you guys. They have these little flippers, but they're behind them. So when they. They call them penguin highways. When they go up and down to the water and then they keep falling and on their face, and they have no way to get back up. Yeah. I mean, they like it.

[A]

Yeah. Of course.

[B]

I don't know why evolution hasn't helped them out a little bit anymore, you know?

[A]

But look at this photo you brought.

[B]

This is insane. That's beautiful. That's a humpback whale.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

Yeah, that's a humpback whale. And we were kayaking right there in front of it.

[A]

Chelsea, that's gorgeous.

[B]

Beautiful. Yeah. I loved it. It made me believe in God, that trip.

[A]

Yes. That's the type of thing that does make you. That's right.

[B]

For a couple of days, anyway.

[A]

Sure. We're not. But then, as part of this trip, you auctioned off something. They said, hey, could you have anything we can auction off to raise money?

[B]

Yes. And I offered a breakup call where I would provide the service to call the person. Obviously, this would be on behalf of women.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wanting to break up with a husband or a boyfriend. And I deliver the news that the relationship is no more, is no longer viable, and that you just lost.

[A]

I've never heard of anyone doing that.

[B]

But don't you think that's A perfect service for me to provide the people.

[A]

I think it's genius. And now I think you should own this.

[B]

I definitely want to do a side hustle kind of business, and I don't want to even charge people. It would be my pleasure.

[A]

That's so funny. Did you do it yet or not?

[B]

I haven't done it yet. The guy who bought it doesn't seem like he's going to have a girlfriend anytime soon, so I'm not really worried about it.

[A]

I want to talk about your new tour. By the way, your last one was fantastic. Thank you. I love your special. Thank you. This is the High and Mighty Tour. Congratulations on this. What are you. What are we discussing on this tour?

[B]

We're discussing. Well, listen, we're going to be discussing a lot of my adventures. I've been on a lot of adventures this year. I've now been to every continent. I've now had sex on every continent.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And I've now. And I have a lot of wisdom to share about my travels. And I love. One of my passions is, you know, I love microdosing. Lsd, mdma, whatever, really you have. And I love to spread that kind of sunshine around the world. You know, I bring drugs into foreign lands, and I give people who I think need the medicine. The medicine. You know, like, I feel like I'm a healer. Like a shaman.

[A]

A healer or. Or a dealer. Oh, a shop. I say dealer.

[B]

I say dealer.

[A]

You're a shaman.

[B]

I like a shaman. I want people just to be happier than they are. The world is a very ugly place, and I really think I can help.

[A]

Yeah, come on.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes, you can.

[B]

So I just, you know, I get to travel all over the world for this. And then I had a really fun experience in Mallorca a couple years ago. There was this older couple, they were in their 80s, and they were walking past my house in Mallorca. I have a house there that I bought years ago. And I. And I. And they were. They were just. The way they were holding each other's hands was really sweet, you know, And I stopped them. I said, what's the deal? And they were like. We were celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. And I was like, whoa, I can't imagine, you know, being married to someone for 50 years. That's incredible. I could see something special about you guys. I said, I have a couple kayaks here if you want to borrow the kayaks. I'd love to be part of your anniversary in some capacity. And they were like, oh, we Would love a kayak ride. And they got into the kayak and then in my pocket I had a little lsd. And I said, have either two of you. I obviously asked them about their health history because I'm a medical practitioner. And I said, have either of you. I'm not. I said, have either of you had any heart issues or strokes or anything.

[A]

You did not give these people?

[B]

I said, it's a microdose. It's a tiny microdose. I said, listen, you don't have to do it, but if you want to do it. They said, we're having a really good night. I'm like, it could get better. And so I gave them the microdose. I forget about these people, okay? I go out, I hang with my friends. I'm on my terrace the next morning at 7:30. I saw these people at 9:30 at night, 7:30 in the morning, I see this kayak coming into my house and I'm like, that looks like my kayak. And then the couple gets out of the kayak and they're waving to me and I'm like, hey, you guys. And then they came upstairs. I opened the door to my terrace and the man said to me, he goes, hey, you told me that we couldn't. He said, I told you that we were having a great night and you told me you could make our night better. And guess what? You did. He said, we sat. He said we sat in an alcove for the last 10 hours talking about the most beautiful memories we've ever had in our wedding. We talked about our children. He said, we renewed our vows to each other and. And then the woman looked at me and she put her hands on my face. It was so sweet. And then she put out her hand and said, do you have any more lsd? Am I a healer?

[A]

Yes, you are. You are a healer. You're nothing but a healer. Chelsea Handler, everybody. For tickets to her High and Mighty Tour, go to chelseahandler.com Sophie Turner joins us after the break. Stick around, everybody. What if you could just. Just, just make yourselves wait. Our next guest is an Emmy nominated actress who stars in the new series Steel, which begins streaming January 21st on Prime Video. Please welcome Sophie Turner. That's how you do it. That's a movie star. Come on. But I love you, Sophie Turner. Welcome back. Happy New Year.

[B]

Happy New Year. Yeah, I actually have a New Year's gift for you.

[A]

You don't have to bring me gifts. You are the gift.

[B]

Oh, stop it.

[A]

Oh, bad. Don't bring Me? What gift did you bring me?

[B]

Well, so in the uk, I mean, we don't really have any proper New Year's traditions other than getting, like, completely wankered.

[A]

Yeah, but America has that tradition, too. Yeah, I know.

[B]

I heard it's so fun. That's why we get along so.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah. But in Scotland, they do have a tradition. It's called first footing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it's kind of like being a really Santa. They bring you coal. So I brought you some coal. It's to give you good luck for the new year.

[A]

Warm your home. But why did they give the. They give coal just to teach everyone a lesson or.

[B]

No, no. It's a symbol of warming your home for the new year. So I brought you some Scottish coal.

[A]

Are you kidding me? I'm going to frame this from Sophie Turner. I love you. I really gonna love this.

[B]

I hope this keeps you warm.

[A]

This is a special gift. I wish I had something for you. I don't.

[B]

What the hell?

[A]

Sorry. I'm so sorry. But I will get into. I want to talk about your new series, Steel. I want to talk about big news. You're gonna be Lara Croft in the new Tomb Raider. Come on. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What? Bang. And is it Phoebe Waller Bridge is involved in writing it?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Talk to me about this. Where is this? Where am I gonna see this?

[B]

You're gonna see it on Amazon Prime.

[A]

Yes. Okay.

[B]

In a while, because we haven't started shooting yet.

[A]

But are you training right now?

[B]

I've been training since February last year, so I feel like I could probably beat you up right now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But could you. Could you show us anything? Could you.

[B]

You know, I was thinking about it, but I'm wearing a skirt and I don't want to flash the punani, so. But.

[A]

Punani. This is one of those shows right here. Tonight is one of those. One of those shows.

[B]

Chelsea really.

[A]

Chelsea really opens the eyes. She opens the whole door.

[B]

But I. I was thinking about, you know, something that we could do, and I thought my thumb strength is really, really. It's good. So I thought.

[A]

Don't even dare.

[B]

I think we could have a thumb wrestle.

[A]

Are you ready? Are you serious?

[B]

Do you want this smoke?

[A]

Yeah. Cause, yeah, you're gonna get the fire.

[B]

Wait. I have a fun fact for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In France, they call a thumb a pouss. So we could have a poo swore.

[A]

You're gonna get me in so much trouble. I'm not having a poo swore with you, but I Will have a thumb war with you.

[B]

Okay, great. Let's see.

[A]

You ready for this?

[B]

Yeah, I'm ready. Oh, man.

[A]

You're gonna regret this.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

1, 2, 3, 4. I declare a thumb war. Bow, bow.

[B]

Curtsy, curtsy.

[A]

Never heard this.

[B]

Shake hands. Ready?

[A]

Never heard this. Yes. Go.

[B]

Go.

[A]

Come on. I don't like losing. I don't. You very. Are you very strong? Your thumb strength.

[B]

Oh, thank you so much.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I lift weights with my thumb. Like that.

[A]

Like that. I also want to mention it's been 15 years since game of Thrones. Does that sound right?

[B]

Oh, my God. I mean, it sounds right.

[A]

Feels like yesterday, though. Like, that you were here. Do you feel the giant impact that's made on television and the world?

[B]

I think so. I don't know.

[A]

Do you ever watch it? Do you ever.

[B]

Oh, God. I mean, maybe, like, season one. I watched it with my parents, and then my parents were like, whoa.

[A]

No, no. What's going on? No, no, no, no, no, no. They're having it.

[B]

But, no, no, I can't watch it. It's almost like. I mean, hearing the Game of Thrones theme tune gives me, like, ptsd because.

[A]

Of everything you lived through and went through. And you. I don't know. You see it differently.

[B]

I see it totally different.

[A]

Yeah. Like, you were fantastic in it, by the way.

[B]

Oh, thank you. I don't know.

[A]

Yes. If you watched it and you weren't, you, you'd be like, I love her.

[B]

I don't think so. I, like, learned how to act on that show in front of millions of people. It was really embarrassing.

[A]

But then you even started even younger. Get ready for the cute alarm to go off. Look at this. Oh, my goodness. Are you joking me? You are so cute.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

Oh, stop. And I heard your grandfather was a background actor.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is that true?

[B]

My granddad, Robert Jesse Cotton. Shout out. He was, yeah. He was a supporting artist in a few TV shows.

[A]

Does that inspire you to go into acting?

[B]

He was my hero. My total hero. And when he passed away, I got his wedding ring. And I remember doing. I think it was like. It was only a couple of weeks before my screen test, for example. And I got his wedding ring, and I wore it for the screen test, and I got the role, and I give it up to Robin. Jesse Cotton.

[A]

We love you, Grandpa.

[B]

We love you.

[A]

That's fantastic. Yeah. He's watching down. He's taking care of you. He is, yeah. Let's talk about steel. This is another big hit you're gonna have. It's a Big heist thriller. There's so many twists in this, by the way.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Starts first episode. Great, great twist. And then there's like three or four good whammies.

[B]

I know, I know. It actually really reminded me of Game of Thrones when I was reading the scripts because I was like, episode one, you know, season one. Spoiler if you haven't seen Game of Thrones, but it was 15 years ago.

[A]

Catch up, everybody, catch up.

[B]

Ned Stark dies, season one and episode one of this. There's a crazy twist at the beginning as well.

[A]

Yeah, I loved it.

[B]

I think it just hooks ya.

[A]

Do you like those shows? Do you watch those type of thriller, scary kind of shows where you're like, you don't know what's gonna happen?

[B]

No, I just watched like Real Housewives.

[A]

That's kind of the same thing. That's kind of the same thing.

[B]

A lot of twists and turns.

[A]

Yeah. Salt Lake City, man. That's the jam.

[B]

Salt Lake City.

[A]

Come on, shake hands. Shake hands. How do we set up that? How do we set up steel?

[B]

How do we set up steel? Steel is a high octane heist thriller. It's about two co workers, Zara, who I play, and Luke, who my friend Archie Madekwe plays. And we're at a dead end job in a pension fund management company. God, it's really hooking you now, isn't it?

[A]

No, but then, but then, but then here come this.

[B]

Something happens. Big heist happens.

[A]

Big heist happens. And scary.

[B]

I mean, we really can't say anything.

[A]

That's perfect setup.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Because get ready, you'll watch that and then something will happen at the end. You'll be like, and it's worth it. It's so worth it. Sophie Turner. All six episodes of Steel begin streaming January 21st on Prime Video. We'll be right back. Stick around, everybod. My thanks to Chelsea Handler, Sophie Turner, Hudson Williams and the Roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. That was great. Good night, everybody. Thank you. Get involved, get it. Get involved. Get into it. Do it. Y. I said. Gotta do it. Angus at New York City just letting her the best. That's right. Starter show. Hard working Mr. Donna boy. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work. Holding now. Going up. Y. I said. Everybody in. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work. Yeah, baby. Get involved. Gotta get involved. Gotta get involved, y'. All. Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.