White House Begs for $200 Billion for Iran War | Johnny Knoxville, Dwyane Wade | Thursday, March 19

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Episode: White House Begs for $200 Billion for Iran War | Johnny Knoxville, Dwyane Wade
Date: March 20, 2026
Host: Jimmy Fallon
Guests: Johnny Knoxville, Dwyane Wade
House Band: The Roots

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Overview

This episode blends high-energy humor with political satire, celebrity interviews, and fun games. Jimmy covers major political news—especially the White House's request for $200 billion for the Iran war—delivers his trademark monologue, and then welcomes guests Johnny Knoxville (of Jackass and Fear Factor: House of Fear) and NBA legend Dwyane Wade. Expect playful banter, ridiculous games, nostalgic stories, and a touch of heartfelt appreciation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Monologue & Political Satire

Timestamp: 01:10 – 04:11

• Main Story:
  Jimmy jokes about the White House asking Congress for $200 billion in additional funding for the war in Iran:

  “President Trump heard and was like, Iran must be getting one hell of a ballroom. That's ballroom money.” (Jimmy Fallon, 01:18)

• Gas Prices & VP J.D. Vance:
  Jimmy pokes fun at rising gas prices and Vance’s awkward attempts to explain them using memes.

  “He explained the whole situation using a bunch of his own popular Internet memes...But in the end, gas prices will lower and everyone will be popping champagne and saying, thank you Mr. Pwezsident.” (Jimmy Fallon, 01:33)

• NATO Roll Call:
  Fallon humorously reenacts Trump's failed attempt to recruit NATO allies, with each country’s witty refusal.

  “Spain? Hard pass. Trump was like, but I need gas. Sweden said, bad idea. Trump said, I'll invade IKEA.” (Jimmy Fallon, 02:04)

2. Educational Skit: The Jones Act Explained

Timestamp: 04:11 – 05:40

• Fallon presents an intentionally convoluted and silly mnemonic to explain the Jones Act (a maritime shipping law), culminating in musical nonsense and slapstick.

  “The acronym is ships, of course. S, H, I, P, S. Sending heavy industrial products sailing.” (Show Crew, 04:15)

• End result: total absurdity, making fun of legislative complexity.

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3. March Madness & Parody Commercials

Timestamp: 06:05 – 07:36

• Tournament News:
  March Madness has started—Jimmy jests about high seed upsets and pokes fun at Trump’s approval rating.

• Fake College Commercials:

  • Parody of real university promos for Virginia and a nonsensical one for "Wright State."

  “Right State located in beautiful Connecticut or Maryland. Maybe Iowa. A place that's right. A place that's state with world class. Right? And state of the art state...” (Commercial Narrator, 07:10)

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4. Entertainment News & Banter with Guests

Timestamp: 07:36 – 09:39

• American Gladiators Reboot:
  Knoxville and Fallon riff about the over-the-top nature of the old sports show.

  Johnny Knoxville: “My gladiator name was Hernia. My catchphrase was time to make the donuts.” (08:05)

• Chocolate Easter Bunny Joke:
  Jimmy quips about giant Costco confections and the perils of sugar.

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5. March Madness Gags: Fallon Googly Eyes

Timestamp: 09:58 – 12:39

• Fallon introduces "Jimmy Fallon Googily Eyes"—props for fans to hold up at basketball games to distract free-throw shooters, planning to send them to the arena and inviting fans to participate.

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6. Thank You Notes

Timestamp: 12:39 – 15:35

• Classic segment where Jimmy writes comedic thank-you notes, aided by running jokes with Knoxville (aka "Hernia") and Dwyane Wade.
  • Notable Jokes:

    “Thank you, Trump's strategy with the Iran war for being just like families on Father's Day. No plans.” (Jimmy Fallon, 13:44) “Thank you, handwritten letters for being the acoustic version of emails.” (Jimmy Fallon, 14:38)

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7. Pop Quiz Game: Knoxville vs. Wade

Timestamp: 16:05 – 20:56

• Game Mechanics:
  Each correct answer raises the opponent’s chair closer to a giant balloon—wrong answers raise yourself. The loser gets soaked with “mystery substance” (water).

• Funniest Moments:

  Knoxville (joking wrongly about a YouTube video): “Two Girls, One Cub.” (18:01)
  Knoxville: “I’m about to get wet. I haven’t heard that in a while.” (after getting another answer wrong and facing imminent balloon-popping) (19:26)

• Results:
  Wade dominates trivia; Knoxville ends up drenched. The game is filled with banter and competitive (but friendly) trash talk.

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8. Interview: Johnny Knoxville

Timestamp: 21:43 – 28:38

• Jackass 5:
  Filming stories, including a particularly gruesome injury involving Dave England in a typical Jackass stunt.

  “Dave England ripped the tendon off the bone of his middle finger...by sticking it up Zach's butt. Can you say that on your show?” (Johnny Knoxville, 22:36)

• Things They ‘Couldn’t Do’ on Jackass:
  Stories about bits they planned but were "nixed by the lawyers."

• Knoxville’s Prankster Dad:
  Heartwarming and wild stories about his father's tire shop pranks, like mailing fake IRS and VD clinic letters to employees.

  “Sometimes the wife would get the envelope...and people crying.” (Johnny Knoxville, 25:18)

• Musical Theater Past:
  Briefly shares that he played Danny Zuko in high school.

• Hosting vs. Competing on Fear Factor:
  Prefers participating but enjoys the “win” of just hosting.

• Advice to Contestants:

  "Don't ruminate in it...find a way to metabolize your fear and just do it." (Johnny Knoxville, 27:39)

• Return of Classic Crew for Jackass 5:
  Acknowledges lasting friendships and laughs.

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9. Interview: Dwyane Wade

Timestamp: 29:06 – 37:04

• 2006 Miami Heat Reunion:
  Wade reflects on youth, team dynamics, and celebrating 20 years since his first title.

  “It was really cool to go back and check on my 24 year old self and see what I was doing at 24.” (Dwyane Wade, 30:13)

• Shaq’s Bentley Bet:
  The long-promised championship reward ("I'll buy both you guys Bentleys") is finally fulfilled—sort of.

  “D and I actually went out and bought Bentleys ourselves because big fella never gave us our two Bentleys...he gave us our Bentleys. Finally, 20 years later, there he is.” (Dwyane Wade, 31:41)

• Legendary NBA Moments:
  Discusses the iconic "no-look" pass photo with LeBron James and plans to have LeBron sign it after retirement.

• Way of Wade Footwear:
  Wade’s shoes, originally basketball sneakers, are now unexpectedly popular with volleyball players. Humorous encounter with a teen fan who appreciated the color, unaware she was meeting the shoe’s namesake.

  “She looked at me like, stranger danger...She didn't know they was mine.” (Dwyane Wade, 36:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Political Satire:

  “Spain? Hard pass. Trump was like, but I need gas. Sweden said, bad idea. Trump said, I’ll invade IKEA.” (Jimmy Fallon, 02:04)

• American Gladiators Throwback:

  “My gladiator name was Hernia. My catchphrase was time to make the donuts.” (Johnny Knoxville, 08:05)

• Jackass 5 Injury Story:

  “He was trying to get a retrieve a coin. It was way up in there. And I’m not even joking. He has to have surgery.” (Johnny Knoxville, 22:36)

• Advice on Facing Fear:

  “Don’t ruminate in it and find a way to metabolize your fear and just do it.” (Johnny Knoxville, 27:39)

• Wade’s Reaction to Being Recognized:

  “Thank you so much for wearing my shoes. She looked at me like, stranger danger.” (Dwyane Wade, 36:47)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• White House Iran War Funding/Monologue: 01:10 – 04:11
• Jones Act Skit: 04:11 – 05:40
• March Madness & College Commercial Parodies: 06:05 – 07:36
• Thank You Notes: 12:39 – 15:35
• Pop Quiz Game (Knoxville vs. Wade): 16:05 – 20:56
• Johnny Knoxville Interview: 21:43 – 28:38
• Dwyane Wade Interview: 29:06 – 37:04

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Tone & Atmosphere

Typical Fallon: playful, quick-witted, sharp with political humor but never mean-spirited, mixing meme culture with current events. The episode leans heavily on nostalgia (March Madness, American Gladiators, NBA legends) and physical comedy (games, pranks, slapstick). Celebrity guests join not just as interviewees, but as participants in the ridiculousness.

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Summary

This jam-packed Tonight Show is classic Jimmy Fallon: topical political satire, sports and pop culture playfulness, viral-ready sketches, and surprisingly heartfelt interviews with stars who have become family to the show. Johnny Knoxville’s wild stories and Dwyane Wade’s sports wisdom deliver laughs and insight. Key political moments are presented with punchy sarcasm, ensuring the episode is both current and timeless in its comedic energy.

Transcript

[Jimmy Fallon]

From Studio 6P in Rockefeller center in the heart of New York City, it's the Tonight show. Starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight joins Jimmy and his guest, Johnny Knoxville, Dwayne Wade. And featuring the legendary roots crew 2216. And now, here he is, Jimmy Bellamy. And. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hey, thank you very much. Hey, how you doing? All right. Come on. That's what I'm talking about. Yes. Thank you very much. Welcome, everybody.

Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show.

You here, you made it. Thank you for watching at home.

Fun show tonight. Let's get to some news first. Well, guys, this is big. Today, the White House asked Congress to give them $200 billion in additional funding for the war in Iran. Yeah, $200 billion. President Trump heard and was like, iran must be getting one hell of a ballroom. That's ballroom money. Of course, the war continues to drive up oil prices, but today, Trump downplayed it, saying that he actually expected them to be worse. Although it wasn't a great sign that he said that from the back of an uber pool. Meanwhile, Vice President J.D. vance just admitted that gas prices will keep going up. And this was odd. He actually explained the whole situation using a bunch of his own popular Internet memes. Take a look. He said, I admit that gas prices have inflated from this to this. Then added, and I understand, we all want to go back to the olden days, you know, when prices weren't making us so sad and angry. But in the end, gas prices will lower and everyone will be popping champagne and saying, thank you, Mr. Pwezsident. There you go. Very interesting statement. That's our vice president. Say that. Now, the big story is still the ongoing war in Iran. Trump asked all the NATO countries to send ships to help him unblock the Strait of Hormuz, but he's not getting a lot of positive responses. Let's take a minute to do a roll call and see how each country replied to Trump. Uk No. Finland? No. Norway? No way. Trump was like, I'm okay. Germany? No. Iceland? No. Spain? Hard pass. Trump was like, but I need gas. Sweden said, bad idea. Trump said, I'll invade ikea. Italy said, we're not starting. Can I still have Olive Garden? France said, sorry, it's not happening. What'd you just say? I was napping. Latvia said, won't go far. You're lucky. I don't know.

Another?

No. Estonia. Wow, I'm getting lonely, bruh. Hungary and Luxembourg. Those two just flipped me the bird. Denmark, Turkey, Belgium. 2. Screw you. And You. And also you, Poland, Greece and all the rest. I can't believe you all swipe left. I don't know if you're watching at home. I don't know where you. How to swipe left. Yeah, too much math for me. Get this. To combat high oil prices, Trump has temporarily waived the Jones act, which affects US Shipping. Now, if you don't understand the Jones act, don't worry, because very few people have heard of the Jones Act. So we actually put together this educational video.

Hey.

[Show Crew Member / Announcer]

Today we're gonna learn about the Jones act by using an acronym and a mnemonic device. The acronym is ships, of course. S, H, I, P, S. Sending heavy industrial products sailing. That's ships. You still with me?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Good.

[Show Crew Member / Announcer]

Cause the next one's even easier. It's a mnemonic to learn the details of the Jones Act. The Jones act is domestic maritime transport compliance, whereby cargo moved between designated US ports must, under applicable conditions, be carried on vessels constructed in the US Owned by US Interests, documented under US and crewed primarily by US Citizens or permanent residents, unless a waiver is issued for national defense, operational necessity, or other limited executive determinations, with costs, routing, availability and regional dependency all affecting how the requirement functions. So sing it with me.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Here we go.

[Show Crew Member / Announcer]

Dim chikwik ba duspa PA imwak bakufka tusa pussi doo a ta oo Female Acapoboscopa. Ooh, a finger. No, no. Lead whacker.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Harder.

[Show Crew Member / Announcer]

Hat whacker.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Arthur had to rock.

My God. Who is that guy? I don't know. He's brilliant. Yeah. He's not, you know. Oh, no, no.

Oh, no.

Thank you. Thank you. J. Michael, good to see you.

No, no, no,

don't get him from Bobby. Bye, Jamaica, everybody. Good to see you, buddy. Thank you. Bye. He's lost his mind now.

[Show Crew Member / Announcer]

I know the joke.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We've lost our minds here. Yeah. Switching gears, everybody is excited about this. Today, March Madness officially began. That's right. And there was already a big upset with High Point University beating Wisconsin. Ooh. Yeah. In the tournament, the teams go from 64 to 32 to 16 to 8 to 4, or as it's also known, Trump's approval rating. March Madness has tipped off. And I noticed that during the games, each team usually gets to air a commercial. So for their school, you probably got to see them before. For example, here's an ad for number three seed, Virginia.

[Commercial Narrator / Voiceover]

The University of Virginia, located in beautiful Charlottesville, A place for scholarship, A place of excellence with world class professors and state of the art Research facilities. Come to UVA and learn what it means to be a Cavalier. We are Virginia.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Nice. Oh, yeah, that's cool. So I mean like that. Now here's one for number 14 seed. Right state. Watch this.

[Commercial Narrator / Voiceover]

Right State located in beautiful Connecticut or Maryland. Maybe Iowa. A place that's right. A place that's state with world class. Right? And state of the art state. Come to Wright State and learn what it means to be a student at Wright State. We are Wright State. Wait, are we spelling that right?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Er, State.

Right.

[Commercial Narrator / Voiceover]

Correct. Sorry.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We don't know where they're. I don't know if they're in the right state. Well, some entertainment news. Amazon just announced that their new reboot of the classic show American Gladiators premieres next month. That's gonna be fun. I used to love American Gladiators. Like Nitro Turbo. Those guys were awesome. Tariq, were you a big fan American Gladiator?

No.

How about you, Quest Finn? Nah, man, it's too intense.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What about you, James?

[Johnny Knoxville]

I know I could, Jimmy. Because I was an American Gladiator. My gladiator name was Hernia. My catchphrase was time to make the donuts. This is what I look like. But starring on a TV show wasn't enough to satisfy my lust for combat. So I became an actual gladiator. I went to the Colosseum, engaged in Roman in battle and yelled, are you not entertained? And then it turns out they haven't had a Gladiator for 1,622 years. And I had actually just beaten up a random Italian man.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What?

[Johnny Knoxville]

In fact, I brought that man here tonight so I could apologize to him in Italian.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Me B. Psc.

Giovanni.

[Johnny Knoxville]

No, my Luto Fati Del Mel.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That was really beautiful.

That's really touching.

That was beautiful.

Thank you. Hernia, everybody. Hernia. Wow.

Beautiful. Touching. And finally, I saw that Costco is selling a 2 foot tall, 10 pound chocolate Easter bunny. Oh, eating is tough. You never know whether to start with the ears or the insulin.

We have a great show. Give it up for the rooster, everybody. To the best of my knowledge, I guess that I'm fresh when I'm in a press. I do a request though. What's going on? Let's go. This the joint. Coming at you. Oh, yeah. Whoa.

Hey, everyone. March Madness is here. And one of my favorite things is when fans try to distract the other teams when they're shooting foul shots. It's hilarious. Yeah. Look at this one. He's Moses. He splits this. Is that genius or what? Yeah. Well, they get really. It's genius. They get really creative and fun with it. Well, we wanted to get in on that. Okay, so we made this. Where is it? Okay, here we go. All right, so this is the. This is the Jimmy Fallon. This is the Jimmy Fallon googly eyes. Okay, so now if you want the other team to miss a free throw, just hold this up and shake it around. Okay. And then get the googly eyes, do the work. And we actually also put a strap on a helmet here. Yeah. In case you want to just wear it and just dance to act.

[Show Crew Member / Announcer]

So we're.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's very easy to wear. No headache. We're sending these out to the Xfinity Mobile arena in Philadelphia tomorrow. Okay. So if you're at the game, these are legit. Going to the arena tomorrow. If you're at the game and you see a giant head with googly eyes, pick it up, shake it up, go crazy. We want to see you. We want to see it on. On the camera. We wanted you to distract people, and if it's funny, we're going to put it on the show. But the game's tomorrow. Yeah, at the games tomorrow we have Virginia versus Wright State. Oh, there you go. They're the Wright State. Yeah, that's tomorrow at 1:50pm we have Tennessee versus Miami. That's at 4:25pm UCLA versus UCF at 7:25pm And UConn versus Furman at 10:00pm Whoa. Any of those games, look for this. And when you see it, shake it

and go crazy, baby.

It also could work like, you could work. Make it like a. Almost like a cornhole, right? Oh, wow. If you. Yeah. Lay it there and you just throw stuff at it. Yeah, yeah. You just. Maybe you cut out the mouth. In the mouth. You cut out the hole. Just careful. Nevermind. Don't put a hole.

[Commercial Narrator / Voiceover]

Don't do it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Don't put a hole in the mouth. Never mind. Just. No, no, stop, stop, stop. Just cornhole. Use it like you're supposed to use it.

Make it a charcuterie thing.

Never mind that idea. Guys, it is the end of the week. Someone's gonna make a cornhole game.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah, they are.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And they're not gonna be seeing it. See, I'm gonna see it on the Internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna see it on Reddit. Yeah, yeah. It's the end of the week. That's usually when I catch up with some personal stuff. I check my inbox, return some emails, and of course, I send out thank you notes. And I was just running thank You. I was just. They like. Because they're very courteous. Oh, they're very nice. Well, the thing is, I was running a little behind today, so I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, I like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that okay? Hernia. Can I get some thank you note writing music, please? Oh, yeah, there he is. Hernia. That's hernia from American Glass. The real one. Yeah, the hernia. Yeah, the hernia. He'll sign autographs after the show. Yeah. With his bulge. Mm. Thank you. Phone contact list for containing 10 people I actually talked to and 100 people I forgot even existed. It's like, oh, who is Larry Finsen?

Yeah.

Thank you. Trump's strategy with the Iran war for being just like families on Father's Day. No plans. Oh, you don't have any. What are we doing? We're doing it. We're just gonna wing it. Thank you, Silk, for being the fanciest fabric to come out of a wormhole.

Wow.

Wow, that's what you're calling it?

[Johnny Knoxville]

A wormhole.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I didn't. Yes, I did. Yeah. Yeah. You just thought of that. That's correct. You're thinking, oh, yeah, These aren't written. I'm thinking of these. Yeah, you're thinking of them right now. Yeah. Thank you, Kraft American Cheese Singles, for being the post it notes of the dairy world. They should make, like, edible ink to write notes in your grilled cheese. Yeah. Hey, do something different, Mia. Thank you, handwritten letters for being the acoustic version of emails. Come on.

No, no, don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Wow. You're being very nice. You're being very nice. That's pity applause. One guy's sitting in the front, like, absolutely not.

I refuse.

You're not getting this.

[Dwyane Wade]

Smile.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No way, man. Thank you, Weeds, for giving me something to pull or whack in my front yard without getting arrested.

Wow. Whoa. Spicy.

Wow. That's what you're calling it, Weeds. Okay. Pull or yank. Yeah. All right. I don't know if you're gonna top that one. I think you're going to. Here we go. Thank you, fun Socks, for letting my feet go through a midlife crisis.

There you have it, everybody.

Those are our thank you notes.

We'll be right back with more Tonight Show. Come on back, everybody. Welcome back to the Tonight. Welcome to the show. We're about to play a game called Pop Quiz. Pop Quiz. Pop Quiz. Pop Quiz.

Our first contestant is veteran stuntman and actor.

My pal Johnny Knoxville is here. That's Correct. That is correct. That is correct.

His opponent is an NBA hall of Famer in Miami Heat legend Dwyane Wade. Gentlemen, the pop Quiz rules are simple. I will ask each of you questions, and if you answer correctly, your opponent is raised higher into the air. Read the razor sharp tip of their hat closer to that giant balloon full of the Tonight show mystery substance.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Horse semen.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You can't. That's not one of the questions.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Oh, sorry.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. If you. If you answer it wrong, you are raised higher. The first person to reach the top and pop their balloon loses. Here we go. Johnny, the first question will be to you. What are the names of the cartoon cat and mouse duo who are always chasing each other?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Tom and Jerry.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my. Come on. That's easy.

[Dwyane Wade]

Hey, take me out first.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You have no. You have no chance, Dwayne. The famous quote from the movie Jerry Maguire is, you had me at hello.

Wow. Yes, that is correct.

These are easy. Here we go.

[Dwyane Wade]

Light work.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This game's gonna be over fast. Light work. All right, that was.

[Dwyane Wade]

I'm taller, so I get there a little quicker.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I see you slunking, smushing your shoulders down a little bit. All right, Jimmy, ask me the next question. All right, here we go. Johnny Knoxville. The first YouTube video ever uploaded was titled, what?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Two Girls, One Cub.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Hey, stop it.

Johnny Knoxville.

Absolutely.

[Johnny Knoxville]

No.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Oh, come on.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, it was me. Maybe the first one you watched, but no, these. Me. Me at the zoo, of course, is the answer. That is incorrect. Johnny.

[Dwyane Wade]

Johnny. I remember what you remember.

[Johnny Knoxville]

I had to wear these hats in school.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Congratulations, Dwayne. Which pop star sang the 2017 smash hit Shape of youf?

[Dwyane Wade]

Oh, well, thanks for the layup. Cause I. I said it on this show. It's one of my favorite songs. My friend, Ed Sheeran.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. I forgot you love Ed Sheeran.

I forgot you love Ed Sheeran.

[Dwyane Wade]

Thank y' all for that layup.

[Johnny Knoxville]

You're giving him questions he's friends with.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Well, I forgot that.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Jesus.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I forgot he's friends with Ed Sheeran. I thought.

I didn't know. Here we go. Sorry, Johnny.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Sorry,

[Jimmy Fallon]

Johnny. I know that you don't know much about pop culture. This is why it's perfect. This is why I love this dude. All right, ready. What is the number one streamed song of all time on Spotify?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Oh, well, I was just thinking about this question the other day. Billie Jean by Michael Jackson.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That is.

No, it's blinding lights by the weekend. Johnny, you're going up. One more.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Really? I'm about to get wet. I haven't heard that in a while.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, okay, don't laugh. Don't encourage him. Don't encourage him. Dwayne, in tennis, what is the only Grand Slam tournament played on clay courts?

[Dwyane Wade]

This is why I think I know this. This Grand Slam is at the end of May, and my daughter's turning 19, and I'm actually sending her there for her birthday. And so it's the French Open in Paris.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Oh, my God.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That is correct.

[Johnny Knoxville]

What a know it all.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Johnny, wait. We're getting dangerously close.

[Dwyane Wade]

Water spill over here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I don't know if it's water, by the way.

Here we go. One, two, three. Jacks up.

Johnny.

Be careful, Johnny. All right, There you go. All right. Perfect.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Oh, my God.

[Jimmy Fallon]

There you go.

That's how you do it right there, ladies and gentlemen. That's why. That's why he gets paid the big. That's why he gets paid the big mark. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness.

[Show Crew Member / Announcer]

Oh.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my goodness.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Getting the old Chuck Berry.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, That's a lot of water in there.

[Show Crew Member / Announcer]

I'm sorry.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I don't know who's the prop guy on this, but it won't end. I'm so sorry, kid. Yeah, I can tell. Oh, my God. There's so much water. We're not trying to waterboard him, all right, let's just get him to safety. All right. Thanks to the one and only Johnny Knoxville. Twin Way. We'll be right back with more tonight. Our first guest is a talented actor

and very famous funny man. He's the host of Fear Factor, House of Fear, which airs its season finale on Wednesday, March 25 on Fox and is available on Hulu the next day. Please welcome Johnny Knoxville. Oh, my gosh, Johnny, it's great to see you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for playing Pop Quiz. I'm sorry you got split.

[Johnny Knoxville]

I destroyed Dwayne.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

You really.

You won?

Of course. Yes. You really did. I want to get to Fear Factor and get to that. Congratulations, the big hit show. But first, I want to talk about Jackass 5. Oh, boy. This is the real deal. It's happening.

A new Jackass movie.

How's it going? Are you shooting yet? How's it going?

[Johnny Knoxville]

We have shot, and it went great. I just got word today about an injury. I'm sorry to report Dave England ripped the bone off of his middle finger, and I'm sorry, ripped the tendon off the bone of his middle finger, and it coiled at the base by sticking it up Zach's butt. Can you say that on your show. He was trying to get a Retrieve a coin.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, my God.

[Johnny Knoxville]

And it was way up in there. And I'm not even joking. He has to have surgery. Wow.

[Jimmy Fallon]

When you do that, do you even think that that could be an outcome?

[Johnny Knoxville]

No. Because there's so many soft corners, you

[Jimmy Fallon]

know, it's like, I don't know how he did it. Oh, my heavens. But we will see this Jackass 5.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Well, I showed you a picture of it backstage.

[Jimmy Fallon]

I can unsee that. But I didn't know what I was looking. That's insane. When that comes out, please come back and talk to us about everything. Man, oh, man, you make me laugh. We were talking backstage about some of the craziest stunts that you've done and things that you've never been able to do that you thought could be fun and wouldn't let you do or someone wouldn't let you do. Is there a few examples of that?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Well, speaking of Dave England, he's only got one testicle, and for over 15 years. I'm sorry if I'm working a little blue.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

This is just a testicle. This is just what we want. Yeah, Ye. You could have said something else, but

[Johnny Knoxville]

we want to get him another that lights up. And every time we get to the finish line, the lawyers always blow it. Everybody wants him dimnified.

[Jimmy Fallon]

It's so gosh damn funny. We were also talking about your dad, by the way, and how funny your dad was. Yeah, you probably got a lot of this from him. His sense of humor and his doing bits and. And kind of pranking his friends. You were telling me.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah, I grew up and he owned a tire company. He was always pranking his employees. He'd make them Ex Lax milkshakes. He would send them letters from the Internal Revenue Service saying they're going to be audited, so they got to get their books together. He would send them letters from the VD clinic that was rubber stamped on the envelope saying they've contracted a venereal disease. They have to come in and list their last ten partners. Sign Dr. Harlan C. Titmore. And it all looked funny. But sometimes the wife would get the lettuce the envelope. And when you're pranking someone, sometimes if they become emotional, they believe everything. So that's what would happen. So the guy would come home and his wife would be there with her mother and people crying.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. Oh, gosh. I always learn something new about you every single time you're here. One thing I actually saw on the Internet that I Wanted to ask you about is that I didn't know you were trained in musical theater.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Oh, yes. I have a wonderful singing voice. Wow.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And none of us knew this. This is amazing.

[Johnny Knoxville]

I played the part of Danny Zuko in my high school play and.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Was that the end of your musical career?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Well, it should have been, but they used to have these recordings booths out at. In the mall, and me and my buddy Brian Reeves went to East Town Mall and recorded a song. And I don't know why, but we recorded Everything she Wants by Wham. We were like 15.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Oh, wait, I know what you like. The music video.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Like green screen things.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Well, no, it was no videos back then. They just, you know, just the song and just audio. But we recorded it in. It was like that scene for Boogie Nights when they're high fiving and.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And you go, this is great.

[Johnny Knoxville]

This is awesome. I thought we crushed it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, I'm happy you did that, but I'm happy you ended up who you are. Cause I will say, I don't know one person that knows you that doesn't love you to death. Oh, thank you, people. Everybody who knows you and you've ever interacted with loves you so much. I will say, even backstage, our whole crew, everyone here loves you. Thanks for always being great to us. Thank you. You're one of my favorites. Let's talk about Fear Factor. House of Fear. There's one episode left. You've been fantastic hosting this thing. I was gonna ask you, do you like hosting this and not being in on, like, doing these things, The Fear Factor challenges.

[Johnny Knoxville]

I prefer doing things, but I also try to just take the win that all I have to do is talk, you know?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Take the W. Take the win.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Take the W. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to have spiders crawling around your head and stuff like that. You don't get any fomo. Like, ah, I could do it for. Show them how it was done.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Well, we just got finished filming Jackass, so I feel like I got my fill.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah. You've done probably every stunt known to man. Do. Do you ever give any words of wisdom to your contestants?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Well, I end up helping them more than scaring them. And it's just like, don't ruminate in it and find a way to metabolize your fear and just do it. And it's easier said than done, but you just got to commit.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And once you do it, you go, yeah, I did that. Do you ever do you look back at all the stuff you did in Jackass and go, oh my gosh. It kind of. Cause you started out just making videos.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah. And it just one thing that made you laugh, then it's like no longer makes you laugh and it just keeps getting worse and worse. Jamie.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, but you got the same crew back for the new Jackass.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Man. What a crew.

[Jimmy Fallon]

The best crew. What a crew. And do you still make each other laugh?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah, we had a ball. I mean, it got intense and you know, it got really intense. But everyone came out pretty good.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Okay. Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. We don't want to say any spoilers of what's going to happen in the finale of Fear Factor, but it's fantastic.

Johnny Knoxville, everybody. Check out the season finale of Fear Factor, House of Fear, Wednesday, March 25th on Fox. We'll be right back with more tonight. Just stick around, everybody. Our next guest is a three time

NBA champion, a 13 time NBA all star and a Hall of Famer. He's also an analyst on NBA on Prime and the creator of Way of Wade footwear, which is [e-mail] and wayofwade.com Everyone please welcome Dwayne Wade,

The one and only. Welcome back to the show.

We always love it when you're here.

[Dwyane Wade]

I enjoy being here.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You're always styling. Come on. Looking good. I want to talk to you about. You won obviously the championship with Miami Heat. The first one was 2006.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah. What do you. You talk about my age?

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, I'm going to talk. No, not at all. You can still do it right now, but trust me. But you just had a reunion with the 2006 team.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yes, yes, we did. Come on.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But what was that like? Look at everybody.

[Dwyane Wade]

It was Jimmy. When we won this championship in 06, obviously it was 20 years ago. I was 24 years old.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow.

[Dwyane Wade]

And at this moment, my life like took off. I started getting invited to tonight shows. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Dwyane Wade]

I started getting invited to shows and so I kind of. I haven't been around my teammates in 20 years. Like we all haven't been in one room together since we won the championship and had a few celebrations. And so it was really cool to go back and check out and check on my 24 year old self and see what I was doing at 24.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

Do you remember like what were you like at 24?

[Dwyane Wade]

Well, I guess I was really cool. I didn't know, you know, but I was like, I was really quiet. I was really shy. I had a lot of you Know, played with Shaq, played with gp. There's Gary Payton. Like, Antoine Walker, like white chocolate. Like, I had all these. We had all these personalities on our team.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Dwyane Wade]

And myself and UD being the young guys, we were quiet. We were just doing whatever they told us to do.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Dwyane Wade]

But it was cool to go back and just be around the guys and, like, just understand, you know, how important that time was. That has set all of us up for the rest of our lives. So it was really. It was really cool.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You. I see. Yeah. Mentioned Shaq. But before I show this photo, Shaq made you a promise.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And can we just say what that was?

[Dwyane Wade]

Well, he. He promised UD and I as young guys. He was like, hey, we win this championship, I'mma buy both you guys Bentleys.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Come on.

[Dwyane Wade]

That's all the incentive we needed.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's Shaquille o'. Neal.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And so just now, this. Yeah. This past week, you got your Bentleys.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah, I got it.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We finally got them, and they are unbelievable.

[Dwyane Wade]

So.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Wow. That's.

[Dwyane Wade]

We've been talking about this for 20 years. Shaq did not deliver on his promise. We never got our Bentleys.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's so funny.

[Dwyane Wade]

D and I actually went out and bought Bentleys ourselves because big fella never gave us our two Bentleys. And so he gave us our Bentleys. Finally, 20 years later, there he is.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He's a man of his word.

He's a man of his word.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Unfortunately, Shaq. We've. I've bet Shaq a couple times on our show, and we had this one bet. I don't even know what we bet on, but the loser had to walk down the street in tiny underwear.

[Dwyane Wade]

Sounds like Shaq.

[Jimmy Fallon]

With the other guy's name on his butt. You lost, and I won.

[Dwyane Wade]

Oh, you won.

[Jimmy Fallon]

And I was like, he'll never do it. He did it again.

[Dwyane Wade]

He walked down with Jimmy on his butt.

[Jimmy Fallon]

He walked down a street in Indianapolis with pink underwear, said Jimmy on his butt. And, dude, it was the funniest thing ever. Everyone went nuts. Cause I was like, I can't believe he's doing this. He totally did it. Walked into the theater. Do you guys remember this? He walked into the theater. He walked into the theater, and it's Shaq. So I mean, it's Shaq. So, I mean, you know, he was coming before he was coming. You know what I'm saying? So he came in. Everyone was going nuts. And he put his hand down his shorts and pulled out a giant tube sock and put it on. It's funny. He was funny, but he's a man of his word.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah. Yeah. 20 years later. Yeah, they get the Bentleys. I thought we were getting.

[Jimmy Fallon]

No, but you got Bentley.

[Dwyane Wade]

Definitely got remote control Bentleys last week.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Bam, by the way. Come on.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah. Shout out to Bam, man.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You played with on the Heat.

[Dwyane Wade]

Shout out to bam.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Scored 83 points. 83 points in a single game.

[Dwyane Wade]

I tried to do that on a video game the other day. Fell short. I had 79.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You can't even do it in a video game.

[Dwyane Wade]

I can't do it in a video game. How is it I cannot go to Lifetime Fitness right now and do it? That's an incredible feat. The cardiovascular that it takes, the endurance that it takes to score 83 points is un. Is unbelievable.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Go, man. That was fantastic.

[Dwyane Wade]

Did you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You actually. You hold the scoring record. Miami Heat for 20,000 points. No big deal.

[Dwyane Wade]

Like, 23.

[Jimmy Fallon]

23, nobody. Sorry. Who's counting?

Who's counting? Sorry.

No big deal.

Who's counting?

Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, I mean, please. You know, I mean, you're one of the best. Do you think Bam's gonna get close to you?

[Dwyane Wade]

Well, he's at 10,000. He's second all time. He just passed Alonzo. He's second all time around 10,000, plus 83 in some. Yeah, he has to be in the Heat uniform probably about another six to eight years. We'll see.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, come on. Yeah, we'll see. I know you're in NBA on prime, and you're great at that. And I love watching you talk to the players because not only do you know what you're talking about, but also you play with these people. And I see you talk to LeBron, and I know you play with LeBron. And I gotta say, one of the greatest photos in the history of NBA is this. No, look to LeBron. That is. It's iconic. Do you. I heard that you have this photo at your house.

[Dwyane Wade]

I do. I have it. And it has not got signed yet. Gotten signed yet by LeBron. I'm actually waiting till he retire, maybe 20, 38. And I already know what my retirement. What the retirement gift I want him to get me when he retires. And it's just a signature of this photo.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's it. That's all LeBron.

[Dwyane Wade]

So I'm waiting. I'm waiting till you retire.

[Jimmy Fallon]

But do you remember, like, what did you think was gonna happen?

[Dwyane Wade]

You can hear LeBron Trucking behind you. You can hear the 16s hitting the court.

[Jimmy Fallon]

You can hear the 16s.

[Dwyane Wade]

You hear the 16s. Like, plop, plop, plop, plop. So you know he's coming. And so I just. It actually was a bounce pass. Okay. It's not a lob. A lot of people think it's an alley. It was actually a bounce pass.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah.

[Dwyane Wade]

So I actually just threw it back and I just put my hands up because I knew what was coming. I was like, what?

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah. And just waited for the crowd to go.

Yeah. Poster.

This is going to be posterized.

[Dwyane Wade]

Shout out to the photographer that caught that photo. That is one of the most iconic sports photos of all time. For sure.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Yeah, you are. Besides having an incredible basketball career, you have your own line as well, your footwear. Way of. Wade, we have a pair of that you brought tonight. Come on, bud.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jimmy Fallon]

This is what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dwyane Wade]

So, Jimmy, in Miami, I also have my own boulevard. It's called Dwayne Way Boulevard. I have my own street. And so this is called the way of Way 12 Way Boulevard. So this is obviously green and white street sign. Yeah, street sign, baby. So this is the boulevard.

[Jimmy Fallon]

What's it like when you see your shoes in the real world? Like, people wearing them.

[Dwyane Wade]

Oh, man. So my shoes have become like a volleyball shoe. Out of nowhere, like, all the young girls that play volleyball are going out and buying these shoes. Their moms are buying these shoes. Yeah, they're picking these because they're very good basketball shoes. They have great traction. No, I'm just saying.

[Jimmy Fallon]

So they're picking these. And you could also. They're a dessert topic.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yeah. I go to a high school game and I see four girls wearing my shoes, and I'm like, this is really cool. I can't wait till after the game to go over and be like, hey, how you doing? So I walk up to one of the girls. I said, hey, thank you so much for wearing my shoes. She looked at me like, stranger danger. She was like, what shoes are you talking about? And I was like, those on your feet? She's like, I just like the color. She didn't know they was mine.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Stranger danger. Get out of here, dude. Everything okay? Dude, no. They don't even know that's Dwayne Wade. Come on. It's the best.

[Dwyane Wade]

I appreciate all the moms and the dads that's out supporting my sneaks, though. Appreciate that.

[Jimmy Fallon]

That's the best, dude. They're the best shoes. You're a stylish dude. Thank you for always coming to our show.

[Dwyane Wade]

Yes, sir.

[Jimmy Fallon]

We love you, everybody, but come back whenever you want.

[Dwyane Wade]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Fallon]

Dwyane Wade, everybody. Way of Wade is [e-mail] and wayofwade.com More Tonight show after the break. Stick around, everybody. To Johnny Knoxville, Dwayne Wade and the Roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Good night, everybody.

Thank y'. All. Let's get him out.

Thanks for listening to the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon, weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.