Podcast
The Topical
Hosted by The Onion · EN
The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.
10episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
The Final Episode Of The Topical
May 20, 202100:15:54Tap to summarizeLeslie Price returns from a months-long investigation to serve as host of America’s only daily news podcast one last time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce
Feb 5, 202100:09:52Tap to summarizeHear why PETA is coming to the defense of these over-bread monstrosities that exist for the sole purpose of having fresh tomato paste extracted from their many teat-like protuberances. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird
Feb 4, 202100:08:02Tap to summarizeIt looks dirty, and it’s doing a weird thing with its wings. Hear why it would be best if you just didn’t go near it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Nation’s Arborists Once Again Urge Congress To Lower The Age Of Consent For Trees
Feb 3, 202100:09:50Tap to summarizeHear why these arborists believe that if the fruit’s on the ground, it’s ready to pound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted
Feb 2, 202100:09:19Tap to summarizePlus, from royalty to recluse, we’ll sit down with a former prom king who now lives anonymously among the commoners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Team Of Vatican Geneticists Successfully Clone God
Feb 1, 202100:08:12Tap to summarizeIt’s an awe-inspiring scientific advancement, but is it ethical? Hear why critics say these geneticists shouldn’t be playing God on God by making God. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Nation’s Hypnotists Announce You Are Now Under Their Command
Jan 29, 202100:08:31Tap to summarizeHear why, when they snap their fingers, you will make the sound a donkey makes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Deer Shot By Obsessed Fan
Jan 28, 202100:08:48Tap to summarizeHear why authorities now believe the suspect stalked the 4-year-old buck for several hours before shooting him in the chest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Dept. Of Homeland Security: ‘Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?’
Jan 27, 202100:08:34Tap to summarizeHear why scrambling DHS officials are calling the missing folder “no big deal,” but they would really like to find it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Fun Toy Banned Because Of 3 Stupid Dead Kids
Jan 26, 202100:09:10Tap to summarizeAnd they weren’t even playing with it right. Hear why these dead children apparently thought it would be a good idea to ruin the fun for everyone else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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