What Are You (Really) Angry About?

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: The Wake-Up Call
Episode: What Are You (Really) Angry About?
Date: May 5, 2026
Host: J.D. Walt (with David Walt Sr.)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Wake-Up Call centers on the often-overlooked relationship between anger, bitterness, and forgiveness—especially within the Christian life. Host J.D. Walt challenges listeners to examine the real roots of their anger, drawing on Ephesians 4:31-32 and personal reflection. The discussion unpacks why conflict and unforgiveness undermine the mission of Jesus and offers both spiritual encouragement and practical prompts for overcoming these deeply human struggles. The episode also features a heartfelt hymn with J.D.’s father, David Walt Sr., exploring how Jesus can break cycles of anger and help us become people of healing instead of hurt.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Invocation & Personal Reflections

Timestamps: [00:06] – [03:00]

• J.D. opens with daily prayer, noting the need to “refresh my consecration” throughout the day due to distractions and negative thoughts.
• Honest reflection: “I just get pulled off my game… I just got to come back and say, Jesus, I belong to you. And it’s amazing how he just… grabs my face and resets me.” ([01:25])

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2. Scripture & Theme Introduction

Timestamps: [03:00] – [04:10]

• Focus passage is Ephesians 4:31-32:

  “Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”

• Raises the central question: “What are you really angry about?”

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3. The Impact of Conflict on the Mission of Jesus

Timestamps: [04:10] – [08:00]

• J.D. asserts that unresolved conflict and “bitterness, wrath, anger, slander, and malice” sabotage Christian witness:
  • “The effectiveness of our mission… is in direct proportion to the quality of our relationships with each other.” ([05:10])
• Links to Jesus’ prayer for unity (John 17:21): “They will see God in our relationships or not at all.”
• Forgiveness is not optional in Christian life; holding back forgiveness is contrary to the Gospel:
  • “We see [forgiveness] as optional to the extent that we see it as conditional on some prior response from the person who has hurt us.” ([06:25])
• Cites Romans 5:8 and Matthew 6:14-15: forgiveness is meant to be proactive and not contingent on confession by others.

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4. The True Nature of Forgiveness

Timestamps: [08:00] – [11:30]

• J.D. addresses popular misconceptions:
  • “Jesus does not forgive us because we confess and repent. We confess and repent because he has forgiven us. That’s huge, guys.” ([06:56])
• When forgiveness is withheld, it reveals brokenness in the holder, not the offender:
  • “My refusal to forgive reveals nothing about the person I am not forgiving and everything about me.” ([08:29])
• Practical analogy: “Unforgiveness is just taking a big old drink of poison and expecting it to kill them.” ([15:04])

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5. Exploring the Source of Anger & the “Baggage” Metaphor

Timestamps: [11:30] – [15:30]

• Honest admission: “At least half the time, what is making us bitter and angry is not what we are bitter and angry about.” ([11:40])
  • Unresolved past hurts—“baggage”—are often carried into present disputes.
• Calls on listeners to examine themselves:
  • “It begins by asking the Holy Spirit to bring it to our awareness and then asking, ‘What am I really mad about?’” ([12:26])
• Real-life humor: “I want to pull up beside them [road ragers] and say, what are you really mad about?…It’s something broken in us much of the time.” ([12:40])

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6. What Forgiveness Is…and Isn’t

Timestamps: [15:30] – [16:58]

• Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation:
  • “That’s not what forgiveness means. That’s what reconciliation means. That’s another thing that’s further down the line.”
• Forgiveness means letting go of debt and not retaliating, even in thought:
  • “I’m not going to practice that speech anymore. I’m forgiving you. I’m letting it go. Canceling the debt. You don’t owe me anything anymore.” ([16:35])
• Forgiveness can happen unilaterally and is a personal spiritual act.

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7. Journal Prompts for Reflection

Timestamps: [16:58] – [17:35]

• J.D. provides questions for self-examination:
  1. Do you identify with this—that what you’re mad about isn’t what you’re really mad about?
  2. How might bitterness/anger point to your own withholding of forgiveness?
  3. Have you thought someone must confess before you forgive? Is that biblical?

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8. Intergenerational Conversation & Worship

Timestamps: [17:36] – [22:17]

• J.D. introduces his father, David Walt Sr., and discusses the generational transmission of anger.
  • “Anger is a bully and it breaks people… And the reason why they were angry is because somebody in their past was angry at them. It’s a cycle.”
• Key insight: “Broken people break people, but healed people heal people.” ([22:00])
• The hymn “Have Thine Own Way, Lord” is sung; its lyrics relate to surrendering anger and being reshaped by God, like clay in the hands of a potter.

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9. Breaking the Cycle—Moving Toward Healing

Timestamps: [22:17] – [22:51]

• Jesus is the one who breaks the cycle of inherited anger and bitterness:
  • “Jesus is the healer… Anger is a wound and it needs to be healed. And he can do it today.”
• Encouragement to entrust anger to Jesus: “He’s not mad…God is on our side. Never forget that.” ([22:39])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Our conflict compromises the mission of Jesus.” ([04:19], J.D. Walt)
• “Jesus does not forgive us because we confess and repent. We confess and repent because he has forgiven us. That’s huge, guys.” ([06:56], J.D. Walt)
• "Unforgiveness is just taking a big old drink of poison and expecting it to kill them." ([15:04], J.D. Walt)
• “Broken people break people, but healed people heal people.” ([22:00], J.D. Walt Sr.)
• “He’s not mad. God’s not mad. God is on our side. Never forget that.” ([22:39], David Walt Sr.)

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Journal Prompts from the Episode

• What are you really angry about?
• How does bitterness or anger in your life connect to forgiveness you might be withholding?
• Do you think someone must confess or make amends before you forgive them? Why or why not?

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Closing Themes

• Anger is often a surface symptom of deeper, unresolved hurts—“baggage” God wants to heal.
• Forgiveness is a core practice in Christian life, rooted in Jesus’ forgiveness of us. It is more about our own relationship with God than the actions of others.
• Entrusting anger to Jesus can break cycles of pain and make room for healing, peace, and spiritual renewal.

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For further support and to connect with the community, listeners are invited to upcoming church gatherings in Savannah, Georgia, and to reflect with the journal prompts provided.

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Good news. It's today again, and it's another day. Not just another day, guys. It's May 5th in the year of our Lord 2026. It's Cinco de Mayo. It is the taco. It is the Queen Taco Tuesday of all Taco Tuesdays. It's when the 5th of May is celebrated on a Tuesday. And we're going to be in. We're in Savannah, Georgia, in fact, today and tomorrow. And I'm going to put some notes down in the PS that tell you exactly where we are. If you're in the area and you can join us, we'll be at a church tonight and a church tomorrow night and. Yeah, but I'm not going to preach the announcements. We're going to dive right in. Wake up, sleeper. Rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. Jesus, I belong to you. I lift up my heart to you. I set my mind on you. I fix my eyes on you. I offer my body to you as a living sacrifice. Jesus, we belong to you. And we're praying in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Just want to remind you that though we pray that prayer in the morning, there are days I've had lately where I felt like by like 11am I got to pray it again. I got to refresh my consecration because I just get pulled off my game. Does that ever happen to you? Just kind of get a little sideways energy going. Get a sort of funky thought in my mind, a little bit of a brain fog, and I start telling myself the wrong story, and I just got to come back and say, jesus, I belong to you. And it's amazing how he just. It's just almost like he just grabs my face and just resets me. It's like, oh, okay, all right. Yeah, that's. Let's get back on that story. Well, today's entry is entitled, so what are you really angry about? Yeah, this can be a fun one. Our text is Ephesians, chapter 4, verses 31 and 32. Hear now the word of the Lord. Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. It's the word of the Lord. Now consider this. Our conflict compromises the mission of Jesus. Do you believe this? Isn't this, at a minimum, why Paul would urge us to put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander? Together with all malice and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you. The effectiveness of our mission to the world is in direct proportion to the quality of our relationships with each other. Isn't this what Jesus meant when he prayed for us? That all of them may be one Father? Just as you are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us. Listen so that the world may believe that you have sent me. That's John 17:21. Isn't Jesus saying they will see God in our relationships or not at all? We can contend for the divinity and the uniqueness and the unconditional love of Jesus all we want. But if our relationships are characterized by bitterness, wrath, anger, slander and malice, our arguments will fall flat. Our conflict compromises the mission of Jesus. Is this not why forgiveness figures so prominently in the Gospel? Jesus or no Jesus, conflict is a given. The problem for Christians is the way we tend to see forgiveness as optional. Pushing further, we see it as optional to the extent that we see it as conditional on some prior response from the person who has hurt us. You see the problem in that way of thinking. Paul said, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you. Jesus does not forgive us because we confess and repent. We confess and repent because he has forgiven us. That's huge, guys. Jesus died for us, as Scripture says, while we were yet sinners. It's Romans 5:8. Now, to be clear, Jesus forgiveness of me and my receipt and appropriation of his forgiveness are two separate things. You see, my forgiving you means I no longer hold your trespass against you. It says nothing about you and everything about me. When I hold on to your trespasses against me, it actually serves to hold me down. In fact, whenever I withhold forgiveness from you, God's forgiveness is withheld from me. I recognize this last statement offends our notion of grace being unconditional, but there is no reference to Jesus stuttering when he said, and I quote, for if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. That's Matthew 6, 14 and 15. So is Jesus saying that if I withhold forgiveness from another person, my soul is in danger of hell? I don't think so. I think he's saying, my refusal to grant forgiveness blocks my ability to receive forgiveness. My refusal to forgive reveals nothing about the person I am not forgiving and everything about me. It reveals my Bitterness, wrath, anger, wrangling, slander and malice. This is why Paul tells us to put it away. Now, here's the really interesting part. To me, if we are honest with each other, and I know we try to be, we will have to admit that at least half the time what is making us bitter and angry is not what we are bitter and angry about. In other words, it's the bitterness in me that I brought to the conflict at hand that keeps me from forgiving you for whatever it is that we are at odds about. Sure, maybe I'm genuinely bitter about something you've done to me, but chances are I've been carrying that for years, and my conflict with you is just bringing it forward and adding to it. It's what we in the industry call baggage. And yes, we all carry some. It's part of the old false self Jesus wants us to exchange for the new creation life he is already giving us. So how do we put away our bitterness and all the other stuff? It begins by asking the Holy Spirit to bring it to our awareness and then asking questions like, so, John David, what are you really angry about? That's good right there, y'. All. That's some truth I just poured out this morning. What am I really mad about? You know, so I'll be going down the road sometimes, and people tell me I'm a bad driver, but I can't be that bad. But somebody will come by me and just flip the bird at me. I mean, sometimes it's two hands coming out of the window and. And I want to pull up beside them and say, what are you really mad about? Because again, you get my point. So often the reason we're mad or the thing we're mad at is not the reason we're mad. It's something broken in us much of the time. I remember a song that I learned about this verse. I'm gonna try to sing it to you. We're gonna sing a hymn in a minute, but I love this song. It goes like this. Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ has forgiven you do. Ephesians 4, 32. I love that. Well, let's pray. Abba. Father, we do thank you for your son, Jesus, whose grace is unfathomably amazing. Teach us this way of grace that forgiveness precedes confession, the way confession precedes receiving, and the way receiving precedes cleansing. And the way cleansing precedes wellness and being able to forgive others. Now come, Holy Spirit, and reveal to us what we are really angry about and show us how that might connect to our own failure to forgive. Somewhere in our past, we are praying in Jesus name. Amen, y'. All. This is a deep one. This is deep stuff. We're carrying the bag, we're pulling the bags behind us. And that baggage, it usually is related to some kind of unforgiveness in our past. It could be of another person, it could be of a parent, it could be of somebody who's already passed on. But you know what? You can still go there. Forgiveness is something that you have to do in yourself. And you're doing it. You're doing it for the Lord. You're doing it for yourself. You're not really necessarily doing it for them. It can help them. It definitely can help them. But even if they don't know it, that's okay. They don't have to receive it from you. They don't have to hear it from you. Because you know what unforgiveness is. I've said it before. I got to stop because I'm going to go too long. Unforgiveness is just taking a big old drink of poison and expecting it to kill them. And again, you need to understand here what forgiveness actually is. It's not. It doesn't mean everything's all hunky dory and the relationship is healed and everybody's getting along, living happily ever after. That's not what forgiveness means. That's what reconciliation means. That's another thing that's further down the line. Oftentimes doesn't happen. Sometimes it does. Forgiveness is simply deciding, I'm not going to pay you back for what you did to me. I'm going to let Jesus absorb it on the cross. I'm going to. I'm just going to. I'm not paying you back. I'm not going to talk about you. I'm not going to shoot the bird back at you, guy in the car in front of me. I'm not going to get other people triangulated against you. I'm not going to try to hurt you in some other way. I'm not even going to go down the pathway of my anger fantasies against you. And like how I would tell you off if we. If. If I ever got the chance. I'm not going to practice that speech anymore. I'm forgiving you. I'm letting it go. Canceling the debt. You don't owe me anything anymore. We're done with that. That's what forgiveness is. You don't have to tell Them, they don't have to feel it. You can probably good if you do, but it's not necessary to forgive somebody. But the problem is we misunderstand it and we don't do it. And therefore we carry the bags. We just drag the B bags behind us years and years and years and years and. But any minute you can just say, you know what? Those bags are going in the dumpster today. I'm letting it go. I'm stopping all of that. I'm not going to pay you back anymore. Moving on. Journal prompts. Do you identify with this? That what you're mad about is not really what you're really mad about? You get me on that? Number two, how might bitterness or anger in your life point to your own withholding of forgiveness toward others? Guys, journal this out. Write it down. Don't carry this another day. Make progress on this today. And number three, have you thought that someone must confess their wrong to you before you forgive them? I think that's bad teaching. You know, that's called making amends. And making amends is. Is next level. That's how you rebuild a relationship. But they don't got to make amends for you to forgive them. This really is much more between you and the Lord than it is between you and them at the level of forgiveness. All right, there's going to be a lot of thinking on this one. A lot today, a lot of praying. There might be some pushback. That's okay. I welcome it. We're. We're trying to get down to the truth here. And this is core. I'm going to get dad over here and we're going to sing a song today. And we'll just pause for that now. All right, everybody, we've got our favorite worship leader and singer here today.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

It is David Walt. John. David Walt Sr. And dad. People sometimes ask me, how old is your dad?

[A]

My dad?

[B]

You. Oh, me?

[A]

Let's see. I am. I was born in 1940.

[B]

He was born. He was born in 1940. You can do the math. He is.

[A]

It is 80 something.

[B]

80. It's 20. 26. So this year in November, you will be 86.

[A]

86?

[B]

Yeah. You're 85 right now. We're not gonna rush that.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

But yeah, we're ready to sing here, gang. And dad, in the wake up call, I talked to. I talked about anger, and I talked about oftentimes when people get mad at somebody and you're like, why are you so mad? I'm like, well, they're not mad because of that. It's something. They were already mad.

[A]

Right. They came mad.

[B]

They came mad. And this is a song we're going to sing. Tell them what it is.

[A]

Have thine own way, Lord.

[B]

What's the number? It's 3.

[A]

43.

[B]

Sometimes. All the time. Really. Have thine own way. It says I. Thou art the potter.

[A]

I am the clay.

[B]

I am the clay. We just need to say, Lord, I'm back up on the wheel. You gotta reshape me. You've got to reform this pot because it's gotten cracked and brittle and hard. And anger will do that. And so put some water on it and reshape it. Let's get going again. And this is a prayer we're singing to him. Have your way in me. We're going to sing 1, 3, and 4. You ready?

[A]

I'm ready.

[B]

Sing into the mic now.

[A]

Have thine own way, Lord. Have thine own way. Thou art the potter, I am the clay. Mow me and make me after my will While I am waiting Yielded and still number three. Have thy way, Lord. Have thine own way Will it and weary Help me, I pray. Power. All power surely is thine Touch me and he Savior. Divine verse. Have thine own way, Lord have thine own way Hold, O my being Absolute sway Filled with thy spirit Till all shall be Christ only living in me Amen.

[B]

That's good right there. You know, that whole touch me and heal me. Do you know why people struggle a lot of times with anger? Or they're angry because somewhere in their life, a lot of times growing up, somebody was angry at them. Anger is a bully anger, and it's.

[A]

It's hard to forget anger.

[B]

It. It breaks people.

[A]

It does.

[B]

And. And the reason why they were angry is because somebody in their past was angry at them. Do you. It's a cycle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know who breaks that cycle?

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

Jesus can break the cycle, but it's like, you got to get back up on the potter's wheel. This is. This is part of what it means when we talk about being broken by God. He has to. To break the old pot and kind of start over that clay wet again and heal us. Because what's. What's been, you know, broken people break people, but healed people heal people.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

Jesus is the healer. He says, touch me and heal me. Power, all power surely is thine Touch me and heal me. Anger is a wound and it needs to be healed. And he can do it today.

[A]

You need to get rid of it.

[B]

He can do it today. Just say Jesus, I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to renounce my anger. I'm going to receive your peace. He's not mad. A lot of people think God's mad. You know why they think he's mad? Because their parents maybe were mad at them. Yeah, he's not mad. God's not mad.

[A]

Well, God is on our side. Never forget that. God is on our side.

[B]

He's for us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not against us.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

Wants to help us. He wants to heal us. He wants to witness to his goodness through us. Fill with thy spirit till all shall see Christ only always living in me. All right, tonight we're going to be in Savannah, Georgia. We're going to be at Good Shepherd Church. We got three appointments this week. We had one last night, Good shepherd church in Savannah, 6 o' clock p.m. we're having a Taco Tuesday Cinco de Mayo party. And then I'm going to step up. We're going to sing some songs and tell some stories and read some scripture. It's going to be good. But come on at 6. If you can't get there at 6, keep. Just be late. We'll. We'll probably get started at 6:30 with other things. And then on Wednesday night we're going to be at Skidaway. S K I D A W A Y Skidaway Methodist Church. And that's gonna start around 5:45.

[A]

In what town?

[B]

This, in Savannah, Georgia.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Tonight and 5:45 we're gonna do the same thing, so love to see you there. Now in the meantime, we got today to sow love for The Awakening. I'm J.D. walt.

[A]

And I'm David Walt.

[B]

We'll see you on the field.