← The Wayback with Ryan Sickler
The Wayback with Ryan Sickler
112: Justin Schlegel | The Wayback with Ryan Sickler – Baltimore Junkyard Series #112 — Full Episode
00:39:28
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- [00:00]
A
Hey, guys, Ryan Sickler here. I wanted to let you know that I'm headed to Connecticut. Come see me at Comics Roadhouse March 13th and 14th. Get your tickets now@ryancickler.com.
- [00:16]
B
hey, baby, we gonna be here all day. We're gonna be here all day, baby. I like this kind of party. Foreign.
- [00:33]
A
What's up, guys? Ryan Sickler here. I'm back home in Baltimore. Very excited to be here to do something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. You guys been asking for years to have my brothers on, old friends, family. And I'm finally able to make it happen. Make sure you're subscribed. You're going to get episodes for a while. We got a bunch of them coming your way. Wait for you guys to see this. Welcome back to the Wayback everybody. Ryan Sickler here. RyanCickler.com Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Thank you guys for watching this show. Coming to you on location here. This is a special one tonight in Baltimore shooting some content. You'll be seeing a lot of this stuff on the Patreon. This is one that's going right here on the youtubes. I'm very excited to have this guest here. This is the Baltimore Junkyard series. And ladies and gentlemen, this is Justin Schlegel. Welcome to the way back.
- [01:30]
B
What's up, dude? Thank you for having me. This place is awesome.
- [01:32]
A
Thank you very much for being here. Before we get into any stories, please, right here. Where are we? Dark, this is you right here. That's us. So plug everything you'd like right here.
- [01:41]
B
Instagram, justin98rock, YouTube. I got a special out. It's called Chaos Theory. Love it, Share it. Turned down by all major streaming platforms. So it's up to you. Get that shit out there because I mean it borderline financially bankrupted me. So yeah. Justin Schlegel, chaos theory98online.com for my radio show, Justin, Scott and Spiegel, I'd love for you to listen download the 98 Rock mobile app.
- [02:05]
A
That's right.
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B
People can listen anywhere, anywhere in the world now. Yeah, we're streaming, we're going super digital and I got a podcast called the DLP Agenda with two other great comics. Rob Mayer, who's awesome, Joe Robinson, who's awesome. And. And we're on Patreon like you and yeah. Patreon.com the DLP agenda die laughing production. So there you go. Take it, enjoy it.
- [02:32]
A
You're a dj. Well, and what do they call it?
- [02:34]
B
No, it's like broadcasting.
- [02:36]
A
What do you call it? What do you call it? What's your title?
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B
Broadcast radio host.
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A
Your radio. Morning radio host.
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B
Yeah. No one's jockeying any discs anymore.
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A
No. Biggest radio station in Baltimore.
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B
Yep. Same owner, same format.
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A
Is that right?
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B
1977. Never flip format, never changed owners.
- [02:53]
A
Classic rock.
- [02:54]
B
Hell yeah.
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A
And I've never done 98 Rock.
- [02:57]
B
I can't wait.
- [02:57]
A
I've. And I'm getting. You're allowing me to come and do it. I can't thank you enough because I've never actually. We're blowing out seconds for you there.
- [03:05]
B
I'm stoked you're coming in. It's fun when a friend comes in, like, I can, like, connect with. Because Josh and Scott, I mean, they're friends. They're brothers. It's like when you have, like, an old friend of yours, you know, know on the way back or honeydew. It's easy.
- [03:18]
A
So I got a bunch of Maryland stories already written down for you guys,
- [03:21]
B
so I'm so stoked.
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A
I was also an intern for grx.
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B
Really?
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A
Your competition?
- [03:25]
B
Well, they went out of business.
- [03:27]
A
They had just. I was at Towson, and they had just switched to 100x. They went from a GRX classic to an X. Tried to do that 90s rock rebrand.
- [03:36]
B
Everyone tried to take on an alternative station around here called WHFS991. They were legendary. They went the way of the dodo. And 98 Rock won the war of attrition. Those call letters that you were at, they were pretty legendary. We still got the bay around here. Radio is still valuable. God damn it.
- [03:54]
A
So when I grew up, it was B104.
- [03:56]
B
Oh, yeah, B104, that was like 80s hits.
- [03:58]
A
And V103 was the R B station.
- [04:01]
B
Then it was B 102.7, Baltimore's number one hit music station. I work for them.
- [04:05]
A
93, WPOC was the country.
- [04:08]
B
Country's still out there. Shout out Bob Delmont. He does the midday show, 107 Point.
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A
See, now here's the other thing about uniquely. We live Baltimore dc. So you would get DC stations.
- [04:18]
B
There'd be a lot bleed over between the two markets, and you could get
- [04:21]
A
a lot of different music. So, yeah, I start these episodes off by usually asking my guests. This seat here, the way back, have you ever sat in the seat? If so, who owned the car? What were you doing back here?
- [04:32]
B
My dad had an Oldsmobile way back seated station wagon in the mid to late 80s. And the way it was formatted was it had the Two seats in the back that actually faced each other. So one the seat and the way back face the windshield, so you knew where you were heading, and then the seat in front of it faced the rear view window, so you knew where you'd been and you had no idea where the hell you're heading off to. It's like, oh, that's cool. I wish you would have stopped there. But I would sit in the back. My brother would sit in front of me. I got a brother named Pat. And every summer, we would go to Ocean City, which is, like, the spot to vacation. The redneck Riviera.
- [05:11]
A
Talk about this, like, living now in California. They don't have at least Los Angeles. They don't have the stretch of condos and everything. You've lived there?
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B
Yeah.
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A
I feel like the west coast, the beach is more of a day trip.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Here it is. Like, when you ask them where you go. Ocean City. Where are we going?
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B
We're going Ocean.
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A
We're going to the beach.
- [05:32]
B
It's summertime. We're going to Ocean. Maybe you'll go to Rehoboth, maybe you'll go to Dewey, but you're still in that stretch there. You stretch almost like, you know, you got the, the Long Island Sound. You got those, like, little slivers of land. That's what Ocean City is. And, dude, I, I remember that way back seat, because my dad, on the way to Ocean City every year, the guy was a scrapple. Like, he had a love of scrapple.
- [06:01]
A
Tell everybody. I, I, this is another thing I got to tell people if they don't know Scrapp.
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B
You know about scrapple?
- [06:05]
A
I do.
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B
You know about scrapple.
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A
You know about scrapple is also a little like a Dutch. It's a Pennsylvania, Maryland thing. Trust me when I tell you it's not known around the world.
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B
It ain't the choicest cut. It's lips, Ass, brain, skull, nuts.
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A
It's like what's left.
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B
Fingernails, dicks, and toes.
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A
What's left after hot dogs and sausage.
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B
It's the. It's the. That wasn't good enough for a hot dog. They sweep it up, they gelatinate it into this, like, the same shape as a McDonald's hash brown.
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A
Yep.
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B
100% great example out of it. Catch.
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A
It smells like bacon.
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B
Ish. And it smells horrible uncooked. Because my dad, on the way to Ocean City every year, would stop by the Rapa scrapple plant and buy crates of it wholesale. No, bro, this, this.
- [06:54]
A
I thought he was stopping to eat it at a diner. He's getting wholesale scrapple.
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B
We had no AC in this station wagon, dude. It was a sweat box. And he'd get crates of the guts and guts. It was gore. It was awful. It was in between my brother and I and he would pull, he would pull into the plant. I you not dude, I start crying. I was a kid, I'd start crying like no, no, no. And you distinct dude, the last 45 minutes of the trip it was just like having. It was like having a picnic near a mass grave. The rock. The rock.
- [07:30]
A
I've never met anyone that loved anything that much.
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B
Scrapple. Now trust me, I love all of it. Dude, it wouldn't last the trip. He morning.
- [07:40]
A
What are you talking about?
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B
He would get two like basically like a milk crate with a couple of things of this rapal scrapple in there.
- [07:46]
A
And while you're in Ocean City, every
- [07:47]
B
day we stay for like dude, morning, noon and night he'd fry it up, watch tv, plates of scrapple. I mean my dad would get a six pack Swanson Salisbury steak family platter barely. His leg, dude, his legs are purple, okay?
- [08:01]
A
That's all.
- [08:02]
B
Like he needs scrapple. He needs ozempic for the original reason. Okay, like the type 2 reason. No, he gave himself diabetes. And he would just sit there and just eat non stop. He just loves grapple. But when you smell it raw, dude, it was horrible. So I remember sitting. I don't think it's abysmal, just that
- [08:20]
A
this grocery, you take it out and throw it in. But not bucks.
- [08:22]
B
No, dude. And in a hot on air conditioned car while he's listening to Steely Dan on cassette, my brother and I the back crying. It was horrible, dude. It was horrible. So this way, back seat, right there, these two hub caps we're resting our feet on should be crates of uncooked scrapple. Two crates. Two crates of it.
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A
That's so sick. I didn't even know. Where are you going to get that?
- [08:49]
B
Like wrap a scrapple. The where is wrap a scrapple? It's just somewhere on the eastern shore.
- [08:54]
A
Look it up for this episode and cut it in. If we find is it still exist?
- [08:57]
B
I don't know because I'm never taking my children there because I'm giving them a scrap rapa rap. And it's maybe it's short for like Rappahannock or something like that, but they got a plant and you could go there and you could buy it wholesale. It was disgusting.
- [09:10]
A
That's disgusting.
- [09:11]
B
It's so vile. It's so vile. So yeah, No, I have. I got some severe memories of the way back.
- [09:16]
A
So tell me about your vacation. You're going to Ocean City.
- [09:19]
B
Ocean.
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A
What are you guys doing down in Ocean City?
- [09:21]
B
We would go to Ocean City is. As a kid. So for those that aren't familiar, it's a numbered street system. Street one and beyond was the boardwalk. And that's where if you were like making a couple of bucks as a family, you could stay close to the boardwalk. We weren't making a couple of bucks. No, my. My dad was a union Electrician. Shout out IBW Local 24. We would stay up in the 1 30s in the trailer parks, and a buddy of ours named Danny Spicer had a single wide trailer near an old pro golf course and an arcade. And they're all kind of like, sat like kind of cattywampus to each other and just streets and streets of these trailers. And we would stay in there and we would. Oh, we would stay.
- [10:04]
A
Is that Bayside?
- [10:06]
B
Yeah, Bayside. Yeah. So you have Coastal highway in Ocean City. You have the Oceanside, where all the fancy hotels are. Bayside is where, you know, the swamp trash like me would stay. And we would get there and Danny would like, hand us the keys. And I remember he had this dachshund and. This is so fucking gross. And if you're a dog lover, trust me, I love him too. But I don't love dogs this much. He would have a big Gulps cup worth of iced tea, and he would just drink it and talk to my dad and he put the cup down on the ground and this dog would like, lap iced tea from it and he'd bring it right back to his lips. So. Dude, I reek of scrapple. I'm watching a dude just drink after a dog pig guts. Disgusting. Just like you vile people. You vile, vile trash of which I come from and one day will return too, as.
- [10:54]
A
As you should.
- [10:55]
B
Oh, yeah, no pure trash. But yeah, we. Okay, so we played a ton of putt putt down there. Yeah, dude, we flexed on so you could go and either get the rubber putter that they do just give you. Nah, we brought our own putters. We brought professional.
- [11:08]
A
You guys are bringing your putters?
- [11:09]
B
Do you know how many other golf clubs we owned? None. We bought professional putters just for this. Just for putt putt. We going stunt on. People take it so seriously. So seriously. My dad was a shit golfer. I was a shit golfer. My brother was a terrible golfer. But we would show up and like, do you need putters? Like, no, we got our own. And, I mean, it would be like a nice ping putter, which is like 180 bucks to try and win the free game at the pinwheel at the end. Oh, yeah, we just do it all day long.
- [11:38]
A
That's great.
- [11:39]
B
Oh, I love Putt Putt. Dude,
- [11:43]
A
I was talking to you before we recorded, and you said you went to McDonough. And I'm yelling to my buddy and producer over here, Sam, here at McDonough, he's a rich kid. Because McDonough here in Baltimore area is a very prestigious private high school that is known for, you know, the children of CEOs, the.
- [12:04]
B
The heads of state, someone that's on a sailing team.
- [12:06]
A
I think Monica Sellous went there. There's a few.
- [12:09]
B
Yeah.
- [12:09]
A
Prominent people who've also come out of there as well.
- [12:12]
B
But kids that don't go, they don't want. When you go there, you don't vacation. You summer. Yeah, you summer somewhere. You're on the rowing team. The Ambassadors coming over for tapas, dude. I found that out when I first moved away from Waldorf, Maryland, to Baltimore. And I found out that this city that I love, but they have their heads up their ass about where you went to high school. I. No one cared in Waldorf where you went to high school. You either went to McDonald.
- [12:37]
A
Isn't it interesting that that was a big deal for people here? Like, where'd you go to high school?
- [12:40]
B
They would base their opinion on you. Where'd you go to high school? Archbishop, Curling.
- [12:44]
A
I was just about to say,
- [12:47]
B
dude, Curly. I didn't get that until I started telling people, like, they started asking me when I moved away, like, you know, where'd you go to high school? I was like, I went to McDonald. And I get the same reaction you had earlier. I get this, like, wide eyed, like, oh, my. What does your father do? Does he work for Hopkins? Does. Does your mother work for the State Department? I was like, my dad was electrician
- [13:06]
A
named after him at Hop.
- [13:07]
B
Yeah, exactly. Is there a bench somewhere in a park with a plaque dedicated to your grandpapa? Someone the fourth in your lineage? I'm like, no. My mom was a ER nurse and eventually became a biker, and my dad, like, laid conduit. And that's when I found out that there was Fancy McDonough and there was Maurice J. McDonough in Pomfret, Maryland, which is in a swamp, which I'm just finding it is a shithole. All right. Fuck the Rams. Your football team sucks. J. Maurice J. McDonough. All right. The J stands for Jack Me off because you guys have never brought me back for a career day. Fuck. Is that right? That school sucks, Maurice J. McDonough. Fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. Your high school football team sucked. Your wrestling team sucked. You built a ramp for handicapped kids to go from the first to the second floor that was like 80 yards long. It was half the school to get kids in wheelchairs from one floor to the other. How many kids were in wheelchairs in my school? None. Fucking none. You. You had a pool that was always empty. It was just this dry. Fuck that school. It was in the middle of a swamp. So you couldn't. You couldn't cut school. There was one driveway in. And another driveway.
- [14:16]
A
Anything then.
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B
And if you wanted to quit school, like, bounce on school, what do they call? They call them. Are they dumb waiters or bell waiters? What are the big rubbers that you wear? The big, like, rubber waiters that you like go swamping in?
- [14:27]
A
Crawling waiters.
- [14:30]
B
The dumb waiters out. Okay, so it's like. It's like bell waiters. Just waiters. You had to sneak those into school to put those things on, to walk through the swamp. That's how you had to do it. I never did it, but people did. People, they would keep them in their backpacks. They put these big rubbers on, and they would just go trudge through the swamp to get out of there. It was like the Alcatraz of high schools.
- [14:51]
A
Wait, you. You. Briefly. I know we all live our lives, and it's just normal stuff to say, but you said your mom became a biker. Yeah, let's talk about that.
- [14:59]
B
Yeah, she got.
- [15:00]
A
Well, tell us who she was before and. And, you know, because becoming a biker is usually. Yeah, you know, it's a thing.
- [15:08]
B
No, it's a fucking life choice.
- [15:09]
A
So what was she before?
- [15:11]
B
She was a ER nurse. Hospice nurse. And I think she might have worked in an endoscopy, but I know she was mostly. Mostly ER and in hospice. And she would see. She would see some pretty brutal shit at some of this, like, hospice care. Like, she was giving people end of life care, you know, that was it. The door had locked behind them. They're not getting them to the other side. Yeah, she's. She's sort of like, you know, shepherding through the river. Sticks. Okay. She was the one taking them through, you know, the river of hell. And, I mean, she'd come home and tell some stories about, like, she would come over and take over other people's cases that were, like, neglectful of the patient. And she said she came home once and she found this dude in the back, like, moaning and he had bed sores and like, the house just like, smelled like rotten. And the family had requested a new nurse. And when they. She rolled this guy over, the old nurse had packed his bed sores with newspaper. Nah. Yeah, she. They balled up newspaper and then put gauze over it. So she had to clean, like pull all that stuff out. He's wailing. She's got to like de bride the wound and clean it out. And gave him a level of comfort. So she got married young and she had me young.
- [16:27]
A
And she's seeing the end of life.
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B
She's seeing the end of life and she's crazy young. And her.
- [16:35]
A
She attracted. Was she pretty?
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B
Yeah, she was gorgeous. Huge ass. Huge ass. The biggest ass you've ever seen. It was. It didn't match her waist. No. My mom had the most luscious.
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A
She had the natural BBL before bbl.
- [16:48]
B
I found out about the term thunder thighs from all of my friends being like, yo, Segal's mom got down thunder thighs. She got them biggins. She looked like Chun Li from Street Fighter 2. She, tiny waist, honking, derrier. I mean, it was. It was magnificent. And tiny top, long black hair. People always thought she was like Korean, but she was like. I think she was like Italian, Irish, Dutch. She was a bunch of stuff. But they got divorced when I was 12 and my dad just stayed the path. He was a naval guy, got into the brotherhood of electricians. He stayed with that. But mom was like, I got some youth to reclaim and she started like, hanging out with dudes and bands. And then she got hooked up with a guy that was in like a biker set who had like the 1% diamond on his cut. I'm like, ah, you're meeting him and stuff. I'm like, meeting him. And I would like, stay the night. And this was before you could like, melatonin the out of a kid so someone could come over and just. Black ass to your mom half to death. So I would be in the next room just hearing mom just getting her inside stirred up like chili.
- [18:01]
A
You're hearing that.
- [18:02]
B
Oh, it was awful. Awful. Listen, she was not opposed to it, by the sound of it. I was like, I hate this. It gave me a really weird relationship with sex. It gave me a weird relationship with sex when you're just hearing just explicitness from the other room with a guy named Scuzz.
- [18:19]
A
Scuzz?
- [18:20]
B
Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure I'm not sure his real name. It might have been Dave. But yeah, he would come over and it would be horrible. I'd be in the other room with my. Like. I had the metal Sony headphones on, hooked up to my Game Boy, just playing Tetris as loud as I could while mom's just in the back and fracked for oil. I hated that. It was bad. Yeah, so she. She. She got into the biker.
- [18:42]
A
But was that her man? Or were there a couple coming and going?
- [18:45]
B
Yeah.
- [18:46]
A
Was this her like her? Or was she his old la.
- [18:49]
B
Is this. She was one dude's old lady, this guy named Holder, who was.
- [18:53]
A
Did she show up one day just looking like Aaron Brockovich, like, you know,
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B
she shows up, she got her tits all pressed up, like, why do you got chaps?
- [19:01]
A
Is she wearing ch.
- [19:02]
B
She wore the gear. She did. It was a lot of denim, but every now and then she have some leather, dude. Okay. One night I'm. I got a sleepover at my place. My friend Robert Hartman's over there. Robert, if you're watching this, I miss you.
- [19:15]
A
And.
- [19:16]
B
But he lived a couple of houses down. He comes over, 12, 13. We're playing like Altered Beast on my Sega Genesis. Dad's asleep. It's probably 10:30, 11:00pm mom doesn't live with us anymore. She since moved out. She comes bursting through the front door, wailing. Side of her face is all fucked up. She looks like someone pumped her in the face of like, rock salt with a shotgun. She. You ever seen the scene from RoboCop where the guy hit the toxic waste and is like fucking lurching towards the car. And then they hit him and he pops. Not that bad, but kind of close. And she comes in screaming like, oh, what the fuck? I think I actually cussed in front of her for the first time. She tipped her bike in a gravel parking lot. She was trying to peel out of a parking lot. She might had a drink. And the tile. Excuse me. The tire kicked and it was shooting rocks, like, in her face. And the tire, like, the heat was right here and it's throwing gravel on her face. So from her hairline down to her chin, her face is just ribbons.
- [20:19]
A
And why is she coming to the
- [20:21]
B
house and not the hospital? I don't know. I think she just panicked. She was probably in shock, but, like,
- [20:26]
A
she drove like that or you think when she got to the house, it happened?
- [20:29]
B
She. I know where she was at. Was only a mile or two away, man. So I think she came to us because the next closest hospital was in Clinton Maryland, which is like 15 miles away. So she came over there and I. My buddy, who is from a Ned Flanders like family. I mean, they save grace before breakfast. Is seeing my mom over there before Scrapples. He wants more scrapple. No, I just want a Pringle, Justin. And she just comes in and her face is just obliterated. And that was rough. Justin grabbed his. Excuse me, Robert grabbed his bag and went home.
- [21:04]
A
He's like, I'm out.
- [21:05]
B
He's like this. I'm not.
- [21:07]
A
Face is off.
- [21:07]
B
I don't feel like playing Streets of Rage anymore. I can see your mom, Skull. I'm out of here. So, yeah, my dad took her off to the hospital and did whatever. Yeah, she had another. She had another biker guy named Holder who. This guy sucked. He was a world class liar. He once told me that he trained in Tai chi and was able to jump and grab the rim of a basketball with his toes.
- [21:35]
A
That's the most absurd. I'm like, it's the dumbest shit.
- [21:39]
B
Go for it. Let me see. He's like, well, I've had a long day. Listen this.
- [21:43]
A
I've had a long day.
- [21:44]
B
I've had a long day. Like, okay, Dr. J. So he was a car painter, slash part time biker. And I guess he worked in one of those big. One of those like big sheds where you pull a car into and you hit it with the spray and you've got the rebreather and on. Well, I guess the place that he worked at never changed the filters in the masks. So he just breathed in like years worth of chemical. Which for whatever reason, I don't know why, I don't know anything about the human body, but it removed his ability to know when he had to go to the bathroom. No. Yeah, piss. And he didn't know he had to until it was a code red and she moved in with this dork and we would be. I would stay with her and he'd be there and he'd be talking about the one time, you know, he fought Kareem Abdul Jabbar at Six Flags or some other. Or the one time, you know, he was asked to be the Grand Dragon of the clan because, you know, they're looking for someone with his stature or, you know, how he invented the laptop or something. What if you made a computer thin? He just, Just after. And he'd sit there and you just start to see just a pancake of piss form. You have to be like, you gotta. You're. You're pissing. Oh, God damn. You go lumbering off.
- [22:58]
A
Wait, you're saying. I thought you meant, like, it would be to a point where he'd have to go sprint now. But he would.
- [23:04]
B
He would catch himself sometimes. He would catch himself sometimes. But other times, I would just be, you know, watching Monday Night Raw, and you'd be. You know, you'd smell the ph balance that was clearly off. Guys like, hold of your pissing, like, oh, God damn it. And you go lumbering off like some big dumb swamp yeti to go change his clothes. Yeah, he sucked. Wherever he is, I hope he's dead. Tell me about that story.
- [23:32]
A
I can't believe there's a grown man pissing himself.
- [23:34]
B
Yeah, it's great.
- [23:37]
A
Skating was a big part of your life growing up. Tell me about skating.
- [23:41]
B
So growing up in Waldorf, there was a fun skate scene down there. There was these two brothers, the Eckler brothers.
- [23:46]
A
Gordon.
- [23:46]
B
Greg Gordon was incredible. Gordon was. He was a guy that you're like, who was the kid in the sandlot that made it to the majors? I can't remember the character. Benny. He was our friend. He was our Benny.
- [23:59]
A
Yeah, okay.
- [23:59]
B
He was the guy that you're like, okay, we all love doing this, but Gordon's got it. Like when people probably wax poetic about you doing stand up. Like, we all did stand up, but Sickler had it. That was Gordon. And for whatever reason, he was really cool with me. And Gordon got good. The same way you kind of get good, it's stand up, where you don't just do your hometown open mic. You go to one town over, you do a showcase in another city, a club you've never been to, you leave your echo chamber. Gordon would do that with skate spots. He wouldn't just skate in Waldorf. He would go to, like, Laurel. He would go to Bowling Green, he'd go to D.C. he'd go to Baltimore. And when we were old enough to drive, we started going to where we're at, about a mile from here. Hell, less than a mile. What am I saying? A mile? Like, blocks. Eastern Avenue and there's a place called Charm City Skateboards. Jason Chapman still owns it. Way bigger now, but he had this corner shop, and on weekends, we would all just pile into someone's car, and we would spend the entire weekend in Baltimore, Eastern Avenue, skating the ramp there. There's a couple of parks around here. It was all.
- [25:05]
A
So this is what's insane to me. My cousin who you just met was, you know, born and raised Baltimore. Grew up in Highland Town. He used to swear about this skater right he's telling us there's this guy Ryan, a vert skater. I'm like, oh, yeah, Timmy, there's no skaters in Highland Town.
- [25:20]
B
Oh, dude.
- [25:20]
A
And then I find out about Bucky
- [25:22]
B
Lacey and I'm like the Robin to Tony Hawk. Batman.
- [25:27]
A
Yes. Tony Hawk has called him the best vert skater in the world.
- [25:30]
B
He's one of the vert skaters in the world. There's a second dude around here though. You ever heard of Matt Dove?
- [25:34]
A
No.
- [25:34]
B
Matt Dove is the. He is the best kept secret of Baltimore skating, in my opinion, ever. Rodney Jones, who's still out there, he's still crushing it today. But Matt Dove, Matt Dove, I think in one of the early iterations of the X Games, in all the other skaters opinions had the best trick, but he finished it after time expiration. Matt Dove was a fucking ripper. Matt Dove, if Bucky Lasik was like a level of like almost symphonic elegance. He was like Swedish death metal on a ramp. Yeah, yeah. Both doing the same thing. But the way it was like the ramp said something about his mom.
- [26:13]
A
The way he stated city, Baltimore City. Balt had this thrive. So we used to. Shannon sitting over here off camera, we used to go to. What was it on Sports Elite. It's on Conklin.
- [26:23]
B
Okay, out.
- [26:24]
A
And so it was a premier. We were big soccer players. It was a. It was like a premier soccer store. We would drive from the county to go to this store. But in the back of that store, I'm gonna ask you, do you ever skate? They had a half pipe.
- [26:37]
B
I don't think I did.
- [26:37]
A
I remember that.
- [26:38]
B
No, I don't remember.
- [26:38]
A
At a full half pipe in the back. And kids would go back there.
- [26:41]
B
That's awesome.
- [26:42]
A
And I'm pretty sure Bucky Lasik has skated back.
- [26:44]
B
I promised you.
- [26:45]
A
He did. This was what, 80s, maybe mid-80s.
- [26:48]
B
Yeah, I started my skating in like 1991. 92.
- [26:52]
A
That's what's crazy. Like we're watching this skating. Kids are skating out back of a soccer store. And then. So there's really a quite a scene.
- [26:59]
B
Oh, the huge skate scene there still is in Baltimore. They've got parks now. Yeah. Stephanie, who's helped build all these great skate parks in Hampden. There's one downtown.
- [27:10]
A
Ever go back to McDonald's skateboard and skate that long ass handicap round?
- [27:14]
B
If you bring me back, maybe I will. To talk to the children about the future and broadcast. Okay. Radio and industry with no ceiling. Have me back and I'll teach the kids how to do heel flips. We'll even do a segment called Tricks for Ticks. If I can land a kick flip, I'll give you tickets to shine down. Yeah, no, you couldn't skate anything there because it was in a swamp, but, yeah. No, Baltimore has a thriving skate scene.
- [27:42]
A
You mentioned first sex. You said you had a funny story we're talking about.
- [27:47]
B
Yeah, we're so in. When I went to school, elementary school, I mean, you got to really try and fuck up elementary school. So relatively straight A student. Middle school is when they start to kind of, like, figure out who you are. And for whatever reason, I was tagged as a gifted and talented student. I was not. I might speak fast, but I am. I'm dumb. I'm a dumb man. I am a dumb man, okay? But they had me with these other kids in this thing called Om. It was first called Olympics of the Mind, and then it was Odyssey of the Mind. And they would take the smart kids from schools and, like, compete them against each other and.
- [28:25]
A
And what sort of events? Like debates and things?
- [28:28]
B
No, it would be like you had to build these, like, really elaborate Rube Goldberg machines and, like, to complete a task. Or you'd have to, like, build these strange flying contraptions.
- [28:39]
A
Okay.
- [28:40]
B
And then they.
- [28:40]
A
As a group.
- [28:41]
B
As a group. And then you'd also have to have a performance to go along with it, like performance art. But then they take a few of you into another room and they had a thing called spontaneous, where it was a. It was a puzzle that they'd give you. Didn't know what it would be. Where you had to, like, stack up balsa wood in two minutes or less to hold as much weight as possible before the structure gave out. It was a lot of, like, critical thinking things. And I promise this leads to sex, which is weird. So it was me in this team of people, and clearly I was, like, the performer. I was never going to go ahead and do anything, like, with engineering or geometry to build this balsa tower, you know, create this incredible flying contraption that could go from one end of a gymnasium to another and pop a balloon held by a blind kid. But when it came to, like, you know, the interpretive dance, I'm your fucking man. Okay. I'm Greta Garbo. But on the team, there was also this really heavyset Chinese girl. And I'm gonna say she's about 5, 3, buck 90, as my dad would say, well fed. And we have used three levels to the competition. You have Local, then you have State, and then you have World. I never made it to World.
- [29:53]
A
Okay.
- [29:53]
B
But that year in the seventh grade, we made it to state. It was amazing. We made it to state from our county. Then we went and we took all the kids from state. We had a celebration, and we went back to her place, and she's seventh grade also. She's also seventh grade. We're all seventh grade. And her dad was doing pretty well for himself. He had a nice spread. He had, like, a hot tub before anybody had hot tubs. But it was, like, encased in stone. Like, it was. It was like a permanent structure. Nice. Had, like, the pool with the lights and in it and all. And we're having, like, a pizza party, like, into the night, and one by one, like, kids are leaving, and it's just me and, like, her towards the end of it. And at this time, I might weigh 92 pounds. I mean, maybe 92 pounds. I've got spider man swim trunks on. And we're, like, kind of just hanging out in the pool, like, you know, I thought it was really cool the way you built that one helicopter out of pipe cleaners and aluminum foil. I thought the flames. Oh, God, what are you doing? And she just proceeds to just sit on me. She pulled my. My little swim trunks aside and just sat on me, and in seventh grade, put it in.
- [31:07]
A
Ballsy.
- [31:08]
B
I mean, there was no preamble. There was no, like, hey, how's this feeling? Like, hey, you know, really good job out there and performing, you idiot. It was just like, this is what we're doing, and just power back, and it's. Dude, it feels like I've got Jerome Bettis on me. It feels like I've got one bus on me. All right.
- [31:29]
A
Is her parents at the house?
- [31:30]
B
They're inside. They're probably, like, 30 yards away. And the. The lights are down, but you could clearly, like, if you're looking out the window, you're. You're looking at Bob Sapp, like, yeah. And I'm just. I'm just saying, like, I'm being taken. I'm. I'm not mad at it. I'm not like, oh, my God, I'm gonna need a counselor. But this very large Chinese girl, and. Which is probably where I kind of got a very particular. A little bit old Saigon flu. And, yeah, dude, she put it on me, and I don't know, 15, 20 seconds later, and then she just sits back down. I'm just like. So I was thinking just like. I'm like, dude, do you want to talk about what just happened? Because you just. Just clearly put it on me. And how. Also, how can you tell that I lived in a state of permanent turgidity, that it wasn't like she was just grinding around like some, you know, limp
- [32:25]
A
little nothing she must have saw. She just was like, that's mine.
- [32:28]
B
Yeah, the bubbles are really hitting the back of his nuts, bringing it up. Yeah. Well, I hate to see this French fry.
- [32:34]
A
You didn't lose it. She took it.
- [32:36]
B
Yeah, I was like. I think I was about 13 years old. Didn't have sex again until I was 19. Yeah. Didn't have sex again until I was, like, barely. Almost completely out of high school. But, dude, I mean, just it. I just wish. I want to believe her parents were, like, washing dishes in the sink. And, like, she's at it again, Roger. Yeah, she's at it. She took another one. She took another one. Look at him. He has no idea what it's like. It's. I'm telling you, it was like a Great Dane, a Chihuahua.
- [33:04]
A
That is insane, though. Just to pull it aside, bounce back and then done and be like, son,
- [33:07]
B
like, it never happened ever.
- [33:09]
A
Did you talk after that or anything?
- [33:11]
B
I tried.
- [33:11]
A
I don't mean immediately in the pool,
- [33:13]
B
but like, like, like days later at school.
- [33:15]
A
Did you try to get some again?
- [33:16]
B
Never. No. Ever did. And I tried to approach the subject, like, hey, can we. Can we talk about the. The hot tub the other night? I'm thinking next year for the competition, it involves dominoes and electrodes, and you need to have domino's fall in such a way to have two negative and positive ions touch the cable to light up the light bulb. We can maybe do something to the hits of the 40s and 50s. I'm like, you, me didn't ask. Not mad, but I would like to discuss it.
- [33:41]
A
You definitely at least shouldn't be able to talk.
- [33:44]
B
Could we at least just bring this up? This. Did this did happen?
- [33:47]
A
Dude, that's wild.
- [33:50]
B
There's certain days I wonder if I, like, fucking hallucinated it. But no, it happened. I could still feel my bottom three discs compressing as fucking Siragusa. Just dropped it on. Just displacing water, dude. I remember the water sloshing over the edge of the hot tub. Splashing, splashing. It's my own little guy, the little Peter Parker. He did a little Peter Parker out of it.
- [34:14]
A
Spider man trunk.
- [34:15]
B
Yeah. Just pulled him aside, man.
- [34:17]
A
Oh, brother, this was great. Thank you so much for doing this so much, brother.
- [34:20]
B
I really appreciate it catching up with
- [34:22]
A
you right here one more time. Promote everything you'd like, please.
- [34:25]
B
Yes, if you would please justin.98rock on Instagram the Specials on YouTube. Please share it, enjoy it, like it, comment on it, helps with the algorithm. It's called Chaos Theory. The last name is S C H L E G E L. Just look at the description on the video. That's how you spell it. 98online.com if you live in Baltimore, you know what's up. 97.9 FM. Stream us on the 98 Rock mobile app and patreon.com the DLP agenda. It's like my radio show but with no language restrictions. You know what this guy's is about. Take that but not as good. So appreciate it.
- [35:00]
A
Thank you brother. As always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Go watch his special and make sure you subscribe to the Patreon to watch the rest of the Junkyard series on our Patreon. Talk to you all next week. I hope you enjoyed the Way Back the Baltimore Junkyard series. Trying something different? Why not? We've got the ability to go do it. Why sit here and do the same thing all the time? So I hope you guys are enjoying it and if you are, throw a comment in there, let me know and we'll keep on doing it. Sam.