119: Ali Siddiq | The Wayback with Ryan Sickler #119 | Full Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Wayback with Ryan Sickler

Episode 119: Ali Siddiq | April 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode of The Wayback, host Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Ali Siddiq for his third appearance—the first-ever “three-peat” guest on the show. The conversation is a warm, funny, and deeply nostalgic ride through Ali’s childhood, parenting philosophies, recent milestones, and the quirky details of growing up. Themes of growth, generational change, self-reinvention, and the power of community run throughout, with both introspective moments and irreverent humor.

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Main Topics & Discussion Points

1. Ali’s Career Momentum and Self-Made Success

• Early shoutouts (03:22): Ryan praises Ali for his independent hustle, comparing notes on self-producing tours and specials:
  • “I watch what you do… also pay attention to your business acumen… you’re fucking killing it. It’s nice to have somebody out there doing this as a fucking North Star.” (Ryan, 03:22)
• Helping Others in Comedy:
  • “It’s a gift and a curse. The gift is you help Ryan, you help Sydney, you try to relaunch Patrice…” (Ali, 04:38)
  • Downside: Now everyone sends him their comedy specials hoping for help.

2. Joining Omega Psi Phi in His 50s

• Going back to college (06:09):
  • Ali explains he was always drawn to Omega Psi Phi, went back for business courses (age 51), and pledged online.
  • “I always wanted to be an Omega… I went back to school… I’m 51.” (Ali, 06:20)
• Pledging Stories (07:30):
  • Shares stories of hazing trials:
    • “Just think about this same thing, but just taking your phone. So you’re back to the 90s.” (Ali, 07:49)
  • Intergenerational brotherhood: George Clinton and Anthony Anderson also joined as older men.
  • Reason for pledging later in life:
    • “Sometimes, you get somebody pregnant, then you don’t have time to pledge. You pledge fatherhood…” (Ali, 09:45)
    • “Like me and getting a Corvette. You couldn’t get it when you were 18, get it now.” (Ali, 09:53)

3. Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics

• Food and Home Comparisons (11:32):
  • Instead of feeling deprived, young Ali discovers his family “lived better” than others:
    • “Mine is a little reversed… I was like, nah, this ain’t really how we living over here…” (Ali, 12:00)
  • Hilarious food traditions:
    • “Stepdad would put ketchup in ground beef… this is not Manwich!” (Ali, 13:39)
• Chores and House Rules:
  • Adult perspective: The sense in chores (“Now that I think about it, it made perfect sense.” (Ali, 14:14)) and how growing up influences his view of tidiness and weird habits (e.g., opening chips from the side).
• Table Manners:
  • Not finishing dinner meant it became breakfast:
    • “If I didn’t finish something, that’s breakfast… this liver is crazy for breakfast.” (Ali, 15:57)

4. Fear & Safety—Then and Now

• Fear of the Dark (16:33):
  • “The dark… I’m like that now. If I come home and there’s nobody at my house… it’s going to be a long night.” (Ali, 17:55)
  • Discussion on noises in empty houses and childhood anxieties.
• Robbery Story – Real-life Trauma:
  • Ali recounts being kidnapped, duct-taped, and left in the trunk of his own car (19:05).
  • “I got duct-taped and thrown in the trunk… in my own car.” (Ali, 20:11)
  • Offers safety tip: Take your time if someone’s peeling duct tape off your face. (Ali, 20:18)

5. Crushes, Growing Up Awkward, and Unexpected Glow-Ups

• Past Crushes & “Growing Into” His Face:
  • “My eyes and teeth was too big. I just grew into this face.” (Ali, 21:10)
  • The girls who ignored him then are interested now—except Rosalind, “still don’t give me the time of day.” (Ali, 23:17)

6. Parenting—Old School, New School

• Becoming Like Your Parents:
  • Admits to spitting on a napkin to clean his daughter’s face, swore he’d never do it as a kid (24:09).
  • “I said I would never do that… but I just did it.” (Ali, 24:20)
• Discipline and the “Baby of the Family”:
  • Youngest daughter (age 5) is spoiled compared to his older children (up to 32):
    • “She gets away with absolute murder… I just put her in the truck with me… everybody’s against us.” (Ali, 26:09)
• Would He Want His Kids to Meet Young Ali?
  • “No way. Like I tell my son, I would beat him up so many times… I would have knocked you out.” (Ali, 27:02)
• Punishments:
  • All groundings were awful; always opted for a quick “whooping” over being grounded and missing out (27:23).
    • “Let me get that whooping… grounding was terrible.” (Ali, 27:38)

7. School Memories: Detention & “Sack”

• In-School Suspension:
  • “Sack”—in-school suspension was far worse than being sent home (28:38).
  • Had to carry all books, couldn’t access his locker. Stayed in so long “you start coming to school with hospital scrubs…” (Ali, 29:27)

8. Embarrassing Family Stories and Travel

• Slipping in Greece:
  • Tells the story of an epic fall on a slick hill in Greece, which his kids will never let him forget (30:26).
• Family Vacations:
  • No regular family trips growing up—just going to stay with relatives. Describes adventures at Liberty Land amusement park in Memphis (31:46).
• Mother’s Heroics:
  • Best memory: His mom saving someone during a seizure using his hair pick at Liberty Land (32:47).
    • “My mom took my pick out my head and used the round part to hold his tongue down.” (Ali, 32:46)

9. Handling Emergencies as an Adult

• Disappointment in Men’s Emergency Responses:
  • Ali describes how, during health emergencies at comedy shows, men tend to panic or get in the way, while women take action (33:28).
  • “I’m very disappointed in men a lot of times… I’m like, you’re hovering over your wife and I’m watching the EMTs come down but can't get to her…” (Ali, 34:06)
• Anecdotes from Comedy Clubs:
  • Recalls saving a server during a seizure at the Hartford Funny Bone before going on stage (37:03).

10. The Meanest Adult – Grandma Stories

• Grandmothers:
  • Dad’s mom was “mean,” Mom’s mom was “drunk mean” but not physically abusive (38:41).
  • A classic story: Grandma threatens to drown Ali when he tries to refill her Coke.
    • “‘Put my goddamn cup down before I drown your ass.’ … I was willing to risk death as a child than to be hugged by this lady.” (Ali, 40:08)

11. Pop Culture Shoutouts

• Favorite Comedies (“Life,” “Juanna Mann”):
  • Both hosts reminisce about classic films—especially the underappreciated “Life.” (41:22–41:34)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Making It in Comedy:
  • “You should be teaching a course on what you’re doing as a personality on YouTube…” (Ryan, 06:48)
• On Parenting vs. Grandparenting:
  • “My grandmother was an enabler… Now with my last kid, I’m that person.” (Ali, 24:37)
• On Choosing Whoopings Over Grounding:
  • “Whooping’s gonna be over quick… grounding was terrible…” (Ali, 27:41)
• On Childhood Awareness:
  • “My childhood is definitely better than this.” (Ali, 12:35)
• On His Grandmother:
  • “Put my goddamn cup down before I drown your ass.” (Ali, 40:08)
• Relatable Parent Moment:
  • “I thought I was never gonna do that, but I just did it…” (wiping his daughter's face with saliva) (Ali, 24:20)

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Key Timestamps

• Ali’s Self-Made Comedy Success: 03:22–04:38
• Fraternity & College Return Stories: 06:09–10:37
• Comparing Childhoods, Food Memories: 11:32–13:39
• Parenting Rules and Adult Reflections: 14:14–16:06
• Fears, Robbery Story: 16:33–20:11
• School Days and ‘Sack’: 28:38–29:48
• Travel Memories & Mom’s Heroic Story: 31:46–33:11
• Comic Takes on Emergency Situations: 33:28–38:05
• Grandmothers & Generational Toughness: 38:41–41:08

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Tone & Style

The episode is a blend of humor, humility, and honest reflection, with both hosts bantering in a relaxed, peer-to-peer mode. Both reverently and irreverently, they examine the funny, strange, and formative parts of growing up and what it means to be an adult, a parent, and a part of a larger community.

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Listen to Ali Siddiq on tour, check out his specials, and follow Ryan Sickler for more episodes that dig into the way back!

Ali links: alisiddiq.com and Ali S Comedy on YouTube
Ryan links: ryansickler.com

(Skip the ads, stick with the stories!)

Transcript

[A]

K Pop Demon Hunters Saja Boy's Breakfast Meal and Hunt Trick's meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day.

[B]

It is an honor to share.

[A]

No, it's our honor.

[B]

It is our larger honor. No, really, stop.

[A]

You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side.

[B]

Ba da ba ba ba and participate in McDonald's while supplies last.

[A]

Buffalo, New York I'm headed your way. I'll see you guys. Friday, April 24 and Saturday, April 25 hey guys. Exciting announcement. We are doing a live Way Back at the Netflix is a joke festival. It's Monday, May 5th at 7pm at the Hotel Cafe Main Stage. It's our first live ever way back. We're gonna have a special guest. We're gonna have prizes, gifts. We're gonna do some fun stuff with you guys as well. So get your tickets now for the Netflix is a Joke fe way back Monday, May 5, 7pm at the hotel Cafe. All tickets on my [e-mail] hey guys, we have a new segment on the way back called after the beep. We got a new landline and an old school answer machine and we want to hear from you. Call 323-452-3732 and leave a message. Hit us with things like craziest high school moment, worst job, dumbest injury, worst trouble. Maybe something you got away with or maybe you're looking for some old school advice on relationships, jobs even. Am I the asshole or keep it quick confessions, weird habits. The worst advice you ever got. We'll play him back and react. Keep it under 60 seconds. Anything longer than that, we ain't listening. All right, full segments are only available on Patreon, so give us a ring 323-452-3732 and leave a message after the beat. Hey baby, we're gonna be here all day. We're gonna be here all day, baby.

[B]

I like that kind of party.

[A]

Welcome back to the way Back. Everybody. Ryan Sickler here. Thank you guys for supporting this show. Very excited to do this show. I love diggin to people's past. You got to watch this one and come check me out on the road if I'm in your town when you're around. [e-mail] Very excited to have this guest back here with me. First three peak Guest on the Way Back. Ali Sediq, everybody. Welcome back to the Way Back.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

I'm back right there. Before we talk about anything, promote everything and anything you'd like my two sons

[B]

about, I think we about 12 million at this point. Nominated for NAACP Image Awards. Rugged is out there. I think that's eight months ago. Rugged's out there. Then I just dropped Mondays touring, you know, just. I don't even know how many cities. I just know we got a long time to go. Like, you're everywhere.

[A]

Look, I just want to give you props because I watch what you do. I study the game. I'm also out there self funding, self producing, doing all this stuff on my own, finding the camera people, the venues, the. The budgets, the lights, all that. I'm out there doing that too. And yeah, I was at. I was at what was. We were at 200, 000 in two days. And I was like, okay, finally, the last one was at 500, 000 after a month, so. Which is good for me. And then they pulled the plug on that one. So I watch what you do, and the numbers are astronomical. I see that you get no love from the streamers. I see what you're also doing because Tom Segura is a guy to help me out. So I'm watching you pull up guys like Ryan Davis. I also pay attention to your. Your business acumen, and I see the Patrice o' Neill and what you did with that and how you're also helping other comedians. You could very easily be like, no, I got 20 million on it. What am I. I don't need to help. But you're not. And I admire that about you. I commend you for it. And also, just like, you're fucking killing it. It's nice to have somebody out there doing this as a. As a fucking North Star.

[B]

It's a gift and a curse.

[A]

I hear you.

[B]

The gift is, you know, you find a Marcus D. Wiley, you know, you. You help Ryan, you help Sydney, you try to relaunch Patrice, and you find other people. But then it's the. The worst thing is that people start sending you specials.

[A]

And think of this part. You're getting every kind of.

[B]

It's. It's like, oh, I didn't think about all the solicitors. Oh, now I understand the industry.

[A]

Now I see why. Real quick, though, also, did you just join a frat, or have you always been in a frat?

[B]

In April.

[A]

In April, you did. I ran into what I think are some of your Brothers at the Ravens game when I was there. The tail goat you got, are they purple and yellow?

[B]

Purple and gold.

[A]

Gold, Yeah. I say yellow, but yeah. Let me see. Let me see. This was them. I said, you guys know Ali Sneak? And one of them came in the back is. Oh, he just joined. He just joined. I joined. He said, wait, how can you be

[B]

Omega Sci Fi Fraternity Incorporated?

[A]

Are you a. Like, honorary?

[B]

Oh, no, I play it back in the day. I play.

[A]

As when you were younger?

[B]

No, I play.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. So you're still allowed. It's not a college thing. And once college is over, you get what.

[B]

I went to college.

[A]

Right. But I'm saying you don't have to do it.

[B]

I went back to school.

[A]

Oh, you did? Yeah. Tell us the. Hold on. Tell this story.

[B]

Went back to school.

[A]

You Rodney Dangerfield? This.

[B]

Yeah. Yes. Back to school.

[A]

Okay. Where'd you go, man?

[B]

I went to college. Texas University. That's the whole thing.

[A]

When. How old were you? This is recent.

[B]

I am 51.

[A]

Wait, you went to the. Like, you went on campus and.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Online. You can go online. You know, school is. School is spectacular.

[A]

And what made you want to be that?

[B]

I've always wanted to be on Omega, so. But when you go back to school, you know, I need to get extra credits, you know, so.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. What do you. So you went to school to be this? Not for.

[B]

I went to school for business.

[A]

Okay. You did?

[B]

Yeah. You know, I had to go back. You should be teaching it business.

[A]

You should be. Listen to me. You should be teaching a course on what you are doing as a personality on this platform called YouTube. You should be teaching it. You should be teaching it. Who else could look at the fucking numbers? Don't lie.

[B]

I think. I think my team. I would have a lot of guest speakers as far as team is concerned. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So you go back. What'd you have to do to pledge? You allowed to talk about it? Did they make you do crazy shit, or were you, like, how you doing? I had some dudes in college. They were doing wild shit, man. One wild one. I can tell you this one is they were in West Virginia.

[B]

It's still the same, is it? Whatever. The wild.

[A]

They blindfolded, like, five of these dudes, drove them out into the middle of nowhere in West Virginia and just fucking took the blindfolds off and said, see you later, and just left them. This is in the 90s. There's no cell phones and GPS. This is just which way do you think we should go? And then you gotta walk, hopefully the right way.

[B]

So just think about this same thing, but just taking your phone. So you're back to the 90s.

[A]

And are you doing this shit with guys in their 20s and shit?

[B]

My lbs, all my lbs.

[A]

Are you the oldest pledge?

[B]

Yeah. Not in history, no.

[A]

But when you're at your time, they on my line.

[B]

On my line.

[A]

How many people are doing it?

[B]

It's other five of us.

[A]

Five years.

[B]

It's six total. It's five years.

[A]

You're their blue from old school.

[B]

Actually, I'm the tail. I mean, I'm the ace.

[A]

What's that mean?

[B]

I'm the front. I'm in the front. I'm the first one. Everybody was taller and bigger.

[A]

Nah.

[B]

Yeah, all them kids was taller, but they drinking all type of different steroid milk.

[A]

Steroid milk. Everybody, Ali, everyone I know from childhood that got big drank milk. Every one of my friends that's tall drank milk.

[B]

I drank milk, I ate cereal, drank the milk, all that. But these kids is different. Yeah, it's a different. It's a different. It's like drinking milk with insure in it. I don't know what they're doing.

[A]

All right, so now, now you're. Now you're a member. What do you. What do you get to do?

[B]

George Clinton came in like two years before me.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

George Clinton?

[A]

He's in from P. Funk is in there.

[B]

Yeah. He's Omega DL.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Anthony Anderson.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They came in two years before me. They are definitely older.

[A]

All right, so they went older too.

[B]

Yeah. You know, it's. Then the line after me was. I know what? 80% of them was older than me.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why do people still want to do this, do you think, man?

[B]

Because especially when you desire to do it early on and then something just may have happened. You may not had omegas on your campus at that time, or they may have been off campus at that time.

[A]

I see.

[B]

Or you may have been, you know, sometimes you. In college and then you get somebody pregnant, then you don't have time to pledge. You have to pledge fatherhood. You know, it's abundance of things that happen to where you didn't get a chance to do what you wanted to do when you were younger. Same way like me and get a Corvette. You couldn't get it when you was 18. Get it now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And drive fast as possible. And now you can pay the ticket.

[A]

Yeah. Now you can afford it.

[B]

Yeah. Like I got a fast, I got a Fast car that if. If I get stopped, I got a. A reason. But I don't know if it's gonna work. But it's definitely gonna come out. Come out my face. I'm definitely gonna say it. Hey, man, when am I supposed to open this car up, if not now?

[A]

I was gonna say, Mr. Sneak open this door up. You know? Now they're doing that now. 100 miles an hour is like, a big deal, you doing this.

[B]

It's always been a big deal.

[A]

Yeah, they would. Reckless drive, whatever. There he is. Look at him. I'm telling you, I met a bunch of brothers in Baltimore at the show.

[B]

That was the day of.

[A]

That was the day you're pledging?

[B]

Yeah, that was the day of. That was the day we crossed.

[A]

And where is that? Where did you do it?

[B]

In Houston. Houston. He clearly looks older than me. He does, but he's not. But he looks older than me. He's like, maybe 38, 40 at the most. And I'm clearly 51 with a. But he has on a T shirt. I have on a T shirt with a dress shirt on under. You know, I'm very distinguished.

[A]

Look at you. Give me a first memory or early memory where you. Where you finally were like, oh, man, this is not how my childhood is. Like, for me, for example, I would go spend the night at somebody's house, and I'd be like, man, y' all get hugs over here. Y' all get cereal and chips. Like, when you realized. When you finally realized, like, oh, shit, the way everybody else lives is not the way it's going on at my place.

[B]

No, mine is a little reversed.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I went over my cousin's house, and I was like, nah, this ain't really how we living over here. They drank some weird, like, you know how the Nestle chocolate milk.

[A]

Yeah. Powder.

[B]

They would put that in, like, hot water and put it in the refrigerator. It was some drink that they have psyched theyself into. That's delicious. I was like, nah, nah. You're supposed to add milk. It says it right here on the thing. Milk. No, my childhood is definitely better than this.

[A]

That is the reverse.

[B]

And they like, are you. I'm like, why is anybody drinking this? They have Jedi mind drink, they stuff. And this is delicious.

[A]

I was like, well, when you don't taste anything anywhere else, it. Until that's when they come to your house and be like, oh, my God.

[B]

Hey, y' all put milk in y' all messes. Yes, that's what it's supposed to be in there.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It was crazy.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

You know. You know the. The chocolate syrup that you would put on the top of ice cream?

[A]

Yeah. Her cheese. Oh, oh, the.

[B]

Yes, the free.

[A]

I know exactly. This shit right here.

[B]

This is not supposed to be drank. You supposed to.

[A]

That's what they're putting the hard drink.

[B]

You supposed to use this on ice cream. This is not a drink I like. They are insane drinking this.

[A]

Disgusting.

[B]

And it's like. They were. It was like with every meal they was serving. I just had water. I just had water. I'm good with water. I don't know. It. It's kind. It kind of goes back in my

[A]

life if I heard that one.

[B]

It kind of goes back to when my. My stepdad would put ketchup and ground beef. This is not Manwich. I don't care. What do you mean?

[A]

Like, he would just make some ground beef.

[B]

Ground beef. And put ketchup in it and mix it and put some onions in it. Like, this is not Manwich. I know what man. Which tastes like.

[A]

Yeah, that's poor man's meatloaf he's trying to make over there.

[B]

I don't know what he had going on.

[A]

All right, let's ask you. Did you have rules in your house that made the least sense to you, even now as you're cooking? Like, why do we have to do that?

[B]

My mom pretty much made sense, like, all, like. Cause I can think of them now. I can't even go back to when I was a kid and thinking that it didn't make sense, because now that I think about it, it made perfect sense.

[A]

What was shit that you had to do? Did you have any chores where this was your job?

[B]

I won't even. I'm telling you, as an adult, you understand chores on a different level. When you have someone that does not do chores that's around you, you know what I'm saying? Namely somebody who you married to that don't do chores, and you was like, oh, okay, psychopath. Like that.

[A]

Like, you ever hang out with somebody and then you just look there at your place or whatever, and you're like. You don't close the cabinets. That's a wild one to me. You just leave that cabinet open. That ain't how you found it.

[B]

Let me tell you the craziest thing in the world. People who open things from the side.

[A]

Give me an example. Like, the side.

[B]

Like, chips. Like, not. Not at the top. So you. You don't never want to close them. Like, are you eating this party bag

[A]

of Chips horizontal

[B]

like you. So you open a row of crackers down the side.

[A]

Is interesting.

[B]

It is like you had no intention on rolling these back, eating all these. Yeah, it's crazy.

[A]

That is funny.

[B]

My dad, my. My dad really didn't even. He. He didn't have rules like that, you know. But my mom. Nah, that was. That made sense too. You had to clean up before you can go outside.

[A]

Did you have to like. Did you have to eat all your dinner? You had to clean a plate that. Where you couldn't get up or you're eating it in the morning or any of that? Were they like that with food?

[B]

Oh yeah. If I didn't finish something, that's. That's breakfast.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like you like. Hey man, this liver is crazy for breakfast.

[A]

Spinach liver.

[B]

Like you just you in green beans and leftover liver for breakfast. Wow. Fresh green beans. Didn't have these last night. Yeah. Where were these? Didn't have these last night. But this liver is definitely from yesterday.

[A]

Oh,

[B]

I didn't like it yesterday. What made you think I like it now?

[A]

Oh, how about anything you were scared of as a kid? Were you scared of scary movies?

[B]

The dark. Yeah, the dark period. But I'm like that now.

[A]

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[B]

Okay. Like if I come home and there's nobody at my House. Yeah. This is gonna be a long. Gonna be a long night. I'm asleep with something in the bed.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Cause I'm not used to being at home by myself. So it's always some activity at my house. If I pull up to that house and it's just all dark. Oh, no, somebody's definitely in there. Even though I tapped the alarm and it's definitely.

[A]

Somebody's still in there.

[B]

An intruder in there.

[A]

I'm with it. I'm with you on that too.

[B]

Cause especially when you're not used to being in the house by yourself. When's the last time you was in the house by yourself? Just told it by yourself, period. And nobody's coming home.

[A]

Well, it's just me and my daughter.

[B]

So.

[A]

A lot half the time your daughter just leave. I co parent with her mom. So she goes to her mom's half the time and I get her half the time.

[B]

And then the days that she gone,

[A]

you see just me and the dog. Yeah.

[B]

Just imagine that dog is not there.

[A]

Listen, I'm not scared, but I will say this. I definitely hear noises I don't normally hear. There's always a loud bang where I'm like, was that.

[B]

Cause it makes sense if somebody's in the house, but it don't make sense.

[A]

Did you ever get robbed as a kid? Did you ever have a home invasion or anything like that?

[B]

We had a robbery. Somebody came in and stole something, but it wasn't. No, I've had a robbery. As a street pharmaceutical rep. I've had a robbery.

[A]

Street pharmaceutical?

[B]

Yeah. You know, that was a different type of robbery. How'd they get you it bad. It was bad. I talked about it on.

[A]

Was this the one where you had the drugs out? They took them?

[B]

No, this is one when I got thrown in the trunk, I got duct taped and thrown in the trunk.

[A]

You talked about that on one of these podcasts. Yeah.

[B]

No, on. On a special, I was gonna say, what do you think that's on Domino.

[A]

They grabbed you and threw you in the trunk and duct taped your ass?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For how long you in there?

[B]

Until they found me.

[A]

Oh, they left you in there? Oh, they weren't driving you and taking you?

[B]

Oh, they left me in there.

[A]

Oh, shit. How long? Do you know how long?

[B]

It was a while. Because the whole time I was in it. What I was mad about was earlier that day, I had moved the tire. It was a Monte Carlo. I moved the tire. And I didn't put that tire back. I said, I'll do it later. Now I'm in there on the tire. This is in my trunk. Like they put me in my car.

[A]

In your own car?

[B]

Yeah. And left me and you couldn't kick

[A]

the seats out or anything like that or were you just scared I was.

[B]

Duct tape. Oh.

[A]

Feet, legs, everything.

[B]

Eyes, everything. That's why my eyebrows are like naturally internally arched. Just a tip out there for children. If you ever have duct tape on your face and somebody's peeling it off, just take your time.

[A]

Take your time, take your time.

[B]

Say that.

[A]

Traumatize me any more than I'm already traumatized. What about was there this one I like too? Like was there someone back in the day you liked that maybe had a crush on or some somebody were trying to press and now you're like oh them.

[B]

Oh man, so many girls. It was so many girls I like back then. Girls was really.

[A]

But wouldn't give you time of day.

[B]

Oh no, my eyes are too big.

[A]

Yeah, my eyes were too big.

[B]

Yeah, eyes and teeth was too big. I just grew into this face. Like I just got here. You know they look decent now, but they was way bigger when I was. When I was a kid. You know that it's like yo my. It's. It was crazy.

[A]

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[B]

It was really great when I look back on them like yeah, I did have on some binoculars.

[A]

Have any of Those girls reached out later. I mean, or anything like that.

[B]

All them girls like me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now all of them like me. With no cosmetic surgery, no financial surgery. Changes a lot of things. You know what I'm saying? And they liked me back then when I was a street pharmaceutical rep, because I was really rolling. As I got older, I've looked a lot different. But it was this one girl, Rosalynn. Rosalind. Rosalynn was.

[A]

That's a name you don't hear much anymore.

[B]

Rosalind was awesome. And Rosalind is still awesome. And she still don't give me the time of day.

[A]

Really.

[B]

And she married some athlete type dude. He's definitely. He's definitely out doing crunches right now,

[A]

taking care of himself and shit. That's Motherfucker.

[B]

All in the sparring. Ridiculous.

[A]

Is there anything your parents did, as a parent that you swore you'd never do? Like, one for me, for an example, was my mom used to fucking spit on a napkin and then wipe your face. And we'd be like, get the. Oh.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Your mom was that. We've never done that.

[B]

Your mom was really nice. She spit on a napkin. It was the napkin. Wow.

[A]

Or lick her thumb and do this. Get that one. I thought you meant she was gonna poo on your face like that. My mom looked right on her thumb a lot too.

[B]

Clean your whole face with a saliva thumb. And I thought I was never gonna do it, but I just did it. Like. Did you? Yeah, I was dropping my daughter off at school. I was like, ah, you got yogurt on your face.

[A]

Ah.

[B]

You know, like, I just did it. Like, it's crazy. And I said. I swore I would never do that. I swore I would never. Like, I never said, oh, I never spanked my kids. Cause I realized that I needed some of them spankings. Like, I was.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I was a wow man. And. But now, okay, this what I said I would never be. Like, my grandmother. Cause my grandmother was like an enabler. Like, she was like, oh, her sons would never do anything. Now, with my last kid. Oh, my older kid is definitely gonna beat up when. When she dies.

[A]

What's the youngest?

[B]

Five.

[A]

Five. And what's the oldest?

[B]

27? 32.

[A]

32.

[B]

Yeah. So she gets away with absolute murder. Like, it's like. It's like. It's like I have a reason why she's doing anything. Like, don't do that. Oh, come on now. What else you think she gonna do? I never was that person. I used to wear my other kids out. Cause I'm like, Yo, I need you to be structured. But this one, I'm like, man, I don't care. Come on. Like, she'll do something. I just put it in the truck with me. Come on, let's go somewhere. And I explained to her, everybody's against us.

[A]

She the one that wants the Bentley.

[B]

That's the one that. We got it.

[A]

Yeah, you got it. That's right.

[B]

Yeah. She's the like, I got a brand new truck, right? Brand new.

[A]

What kind?

[B]

Escalade. A new Escalade.

[A]

A new Escalade.

[B]

I had a 24 and I got a 26, and the doors open by itself. And it's excellent, right? She's the only one that has been in that truck.

[A]

Nuh.

[B]

Like, I'm like, I vow they can never get in my truck. I'm not having it. Then I put her car seat in the back. In the very back. And we just leave together. Like, yo. And I explained to her why it's just us against the rest of the family.

[A]

The family, not the world.

[B]

I'm like, hey, look, the family. I just look back at that. Hey, you know, it's just us, right? It's just me and you. We gotta stick together. The oldest and the youngest, we gotta stick together.

[A]

This is a question I wanted to ask you. What? Is there a version of you as a kid you wish your kids could meet? Like, 10 year old Ali, 12 year old Ali. If y' all saw me back then, you know what I mean?

[B]

No way. No, I'm talking about. I would. Like I tell my son, I would beat him up so many times.

[A]

If you were to say, if I

[B]

was 10 years old, like, I'd have dusted you, kid. I like this. Just the fact that you. No accountability. You don't, you know, you don't do chores. You got. You have stuff. I would have knocked you out.

[A]

Like, what's the worst. Did you ever get grounded or punished or anything like that? What's the worst one?

[B]

All of them.

[A]

What's the longest? Or like, what'd you do that?

[B]

We were like, you don't understand. All of the groundings were terrible. I'm talking to the point where when my mom would give us a choice. Do you want a whooping or be grounded? Ah, let me get that.

[A]

How long is the grounded.

[B]

Let me get that whooping.

[A]

I'll take it too. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Whooping's gonna be over quick, and it's gonna be, hey, you only. You gonna get tired.

[A]

Do I get to go out tomorrow?

[B]

Yes. For sure.

[A]

Yeah. So I'M gonna take my sore ass out that grounding.

[B]

My mom would do something. It was like. It was diabolical. Cause my window, I could see outside. It's right where everybody play it. So it's like she would make me keep the window closed, but I could hear everybody playing, having fun. And then people come knock on the window and be like, yo, Lee, we out here, man. Like, I'm in prison. And it would be. Man, grinding was terrible. Cause it was. And my sister would be outside playing, and she would come in, be like, everybody asking about you.

[A]

Yeah. They all want to know where you are. And you just inside here, you know.

[B]

Okay. In school suspension, did you add that in your school?

[A]

Oh, hell yeah.

[B]

Like, it was called sack. Would you rather be suspended and not at school or be in Sack?

[A]

I mean, I'd rather be suspended, not at school.

[B]

That's what made Sack. Oh, I'm talking. It made it awful. Because you could hear the fun that was happening at lunchtime. And you just in a room, trying not to fall asleep. They give you another day. And it's always the coaches of the team and coach want to come in there and say, see? See what happens?

[A]

That's what they would do. They would do us. They make us go to the library on purpose. Because that's where you'd be bored. You would fall asleep. You get another day for that shit. You'd be fighting to stay awake in that damn library.

[B]

And you'll mess around and be in sick. You went in there for two days. Now you've been in there 28 days.

[A]

28 days.

[B]

People know you in sex. You start coming to school with hospital scrubs on you, not even wearing no outfits. You just, yo, he must be in sack. You got. And you had to have all your books. Like, they'd check you out your locker. You couldn't have no locker. Like, that's. You know.

[A]

Is that the way they did you guys?

[B]

Oh, man. You had to.

[A]

You had to carry them all, huh? All your class to class, or you just sleep in that room, but you

[B]

had to take all of them home.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

And then bring all of them back. Ah, it was. Man, Sack was awful.

[A]

What about. Let me ask you this. Is there a family story that your kids are definitely gonna tell as you get older? It's, like, embarrassing for you.

[B]

What's crazy, it may seem embarrassing, but we was in a place that was. We was in Greece. So I embarrassed. I slipped and, you know, Greece got a lot of heels. And. And I'm talking about you Talking about what is bobsledding with your body up against concrete?

[A]

You fell on concrete.

[B]

It's like the little pave. It was. It was damp outside. It was like the morning dew. And I'm walking too aggressive and slipped and it was. It's like I'm in the middle, so there's nothing to grab onto. And it's like all the way down the hill. And I just sit there. I just sit at the bottom like I'm waiting. Yes, right this right here. That's where you're going down this right here. But it's a smooth. Like we was coming out of the hotel. And you know what's crazy is it looks like that.

[A]

Is that right? For real?

[B]

That's not like a play picture. That is the real situation.

[A]

So let me ask you this then. You're taking your kids and stuff here. Were you going? Did you do vacations as a kid? Did your dad or mom take you anywhere?

[B]

You know, when I think about it, nothing. We just went like you drive anywhere.

[A]

Like we go to this place every year or something.

[B]

Camp, you know. That's why I always liked that movie. Movie National Lampoons Vacation. Yeah, we didn't. We didn't do that. My mom. We would send us to live with our family. We. When we going, we're going.

[A]

I remember you did say that.

[B]

Yeah, it's no like, hey, let's go to Liberty Land. You know, I went to Liberty Land as a kid.

[A]

Was Liberty Land.

[B]

It was a spot spot in Memphis.

[A]

In Memphis, Tennessee. Liberty Land.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Liberty Land's closed now.

[A]

Also a little amusement park here. Look at it.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

1983. Matt, what are your memories of this place? Do you have a favorite ride?

[B]

You know what's crazy? My mom. My. My favorite my is. And this is crazy memory too. My mom had came up and we had went to Liberty Land. But we. I was already staying in Mississippi with my. With my aunt. My mama came to visit and we all went to Liberty Land. And I thought my mom like a superhero, right? This guy, we were waiting on a ride and this guy has a seizure. And at the time I had a pick. I had a little afro. So I had a pick in my hair. And what's crazy, I didn't get the pick with the fist. It was just round, flatter, thin, which. Thank goodness, that. That's the one I had. The dude had a seizure and my mom took my pick on my head and she used the round part and held his tongue down.

[A]

No shit.

[B]

And then like. Like maybe three or four minutes he came because he was foaming at the mouth, and people didn't know what to do. And my mom, like, you know, she had went to nursing school at that time and put the. Held his tongue down, and he was biting down on it. Then next thing you know, he's. He's up. And I. It's like. And I. And this is a story I used to always tell my mom, like, yo, my mom, superhero. You understand?

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

She was, like, thinking. She was, like, real calm. It was. It was. You know, that's one.

[A]

And she was a nurse.

[B]

She was going nursing school.

[A]

I mean, that's the temperament you need from someone like that. Calm thought, you know, thinking, not panicking and freezing.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

It is crazy.

[B]

So when I see people now, like, this has happened to me in shows when somebody will. Something that happened at the show, and it's always. It's really. I'm very disappointed in men a lot of times. Cause it's always the husband that. Yep, that's the pig. You see that round? She held his tongue down.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

I'm a lot times disappointed with men at these shows. That's with their wives. Cause the last three or four times it's happened, it's been a woman who. Something has happened. One lady had a seizure. They just passed out. And the husband is over the lady. And other men are coming, but you're not assisting. And I'm like. And I'm trying to like, hey, can y' all move so the EMTs can get to the person? And the husband is panicking, and it's like. And I'm just sitting there, like, are you serious right now? Like. Like, what is. Like, what is going on that you have no type of temperament? What I don't want. I don't. I don't want you to help me. Cause you're too erratic to help me. Isn't because, you know, we lock up the phones. Unlock this phone. Hey, man, I just want to know this. I just, you know, just. Just for my own brain. When you walked into this theater, did you not walk past them EMTs out there? That's a part of the package that comes with the theater.

[A]

You have to pay for that.

[B]

So. Did you not see the EMTs out there? Did you not see the police out there? Your phone being in this bag is not stopping anything, because all they're coming, sir. I'm watching. You're looking. You're hovering over your wife. And I'm watching the EMTs come down and can't get to the woman because all of y' all are in the way. And I'm constantly saying on the mic, hey, if you don't mind moving out the way, you know, and then, you know, the crowd will be. I was like, no, no, everybody just stay calm. Pay attention to me. I'm a quarterback. This thing. And this one dude, man, he was so disappointing, and they had to grab him, and he was just irate. And then he started talking about it was the drinks in the club. Because that the first time it happens in the club, it's the drinks in the club. I said, and me, I don't like being no jerk. I was like. I said, yeah, that's what we doing. We're poisoning people in here at the comedy show. That's just, you know, just. Just, you know.

[A]

Poisoning people.

[B]

Yeah, just so they pass out. So we can kind of just hold up the show, you know, that's. That's weird. It's the club.

[A]

I mean, I've had. Kirsten will tell you. She's been at my shows on the road, move had people pass out. I had the opposite happen one time in Side Splitters in Tampa. Oh, great club.

[B]

Yeah, great club.

[A]

Apparently. I heard a commotion, but I couldn't tell what was going on. And then quickly it disappeared. So I figured, whatever. They fucking handled it. After the show, I'm told that this lady passed out, and these dudes didn't want to miss the show. They. They fucking. They handed her down the line. They handed the woman passed out down the row, and they took her out to the lobby. They said, we were about to call the paramedics. And I was, like, about to. And they like, she. She was all right. She came back. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about right now?

[B]

Crazy story. Just. You made me just think about it. I am in Hartford, Connecticut, at that Funny bone. I'm in the green room. Green room is really tight. Down this hallway. I hear a crash. I just open the door. The server is on the ground having a seizure.

[A]

Oh, shit.

[B]

Me baby laying, being my mom. Boom. Turn him on his side. Cause now. You just turn him on they side now.

[A]

Yeah, so they don't choke on the tongue.

[B]

Turn him on his side. And I said, hey, y', all, call the paramedics. He's having a seizure. No trip. And maybe about five minutes, paramedics get there. He's sitting up in the thing saying, what happened? And I said, well, you dropped everybody cheese sticks on the ground. And the manager's Like, Ali is definitely insane. Like, he. He just. He saved you.

[A]

Cable 6 is hungry. That's what the fuck.

[B]

He saved you with his death.

[A]

The cheese.

[B]

Oh, my God. Fred, Fred, Fred. Over at. At, At Harford. Connecting Funny bone. To tell anybody that story. Like, that's what he. And then I wasn't on stage yet. I hadn't went on stage and the feature was still up. I was like, okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like. And as I walked out, I was like, so they're taking you out. I'm quite sure you going be back tonight to see the rest of the show. Yeah, it was a good show.

[A]

Who's the adult you were most afraid of and why?

[B]

My grandmother.

[A]

Yeah. Was she the disciplinarian?

[B]

Man, she was just. My. My dad's mom, to me, was mean. Like, my. My mom's mom was like. Like drunk mean.

[A]

Your mom's mom?

[B]

Yeah, she was. She. She drank gin so she would be drunk mean.

[A]

Is that talking shit?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Physical too, or.

[B]

Nah, she was never physical. Just talking about talking crazy. But my. My dad's mom, that was. She was. She. Man, she was rough.

[A]

She was just mean, huh?

[B]

Yeah. I didn't like her when I was little.

[A]

Why? What was it?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I just see the way she treated other people. Were you just like.

[B]

I don't know. When I was little, like, my mom always tells this story. Like, when you was a baby, you wouldn't even let her hold you.

[A]

Oh. Before you even remember,

[B]

he said, this is how much you didn't like this woman, that she would try to hold you and you would just throw your head back and try to follow her own. I was willing to risk death as

[A]

a child than to be hugged by this lady.

[B]

And then as I got. As I got older, I took care of her when she. Me and my cousins and my. Her daughter Georgia took care of her when she had Alzheimer's. Dementia and Alzheimer's. So. And she was mean then. I remember I was.

[A]

It didn't change, huh?

[B]

No, she. It's like I really understood how mean she was because she was eating right. And I brought her a Coke. And then I saw that her. Her cup was empty, so I grabbed her Coke to go give her some more. She grabbed my wrist so hard and said, put my goddamn cup down before I drown your ass. And I was like, yo, when were you drowning full grown men? Like, would you work for the mob or some shit? Like, it just. It just took me back to how mean she was. Do you know how crazy it is for you to grab somebody's wrist that's trying to get you a coat to say, put it down for a drowning.

[A]

Drowning.

[B]

Out of everything that you could have said, drowning.

[A]

Hit your. Smack it. That's a.

[B]

You want some wild. Like, what would you. I want to know what you were doing.

[A]

Yeah, for real.

[B]

The 30s, you were drowning.

[A]

They were drowning people. No doubt. No doubt.

[B]

She knew somebody happened, but she ran a cafe, though. Ain't no telling. You know, some people who didn't pay her, like, take them out.

[A]

Take them out back. Drown there. Drown them. That is a while.

[B]

Just think that was on the movie Life.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

They was about to drown. They was about to drown, Clyde.

[A]

It's one of the most. It's still. It's so underrated.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It came and went way too fast. I feel like it really.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Bernie Mac, Martin, Eddie all. Everybody in there was funny.

[B]

Yeah, it all had.

[A]

Their roles were good. Everybody was.

[B]

I just saw Miguel Nunez in the. In the. In the airport.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Miguel Nunez. He was in that movie.

[A]

Oh, you did?

[B]

Yeah, Joanna, man.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's crazy. That's crazy. He had never. That. That's for always be. All the moves he's done. Everything he's done. Juana man is gonna always stand out.

[A]

You're right. Until you said Juana man. Now as soon as you say it, I'm like, I know exactly who you're talking. He had the hair. He had the little bandana tied up.

[B]

Yeah. You scared, huh? Don't be scared,

[A]

dude. Thank you for doing this. I appreciate you coming back on. As always, congrats again on everything. You fucking. You really are changing the game out there. Good for you. You're doing great right there. Tell him everything you want. Promote it all.

[B]

Oh, this is Alisa Deeq. Go to Alisa Deeq.com. go to Alisa D Comedy on YouTube. All of my tour dates are up. And make sure if you buying tickets to see me either go on my website or go to the venue. Do not go to any of these outside Internet places, because apparently some of y' all can't read. A lady was crying outside the show and said, I bought these tickets from Ticket Mr.

[A]

Ticket Mister.

[B]

I'm like, ah, don't know who ticket Mr. Is, but they wasn't licensed to sell our tickets.

[A]

Oh, that's great. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to y' all next week. Ra.