132: Rafe Williams: We Played Paintball with BB Guns | The Wayback with Ryan Sickler #132

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Wayback with Ryan Sickler

Episode 132: Rafe Williams – “We Played Paintball with BB Guns”
Release Date: July 9, 2026
Guests: Rafe Williams (Comedian)
Highlights: Nostalgia, childhood chaos, BB gun wars, family brawls, and the thrill of being a kid in the ‘80s and ‘90s.

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Overview

This episode of “The Wayback” dives headfirst into a riotous and heartfelt exploration of childhood memories, focusing on the wild, unsupervised fun of growing up in small-town America. Host Ryan Sickler and comedian Rafe Williams swap stories about dangerous games, family adventures, and the chaotic, often absurd, rituals of youth—from BB gun paintball and ghosthunting in abandoned buildings, to mom fights and secret stashes of VHS-era pornography in the woods. Their banter blends rich nostalgia, sharp wit, and an undercurrent of warmth for a time when “dangerous fun” was the main event.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Wayback” Car Seat and Road Trip Memories (00:31–03:30)

• Childhood Car Rides: Rafe recalls riding in the backwards-facing bench seat and in the hatchback of a Dodge Daytona, packed in with friends heading to Kincaid Lake, Illinois. “We would just lay in the hatch…and we’d get sunburned like pajamas. We looked like the Hamburglar.” (Rafe, 02:19)
• Both Ryan and Rafe reminisce about reckless, seatbelt-free trips and how parents crammed as many kids into odd vehicles as possible.

2. Small-Town Summer Hangouts and Lake Adventures (03:36–06:13)

• Local Swimming Holes: Ryan describes “Milford Mill,” a quarry-turned-swimming spot featured in the movie “Crybaby,” where dangerous old-school playground equipment awaited:
  “It was like triple high…you’re shirtless, and it’s scorching your back all the way down.” (Ryan, 04:49)
• Shared nostalgia about rope swings, dangerous slides, and creative hot tub pranks.

3. 'Don’t Wake Daddy' and Trash-Talking Board Games (06:13–08:16)

• Board Games Reflecting Parental Fears: Rafe highlights the culturally ingrained fear of waking up a grumpy dad:
  “The whole premise of the thing was, like, if the dad wakes up, you lose—dad’s gonna beat the sht out of you. The implied thing was, like, if you woke daddy, there were consequences.”* (Rafe, 06:17)
• Discussion of board games teaching anxiety about parental authority and discipline.

4. BB Gun Wars: “White Trash Paintball” (08:18–14:24)

• Unsafe Games: The boys recount their version of paintball—using BB guns and loose “rules” for safety (hit above the chest, face a firing squad):
  “We did not wear goggles or anything like that…it was, you had to try to shoot below the tits. So the nipples were the boundary.” (Rafe, 08:41)
• Weapon upgrades, one-pump rule violations, and engineering “armor” from cookie sheets.
• Injuries were common, including BBs lodged so deep they required surgical removal:
  “Eric got one…in his leg that went in so deep, he had to go to the doctor—they had to cut it out.” (Ryan, 14:11)
• They also discuss escalating with wrist rockets and bottle rocket wars:
  “We would literally go twisted metal style…shooting Roman candles into people’s cars while they’re driving.” (Rafe, 16:28)

5. Paramilitary Play and 'Satanic Panic' Hunting (17:04–19:12)

• DIY Justice: Rafe and friends formed self-styled “Guardian Angels” to battle imaginary satanic cults, inspired by the ‘80s Satanic Panic.
  “We were a paramilitary organization dedicated to justice. Obsessed with devil worshipers...we wanted an adventure.” (Rafe, 17:08)
• Stashed guns, covert missions, and misinterpreted local graffiti led to wild encounters with older kids.

6. Ghosthunting and Urban Legends (24:00–26:41)

• Breaking Into Abandoned Buildings: Ryan and Rafe share their nighttime adventures in haunted hospitals and schools, searching for ghosts and urban legends:
  “When they cured tuberculosis, it's like someone walked in on a Wednesday at 12:30 and said they cured it. Everyone got up and just left.” (Ryan, 24:01)
• “Pre-Ghost Hunters” antics with camcorders and exaggerated storytelling, just for the thrill and a scare.

7. Wood-Porn Stashes and the Economy of Secret Magazines (21:18–23:50)

• Porn in the Woods: They describe the ritual of stealing and stashing Playboys in hollow logs:
  “The longer we keep a lid on this, the more porn we get to enjoy...there was just kids jacking off in the woods.” (Rafe, 22:43)
• Intrigue, betrayal, and neighborhood espionage as magazines slowly vanished, and only the least desired issues (“milky jugs”) remained.

8. Family Fights & Parental Brawls (33:50–42:14)

• Listener Voicemail: Donnie shares a wild memory of his dad being beaten with a wrench by a business partner’s wife—a tale of chaos, confusion, and police intervention. (31:49–33:19)
• Rafe’s Own Family Fight Saga: An escalating series of physical confrontations at school and at home, climaxing in a brawl between his mom and another kid’s (large German) mother: “My mom is just getting worked by this lady, dude. Hand hair in her head…getting your ass beat in another language.” (Rafe, 37:33)
• Rafe poignantly recounts his mother’s tough love in the aftermath: “Sometimes in life bullies don’t learn lessons. The best you can hope for is to survive it and stand up for yourself.” (Rafe, 41:14)
• The “moral victory”: Rafe’s mom nabs the coveted Speak & Spell toy in the chaos, giving it to him as a secret reward: “That ass beating wasn’t for nothing...I had Clayton Wyatt’s Speak & Spell for the rest of my childhood.” (Rafe, 41:58)

9. BMX Bike Hierarchies and the Pride (and Shame) of Childhood Rides (28:01–31:19)

• Comparing scars and stories over brands like Team Murray, Huffy, Mongoose, and the mysterious, possibly apocryphal “Spiral.” Rafe and Ryan bond over being “white trash poor” and longing for the top-tier BMX bikes.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On BB gun wars:
  “I called it white trash paintball because that’s all we could afford…and the rules were you tried to shoot below the tits.” (Rafe Williams, 08:26)
• On parental supervision:
  “The only armor we had was a cookie sheet, and if you got hit above it, there was no lying—everyone would hear the ping.” (Ryan Sickler, 13:34)
• On childhood imagination:
  “We were the Goonies generation, dude. We wanted an adventure.” (Rafe Williams, 17:32)
• On resourcefulness after defeat:
  “That ass beating wasn’t for nothing…my mom pocketed that Speak & Spell.” (Rafe Williams, 41:58)
• On parental advice:
  “Sometimes in life, bullies don’t learn lessons...the only thing you can hope for is to survive it and to stick up for yourself.” (Rafe’s mom via Rafe, 41:14)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:31–03:30: Childhood car seats and lake trips
• 04:44–05:52: Scorching metal slides and quarry adventures
• 06:13–08:16: “Don’t Wake Daddy” and the anxiety of noisy games
• 08:18–14:24: BB gun wars, rules, injuries, and escalation
• 16:13–17:32: Wrist rocket and bottle rocket wars; rural boredoms
• 17:32–19:12: Fake Satanic cult patrols and the “Guardian Angels”
• 21:18–23:50: Stealing and stashing adult magazines
• 24:00–26:41: Breaking into abandoned hospitals and urban legends
• 28:01–31:19: BMX bike status, brands, and ramp dangers
• 31:49–33:19: Listener voicemail—“wrench fight” saga
• 33:54–42:14: Schoolyard fights, family feuds, and the “Speak & Spell” prize

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Overall Tone and Style

• The tone is endlessly playful and self-aware; the hosts revel in their shared nostalgia yet lovingly roast their past selves (and families) for the chaos, danger, and resourcefulness of bygone days.
• The conversation is fast-moving, peppered with slang, vivid imagery, and running jokes about rural poverty, dangerous games, and the universal rite of passage that is the unsupervised childhood of the ‘80s and ‘90s.

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Conclusion

Episode 132 is a hilarious, irreverent, and ultimately heartfelt time capsule of boyhood mischief and small-town legend-making. Rafe Williams and Ryan Sickler swap stories that are equal parts slapstick comedy, sociological insight, and tender reflection on what it meant to be young, bored, and wild—before cell phones, before parental supervision, and before childhood got so safe.

If you were ever a kid with nothing to do and too much imagination—or just want to remember what that felt like—this episode is for you.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Rafe Williams]

hey, baby, we gonna be here all day. We're gonna be here all day, baby. I like this kind of party.

[Ryan Sickler]

Welcome back to the Way Back, everybody. Ryan Sickler here. I am fired up to have this guest back here with us. You know what we're doing over here? We go through people's childhoods. We bring their. Their past to life, and I love seeing them jump out of their skin sometimes when they see their old house or whatever. First time here in the Way Back. Ladies and gentlemen, Rafe Williams. Welcome to the Way Back. Thank you.

[Rafe Williams]

Thank you. Thanks for having me, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

But before we get into anything, right there, promote everything you'd like.

[Rafe Williams]

Here it is. Follow me on all socials. I am Rafe Williams. That's R A F E Williams. And check out my special on the don't tell comedy network, outside dogs versus inside dogs on YouTube. Or my first special, young Grandpa, where I talk all about being a grandpa at 36 years old. Also available on YouTube. And follow me on all the stuff so I can have a comedy career. Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

I like to kick these episodes off, if I can, with. If you've ever sat in this seat back in the Way Back to face traffic. If so, who had it, why are you riding in it?

[Rafe Williams]

Well, yes, there was two. My buddy Brian's family had the legit bench seat back, and we would be riding in it basically just to go to, like, baseball games or go to Kincaid Lake. So I would ride that facing backwards. Right Is what we're talking about.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

So we had. But then we also, you know, I grew up in the 80s and Pam Loman had. I think it was a Daytona. Do you remember this? It was like a hatchback. And instead of a back windshield, it had shades.

[Ryan Sickler]

I do remember the, like, little plastic.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, like Kanye's glasses.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.

[Rafe Williams]

And we would be going to the lake, and we would have so many damn kids. They'd be like, just lay down back there. And we would just lay in the hatch of the Daytona. And I remember we'd get sunburned like pajamas. We look at the Hamburglar because we'd have the shades burning us the whole way.

[Ryan Sickler]

Stripe.

[Rafe Williams]

We had stripes, dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

One of these.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, yeah, dog. That's it right there. So she had a gray one of those. Look at that bad boy, dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

What is that, though?

[Rafe Williams]

I don't even.

[Ryan Sickler]

That looks like a Nissan or a 280Z. That's a two door also, by the

[Rafe Williams]

way, badge Daytona right there.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, I said it was four. Yep. Daytona. Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

So it was a Dodge Daytona.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

And it had like the shade in the back. And dude, we were just getting.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a tiny ass car to put all those kids in.

[Rafe Williams]

There it is right there. It was a great version of that. And there was a little back seat. We put the little kids in the little back seat. And then I was her. Her daughter Casey and I were the oldest. And we'd have to lay long ways in the back. And she'd drive us to the Kincaid Lake.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well done. Cursed.

[Rafe Williams]

She already got that.

[Ryan Sickler]

And where is this? In Illinois or is this Kentucky?

[Rafe Williams]

Where is this Illinois? It's down in Murfreesboro, Illinois. And it had like a big. She just had a picture of it. Up there was like a bluff you could jump off of. See that over there to the right? See people jumping off?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

So you could. If you had a boat, you could go to that, jump off and do flips and stuff. And there'd be boats everywhere. Yeah, it was just kind of a little hillbilly lake. Everybody went, hung out. Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

Rope swings. Oh, yeah, I love that.

[Rafe Williams]

All that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Good. Kirsten, look up this for me. Milford Mill. This is where we used to go. There you go.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. So this was a fucking old school quarry.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And they just filled it with. This is fresh water and it's got chlorine in it, even though it looks leaky looking. We would drive here. Have you ever seen the movie Crybaby?

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Johnny Depp. Okay, this is the. This is where they went. This was in the movie. This is like a party scene and all.

[Rafe Williams]

Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

So we would go here. And you had the rope swing that you see right there. You wait on the platform, Go off the rope, swing on over here to the right. See if you can find. See if there's a wide shot of the sliding board. It was like. It was like the old school playground sliding board, the metal one. But it was like three. It was like triple high. So it's summer, you're cooking, and then you're hauling ass down that thing. Look how big that is.

[Rafe Williams]

And no, it's metal. You can go off the Side, it's met.

[Ryan Sickler]

So when you get on there, it's.

[Rafe Williams]

It's scorching.

[Ryan Sickler]

Scorching your back all the way down that thing.

[Rafe Williams]

You.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're shirtless, and you don't want to

[Rafe Williams]

go there right now.

[Ryan Sickler]

It was badass. And then they had a pool. They had a pool up top. So you had a regular pool too, in a hot tub. And we used to do all the time is we'd wear two pairs of trunks, and we're high school kids, and we would go sit in the hot tub, and then we just wouldn't say anything. We crowd of people, and we would just take our trunks off and just. Just set them outside like, ah, what the are you doing?

[Rafe Williams]

That's actually a type.

[Ryan Sickler]

This was the. Right here. This was the.

[Rafe Williams]

You go. You go Tarzan style swing, Swing.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it was just a quarry. They filled some fresh water, bro. And that was a. Just a slide. If you didn't want to let go, you just hold on and. But the rope swings where we would flip backwards.

[Rafe Williams]

And yeah, we had a rope swing on a tree in a strip cut. But if you didn't let go,

[Ryan Sickler]

you shared that story.

[Rafe Williams]

You're gonna pay the piper, bro.

[Ryan Sickler]

My buddy Chris Lamp, we had a knot on the side of the tree, so when you'd pull it, it would go around that knot, but then it would swing far enough where it would drop off that knot. It would give you a really cool boom. And if you didn't hold on, it was over for your.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah. Yeah. We had a couple people lose their nerve because it was. You'd be so high, they'd get scared. We had like, a metal triangle on a rope, and I'd be like, don't. If you come back, it's over for you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

And some people came back, and they'd either hit the tree or they'd hit the shell off the side, and they just have to roll down the h water.

[Ryan Sickler]

You mentioned a game called don't wake Daddy, and I had never heard of this game.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, dude. We were talking about dads, like, in the 90s. And I'm like, dude, this is how aggressive dads were back in the day. There was a game called don't wake Daddy that you played. It was a board game for kids where, like, the whole premise of the thing was, like, if the dad wakes up, you're. You lose. Dad's gonna beat the out of all it. Like, the implied thing was, like, if you woke daddy, there were consequences. It was just like a dude. It was a white guy. And like little old and like a scrooge sleeping cap. And then I don't remember if it was happened. It was kind of like don't spill the Beans. Like if you.

[Ryan Sickler]

We had don't spill the beans. I know that one for sure, man.

[Rafe Williams]

If you can find a.

[Ryan Sickler]

From the makers of Don't Spill the Beans. Oh, it's like a timer and he

[Rafe Williams]

pops up and you lose and like

[Ryan Sickler]

he's ready to fight anxiety and stress.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, dude, they were teaching you back. Everybody where I grew up, man, everybody's dad was like a blue collar second shift coal mine worker. He'd be sleeping in the middle of the day.

[Ryan Sickler]

Be like, be quiet.

[Rafe Williams]

Don't wake Keith. You don't want Keith to wake up. And Keith, if he doesn't get his. If Keith wakes up, you guys are all in big trouble. We'd be in there trying to play Check mo bowl quietly.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, there's a commercial for it. Let's see.

[Rafe Williams]

Without making daddy lay on a noise. And you have to press daddy's alarm clock. Will he wake up? Cuz if so, he beats your. He beats the. Out of you. I mean, that's the implied thing happening here, right? What, what's the like going to the kitchen for a snack? Which it resonates with me because I wasn't allowed to give food without asking. And I'm just like, yeah, don't wake daddy, dude. It was a. That's how much it was ingrained in the culture back then. They're like, Milton Bradley was like, hey, Ouija boards.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, don't wake your. Don't wake your dad to the devil and don't wake your dragons.

[Rafe Williams]

Yep. It was crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm gonna jump around here because we talked about this before BB gun wars. We played those two. Tell me about yours. I want to hear what you guys would do.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, we had BB gun wars. Like, it was. I called it white trash paintball because that's all we could afford. And like, I was the poor. I was the Kenny of our group.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

So I remember my buddy got like a. The rules of our BB gun wars were this. We did not wear gog or anything like that. It was. You had to try to shoot below the tits. So the nipples were the boundary.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Rafe Williams]

And if you shot, if you could prove with the welt, neck, face or upper shoulder area got hit, the person who shot you had to go in front of the firing squad. That was the deterrent to keep from getting your eyes shot out.

[Ryan Sickler]

How many people are in the firing squad?

[Rafe Williams]

Everybody who Was playing how many we talked. So we could be anywhere between five and 12 guys, depending on the night.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so if you up and hit somebody above.

[Rafe Williams]

If you up and like, that's like

[Ryan Sickler]

12 of them, right?

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah. Because my cousin was a repeat offender, we had to put this rule. He'd also pin you in the tent. Like you go in the tent to get a soda or something, and he'd pin you in there with like enemy fire.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, more than one. He's in you with the.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, well. So my buddy went in the back of a comic book and he got this Uzi that looked real, dude. Cuz they didn't give a. Back then, like, let's look it up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Curse a little Uzi BB guy.

[Rafe Williams]

It had like CO2 cartridge that went in the handle and it would shoot BBs as fast as you could pull the trigger, dude. And I had a red rider. I'm like in the. I could. I had to learn how to arc it, you know, you can see.

[Ryan Sickler]

You could see it. Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

So if I hit you, this dude had. Yeah, one of those things, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

Shoot the soft bullets.

[Rafe Williams]

No, this is BB gun.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you had a red rider. You had the old school red rider.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah. So I'm just like, you know. And then you gotta. The rules. You could only pump them once because we had the pumpers.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. Yes.

[Rafe Williams]

So you'd all. Yeah, we were like, all right, everybody pump once. And you'd all stand back to back. You'd all head off in different directions in the woods, and all you'd hear is. And I'm like, everyone's breaking the rule. And you knew if you got hit with that first bb, it was over for you, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

That guy right there.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, dude. It would set it off, man. As fast as you could pull the trigger, you could shoot 100. It would hold like 200 BBs.

[Ryan Sickler]

And they're not at one pump. They're hauling ass.

[Rafe Williams]

Well, yeah, and they're just. You didn't even have to pump it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, power he's getting out of these is way more than one pump.

[Rafe Williams]

I could pin down in a creek and just. I'd be hearing Credence, it ain't me, it ain't me.

[Ryan Sickler]

I ain't no.

[Rafe Williams]

I'm just like.

[Ryan Sickler]

You wait to get air. The pieces get to the lz.

[Rafe Williams]

Like I was having flashbacks I wasn't even entitled to. Out. Illinois.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my boys.

[Rafe Williams]

Damn. Where'd you find that?

[Ryan Sickler]

Get him, princess. Who's who here?

[Rafe Williams]

All Right. So that's me and the Illinois sweatshirt there and them cool pleated jeans. My brother Seth is the cotton top over to the right in the Illinois state. Apparently there was a division in the house of the hand me downs and the kid there. And you can't. What you can't see is he's wearing. That's my brother Cord. But we called him Pete because he wouldn't. He looked like an old man when he was born. So we start and we had a neighbor named Pete Ramey who had. Was a carpenter who'd cut like seven of his ten fingers off to the point that his wife Irene was like. When it happened, she didn't even panic anymore. She'd just be like, Pete got up. Finger off again. He'd be out there woodwork. But he looked like little Pete. So we started calling him that. And he got mad later. And you have a little brother, like, they get mad like be playing with a ball and be like, all right, Cord get hit. He's like, my name's Pete. Call me Pete. And I'm like, so then he wanted to be called Cord later in his life. And I'm like, it's over for you, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're peeing forever, your feet forever.

[Rafe Williams]

So like even now when we go home, I still call him Pete. He's got on snakeskin cowboy boots in his picture and like pleated jeans. But this is. Yeah, this is peak. You can see the Nintendo.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you sure Pete wasn't stepping out next door over at the house or

[Rafe Williams]

he might have been, dude. He was a cool dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

There he is.

[Rafe Williams]

Look at that dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at that

[Rafe Williams]

picture, dog. That's my little brother, dude. Like he looks like. Tell me that doesn't look like the drunkest guy at a wedding reception. That's like a four year old child.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at every. Look at the. The velvet couch here. Look at the tv.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, hell. Is that Nintendo on top of that tv?

[Rafe Williams]

That was probably the third or fourth year. I remember we got the Nintendo right there. When we got the. We always got it like after when the super Nintendo was out, we got a Nintendo. You know what I mean? We got whatever the older version was.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look this up. This. I'm gonna go back to your BB gun. Dude.

[Rafe Williams]

That picture, my brother is funny as hell.

[Ryan Sickler]

880. Yeah. Just do BB gun. So this was the one we had. We had the 880. That guy, right?

[Rafe Williams]

That thing will you up, dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it was a BB and pellet.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you could. You could get the milk Carton of BBS import in.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you have to do pellets individual, because they were magnetic, right? And we would play the same game.

[Rafe Williams]

You'd be Lee Harvey Oswald with a pellet. Dude, when you would put a pellet in there, you would literally feel like you're going to assassinate a president. Because it was like, you put one, you had to, like, lock and load it. And it was. It felt very real. And they had the pointed tip pellets. If you really wanted to torture someone.

[Ryan Sickler]

But we would put cookie sheets. We wear cookie sheets on our chest and our back because they had holes.

[Rafe Williams]

Smart.

[Ryan Sickler]

We tie them. So if you got. Again, same thing. Anything above the cookie sheet.

[Rafe Williams]

You also couldn't lie because you'd hear the ping.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, you'd no doubt hear the ping. But to your point, what you were saying, if you just pump this thing once, you can absolutely see the BB

[Rafe Williams]

come out of it, right?

[Ryan Sickler]

But we would always have the kid that would do the same thing pumping it. It's supposed to be 10 pumps. There's kids pumping that 20. And you know what I mean?

[Rafe Williams]

Just be like.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it start to build. Eric, it got under his skin.

[Rafe Williams]

It would start to be like a strength contest. That 30th pump, you're like. And you're just like, man, if that BB hits you, dude, you are going to heaven. Like, it's over.

[Ryan Sickler]

Eric got one. He got one. It was a shoulder, his leg that went in so deep. He had to go to the doctor. They had to, like, cut it out. And because it was causing an infection.

[Rafe Williams]

So I was gonna go. The BB tag, that really messes up. That's when parents get involved, which you don't want.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Rafe Williams]

Wait, I'm not done.

[Ryan Sickler]

Stop cutting me up.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, we had those wrist rocket things.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, that's what we're talking about.

[Rafe Williams]

Those things would. Oh, put out some torque, dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

What are they? Marksman.

[Rafe Williams]

We would sneak into town and have. We had bottle rocket wars, too, where, like, when we got older, we would put PVC pipes on the edge of our.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

Like, friends. Like, we would shoot them out like the. My buddy had a jeep and we'd put duct tape and PVC pipe and we would literally go twisted metal style and be shooting in cars, shooting like

[Ryan Sickler]

Roman candles and into people's cars while they're driving.

[Rafe Williams]

Driving around town, shooting.

[Ryan Sickler]

Insane.

[Rafe Williams]

Dude, there's nothing to do in these little towns.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, I hear you.

[Rafe Williams]

We snuck into town one time. My brother scared the. Out of my friend's mom or not. My cousin. He didn't get in trouble. I got grounded for the whole summer because we were, like, all, like, blacked out, dude. Like Navy seals and black berets and, like, fatigues. We bought because we were playing. We were paramilitary all the way. All my whole childhood was like, isis.

[Ryan Sickler]

We were just, what are you jumping out of? What are y' all jumping out of?

[Rafe Williams]

We were a paramilitary organization dedicated to justice. We were. We were obsessed with devil worshipers. Like, it was the highly satanic panic. And somebody spray painted on a. On a. On the trestle, on the tracks, like Halloween and they stranded a pentagram. And like, it was probably just like, some skater kids or something. But we, like, we would create these stories in our head because we're the Goonies generation, dude. We wanted an adventure.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

Something happened. We wanted, like, A. And so we. I took can of spray paint, me and my cousins, and we wrote this Halloween, the guardian angels are coming for you. You know, we decided we were. And there was like this old abandoned church where we heard these, like, satanic things were going down. And we had gotten all the stockpiled all these pellet guns. Old, are you guys probably like 12, 13 years old?

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you on foot bikes type?

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah. And we decided we were going to, like, rid the town of these devil worshippers, you know, it's so goose. It's so stupid. And my buddy Mike got grounded, and he was the arm supplier. He had all the weapons. And we're like, well, we're. This whole mission's cuz Mike got grounded. And then we're like. We're like, hey, man, can you leave the guns in a culvert in the trash bag and we'll get them back to you? And he's like, all right. So he left a bunch of guns. And we were walking to tracks and we see.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why does one kid have all the guns?

[Rafe Williams]

Because there's always one kid that has.

[Ryan Sickler]

Was that his family? That type of family? He's got a bunch of BB guns.

[Rafe Williams]

He was unmonitored, like, you know, and I think something happened. And then, like, we ran into some older kids coming down the tracks. But in our mind, these were the devil worshipers. And it was like older kids trying to scare us. So they were like. We could hear them far away. Be like, all right, on three. One, two, three. And they started sprinting towards us. And I was like. I pulled out my gun and I turned around and my buddies are all gone. Everybody's booked it. The guardian angels flew. Guardian angels went back to heaven quick. So then I booked it. I fired off a shot, and now these older kids are pissed because I wing one of them with like a pellet gun. I'm like, thank God nobody got hurt. They're chasing us. And it's like, you know, you just create these adventures in your head. You know, nothing was really going on, but it was fun.

[Ryan Sickler]

At the time, we insisted that we had a guy in our neighborhood killed cats. Yeah, we called him the cat killer.

[Rafe Williams]

Poor guy.

[Ryan Sickler]

And we would sneak out our house at night, like 11:30 midnight. We go just sit by his house. And we would hear crazy shit going on in that house. Yeah, you would hear what you thought were buzz saws. You would hear. We probably were hearing cats and heat and shit like that or whatever and associating with him doing this. But yeah, we were make so much shit up. And then go on these fucking adventures out in the woods at night.

[Rafe Williams]

Probably just like a sheet metal worker

[Ryan Sickler]

thing, doing arts and crafts in there.

[Rafe Williams]

And you shunned him from your entire community. Yeah, guy. He's like, I actually. I'm building. I'm building houses for stray cats. He's a cat lover. Hi, buddy.

[Ryan Sickler]

What kind of military games are you guys playing? Like, what are you doing?

[Rafe Williams]

Well, dude, we were like, Navy SEALS was big, bro. This was like. I remember me and my buddy used to watch Platoon all the time, and we missed the point of that movie as kids. You know, you watch it. We like this school, man. What a great Vietnam movie. And, like, you watch it later and you're like, whoa, that was heavy. I watched Predator at least 8, 000 times. Probably the most viewed movie of my childhood. And we would just go out and we would make up, man. And like, one of the big things we did was there was a guy that owned a junkyard, and he bought the old, old decrepit high school, and he kept a bunch of junk in it. And we had broken it.

[Ryan Sickler]

He bought an old high school and then put junk in it?

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, it was like an old school. And the school still had the fire escapes. It looked like tornado slides. So we'd sneak in there and go down these condemned fire escapes. But it was cool because you'd be on the third floor, and it was like a tornado slide. And we'd kick the screen out. They had it screened up at the bottom, but not at the top, so you could sneak into school and go down. And we just kicked one of the screens out and partied. And he had a bunch of porn, man. And he had it, like, bundled up, like a newsy, like, entwined. So you could just get a big bundle of, like that. And I mean, I feel bags. We stole all this guy's, like, antique Playboys, probably worth money. And we put them in a. There it is, right there. That's cool. I can't believe you just found that. So see how old that is?

[Ryan Sickler]

Which would we talk about, the brick building or next?

[Rafe Williams]

He owned both, but the brick building is. You had to go in through that. See that window right there on the bottom? That was the entry point, dog. That was because that window was open right there in between the gymnasium and the school over to the left. Boom. We go in through there. Then we. So there was a piece of the stairs missing, literally, like a. Like a video game, like they had fallen in. So we had to find a way around to get up. And then on the third floor he had a bunch of Playboys and stuff. And we would get in there and then we just got trash. I mean garbage sized trash bags full of Playboys, dude. And we'd hide them in the woods.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kirsten.

[Donnie]

What?

[Ryan Sickler]

How old are you getting? Kirsten? 21 now 8. Because we've done this show for years.

[Rafe Williams]

She don't know nothing about.

[Ryan Sickler]

She can't get over. It's porn in the woods. I'm talking about it in my stand up. Something about testosterone called you to the woods. And there would just be titty magazines in the woods.

[Rafe Williams]

It's because of this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes, all this, everybody. So what's in that little gray building next to.

[Rafe Williams]

No one could get caught with it because it was too, you know, there was too much to lose. That was like the old gym. So he had cars and in there like old junk cars and stuff like that. But it was an old school like Hoosiers gymnasium.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you ever attend that school?

[Rafe Williams]

No, that school was closed. That was like the Dowel High School.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look right there. Dow school right there at the top.

[Rafe Williams]

It was funny. Dude. Is we. We put them in trash bags. We go hide them in a hollow log and we're like, all right, hands in, boys. It was like Ocean's eleven reverse. You know, we were like, hands in. The longer we keep a lid on this, the more porn we get to enjoy. It's just. That means there was just kids jacking off in the woods.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes.

[Rafe Williams]

You didn't take it home. Who knows what was going on out there? But did we betrayed each other? Like a bad movie. Like we just come and be like. I'd be like, hey, man, the bag's open. Got rained in. And then all they would slowly. The magazines would disappear. So it's like everybody would be like, hey, don't tell anybody. So we were all three cherries. Yeah, dude. We were all betraying each other. And then eventually all the neighborhood kids would rob the. And you'd be down to the last, you know, milky jugs. The one nobody wanted.

[Ryan Sickler]

No one wanted.

[Rafe Williams]

Thank God the wind didn't blow on the back of my neck that day. Because there was one where it was just women putting their. Their lactating boobs up against a glass coffee tabletop. And I was like, I'm too young to be getting this deep. That's like page 10.

[Ryan Sickler]

And also that's a wild. A whole magazine of that I know to have subscriptions.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah. And. And that, you know, that stuff you got to go past page 10 on Pornhub to find to this day.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kirsten, that room right there.

[Rafe Williams]

Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

So we would go at night. This is an old hospital called Mount Wilson in Baltimore county, and it was a tuberculosis hospital.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, Lord.

[Ryan Sickler]

And when. I'm telling you, Rafe, when they cured tuberculosis, it's like someone walked in on a Wednesday at 12:30 and said they cured it. And everyone got up and just left.

[Rafe Williams]

This literally looks like stranger things, bro. We would go 11 got made in.

[Ryan Sickler]

We're going six, seven of us deep at 1am breaking into this hospital, and we're going into the morgue. There are toe tags in there. And. But I mean, people have already been in for years, so killed for this. So when you turn around the hallway and you shine a flashlight down, there's a wheelchair at the other end. It's 666 on the wall. And like, here you go. This is what it looked like.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, dude. You were creeping at night.

[Ryan Sickler]

We would. Oh. And there would always be one friend in the back that would throw something over here. And you hear, we're all trying to run over each other. And. But it. My friend's dad one time went with us when we told him he got toe tags. And we're like, this is crazy.

[Rafe Williams]

This is awesome. I would have killed for this. And you know, I was talking about

[Ryan Sickler]

to my buddy tuberculosis. Did.

[Rafe Williams]

Bro, we should. I got tuberculosis just to hang out here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you see any other old weird pictures?

[Rafe Williams]

Well, you think about this too, man. Like, we were ghost hunters before Zack Baggin ever did.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

That guy. I'm like, bro, we were taking.

[Ryan Sickler]

No doubt.

[Rafe Williams]

I We would take my mom's big or not my mom. My friend's mom's big ass camcorder out into like an old farmhouse and be narrating it. Like we knew. Like, we. Like, we're in ecto one. I'd be like. Like my cousin. Be like, there's a lot of hypo potential energy. You can feel it. My arms are standing up. I go, what kind of energy? Hypopotential. That's not a word, dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, Carson, go back to those pictures.

[Rafe Williams]

You just go scare yourselves, because that's all those ghost hunter shows are. It's just a bunch of white dudes scaring themselves. And we were doing that way before. Who knew?

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what I'm talking about. But at night time, you're. Well, this is an asylum. It's nuts.

[Rafe Williams]

Dude, dude, dude, I guarantee you had guys wouldn't go in there. That's A. That's one where guys are like, oh,

[Ryan Sickler]

we did have people that were like, I'm waiting in the car.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, no way. That is.

[Ryan Sickler]

And also, we'd go. We'd do it. I don't know. I maybe did that two or three times, but there would be. Yeah. Look at that main entrance. Look at this place.

[Rafe Williams]

It's amazing.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's crazy.

[Rafe Williams]

I'd have killed for.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then there was a house right by it, this old, weird house where, again, literally, like.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, really?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. And they would go there and meet there. And we're in there one night, trying to just see what. What's going on, and they show up. Oh, they were there.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, so it was real.

[Ryan Sickler]

It was real.

[Rafe Williams]

You got the real deal.

[Ryan Sickler]

It was real. They came, we were outside, and they pulled up and they went in and we were all, like, just crawling away. Like, shut the up. Shut the up. They. Because we thought it was. And then they show up.

[Rafe Williams]

Just looks like reading down the satanic candles.

[Ryan Sickler]

Probably Ouija board. But to us, they were like babies. You know what I mean?

[Rafe Williams]

Of course. I mean, they were straight up. They were the scourge of the 80s. I couldn't play Dungeons and Dragons because my mom, she threw away Guns N' Roses Appetite for Destruction CD like, 37 times. I'd get it and I'd hide it. I hit it like Andy Dufresne, dude. I'd have it, like, cut a hole in my mattress and put a Guns and Roses CD up in there. Come home. My mom. My mom was nosy. She'd go through my.

[Ryan Sickler]

She did.

[Rafe Williams]

I don't know if yours did that, which is crazy, because I know my mom's a real one because I used to trace X Men magazines in the 90s because they were really sexually, like. They drew Rogue and Storm. Really sexually explicit in the 90s. And I would, like. Because you didn't have porn. So I would, like, get trace paper, and I'd trace, like, the titties and this. Torsos of the women and draw nipples on them and stuff in my little trace pads. But I couldn't quite get the arms and hands to look right. So I eventually gave up on it. And then I'd come home and the drawings would be gone. It'd be in my Foot Locker, and I'd be like, man, my brother. It was my mom throwing them away. And I'm like, my mom found pictures in my Foot Locker of women's naked torsos. No head, no arms, legs. It was just me trying to draw titties. But she didn't know that. And she never said a word to me about it, dude. She's like. I'm like, mom, you're a real one, dude. But that's also why Jeffrey Dahmer got away with a lot of parents step in.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was your BMX bike, bro? Would you have.

[Rafe Williams]

I had a team Murray, dog. Hey, touch it up, bro. Did you have one?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, I'm poor. I'm white trash, right? Yeah. The red one is exactly what I had.

[Rafe Williams]

That's my bike. You're looking at my childhood bike, right?

[Ryan Sickler]

That's it.

[Rafe Williams]

That was a Huffy was a knockoff of the good BMXs.

[Ryan Sickler]

Huffy was what I started with. A Huffy with a banana.

[Rafe Williams]

Huffy's tight, though. Huffy was like an upgrade from team Murray. Well, he was like, oh, yeah, dude. Huffy was.

[Ryan Sickler]

Now you're upsetting me. I went from a Huffy to a team.

[Rafe Williams]

I hate your finding out like this.

[Ryan Sickler]

My little brother had the Mongoose and we were like, go yourself. We got Team Murray's.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, I had a buddy with a Diamondback. I had a buddy with. Yeah, it was a great.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look up the hutch Diamondback, dude.

[Rafe Williams]

That is my. Straight up. My bike from being a kid. I remember the whole. I hit my nuts on that thing so many times. Same one I had and the handlebars. I'd jump a ramp. Your whole childhood was just trying to build or find a ramp.

[Ryan Sickler]

There you go.

[Rafe Williams]

Damn, that thing's tight.

[Ryan Sickler]

Touch was like the one that was the. If you were a rich kid, you had a Hutch. That's what we did.

[Rafe Williams]

Dino was the rich kid by.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dino was a one. Mongoose was a good one.

[Rafe Williams]

My homeboy had a.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was the.

[Rafe Williams]

A neon green Mongoose GT with the white mag wheels. If I see this.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

There you go.

[Ryan Sickler]

There they are right there. Look at that, bro.

[Rafe Williams]

The white one right there with the white. Look at that. Go back down to the left. That guy. Come on.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yep, that was the.

[Rafe Williams]

Jason Coban had that neon green. This is like Peak Miami also.

[Ryan Sickler]

Freewheel too, back then. That was a big deal, cuz everything up until then was still pushed apart to pedal backwards to stop and skid.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, yeah, no one like that.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was the other. Was it gto? Is the car. Was it a gt?

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, Magus gt. It was a. That was.

[Ryan Sickler]

It was that mongoose, though. Yeah, I thought there was a. Just a GT also that they had their own.

[Rafe Williams]

Oh, maybe there was. Huffy was a knockoff of all these. The Cheapo. And NT Mary was like, are you still even poorer? Huffy's like, so disappointing. Hey, Hydrox cookies a little too high class. Ah, here's one just called Black and Cream. And that's basically what Team Murray was.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, wait, tell me this one. Then look up first and please look up Spiral. It was called Spiral. It was like maroon spiral. BMX bike.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, the chopper handlebars.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. It didn't have these handlebars though. But it was a bike. So my brother got this one called a Spiral, which I'm wondering if it was even worse than team Murray now. You ever hear that?

[Rafe Williams]

The Spiral. Oh, that's a sad looking bike right there. I don't know what the that is. Damn. Damn. That's sad bike, dude. That. That's a bike for a kid that's got like a hip display there it

[Ryan Sickler]

is, that spiral right there. That logo you found. That bike was his. It was maroon.

[Rafe Williams]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm saying I've never even heard of it other than this time.

[Rafe Williams]

That might have been. I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

What did you ever get a.

[Rafe Williams]

All my entire childhood was paramilitary operations, BB gun wars, and trying to find. Build ramps, makeshift ramps to like, we go through a ditch to get speed and then put the ramp on the other side of the ditch. And then you get airborne. And you would know on the team Murray, dude, like the. The bolts in the neck weren't strong enough to withhold the landing. Like the handlebars are. Wait, they go forward.

[Ryan Sickler]

Forward, all over.

[Rafe Williams]

Gone. You're eating all gravel. Every time. But it still was like the funnest time of my life. Like, that's all I live for.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, so we started a new segment here on the way back called after the beep where you guys call in numbers right here across the screen. Now leave an old school way back message and we got a couple voicemails that we love. This one here is an interesting. I want you to listen to it. We can talk about it real quick.

[Rafe Williams]

Sounds great.

[Donnie]

Hey, Ryan, it's Donnie. This is my favorite story about my dad. Years 1996. We're living in Fort Knox, Kentucky. He was in the army. We were. He had a business where on the side where he mowed lawns. And him and his business partner had been getting into it lately about something. And one day, I'm six years old, he's yelling at somebody on the phone. He says, come over then, and hangs up the phone. And he goes out to the shed, comes back and he's got this big breaker bar. A few minutes later, this Korean woman comes busting through the door and she fucking snatches that wrench out of his hand and starts whacking him in the head with it. And he starts yelling to call the cops. I'm six years old. I get on the phone, I'm trying to tell 911 what's going on and where we're at. And then he starts yelling, go get Rusty. The next door neighborhood, and he's an old man. So I run over there, I put my 3 year old brother on the phone with 91 1. I go get him, he comes back over. He just stands there and watched my dad get his ass whooped. Cops finally show up and wanted to help them both. And they're both sitting on the couch and they're about to take him to jail. And he says that, well, she showed up with this wrench to hit me with it. And she's like, no, he had it. Well, it turns out he borrowed that from her husband, his business partner. And it had his last name on it. So she went to jail and they let my dad go.

[Rafe Williams]

All right, damn.

[Ryan Sickler]

First of all, you can't put your

[Rafe Williams]

name on the murder weapon.

[Ryan Sickler]

This kid is 6. His dad's getting beat in front of him by a woman. And he's yelling, call the cops. Then he yells, tells him to go get somebody. We put a three year old on the phone with 91 1. So I. I can't listen. It would change. My dad died. My dad died when I was younger, but my dad's my hero. I can say this though. If I saw my dad get his ass handed to him in front of me, it would have changed the way I felt about him. Probably.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you had a family fight.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, dude. Well, I had a. I had a day. We had one day where as a family we were at least owing 4. It was bad, man. Well, I guess I did get a mini win at the beginning, but we went on four after and it was like, you know, I had a kid and it was like, dude, back in the day they didn't. They did social promotions. Like kids would just like flunk out or get held back. So there was always like a big Neanderthal kid in every class that's like, oh, he's supposed to be in like fifth grade, but he's in second grade still. He just this kid named Clayton. And he was like, you know, back there. Who knows what kind of behavioral issues he had. It didn't matter. They Just put the behaviorally problematic kids in class, and we're like, you guys deal with this. And he picked on everybody. And he stabbed my buddy Paul with a piece of a pencil and broke the graphite off in his leg like an indoor. It was raining. It was recess. And I got, you know, protector instincts in me, and sometimes they backfire. And I was like, well, this aggression won't stand on my boy Paul. So I got a Prairie Farms milk crate, because I remember he's that much bigger than me. And I flipped it over, and we had lockers in the classroom. And I opened the locker and I was pretending to look in the thing, and I was like, hey, Clayton, come here and look at this, man. And he's like, what? And I go, check this out. So I got him, like, up close enough to me, like, he's gonna look in the locker. And then I just turned and sucker punched him right in the face, dude. And hit him in the nose. And I had to stand on the milk crate to reach his fat head. And he went down. And then, like, he started crying and he ran out of the classroom. And I was like, oh, cool. After School Special, dude taught the bully a lesson. He goes home and he's like, I see the error of my ways. I will be a protector and a light in the world. But that's only in the television show, because in real life, he hides behind a bus door and he waits for you to take your backpack off. And when you got your arms pinned behind you, he hit you in the face with a speaking spell. We have one kind of look like this.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's a bigger version of that, but

[Rafe Williams]

it was a hand.

[Ryan Sickler]

It had a handle around here somewhere.

[Rafe Williams]

And it was a big ass thing, and it was a computer, and we couldn't afford it like. Like, because we had to catch the bus. The post office to center of town, and people's parents would, like, come walk them home. And I was still young enough to be getting walked home, and so was he. So he hit me in the face. I'm gone, dude. And the speaking spell was like this toy everybody wanted. It was expensive back in the day. It was like. It was like the first iPad. It was in e. T. If you remember the movie E.T. and you would type in a word, be like spell oil, o, I l. You are correct. And it was like. Yeah, it was like a big Texas Instruments made it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. And they made the little calculator too, over there. But yeah. So this is not little. And it's got a handle. Good ass Grip Swing.

[Rafe Williams]

That's right. When the microchip boards were heavy, dude, There was a lot of. There was a lot of melted aluminum in there. There was a lot of soldering in there, dude. It was heavy. And I don't know what he spelled because he was dumb. He'd been held back.

[Ryan Sickler]

He smelled ass whooping.

[Rafe Williams]

I think he spelled murder. Because when he hit me, death, because when he hit me, I went out, and the last thing I heard as I blacked out was, you are correct. And I was like, oh, what a thing to escort you into the afterlife, dude. Robotic voice. So I go down. He starts wailing on me. Apparently, I'm out like a light. My mom sees it, so she grabs him by. By his backpack, little. And yanks him off and throws him on the ground to get him off me. Well, now, his mom, who's this big German broad because his dad was in the air force. Big woman, dude. She starts, like, she freaks out. She's big, dude. This frau line was not around. And, like, she starts. I wake, I come to, and my mom is just getting worked by this lady, dude. Hand hair in her head. My mom's hair.

[Ryan Sickler]

Your mom get.

[Rafe Williams]

I mean, just getting jacked, and it's scarier. And the lady's like, imagine seeing my

[Ryan Sickler]

parent get their ass beat.

[Rafe Williams]

You're not just getting your ass beat, but getting your ass beaten. Another language. And German's a hard language, dog.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, like, aggressive.

[Rafe Williams]

And I'm just like, God damn, get this Nazi off my mom. She's just. She's giving it to her for the Third Reich, dude. Like, she was.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think we know where her son gets it. You know, I think.

[Rafe Williams]

Yeah, I think her son definitely stormed the capital. Let's put it that way. I guarantee Clayton was in the insurrection. I know where he was on Jan6. Oh, so my mom gets hurt. Ass beat, dude. She's rolled around in the dirt. She's gotten worked. I'm bleeding, she's bleeding. We're like, we got to go home, dude. This is. We just went 0 and 2 in front of the whole town. The problem is my dad's like, you know, he's type of dad. He's the type of dad, you know, it's. We're an extension of him. He ain't gonna be happy that we lost the fight in public. So now we got to figure out. She takes me home, does some triage. He's like, hey, your dad's getting off work. Go play in the yard. I'm gonna try to smooth this Over. Oh, unfortunately, like, you know, I go out in the yard and then if you tell me, don't get out of the yard, as a kid, you don't get out of the yard. There's like an invisible. It's like the first invisible fence. You just don't do it. And this kid's riding his bike back and forth and he's giving me the finger because he lived.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, he.

[Rafe Williams]

He's like, my mom beat your mom's ass. And dude, I was like, ralphie. When he finally like snaps in, like

[Ryan Sickler]

Christmas story, he's got the red ride.

[Rafe Williams]

And I'm just like, I don't have. I can't go fight him in the street because I don't want to get out of the yard. So, like, it's weird because you're in a rage, but you're still following rules because you're a kid.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

So I saw was like a branch in the yard that was approximately spear sized. It was big. It was probably about, you know, that big around and had a deadwood, they'd fallen off an oak tree. And I pick it up, dude, and I just turned into Shakazulu all of a sudden. I was just like, throw this thing, dude. And it's like, it's going. And I'm like like. And I told you in there, dude, one in a million shot couldn't repeat. You give me every. I could try for the rest of my life. This thing in slow motion, it just like hits his front wheel, goes through the spokes, locks his bike up. When the wheel comes around and hits the front, he comes to a dead stop. He goes over, elbows into the gravel, into the street. He's all skinned up, he's pissed, he's crying. I'm like, got your ass wrong. Didn't learn a lesson again. He takes the stick and he starts like dragging it on the street, like, sharpening the end. And I go, oh, this is a problem. He didn't care about my boundaries. He came in the yard, he's chasing me around. Like two trailer park kids go round the outside, you know, like, he's chasing me, stabs me in the shoulder with this stick. He runs off. Now I'm bleeding from the shoulder. I gotta go inside, you know, And I'm like, my dad's in there. And like, he's kind of sitting in his chair. And I sneak past him, trying not to cry. And then I walk past the bedroom and I see my mom sitting on the bed crying, which means she got had, you know, she got hers from her. The fourth strike. Yeah, my dad. So now I'm like, damn, dude, this is like Inglourious bastards. Reverse. This is the reverse of Inglorious bastards. We're being haunted by all kinds of pieces of. So she takes me in the bathroom and like, cleans me up, you know, and. And I realize I'm like, Damn, we're owing 4 as a. As a pair today. We've all. Our record is shitty and, you know, sound like you got worked by a German lady. You got home, your husband worked. Yeah, I'm getting. I got. I got beat by the same guy twice.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, dude, this is.

[Rafe Williams]

And you know, she cleaned me up. The lesson was she goes, honey, sometimes in life bullies don't learn lessons. And it's okay. The best you can, the only thing you can hope for is to survive it and to stick up to yourself. And we did. We did today. And then this is the part I forgot. I go to bed that night and I lay down and I feel something under my pillow. Pull it out. My mom pocketed that speaking spell.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did she really?

[Rafe Williams]

Swear to God, dude. And it was a toy we could blow. She went, and somehow in the madness of fighting, this drum stuck all the way. And dude, I had begged for this toy at WALMART like, like 50 times. And my mom's like, that ass beating wasn't for nothing.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know what? Good for your mom. Grabbing it and pulling it, taking it.

[Rafe Williams]

I have a feeling she just was knocked out on top of it and woke up and it was like, something's in my back. And was like, you aren't correct. But I kept that. I had Clayton Wyatt speaking spell for the rest of my childhood.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hell yeah.

[Rafe Williams]

Because Jackie had the presence of mind in the midst of getting destroyed by the Third Reich.

[Ryan Sickler]

That is a great. That's the first one we've done. And what a great story to go with after the beep. Dude, thank you for doing this.

[Rafe Williams]

No problem, man. Thanks for having me, dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

Promote right there. One more time.

[Rafe Williams]

Rafe Williams on all the socials. Check out young grandpa. Check out my latest special. I did like a 20 minute special for Don't Tell called Inside Dogs versus Outside Dogs. It's on YouTube. And then come see a show. Follow me. Help. You know that's the name of the game now. I appreciate all the love and I appreciate you letting me be a part of this, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

Man, you got it, brother. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week.