133: Maddi Mays: She Had TWO Uvulas?! | The Wayback with Ryan Sickler #133

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Wayback with Ryan Sickler – Ep. 133: Maddi Mays: She Had TWO Uvulas?!

Date: July 16, 2026
Guest: Maddi Mays

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Overview

In this lively, memory-packed episode, Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Maddi Mays back to “The Wayback” for a hilariously nostalgic and honest journey through Maddi’s unique upbringing in Texas, chaotic neighborhood adventures, early cheerleading days, quirky family members, and formative experiences at Renaissance fairs and anime conventions. The conversation is full of warmth, laughter, personal revelations, and captivating snapshots of childhood, adolescence, and identity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Maddi’s Family & Neighborhood Dynamics

[01:33-05:00]

• Maddi describes her upbringing in Houston, Texas, specifically in a cul-de-sac in Richmond (Missouri City/Pecan Grove).
  • Mixed-race family: Mom (white), Dad (Black and Filipino), two older Vietnamese siblings, and a younger brother who "looks white."
  • “We looked like a weird group. I always felt like I looked adopted, but I was the Black one.” — Maddi ([01:56])
• Neighborhood dynamics: Colorful snapshots of neighbors and friendships, including Denisha (fellow mischief-maker), Laura (“girl with two uvulas”), and Caitlin Kane (the “big” girl who was held back a year).

Nostalgic Google Maps Tour

[03:35-05:00]

• The duo brings up Street View images of Maddi’s childhood home and neighborhood, prompting memories about houses, specific cars, and even a backyard swing set.
  • “That white car out front, that was my dad... and the little diamond logo was for the cheerleading.” — Maddi ([04:59])

Neighborhood Kids & the Legend of Two Uvulas

[05:50-06:53]

• Maddi recalls Laura, the neighbor with “two uvulas” who spoke with a distinct, phlegmy voice.
  • “She had two uvulas...we could see ‘em. She talked funny.” — Maddi ([06:01])
• Rivalries and alliances among the neighborhood kids—Denisha as instigator, Laura with the pool (and the mean streak), and Caitlin often left out and emotional.

Impromptu “Fight Club” for Bobby’s Affection

[10:56-12:05]

• Denisha orchestrates mock fights among the girls to “win” Bobby, the most sought-after boy.
  • “Denisha had these fight clubbing...the winner gets to kiss Bobby.” ([11:18])
  • Maddi remembers Caitlin, the largest and toughest, winning—but Bobby refusing to kiss her and running home.
  • “Bobby was my homie...but all these girls fighting for him, he just ran.” — Maddi ([12:05])

Early Vampire Obsession & Childhood Play

[12:38-13:09]

• Maddi describes running through Houston’s heat at night, inspired by the vampires in Twilight.
  • “If I lock in, I’m going vampire mode, and I’m going faster. I thought I was so fast.” — Maddi ([12:54])

Competitive Cheerleading & Childhood Quirks

[21:37-26:14]

• Maddi gets into competitive cheerleading from age three (flyer and then front spot) and describes the quirky, high-pressure world of cheer.
  • “Three years old! I was supposed to be napping right now.” — Maddi ([22:36])
  • “Before we performed, they’d give us pixie sticks. It’s like a cocaine pipe!” ([24:11])
• Struggles with being the “weird kid” at cheer camp and dealing with undiagnosed “AuDHD” (autism & ADHD cocktail).
  • “I’d be in the corner with my mouth open waiting for the drool to hit the line—just little things I would fixate on.” ([25:56])
• Maddi's first experience bombing publicly: trying—and failing—to joke along with the cool girls at cheer camp.
  • “I said, ‘well, this is Pooty 5000…’ Complete silence. I bombed so hard.” — Maddi ([28:07], [28:53])

Renaissance Festival Memories & Eccentric Grandparents

[29:03-32:38]

• Maddi’s grandmother was a RenFest fixture for decades—originally playing “Patty,” a child in an old woman’s body (based on Maddi!), later a tarot card reader.
  • “I’m like, so I’m the creepy old lady? That’s me?” — Maddi ([29:39])
• Grandfather Ian (British, crafty)—made bracelets with rattlesnake bones and porcupine quills.
  • “He would bring rattlesnake bones and porcupine needles, and we would make bracelets out of them.” ([31:09])
  • Maddi’s first “kill” as a comedian: “So, I did not meet Ian at a bar.” (8-year-old Maddi delivers this at his funeral; crowd erupts) ([32:00])

Anime Conventions, Gender, and Self-Discovery

[32:53-39:07]

• Maddi’s connection to her grandmother continued through anime and cosplay.
  • “My grandma helped me make my first cosplay…I was 11, dressed as Yuki from Vampire Knight.” ([33:11])
• The anime convention scene: lots of queer, autistic, and trans kids; space for experimentation & identity.
  • “There’s a lot of Kai’s in the trans community. That’s the John Smith of the trans men.” ([34:11])
  • “For a solid month, I thought I was trans. I put a sock in my pants, books on my shoulders. Obviously I’m not, but I explored.” ([34:57])
• First kiss at an anime convention, in cosplay.
  • “My first kiss was at an anime convention…he was dressed as Naruto.” ([36:05])
• Playful stories about “Pocky game” (romantic snack-sharing), Yaoi/Yuri paddles (inside jokes and playful “you’re gay now” moments), and the inclusive, experimental spirit of the community.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On childhood mischief:
  “She’d [Denisha] knock on my door with some trouble, like ‘Hey, I got a lighter today!’” — Maddi ([03:18])

• On being the “weird kid”:
  “I was just a weird ass kid…they’d tape the mats, and I’d just be waiting with my mouth open, waiting for the drool…” — Maddi ([25:56])

• On neighborhood “fight club”:
  “Bobby didn’t want to kiss Caitlin…he just beelined home!” — Maddi ([12:05])

• On discovering identity at anime conventions:
  “For a solid month, when I would dress as boy characters, I was like: am I trans?...Obviously I’m not, but, like, I explored.” — Maddi ([34:57])

• On early stand-up at a funeral:
  “So I did not meet Ian at a bar…Murder.” ([32:00])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment/Story | |--------------|---------------------------------------------| | 01:33–03:29 | Maddi’s multicultural family, intro to neighborhood | | 05:50–06:53 | Laura with two uvulas, neighborhood kids | | 10:56–12:05 | Cul-de-sac “fight club” and Bobby saga | | 21:37–26:14 | Cheerleading, “Pixie stick” stories, quirks, camp bomb | | 29:03–32:38 | Renaissance fair, Patty character, strange crafts, funeral stand-up | | 32:53–39:07 | Anime conventions, cosplay, trans/gay community, first kiss, Pocky game, Yaoi/Yuri paddles |

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Tone and Atmosphere

Warm, unscripted, and riotously funny, the episode showcases both Ryan and Maddi’s skills as storytellers. Ryan’s curiosity and laid-back interviewing style allow Maddi to open up candidly about weird, wonderful childhood adventures, highlighting universal truths about belonging, experimenting with identity, and outsider-turned-insider humor. Their rapport invites listeners into a world both specific and relatable, ending on a poignant note about self-acceptance and cherishing formative, awkward moments.

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Final Shout-Outs & Plugs

Maddi Mays:

• Instagram: @maddimays
• TikTok: @artofmaddiemays
• Tour dates: Punchup Live, major comedy clubs in LA, Atlanta, St. Pete, Chicago, Nashville

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Listen if you like:

• Deep dives into suburban childhood nostalgia
• Hilarious tales of growing up mixed, “weird,” or out-of-place
• Anime conventions, cheerleading culture, and RenFest folklore
• Authentic stories about identity, family, and friendship

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“You’re not pretty beige...You’re brown, but you’re not dark.” — Ryan Sickler ([02:16])

Transcript

[A]

Hey, baby, we gonna be here all day. We're gonna be here all day, baby. I like that kind of party. Welcome back to the Way Back. Everybody. Ryan Sickler here. Ryan Sickler.com and Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Guys, I love this show. I love sitting here bringing people's past to life. And I'm very excited to have this guest back here in the Way Back with us. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Maddie Mays. Welcome to the Way Back. Maddie Maze.

[B]

Hello, hello, Hello.

[A]

Happy to be here.

[B]

Happy to be here.

[A]

I'm glad to have you back here. Well, back here and before we do, right there, tell everybody anything and anything and all of it they want to know about you. Promote it all.

[B]

Well, you can find almost my stuff on social media at Maddy Mays. M A D D I M A Y S. Most people think there's a E. There's no E, M N D D I. I have dates, shows, things like that. I'll be headlining the Belly Room Comedy Store.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

On the 24th. Thank you very much. And I'll be doing the Punchline in Atlanta on August 13th. Joke World Fest, 13th, 14th and 15th in St. Pete, Florida. And then I will be in Chicago at Zany's on the 9th of September. And then I believe I'll be in Nashville December 9th as well. And then we fill in dates.

[A]

That's great. How awesome is Joke World?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I know, right?

[B]

So dope. The fact that they asked me, I was like, oh, But I. I've just been following them since they, like, for forever, and they blew it up.

[A]

Good for them.

[B]

They're the best.

[A]

So let's dive into your past here. You're too young to have ever sat in this seat back here. You told me. So where are you from originally?

[B]

I am from Houston, Texas.

[A]

Okay, Houston, Texas. And tell us about your family. Mom, dad, siblings.

[B]

Yeah, so my. My mom was white. My dad's black and Filipino. I got two older siblings with a different dad. They Vietnamese, So we got two Asians in the house and then two Cubans. Me, my younger brother, you know, well, blazing, you know, little Wakapino's running around and we. Yeah, it was. It was. It was. It was an interesting dynamic. For sure. We definitely. It was. We looked like a weird group. I always felt like I looked adopted, but I was the black one. Of all the siblings, like, you look at the photos, I was a little bit darker.

[A]

Is that right?

[B]

Than everybody else. And I'm not that dark, so. Yeah, you're not yeah, you. You're not.

[A]

You're not.

[B]

Yeah, I'm pretty. You're not pretty. Beige.

[A]

I mean, you're brown, but you're not dark.

[B]

Yeah, but I was definitely compared to my siblings. Oh, yeah, that one, she got a little more, you know, because my younger brother look white. Like, he looks white.

[A]

Really?

[B]

He's freckly and white. Yeah, but, you know, be like that sometimes.

[A]

And do you. Do you guys. Where do you live in Houston? Are you all. Is this the time? What we're talking about right now is when everyone's still together. Mom and dad are together. So where do you guys live?

[B]

We lived in a house in a culdesac in Richmond, Texas. So I was born in Missouri City, Texas. Mo City, which is when people say, where are you from? I say Mo City because they're like, oh, you. Okay, Houston. But you say Richmond.

[A]

They're like, why is that a richer area?

[B]

It's in a way. Yeah, but Missouri City, because they say Mo City. Because it's a song called Mo City dawn that everybody sings along. So if I say that, then they're like, all right, cool, Houston. But I went back to Mo City for middle school, and so, like, I kind of went back and forth, so. No way. So I just say Missouri City. But Richmond, it was this neighborhood called Pecan Grove.

[A]

Oh, this look familiar?

[B]

Oh, my God. Y' all really pulling up my. That's where this girl Denisha used to live. Oh, my God. We used to. Denisha was crazy. She was great. She was the only other black girl that lived on the street. So me and her, she'd knock on my door with some trouble. She'd be like, hey, I got a lighter today.

[A]

And we show up same age as you. Like, same age.

[B]

Yeah. I think she's maybe a year younger. And we sit, go down a little bit further. You see the roof of that. The red house right there on the left? That little roof where those little two cars are right there, the backyard. We would climb on that roof. She goes, let's throw some acorns at people.

[A]

So you're back here and just what? People are walking by their dog and just pelting them with acorns.

[B]

But then she would hide on the other side. But she would always have some trouble. But she. She always started some. If you keep going, you'll get to my house. This is crazy. I haven't seen this in so long.

[A]

This is my favorite. Listen, here's the thing. You're only 28. Yeah, I'm 53.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And I forget every night. You could go back and look at your whole childhood.

[B]

That was my old house.

[A]

This one?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right here with the pillars.

[B]

Yeah. This was a nice house.

[A]

That is a nice house. Nice pretty trees out front. Is that all you guys in there? Like, that's your whole house? Who's this?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

When's the last year someone was there?

[B]

It was too long time ago. 21,000. Because my dad. When my parents divorced, my dad stayed living in there probably till about 2014.

[A]

Oh, hit that 2012.

[B]

Oh, my God. With that basketball court. That was. No, that was the. Oh, my God. I forgot about that car. That's my uncle's car. This is crazy. This is crazy. That was my uncle's car. He gave it to us 2008.

[A]

Look at Denisha. Denisha's up there.

[B]

Oh, my God. That white car out front, that was my dad. My dad bought that car. You see that little. Little diamond logo on there? That was for the cheerleading.

[A]

When you competitive cheer. We'll get to that.

[B]

But that. But that car. Mom made my dad buy it and he sold. He had a. He had like this really nice white sports car. It was like a two seater. And she made him sell it to buy that car to hold the whole family. He was pissed.

[A]

Carson, do a spin around real quick.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

See my c. I'm just curious if there's any other. Oh, that's.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

This is interesting because most the C sacks that I've hung out in didn't horseshoe through like this. It was just a court at the end. We also called it a court. I wasn't called a sack till I learned that later in life.

[B]

Oh, yeah, no, we. We was playing games and.

[A]

Is it a bunch of kids in this area too? Like that'.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

So, like, you're not the only one out there.

[B]

Yeah. So next door. Not on that side. The other side. There was this. That was the ls.

[A]

They live right here.

[B]

Yeah, they live next door. And there was these little boys that lived in there that were about my age and they're like my friends. And then the one next to it was this girl with two uvulas. She had two uvulas.

[A]

How do you know?

[B]

Cuz we could see him. She talked funny. She. So she. So she had two uvulas.

[A]

Would y' all call her?

[B]

Her name was Laura. So you know what I'm saying? We call her Laura, but she taught real like Fleming.

[A]

Nobody had a nickname for somebody with two uvulas.

[B]

No, because everybody else was Craz. So like she lived there and she. I remember she had a pool. She was one with the pool. So we go to her place and swim in the pool. But she's kind of a mean girl. Because if you go across the street, if you turn around, go across the street, in the house. Not that one, the one next to it. By the way, right there with the black car. There was this girl named Caitlin Kane that lived there. And she was bigger than everybody else because she got held back. So she was real big. And she would cry a lot. Cause she would get, you know, she had problems at home, so she would cry a lot. So she would like get mad and throw shit and like cry. And so Laura never wanted to invite her over. So. Kaylin always have a problem.

[A]

But wait, this is a fantastic episode. Cause I feel like everything I asked you before. We ain't fuck.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

I want to know everything going on in this neighborhood right now. You got all of it.

[B]

So Danisha.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

So here's the thing, okay? So if you are.

[A]

Where's Danisha live?

[B]

I'm gonna introduce you to all of the kids and then I'll give you some stories. So go back to my place. That's me right there. Next door at the cross. That was an older lady named Ms. Manley. She lived there. She drove the bus.

[A]

Did she ever sit on that bench? Why would anybody put a bench? Just.

[B]

She just had that.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. But Ms. Manley, I remember she was. She was not that nice. I mean, her name was Ms. Manley, you know, and she drove the bus. But she was nice somewhere.

[A]

Oh, she was the bus driver.

[B]

She was the bus driver for school. So we'd be like, hey, Ms. Manley, you know, if we were on her bus. So I knew.

[A]

Okay, hold on. So the bus driver lives next door to you. Where does she go to pick up the bus to come back to right here where she lives and get these kids?

[B]

I'm going be honest with you.

[A]

Where's your bus stop? In there.

[B]

Our bus stop?

[A]

It was sack Circle there.

[B]

No, we had a bus stop. It was like. Cuz I walked to school. I was actually really close to the elementary school, but for middle school. Because my middle school was in Missouri City, which was further away. Was at the elementary school. Cuz it was like a gifted and talented middle school. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Hold on. I interrupt. We're on our way to Denise's.

[B]

Go across the street from Mrs. Manley. So right there, the white house Right here. So that was the Dreamers. They were some hood ass family from Rhode Island. Hood white family. And they always had, like, it was a bunch of little kids running around in there. And there was this little white girl named Courtney who was like, itty bitty. And then she had a brother named Cody who always reminded me of Bart Simpson. And he always had. He was always angry. And the one next to this girl named Maggie. And on the other side, Maggie lived there. And this other girl named Stephanie lived on the other side of the Dreamers. So that's basically introducing all the kids, right?

[A]

Got like a dozen kids, little pocket.

[B]

And this is just the girlies.

[A]

One corner.

[B]

This is the girlies. And so.

[A]

Oh, damn. It's just the girls, not the.

[B]

But if you. If you turn it around in the cul de sac, all the older boys lived in there.

[A]

So how much older are we talking here?

[B]

My older brother's age, so about like six or seven. Six or seven years older.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So we were in elementary school, and they were in, like, high school school.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So they all lived in there. Right. And so basically, anytime Denisha would come around.

[A]

Where's Denise?

[B]

She said she lived there.

[A]

Right there, huh?

[B]

So anytime.

[A]

That's a big house.

[B]

That's just Texas, though. Texas.

[A]

Everything interesting. Because in Maryland, that's. That's a duplex. A family would have the top floor, Another family have the bottom floor. You go in and it's split level. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, yeah. No, not in Texas.

[A]

So that's all one family's house there. Yeah.

[B]

Did you pull up the backyard? I got inside the house. Oh, my God. This is my old backyard. This is crazy. How did they get a. How did they get a photo of our backyard?

[A]

That's the thing. They have been doing this. There's your house.

[B]

Oh, my God. It look way nicer now.

[A]

Yeah, that's what they do.

[B]

That look nice now.

[A]

They have been taking pictures of our yards and for years.

[B]

Oh, my God. They. For years they made this look nice as hell.

[A]

This ain't what it looked like when y' all were in it. The big Texas star.

[B]

This is not what it look like.

[A]

This might even be AI. These days, I can't even tell anymore.

[B]

The fact that they got all.

[A]

This is your backyard, huh? What games you playing back here?

[B]

We had a swing set, and we would try to see how high we could ride them swings and jump off.

[A]

Would it rock? Was it.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

In the ground Good.

[B]

Yeah, we had the little pebbles on the ground. My little brother Would stick pebbles up his nose and he would have to go to the hospital and get him out the hospital. And they'd be like, just blow, blow. But anytime Denisha lived further away so she could come out of all the drama, go home, and it wouldn't be an issue. But all the drama would stay in our little cul de sac. She would mosey over and have some type of games. So the louv. It was the two boys. They're about the same age as the other girls. Denisha was like, I heard all. I heard two of the girls. So Caitlyn, the big one, had a crush on Bobby. Little one Courtney also had a crush on Bobby. Laura to uvulus also had a crush on Bobby.

[A]

So Bobby was the dude.

[B]

Bobby was the dude. Bobby was my homie. You know what I'm saying? Because we would. We lived next door. So our. My parents would drop us off over to there. We'd go to school together. No, Bobby was. That was my dog. And so they were like, well, since all you got a crush on Bobby, you guys should fight for his love. So Denisha had these fight clubbing. And we turn around in Stephanie turcot's front yard. Where.

[A]

Where is this going down?

[B]

Right there, right there, right there, that little curve.

[A]

Little girls are beating the Bobby even there.

[B]

Bobby's watching with his arms folding. Why are you watching? Because Denisha's like, the winner gets to kiss Bobby. That's what it was. But thing is, Caitlyn was bigger than everybody else. So Courtney and. And Laura getting at it. Obviously, you know, Courtney, Laura uvula, you know, she was spoiled. So, like, she couldn't really fight. Courtney was a little hood Rhode island white girl. So she beat the out of Laura. But then Caitlyn, big ass Moses on over beats the out of Courtney, Beats the dog out of that little girl. And then Bobby, obviously Caitlyn wins. And Denisha's like, all right, Caitlyn's the winner. Bobby, it's time to kiss Caitlyn. Bobby didn't want to kiss Caitlyn. Bobby won because Caitlin was a rule.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? And he looked at her and he looked at us and he looked at her and he just ran home. He just ran. Beeline just ran home just as fast as. And then Courtney would or not Courtney. Caitlin was so upset. Mind you, first time I met Caitlyn, she was a year older because I said she got held back. And so she came during 4th of July one year. I think it was maybe like third grade, second or Third grade and my mom and her mom were talking like, oh yeah, they just moved across the street. You guys should be friends. You're going to be in the same grade. And I'm like, okay, yeah, we can be friends. And at the time I was really into running.

[A]

Running, Jalen. What?

[B]

No, I mean, shit, you'll see. I would run because twilight had came out and in my head I'm like, I'm a go vampire mode. So I would just be outside running

[A]

down the street and if I hot ass Houston heat. And you're out there,

[B]

capital world Mona. And I remember in my head I'm like, if I lock in, I'm going vampire mode and I'm going faster. So I thought I was going, I thought I was fast. And so, you know, and at nighttime it unlocked the powers in a way. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

That was you, right?

[B]

That was me. That was me. And so Caitlyn, I remember, I said, right, well you want to race? And she was like, yeah, we can race. And I said, okay. And we getting ready to race. And in my head I'm like, oh, I'm about to, I'm about to dust this when I tell you we about to go. As soon as I'm about to start running like three.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Respect.

[B]

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[A]

You weren't either.

[B]

He took off. She's big as. So she pushed me down biggest. So it hurt. I have still have a scar, I'm a fucking elder from that right there that she shut me down. And I remember just being like. My mom was just like. It happened. And I was just like. And all the fireworks are going on because also the fireworks went crazy too, because the. The older boys, they built PVC pipes and they were shooting shit down the street and they put it in the. They put it in the. The gutters and stuff, and the fireworks come out the gutters whole thing. Caitlin pushed me down. And I'm like, mom, like, I don't like Caitlyn. I don't like Caitlyn at all. And she was like, well, you, you know, you be nice to her. I'm like, no, Mom, I don't like Caitlin. I don't like it. And then when she got. And she beating everybody up, they were like, maddie, you want to join in? I'm like, I could.

[A]

I could go a couple De Niro stomps in there.

[B]

I definitely was like, I could fight him. And then I looked it up and I was like, there's no one for the fight.

[A]

But I'll say, I've told this story before. I'm going to tell you, and I'll. I'll make it quicker. But this is. This is. I mean, talking about a girl fight in high school, like, I mean, it was vicious.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And I wasn't expecting, like, these girls both had older brothers and I wasn't expecting. I was expecting hair pulling and, you know, slapping. Like I'd seen, I had seen. This is the first time I've seen titties in my life, in real life. Okay, So a friend of ours is actually a year older than this kid is being bullied by this younger kid. And he knows our friend is soft. He's not gonna fight back. So this kid is. Even though he's a year younger, we're 10th grade, we're on the bus. He's 9th grade, we're 15, 14. When I'm a license, he's, you know, all the fucking time. And we're telling our buddy, fuck him up. Teach him a fucking lesson. Yeah. And so one day, after months, our friend finally is like, fuck that. I've had enough. And when we get off the bus, they drop us off at this church.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's a cemetery goes around the back. There's a little yard out front, and that's where the bus stop was. And our friend gets off and he starts beating the out of this kid. Finally, after, like a year of bullying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And while he's on top of him, just going to work, this girl who's friends with the boy who's now losing comes up and she just punts our buddy in the nuts. I mean, just ha. With leather boots. And it's still to this day, it makes me laugh because he pulled his knees to his stomach right away and he just rolled off. But he just goes, somebody get hurt. Somebody get her, please. And she took off. Well, I lived next door at the time to this girl named Shannon Moriarty.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And Shannon was. She had older brothers who were Harley, you know, rode the bikes. She's a lot of denim. She's a good kid, but, you know, she grew up rough. So she saw what happened, and she went up to that girl and she said, for a year, your friend has bullied our friend, and he's finally stuck for himself. And he was teaching him a lesson. And you go in and do that. She said, tomorrow I'm gonna you up. We get on that bus to go home the next day.

[B]

I ain't got no balls. You can't do that little super move.

[A]

And Shannon Moriarty walked to the back of the bus where that girl was sitting with her glasses on. And Shannon Moriarty said, bam. Right in her face with the glasses and said, there's gonna be plenty more of that when we get off the bus. And when we got off that bus,

[B]

she gave her an appetizer.

[A]

I'm telling you. Yes, she did. She let her think about that. Like, taste your blood and think about that a little bit.

[B]

Just spit the tooth out.

[A]

That girl tried to run. Shannon got off the bus first, grabbed her and I mean, hood, you know, ripped her shirt open. The girl had big boobs, so she ripped the show. So we're all like, yeah, you know, that's what I'm saying. First time I ever saw tits is because this girl's 80s humiliating her. This would have been 1988. Yeah, 1988. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. This is middle school, you said.

[A]

No, I'm a sophomore in high school.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I graduate 91. So it's been 88. And the younger kid was a freshman, 87. But we're all on the same bus because, you know, we're all going to the same high school.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she beat the out of this. I mean, like, it looked like she had older brothers. You know what I mean? Like, I'm. Like, I'm. Whatever's going on in your house, Shannon, I'm sorry.

[B]

I'm sorry. So sorry, girl.

[A]

But she is taking it out on this chick right here. And then my buddy's not going to hit a girl or anything, so he goes in her backpack and he takes her binder, and he just starts throwing her. He just rips all the pa. He's skipping around the cemetery, just letting all her homework everywhere and. And, bro, that was the end of that. And I will. I'm telling you, it was shocking to see her walk up and just, I mean, punch her in the face.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Closed. Like, she knew what she was doing.

[B]

She followed through.

[A]

Boom.

[B]

She did the follow through.

[A]

And the girl had glasses. She couldn't believe that she had glasses. And you gave her that. There's gonna be plenty more that when you get off.

[B]

Like, oh, my God, that's crazy. I've actually never been in a real fight. Never been in a real fight. But I feel like I got the confidence that I know I'd do all right. But I'm an adult now. You know what I'm saying? I got a little nose. I can't. You know what I mean? My mom was like, don't you. That nose up. Don't you. That nose got a nice nose.

[A]

It's a natural nose.

[B]

It's a natural nose. That's mom's nose.

[A]

Is it mom's?

[B]

It's both.

[A]

Is it?

[B]

It's both good combo.

[A]

That's what they. They say. You know, my stepson's mixed, too. And they say mixed humans tend to get the best. Not always tend to, like, allergies and things like that. Do you have allergies and like that?

[B]

I definitely, yeah. But I. I've had not a lot of allergies, but I like. I mean, I have a bunch of other little things, but I knew this kid named Hellbert who was black and Filipino and you think ought to be a beautiful mix. No helper. Look like a muffin hell, but look like a blueberry Muffin.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Just real, like, big old eyebrow down here. You know what I'm saying? Eyes were just deep in the head. Real cheeks. And he just would not. He was not cute. Looked like a muffin. So, you know, it's. You would think, mixed kids sometimes and sometimes not. Yeah, there's some ugly and parents be upset. They were like, I did this.

[A]

Whose hair this up?

[B]

Who did this?

[A]

Let's go to competitive cheer, because you mentioned that sticker on the car. So you're. I'm a cheer dad. I'm a competitive cheer dad. So, you know, my daughter's 11, so it's that age I'm at right now. But there, I have to say, all the shows I've seen, and obviously they're produced, but I haven't seen that yet. I say yet.

[B]

I don't know. What do you mean?

[A]

I haven't seen any parents get crazy or.

[B]

It's not like it used to be.

[A]

I've seen certainly, like, where the judges favor a certain organization or one. A legacy thing or what. I see the. You know, that's everywhere, though. But I haven't seen any parents fighting

[B]

or any of that because everybody got phones now. Everybody got phones.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not like how it used to be.

[A]

Did you ever see that? Any of that?

[B]

I mean, I've heard some stories for sure, because I was just. I was a weird kid in cheerleading. I was in the back.

[A]

Were you a base? Were you a flyer? Were you front spot, back spot?

[B]

Well, I was a flyer for a little bit because I was like. I started when I was three, so I was.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I didn't know they did that.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think they should.

[A]

Three years old, exactly.

[B]

With the way they'd be like, give us a high iv. I mean, I wasn't even doing it. I was supposed to be doing three. I was supposed to.

[A]

I was supposed to be napping right now.

[B]

I was in there. Oh, my God. I was three years old, doing all they were. And they would have the coaches at the front of the mat trying to tell us where to go. We just be running around like, can you please? Like, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. The parents. I mean, the parents would get very into it. The parents would get way too. I don't know. Like, they. They would talk a lot of. I mean, the fights my mom got in, you know.

[A]

What do you mean? Who's she fighting with? I mean, my mom never got arguments.

[B]

Yeah, but they would always be some arguments, though. They were all Real petty. Because my mom, we didn't have a. Like, it seemed like we had a lot of money just based on the house, but like, we, we didn't have like a lot of money. It's also four kids, you know what I'm saying? So it's like we got a big ass house because we needed the space. But the. My mom worked at the gym and so, you know. Okay, parents would be, you know, they'd have money, you know, because this chilling's expensive. This is expensive.

[A]

I'm aware.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, we got a home uniform and away uniform, an alternate one. We got a baseball jersey, we got a hood. I'm like, what do we need all this?

[B]

That's what I'm saying. You got to buy new shoes every season.

[A]

Every season. What? Our feet are growing. You got to. What you can do about that.

[B]

Yeah. And like you can put. You can't put no bags and freeze them with the little ice and let them expand and she can't do that. No, but we, you know, but we. I mean, like I had hand me downs to my older sister. I would, once I fit into her stuff, I'd wear her stuff. But my mom would just have to deal with these parents. The parents were the worst. But like, it was crazy because before we perform, they would give us a pixie stick. Yeah, this is like a cocaine pipe.

[A]

I'm about to say. They're just coking you up.

[B]

Yes. We'd have our. We do warm ups and before we get on.

[A]

It's only a three minute routine. Listen, I might be giving these kids pixie sticks.

[B]

Yeah, they give us pixels.

[A]

Did you do good?

[B]

I mean, I definitely was. I. I was a. I have, you know, at the time I had undiagnosed rdhd. So. So like, it's Audi hd. So like a combination of autism and adhd.

[A]

Oh, autism. So not adhd. Yeah, it's a little bit of attention deficit hyper disorder. But you're Audi so.

[B]

A little bit. A little bit odds. So it's like the spectrum of like, kind of, Kind of.

[A]

Are you splashing autism in there right now?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I got a little. Okay, so autism and adhd.

[A]

Yeah, and adhd. Okay.

[B]

I got a little cocktail of the two. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

My younger brother is more autistic. Like you see it, it's very much there. You gotta, you know, he got it. But with me it was very alive. Maddie's just quirky and distracted and she'd just be looking around and she just fixates on the things she like to fixate on. But I would have to, like, they would. I was a front spot. Because, like, just. Just hold her knees, hold her legs, hold her. Just do that. All right. Do your tumbling pass. Just go other. And they would just do the thing and they would just tell me. And I would always just be like, okay, now I go. And so I was, you know, one of those kids. But like, I would get really distracted. I would do a lot of weird shit. Like, you know how they have the tape on the mats. I would do this thing where I would just like be in the corner and I'd be waiting my turn and I would just have my mouth open like that and I'll wait for the drool to hit the line. I don't know why that open. At the time. I was trying to.

[A]

Undiagnosed.

[B]

Yeah, I was just. The little dots.

[A]

Are we trying to slurp it back up or you're just trying to hit this?

[B]

No, I was just trying to hit it. I was trying to hit in the center.

[A]

That just sounds like fun.

[B]

I was breaking nobody. I was just. And they'd be like, Maddie, while you're

[A]

supposed to be paying attention, though. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

Another guys.

[B]

Yeah. But I did anytime. And I was weird. Like, I only had like, like one or two other friends because I was just a weird ass kid. But even like we did cheer camp and this is the funny. This, this story. This is the first time I bombed. So.

[A]

Yeah, this is your first bombing. First public.

[B]

Real bomb. Like, like it hurt bomb. That I remember to this day. I remember we did cheer camp. And all the girls, they had had like a bunch of inside jokes because, you know, they stayed. It would be a group of four girls, two beds kind of thing for cheer camp, for the hotel rooms. And it'd be like, the cool girls always are kind of together. The cool black girls always be kind of together. And it was the weird always got stuck together. So it'd be me and the other weird. And you know what I'm saying? Some girl named Darby and some, you know, goofy little. And so I remember the cool girls kept talking about how they were like, oh, so and so kept farting all night. Because she kept farting all night. And they were like, yeah, like we gave each other nicknames. And she was like. Like, she's Pooty 1, she's Pooty 2. That's Pooty 3, and that's Pooty 4. And I had went to the gift shop because we would go to Schlitterbahn, which is like a little water park at the end of the cheer camp. Yep, there it is. We go to Schlittervine.

[A]

So this is where we're all going to, like, you know, at the end of

[B]

my fun as hell. But we will go there after at the end of the camp. And I remember going, your mom letting

[A]

you go to Schlitterbaum but not playing the Gustavo.

[B]

No, we couldn't play no Gestapo. We'll talk about Gestapo in a second. But we would go. And I would go to the gift shop because she always gave me $20. So I was like, well, I'm gonna get something from the gift shop. And I bought one of those silly putty things in the little container that if you put your finger in, it will fart. Mm. So they're on the bus of my. She's putty one, she's pooty two, she's pooty three, she's putty four. And I remember, I said, well, this is pooty 5000. And I on foom. And it. Complete silence.

[A]

Just the fart enough.

[B]

Not one. And they all looked at me, and they're like, you just ruined it.

[A]

Ruined it over now.

[B]

You ruined it. And they, like, turn around and face force.

[A]

And when I tell you guys, I'm yes. Handing this. No.

[B]

Literally. And I remember the whole way home, I just stared. I put my head against the window. I'm on the bus just crying whole way home.

[A]

You try to get tears, and in a certain.

[B]

I'm trying to land it in the. In the ceiling.

[A]

The fl.

[B]

Trying to land the tears in the fl. When I tell you all,

[A]

you were like, man, I got this, yo.

[B]

I said. I said, well, this is Pooty 5000. And then complete silence.

[A]

Too funny.

[B]

I bombed so hard at it.

[A]

Okay. I'd asked you some things before, and you'd mentioned Renaissance festivals with Grandma. I want to hear about this.

[B]

Yeah. My grandma worked at Renaissance Festival for Upwards.

[A]

Doing what?

[B]

She did it for about 30 years. She did a couple different characters and then settled on being a tarot reader. But one of the characters she created, she said she based after me, which I found, looking back, incredibly offensive because the character's name was Patty, but she's an old lady, so she would just pretend to be a child in an old lady's body. And she would have this doll, and she would scare the out of people. And she says, I'm Patty, and they should do this little thing. It's like, respectfully, she'll be like, what? Then they were like, oh, yeah. It's like I based it off of Maddie.

[A]

I'm like, maddie Patty.

[B]

Yeah. But I'm like. I'm like, so I'm.

[A]

I'm the creepy old lady.

[B]

That's me. And I thought it was. I mean, looking back, I'm like, oh, like, this was her making a character, building a character. It's not fair. And then she ended up doing tarot reading for a long time. But she would be with all, like, the Rennies. They would all do the camps and do all the Ren Fair. So.

[A]

So I'm saying she's going out there for days and be like, oh, and where? Around the country? Or is this just a Texas.

[B]

Just a Texas for her. Texas Renfrew. Yeah, Texas one.

[A]

So there would be every year, just yearly.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. She hasn't done in a long time, but she. She would do that. And she has some weird friends. She has some weird friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They'd be like, oh, look at all. Can see all the spirit orbs around Maddie. She's so special. All the fairies are all around her. But I was like, a weird kid. I'll build fairy houses, and kids come and step on them. It was up.

[A]

He stepped on your ferry.

[B]

That was still on my fair. I would be building it, too. And they were like. And I was like, I'll get you one day. Like, I know. Never. Never did anything. You never did anything. I just was like, all right.

[A]

But you would go to the festivals with grandma.

[B]

Not all the time. I remember there was one particular year that we had went dress.

[A]

Or would you just go as a guest?

[B]

I would just go. I just pull up and be there for the turkey legs and the festivities, you know? But she. I didn't spend a lot of time at Renfest, but I did spend a lot of time with my grandma. With both my grandmas. She. She. She. She had a. Her last husband. He had passed away. His name is Ian. He was this British guy. Hey, baby. And he would bring rattlesnake bones and porcupine needles, and we would make bracelets out of them. Yeah. He was just real crafty.

[A]

You still have one of those somewhere.

[B]

It's got to be somewhere.

[A]

You have a rattlesnake bone bracelet. Bracelet, yeah.

[B]

And porcupine Pokemon needles. Yeah. He cut the tips off so we wouldn't get hurt. But he was like. He's like, let's make. Let's make jewelry. Let's make jewelry. He was from London. Let's make jewelry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, okay. All Right. And he would just smoke a cigarette while we be making the shit. And he was making jewelry. He was doing that. He was cool as fuck.

[A]

Kirsten, look up rattlesnake and porcupine bracelets. I gotta see. He can't be the only one that did these.

[B]

You know what's funny? When Ian had died at his funeral, that was the first time I really landed a joke. Well, yeah, everybody at the funeral kept saying, oh, I met Ian at a bar. I met Ian at a bar. I met Ian at a bar. I was like 8 years old. I went. The thing I said, I want to talk. I get up. There I go. So I did not meet Ian at a bar. Murder.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Demolished at the funeral. It's so easy to kill at a funeral. That's low key. One of my favorite places to do stand up. Is that a funeral? Yeah, kind of like that. You see how like the little tooth looking things? Yeah, those. Yeah, but we. But we just. It was just a bunch of vertebrae all together and. Yeah, we made. Made the bracelets. Oh, I never thought to line them up, though.

[A]

The were you doing?

[B]

Well, they were just loose. They were just loose and twisted up. I never thought to line them up like the actual vertebrate.

[A]

Oh, I see what you mean. Like put them in order.

[B]

I just kind of. Yeah, I just had them loose. Like that look like a little things I remember having at school.

[A]

And just like, that's crazy.

[B]

I should be like, this is my rattlesnake.

[A]

You're one of these on Etsy tonight. You see me out there at the club Rattlesnake.

[B]

You would too. He's like, you know it's rattlesnake, right?

[A]

You know, it's rattling. Rattling makes me immune to that. Let's close out with anime convention. So you were. You're a big anime girl.

[B]

Yeah. So that's really good connection to my grandma. Because my grandma. Hi, baby. My grandma was really into anime too. And so she. The costuming. She's so cute. The costuming stuff. Because my grandma helped me make my first cosplay for the anime. Because I was like. It was. I was 11.

[A]

What was it?

[B]

It was this character named Yuki from Vampire Night. I was really into vampire. So when I go to Barnes and Noble, my dad was like, his Barnes and Noble. I'm like, can I please get him? Can I please get a manga? Can I get an anime? He's like, yeah, you can get one. And I was really into vampires. So this was literally called Vampire Night. So I said, I'm Getting this one. It was a weird, weird one. It got weird. It definitely got weird. But it. It was. It was fun. And she was like a little schoolgirl uniform. And I made a scythe that she carried, and I made it out of wood, and I carried my scythe around the convention and I did. It was. It was a good time. But I was like, 11, but for a solid. Like, I started dressing up as boy characters for a little bit. The more friends I made. And a lot of people in anime conventions are autistic and gay and kind of trans. A lot of trans people.

[A]

Is that right?

[B]

And so for what kind of trans where their Facebook name. When their Facebook profile changes the name. So it went from, like, Amber to, like, Kai.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A lot of Kai's in the trans community.

[A]

Is that right? That's John. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's the John Smith of the. The trans men. Kai is the John Smith of the trans man for show. And I remember, too, like, yeah, girl, I knew so many. And I remember I had, like, an anime convention girlfriend for a little bit. And, like, I would go there because I was like, oh, I can, like, not be myself. Yeah, because, you know, you deal with imposter syndrome and when you're a kid and mixed. Whatever, whatever. And I remember for a solid month when I would dress as boy characters, I was like, am I trans?

[A]

And we're live on match day as Doug reaches for a buffalo wing. He's got it. Oh, and he's gone for a cannon. Pepsi, too. What a finish. There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Match days deserve Pepsi.

[B]

And like, when I was 13, I thought I was transfer a month. Obviously I'm not. Obviously I'm not. But, like, I would be dressing up and I was like, I remember I took like, a sock I put in my pants. I was like, do I like this? Do I like the way this feels? I took books and put them on my shoulders. See what I look like with broad shoulders. I was really in it. And then obviously I'm not. I mean, I'm just got rambunctious energy. But, like, I'm not trans. You being so in. In listening and like, you really a good dad.

[A]

I'm a good listener.

[B]

Yeah, you good dad.

[A]

But I. I'm hearing what you're going through. I'm also. I'm also in my mind. I'm like, wondering, what kind of books was it?

[B]

There were a little like. No, it was like, Fahrenheit 451.

[A]

Paperback.

[B]

Little paperback. Something flexible would you put in your pants. Oh, so soft. Yeah, but it was. It was a tube. A long Nike sock.

[A]

Just to see.

[B]

Because if I had a dick, it'd be big.

[A]

Yeah, I believe that. I mean, especially if you get to choose. Why would you get a microphone? Get the pick one.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I. Basically, as a girl, you kind of just already have it.

[A]

Did you meet anyone there? Did you. You said you had a girlfriend, but I mean, did you like.

[B]

I made so many friends.

[A]

Did you date in that scene?

[B]

My first kiss was at an anime convention.

[A]

In costume?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your first ever real kiss was in a cop. What costume were you?

[B]

I was. It was. I basically did. I did the same outfit I wore at my first convention, the little vampire Night character. But I put on a different wig to be like a girl version of a different character. But I had a Pikachu hat on too. I remember that. But the guy who I first kissed with, he was dressed as Naruto.

[A]

I don't even know who that is. Who's Naruto?

[B]

You don't know Naruto? You don't know Naruto?

[A]

Is it more about Naruto than the dude that was in the costume?

[B]

100 100.

[A]

Oh, this guy is.

[B]

Pull up the character though. Don't pull up this goofy ass cosplay.

[A]

This is the guy. Yeah, this is actually.

[B]

I mean, in a way, kind of not far off. Yeah, he's the little blonde. He was just as Naruto. I never liked Naruto. I liked Sasuke, the one with the dark hair next to him. But he was dressed as Naruto. But it was crazy because it was a little.

[A]

But we had Usama Siddiqui on here and he was blown away because I'm 53 and I don't know this guy. But I wrote and produced kids cartoon promos for years.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And I did.

[B]

He's.

[A]

You're gonna make fun of the way I say it too. But I did Dragon Ball Z. I'd never even heard of Dragon Ball Z before. And I was like this. And I got so into it. I was like, yeah, it's incredible story.

[B]

It's incredible.

[A]

Yu Gi. Oh, he makes fun of the way I say Yu Gi. Oh yeah, you say Yu Gi. Oh, yu. Yo. And I had all these. Hold the whole anime block. I would do all these shows, so. But that one I didn't know. Yeah, but I did know about the conventions and all. But I didn't know about the trans stuff and the community within. I just knew, you know, everybody was on some gay.

[B]

That's where. That's where. Because you go there, you play the podcast.

[A]

Funny now that you say this. The last time we had a competition at convention center downtown la. Yes. The room next to it was an anime convention for the weekend and they were all rolling in in their costumes.

[B]

That's so funny. Yeah. No, you. We was. We was in there especially whenever I first. The first time I got to stay at the hotel, me and my friends, I have my little David's little outfits called Kigurumis, which is like the little onesies. And you've been there. You keep your wig on from the day and you put on the Kiku kid. I cosplay. You be in there with your friends. We be playing the Pocky game. You know. You know what Pocky is so Pocky is the little. Little biscuit treat with the little. You see it at the grocery store. It's like a little stick and it's like got like icing on it.

[A]

The little chocolate dipsticks. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

But the pocket game would be like. You would find somebody that you liked and they would lady and the tramp with it and they would get the other end. You would eat and see, you could break first. But it would look to be an excuse to do gay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They had that. They had. Yeah.

[A]

Fist fight and see who's gonna kiss Maddie Maze.

[B]

No, I wasn't trying to kiss Bobby. That was my homie. No, but they. They would do that. They would. They had a Yowie paddle. Yowie Yowie is a gay pornography in anime.

[A]

So it's. Would you say it's gay porn in anime?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So.

[B]

So much boy love.

[A]

There's just so much.

[B]

Yeah, that's the paddle. They would hit you with the Yowie paddle. And that means you gay now. Oh, that's how it works. And then the Yuri paddle be like, you gay now.

[A]

You're gay if you get hit by it. Hold on. Have you seen the video of the guy that get hits by.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I mean, I think that guy. That's what it looked like. I think he might have been gay already. You know what I mean? I mean we might be reinforcing was already obvious.

[B]

Everybody body see, it was a thing.

[A]

Have you seen the video? The guy that gets hit by the chair and he turns gay.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Have, you know, cursed and look this up. It always says, I don't want to get hit by the chair. That makes you gay. The guy gets. Just look up. I know exactly what you're Ridiculous.

[B]

I remember that. That was funny as. That was funny as. No, because he did. He became gay. He melts into the heat.

[A]

Melts into the. Guys. She's rubbing his chest. No.

[B]

When he starts, he pulls his.

[A]

Look at him. Look at him over here. Yeah.

[B]

And he gets a hit.

[A]

Guy on the left. Have you seen this? Kirsten, watch. Watch him. Watch. Look, he ain't done. Look, he ain't done.

[B]

Yo. It's also like he went right for that.

[A]

This is the guy I worked with. I was telling you it went past me and I couldn't talk about you.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Look at the chair. That made him gay right here.

[B]

But then the guy accepted him, too.

[A]

He left the shirt. I got you.

[B]

I got you. Don't worry about it. I got you. I got you. Yeah.

[A]

You're in luck, Maddie Maze. Thank you for doing this. This was a lot of fun. Before we wrap up again, right there, please promote everything you'd like.

[B]

Yeah, I like I said Instagram at Maddie Mays. M A D D I M A Y S Tick tock. I think it's just Art of Maddie Maze because I thought I was gonna be drawn on there and was not just regular stand up. Same thing. And then. Yeah, my dates. If you go to my Punch up Punchup Live, Maddie Mays. I have all of my dates listed there. I believe I said July 24, the Comedy Store, August 13, Atlanta Punchline, joke World Fest, and then all the other things will be listed there. You can go and check it out. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for doing this.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

You got it. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to y' all next. Next weekend.