60: The Wayback #60 | John Farley

Summary

Episode Summary: The Wayback #60 | John Farley

Podcast Title: The Wayback with Ryan Sickler
Host: Ryan Sickler
Guest: John Farley
Release Date: February 20, 2025
Duration: Approximately 41 minutes

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Introduction

In the 60th episode of The Wayback with Ryan Sickler, Ryan welcomes John Farley, a member of the legendary Farley family, best known for the iconic comedian Chris Farley. The episode delves into John’s nostalgic recollections of growing up in a large family, his experiences at boarding school, and heartfelt stories about his late brother Chris. The conversation is filled with humor, heartfelt moments, and reflections on family dynamics.

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Guest Background and Introduction

[00:38] John Farley: "I like this kind of party."

Ryan opens the episode by expressing gratitude to his listeners and introducing John Farley. John humorously references their setting in the "Wayback" as reminiscent of the Farley family station wagon, aptly named the "fucking Farley family Truckster."

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John Farley’s Documentary: "Meet Me Where I Am"

[01:42] John Farley: "Meet me where I am means you're meeting somebody. Wherever you are, that's where you should be."

John introduces his documentary, Meet Me Where I Am, a poignant exploration of grief. Available on platforms like Tubi, Apple TV, and Amazon, the film features experts discussing grief's universal nature and the importance of remembering loved ones. John emphasizes that grief affects everyone, regardless of their background, and the documentary offers valuable insights and advice for those navigating loss.

[01:42] John Farley: "It's a great little documentary. It's about an hour and a half."

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Growing Up in a Large Family

Family Dynamics and Childhood Memories

[03:07] Ryan Sickler: "So obviously brothers with Chris Farley. You guys have a family of five? Well, seven. Mom and dad. Five siblings. Mom and dad."

John shares anecdotes about growing up in a bustling household with five siblings, including the beloved Chris Farley. He reminisces about the family station wagon, filled with lively interactions and sibling camaraderie.

[04:05] Ryan Sickler: "Do you know?"

[04:06] John Farley: "We had a... I bought one for this show. I'm still got to figure out how to set it up..."

John discusses the use of CB radios in their cars, highlighting the playful nicknames each sibling had, such as his own handle, "Mosquito Hawk," and Chris's "Canon."

[04:35] John Farley: "Kevin went off to college... I went to boarding school."

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Vacation Traditions

[05:24] Ryan Sickler: "So you're a big family. When you're vacationing, are you guys a flying family? Are you a driving family?"

John explains the family's vacation habits, typically traveling together to destinations like Florida and Vail. He shares humorous and sometimes harrowing experiences, such as nearly drowning due to his glasses falling into a pool slide.

[06:52] Ryan Sickler: "Your dad was 700 pounds?"

[06:54] John Farley: "Yeah, he's a big guy, so that's really big."

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Boarding School Adventures

[08:10] John Farley: "I went to boarding school. Portsmouth Abbey."

John recounts his time at Portsmouth Abbey, an all-boys boarding school in Rhode Island. His stories paint a vivid picture of the strict environment and his mischievous escapades, including sneaking alcohol and staging pranks that led to his temporary expulsion.

[09:09] Ryan Sickler: "Let’s look this up. Kirsten."

John humorously shares the school's administration dynamics, including interactions with the headmaster—a former monk who ultimately quits after individuals get expelled.

[13:02] Ryan Sickler: "The monks had beer in there?"

[13:04] John Farley: "Yeah, for like parties or like, you know..."

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Sibling Shenanigans and Family Stories

Growing Up with Chris Farley

[14:33] Ryan Sickler: "Give me some funny, funny Chris stories growing up."

John provides a heartfelt and humorous account of life with Chris Farley. From discussing mischievous pranks to witnessing Chris's entertaining antics, such as dressing up as Santa at summer camp or causing harmless chaos in the family home.

[21:32] John Farley: "Chris was like, we're gonna go kneeboarding. And he was in the back and Kevin gunned it and Chris's swim trunks immediately went off."

A particularly memorable story involves Chris Farley accidentally becoming naked on a jet boat, eliciting laughter from friends and family while creating an unforgettable moment.

Family Antics

[29:25] Ryan Sickler: "Did you guys ever get in fights?"

[29:27] John Farley: "Chris is like, holy..."

John shares stories of sibling fights, often escalating into humorous situations, illustrating the lively and close-knit nature of the Farley family.

Unique Family Traditions

[32:03] John Farley: "We burn things like that. Should be fun."

John reminisces about family traditions, including accidentally causing fires and engaging in playful destruction around the house. These stories highlight the chaotic yet loving environment he grew up in.

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Memorable Family Locations

John describes various family homes on Farwell Drive, each with its unique characteristics and stories. From a house with challenging driveways to one with a beautiful lake, these environments provided the backdrop for many of his childhood memories.

[35:10] John Farley: "There was a... There was this concert stunt night where Chris perfected a few funny bits."

John speaks fondly of Red Arrow Camp, where the Farley brothers first showcased their comedic talents, leading to their future in entertainment.

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, John reiterates the importance of his documentary, Meet Me Where I Am, encouraging listeners to watch it for those dealing with grief. Ryan expresses his appreciation for John’s candid storytelling and the joy of revisiting such personal and heartfelt memories.

[39:37] John Farley: "I love this backseat of this fucking station wagon. I want one of these. But they're... I'm not buying."

The conversation concludes with promotional remarks from Ryan about his upcoming tours and special events, leaving listeners with a sense of warmth and nostalgia.

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Notable Quotes

• John Farley [01:42]: "Meet me where I am means you're meeting somebody. Wherever you are, that's where you should be."

• John Farley [07:10]: "We had a bit of a we problem family."

• John Farley [21:32]: "Chris was like, we're gonna go kneeboarding. And he was in the back and Kevin gunned it and Chris's swim trunks immediately went off."

• John Farley [32:03]: "We burn things like that. Should be fun."

• John Farley [39:37]: "I love this backseat of this fucking station wagon. I want one of these. But they're... I'm not buying."

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Final Remarks

Episode 60 of The Wayback with Ryan Sickler offers an engaging and heartfelt glimpse into the Farley family life through John Farley's eyes. Filled with laughter, touching moments, and nostalgic reflections, this episode serves as a tribute to family bonds and the enduring legacy of Chris Farley.

For more insights and stories, visit ryansickler.com and follow Ryan on his social media platforms. Don't miss out on upcoming live shows and specials!

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

San Jose. I'm bringing the Live and alive tour your way. I'll be at the San Jose Improv Friday, February 28th, and Saturday, March 1st, Madison, Wisconsin. I'm excited to announce I'm shooting my next special at your club, Comedy on State. I was there not too long ago, had such a great time, such a great club. I'm excited to work with them and bring you my next special. Two shows Saturday, April 12th. Get your tickets [e-mail].

[John Farley]

Hey, baby, we gonna be here all day.

[Ryan Sickler]

We're gonna be here all day, baby.

[John Farley]

I like this kind of party.

[Ryan Sickler]

Welcome back to the Way Back. I'm Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler.com. ryan Sickler, on all your social media, starting this episode like I start all of them by saying thank you, gratitude, thank you for supporting this show. This show is my new favorite thing to do. You guys are really supporting it. Please subscribe, watch, tell everybody. This is a fun show to do. I love diving into people's childhoods and bringing, you know, those moments to life. Come see me on tour. Tickets to my tour out now on my website. If I'm in your town when you're around, pick them up. Come see a live show. Everything's available on my [e-mail] all right. Very excited to have this guest here with me in the Way Back. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome John Farley. Hey, y'all, welcome. Welcome to the Way Back.

[John Farley]

I'll do Ryan. This is great. The way back means the way back of the station wagon.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

And this is the fucking Farley family Truckster. We had this goddamn thing. It was me and Kevin back here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hold on. Promote your movie.

[John Farley]

Got it. Promote all the movie and then we'll.

[Ryan Sickler]

Get into your story.

[John Farley]

The reason I'm sitting in this chair in the Way Way Back is in the Way Back is because I did a movie, documentary kind of style movie called Meet Me Where I Am. And you can find it on Tubi. You can find it on Apple TV and Amazon. And it's, it's a good story. It's a documentary on grief. So there's a lot of experts that are on there. Not me. I just. Funny thing about grief is everyone can experience it. You don't have to be a doctor. And everyone does eventually will. You will all have grief. At some point. Something's going to die in your life. Maybe a plant to a next door neighbor to a wife or whatever. So these guys give some good advice. So it's a great little documentary. It's about an hour and a half, Right? About an hour and a half. And it goes through a bunch of stories of people that have lost and lived. Lived on, keeping their memory alive and things like that. It's great. Meet me. Where I am means you're meeting somebody. Where they are means right where you are. Wherever you are, that's where you should be.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's where you're at. That's where you're gonna meet.

[John Farley]

That's where you're gonna meet. Wherever you are. Doesn't matter where it is. As long as it's not on the side of a bridge or anything like that. You should probably meet in a safe spot. Right, right, right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like the way back.

[John Farley]

Yes, like the way.

[Ryan Sickler]

So obviously brothers with Chris Farley. You guys have a family of five? Well, seven. Mom and dad. Five siblings. Mom and dad.

[John Farley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you have one. I always start the episode if someone ever sat back here, and you right away were like, this is me and Kevin.

[John Farley]

Kevin and I.

[Ryan Sickler]

Go ahead, tell me. What did you have? What kind of car?

[John Farley]

Do you remember the. The estate wagon at one point? I can't find it. I wanted to buy one of these station wagons. You can't find these things.

[Ryan Sickler]

I want to get them to. Now you know what they're doing? They're tricking them out. They're like $40,000.

[John Farley]

Oh, my God. They're bad. Are they really? That's that bad. Boy.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is what the Farley family was rolling around.

[John Farley]

I love it, baby. Holy. That was my mom's. My dad had a Cadillac, and at one point, we had a CB in both cars. Oh, that never worked very well. But my mom was like, I'm the Boston Baked Bean. And my dad was like, I don't know. He was like, tom, what was yours?

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you know?

[John Farley]

I don't know. I can't remember what my dad.

[Ryan Sickler]

We had a. I bought one for this show. I'm still got to figure out how to set it up, because I want to try to tap into truckers out there on the 400.

[John Farley]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Sickler]

And see if we can't do a CB segment.

[John Farley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Because my dad had one, and I have two brothers, and I don't remember what theirs were name was, but I was like, he's like, you're Mosquito Hawk. I'm like, what the. A mosquito hawk. I looked it up. I don't even know what the hell it is, but that was my name. Mosquito Hawk was my CB handle.

[John Farley]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Ryan Sickler]

You don't remember yours?

[John Farley]

Mine was like, probably we went to sports and I always got Broncos. Yeah, I'll be Bronco. And then. And then we know. It was just fodder for like jokes. Chris would be like, I'll be Canon. We'd have Cannon, Mannix and Colombo. And Chris was always. Had to be Cannon because he was fat.

[Ryan Sickler]

And who. What car had the 40 foot antenna? This one or this Patty?

[John Farley]

This one. And then we had Barb. Chris and Tom are in the middle and mom and dad are up front. And you can't get out of there if you're in. In this. In this seat in the back there. That handle doesn't work. It doesn't. You have to have somebody on the outside open it up. And so they'd be like, you. We're leaving you in. You have to climb over the seat. All right.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you're a big family.

[John Farley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

When you're vacationing, are you guys a flying family? Are you a driving family?

[John Farley]

And where we would do usually there would be one big trip and that would either be to Florida or. We went to Florida, we went to Vail.

[Ryan Sickler]

Those are the two big for Disney and stuff.

[John Farley]

I went to Disney World once. My dad. I don't get it. We was like, see at lunch, like, what? I'm eight. We'll see at lunch. And so we just. Five of us just went running around Disney World. There's no care. There's no adult supervision. I stuck with Kevin, Tom and Barb and Chris. And they all went off their own. It's just me and Kevin because we were kind of the same height. So. And then we just went off by height. And I. I don't know how I didn't die or get kidnapped, but I almost drowned, I think once. Cause we went to the pool and they had a big slide and I went, wait, my glasses. All of us had glasses. That was the best. My glasses, they're all Jeffrey Dahmer glasses too. And they all went to the fucking bottom of the huge diving well that I couldn't get. And then we went to Vail once, which was the best. Terrified me because dad, I'd always had. I was a little one. So Dad's like, I'll ride in with the chairlift with Johnny. And he was like big, like 4 or 5, 600 pounds. And so. Well, yeah, he died about 700 pounds.

[Ryan Sickler]

Your dad was 700 pounds?

[John Farley]

Yeah, he's a big guy, so that's really big. Yeah, I know and I know. All right. We had a bit of a we problem family.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why are you not why is.

[John Farley]

I don't know. I got my mom's.

[Ryan Sickler]

My mom lift by himself.

[John Farley]

I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

That just seems like three people's worth of weight.

[John Farley]

Was terrified. And the thing was listing like that, I was like, oh, my God, I'm terrified. Scared.

[Ryan Sickler]

Ski lifts are the worst.

[John Farley]

They're just.

[Ryan Sickler]

All you got to do is lean too far forward. You're going out safe. About those.

[John Farley]

Hated that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, you're wearing tree torns. I saw them outside and I was like, are those Sperry Topside? I knew. I remember these shoes. Tree torns.

[John Farley]

See, they're fucking not there.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is a shoe that came out. When did they come out?

[John Farley]

You get these things for like 40 bucks.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, I remember treat. I couldn't. And when I said the name, I'm like, tree torn. That's one we haven't thought about in a minute.

[John Farley]

I'd never buy a $70 tree turn because you get, like, paper. You go right through them. You have them around for maybe a month or two, scuff them up. These are on the back end. Or you go through the front of them. And then people used to play tennis in these.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, I know. It's the most. Just camping.

[John Farley]

I know.

[Ryan Sickler]

May 1st in 1900.

[John Farley]

What? That's what it says. Wow. That's way older than I thought.

[Ryan Sickler]

I thought it was in the 80s.

[John Farley]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Tell me about. So I grew up in a. Well for. For my whole life, I always shared a bedroom. I didn't get. I didn't get my own bedroom till I was out of the house in my 20s.

[John Farley]

Ye.

[Ryan Sickler]

Forever. It was my twin brother. One year between the sixth grade.

[John Farley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

My mom put me in with my younger brother and quickly realized what was happening naturally during puberty and was like, I think I'm gonna put those two back together in the same room. So went back to. But then high school when we had no parents. We're all in the same room together, so. Oh, are you. Are you always sharing a room growing up? And who's. Who do you with?

[John Farley]

It was me and Kevin.

[Ryan Sickler]

Always you and Kevin.

[John Farley]

Then, you know, Kevin went off to. Kevin went off to college. He was the last one to go off to college. And they were looking at me like, we still got one more kid. How'd you like to go to boarding school? I was like, let's. Okay, I'll go. You really.

[Ryan Sickler]

You went to boarding school?

[John Farley]

I went to boarding school.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was it called?

[John Farley]

Portsmouth Abbey.

[Ryan Sickler]

Let's look this up. Kirsten.

[John Farley]

Portsmouth Abbey. And we.

[Ryan Sickler]

Exactly. While we're looking it up. What exactly was boarding school for you? What were they doing there?

[John Farley]

Boarding school was all boys. Jesus, did I get in trouble there?

[Ryan Sickler]

What is the message? They're trying to get through there?

[John Farley]

Is this like the message is, you know, here, that's it. Now they got girls. Would I have been in trouble with that? That's. That's wrong.

[Ryan Sickler]

And are. How. It's in Rhode Island. So you're. You're sleeping there?

[John Farley]

Yeah, I slept overnight. All my friends that went to boarding school are like, going to boarding school. I go, this is the best, guys.

[Ryan Sickler]

Boarding school, you. That's what I would think too.

[John Farley]

I know. Well, I. With five. Five siblings. Four siblings and me, I was like, I'm happy to get out.

[Ryan Sickler]

And this is the campus here?

[John Farley]

Yeah. There's a football field I played at. And then it was all boys so you could get in trouble.

[Ryan Sickler]

And what years are you doing?

[John Farley]

I was there 80, graduated 88. So it was at 84 to 88.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, wow. So you did your whole high school there?

[John Farley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[John Farley]

And then I. Well, I actually, I got kicked out.

[Ryan Sickler]

But what'd you get kicked out for?

[John Farley]

There was a problem with. We'd have the girls bring booze in and then we got a pint and the sophomores down in the downstairs dorm. I'm in the wrong dorm, by the way. But the. The first floor sophomores had like a big thing of jack. I was like, hey, they probably still have some more booze in there. Let's go down there. Went down there. They're trashing their room. This is the night before Christmas, night before Christmas break. We're all flying home the next morning and they're trashing the room. We're like, quiet down, guys. Where's your booze? And I see it in the trash can, empty. I'm like, we gotta get out of here. It's empty. Turn around. And the guy's like, Mr. Farley, you're in the wrong room dorm. I was like, I was just returning something before break, sir. And they busted me. Breathalyzed us. We all got kicked out. We all got kicked out. But the headmaster, that's what they call principals. He was like, from the 1940s. The headmaster we had before was a priest. And he was like, eh, you know what? I think I'm gonna go, girls. So he went off, he was like, I quit being a priest. I'm gonna go marry somebod, have fun. So we had no, like, God, yeah. Get like, yeah, married some girl. And guy had kids. And that Was it. So we had no. So we pulled out of the. Out of the monastery, this old dusted off, this old monk. I was like, I figured out the Manhattan Pro, the Einstein's theory before anyone. He was like the first one to figure it out. He worked on the Manhattan Project. He really did that Oppenheimer movie. He was in Los Alamos. So he was. And he was the headmaster of the 1940s or 50s. And he came back and then he was like, someone's been drinking. They're expelled. And I go, dude, my mom was like, fuck you. He didn't get any. He wasn't a part of the first problem that suspended everyone or put everyone on probation, so why should he be kicked out? And he's got to go in front of a disciplinary board like, all right. Then on his deathbed, he was like, Mr. Farley let back in. And it just expelled, just suspended. And I go, sweet. And then he died. And I go, oh my God, can't believe it. And I go, you're right. I wasn't a part of that. First thing before Thanksgiving break, to put us all. I was. I had taken. I had gone into the monks had a locker of giant freezer or refrigerator, but it was huge, big padlock on it. But on the other side was just a Phillips head screwdriver. So I went, eh, took out the screws, opened up the walk in, took a case of beer, went into the.

[Ryan Sickler]

The monks had beer in there?

[John Farley]

Yeah, for like parties or like, you know, alumni or people coming over. They had beer. So I don't know how my friend knew this, because there's beer in there. So I go, I'll get in there. We got in and then we took that to the basement of the administration building. We snuck in there, we stole a TV and a VCR and had a porno. And then I woke up all the Dean's list kids in our class, all the kids that were straight A students. I can't get in trouble straight A students. So I got all those guys, brought them down to the basement administration building and made them watch a porno and drink a bunch of beer and they got wasted. And I think some kid told on himself a confession or something and. But none of us did. And they didn't find it. And they were like, I know. And that old crusty old monk was like, I know one of you six formers, that's what they call seniors, did this. It could only be you, and you're all on suspension. And that was Thanksgiving. They'll go and we're walking out, going to Thanksgiving break out of the lecture hall. And everyone behind me is going, confess, Farley, confess. I go. Go yourselves. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. So long.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you never did.

[John Farley]

No. And then I went. Went back and then got caught at that Christmas. And I was like, it wasn't me. And so they let me back in. I got my diploma. Hopefully that won't get me. You can't take a diploma. Good. So that's taken care of. But back to back the Farley house.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, yeah, give me some funny, funny Chris stories growing up.

[John Farley]

Funny Chris stories growing up.

[Ryan Sickler]

What's the age difference between you and Chris?

[John Farley]

Four years. Ish.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[John Farley]

Three or four. Yeah. Three or four years. Yeah. We're pretty close together there. And I made. This is the birth of the vcr. Our first movies were Caddyshack. Seems like old times and I think Stripes. But I realized blank tapes we could record off of hbo. So I made what was called a naughty tape. And that was just basically the Mr. Skin. You know, I don't know if that's around anymore, but just the. The good parts of all the, like, you know, Risky Business, the train scene. You had private school, ski school. And I don't know why did you have that one?

[Ryan Sickler]

Tom Hanks, the Accused.

[John Farley]

I know. I don't know why I did it. But it was Jodie Foster.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Oh, I know, the fin.

[John Farley]

But she was being right. It was bad, but it was on there. And Chris. There was tits. It was tits. Chris. I know the context is bad, but if you don't watch the movie, you just have that part and then don't know what's going on. You don't know what it is. Anyway, my mom walks in on Chris looking at the neuronality tape and it happened to be on the Accused where she. I think they're going 2, 4, 5, or 1, 2, 3, 4 that till it's sore. And Christopher looked over and goes, huh? And just saw my mom in the window or in the doorway just going, sweet mercy. And walked, backed out and left. Get out of my room, Mom, I'm sorry I told that I had to tell that story. Yeah, it's a bad, bad, bad one. But she was like, oh, sweet mercy, what's happening to my boys? Masturbating to the Accused. There we are.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at this.

[John Farley]

They fucking goddamn waterhead.

[Ryan Sickler]

Because where are you?

[John Farley]

I'm the little one on my mom's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, there you are. Oh, look at little John.

[John Farley]

They got size of that cabeza. It's huge.

[Ryan Sickler]

You grew into it, though. That's nice.

[John Farley]

Oh, my God. They used to laugh because there's a couple of those pictures where my head's. I'm like. My head's tilted because my neck couldn't even hold it. My head up. Barbaran, as you can see, was blind.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is Barbara, blind in one eye. Look like Velma.

[John Farley]

Oh, my God. She does. In that picture. He looks like Velma. There's pictures.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who are we out here, dad?

[John Farley]

And then Tommy's right below him.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[John Farley]

And let. Look at little Lord Fauntleroy, Chris with his short pants.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, that's him down here.

[John Farley]

And then Kevin's next to me. I know Chris is in the middle, and Kevin's on the end across from me there. And me and Kevin kind of looked alike for a while there. And then Tommy's got. He. It went black or brown. Black hair, like my dad's and mom's. And then Chris had red hair. And then Kevin. I got blonde hair. It's like. We got, like, less. That was the best.

[Ryan Sickler]

This one here.

[John Farley]

That's that one. Yeah, there it is.

[Ryan Sickler]

You zoom in a little bit on it.

[John Farley]

We.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where are you guys here?

[John Farley]

What is that? 822 Farwell Drive. And that would be a house. That's our house. And my dad was running for school board got creamed. But they were like, all right, everyone try and look like we're a normal family. And there was like, we're picking leaves off each other. There's nothing normal about what. I look crazy. You couldn't find Chris. I can't believe they found a red sweater. I don't even know if that's not Photoshopped. There's 817.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really nice house. This is where. This. Is this your primitive.

[John Farley]

That's. No.

[Ryan Sickler]

These are your years of growing up here.

[John Farley]

Or we. Well, that's the one. We. That was my mom's favorite house. She goes, that's a beautiful house. Then my dad. We were. I remember driving. The Driving up the street, and my dad was walking down the street, and he goes, I just bought the house across the street. And we. I go, what? We're moving. So we moved on to the lake after that. But that was our house from one to eight for me. Eight years.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. And then where do you go?

[John Farley]

8817 Farwell Drive. You won't be able to find. I don't know if you'll never find. Was gigantic. There's Duke decane's house. Duke, my brother. See that? I know. There's. It's. It's You. You can't get in there. It's way down that. Down that driveway? No, that's. That was Helen Coe, this old lady. She was so old.

[Ryan Sickler]

What about down this driveway?

[John Farley]

That's. That was new. But this weed. My brother woke up on the. On this guy's lawn because you had to turn into. It's a huge steep driveway. And then everyone.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where are you guys?

[John Farley]

There's eight. 22 is right there. That's it. Yeah. There's our house. So that's where we moved there. Yeah, we're moving across the street.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then you went over to here.

[John Farley]

Over there. My mother's like, it's a giant trailer. It looked. Because it was long and just. It was.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you have a yard? A big yard like that? Are you guys cutting grass? Who's grass?

[John Farley]

No, my dad's like, I'm not kid. My kid. I've never touched a lawnmower.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really?

[John Farley]

Our house went. It. See that? Like us. The grade of that how a hill. It went into a fucking steep grade. And it went down, rolling two. Two rolls into 100 foot cliff.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, okay.

[John Farley]

And it. And it. My dad was like, you're gonna see lawnmower let go. Lawnmowers going off the cliff. Toes. Our neighbor got a toe ripped off because of. Really? Yeah. And then you go off the lake there. See that lake? And it was. It was so nice. So that's.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you guys swimming. Lake swimming and stuff growing up.

[John Farley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kids, you're out there.

[John Farley]

Look how green that is.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

And it smelled like a goddamn prom queen's. And I was like, what's wrong with this lake? And everyone in Madison was like, oh, it's just the lake. Just the lake.

[Ryan Sickler]

You guys aren't out there jet skiing?

[John Farley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh my God, you are.

[John Farley]

When Chris got a little famous.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

Of course he got some dough and his. He fucking bought things like a goddamn child. He came home from. He's still in rehab, but Promises there in Malibu, he goes, I got a day off. I'm gonna go into the town. Went to the Dodge dealership, bought a Viper. I was like, why a Viper? It was like one of those giant hoods.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, I remember the Dodge Viper.

[John Farley]

Brought that Viper back to Promises and they're like, I'm not sure you're supposed to be buying like giant purchases like that. It was a used one, but he's like, got a Viper. So we had that out here. And then in Madison, he bought a jet boat, like a really fast one. Like, the guy was like, you just bought the fastest boat on the lake. That's a huge fucking lake. And there's a goddamn a lot of boats. And to say you just bought the fastest boat in the lake, I'm like, oh, fuck. So we had that thing and we'd have a knee board.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, yeah.

[John Farley]

And we. So Chris was like, we're gonna go kneeboarding. And he was in the back and Kevin gunned it and Chris's swim trunks immediately went off. So now he's naked, laughing his ass off.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the thing.

[John Farley]

I like huge spray so you can't see the boat. We're like, oh, he's having a good time, I guess. And we're going along the shoreline. Everyone's on their piers looking and waving at us. And Chris is naked, laughing, can't stop laughing. And they're all like, holy fuck, your Farley boys are naked on the fucking jet Ski. Look how green it is. It changes different colors. And there's like, there's like one of those things called the fucking carp. They're like those bottom feeding fish that we, you know, if you catch them, you can't put them back in because they're garbage fish. So we'd be killing those things. And it just reeked like. It reeked like a pussy. It still does, but we were in the upper bluff, so you could smell it, but. And then it goes to the lower bluff is when it's their lake level and it just wafts through your house. You're like, God damn stinks.

[Ryan Sickler]

But we kind of trouble. You guys. Are you guys getting into. Are you sneaking out of the house? Are you?

[John Farley]

What are you guys doing? We would sneak out of the house. First off, in high school we would, yeah, we'd go window peeking. Sorry, everybody that knew us, but we'd window peek on you. And then who's going?

[Ryan Sickler]

When you're doing it, is it.

[John Farley]

We'd go on three boys.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's all the boys.

[John Farley]

It's all the boys. And then the Cleary boys to join in because they were the only ones that lived around us. We had. It was all old people around us. Mrs. Cole was like 90, 80, and she had this old like Ford Fairmount and she'd be like, I've got to go to the store. It was like, if you didn't shovel her out because she had to be shoveled out and she fell, you would have killed an old lady easily. So we had to help her. They called her Paddington. She looked like a fucking Paddington. The barracks. She always wear that overcoat and the hat. And then she. So she lived next door to us. And we didn't window peek on her. God, no. One time my brother got a hold of a wrist rocket.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

And just started going fucking. His friends were crazy. Bob Dunn, New Sweeney. They. They'd pull up to somebody and go, hey, do you know the way to Nesvix? In like some random place. Ah, yeah, that's. You want to go down Farwell Drive? And they go with a crab apple right in his fucking crotch. And he'd be like, you go right down. And then they'd drive off. I was like, you fucking took a crabapple in a wrist rocket to a guy's nuts.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kill him.

[John Farley]

Ye. I was like, holy. They went around doing that and all day long until I got in trouble. And then.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you guys. Any of you ever get arrested?

[John Farley]

One of us. Oh, everyone did. We all got arrested. Not in high school. I was in boarding school. Chris got or kicked out of high school for. He went to the typing. We used to have typing.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

And he went and to a girl was like, I need help typing or. No, he was his computer, his typewriter. He take us. He took his dick out and typed with his dick. And she was a born again Christian. And she was like, immediate was like, red flag. I'm telling. And then all. All the nuns, like, circled my parents. They're all like, Christopher's gotta go to. So he had to go to boarding school for a semester or a year.

[Ryan Sickler]

He did too, huh?

[John Farley]

He went to La Mer in Indiana, I think it was.

[Ryan Sickler]

They sent him away.

[John Farley]

Yeah, you're going to La Mere. So he went down there and then for typing with his dick. Arrested.

[Ryan Sickler]

Home row with his dick.

[John Farley]

We what? That was a good one. That was a dish. We go to Christmas parties and literally whoever came up with the craziest story was the best because there was all my old. My parents, old friends, like, what are you doing? Kevin was like, going in the army and I'm going to like. Because I've got a girl pregnant and I'm going to kill somebody. Something nuts. And that Christopher would be off telling another crazy story and my parents would be like, the next day or like the next week be like, I'm getting strange phone calls from people. What have you guys told all my friends? I don't know why. What are they saying? You're. You're going in the army and Christopher, you're going to Ringling Brothers in Barmobili Circus. Yeah, yeah. We. Because we just get tired of like, what are you Doing? What are you going to do? Go to college? I don't know. Fuck. We're going to go to college and drink beers and then go to sleep.

[Ryan Sickler]

What's the hardest? You remember laughing with Chris growing up?

[John Farley]

Chris growing up, the hardest. God, there's so many great stories. There are some doozies. Like one time we're upstairs and all my relatives are downstairs mingling, and it was a staircase where you could, like, you could see down in the foyer area. And they were all right around, hovering right around there. And Chris had a. I go, whose Playboy is this? Chris goes, it's mine. He grabbed it, chucked it over the banister, and you just heard it go. It's a slap on the ground. And he goes, wait for it, Wait for it. You hear my uncle go, oh, my God. And my aunt's going, what's that? What's going on? And my grandmother's down there. I'm like, holy fuck, Chris, what are you doing? Why? And he goes, somebody's got to go get it. I go, somebody ran down there. And I go, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what errors came from. I ran up. I was like, jesus Christ. But the. The. All the conversation to a slap on the ground stopped everything dead silent. And then just. Oh, my God. I was like, oh, no, he did that one. God. There was one good fight. One that was a. There was a good. And then my uncle got. They don't get in between my two brothers. They were like, I'm driving both drunk. I'm driving home. It was like my mom and dad's like, 25th anniversary, or it was my grandmother's 85th birthday, something. One of those. They go, I'm driving home. You're driving. Getting in a fight. My uncle's like, hey, guys, let's stop it. Fuck. You pushed him down. Like, holy shit. Push their fucking granddad's brother down. I'm watching this, going, oh, my God. It was insane. And then like, are you younger?

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you guys ever get in fights? Okay, go ahead.

[John Farley]

Chris is like, holy. Look at that. Yeah. She goes, oh. I was like, this party's going crazy. We gotta do something. We're leaving. Oh, God.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you guys ever get in fights?

[John Farley]

Oh, my God. Kevin and Chris did all the time.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

Chris, well, I just wanted to fight. So he'd be like, johnny. Kevin would be studying and the lights are on. Chris would be like, johnny wants to sleep. And I go, I'm okay. Everything's fine. And they'd Be like, fuck. And they go at it. And they'd start fighting and they'd go through, like, the closet had those slats. They go right through that thing. And they go, God. The best was our. In our bathroom, my mom had a. A picture of a radish. And it just said, boys are grief. There's, like piss all over the place. None of us hit the toilet. We peed. Kevin still pisses. You'll never find that boys are grief. If you do. I'm buying. It is a radish. And it was in one of those, like, you know, like glass.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, like a. Like a glass flower.

[John Farley]

Like, last thing. That kind of thing. That. But boys are grief. And I'd just be staring that as I, you know, pissing it. Piss, jizz, blood, everything. The best is Chris came home from Saturday night. This is older, but he. Sandler goes, hey, you want to make your dick bigger? Take. Shave all your pubes off and your dick will look huge. So Chris, being the world traveler that he is, came back from New York and was like, hey, guys, Sandler tells me, if you shave your pubes off and cut it, your dick will look twice as big. So my mom, like, came down, like, just look like goddamn pubes everywhere.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where do you do it?

[John Farley]

We. We all did it. We're all like, damn, we all cut our pubes off and we shaved it off. Our dick is big. And then Chris comes back from Christmas break. The sailor gives him the important business tips tip that he didn't give before. He goes, oh, yeah. If you do it once, you're gonna have to do it for the rest of your life because it's going to grow back twice as bad. Your pubes are going to get, like, way bad. If you leave it alone, it'll be fine. It'll just grow like pubes. But if you cut them and shave them, they're going to grow back way bigger. So we're like, now we got to. Now I've got to shave my pubes. Yeah, we have huge bushes now. So. But my mom was like, why are there so many pubic hairs everywhere? My cleaning is like, gross. Was another good. Give us. Give us one more fucking. He was in that house at 817 and he. So it went, Chris, Kevin, Tommy and Chris. They didn't match. So Chris had to go back in the back room. I don't know what it was. Wasn't a bedroom. Might have been a bedroom, I don't know. But it was just a room. Bad way in the back of the House, one side of the house. And it was. You had to get to the furnace. It was in between the furnace. And the furnace was right out of Home Alone, cranky. It was like. And Chris is like, that's the devil. This thing's haunted. This whole place is. We're all going to die. So Kevin and I would always see Chris in a silhouette of a fat man with a pillow, and he'd be like, I'm sleeping in between you two tonight. So he'd always sleep in between because the furnace would go on.

[Ryan Sickler]

He would really come out and terrifying three of you.

[John Farley]

Yeah, it was on that fucking lake.

[Ryan Sickler]

You'd see him coming down the hall.

[John Farley]

And he goes, don't you say a word. And I was like, I won't say anything, baby. And I swear.

[Ryan Sickler]

Those are the best times, though.

[John Farley]

Like, yeah, our house went out to the. They had French doors. They're those two little doors that went out. My dad, quickly, like, after a while, was like, we're gonna seal those doors up. So he. Like, nothing pretty. He was just like, seal them up. Seal up that one. That one. And so he. He sealed. Yeah. But for a while there, it was like, we. We could come in and out as we pleased, and we caused havoc in the neighborhood. Just like fireworks, fire. A lot of fire.

[Ryan Sickler]

A lot of fire.

[John Farley]

We burn things like that. Should be fun. Let's burn like I bride. I was. All right. I was the pyromaniac. And I was like, I'm going to take lighter flood and light up these leaves. We. I was like, oh, that tree's on fire. That tree's on fire. Oh, fuck. I better. We got to do something about this. This is getting out of hand. And I'd fucking. There's a couple times. I was like, okay, no more fires. I'm gonna go back inside. That's enough. My mom was like, johnny likes fire. Christopher like window peeking. Kevin liked. Kevin liked destruction. He was. He was the fireworks. And what else did he do? Oh, weird. There was a. One of our friend's moms was driving, was on a bicycle going up the street, and one of his friends reached out and slapped her on the ass.

[Ryan Sickler]

What?

[John Farley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Slapped the lady on.

[John Farley]

Yeah. And the worst case is Kevin Farley. I know that was you. I'm telling your mother. And I was like, oh, I. By the time you got home, she was on the phone with my mom. Like, did you slap her ass? Like, yeah, it was the other. It was big snooper. He did it. So. But from then on, she was like, slap my Ass. Yeah, she was. That was a good one. Was another one. Fucking. My dad sold oil for roads. So basically he didn't do anything for like, because it was Wisconsin. So it was the summer where he would figure out how much the barrel of oil was and then sell it to these farmers that were like, I'm on the county highway commission and we have a rock quarry. We'll buy the oil, take the rock, make asphalt and fix all the roads in the summer. So my dad worked in the, you know, spring to summer. But it basically he'd just call up a trucker and be like, you got oil? Yeah. You either want asphalt or you don't. That's something you're like, you have to. You have to go out and sell it. It's kind of like, yeah, I got a lot of potholes.

[Ryan Sickler]

You don't need to convince.

[John Farley]

Yeah, we know we need it. So he would. So that's what. That was his job. And we'd. He was gone all summer, so we'd have just free reign. We go up to northern Wisconsin to a summer camp called Red Arrow Camp. That was where my parents. My parents love to ship us off. So it was a seven week camp. Still a seven week camp. They're all like these hovercraft parents now. They're all like, my boy can only go three weeks or two weeks because he's got. I don't want him go. And it's still seven weeks.

[Ryan Sickler]

There it is.

[John Farley]

That's the summer camp we go. My dad went there in the 40s.

[Ryan Sickler]

So it looks like there's performance and stuff there. Yeah, there was some stuff there.

[John Farley]

There was a. There's this concert stunt night where Chris perfected a few funny bits. This is where we first all started to act, you know, doing on stage here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Huh.

[John Farley]

At Red Arrow Camp.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[John Farley]

Yeah, that thing's a crazy. I had my kid go to there once and it's quite expensive now.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's still. You said seven weeks.

[John Farley]

Seven weeks.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a lot. That is almost two months.

[John Farley]

I know. That's like. So all of the whole summer, June 8th to August, like 15th.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

So that's pretty much the whole summer. And we went up there as counselors. That was trouble. Yeah. Chris dressed up a Santa as a counselor once.

[Ryan Sickler]

He was a counselor.

[John Farley]

The counselor. And then just went nuts, you know, Kevin and Chris fighting there was. We go to mass with my. I'd be the. I was Spalding basically from Caddyshack because I was always around mom and dad as the youngest. So we'd go to mass and then we'd see Tommy or Chris, like, bring the camp kids to mass. And they had black eyes, bloody. And my dad be like, what the happened now? Like, what happened? He's like, ah, we got into a fight. Chris dressed as Santa. Oh, this one was Kevin and Chris. Tommy did it too. And Kevin was in a boat. And Chris is like, I'm drunk, Santa. And then, like, fell into the boat and hit Kevin. Kev was like, hey, on purpose. Farley fight. Yeah. No one get around it. And in a boat, which is worse because that's like you're asking for. You're. If you're just walking in a boat, you're gonna.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, you're going.

[John Farley]

You're bloody.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

Which one? There's Chris.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where?

[John Farley]

He's top right. You just had him out. There he is.

[Ryan Sickler]

There he is.

[John Farley]

There he is. He one time had good find, Kirsten. He went to. He went to camp and got impetigo. We all go, the dirty man's disease. You got Dirty man disease. He goes, shut up. I go, is that because you didn't shower while. How do you get impetigo? It's a weird name, too, but he got impetigo. And it was like a rash or something. There he is. That was funny bits. That's when we all knew, like, hey, something's different about him. He's making. I love that.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is the beginning of things.

[John Farley]

Oh, yeah, great. That's the beginning. We're like, oh, he's pretty good at this. He was just making fun of, like, the old counselors or something. What is another good place we used to go? We know what my dad loves. Supper clubs.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[John Farley]

And give a big steak at like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who's this here?

[John Farley]

That's. Look at him. He wasn't fat.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not at all there.

[John Farley]

Yeah. No, you're right. So we would go. The best steak was Smokey Steakhouse. Where'd that. Oh, there it is. That fucking brick building. That was my dad's favorite, Smokey's Club. You know, my dad used to drink. I could never figure out what it was. He'd go. The waitress come around, he'd be like, I'll have a dry Rob Roy on the rocks with a twist. And it's scotch. It's like a martini, but scotch. It's scotch driver mouth and twist of lemon in it. He goes, a little bit. A little bit of vermouth now. A lot. And then. So that's what he'd have. Order it every time. Dry rhyme Roy and rocks with a Twist. And then. God, we get loaded in that place. Actually, no, we were little. We just eat a ton of steak. My dad one time goes, I'm taking the boys out to eat. I think we went here and I. If I order something, Chris would always go, you better fucking eat that. Dad's paying for it. Dad's paying for where you order X. I was like, shrimp cocktail. I need shrimp cocktail. A shrimp tempura and like. Like a dessert. You better eat all that because they're eating giant steaks. And I ate a Boston cream pie. Or. No. Banana cream pie. No. Coconut cream pie. He goes, you better eat that. And I go, okay. And I had steak that night. So I was eating it and I don't feel good. Just puked everywhere.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, yeah.

[John Farley]

My dad, like, grabbed me, threw me in the car, drove me home, threw me into mom and Barb. I was like, ah, Johnny puked. I gotta go back and get the rest of the kids. Tommy, Chris and Kevin were just laughing at me like, you puked. I was like, I can't keep up. I couldn't keep up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you for doing this, dude.

[John Farley]

Fuck yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is really fun. I appreciate you sharing stories of your family and your brother and everything.

[John Farley]

I love this backseat of this fucking station wagon. I want one of these. But they're. I'm not buying.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm looking. Hell, no. No. One more time. Right there. Tell them about the movie, please.

[John Farley]

It's called Meet Me Where I Am. That's going to be a good. It's a great documentary on grief. If you're going through any kind of grief or anything like that, rent that. Rent that. And it'll. It's got some good advice for you. Good help. Or if, you know, if you're still like, hanging on to it. As we said in before, one of the experts, I guess in the documentary puts it like this. If you're. Somebody asked him, how long are you gonna. How long am I gonna grieve for? And he says, well, how long is the person gonna be dead for? And then they were like, oh, I guess forever. Thanks, Dr. Dick. I was kidding. Oh, boy. Then what I was gonna say was the last one. And then we're working on it. I was gonna say, we're working on documentary for Chris, which would be cool. You guys can take a look. Paul Walker Hauser is gonna play Chris. And then who's the guy? That Book of Mormon, you know, Glasses.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes, I. I do know who it is. He's playing you.

[John Farley]

He's playing dry. He's playing the directory. No, I'm gonna get a the Macaulay Culkin. That was now we are like Home alone. We got the McCallkin kids. Me and Collie and Kit McCulkin are wherever that his little brother is. That was me and Kevin and Chris was Buzz, that fucking big fat older brother.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you very much.

[John Farley]

Hell, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Ryancickler.com. come see me on tour. I'm out there right now. Tickets to all shows are on my@ryan sickler.com. come out, see me live, check out a show. We'll talk to y'all next week.

[John Farley]

Hey.