69: The Wayback #69 | Hanna Dickinson

Summary

Episode Summary: The Wayback #69 | Hanna Dickinson

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Wayback with Ryan Sickler
• Host: Ryan Sickler
• Guest: Hanna Dickinson
• Release Date: April 24, 2025

---

1. Introduction and Guest Introduction (01:16 - 01:54)

Ryan Sickler kicks off the episode by warmly welcoming Hanna Dickinson to "The Wayback." He expresses his admiration for Hanna, highlighting her humor and social media presence.

Notable Quote:

Ryan Sickler (01:37): "I am very excited to have this guest on the seat today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Hannah Dickinson."

---

2. Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics (02:03 - 04:39)

Hanna delves into her early years growing up in New Orleans, sharing anecdotes about her family's green station wagon. She humorously recounts the discomfort of sitting in the backseat, especially with the air conditioning never reaching their area.

Notable Quotes:

Hanna Dickinson (02:09): "When I lived in New Orleans when I was since I was three to second grade, we had a Volkswagen with the seats that folded up in the back."

Ryan Sickler (03:12): "Maybe that is where a lot of our anxiety comes from. Sitting in that backseat and watching people skid right up to our face."

---

3. Sibling Relationships and Mischief (04:41 - 09:08)

Hanna discusses her relationship with her older brother, highlighting both the challenges and humorous moments. She shares a particularly vivid and cringe-worthy memory involving her brother's prank during their teenage years.

Notable Quotes:

Hanna Dickinson (05:47): "He made me ride in the backseat to school like an Uber driver."

Hanna Dickinson (06:18): "He pinned me down on the ground and opened his butt cheeks and farted in my face."

Ryan Sickler (08:38): "But I was a better student than he was, so I have that on him."

---

4. High School Life and Academic Pursuits (09:03 - 16:20)

Hanna reflects on her high school years, emphasizing her commitment to academics and extracurricular activities. She was a straight-A student, captain of the dance team, and a member of the National Honor Society. Despite her dedication, she faced challenges in personal relationships, leading to both humorous and awkward situations.

Notable Quotes:

Hanna Dickinson (09:05): "Straight A's all through high school."

Ryan Sickler (15:44): "You were a good student?"

Hanna Dickinson (16:01): "I was really into getting into a good college, so I didn't care about Boys."

---

5. Religious Involvement and Young Life Camp (16:20 - 26:44)

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around Hanna's involvement with the religious group "Young Life." She shares her experiences attending weekly meetings and going to camp, where religious ceremonies were intertwined with typical camp activities. Hanna candidly discusses her internal conflicts and eventual distancing from organized religion, opting instead for a more spiritual personal belief system.

Notable Quotes:

Hanna Dickinson (19:31): "They would do these lock-ins. So they would have them. They would do them at the church."

Ryan Sickler (25:01): "What if that's it? You know what I'm saying? What if all this is that stupid?"

Hanna Dickinson (26:44): "So I honestly think I'm more religious now. Not necessarily God and Jesus, but I believe in something spiritual versus religious."

---

6. College Years and Personal Growth (26:44 - 33:38)

Transitioning to her college years at USC, Hanna discusses joining a sorority and further distancing herself from the religious activities of her youth. She touches upon the broader social issues she observed, such as gay marriage sentiments within her religious community, and how these influenced her worldview and personal beliefs.

Notable Quotes:

Hanna Dickinson (30:24): "We want you in heaven with us."

Ryan Sickler (30:38): "What if for real, this is all real? And they were like, all you had to do is turn that chair around."

Hanna Dickinson (33:35): "My dad had a heavy influence. He did my fashion choices."

---

7. Reflections and Closing Thoughts (33:38 - End)

As the episode wraps up, Ryan and Hanna reflect on their journeys away from rigid structures—be it family expectations or organized religion—and towards personal authenticity. Hanna emphasizes her rebellious nature and the importance of staying true to oneself despite external pressures.

Notable Quotes:

Hanna Dickinson (33:35): "My dad had a heavy influence. He did my fashion choices."

Ryan Sickler (33:58): "You're so funny. Thanks for doing this. I get a kick out of you as always."

---

Key Insights and Conclusions

• Navigating Family Dynamics: Hanna's relationship with her older brother showcased both conflict and camaraderie, reflecting common sibling experiences.

• Balancing Academics and Personal Life: Her dedication to academics and extracurriculars highlights the challenges of maintaining balance during formative years.

• Impact of Organized Religion: Hanna's candid discussion about her experiences with Young Life underscores the complexities of religious involvement during youth and its long-term effects on personal beliefs.

• Personal Growth and Authenticity: The episode emphasizes the importance of personal authenticity over conforming to external expectations, be it familial, educational, or religious.

---

Final Thoughts: Episode #69 of "The Wayback with Ryan Sickler" offers a blend of humor, introspection, and candid storytelling through Hanna Dickinson's life experiences. From childhood antics to the struggles of finding one's identity amidst societal and familial expectations, Hanna's journey resonates with many who seek authenticity in a world full of pressures to conform.

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Hannah Dickinson]

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[Hannah Dickinson]

Hey baby.

[Ryan Sickler]

We're gonna be here all day. We're gonna be here all day, baby. I like that kind of party.

Welcome back to the Way Back.

I am Ryan Sickler.

Ryan Sickler.com Ryan Sickler on all your social media. I am very excited to have this guest on the seat today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Hannah Dickinson. Welcome to the Way Back. Hannah Dickinson.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Wow. Thank you so much.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're very welcome. You know I'm a big fan of yours and I love having you on the shows. So before we get into everything, please promote yourself whatever you'd like at Hans.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Dickey on Instagram hannadickinson.com for dates. And that's it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Listen to me, if you really want to watch somebody funny on social media. Yeah, this lady right here is the shit.

[Hannah Dickinson]

So nice.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, it's the truth. So let's talk about you. So you said you guys had a station wagon with the Way Back?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, when I lived. I lived in New Orleans when I was since I was three to second grade.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And we had a Volkswagen with the seats that folded up in the back.

[Ryan Sickler]

Facing the Volkswagen wagon.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Volkswagen. Yeah. And I hated those seats. Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

That white one down there in the.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Middle, you know, it was like that style. It was a Volvo. So I guess it wasn't a Volkswagen, but they faced the back.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Hannah Dickinson]

So it was more like. It was that green one.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

This guy.

[Ryan Sickler]

I remember that station. That was a popular one right there.

[Hannah Dickinson]

That was. I think that was ours. We had a green station wagon.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you would sit facing out the back in there, too.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And it was always the kids who had to get in the back because it's the smallest area. But I was, like, very scared because you're right against the window.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Hannah Dickinson]

So when cars were coming, you're like. Like, every time. I hated it. And my. And the AC never got to the back, so it's always so hot in the. In these seats.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a good point.

[Unknown]

You.

[Ryan Sickler]

Maybe. Maybe that is where a lot of our anxiety comes from. Sitting in that backseat and watching people skid right up to our face.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And. But the fun thing we used to do going home from school is my brother and the. These kids that our mom used to babysit, we would save all our lunch food, and we'd throw it out the window at other cars. So that was, you know, the station wagon. But then we got in trouble because we use carrots. And then it, like, hit someone's windshield really hard and.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did they pull up to you and stuff?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, they were outside. Yeah. They imagine having kids.

[Unknown]

Do you remember it, though? What were they doing?

[Hannah Dickinson]

They were just yelling at us all the time because we're kids. Like, we would save our lunch so we wouldn't eat our lunch, and we'd save it. So we just.

[Ryan Sickler]

The bomb cars.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And at first, my mom didn't care because my mom was like, whatever. There are three boys and a girl, which is me, who's a terrorist. So we would throw our lunch food, and my mom wouldn't care. And then one time, we threw carrots, and it hit a window so hard, and the guy was like, I thought you cracked my window.

[Unknown]

You.

[Hannah Dickinson]

This is. You're gonna cause a car accident.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is even funnier to me because it's not like this guy whipped up next to your mom like, your kids are throwing. She's like, what?

[Unknown]

She knew, you guys.

[Hannah Dickinson]

She knew. She just didn't care. She. She. You know, she. My mom worked all day, and then she had to pick up kids. So she was like, whatever's. Gonna keep you away from me. The fact that we weren't throwing the food at her, she was like, just let it fly. So we were just throwing food out the window.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you have one brother?

[Hannah Dickinson]

One brother.

[Ryan Sickler]

An older brother, yeah. And did you guys get along or were you, like, cat and mouse? What were you. How were you guys.

[Hannah Dickinson]

We get along now because he's married to my friend.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

He married your friends from, like, childhood?

[Hannah Dickinson]

From college. My sorority sister.

[Ryan Sickler]

No way. Oh, so he's got to be nice to you.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Exactly. He can't be mean to me now. Yeah, he's friends with half my friends now, so he can't really talk. Plus, if they want to hang out with me now, we all hang out. But growing up, we weren't. I don't want to say we weren't. We weren't not friends. But he was three years older, and he just.

[Ryan Sickler]

Three years is a big difference. You think about it. Because he's already going into middle school when you're still in elementary school, high school when you're already in middle school. Probably just getting. Were you a freshman when he was a senior?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ryan Sickler]

As my younger brother, too. Now, was that advantageous or was that. Nah. Like, did you have protection or were you.

[Hannah Dickinson]

No, he wouldn't say hi to me in the hallways. Yeah, we weren't friends. Just calm.

[Ryan Sickler]

Don't you.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, we weren't friends. He made me ride in the backseat to school like an Uber driver.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, when he drove?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. He'd be like, get in the back. Yeah. So not every day, but some days he'd be like, all right, get in the back. So, yeah, I don't know why I was like, we were kind of friends. We were not friends at all. But he used to do this thing in middle school where whenever he'd take a big shit, he would love for me to smell it. So he'd be like, hannah, come in here. I need your help. And the first few times, I'd fall for it. And then he'd lock me in the bathroom. And. And then one time I was like, I've had enough. I'm not falling for it. And he pinned me down on the ground and opened his butt cheeks and farted in my face.

[Unknown]

No.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And that. I can still taste it. You know what I mean? It's like. And he hates that story. I got drunk.

[Unknown]

He hates it.

[Hannah Dickinson]

He hates it.

[Unknown]

It happened to you, but he hates it. Yeah, well, shit in your mouth. But he hates the story I told.

[Hannah Dickinson]

His friends in college. Because I went to visit him and I got really drunk.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, God damn.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And he was so embarrassed and I was like, I can still taste the.

[Unknown]

Poop farted in your mouth. And you still remember. That's one of those things that's never going away.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Never going away forever. And that's. Yeah. So I guess to answer your question, no, we were not.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you ever get them back? Did you ever do anything back? Were you like, did you play pranks or anything like that?

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No, you never got him in trouble or.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Not really. I would do his homework in high school and he'd pay me.

[Ryan Sickler]

What?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, he'd pay me to do his marketing homework.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nah.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like why? Was he just not good at it or just didn't feel like doing it?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Didn't feel like doing it.

[Ryan Sickler]

And he needed a grade. And you were how much did he pay you?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Like 10 bucks.

[Ryan Sickler]

And would you do it good or would you it up?

[Hannah Dickinson]

No, I'd do it good because I was a perfectionist. So I'd be like, oh, I really want to get a good grade.

[Ryan Sickler]

But also you're taking older cl, you're taking accelerated classes.

[Hannah Dickinson]

It's marketing. Yeah, but still, that's not a real class.

[Ryan Sickler]

Listen, we're in an industry where these idiots in marketing still know how to fucking do it.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Trust me.

[Hannah Dickinson]

It was like making, you know, a poster board or something. And then he'd pay me 10 bucks and I'd do it. But I was a better student than he was, so I have that on him.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you were a good student?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Straight A.

[Ryan Sickler]

Straight A the whole time?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, yeah. Straight A's all through high school.

[Ryan Sickler]

All through high school. And were you like a good kid in high school? What were you like in high school?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I was just.

[Ryan Sickler]

Cuz you got good grades. I know a lot of girls that got straight A's and were straight hoes. You know what I'm saying?

[Hannah Dickinson]

No, I was in a hotel college. Did you still get straight A's though, in college? No.

[Unknown]

Straight D's?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, I failed ceramics in college.

[Ryan Sickler]

How?

[Unknown]

You just didn't go. I didn't go. You had to be.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Well, and my projects suck. Like, my nickname in college is Bad Hand Job Hannah. Cause I wore rings.

[Unknown]

Cause I wore rings.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And I went to college and I'd never given a hand job before. And I'm wearing all this jewelry, and then I'm faced with this challenge to make a dick hard for the first time in my life. And I'm.

[Unknown]

And you're ringed up like this, wearing.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Brass knuckles to a penis and just shredding that shit. Oh, go. And it was a guy on the floor below me. This is freshman year. And I. I was like the next day like, hey, guys, what's up? They're like, what up? BH JH Bad hand job. How do you say that?

[Ryan Sickler]

Bh JH Bad B H. J H, Right? Bad hand job Hannah.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, exactly. I can't even. And I was like. I didn't get it at first. And they were like, you don't remember what you did last night? And I was like, I. I still did not register with me.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're just like holding your hand up your head.

[Unknown]

There's blood all over your ring.

[Ryan Sickler]

And she for the life, me, I don't remember.

[Unknown]

Just dick skin, foreskins. You tore that dude's dick up.

[Ryan Sickler]

See, that's how horny we are, though, when we're young. Like, we will let you cheese grade it and shred it just to get anything. He. He never stopped you, did he?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Didn't stop me. He didn't say anything. So I. I'm a rookie Here. Like, what am I supposed to do? I. I didn't know what I was doing, and this man didn't.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you raw dog it or do you use lotion?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Of course I raw dog that guy. But I guess what helps. Lubed it up to this day, when I, like, do not. I just don't give hand jobs. I'm just like. I'll just. I'll use any other part of my body, but my hands are just.

[Ryan Sickler]

They're off limits.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Off lim. Because I'm. I'm. It's scarring when you have a nickname like that.

[Unknown]

It's scarring for him too, I'm sure. Scarring for everyone involved. You know what I'm saying?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

It'd also be funny if Your rings.

[Ryan Sickler]

Were 14 karat gold and had the green streaks on his dick.

[Unknown]

So, you know, talking about.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, it tripped me out the first time the girls showed me that, like, you know, if you take this, you put on your cheek, I'm like, what the just happened to you? That's how I learned that shit.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. No. God, it was silver.

[Ryan Sickler]

Were you devastated when you, like, they called you, like, bad hand job? Like, did you want it?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I just told you I was a perfectionist. Of course I was devastated. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you went out to prove you were not a bad hand job?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I. No, I. I didn't. I. To this day, I'm. I'm just. Hand jobs are not my thing. It's like, I'm bobbing for apples down there. Yeah, I'm just, like, it. Not using my.

[Unknown]

But I'm not touching it with my hand.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I'll use my elbow. I'm like, nowhere where there's jewelry, Hannah.

[Unknown]

Oh, God damn, that sucks.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. And then I failed ceramics, which is also stuff you have to make out of your hands. So I just feel very incompetent when it comes to. Okay, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Hand things. Not your thing.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Not my thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, my God. So did you see that guy again after that?

[Hannah Dickinson]

He dated my friend. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, but.

[Hannah Dickinson]

So she wasn't my friend until after. Until they were dating for a while.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did she know what happened?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Did she know your nickname, too? Yeah, she knew.

[Unknown]

She knew those scars. She's like, oh, Hannah did this?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, my God.

[Hannah Dickinson]

But I was college. That was college. That was a freshman year.

[Ryan Sickler]

And that was honestly, like, not putting you on the spot here. But, I mean, that was, like, your. Really, your first sexual experience at all?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, that's how that went.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Man, oh, man. I feel worse for you than the dude's Dick, I.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Thank you. I really do.

[Ryan Sickler]

I do. That's more scarring for you than it is for him. That dick will heal. You know, it'll be months, but it'll heal.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And he was from the Valley, so he definitely had had sexual experience. Yeah, exactly. So I'm coming from Virginia. I didn't have highlights at this point. I was just. I don't know. I wore bottom eyeliner. You know, I wasn't on antidepressants yet. There. There were a lot of things in my life that I hadn figured out, so.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, it sounds like you got a little bit of that aggression out on that dick. You know what I mean? Maybe it was helpful.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. I thought I was killing it, but I. I guess I was.

[Ryan Sickler]

You were killing it.

[Unknown]

You were killing it?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, so high school, you. Did you choose to be like, I'm not gonna mess with boys or anything, or is it something that just sort of happened, or were you scared? You know, you got an older brother, nobody. He's not gonna let anybody touch you. Like, what was. What was.

[Hannah Dickinson]

It was one of those things where there were no guys really trying. So I was like, I'm gonna save myself. And my friends are very religious, so I was kind of in this religious circle, but there was no guy peer pressuring me to do anything.

[Ryan Sickler]

Were there guys that were interested, though, like homecoming or prom or not? No, no. You go to homecoming?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I went to homecoming one year.

[Ryan Sickler]

With a guy.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, with a guy, but a friend.

[Ryan Sickler]

I only asked like that because my senior year. I had a girlfriend at the time, but my brothers and friends, they went together as a guy. They didn't want to take a date. They're like, I don't want to buy a corsage and do all that bull, like. Because we had done the homecomings and shit, and they were over it.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, we mostly went as girl. Girl groups, and then I went to one homecoming with a date and one prom with a date. But they were friends. They were guy friends.

[Ryan Sickler]

Guy friends.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Because some of my girlfriends had boyfriends, so they brought their boyfriends. And then I got the leftover guy from the group, so. But no, I just. There weren't guys interested. I don't mean it, like, sad. Yeah, they just weren't interested.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, our guys are so weird in high school or weird forever, but.

[Hannah Dickinson]

But I was also very into my studies. I was captain of the dance team. I was on track. I was in National Honor Society. Like, I was really into getting into a good college, so I didn't care about Boys, Actually I did like a ginger, but he did not like me back.

[Ryan Sickler]

This motherfucker. How's that feel?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Tough. It's still six of them.

[Ryan Sickler]

But wait, if. Okay, so you said a lot of your friends were religious, but if, if there were a boy that were interested and you were interested back, would you have dated? Do you think you would have been intimate or were you just like, nah, that's not for me at all.

[Hannah Dickinson]

You know what I didn't understand? When I got to college and everyone had had sex, I was like, where my mom was. Where up my ass.

[Unknown]

And that's station wagon. The back of that wagon. Where.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Hannah Dickinson]

But even when my mom was working, because my mom started working pretty full time when I was a sophomore in high school, she was always on my ass. So I was like, there was never a time where I could just be gone out of the house. And my mom wasn't sure that parents were home at wherever I was.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, like she would call and check like a responsible parent. Let me talk to Amy's mom.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Exactly.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, of course.

[Hannah Dickinson]

So when people are like, oh, I'm having sex, I. I didn't understand. There was a girl in my high school who had three abortions. And I only say this because, well, I guess I didn't need to say that. But I didn't mean it as like a judgment, you know, like no judgment. But it always shocked me because I'm like, how I How did you have sex three times, let alone three abortions? Like, I. I just, I didn't. I guess that's a very privileged thing to say because my mom was like, around and stuff and my parents were very involved.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, that's it, right?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

I was the house that didn't have parents, me and my two brothers. So I don't have the numbers, but I'm certain people lost their virginity in that place. I'm sure they did. It was only, you know, I've gone to go to bed and I'm like, there's a guy and a girl on my bed. I'm like, can you get the out of my bed so I can go to sleep? And I don't know who that girl is. You know what I mean?

[Hannah Dickinson]

That's wild.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, so that's probably the places there. People like that are finding our cars and. But your friends are religious. So you had mentioned. We talked before this and you said you went to Jesus camp.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I was like, oh, did your parents. And you said no, you wanted to go.

[Unknown]

And it was the opposite.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, because my friends were in this. I was about to call it a cult, but that's not what it is. It's this religious group called Young Life.

[Ryan Sickler]

I just. Yes, go ahead.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And every week they had meetings and I would go. Sometimes they're like, you have to come. It's so fun. I was just peer pressured that way.

[Ryan Sickler]

Into God.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Into God, not away from it. Yeah, like most people are like, oh, try drinking, you know, try pot. My friends were like, come try Jesus, you know, And I went to Young Life a couple times and then they were like, come to camp. It's so fun. And it was so originally.

[Ryan Sickler]

So it's like a what? Just like a church you go to meet at or something locally or someone's house. Oh, okay.

[Hannah Dickinson]

So you play games.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, I didn't.

[Unknown]

Real.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, so.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And then it ends in a prayer. Okay, so it's.

[Ryan Sickler]

What games do you play in religious games?

[Hannah Dickinson]

No, like Jimmy Fallon games, you know, like Pictionary or like, like. But like dizzy bat, you know, just silly games. And it ends with a prayer. It ends with a prayer. So they kind of sneak it in there. Like God is always in the room, but it's not talked about to the last 15 minutes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Got it.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And they said, come to camp. It's not religious at all. That's what I was told. It's. The food is great. And that's what sold me. They were like, the food is phenomenal. There was a Lake you could do. There was parasailing. Sailing. You did.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where do you go? Out of state or.

[Hannah Dickinson]

It was. I want to say it was in Virginia, but it might have been in Ohio.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was it called?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Young Life.

[Ryan Sickler]

So wait, you go to this camp. It's on the water.

[Hannah Dickinson]

It's on the wall. Yeah, it's. It's. They have slides into the water. You have it.

[Ryan Sickler]

It was just, like, hundreds of people there, too.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. And it's kids.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, hell, look at this.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, you get to go tubing.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at this. You can tube for Jesus right here. This is all for Jesus.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Exactly.

[Unknown]

Back for Jesus.

[Hannah Dickinson]

It doesn't look religious at all.

[Ryan Sickler]

Right, listen. It doesn't, but that font, that font.

That facilities looks a little. Christy. You know what I mean?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, the T does have. It's got the cross on it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Looks a little. Yeah. Crucifixi.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. And then check it out.

[Ryan Sickler]

What, do they drop the religion at the bottom of the thing, too? Like, at the end of it, like, you wakeboard all day and then, like, bring it in, guys. And then they have a prayer.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, pretty much. So we got there, and they were like, okay, we need these four random people. And it was me and these three other people. It was their first time at camp, and they put us on the tube, and that was. And we had a tube in front of everyone at the camp to see who got thrown off first.

[Ryan Sickler]

How'd you do?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I was thrown off first.

[Ryan Sickler]

You did?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Should have had those rings on. You know what?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I'm like, death grip. I. Yeah, that was pre ring. Pre ring. I told you, my hands are not my strong suit. I can't hold on to. And yet you're boating. It's.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's all this.

[Hannah Dickinson]

All this. And the food is so good.

[Ryan Sickler]

So my friends are involved in this. My friend's wife is involved in this. And I just had gone out to visit them, and they were at a convention for young life. And I never heard of this. I'd never seen it. All right, But I'm saying there were.

Thousands of people from around the world that.

That were counselors or employees of this thing. Not even the.

The members.

So I can't imagine how big this thing is. So. So you go the way of Jesus all of high school. Like, when do you say, never mind to that?

[Hannah Dickinson]

When I went to usc.

[Unknown]

What happened?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Joined a sorority. I. Yeah. I. Well, so at camp, every night, we had to do, like, religious ceremonies.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are all virgins right here by the Way virgins. This is an STD camp right now? Yeah, until we all get out there.

[Hannah Dickinson]

It's. Honestly, it kind of reminded me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, there's a bit Bible right there.

[Hannah Dickinson]

This is the night ceremonies.

[Ryan Sickler]

And how long are they?

[Hannah Dickinson]

An hour.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you doing that? Were you up there doing any of that stuff?

[Hannah Dickinson]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

You weren't chopping wood or.

[Hannah Dickinson]

No, we had to turn our.

[Ryan Sickler]

These girls are in bikinis and stuff. This would seem difficult for any normal child in their raging hormones to try not to. Do you think people. Do they have sex there?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I bet someone did.

[Ryan Sickler]

Statistically. Statistically, somebody. Two people did.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it's probably two guys.

[Unknown]

That's my guess.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. That's why I don't know about it. Yeah, you're so right. Yeah. The hot tubbing, this all.

[Unknown]

You remember all this?

[Ryan Sickler]

Huh?

[Unknown]

Look at it. Bringing it back.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. I remember one night we had to watch Jesus part.

[Ryan Sickler]

It looks awesome.

[Hannah Dickinson]

It was. That was the thing. But then they'd chime that bell and we'd have to go in and listen to these Jesus chants. And we had to watch Passion of the Christ one night. Yeah, the part where they're carrying the. And then we had to go around and, like, sit in a corner and think about the movie and cry. And I was just like, this is so weird. And my parents had made me watch that movie, Jesus Camp, before I went, because my parents were like, you can go, but we don't want you turning into being brainwashed. Being brainwashed. Because this was.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, I've never seen this.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Just like 2007 when I went. Yeah. And, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

And was there a lot of that? Any speaking in tongues or people crying?

[Hannah Dickinson]

A lot of the Holy Spirit, holding your hands up, turning your chair around to Jesus.

[Ryan Sickler]

What does that do? What do you. What do you mean?

[Hannah Dickinson]

You had to flip it towards Jesus.

[Ryan Sickler]

The open part.

[Hannah Dickinson]

The open part.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh. So you'd start with the thing on your chest, and then you turn. Okay. Got it.

[Hannah Dickinson]

So that you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Now you're opening yourself to Jesus.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And now Jesus is in your life.

[Ryan Sickler]

All because you turned a chair.

[Hannah Dickinson]

All because you turned a chair around. You had to do it in front of everyone. And my friends were like, hannah, turn your chair around. Turn your chair around. I was like, I can't. I just. I couldn't do it because I knew it was a lie. I was like, I don't.

[Ryan Sickler]

You didn't do it?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I didn't do it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I just.

[Ryan Sickler]

Were the only person in the whole camp that was like, no, I was.

[Hannah Dickinson]

The only person who was new, who didn't do it?

[Ryan Sickler]

Other people were not doing it. That had been there.

[Hannah Dickinson]

That had been there and. But they were looking at me like, hannah, turn your chair around, please.

[Ryan Sickler]

And what would you say?

[Hannah Dickinson]

I just said, I. That would be a lie. And that's worse. Isn't that a sin to lie? Because I didn't believe it. So I was like this.

[Ryan Sickler]

And they got the Garth Brooks headset, and they're like, hannah, could you please just.

[Hannah Dickinson]

If you could please come up. Like, I can't.

[Unknown]

Turn your chair.

[Ryan Sickler]

Come on, guys, turn your chair.

[Unknown]

Turn your. Lot of that stuff.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Put your hands up for Hannah, guys.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And I was like.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you didn't do it.

[Hannah Dickinson]

You stayed strong.

[Ryan Sickler]

How long did they, like go at you to try to get you to turn the chair?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Probably like five minutes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Damn, that's a long ass time.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah, I know. They were like, come on, do it. And I felt like five minutes. It probably was like 10 seconds. But I was like, like sweating. And I was just like. I was torn because I was like, of course I wanna pander, but if God is real, then turning my chair around to Jesus if I wasn't ready would be a lie.

[Ryan Sickler]

Because you weren't ready.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I wasn't ready.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what it really was.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. So I honestly think I'm more religious now. Not necessarily God and Jesus, but I believe in something spiritual versus religious. Yes, but that's rehab. Rehab is like adult Jesus camp kind of.

[Ryan Sickler]

Listen, I'll say this. I grew up Catholic, I grew up communion, confirmation, all of it, right? Baptism, the whole thing, all the way to 12th grade, all the way to high school, just Sunday school. Had to go do it. And then once my, like, dad died, my grandma was like, I'd really appreciate you guys still going. We're like, so we did it. But that's what turned me off to Jesus and God and religion is just their message, just the way they are. Then I would go to other French churches and I'm like, man, this one seems cooler than. Oh, you know what I mean? That old archaic. And they're kids and everything else. Why do we got to be here?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Did you know it at the time?

[Ryan Sickler]

I knew it at the time because they made us. They would do these lock inside, right? So they would have them. They would do them at the church. And then the bottom, where the we CCD classes, you know, Caddy. My grandmother would say, catechism. We say Catholic Church attention. But it was a Sunday school, right? And then they would make you so for so when you get older, for confirmation, it's baptism, communion, confirmation. You would have to do, like, you know, volunteer hours and like, that. I'm to say to my, like, like, uncle, like, can I just sign this and say, I washed your car? You know, like that. And they did this lock in one night. My friend Anthony Biasel and I are there, and it was this dude. I'll say his first name, it was Robert. And that dude supposedly got in trouble for inappropriate behavior and was shipped out to Seattle. And he was a weird dude. And one night he came up to Anthony and I at this lock in. And Anthony and I were friends. We're probably in ninth grade, tenth grade. And he just comes right up to us and we're standing side by side, and he's just like, this is way better than staying home and jerking off on a. On a Thursday or a Friday night, isn't it? And Anthony BSL and I don't look at each other, we just look at him.

[Unknown]

And at the same time we go, no, I had no idea he was gonna say it. He had no idea I was gonna say we were fucking best friends after that. And I'm like, it definitely does not.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'd much rather be home jerking off right now. But he would say shit like that, that. And so then next thing you know, it's like, hey, he's been replaced. And we're like, that's interesting. So, yeah, I got rid of all that after, and I'm like, I'm just gonna take, you know, the parts I learned and liked and move on with this. And y'all can have that. No divorce and all that, you know.

[Hannah Dickinson]

That'S how I felt. Because gay marriage was. Again, they were against gay people in 2007, which was crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

And young life.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. It was just like, that's a sin. Gay people.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are they still.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I imagine, no, because.

[Ryan Sickler]

Because those people have grown up, had kids. Now these people are coming in. Yeah, washed out a little bit.

[Hannah Dickinson]

But my aunt's gay, so I was like, I. I felt like this weird turning my back on my family in a weird way if I was for Jesus. Because I was like, well, then I.

[Ryan Sickler]

Don'T believe a lot of turns in this. You know what I mean? They're trying to get you to turn all kinds of ways. Turn back on your family, turn your chest to Jesus. So what happens when you say no? They finally move on. But are you, like, are they disappointed?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Like, of course, of course.

[Unknown]

Are they just guilt the out of you?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. It's like, we want you in heaven with us.

[Unknown]

But, yeah, you ain't making it.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the other thing that gives me a little piece is that if all this is real, I've got the documents, you know what I'm saying? I got the baptism communion confirmation paperwork. I can just roll right on in.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I'm sorry.

[Unknown]

I got all that.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I'm not.

[Unknown]

I'm like, I see y'all. I got it. Didn't believe it the whole time, but believe it or not, I did the work. I put it in up front, you know what I mean? Got out of the way. I got the paperwork in case this shit's real.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I guess I have the receipt to Young Life Camp.

[Unknown]

What if they're like, what if for.

[Ryan Sickler]

Real, this is all real? And they were like, all you had to do is turn that chair around.

[Unknown]

What if that's it? You know what I'm saying? What if all this is that stupid?

[Hannah Dickinson]

It's a good thing I'm cold blooded, you know? And I like warm temperatures, cuz I guess we want to. Hell, yeah. Jesus. Can't they take your phone?

[Ryan Sickler]

Do they really?

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you can't even contact your parents for how long? The whole time.

[Hannah Dickinson]

A week?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, a whole week.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I'm telling you, it's like rehab. It really is.

[Ryan Sickler]

It is. Huh?

[Hannah Dickinson]

So we weren't allowed to take photos. I. Which is kind of creepy.

[Ryan Sickler]

No contact with nobody outside of that.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Well, because you want to have full communication with God. God, yeah. You need to keep those lines open.

[Ryan Sickler]

You got. You got to turn that chair around first, you know, so it can. So the lines can come through the wood, I guess.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yeah. Mine wouldn't know, so.

[Unknown]

I love that you stood around like, I ain't doing it.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I was always kind of a rebel that way.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know what? Now you're making me think about this. I remember a time when at one of these lock ins where they would go around, they make everybody. They would sing Kumbaya, you know, and then he'd keep playing the guitar quiet. He'd be like, hannah, go ahead. And he'd be like, I'm thankful for. Or whatever, you know? And there was this one older lady who was a chaperone, and I just remember her saying, I'm just so glad my kids aren't like. She said that. Listen, I swear to God, I'm not making. She's like, I'm so glad my kids aren't retarded. I'm so glad that everyone in my family is healthy and that we have money and a roof overhead.

[Unknown]

There's people just looking at this, like, what we allowed to say that?

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, could I go? I'm grateful. I'm not.

[Unknown]

You know, it's crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I was like, she thinks this is nice. You know what I mean? She's like, I'm blessed.

[Unknown]

I'm like, yeah, God bless you, lady.

[Hannah Dickinson]

I bet people still pray that at night a little bit in their. In the privacy of their own home.

[Ryan Sickler]

Please don't let my kids be.

[Unknown]

Definitely praying, Especially if they know who they really are. You know what I mean? If they're true with themselves, they're definitely praying. Remember that?

[Hannah Dickinson]

That is so.

[Ryan Sickler]

I couldn't believe a grown adult said that to, like, like, a church camp.

[Hannah Dickinson]

And she expects everyone to be like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, yeah, me too. Oh, God bless you. God bless you, Katie, you know.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Good one.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Sickler]

Also, you meet her kids, you're like.

[Unknown]

I don't know about that. You know, I don't know. God might have touched that one right.

[Hannah Dickinson]

There for her to say that out loud.

[Unknown]

Say that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Hannah Dickinson]

So that's me. I was always a fashionista. My dad actually dressed me.

[Ryan Sickler]

What's going on there? He dressed you in that picture or you did that?

[Hannah Dickinson]

My dad had a heavy influence. He did my fashion choices, Yes. A lot of people would call my dad Metro growing up, which I don't think people say anymore.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, well, thank you. Please promote again.

[Hannah Dickinson]

Yes. Instagram at Hans Dickey. H A N S D I C K I E. That's it.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're so funny. Thanks for doing this. I get a kick out of you as always, Ryan Sickler on all social media. We'll talk to you all next week.