74: The Wayback #74 | Harland Williams

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Wayback #74 | Harland Williams

Title: The Wayback with Ryan Sickler
Episode: 74
Guest: Justin Schlegel
Release Date: May 29, 2025

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I. Introduction

Ryan Sickler kicks off the episode with an enthusiastic promotion for his upcoming live show at the Horseshoe Casino in Baltimore. He invites listeners from surrounding regions to join for what promises to be a memorable night, featuring special guest Justin Schlegel from 98 Rock.

Notable Quote:

Ryan Sickler (00:00): "It's the last show of my Live and Alive tour. Go to RyanSickler.com Saturday, June 28th. Get your tickets, Come see me at the Horseshoe Casino."

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II. Welcoming Justin Schlegel

Harlan Williams warmly welcomes Justin Schlegel back to "The Wayback," highlighting him as the first repeat guest on the show. The camaraderie between Ryan, Harlan, and Justin sets a nostalgic and friendly tone for the episode.

Notable Quotes:

Harlan Williams (00:39): "Welcome back to the Way Back. Everybody, Ryan Sickler here. Thank you for supporting this show. I love doing this show."

Justin Schlegel (01:08): "Cheers."

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III. Justin Schlegel’s Early Life and Childhood

Justin delves into his upbringing in North York, Toronto, sharing vivid memories of his childhood home at 10 Elfandale Crescent in the Henry Farms area. He recounts the unique environment, once owned by the Governor of Ontario, and the transformation of farmland into residential neighborhoods.

Notable Quote:

Justin Schlegel (02:01): "It's beautiful area. And then they sold the farmland, kept his house and... Oh my God, there's my house. Oh wow, memories."

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IV. Adventures and Misadventures

Justin shares entertaining stories from his youth, including his fascination with music through one of the first Walkmans in North America. He reminisces about sneaking out to listen to Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" while sunbathing on rooftops, highlighting his early love for music and a sense of rebellion.

Notable Quote:

Justin Schlegel (03:41): "I spend many, many days and nights... I'd lay up there and listen to Pink Floyd, Dark side of the Moon."

A particularly wild anecdote involves Justin and his friends finding and, regrettably, mishandling a dead cat during their explorations. This story takes a dramatic turn when Justin describes the mishap of throwing a pipe that resulted in a large bump on his forehead.

Notable Quote:

Justin Schlegel (13:08): "We were dripping the plastic straps of fire onto the dead cat... And then... I throw the pipe down, it misses the cat... but he bounced back up and hit me right in the forehead."

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V. Sharing Bad Haircut Stories

Transitioning to a lighter topic, Harlan Williams introduces a segment focused on "horrible haircuts." Both Justin and Harlan share their own regrettable haircut experiences, inviting listeners to submit their photos for a fun and relatable discussion.

Notable Quotes:

Harlan Williams (11:33): "Have you ever had one? Like, do you remember it?"

Justin Schlegel (11:43): "I gave it to myself on the worst night or day of my life."

Justin recounts the day he decided to cut his own hair, resulting in a "Dumb and Dumber" inspired look that left him with a prominent hump on his forehead.

Notable Quote:

Justin Schlegel (18:18): "I literally just got the scissors and went right across my bangs... I look like I'm going to say it like a tard."

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VI. 70s Fashion Trends

The conversation shifts to the fashion of the 1970s, with Justin and Harlan reminiscing about the distinctive shoe styles that were popular during their teenage years. They discuss elevator shoes, earth shoes, and clogs, each with unique characteristics that defined the era's fashion.

Notable Quotes:

Justin Schlegel (26:24): "In boarding school, the big fashion, believe it or not, was shoes. There were three types of shoes the kids wore."

Harlan Williams (27:40): "Back to fashion. Elevator shoes were like... big heels."

They also share humorous observations about the impracticality and boldness of these shoe choices, highlighting the playful nature of their youth.

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VII. Closing Remarks and Promotions

As the episode wraps up, Justin promotes his various projects, including his podcast "The Harland Highway," his stand-up tour, and his upcoming movie "Wingman." Harlan and Ryan reiterate their appreciation for Justin’s participation and encourage listeners to check out his work.

Notable Quotes:

Justin Schlegel (28:19): "Check out the Harlan Highway Podcast on YouTube every Tuesday... watch for the movie Wingman... coming soon."

Harlan Williams (28:27): "This is a fun episode, brother. Thank you for doing this."

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Conclusion

Episode 74 of "The Wayback with Ryan Sickler" featuring Justin Schlegel offers a blend of heartfelt nostalgia, humorous anecdotes, and lighthearted discussions about youth and fashion. Through engaging storytelling and genuine interaction, the hosts and guest create an entertaining journey down memory lane, resonating with listeners who appreciate the blend of laughter and reflection.

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Listener Engagement:

Listeners are encouraged to submit their own photos of bad haircuts to The Wayback Pod at [e-mail] for a chance to be featured in future episodes. This interactive segment fosters a sense of community and shared experiences among the audience.

Notable Quote:

Harlan Williams (26:11): "Send your worst haircuts to the Wayback Pod. Gmail.com. Send us photos. That's me during wrestling."

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Stay Connected:

Follow Ryan Sickler and the show on all social media platforms to stay updated on future episodes and live shows.

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This episode encapsulates the essence of "The Wayback" – a nostalgic voyage filled with laughter, personal stories, and a touch of wistful reflection, all while celebrating the unique journeys of its guests.

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

Baltimore. I'll be at the Horseshoe Casino, Saturday, June 28. One night only, one show only. If you live In Maryland, Virginia, D.C. delaware, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, I don't care. Get your tickets now. Come down, pack this show out. I got special guest Justin Schlegel from 98 Rock working with me that night. It's going to be a great show. Get your tickets now. Don't wait. It's the last show of my Live and Alive tour. Go to Ryan Sickler.com Saturday, June 28th. Get your tickets, Come see me at the Horseshoe Casino.

[Harlan Williams]

Hey baby, we going to be here all day. We going to be here all day, baby. I like that kind of party. Welcome back to the Way Back. Everybody, Ryan Sickler here. Thank you for supporting this show. I love doing this show. It's such a fun show. Make sure you're watching, subscribing, commenting, all that to help out. Very excited to have this guest back here with me. Our first repeat guest on the way back. Ladies and gentlemen, Harlan Williams. Welcome back.

[Justin Schlegel]

Cheers.

[Harlan Williams]

Cheers.

[Justin Schlegel]

Wow.

[Harlan Williams]

You gotta watch Harlan's first episode for one of the most iconic two word quotes I've ever heard in my life.

[Justin Schlegel]

Hi, stupid.

[Harlan Williams]

Hey, stupid. Yeah, Paul Stobbs, before we get into adventures in this episode, why don't you promote whatever you'd like right here, please, buddy.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, check my podcast out the Harland highway on YouTube. Every Tuesday we drop a new episode. My, my man's been on it three times.

[Harlan Williams]

So fun, dude.

[Justin Schlegel]

Also, my touring schedule for standup@harlan williams.com, my Instagram Harlan Williams. And keep your eyes peeled for my new movie called Wingman that I wrote and directed. Hopefully coming out sometime soon. We'll keep you posted.

[Harlan Williams]

Good for you, dude.

[Justin Schlegel]

Thank you.

[Harlan Williams]

So you're a Canadian boy, as we know.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Let's talk about where you grew up. One of your, you know, you remember an address in an old house.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, the house I grew up in, 10 Elfandale Crescent. Of course, it had to be a weird name. So it was in North York, in Toronto, Canada, in a place called Henry Farms. The governor of Ontario actually owned the area. It was his farmland. It's beautiful area. And then they sold the farmland, kept his house and. Oh my God, there's my house. Oh wow, memories. That's the land, the governor's land. They finally sold it. They kept his houses still there and they turned it into like these neighborhoods.

[Harlan Williams]

When's the last time you were there?

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh my gosh, I haven't been there.

[Harlan Williams]

This is 2007. Look at that.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

So the basketball hoops update, it was this. Did you have the hoop up there?

[Justin Schlegel]

No, there was no basketball in Canada when I was a kid.

[Ryan Sickler]

Show us where you.

[Harlan Williams]

What are the rooms in the house here?

[Justin Schlegel]

So the top right is my mom and dad's room.

[Harlan Williams]

Mm.

[Justin Schlegel]

And the top left was my two sisters, Megan and Teresa. And then I was behind them.

[Harlan Williams]

Okay.

[Justin Schlegel]

See where that drain pipe is? I was back there.

[Harlan Williams]

What's this? Just the hallway or stairwell window here?

[Justin Schlegel]

That's my mom and dad's room. They had the big room, so they had two windows.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, Oh, I see.

[Justin Schlegel]

And then down on the left was our living room. And then that's our garage. And then on the right was a little den. We had a den in there.

[Harlan Williams]

And do you have, like, a lot of kids your age in this neighborhood?

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, yeah. We would fill the streets with street hockey.

[Harlan Williams]

Is this a cul de sac? Can you spin around, Carson?

[Justin Schlegel]

No, it's not a cul de sac. It's a cred. Kind of goes around and then back around the top, so.

[Harlan Williams]

And are you sneaking out here? Like, what are you doing?

[Justin Schlegel]

Well, I'm sneaking out of my. My back. My back window went right out to the roof. So I spent many, many days and nights especially I'd climb on the garage roof. Then I'd go up to the top part, and I'd lay there. And I was one of the first kids, I think, in North America that had a Walkman, and I'd lay up there and listen to Pink Floyd, Dark side of the Moon.

[Harlan Williams]

Is that true?

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

How are you the first one of the first kids to have one?

[Justin Schlegel]

So I had a weekend job working at a hotel that was nearby, setting up the banquet room.

[Harlan Williams]

What's the name of the hotel?

[Justin Schlegel]

That was the Prince Hotel at that point in time, by the way, the amount of times I shoveled that driveway with Canadian snow. Right.

[Harlan Williams]

Bet you bet, bro. Like, have a little tractor with a.

[Justin Schlegel]

No, we eventually got a snowblower, but that's the other thing with my Walkman. I used to put my Walkman on and shovel that driveway.

[Harlan Williams]

What about cutting the grass? Who's doing that? You?

[Justin Schlegel]

I did that. Me and my dad, but.

[Harlan Williams]

Push mower.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah. Lawn boy. Green lawn boy.

[Harlan Williams]

Do you have a big backyard as well?

[Justin Schlegel]

Big backyard, yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

So just push, though. You're pushing.

[Justin Schlegel]

Pushing it. Yeah. But. Yeah, so. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. That was more like it.

[Harlan Williams]

A bag catcher.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, Bag catcher.

[Harlan Williams]

Speed. It's a nice one, man.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Lawnmower.

[Justin Schlegel]

Sometimes I'd sneak down to the garage at night and lay with it. Well, I didn't like the word boy, but the lawn part.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so wait, you would go where again?

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Harlan Williams]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Harlan Williams]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Justin Schlegel]

I worked at the Prince Hotel.

[Harlan Williams]

Does this sit here?

[Justin Schlegel]

There it is. And I was one of the, the banquet kids. I would set up the banquet rooms for conferences and stuff that. And one year Sony came in and we set up their thing and, and that year they, they laid out all their upcoming products that. That had never been introduced to the world. And I. I was setting up and I there saw them and I said to the guy who worked for Sony, I go, what's this thing? He goes, oh, that's coming out soon. It's called a Walkman. And I go, what is it? And he goes. He goes, here, put these headphones on. And up to that point, it had been AM fm car radio.

[Harlan Williams]

To your left over there.

[Justin Schlegel]

Where?

[Harlan Williams]

Look at the Walkman right there on the table. Hulk Hogan's wearing headphones. Oh, yeah, Walkman. Yeah, I know that was later on, but. But that's.

[Justin Schlegel]

We. Yeah, so we had. We had car radios, we had record players.

[Harlan Williams]

This one, too. The metal one?

[Justin Schlegel]

Yep, the metal one. And my. There's it on the right. It's that one. That was the first one.

[Harlan Williams]

Wow.

[Justin Schlegel]

I still have it to this day.

[Harlan Williams]

You do?

[Justin Schlegel]

Yep. And this guy said, you know, we. All we had was car radio stuff like that. He goes, he goes, put these headphones on. And he put them on my head and that stereo sound. And I just went, what in the name? Like, it was like. It was like the first time seeing Star Wars. I just went, whoa. Like, I couldn't believe it. So I asked the guy, I go, where do you get these and how much are they? And it was a lot of money. But he said, there's one place in all of Toronto that's going to have one in about six weeks. And so I wrote it down and I went there and I saved all my money and I bought it. And I remember going to high school and I had. And people like, why are you wearing headphones? In a school, no one wore headphones. And I did the same thing. I go, put these on. And the kids would just be like, what? Like, they couldn't believe that.

[Harlan Williams]

Back to the stereo, put some old Marty McFly.

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, yeah. The sound was like, no one had ever heard anything like it. So I was like a superstar in high school because no one had one. So I would lay on my roof at night and listened. In the summer, I'd just be up there in my shorts, staring at the moon, the stars, listening to Dark side of the Moon and all these. All this stuff. Yeah, it was wild. So that was where I grew up. And then my neighbor, Mr. Jim, he lived right next door.

[Harlan Williams]

Which house? If we're looking at your house to the right.

[Justin Schlegel]

So Jim here. So picture that. To Catch a mockingbird. And Mr. Jim was the Boo Radley of our neighborhood. So that whole lawn, the Grass was this high. While I was a kid, it was. He never cut the lawn was unkempt, newspapers in the window. But the nicest guy you've ever met. And all we knew him as was Mr. Jim. And of all the kooky neighbors, of course we were beside him. And this guy was from Newfoundland, and he was a complete nut, but he was the nicest guy. And my parents, they never took us for junk food or ordered food. They're sort of cheap that way. And he would take me and my sisters to Dairy Queen. He'd drive us, and it was my first exposure to fart jokes. He would tell fart jokes while we were driving to Dairy Queen. And me and my sister's like an adult talking about farts, like, telling jokes like we were busting over. We couldn't breathe. We loved Mr. Jim, but he was. None of the other neighbors talked to him. Everyone was afraid of him, but he treated us like his. Like gold. And that's cool. He was amazing. We loved him. Yeah, but a real quirky, weird guy. I don't think he's there anymore, but.

[Harlan Williams]

Something I wanted to ask about. So we had Chelsea Lynn on, and Kirsten dug up a haircut of hers where she was like, what the. And I was like, well, wow. I gotta tell you, you're not the only person who ever had horrible haircuts. We started getting this idea about.

[Justin Schlegel]

Right.

[Harlan Williams]

Showing horrible haircuts. So this was Chelsea's right here. She called it.

[Justin Schlegel]

Her.

[Harlan Williams]

She called. I was like, is that. I thought it was her brother.

[Justin Schlegel]

I thought it was Chris Farley.

[Harlan Williams]

She said, it's her Chris Farley era. She said, this is my Chris Farley era. And we decided that we've all had these bad haircuts. You ever have one?

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Like, do you remember it?

[Justin Schlegel]

I. And I gave it to myself.

[Harlan Williams]

What do you mean?

[Justin Schlegel]

And I gave it to myself on the worst night or day of my life.

[Harlan Williams]

What happened?

[Justin Schlegel]

So just down the road from this house you're looking at, if you were to go down to the bottom of that hill and take a right, there's a place called Havenbrook Park. And it was this beautiful park with a hill. And this is where we'd go to toboggan everyone from the neighborhood. Yeah, there it is. And had a great big hill. And everyone would go there and toboggan down the hill in the winter. And to the right of it, up on the other side of the hill, there's a tennis club. Yeah, there it is, the tennis club. So when I Was a little boy. They were building that tennis court.

[Harlan Williams]

Okay.

[Justin Schlegel]

And me and my friends would sneak onto the construction site, and of course, Canada's cold, and they had all these, like, bricks and cinder blocks with the plastic strapping around them. You know, that little yellow strapping to hold.

[Harlan Williams]

Rip your hands apart.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, yeah. So we're poking around in there one afternoon, and we find a dead cat. And it's sort of stiff because it's cold. Right. So being the goofy little kids we are, there's about. I think there was three or four of us. We get this dead cat, and it's kind of morbid, but remember, we're like 12 years old and frozen. It wasn't frozen, but it's sort of mid. Like, it was refrigerated. Let's put it that way. It was Ontario, Canada. Refrigerated.

[Harlan Williams]

Gotcha.

[Justin Schlegel]

So at that point in our lives, me and my buddies, we love to light matches. And, you know, you'd burn things to see how they'd burn, like plastic or wood or. We were just curious. Like, a lot of kids played with matches, and we decided we wanted to. For whatever you were kids. We lit the plastic straps and they would stay on fire for a little bit, and they'd melt like candles. So we were dripping the plastic straps of fire onto the dead cat.

[Harlan Williams]

I see. Yeah.

[Justin Schlegel]

Like, you know, it sounds ridiculous, but that's just what we did. So you could smell the burnt hair and all that. So we did that for about half an hour. And then for whatever reason, there was a pipe laying on the ground, Like a big piece of some round pipe. And I just thought, well, we've already burned the cat. I'm going to throw the pipe at the cat. You know, my kid, remember? So I throw the pipe down, it misses the cat, and this is probably God's retribution. The pipe bounces back up, hits me right in the forehead, and I whipped it, man. And you just hear went, clang, clang, clank. It flew off. And within about 30 seconds, the biggest bump you've ever seen just grew out of my forehead. It was about just like this. Run. It's like a bag of jiffy Pop. It just went like. It was huge. Yeah. Right in there is where we burned the cat.

[Harlan Williams]

Right in there in that little pit.

[Justin Schlegel]

No, right by the tennis court, there's a little building.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, I see this building.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, Right there is where we did the black mass. We burned a cat. We didn't. We didn't. It didn't incinerate. We're just making These little melted drops, and they would land on the cat. And that's sort of what I looked.

[Harlan Williams]

You got right here. Look at that.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, I was about halfway to click.

[Harlan Williams]

On one of them.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, it was about halfway. It's about halfway to that ostrich. Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Crazy. Got hit on, like, a vein or a nerve or something.

[Justin Schlegel]

But he earned it. He was in a fight. I threw a pipe. But I mean, come on, man.

[Harlan Williams]

I. So I worked at a junkyard growing up through high school. My friend Shannon's dad had one. And there was a time where we all were, you know, 14, 15. We each had our own yard car. So we're driving around the. The property and stuff with our own little car. Busted door or whatever one's missing. And one day we're up there, and we're burning seats. We're not supposed to be burning seats, but we're burning seats because when you get all the cloth off of it, there's this metal and stuff in it.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Okay. And then. Then we put that in a dumpster, and that goes to recycle. Right, Right. So we're burning these seats into the sky, and we had a feral cat problem, but we fed them.

[Justin Schlegel]

Okay.

[Harlan Williams]

We didn't have junkyard dogs. We had junkyard cats. And one day, we've got this dumpster sitting here on the slot. We. We hear this.

[Justin Schlegel]

Her. Her.

[Harlan Williams]

And I'm like, what is that? We don't have a dog. What the is that? And it's me and a buddy of mine. We look over, and I'm like, oh, my God. It's this raccoon. I swear to God, dude, It had one solid blue eye, one solid white eye.

[Justin Schlegel]

That's a husky.

[Harlan Williams]

Okay?

[Justin Schlegel]

That was a husky.

[Harlan Williams]

It's on its back legs. I mean, on its all four. And it's. But it's bouncing, jumping up like this.

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, nothing. Husky on a trampoline.

[Harlan Williams]

And we're like, what the. So we start throwing rocks at this thing. Oh, he's not doing anything. And I'm like, either this thing's rabid, or maybe it has babies and it's protecting it. I don't know what it is. So it's charging at us and trying to bite us. And we're. We've sprint. I jump back into our pickup truck. We haul ass. We go down to the office. We're like, there's a rabid raccoon up there. We got to get up there to get our.

[Justin Schlegel]

Whoa.

[Harlan Williams]

So my friend Shannon's grandparents live a mile from the junkyard. So he goes to their house to get his grandfather's shotgun to come back to kill the rest.

[Justin Schlegel]

Shoot it.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, but we live in the county. We're out in Carroll County, Maryland. And a customer comes. He's like, I got a pistol in the car. We're like, you do? Can we all go up and shoot it? And we were like, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, we can.

[Justin Schlegel]

Whoa.

[Harlan Williams]

So a customer goes up with us, takes his gun out, puts the sight right on it. Boom. Shoots that thing in the head and drops it. And I swear to God, Harlan Williams, it got back up.

[Justin Schlegel]

Whoa.

[Harlan Williams]

Like a zombie record. It went down and it started coming. He said, we're all screaming grown meds. This guy's shooting and he's like, this is an awesome day, guys. Thank you so much. He came up, shot the. Out of that.

[Justin Schlegel]

That's crazy.

[Harlan Williams]

So then we're burning seats. We decide we're gonna take the blowtorch. We're gonna. We're gonna throw this thing in the dumpster. Why not? And I will say this. It did 100 smell just like chicken.

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, wow.

[Harlan Williams]

Like, if there's ever an apocalypse, we could. That. We could definitely go raccoon.

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, definitely.

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, if there's ever an apocalypse, I'd eat your grandmother. I mean, humans. Humans are savages. When the raccoons are gone, we'll eat anything that's meat. I mean, holy God, I need a KFC sign.

[Harlan Williams]

So tell us. Give us a bad haircut.

[Justin Schlegel]

Well, here's the rest of the story. I throw the pipe. Now I'm at this time, I'm going to boarding school, and I'm only home for the weekend. During the week, I have to go to boarding school. So I live at the boarding school. I go home, it's Sunday night, It's about three o' clock, and for one of the first times in my life, I don't know why, I decided I'm going to give myself a haircut. So I did Jim Carrey's Dumb and Dumber haircut doesn't help. I literally just got the scissors and went right across my bangs on the night that I had a giant golden Globus award on my face. And so now I cut my hair. I look like I'm going to say it like a tard. And I got this giant hump on my forehead.

[Harlan Williams]

She's drawing all kinds of attention.

[Justin Schlegel]

So right after I did it, I go, why did I do that? So now on Sunday night, it's a Quaker boarding school. And on Sunday nights, they have what's Called the worship. And we have to go to the assembly hall. And the headmaster, Harry M. Beer, stands up front, and he looks like the guy from Poltergeist 2 that looks through the screen and goes, let me in. Let me in. He looks like that guy, Skeleton face. He looked Harry and Beer looked like that guy. So now I'm standing in. I'm standing in assembly. We have to stand up. And this guy's really stoic and really intense. He's the headmaster. And we're all there on the chairs. I'm saying all the kids are looking at Frankenstein here. But as we're standing there, one of the kids did the old gag where they pulled my chair. So when I sat down, I crashed down on the ground. The chairs went flying, and Harry Beer's just looking, and I'm standing there with a freaking welt on my Dumb and Dumber haircut. It was the worst. Like, the worst coming together of ideas. Like, first of all, burning a cat, getting piped, and then cutting my hair all back to back all happened together. It was ridiculous.

[Harlan Williams]

What's the school called? Pickering College.

[Justin Schlegel]

Pickering College.

[Harlan Williams]

Look this up.

[Justin Schlegel]

It's Quaker boarding school. I went there for three years. Unbelievable.

[Harlan Williams]

What years of high school did you go there? This was grade, like, 10, 11, 12.

[Justin Schlegel]

You graduated? No, this was grade seven, eight, and nine.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, okay.

[Justin Schlegel]

I was like a boy.

[Harlan Williams]

There it is. Pickering College.

[Justin Schlegel]

I see Pickering College. You got the big pillars on the front. We used to have. My first crack at skateboarding was up and down that driveway. We had a big, long driveway.

[Harlan Williams]

Goes right up.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, right up there. There's the Pillars of Pickering, they call it. See the pillars there? I could tell you I could go on forever with stories about this place. Holy God. But I used to skateboard up and down this driveway. Pickering College.

[Harlan Williams]

So let's jump to haircuts. Kirsten, will you bring mine up?

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, we're gonna look at some bad haircuts. I don't know if you could beat my Dumb and Dumber dead cat pipe.

[Harlan Williams]

Haircut, but I got two of them.

[Justin Schlegel]

That'll be okay.

[Harlan Williams]

So this is my ninth grade freshman year picture.

[Justin Schlegel]

Okay, here we go. Whoa. Okay, Karate Kid.

[Harlan Williams]

Look at the.

[Justin Schlegel]

Minus the karate.

[Harlan Williams]

My hair was so thick. Look at the wings on the side. Like, if you look at this side over here, it's just. It's. It's like that Sam Malone from Cheers hair.

[Justin Schlegel]

I'd say more like. What was the name of the maid on Brady Bunch?

[Harlan Williams]

Alice.

[Justin Schlegel]

You look a lot like Alice right there. Yeah, I think. Let's get real, guys.

[Harlan Williams]

Bring up Alice for the Brady Bunch.

[Justin Schlegel]

If we're gonna be honest. Let's be honest. Come on, dude. Yeah. There she is.

[Harlan Williams]

Look at Alex.

[Justin Schlegel]

There she is.

[Kirsten]

Oh.

[Harlan Williams]

That'S it. That's me right there. So I go in for my picture that day. If you look closely, there's a big pimple right here on my.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

And it's this black guy doing the pictures. And he's like. He goes, sit down. I sit down. He goes, you look good, man. I go, okay. And he takes a comb. He goes, hold on one second. And he brushes my hair. He does that.

[Justin Schlegel]

Oh, wow.

[Harlan Williams]

Because you look good, man. And then he took it. And that's back then. Not a digital foot. I gotta wait till that comes out. And that's what came out.

[Justin Schlegel]

That's a bit of a fro.

[Harlan Williams]

That's what went in the yearbook.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Did you get the other one I sent you, Kirsten?

[Kirsten]

I do, but real quick. Can I pass one up to you real fast?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

This one kind of looks reminiscent of you.

[Harlan Williams]

Wow. This guy. So this.

[Justin Schlegel]

That's you when you're sick. Real sick. And he's got my bumps from the cat pipe. That's like a mixture. So it looks like that's the two of us.

[Harlan Williams]

Penis. His nose is the tip of the dick. And then the balls look like a penis. Wait, who is this? And who is this from? So this is a submission. This is Blair Sullivan.

[Kirsten]

This is her boyfriend Tyler. And this was his 2020 haircut.

[Harlan Williams]

What's up, Tyler? His intention was to grow his hair out to the jawline. But clearly the hair doesn't know how to grow in that direction.

[Justin Schlegel]

How sore is from lifting that cat and that Adam's apple. Holy God.

[Harlan Williams]

That's a man's Adam apple right there.

[Justin Schlegel]

Like a nipple on his throat.

[Harlan Williams]

Let me show.

[Justin Schlegel]

If I was a baby, I'd suck his throat.

[Harlan Williams]

This is what we're doing. We want to see your worst haircut.

[Justin Schlegel]

Send us Pictures.

[Harlan Williams]

The Wayback Pod. Gmail.com. send us photos. That's me during wrestling. This kid right here has got no parents wrestling. Look at the hair. I used to tell people about this all the time. We'd shave it right here.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Straight across. See that shit?

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

And even on an angle, sometimes to go a little higher. Oh, yeah, that's thick neck mullet. Look at that. And that mullet got all the way down to the middle of my back. This is probably in October, because that's a homecoming picture. It was my friend Libby. Yeah. What's up. That is Libby. Yeah. You met her. That is Libby. That is Libby.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah. Wow.

[Harlan Williams]

And that's homecoming. Look at that cardigan. Look at that cardigan. That's what I thought dressing nice was.

[Justin Schlegel]

You look. You look like you're going to the lesbian prom. Like, definitely look like a bulldike. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[Harlan Williams]

Sure.

[Justin Schlegel]

Which one of you is the girl? Wow. Holy God. Dude.

[Harlan Williams]

Send your pick. Let's see another pick. This is another submission here. Who's this?

[Justin Schlegel]

Wow.

[Harlan Williams]

Let's see.

[Justin Schlegel]

Whoa.

[Harlan Williams]

This is Justin. I don't know how to say. I'm gonna try here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Rife stick.

[Kirsten]

Yeah, maybe.

[Harlan Williams]

This is from 1999. 8th grade. Says picture retake day. I forgot my mom was pissed because I'm wearing a wrestling shirt within a week. Within a week of this. Someone put gum in my hair and I cut it all off.

[Justin Schlegel]

His bangs aren't that far from.

[Harlan Williams]

I was gonna ask. Is this similar to what you did?

[Justin Schlegel]

Mine were straight.

[Harlan Williams]

He gave a little triangle.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, he had rusty scissors. But mine were. Mine were the ones the family used to trim their pubes. Wow.

[Kirsten]

I got one more for you.

[Justin Schlegel]

Wow. Leaf Guerra.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Justin Schlegel]

Looks like a leaf.

[Harlan Williams]

That does look like. Look up.

[Ryan Sickler]

L, E, I, F, G, A, R.

[Harlan Williams]

R, E, T, T. Maybe and go when he's younger, like heartthrob. Heartthrob. Yeah.

[Justin Schlegel]

There he is.

[Harlan Williams]

Look at him. Leaf Garrett.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

He was a big deal, bro.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, yeah, That's Leaf Gary Nelson got her. Leaf Garrett. Mom wouldn't pay for a professional perm, so she did it. This is. This is McDonald's. We have McDonald's at home right here. I could give you a perm.

[Justin Schlegel]

Melody, this is Leaf Garrett. Just before he transitioned. For sure. Yeah. Although I can't tell which one happened first.

[Harlan Williams]

Sixth grade. You got to go to school with that haircut.

[Justin Schlegel]

Remember the choker chains on the neck? Everyone wore the choker chains. Look, even Leaf Garrett has a little necklace going.

[Harlan Williams]

Send your worst haircuts to the Wayback Pot. Gmail dot com. We'll. We'll show them up here on the show and we'll. We'll have a little fun with you guys. What was fashion? What was big in fashion for you.

[Justin Schlegel]

Guys then when I was in boarding school, the big fashion, believe it or not, was. Was shoes. There was three types of shoes the kids wore. Elevator shoes, earth shoes and clogs.

[Harlan Williams]

What? Let's look up elevators.

[Justin Schlegel]

Elevator shoes were like. They're more like boots. Can I be real quick?

[Harlan Williams]

At this boarding school, was there a dress code so you could Only wear these three.

[Justin Schlegel]

We could. No, we. We had to wear ties and jackets and dress clothes.

[Harlan Williams]

What shoes?

[Justin Schlegel]

We could wear anything but running shoes. So elevator boots are more like. You'd have to look more like rock stars. I'm talking about big heels. In the 70s. They're called elevator boots. Take a picture of Elton John in the. In the movie Tommy. And he. He was wearing elevator boots. Like, I'm not kidding. You put these on and you were six inches higher. These. They weren't those, but they had the heels, like, you know. But anyways, they're. They're big heeled. And then we had these things called earth shoes, which were the exact opposite. And they're like, really flat.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, 1970s.

[Ryan Sickler]

There we go.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, there they are. Earth shoes.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, that's what that was called. I remember seeing these things. This leathery thing with a. Yeah. Almost a Birkenstock before its time.

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah, they were like velvet and, like, felt. And then the other one was clogs. All the boys, like, wore clogs.

[Harlan Williams]

The old school. Like Dutch clogs?

[Justin Schlegel]

No, like fashionable clogs. Like, we'd wear, like, that stuff. The one right there. The. Yeah, that one. The second one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You were cool if you guys would wear those all or. I had a pair that looked just like that.

[Harlan Williams]

Really?

[Justin Schlegel]

Yeah. We'd wear freaking clogs, man. This was in the 70s. It was wild.

[Harlan Williams]

Harlan Williams. This is a. This is a fun episode, brother. Thank you for doing this. I know we got to get you out of here real quick. Promote, and then we'll get you out of here so you can do your biz.

[Justin Schlegel]

Check out the Harlan Highway Podcast on YouTube every Tuesday. Check out my Instagram, Harland Williams. Check out harlanwilliams.com for my stand up touring special schedule. And watch for the movie Wingman with Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peterson, Kayla Wallace, and me. Coming soon.

[Harlan Williams]

Good man.

[Justin Schlegel]

Thanks, buddy.

[Harlan Williams]

As always, Ryan Stickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week.

[Kirsten]

J.