83: The Wayback #83 | Jim Florentine

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Wayback with Ryan Sickler – Episode 83: Jim Florentine

Introduction and Guest Promotion

In Episode 83 of The Wayback with Ryan Sickler, host Ryan Sickler welcomes back his longtime friend and comedian, Jim Florentine. The episode opens with a warm greeting between the two, setting a nostalgic and conversational tone. Ryan begins by expressing gratitude to the listeners for their support, highlighting the show’s ability to bring past memories to life.

Jim takes a moment to promote his own projects:

[00:56] Jim Florentine: "I have a podcast, Everybody is Awful, which comes out every Monday. And then also my new comedy special, You Can't Please Them All, is up on Amazon Prime and jimflorentine.com for tour dates."

Growing Up in a Large Family

The conversation shifts to Jim’s childhood growing up as one of seven children in New Jersey. Ryan delves into the dynamics of such a large family, particularly focusing on transportation and living arrangements.

Jim reminisces about their family car:

[01:21] Jim Florentine: "Yeah, a big station wagon. That's the one we used to get around in. That was the car. My dad had a Cadillac for himself when he wanted to drive around."

They discuss the challenges of sharing bedrooms in a sizable household. Jim details how the family managed with limited bedrooms:

[02:07] Jim Florentine: "There was one, two, three, four bedrooms and a den. My older sister had one room by herself. Then we had two sisters sharing another room, two brothers sharing one room, and later, my two older brothers and I shared a room to make space for a pool table."

Puberty and Teenage Experiences

A significant portion of the episode delves into the awkward and humorous aspects of puberty. Jim shares his unconventional approach to masturbation, influenced by the cramped living conditions:

[03:26] Jim Florentine: "I tell people I didn't masturbate till I was 21. I hadn't. I could. I had nowhere to do it."

Ryan compares his experience of sharing a room with his twin and transitioning after his parents split, leading to more candid discussions about teenage sexuality.

Jim opens up about his first sexual experience:

[09:19] Jim Florentine: "I ran in the bathroom, like, what was that? You know, the condom was completely full. I couldn't believe it."

The duo humorously explores the misconceptions and early sexual experiences common during adolescence.

First Cars and Driving Antics

Transitioning to their teenage years, Ryan and Jim recount their experiences with first cars and driving without formal driver's education. Jim describes his first car—a $300 vehicle with a rotting floorboard:

[16:58] Jim Florentine: "I remember... it was $300. It had a wooden bumper. The passenger side front was rotted out, so we used to drive around throwing empty bottles out the hole to avoid getting caught with them in the car."

They share wild stories of driving with friends, dealing with broken cars, and evading police officers, highlighting the rebellious spirit of their youth.

Concerts and High School Memories

Music plays a pivotal role in their memories. Jim talks about attending numerous rock concerts with his older brothers, including legendary acts like Ted Nugent and AC/DC. A standout moment includes attending a concert where future comedian Joey Diaz was also present:

[23:40] Jim Florentine: "He [Joey Diaz] shows up I'm like, holy. That's the Iron Chic and Nikolai Volkov."

Ryan adds his own concert experiences, emphasizing the camaraderie and excitement of attending shows like Faith No More, Metallica, and Guns N' Roses. They reminisce about memorable performances and the vibrant rock scene of their youth.

Wrestling Stories and Reflections

Jim shares his deep-rooted connection to professional wrestling, influenced by his father and the local Italian community’s admiration for Bruno Sammartino:

[24:29] Ryan Sickler: "Tell me some other wrestling stories. Outside the pictures and stuff. Would you go to a lot of matches?"

[24:30] Jim Florentine: "Yeah. Because every, like, once a month at Madison Square, Guard Bruno Sammartino was the champ at the time. And my dad would take me to the shows."

They discuss the transition of wrestling from a genuine sport to its more scripted entertainment form, with Jim reflecting on how discovering its fakery impacted his perception:

[25:07] Jim Florentine: "They wouldn't let Superstar Billy Graham beat Bruno Sammartino in the Garden because they thought it would be a riot that Bruno lost the belt."

Jim humorously recounts being mistaken for causing chaos at a concert due to a prank involving a smoke bomb, leading to him being ejected from the venue.

Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Ryan and Jim exchange final thoughts, highlighting the blend of humor and heartfelt nostalgia that defines The Wayback. Jim reiterates his promotions, and Ryan thanks him for sharing his stories.

[29:05] Ryan Sickler: "This was really fun, dude. Thank you for doing this episode."

[29:07] Jim Florentine: "JimFlorianne.com. Check out my podcast, Everybody is Awful, out every Monday. And my new comedy special, You Can't Please Them All, is on Amazon Prime."

[29:16] Ryan Sickler: "Thank you as always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week. Ra."

Notable Quotes:

• "[03:26] Jim Florentine: I tell people I didn't masturbate till I was 21. I hadn't. I could. I had nowhere to do it."

• "[09:19] Jim Florentine: I ran in the bathroom, like, what was that? You know, the condom was completely full. I couldn't believe it."

• "[24:30] Jim Florentine: Yeah. Because every, like, once a month at Madison Square, Guard Bruno Sammartino was the champ at the time. And my dad would take me to the shows."

This episode of The Wayback offers a humorous and heartfelt journey through Jim Florentine’s past, touching on family life, teenage antics, and the formative experiences that shaped him. It serves as a relatable and entertaining trip down memory lane for listeners.

Transcript

[Jim Florentine]

Hey, baby.

[Ryan Sickler]

We're gonna be here all day. We're gonna be here all day, baby.

[Jim Florentine]

I like that kind of party.

[Ryan Sickler]

Welcome back to the Way Back. Everybody. Ryan Sickler here. Ryan Sickler, on all your social media, starting this episode. Episode off by saying, thank you, guys. Thank you for supporting this show. This show's such a fun show. You gotta watch this show, doing a great job bringing people's past to life and all the photos and clips and everything. I'm enjoying the hell out of this. So thank you for that. Very excited to have this guest back in the Way Back. Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Florentine. Welcome back to the Way Back, buddy.

[Jim Florentine]

It's good to have you, man. You're fine. Last time.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, bro. I was gonna say, if you haven't seen Jim's first episode with the wrestling photos, people hit me up non stop about it. You gotta go watch that. But before we jump into this episode, promote whatever you'd like, please.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, I have a podcast, everybody is awful, comes out every Monday. And then also my new comedy special, you can't Please them all, is up on Amazon prime and Jim florentine.com for tour dates.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, so you're one of seven kids.

[Jim Florentine]

Yep.

[Ryan Sickler]

Originally from where again?

[Jim Florentine]

Where's New Jersey?

[Ryan Sickler]

Jersey. Okay. And what do you guys. I don't know if I asked you this last time. What are you guys getting around? And what's the family car that gets 70 or nine of you, right?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, a big station wagon. That's the one we. We'd get around in. That was the car. My dad had a Cadillac for himself when he wanted to drive around.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, he liked to be the big cheese, you know. You know, we lived in a neighborhood where everyone was showing off. So he's like, all right, let me. I gotta drive. Yeah, step it up.

[Ryan Sickler]

But so seven kids. How many? Like, what's your house growing up? Do you Remember the address?

[Jim Florentine]

23Symboline Drive.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is anyone still there? Can we look?

[Jim Florentine]

I almost bought the house.

[Ryan Sickler]

You did? Can we look it up?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That it?

[Jim Florentine]

That's it. That tree wasn't there?

[Ryan Sickler]

No.

[Jim Florentine]

No, because we play football on the front lawn. On the back lawn. That was my house.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a nice little house.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And how many kids are. Sorry. How many bedrooms is this? You got seven kids. So how many bedrooms?

[Jim Florentine]

There was one, two, three, four. And a den.

[Ryan Sickler]

Four and a den. And so how many brothers and sisters are sharing rooms in here? Because parents have one bedroom. So you got three rooms for seven kids?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, my one Older sister had one room by herself.

[Ryan Sickler]

She did?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So now there's two rooms for six kids. It's three.

[Jim Florentine]

And then there was two. My other two sisters were in another room. And then two of my brothers were in one room and then two were in the other. But then what happened was we had an upstairs room. We decided to get a pool table. So we used the whole. Took up the whole room. Sit down. All three. I forgot what my little brother was. But all three of me and my two older brothers all stayed in one room because we wanted the pool room. We had a eight track player up there be cranking music.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you literally took a whole bedroom out just to play.

[Jim Florentine]

Just to play pool. And it was a small room. So you had to get a small stick. Yeah, we had to get the small stick. Like, oh, I gotta get a small stick. Because it was. There wasn't enough room.

[Ryan Sickler]

Great. And how old are you guys sharing a room together?

[Jim Florentine]

14, 19 and 17.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a prime ages.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So how's that? Are you guys fighting?

[Jim Florentine]

We had fun along.

[Ryan Sickler]

How you doing?

[Jim Florentine]

We had bunk beds. I was a top bunk. And then no, we got along pretty much. But you know, the thing was, like I always say, I. I tell people I didn't masturbate till I was 21. I hadn't. I could. I had nowhere to do it.

[Ryan Sickler]

You wouldn't do it? Oh, I'd do it.

[Jim Florentine]

There was three in the room. I was I going to do.

[Ryan Sickler]

We had three in one. So. All right. So growing up, my whole life, I have a twin brother. So my mom makes us share a room. But for whatever reason, he got ahead of this. And when my parents split sixth grade, we go to this apartment and it's just this trash apartment. It's just a hallway with rooms. Cut it, someone says, called like a rail railroad apartment or something. I don't know. Dwelling. It's just a hallway with like rooms.

[Jim Florentine]

It's almost like a hotel.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. And he asked for his own room. Like I didn't know or anything. And so we get there and my mom's like, all right, so Derek's gonna have his own room. Like, wait, what? She's like, well, he asked and I was like, this is. I didn't even know we could. You know what I mean? I just assumed we were tied together. So I go into a room with my younger brother. I've got the top bunk, he's got the bottom bunk. And it's sixth grade and it's the summer. It's the summer between fifth and sixth grade. And I'm just up there, you know, cat pawing at my dick and stuff. And then all of a sudden starts happening. I'm like, oh my God, this is. Whatever this is. It's awesome. And I just start doing it non stop and my brother starts complaining that I'm shaking.

[Jim Florentine]

Do you shake in the bed yet? Because the whole bunk would shake. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Squeaking. And I won't let him get to bed at night. My mom puts this together and then we move out a year later and I'm back in my room with the same room with my brother. Because we're going through puberty at the same. We're twins.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Going through at the same time. We live in this house. Oh my God. Is that what it looks like now? That is it. That's.

[Jim Florentine]

That was the house.

[Ryan Sickler]

How. But it didn't look like that. That garage wasn't on there or anything. Oh, that tree wasn't there either. Jesus. That garage was basic house. This was a gravel driveway.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. That lattice wasn't over there or anything. We live in this house from seventh grade to the beginning of 10th grade. So mid to late 80s. That room on the left is the bedroom I share with my twin brother. This room here to the left of the door is my younger brother's room. This is the living room. And then behind our bedroom is my dad's room. So it's a three bedroom, one bath. And it's just my dad and the three of us living there. My mom's gone and we have no air condition, no nothing. This house, hot as. It's over 100 degrees inside, so I play. I would do this thing with my brother where we would get under our covers and make ourselves hot as and then take them off because it would feel cooler. And then try to fall asleep before you got got hot again.

[Jim Florentine]

That's a good idea.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then when I was under there, I started being like, just gonna start beating it under here while I'm wondering. I assumed he was doing the same thing. I don't know if he was or not, but I would be under my blanket, working myself up, jerking it and getting hot as. And then I would take the blanket off and I'd fall asleep as easily.

[Jim Florentine]

At what age was this? This was seventh, tenth grade.

[Ryan Sickler]

Sixth, seventh, eighth grade. Just non stop masturbating in that little room right there on the left, you know?

[Jim Florentine]

You know, we had three bathrooms, but the downstairs bathroom pretty much was Busy constantly. With seven showers going, you know, seven kids. There's one upstairs, too. I think my sister would use that one. So I couldn't spend that much time in the bathroom. And then I'm in the room. My brothers. You know, when I'm going through puberty, I'm in the top bunk. And I also had the Farah faucet poster right above me.

[Ryan Sickler]

How are you not.

[Jim Florentine]

And that thing. I would look every night. I'm like, I think I could see more of her, more of a tit. It's even more.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look that poster up. Kirsten, that was like our porn growing up.

[Jim Florentine]

And that was right above me.

[Ryan Sickler]

That one.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, that was. I mean, she was. She was the Pam Anderson of our time.

[Ryan Sickler]

100%. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Look at that. So you got the cleave and you show a nipple right there.

[Ryan Sickler]

Drive a young man crazy over here.

[Jim Florentine]

Crazy. So I had that above my bed and. But I just. I was like, what was I going to do? I didn't. My brothers probably knew what I was going to do, so I was like, I'm not even going to do it. And then I had my brother, but my other brother that was on the bunk below me, said I knew I didn't want to arc one on him.

[Ryan Sickler]

Arc? Yeah. It's all boys in our house. My dad, man, we had one bathroom, and you got two boys in high school, middle school, and high school, you know, and he would 100% go by the door, and if you were in there too long, he knew what you were doing. He would beat on the door. He go, I know what you're doing in there. And I'm like, oh, my God. Or he'd say another. What he'd say is, if you leave it alone, it'll grow. He'd say that that's a good.

[Jim Florentine]

That's a good on the door.

[Ryan Sickler]

And, you know, sk. Scary it into getting that.

[Jim Florentine]

That's a good incentive. You leave it alone. You're growing. Like, oh.

[Ryan Sickler]

I talked about this with a friend the other day, too, because they're an only child. And I was talking about, like, I wanted to get a bidet where the seat was warm.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, warmed up. And I was like, you never had that when you were a kid? She's like, what do you mean? I'm like, oh, you're an only child. I was like, you know, you never went to the b. You don't know what it's like to go to the bathroom where someone else's ass warmed the seat up for. And she's like, I think it's gross. I was like, I'll be honest with you. It's kind of a. Lux would go in like, this is warm.

[Jim Florentine]

You know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

It never was gross to me. I was like, thanks for warming this one up. It was just a part of life. Someone was in there right before you. You're smelling their or whatever.

[Jim Florentine]

Always.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes.

[Jim Florentine]

It's weird because I. So I didn't. I didn't do it. You know, I grew up strict Catholic, too, so there was always this thing. Don't.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

You know, so I didn't do it till I was 21. Was the first time I masturbated.

[Ryan Sickler]

So were you having, like, a lot of wet dreams and stuff then?

[Jim Florentine]

I don't even remember. I just remember the first time I came. I was a month away from my 18th birthday. My girlfriend at the time, you know, my first girlfriend, and I came in a rubber, and I ran in a bathroom. I didn't know what happened. That's how naive I was. I'm like, oh, my God.

[Ryan Sickler]

You masturbated into her?

[Jim Florentine]

No, no, I. I came having sex with her.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the first time he ever came. Was having sex?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, wow. You never masturbated?

[Jim Florentine]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh.

[Jim Florentine]

A month before my 18th birthday, I ran in the bathroom, like, what was that? You know, the condom was completely full. Obviously, I'm surprised. It did just shoot off.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was that?

[Jim Florentine]

I couldn't believe it. And then I was like, damn. But even still, then, I didn't do it, but, like, a 21. I remember I was drunk one night. I think I was flirting with this girl on a bar, and I was thinking about it. I was half asleep, and I did it in the morning. I felt like. I'm like, what a loser I am. I can't believe. I felt like everyone was looking at me. God was watching. Why did I do that? I'm such a loser. And then it took me, like, two days to get over. And then I went on a tear. And within. I swear to God, within 10 days, I had bursitis in my right arm. I had to go to the doctor. He's like, what? What's going on? I swear to God. I swear to God. Because I was. I was working as a landscaper at the time, cutting lawns. And I went to the doctors. My freaking shoulder was killed, like, right here. And he goes, you got bursitis in your right arm. He's like, what are you doing? What kind of. You're overusing your arm. What are you doing? I'm like, I'm a pitcher in this. This. This league. I've been throwing a lot of fastballs. I haven't thrown a while. He's like, okay, but you need to take. Naprosyn was a anti inflammatory, and my arm was in a sling. Keep your arm in a sling for five days. You.

[Ryan Sickler]

You jerked your arm into a sling.

[Jim Florentine]

And I remember I used to play softball, my friends, and we're in the playoffs, and I had to miss the playoff game. I went, like, a Friday, you're on the DL from jerk and it's Saturday morning. I show up at a sling. They go, what? The playoffs? Like, what? I was like one of the good players. Like, what happened? I go, listen, man, I. I got bursitis in my arm, so I couldn't play. I missed the playoffs.

[Ryan Sickler]

And.

[Jim Florentine]

And I remember showing up at work with the sling. I'm like, look, I can only push the mower one arm. And I told my boss what I did, which, by the way, leads to another story. So a couple days later, I get the sling off, I got Ben Gay, and I'm rubbing it on there, making it feel all right. And he had like, these vinyl seats in his van, and his van had no air conditioners, mowers in the back law. So it's like 100 degrees in the summertime. He used to wear these short shorts like the NBA players used to wear. He used to wear them. So he's talking to a customer when over there, and it's 90 degrees in the van. I take some of the Ben gain. I rub it all over his vinyl seat. So he gets in the car, he starts driving. He's like, yeah. And he's like, whoa, whoa. What is that? Whoa. What the hell's going on? Oh, my God. He stops, the van starts running around on. Someone's in the middle of a neighborhood, like he's on fire. Yeah. Because the Bengay was all over the seat. And he fired me right there in a spot. He goes. I go, what did you. I go, I put the Ben Gay in your seat. I'm laughing. He's like, that, you're fired. And he just took off. And he left me in a neighborhood.

[Ryan Sickler]

He kicked you out? Left.

[Jim Florentine]

I had to walk like three miles on the way home. Yeah. And then he said, when I. We didn't talk for six months, and when I thought we finally did because my balls were on fire for two weeks because the Bengay the hot. And when my. I swear to God, that all related to first masturbating arm in a sling.

[Ryan Sickler]

I never had my arm in a sling. I went at it too, man. I would go.

[Jim Florentine]

And I'm a lefty and I use my right arm. Like, I don't use my right arm for anything else but that.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's pretty interesting. I've tried my left.

[Jim Florentine]

I'm not great at. Yeah, it feels like. It's like a girl that's doing it for the first time doesn't know what to do.

[Ryan Sickler]

Get off. Give me. Yeah, that is too much, dude. That's great.

[Jim Florentine]

But. Yeah, so. But, you know, being strict Catholic, you always were all the guilt, you know, you thought you're going to hell, all that stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

I always. I've talked about this before, but when I first started masturbating, I didn't even know what I was doing or how to do it. And I would just like, cat paw at it.

[Jim Florentine]

I just keep hitting it right.

[Ryan Sickler]

And would happen. And I started doing that the summer between fifth and sixth grade. And it was. I'll never forget seventh grade. We're in math class. We're lined up to go in. Two guys I know are at the front of the line. I'm just at the back of the line talking to whoever and I see them up there having a conversation about whatever. And I see the one guy just say to the. Must have said a joke or something. He's like, oh, whatever. And he does that. And I see that I. He. This guy still this day doesn't know it. I see him at the back of the line. I see him do that like that. And I go, oh, my God. That's what I'm supposed to be doing.

[Jim Florentine]

All right. Tug it right. You didn't know how.

[Ryan Sickler]

I didn't even know the. Grip it and.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Rip it. I'm just beating at it. And I couldn't wait to get home, bro. I was like, man. And that changed my game in the seventh grade.

[Jim Florentine]

But just that you can come from beating it is crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's how horny you are. You know what I mean? Like. Yeah, I mean, I. It's also a. Learn a hard lesson to learn, no pun intended, is wearing sweatpants in high school. And then you're like, oh, Jesus Christ, this thing's up all day, right? I got my hand in my pocket holding it, walking class to class. And. Yeah, what about. Did you have two things. What did you guys like. When did you learn about the boys and the girls in school? Do you remember? I remember we were separated in fifth grade and they were like, boys, this is gonna happen. And it was big, big wet dream energy. They kept telling us about these wet dreams. What? I didn't. That's why I asked you this, because I didn't realize this, but I only had, like, one or two. And I was like, they talked about these things like they were going to be coming non stop. No again, no pun intended. But someone we had on the podcast years ago on the old crab feast said that they didn't masturbate either, and they would have non stop wet dreams to the point where they couldn't go to a sleepover at a friend's house because it would happen.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, real.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then I talked to Dr. Drew about it later, and what he was saying is, like, you were releasing it yourself unknowingly. You were doing that. And if you wouldn't have your body, probably would have had more of those, huh? That's why I was asking. If you don't go till 21, are you just, like, having a bunch of those?

[Jim Florentine]

I don't remember having a wet dream. I really don't. Like, I don't remember going, what the hell happened? I just remember the first time, you know, that I came at 17, like I said. So I don't even know. Even later on in life, I don't even know if I ever had one. Even, like, later on in life, maybe. I know I used to get them from dry humping girls constantly, you know, Right. In the underwear.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, you would.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You would dry hump and come in your underwear?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. And then I'd be like, hey, you know what? Let's go back inside the club. You know what I mean? Because you were in the park. Like, our friends probably miss us. They're probably asking where we are. I wasn't gonna tell her that. I did. It's embarrassing, you know? Or, you know, if I'm on the couch, I'm like, you know, maybe I should go. Let's continue this another time, you know, let's take this slow.

[Ryan Sickler]

Take it slow.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. There's no reason to rush. Meanwhile, my underwear is full. I'm like, I got to get out of here.

[Ryan Sickler]

What. What about driver's ed? Was driver's ed in your high school back in the day?

[Jim Florentine]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really? No, we had it. That's why I'm asking.

[Jim Florentine]

You're older. I didn't have driver's ed.

[Ryan Sickler]

So did you do a private one? Like, where did you go to do a driver's ed?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, my. My dad took me out. Just, like, in a parking lot, You Know, empty parking lot. I learned that way you weren't like.

[Ryan Sickler]

A class driving on the road and getting out.

[Jim Florentine]

No. And then my brothers. My older brothers would teach me, too, so that's how I got taught. No, there was no driver's ed either.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was your first car?

[Jim Florentine]

I remember. I can't remember what the model was, but it was $300. It had a wooden bumper. A wooden bumper Was no bumper. They put a piece of wood as the bumper, and then the. The passenger side front was rotted out.

[Ryan Sickler]

The floorboard.

[Jim Florentine]

The floorboard was rotted out, so it was a big hole there. So what we used to do is we used to drive around drinking, my friends in the back or whatever. And we'd throw the empties out the hole because you didn't want to be caught with an empty in the car because you get in trouble. You know, if a cop pulls you over, there's empty. So we just chuck them out the hole. As we're driving, we'd be cranking AC dc.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a great way to get rid of it.

[Jim Florentine]

And then also, whoever had a. Whoever had a piss would jump into that seat and piss right at the holes. I'm driving around, you know what?

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm starting to feel like I want a hole in my car.

[Jim Florentine]

It was amazing.

[Ryan Sickler]

My buddy had a Volkswagen Bug convertible or red one. And it. You know, the. You know, east coast man, the salt and everything eats your car up. So the. The floorboard. We're driving one time, it's him. I'm driving his car. He's in the passenger seat, drunk. We got a friend of mine behind us and then his girlfriend behind my buddy Jim. And for whatever reason, we're gonna switch seats or so I don't know what's going on, but the guy behind us stands up to grab the wheel and then just starts screaming. And his feet went right through that rotten floorboard, and they're dragging on the freeway. He's screaming, screaming. So he gets up. We pull over. His shoes are all burned up. And then after that, that hole, we would drive around. We'd have to dress up in, like, hoodies. And in the winter, it would be so cold in that car. Yeah. Water would splash up, rain, and you get wet just sitting there.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, we always put the mat over it to try to keep the. The cold air out. One time we got pulled over, and the cop pulled behind us, and we threw, like, five empties right at.

[Ryan Sickler]

Just set them down, put them right in a hole.

[Jim Florentine]

And then the cop is like, no, I'm not drinking. Yeah, you guys drinking? No. No. Okay. All right. I forget. I didn't blink or something like that. And then we pull away and there's five empty Bud cans. And the cop pulled us over again. Cuz one of those came. I don't. What are you talking about? I don't know because they were under the car. He didn't see him until we pulled away. Then he pulled us over again. I don't know where they are. No, no, not ours. I know, right? I pulled out maybe like 50ft and the lights went back on again. I'm like, I have no idea what those cans are.

[Ryan Sickler]

I can't get over the. We used to high school. We used to go see concerts non stop. So I have no parents, so no one can tell me about anything. I'm going to every concert. I'm going to every Grateful Dead show, every ACDC motley crew. I'm going to all of them. And we had a buddy that had a Toyota, he had a 4Runner. And he put. We put a cat. I still can't believe we put a keg in the back. And we're just drinking in the back all the way to the concert from Baltimore to D.C. and you know, now I think about. I'm like, we could have been rear end. Like anything could have happened. Yeah, but we would get a party ball. You remember party balls?

[Jim Florentine]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kirsten, look these up.

[Jim Florentine]

And the party balls are great.

[Ryan Sickler]

Party balls work. Are they still around? I wonder.

[Jim Florentine]

Cuz it wasn't as heavy as a cat.

[Ryan Sickler]

It wasn't even. I think it was a little lighter than half a keg too. I think it was.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, I think it was like a quarter keg.

[Ryan Sickler]

Used to get like a Coors light. Party ball.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, they are there.

[Ryan Sickler]

Just pump the.

[Jim Florentine]

Out of that. Oh yeah, pump it.

[Ryan Sickler]

And party balls were great.

[Jim Florentine]

One time I was driving to go see Iron Maiden and Judas Priest and me and my friends were getting there early to tailgate in the parking lot. And it was my same shitty card. A 300 car dents all over it. Some guys hits me on the side, he. He's pull. Pulling over. He hits my. And crushes like the whole back panel or whatever. I don't. I don't see the damage. So it was his fault. And I just keep driving because I'm going to the concert and he. And we're doing like 50 and he's like pulling up, pull over. I hit your car. I go, I don't care. He's like Pull over. It does a lot of that. I go, I don't care. And then I. When I get out of the Meadowlands, I look, I go, wow, that's pretty bad. But no way I was missing the concert. I just kept driving.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't care.

[Jim Florentine]

Who cares? No way am I missing Iron Maiden going on first, plus hanging in the parking lot. I just kept driving.

[Ryan Sickler]

I went to high school. I got to see. Okay. It started with Faith no More. It was RFK Stadium. It was Monsters of Rock, I think. Oh yeah, this was Faith no More. Then Metallica went second, then Guns N' Roses went third. And I love the Metallica spot the best because they had the both. They had a bit of daylight into sunset and then dark. Their set was still in the dark. And then Guns Are Axel took forever to come. It was like a good hour and a half. They want to go after that. And they came out. But I. I got to see so many great shows. What shows are you going to growing up like?

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, everything. Look, my. My older brothers were five years older than me. Five and four years older. So they were.

[Ryan Sickler]

So they took you?

[Jim Florentine]

Oh yeah. I saw Ted Nugent and AC DC at Madison Square Garden.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old are you?

[Jim Florentine]

Fourteen.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

With Bon Scott was still alive. Oh, wow. It was highway to Hell. And I found out Joey Diaz was at the same concert.

[Ryan Sickler]

No way. Really?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. And they wouldn't let Ted Nugent do an encore for some reason. I guess because of time. It was the curfew and everyone just ripped up the seats and threw them around. It was a big story. And Joey Diaz was at that same concert. It was so many shows that Joey was at that I. I didn't know who he was. Yeah, there's one concert I got thrown out of at Convention hall in Asaray Park. Cuz everyone used to bring fireworks and just drove fireworks at shows.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, it was a thing for a while. People would throw M80s up on the stage. Like I think Joe Perry got hit with a blockbuster, which is a quarter stick of dynamite. And they had to stop the show. So I bought a smoke bomb and Dorney encore. Judas Priest. I rolled it down the aisle and someone saw me. There's smoke everywhere. I was like, oh, what the hell's going on? And someone saw me, told the bouncer they threw me out. And my mom was picking me and my friends up and she. They just threw me out. Like a door right in the middle, like conventional. And out there my mom is waiting and I come get chucked out by these stupid. She Goes, what happened? I go, they said, I threw a smoke bomb. I didn't do it. And she'd go, let's go tell on. I go, now this comet's almost over. My friends are coming. Don't worry about it. And she's like, why your eyes so red? Because I didn't have time to go get the Visine and the Banaka because I was smoking weed. My eyes were all red and my breath too. Why your eyes already go? Because of the smoke bomb that someone set off, someone said, and it was me. So I got kicked out on the encore.

[Ryan Sickler]

What's your. What was your first concert ever?

[Jim Florentine]

When Giant Stadium opened, they had a concert. There was Frank Marino and Mahogany Rush, Arrowsmith, Ted Nugent, I think Journey. That was my first show at, like, 14. Joey Diaz at that show, too.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really?

[Jim Florentine]

And then I saw Black Sabbath at Van Halen at Madison Square Garden. Van Halen's first tour. The first album was out.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, okay.

[Jim Florentine]

So it was only out for a few months, so that was my second.

[Ryan Sickler]

And they're opening for Sabbath.

[Jim Florentine]

They were open for Sabbath. You had a whole tour? Yeah. So I saw some amazing shows as a kid because my older brothers, my parents let them take me to the shows, so they would take me all the time. Was great.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's cool. Your parents let you do that? That. Let them do that. Trust them enough and stuff. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

And then they would take me to wrestling matches, too, you know, and stuff like that. They would take a date, and my brothers told me, now I didn't even notice. Go. Yeah, we took you and your friends, and once you guys got in, we just went to the bar and go and drank for, like, two, three hours and then waited for you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, is that right?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. I didn't even know that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Tell me some other wrestling stories. Outside the pictures and stuff. Would you go to a lot of matches?

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You would go to a lot?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Because every, like, once a month at Madison Square, guard Bruno Sammartino was the champ at the time. And my dad would take. My dad was in the wrestling, too. And I realized later, I found out later through interviews, there was so many Italians living in New York that Bruno had to have the bell because he would sell out the Garden. All the Italians love Bruno Sammartino, and they wouldn't give anybody else the belt because he could sell out the Garden all the time. And then Bruno went to Vince McMahon Senior and said, listen, I want to retire. My body's beat up, so I can't do this anymore.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, so that's why he was a champ. Because there was. No matter who they gave it to, they weren't going to sell out the gun.

[Jim Florentine]

They weren't going to sell the Garden. So, you know, so he was the headline everywhere. And they would announce it like the. Before the last match, okay. Next month, contracts are just signed. So. And then they gave it to superstar Billy Graham. He went up beat now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, he was next.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. And he wanted a Baltimore, did he?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, Civic Center.

[Jim Florentine]

He wanted Baltimore. They wouldn't. I found out later, they wouldn't let superstar Billy Graham beat Bruno Sammartino in the Garden because they thought it would be a riot that Bruno lost the belts that they did in Baltimore, like a week before the Madison Square Garden match. And no one knew because it wasn't televised, Right? And they even said, superstar, getting out of there. Everyone in Baltimore was throwing at him.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

He ran out of there, got in the car, and took off to New York that night. It was that crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

So then who's after him? Backland?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, Backlin. And then the McMahon senior said, you're gonna. Superstar, you're gonna beat Bruno in Baltimore. You have the bell for exactly one year, and you're gonna lose it to. Who do you lose it to? To Bob Backlin, was it?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, that's what I thought it was.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Bob Backlin, who was the worst champion. So boring.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then Backlin, I heard, didn't want to lose it to anyone but the Sheikh. When they were telling us, I've read this, that he, the Sheik, was like, what, the bodyguard of one of the, like, Princes of Iran or some like that?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, he was. Yeah, he was on the wrestling team for the Olympics.

[Ryan Sickler]

He was like. And that's what Bob Backlin was like, look, that guy's legit, right? I'll lose it to him. I'm not gonna lose it to some clown.

[Jim Florentine]

Right?

[Ryan Sickler]

And then. Then they. Then they parlayed that into the whole usa, Right?

[Jim Florentine]

And then. Yeah, and then the. Yeah, and then he lost to the Hulk Hogan.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. The other night.

[Jim Florentine]

It was great.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know what's funny? I thought it was so much longer. It's like seven, eight minutes or something like that.

[Jim Florentine]

That's old, though. It was.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

You know, I. My kid was into it for a little while, and I didn't want to tell him it was fake, but one of his friends did, so I got off. And he was only in it for a few years, so. But one of his friends told him it was fake. He's like, dad, the wrestling's Fake. I go, yeah. He's like, I didn't even know that. Okay. Yeah, you didn't. Don't take it personally. Like, I did and cried and cried, and then I didn't want to watch wrestling for like, six months. I'm not watching anymore. I can't believe they tricked me. That's what a stunted childhood I had. It's so masturbate. Cried when wrestling wasn't real. What that was going on in that house, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

My cousin used to tell us too. He's like, we saw Ivan Koloff.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, I know that Nikolai Volkov was like, I'm sorry, Nikolai Volkov.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who am I saying?

[Jim Florentine]

You said, yeah, Nikolai Volkov.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's Nikolai Volkov. I'm so sorry. Who did I say? Ivan what?

[Jim Florentine]

Ivan Koloff. They were tag team partners.

[Ryan Sickler]

They were partners. It's Nikolai who I'm thinking of. Yeah, there it pops up right there. And what did he do in Baltimore? He was like.

[Jim Florentine]

He was like a building inspector or something, like legit.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what my cousin said. I'm like, you didn't see Nikolai Vol. He was like, I'm telling you, he was riding around. We're like, bullshit. And he really was. He was a, like, building inspector in Baltimore. But back then you could be a wrestler and still do that.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, Georgia Animal Steel was a history teacher in Minnesot.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a great one, too.

[Jim Florentine]

But I remember because I did a show in Baltimore with Iron Chic and. And a bunch of other comics because he was part of, like, the Howard Stern show. So me and a couple comics from the Howard Stern show with tour, and he was on it, and Nikolai, he goes, nikolai has come. Nikolai Volkov's come. And I go, what? He's coming to the show tonight? And he's like, yeah, he works. And he Sheik was telling me he's like a building inspector or something like that. So he shows up. I'm like, holy. That's the Iron Chic and Nikolai Volkov.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's crazy.

[Jim Florentine]

Imagine him showing up, up, like, to inspect your house or something like that.

[Ryan Sickler]

He would sing to Russian. That's why he would do all that. They had to be spit on and everything else. That was the height of all of hate. Hate everybody, but.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah, and especially Iran. All the issues we had with Iran at that time.

[Ryan Sickler]

This was really fun. Dude, thank you for doing this episode.

[Jim Florentine]

Of course, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

Anytime, brother. Promote right there, please.

[Jim Florentine]

Jim florentine.com Check out my podcast. Everybody is Awful out every Monday. And my new comedy special, you can't Please Them all on Amazon Prime.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, brother. Thank you as always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week. Ra.