The Wayback #43 | Adam Ray

Summary

The Wayback #43 | Adam Ray Released: October 24, 2024

Host: Ryan Sickler
Guest: Adam Ray
Description: Ryan Sickler and his guests take a seat in “The Wayback” for a nostalgic, wild ride filled with laughter, fond memories, and a touch of wistful reflection. Buckle up.

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1. Introduction

In this episode of The Wayback with Ryan Sickler, host Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Adam Ray to share a deep dive into his childhood experiences, friendships, family dynamics, and the mischievous antics that shaped his journey towards comedy. The conversation is rich with humor, heartfelt moments, and candid reflections that provide listeners with an intimate look into Adam's past.

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2. Childhood Friendship and Memories

Adam Ray reminisces about his close friendship with Colin Eisler, highlighting the differences between their family backgrounds. While Adam grew up in a single-parent household with limited toys, Colin enjoyed the perks of a two-parent family with more toys and resources.

Adam Ray [04:02]: "Colin was living in a two-parent household. More toys, more money, more love, more fun."

He fondly recalls the abundance of toys at Colin's house, particularly emphasizing Colin's impressive Ghostbusters proton pack toy.

Adam Ray [04:40]: "Colin had the Ghostbusters proton pack. That's a big deal."

These memories highlight the contrasting environments that influenced Adam's childhood play and imagination.

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3. Mischief and Stealing Toys

A significant portion of their friendship involved Adam's playful attempts to take some of Colin's coveted toys. Adam shares a humorous yet slightly remorseful account of his efforts to "borrow" toys from Colin without permission.

Adam Ray [08:03]: "I was going to take a few of your toys. I didn't steal them. No, no. This is a conversation I had with myself with the mirror in the bathroom."

Adam narrates a vivid story about sneaking toys into his jacket and attempting to hide them as he left Colin's house. His dramatic acting to fake a stomachache adds a comedic flair to the tale.

Adam Ray [14:00]: "I thought, 'This is probably the best to date performance I've ever put on.'"

The incident culminates in a "walk of shame" as Adam is caught by Colin's mom, leading to an awkward but memorable confrontation.

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4. Family Dynamics and Father's Absence

Adam delves into his family life, discussing the impact of his parents' separation on his upbringing. Growing up with a single mother, he navigates the challenges of asserting himself and dealing with body image issues.

Adam Ray [26:01]: "We're going to Shaky's Sunday afternoon. Alert the press in three days time."

He shares poignant moments, such as moving to a new neighborhood with his mother and sister, and the emotional strain that came with it. These experiences contributed to his resilience and sense of humor.

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5. Early Relationships and Pranks

Adam's interactions with peers and early romantic interests are a recurring theme. He recounts awkward crushes, pranks with friends, and the sometimes tumultuous relationships with girls during his middle school years.

Adam Ray [23:07]: "I went to a house near Diana Key for one of hot girls' houses, and a dog got out and chased me. I ran home with two boxes of Kit Kats and Reese's peanut butter cups."

These stories illustrate Adam's attempts to fit in, seek acceptance, and navigate the complexities of adolescence with humor and mischief.

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6. School Experiences and Challenges

Adam reflects on his school life, highlighting memorable incidents and the dynamics with classmates. He shares a particularly intense story about a familial conflict ignited by his own actions at a family dinner.

Adam Ray [25:44]: "We had two really cute girls when we were in seventh grade that were in eighth grade, living in a neighborhood. They had to crush my buddy's brother. So I'd always go to his house."

This narrative underscores the unintended consequences of his actions and the resulting tensions within his community.

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7. Impact on Comedy Career

Connecting his past experiences to his career in comedy, Adam discusses how these formative moments influenced his comedic style and material. The blend of humor and vulnerability in his stories showcases how he transformed personal challenges into relatable and entertaining content.

Adam Ray [17:27]: "I'll never be able to unhear the sound of slow mo figurines just falling out of that stutter jacket."

His ability to find humor in awkward and challenging situations is highlighted as a cornerstone of his approach to comedy.

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8. Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Adam Ray continues to share anecdotes while promoting his comedy specials and tour dates. Ryan Sickler and Adam Ray exchange heartfelt sentiments, emphasizing the deep connection forged through sharing these personal stories.

Adam Ray [38:31]: "You've struck a chord."

The episode concludes on a warm note, celebrating the shared memories and the enduring impact of childhood experiences on one's personal and professional life.

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Notable Quotes:

• Adam Ray [04:40]: "Colin had the Ghostbusters proton pack. That's a big deal."
• Adam Ray [14:00]: "I thought, 'This is probably the best to date performance I've ever put on.'"
• Adam Ray [17:27]: "I'll never be able to unhear the sound of slow mo figurines just falling out of that stutter jacket."
• Adam Ray [25:44]: "We had two really cute girls when we were in seventh grade that were in eighth grade... They had to crush my buddy's brother. So I'd always go to his house."
• Adam Ray [38:31]: "You've struck a chord."

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Reflection:

The Wayback #43 with Adam Ray is a captivating episode that seamlessly blends humor with heartfelt nostalgia. Adam's candid storytelling offers listeners a window into his formative years, illustrating how early life experiences and relationships can shape one's path. Ryan Sickler's empathetic hosting complements Adam's narratives, making for an engaging and relatable podcast episode that resonates with anyone reflecting on their own past.

Transcript

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[Ryan Sickler]

Detroit, Michigan. I'll be there Friday, November 8th at the Magic Bag, Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'll be there Saturday, November 9th at the Parkway Theater, Madison, Wisconsin. I'll be there Friday and Saturday, November 15th and 16th at Comedy on State. And Portland, Oregon. I'll be at the Aladdin Theater 6 Saturday, November 23rd. Get your tickets to those shows and all shows on my [e-mail] hey baby, we gonna be here all day. We gonna be here all day, baby. I like that kind of body. Welcome back to the Way Back, everybody. I'm Ryan Sickler. You know Ryan Sickler on all your social media and Ryan sickler.com Look, thank you for your support of this show. I'm starting this episode like I start them all or whatever. You support that? I do. But this show is so much fun. It is. So it's therapeutic to get nostalgic, go back down, you know, memory lane with my guest and see all their old childhood photos and stuff like that. See where they came from, how they lived and all that stuff. So if you're just listening, I'm telling you, go watch these episodes. They're really fun to do. And come see me on tour if I'm in your town when you're around. All tickets are [e-mail] all right, guys. Very excited to have this guest here in the Way Back with me. Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Ray. Welcome to the Way Back.

[Adam Ray]

Whatever. I. Thanks for having me, listener. Okay, great.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look, I don't want to forget, get it going. I don't want to hustle.

[Adam Ray]

All right, so adamraycomy.com for all my tour dates. I'm on tour right now through November. Dr. Phil Live shows are on my YouTube channel. Adam Ray comedy My Special like and subscribe. It's out right now on my YouTube. YouTube.com, adam Ray Comedy like and subscribe my special third special film to comedy on state in Madison, Wisconsin. The podcast is about last night. You can see me in the movie jackpot starring John Cena on Amazon. And again, come on, see me on the road. Adamracomi.com we had a show in New York. Uh, we got Chicago, Boston, uh, Florida, Philly, Columbus for the first time. Uh, all on Adami.com and I'll see you on the road.

[Ryan Sickler]

Ryan, back to you. I always try to start these episodes with if you've ever sat in this back seat or if you ever knew anyone. And I think you said before we started princesses out, your mom had one.

[Adam Ray]

That was a heavy plug. I'm out of here. We get it, dude, you travel. My mom drove a, I want to say an 88 maroon station wagon.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you know, you remember what kind?

[Adam Ray]

Oof. If you can, I want to say Oldsmobile or Mer. Is there one that starts with an M? Yeah, right there. Boom. That's. That was our car. That was our car. Get it in the back. Open it up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Boom, bro. Wow.

[Adam Ray]

I miss that car. A lot of memories are flooding back. Wow. I'll give you one memory right off the bat. Sitting in the back with my buddy Colin Eisler. Shout out. My mom's driving us over to Collins to hang out. We had spent the night at my place and now we're double dipping and going back to his pad for a day.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's tight.

[Adam Ray]

That's a 48 hour factory of fun. And we're going back to Colin's house. And why this story matters is Colin was living in a two parent household. More toys, more money, more love, more love, more fun. And Colin.

[Libsyn Ads]

More love.

[Adam Ray]

So funny.

[Ryan Sickler]

Twice the love.

[Adam Ray]

Twice the love, dude. And twice the ability to go to Toys R Us more than once a year. And so Colin had some sweet ass toys, man. And he had toys that just I hadn't seen.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like what do you remember? Oh, man, stand out.

[Adam Ray]

I had a few Ninja Turtle figurines, but Colin had the Ghostbusters proton pack. That's a big deal.

[Ryan Sickler]

The backpack.

[Adam Ray]

The backpack and the pack that you roll out. Boom.

[Ryan Sickler]

That thing. Yep, he had this.

[Adam Ray]

Yep, he had this. The backpack. He had the thing that you open up the. Yeah, this was. I mean Ghostbusters was huge.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, man.

[Adam Ray]

And the cartoon was out. I mean he had, he had ninja Turtle outfits. We could dress up as turtles. He had every video game System. He had figurines from everything he had with he man stuff. He had, like the he man layer. He had Skeletor's lair. He had. For Ninja Turtle toys. He had the. The sewer, but he had Krangs. Nobody has Krang's lair. He had Crang's lair. And so I'm over at. It's a. There. I mean, yeah, there it is.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, that thing.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Well, that was a. Ninja Turtles. That was where they lived. But there was the. Basically the crane, the thing that he's in there. Right there. Yeah, there we go. He had that thing. The crane came in. And there was another separate thing you could buy. There was also the Ninja Turtle van. Anyway, Colin had everything. And we're over there playing and. And I'm getting ready to go back home. Colin's mom is going to drop me off, and I'm a big kid. Okay, this is peak Fat Adam. I'm like, you know, this is the time when my basketball coach called me Krispy Kreme Abdul Jabbar.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he really?

[Adam Ray]

Okay, he didn' I guess I'm forgetting a solid chunk.

[Ryan Sickler]

I can't even imagine.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

If you did that today, bro, you would be banned from the league.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, dude. I remember we played this all black team from Everett. He was like, you're the most delicious defender of all time. And I was running up and down. I had just. I just hit a jump hook to put us up six. And I'm like, dude, ice cream is in everyone's future. And I hear a dad of the opposing team because I had dropped. No joke. I'd probably dropped 26, 8, and 5. And this team was heavily favored. It was myself, my boy Brian Hildebrand and Evan Hatch that were kind of the C coach Pippen and Jordan of our team. And we were going to win the championship of this tournament. And I hear one of the dads of the opposing team as I'm jiggling up down the court. Man, that fat motherfucker's killing us. Yep. And I. I put two and two together and go. I think he's talking about me as I'm running down court and titties are.

[Ryan Sickler]

Bopping me in the face.

[Adam Ray]

I'm like, I think that's me. I did. I think. I think I've filled the statue with a double double. I'm definitely crushing a double double post game. By the way, if you want to find young fat Adam during that time. YouTube. Adam Ray, quick fat basketball. There it is. You got two of them. I got one. In volume two.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at him watch. Look at this right there.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, look at this. What the.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at that.

[Adam Ray]

And one. Oh, look at the pump fake. And Ray to the hoop. He's getting donuts for sure tonight. Jiggle, jiggle, bounce.

[Ryan Sickler]

What did he say?

[Adam Ray]

This fat's killing us. This was so. This was two games before that championship.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at old buckets over here. Look at. Just driving, dude.

[Adam Ray]

Just driving, dude. Just. I mean, look at this one. Look at this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Buckets. Oh, here he goes. I so.

[Adam Ray]

Look at this one. Look at this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Championship game to yell to a whole gym of kids. Dude.

[Adam Ray]

Look at that kid, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Plugs his Instagram at the end of his fat highlights.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hilarious.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, man. So Colin Eisler. Colin Eisler. And I played basketball and baseball and I'm going back home. My mom's picking me up and I'm. Why am I. Why is my size matter for the story? Well, because I wore bigger clothes, bigger starter jackets, bigger. Bigger sweatshirts, bigger hoodies. I've got more room, right. Sometimes they were a little bigger and they weren't. You know, when you were a big kid, I didn't wear a, A, A Something that was fitted still. So it was an xl. Was. I still had a little bit of room to, to breathe. And I, for whatever reason, I'm going back home and I'm like, I had a blast playing with you, Colin, but I had more fun playing with your toys and I don't want it to end. So I'm going to take a few. I'm going to take a few of your toys. I didn't sold them. No, no. This is a conversation I had with myself with the mirror in the b. You're stealing his toys? I've never. Now look. Did I steal stuff from Albertsons when I worked there through high school? Yeah, dude. Film, deodorant, bread cakes, you name it, I took it. And then they put in cameras and they caught me two weeks before I moved to LA and they fired me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hold on, did they really?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

What did you get?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, man. Film. I was in the customer service booth and my buddy came in from a Europe trip and I.

[Ryan Sickler]

We don't even have anymore.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, dude. You know when they would come develop the film?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And I go, I let them do panoramic CD ROM everything. And he put down a coupon And I go, 239. I go, look at you with the savings. This was like $500 worth of film. And they got me on, on like nine different cameras. @ that point, they had just installed them two weeks before I moved to la and I was a star, valued employee. My boss, Dan Boyle, who used to call boobs fun bags. He was like 80 and he would like, he was like, look at the fun bags on that gal. And I was like, I don't know if you could say that, but I'm going to laugh, cuz you're my boss. And then I go into his office and he just pulls up a video of me stealing, handing the film to my buddy and like charging up and like laughing. I mean, I wasn't even discreet about it. And he just shows me the video and he goes, you recognize that guy? And I go, I think that's. Was that John? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're just trying to. And then he just goes, he goes, God damn it, man. He goes, you're out of here in two weeks. I go, you gotta fire me, huh? He goes, yeah. I was like, what about Robin Produce, who's always being really perverted with the producer? Old women would come in and this guy named Rob who worked in the produce. I would literally walk. Come in from collecting carts. This was 98 to 2001, when I worked at Lake Forest Park Albertsons. And I'd walk in and he'd be like holding melons and there'd be a couple old ladies and he'd be going like this.

[Ryan Sickler]

To him?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, to him. And they'd be laughing it up. And there was a woman named Mary in the bakery who was old and hunched over. And she'd always go, she. We got warm French bread if you want it. And I was like, I love warm French bread. She's like, I know you do. Never knew what that meant. And then there was a girl in the. In the service deli. I won't say her name, but she was the first person I hooked up with at a place of work. Got a hand job from her. And then she started. Nope. In her car. And then she used to always.

[Ryan Sickler]

She's in there slicing our meat.

[Adam Ray]

She gave me a hand job with the meat gloves. She had a crush on me. I'm 17, she's 24. And she was always touching cold meat all day.

[Ryan Sickler]

Adam, let me warm that meat up for you.

[Adam Ray]

It was gross. And she.

[Ryan Sickler]

She liked her.

[Adam Ray]

She would always everything. Did she close? She never showered. She. But she. But I was hooking up and she would always hook me up with potato salad and max out every day whenever I wanted it. I'd walk by, I'd say something charismatic. We'd flirt. She'd. She'd stiff arm customers to slide over a tiny cup of potato salad. And. And we hooked up. And then she like, wanted to date. And I was like, I'm 17. And also. Wait, what?

[Ryan Sickler]

You're 37? Come on.

[Adam Ray]

And she did not take. She was just like. And then she called me and I didn't know what to do. So I was like, I don't think we. I was like, oh, you know, and then I never forget it. Like, I didn't call her back for like maybe a couple weeks. And I steer and I walk up and I go, I go, hey, let me get a. Mind if I get a cup of that world famous macaroni salad? And she just goes, it's going to be a minute.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's going to be 269.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. The day is a free max. SA behind us over, bro. So anyway, so I'm outside Colin Eisler's house with. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

What do you have in your jacket?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, man, great question. R is why you're the host. Four figurines.

[Ryan Sickler]

Holy. Like Ninja Turtles.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, Ninja Turtles. GI Joes, couple. He man in there. Four figurines.

[Ryan Sickler]

Man.

[Adam Ray]

A proton pack. He had three proton packs. How do you.

[Ryan Sickler]

You got it under the jacket.

[Adam Ray]

Hey, man. Krispy Kreme. Abdul Jabbar had a big Seattle Mariners 94 starter jacket that had a lot of room. It was either that one or I had a Charlotte Hornets one too. There you go. Yeah, right there. Boom.

[Ryan Sickler]

So this is what you got on.

[Adam Ray]

And what I'm doing is I have all the toys inside. There might have been a Ninja Turtle doll too. He had a Steve Urkel doll. Shout out to my boy Jaleel. But I didn't take that because I was like, he deserves a full string.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did I do full string?

[Adam Ray]

Did I do that? Got any cheese, man? The worlds I would put together. I used to have Urkel visit the Ninja Turtles layer. He man would show up. They do bumps of coke off of my sister's My Little Pony ponies. So. So here's me with a proton pack, four figurines and. And maybe I think a Ninja Turtles doll. They had like life size ones. Again, two parent household, extra income. His dad was a. Was a colonoscopy doctor. And what was my friend's name again?

[Ryan Sickler]

Was Colin. Oh, it's Colin.

[Adam Ray]

Put that together real quick.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nah. Did you do that?

[Adam Ray]

That was the rumor.

[Ryan Sickler]

Was it spelled like that was a.

[Adam Ray]

Rumor around Lake Forest park elementary. Was that his colonoscopy? Dad named him colon. Basically so I'm outside. I got all the toys under the jacket, and I kind of fold the jacket over and in my head, oh.

[Ryan Sickler]

You'Re carrying the jacket.

[Adam Ray]

So I go to the bathroom. I go, I got to go to the bathroom. I'm not feeling well. And he goes upstairs to get some snacks, and I don't know, they're just waiting for me. Hugs. Two hugs to get two hugs. Oh, my God.

[Ryan Sickler]

Two different people. Two different people.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, my God. He got a, he got a hug upstairs and downstairs.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so you're in a bathroom.

[Adam Ray]

I'm in the bathroom just pulling off, hopefully the greatest toy heist of, of Shoreline Washington's greater area. And I put them all under, under my jacket. And I decide I'm going to fold the jacket over so that I'm going to kind of lean forward and I'm going to commit to the idea that I've got a stomachache that is taking me down. So I'm going to be hunched over. I literally thought, I mean, this is, honestly put this on my acting reel. This is probably the best to date performance I've ever put on. Up to a point. I'm leaned over. I open the door. I have to kind of like open it like that and kind of kick the door open because I can't. If I let an arm up, guess what? All the toys are going to come rushing out of the jacket. So I'm holding it over like this and I walk out to the car. They were outside. They're going to meet you at the car. Walk outside. Goodbye, Mr. Eisler. Goodbye. Hope you didn't steal any toys.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's a good family. They're saying they're meeting you outside. See you all.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, see me off. Thanks for coming to play at our house. You really bring a lot when you come over here. You eat all the food in the fridge.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did I say that stuff?

[Adam Ray]

No, no. He wasn't, he wasn't fat. You had a lot of people. I had some fat shaming dads, but he was great band name, but he was, he was the one that was a little more like, you know what? I, I, I like dipping Pop tarts and Cool Whip too. You know, he would, like, try to, like, be like, it's okay. You know, it's fun to share bras with your mom. And so and so and so. And so I'm outside and mom and Colin are at the van and I walk up with a jacket and I literally walk up and I'll never forget, like, it was a long walk from you went like downstairs and they were outside the garage. The van was out front. So I walk down the stairs and walk vans in the driveway and walk towards them and they're both standing at the car like. Like if you're. If you're filming this in a movie, you're behind me and then you're like, you're slowly zooming in on them, standing in front of the van, waiting, arms crossed for the mom because we're just late. And then Colin's waiting like, ah, man, well, maybe we can play next weekend too. Hell yeah, man. And I'm like walking slow. And I'm leaning over, I'm like, oh. And then I go, okay, now I need to start. I'm leaning over, so I need to start committing to why, what's going on? So I just start going. And she's like, are you okay? I go, ah. I think it was this. I think it was your cooking. I think your cooking sucks. I don't know what I said. I said something about something I had that made me. You know, we had sandwiches or something. So I was like, I don't think somebody's something. Well, the sandwich isn't sitting well. Oh, I have a stomach ache. I feel so bad. I think I'm gonna throw up. Oh, my God. You want to go back inside? No, that's the worst idea. No, let's go. Let's just get in the car. Take me home, you know? And I'm like hunched over and she goes, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, I think I got her. And I go, open the door. Open the door. Open the door, please, please open the door. Colin opens the door and I start to get in and I'm like leaned over and I'm like, I did it. I can't believe I did it. Now I'm just gonna have to sit there. Hopefully the mom doesn't hit any speed bumps so that the toys rub up against each other, make that plastic noise. And hopefully the proton pack doesn't like there's a thing on it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Start catching ghosts.

[Adam Ray]

Well, there's a button you can press that open. So I was like, I don't need any sort of a no toy noise.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where they trap it. You talk about when they're trapping together.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, yeah. Like that can go off. So they're all under here. And I had somehow positioned them to where it was fit perfectly. It was the perfect puzzle. And I'm walking into the van, about to step up a little. Step up van and his mom just goes.

[Ryan Sickler]

His mom?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, his mom stops me, and I'm like this. And I just go, whoop. And she goes, give me your arm for a second. And I go, what? And she goes, why are you holding your stomach so tight? And I go. I said, I have a stomach ache. And she goes, put your arms up for a minute. And I go, no. I go, I really don't want to. I don't feel well. If I put my arms up, you know, I'm gonna throw up. I. I try to, like, you know, spiral real. This is really embarrassing. And at the time. And now I. Who cares? You know? And I'd steal them again. And she. I'll go back with my kids and do it. And so she. She takes both my arms and just holds my arm and. You cannot. You. I'll never.

[Ryan Sickler]

Diary. I'm getting diarrhea right now.

[Adam Ray]

I'll never be able to unhear the sound of slow mo figurines just falling out of that stutter jacket. Alonzo Morning. And mugsy bugs are like, you up and just boom, boom, boom. And then proton back boosh. And I look down and look up.

[Ryan Sickler]

No wonder my stomach hurts. So.

[Adam Ray]

You're so funny. Because. And this is why I think I knew I was going to be a comedian. I look down at the toys and then look at them and go. And just continue to commit to the stomachache. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I knew it was something. Exactly. And then. And then she goes, come on, let's go. And she picks up the toys and she goes, I don't believe it.

[Ryan Sickler]

It.

[Adam Ray]

Which is a.

[Ryan Sickler]

And your mom's standing there, too.

[Adam Ray]

No, no. This is in their driveway.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, you're take. They're taking you back home.

[Adam Ray]

So now I got the. The walk of shame and the drive of shame. Oh, yeah. So. And Colin. And Colin just looked at me and he goes, oh, man. Why. Why are you. Why. Why were you taking my toys? And I was like, you got cool toys, man. I didn't have anything to say other than two parents. You got two parents, Man. Do you really need all these? You know, you could buy these tonight if you wanted to. Target's down the street.

[Ryan Sickler]

What did the mom.

[Adam Ray]

Haven't even been to Target, huh?

[Ryan Sickler]

What did the mom do? Were you allowed to hang out again?

[Adam Ray]

It was a while. It was a while. And to be honest, I don't know if I actually did go.

[Ryan Sickler]

We're missing some cutlery, too. Okay. So I don't really know what's going on.

[Adam Ray]

I had a ginzu Knife I ordered just last week.

[Ryan Sickler]

Got two cereal bowls missing. What the.

[Adam Ray]

This kid taking my wedding ring was right here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, that is the worst. They get to ride in the bar.

[Adam Ray]

And then drove back. Yeah, but did she tell your mom.

[Ryan Sickler]

Or did you have to tell your mom?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, she told. I went right inside and then she just. Yeah, I knew because usually the drop off is you just get out of the car and run up to your. But she parked and got out of the car, so I saw that. Go say hi to your mom real quick. You don't have to. She's probably busy now. I'm going inside. In fact, I'm going around the back just to make sure I get in. Oh, and. But the back seat was. And Colin, by the way, I haven't talked to him in a hot minute, but Psalm in Seattle. He's a real talented musician, and we reminisced about that maybe three, four years ago. But why I brought that story up is we would have the best times in the back because he was a big toy. Some of my friends were video games. Some were just real active kids. We were active too. We play, you know, backyard baseball and. And go down to the elementary school and play basketball a lot. But. But he was a good toy friend. We're like. We. We'd take all these toys, but we, like, both had big imaginations, and so that was really fun to play with. We do Ghostbusters. We do. Like, I was always big on that too, you know, I mean, when I was in preschool, I was one of the few kids that. They had big treasure chest of, like, jackets and hats and fake mustaches in preschool. And I was like one of two kids that would like, put on all these things and pretend to do and be. Do voices and. Because I just love to pretend. Right? But that back of the. Of my mom's Oldsmobile was, Was. Was. Was awesome. Colin didn't sit back there for. For quite some time after that. But you know what? We. We just went to the bullpen and brought in a friend with less toys but. But a fuller glass for life. That. That story is probably my. My lowest, I'd say, as a kid stealing toys from your friend, but when I was eighth grade, my mom and I moved into a separate neighborhood. I guess growing up in Seattle, the weather is conducive to. Here we go. Yeah, there's a great picture. This is mom and sister and me looking like a model for tdk. I mean, could those shorts go any higher?

[Ryan Sickler]

Man, I forgot about tdk. Yeah, we had so many TDK cassette tapes. Back in the day, we were a.

[Adam Ray]

Fanny pack family, and my mom had just, you know, split from my dad, and she's like, we're going to Disneyland. And. And there we go. My sister looks like. I don't know. I mean, I don't know what's happening there. She's just got her glamour shots. She's. She's trying to figure it out. I'm holding on to a bag of clear snacks or something. We had those autograph books. We get all the characters, autographs. My mom's a rock star. Shout out to pudding. She was just like, we're going to Disneyland. You know, dad's out, Goofy's in. And so we. We go down there. We're having a good time. And this is at a time where I'm, you know, just starting to kind of, you know, maybe have crushes on girls and stuff, too. This is like 11, 12 maybe.

[Ryan Sickler]

And your name written down there.

[Adam Ray]

Holy. Where the did that picture come from? Is that where. What am I doing? Oh, my God. I don't. But look at that shirt. Oh, I missed that.

[Ryan Sickler]

What are you eating there? What is in your hand? Can we see, by the way?

[Adam Ray]

I can't even see. Yeah, how do we just know? Assuming that something's getting chomped on? What am I doing? Am I holding the sword from Sword in the Stone? I'm leaning. I think I'm leaning in the back of this cafe, like, in the corner, and I'm trying to act cool. My mom was probably look cool, and I, like, lean back and put my chin down. Anyway, you can see my autograph book right there.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, that's what it is. Your autograph book. I thought you had candy in your hand.

[Adam Ray]

I mean, I'm sure I do.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that your name written down there? Is that your middle school short?

[Adam Ray]

No, those are Jordan shorts, too.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, they are.

[Adam Ray]

And I got a Fantasmic T shirt. All right. They just got rid of that dragon because it caught on fire. Yeah, that's. Nobody cares about that fact. But that's true. The Fantasmic dragon had been there for, like, 50 years and just got on fire. The world or land Disneyland. Yeah, we couldn't afford Ford World, but. But so I'm in 8th grade and started to kind of have crushing on kids. And again, we grew up in this area where summertime in Seattle. I don't know how it was in Maryland, but, like, once the weather got nice, everyone's outside all the time, and it's light out till about 9, 10pm and I lived in this area called Turtle Rock because there was a turtle painted rock at the top of the neighborhood. Cul de sac. You go down the hill, there's houses on your right and your left and then there's cul de sacs, like three or four in each, one with on each side.

[Ryan Sickler]

Remember the address of the house?

[Adam Ray]

Oh man. It was the first house we moved into once my folks split. I lived across from my best friend Avery Garmire, who we would play with each other every day. He'd come over and play Madden after school and he would throw my controller and then get up and leave. What do we play? We played checkers one day and he was beating me and I just went, boop, boop, boop, king me. And I flipped the board and he tackled me down the stairs and we fought and we scratched each other. I still have a scratch. Look at that. That's from Avery Garmire's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at that, look at that.

[Adam Ray]

Look at. That's a scar on my hand from his nail. I used to call him Tony the T. Checker fight from a checker fight. And his dad looked like the dad from Howard the Duck. And I remember he opened the door and I ran out and slammed it into him. Avery was, their family was wild. Like I once, I once. His brother, his dad had not seen his brother in 20 years. And his brother came over for Thanksgiving and you were there, I'm sitting there. My mom and I was, were over there. My sister was in boarding school. And we're sitting there and I just go, it's quiet. And I was like, I always remember hearing like asking people who they voted for was a way to strike up conversation. And it was a really low moment in the dinner. So I just go, who's everybody voting for? And this is like 94, 95. And my, my buddy's dad Democrat, his brother Republican. And they proceeded to get into the craziest 90 minute fight where food was thrown, punches were thrown, brother leaves.

[Ryan Sickler]

All because of you, all because of me. And seen him in 20 years.

[Adam Ray]

20 years. And my buddy's brother goes, you had to say it, didn't you? And he goes. And I'm like, again, I'm like 12. And I was like. And his mom was so sweet, she's like, it was bound to happen, but next time just shut the up, you know, just eat the turkey that we made.

[Ryan Sickler]

Just eat the turkey.

[Adam Ray]

And so we had all these. We had two really cute girls when we were in seventh grade that were in Eighth grade, living in a neighborhood. And we would all for a reason. They had to crush my buddy's brother. So I'd always go to his house. And then we had a trampoline in Avery's backyard. He did. And then we put it under the basketball hoop and play tramp basketball. And then some nights we would sleep on the trampoline because it was nice Seattle summer nights. And these girls, we all hung out with them one time and I'm across the street with my, with my single mom and, and some of the, you know, if there's a shout out to old honeydew episodes. But the glass blower was probably coming over the next morning to, to do something. And I had bags of leaves in the front yard. And my mom was always like, you know, you got to rake the leaves. You know, we gotta, you gotta, you're the man of the house. You gotta keep the yard clean for us, whatever. I would spend hours bagging leaves. And these, these 8th grade girls that we had crushes on, we'd all hang out till 3, 4 in the morning and then they'd leave. And I think one of the kids in our group like got to make out and maybe finger one of us. Something happened and the rest of us were just like, dude, just tell us what it's taste like, smell it, whatever, just give us something. Give us something, man. You know? And, and then I wake up the next morning, I walk back home and all the bags of leaves, 15 bags of leaves are dumped out on my lawn and the house is egged and, and I, I, I wake up, I walk over there, I'm like, get the out of here. And my mom's like, just outside with a, like mop and towels and she goes, get the cleaning. She goes, I get it. She goes, kids are for kids. But this is, I mean, and it was a lot of eggs. We're not just talking like they found three or four eggs in the fridge. No, they went shopping and they went shopping and then they, and then bags of leaves. I've never been so angry. And we get to school on Monday and I'm just.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you know who did it at that point?

[Adam Ray]

Oh yeah. Cuz we spent, we hung out with all of them and they're all giggling. How are the leaves? And whatever. And they were so hot that I still was just like, ah, I was, you know what, I needed to rebag them anyway. You know, so hot.

[Ryan Sickler]

On the side, we got scrambled eggs. So it's all good, you know what I mean?

[Adam Ray]

Just took a Pan out, wait for those eggs to slide off the side.

[Ryan Sickler]

Slid down.

[Adam Ray]

So then I finally go, this, dude, I gotta get back at these girls. So we go down to Albertsons one night, the one that I would eventually start working at. And nobody can drive yet, so we would walk late at night to, like, people's houses. We'd walk 30, 40 minutes, sometimes an hour and a half to a different area. Lake Forest park was pretty safe, you know, but there was an area away from Turtle Rock that got into downtown Lake Forest park. And they called it. It was a weird, like, not alley. It was like a. They called it. Well, it was called Rapist Lane at some point because somebody got. I was trying to. Yeah, I never actually even thought about that. Yeah, because somebody got fiddled and diddled down there, and they didn't want to be. And it. And I don't. I mean, there also was, like, a mall Santa that lived at the top of that thing, and he actually got arrested one year because he was, you know, not asking kids what they wanted, but just. Is that right? Instead of just giving it to him? That's what I heard. Yeah. And it was. I mean, it was national news and whatever, but he lived around the corner. And so. So we're walking down Rapist Lane all the way to Aaron Zabuka Beck's house. Aaron's a book name. Aaron's a book of.

[Ryan Sickler]

What is that Zabuka back?

[Adam Ray]

I want to say Russian or Polish, but she had huge boobs. And she was 6, 4. And she was the first girl. And I danced with her in seventh grade, the dance. And I remember my head just being right. I rested my chin in her cleavage and looked out, being like, this is the greatest day of my life. And she's like, don't talk to me. And then. And then cut to a year later, she's a part of the hot girl crew. I'm gonna throw out all the names. Diana Kiefer, Nicolette Dresback. Oh, my God. These girls looked like they already had only fans accounts. And they were. They were just popular and they were hot, and they just. Everybody was like, whoa. They were athletic. And so Zabuka Beck was kind of leading the charge on the egging of my house that night. So I'm like this, dude, it's time to pay. It's time for payback on the way back. And so we go down to Albertsons, and I took money from my mom's purse, and we got some money from whatever we bought, no joke, about 500 rolls of toilet Paper. And the guy who was the night manager who ended up becoming a really good buddy of mine, shout out to Eddie Lord, who was a night manager. We're coming down there. It's about 11:30 before they close. And he's like, well, you, you like? Well, you guys really got a shit tonight, huh? Make some little joke like that. Which I then learned too, when I became a checker at Albertsons. Like the, the small talk banter you make with customers is so like you're pulling from products. Usually most people, when you're checking the grocery store, you know, the conversations would be like, oh, hey, hey, how's. How's your day going? Oh, it's pretty good. Hey, the sun's out today. Yeah. Yeah, I hope, I hope it stays out. Yeah, me too. But you know how Seattle is. The sun will probably go down and here come the clouds. Well, that's how weather works. Hey, you don't have a gun you can put in our mouths, do you? You know, just really stale going nowhere conversation. So I would pull from products, I'd be like, hey, Chapstick, look at that. Well, you got to keep your lips hydrated. It's getting pretty dry out there. Hey, Pop tarts. I'm more of a, you know, I'm more of a, a strudel guy, but hey, game recognizes game lube. What are you going to do to those pop darts later? All right, 675. And so, so Eddie's checking through all this toilet paper and he's like, you guys going to have some fun tonight, huh? We're like, hell yeah. And then later, I. Two years later, I work there.

[Ryan Sickler]

He.

[Adam Ray]

We, you know, reminisce about that. He's the. We walk about 2 hours ry all this with all the toy paper everyone's carrying like a, a giant, you know, 24 pack. And we go to Aaron's Abukabex and her house was set up to be teepeed. Now tipping at this point in the 90s in Seattle was a thing. The egging of the house was also happening. People would also do a thing. And we did it a few times, unfortunately.

[Ryan Sickler]

Up your paint, though. Up your paint and break a window.

[Adam Ray]

If you get one right 1000. We also would do the thing sometimes where we drive up and grab the garbage can outside the front and just drive and drag it and then just let it go and you know, it's fine. And then one time I bought a screen mask and we went to one of our buddy's girlfriend's place because she was home Alone and went up and like shined a flashlight in the window and was like, like. And that was pretty nasty. And then. And so. So here we are at Aaron's Abukabex and she's got every tree imaginable and they're all like 80 footers. So we're like, oh, if we can get some good distance and get a few stretches going on, we're gonna cover her house. We spent no joke about two and a half hours and use every roll of toilet paper just chalking them.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And her dad called everyone's par. Like, what the. And just going off and. And all the parents were just collectively like. Yeah. I mean, you know, they egged the Ray's house. So, you know, Pudding's by herself. She's dealing with a glassblower boyfriend. You know, life isn't going according to plan. So you brought this upon yourself. And. And I remember that being like a really victorious day. And I remember one of the hot girls said to one of to. To somebody like we were going to all go to the dance with you guys and now you it up or something like trying to give us like you like you up. But I felt pretty good about it. It was really satisfying. Taping a house is oddly satisfying.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, it is. It's so much fun.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Egan is too.

[Adam Ray]

I ain't gonna eggin is not. Yeah. Try burning it down. Yeah. Arson's the best. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, we had. My mother was cheat. When she was cheating on my dad. She dated this old guy and we used to get the world. Oh man. If she was in her 30s, he had to be in his 60s. We. We had the water balloon launcher.

[Adam Ray]

Oh my God. You know about the.

[Ryan Sickler]

The three person, you know, left one on the right and the person in the middle.

[Adam Ray]

What do you call it? It's the slingshot.

[Ryan Sickler]

Water balloon slingshot. It was not on a stick. It was. You held it something like this. It was more crude. It wasn't exact. But you see how one person get.

[Adam Ray]

Oh my God, dude. 11 bucks on Amazon for the greatest weekend of your life.

[Ryan Sickler]

And we would go to his house at night and from the hilltop we would just bomb and we'd be breaking windows and then we just haul ass out. Sure. You heard a couple thuds right there. That's super happen.

[Adam Ray]

Super stretch.

[Ryan Sickler]

That would send those water balloons to. Yeah. Over 200ft. Way more.

[Adam Ray]

I remember the first post divorce toy my mom bought me was a Super Soaker 2000. It was like the Super Soaker decided to add a couple more barrels and give you a little bit more bang for your buck.

[Ryan Sickler]

Looks like the proton pack over there.

[Adam Ray]

Look at that thing. Looks legal in seven countries.

[Ryan Sickler]

That looks like you got one parent.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That is a mom's.

[Adam Ray]

Like, you're protecting both of us with this. Now you're the man of the house. Yeah. With no dad. Oh, man. You know, and I got this on the same day that my mom got a used piano because I told her I wanted to take piano lessons. So she was just stepping up. She was like, I'm working four, five jobs at one point. I'm going to make sure that you can, you know, get. I mean, look, she made me do things like sell candy for the baseball uniforms. Yeah. Which, by the way, asking a fat kid to sell candy, I never did either.

[Ryan Sickler]

I ate them all and just ate.

[Adam Ray]

Them all in there, dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

I never sold any. I ate them.

[Adam Ray]

I was the top seller. There we go. North King County Little League. Did you know I was a male model in 1993? Look at the hair under the hat. My mom, by the way, goes lean up against this tree for a picture. And this is right before my coach, Mr. Drew, who had dinosaur arms. Remember the people that had little arms like this? Mr. Drew, shout out. I think he's still alive. He would drive, which scared everybody. He'd leave the game and go, all right, guys, have a good day. I was like, what the are you doing? He had two dinosaur T. Rex arms. And I remember during this game, how.

[Ryan Sickler]

The hell is he putting.

[Adam Ray]

He didn't play catch. No. He'd come up behind you, around third base or nothing. No, he didn't, but he would do. Oh, dude. He would do this, and he would come up and give you a hug, and we'd all laugh about it. We're kids, and you have dinosaur arms and you're trying to hug us. Us. It's funny. And during this game, there was a lightning storm, and he goes, everybody huddle under this tree real quick. Before for a team meeting. And I remember all the parents. I remember one of my friend's dad, Rob Nielsen, he goes, what the Are you talking about, Coach Drew? Because he was like lightning under a tree. And he goes, real quick. Team meeting. And then I remember a kid, Morgan Nielsen, got a triple. And Mr. Drew calls it, has our team, and we won the game. And Morgan was as big as me, if not bigger. And he goes, morgan, come on up here. And he's put his arms around him, and Morgan's looking at us, going like this with his eyes, like. Like he's hugging me, like making a face. And Mr. Drew goes, Morgan's the fattest kid on the team, and he got a triple. And everyone starts laughing, and I'm just like, finally take some of the attention off of Krispy Kreme and so off of my titties. And so I would sell. I would eat all the candy. And I remember one day at Turtle Rock, actually, we were living Turtle Rock then, and I. I went to a house near Diana Key for one of hot girls houses, and. And a dog got out and chased me. And I ran all the way home with two boxes of Kit Kats and Reese's peanut butter cups. And at one point, the dog stays at me. And by the way, I had gone up the hill. I used to always threaten my mom too. I was like, I'm going to run away from home. When it was just mom, sister and I and things got tough and tense and, you know, she was dating a guy that. That brought over after I got the used piano and we got piano lessons. The guy came over. He quit after three lessons because I go, just teach me the Jurassic park theme song. I want to. I want to impress girls in the fifth grade during the l at the lunchroom piano. And so he's like, you got to learn fair le. I was like, nah, man. Beverly Hills Cop theme song. And then he quit. And then my mom's boyfriend at the time got me a saxophone. He's like, I hear you like music. And he brought over a saxophone, by the way, the reed was still wet. It was a used saxophone. So I opened it up. I opened it up and it was a used saxophone. And it smelled. The case smelled. He's like, I got it from Kenly keys. Jealous. And I was like, I don't think you paid for this. I think they just gave it to you. They said, who wants. He's like, hey, man, I'm. This. This woman's. I'm this. This. This single mom. You got any used saxophone? Yeah, he took it from another family probably. And so it's used saxophone. And. And I was like, no, thanks. Oh, but so I used to. That was. It was tough times because. Because, you know, my mom was just tainting around and. And I'm. I'm getting chased by dogs. I dropped all the candy in the middle of the street. My mom was like, we. You need that candy. We can't buy more. I was like, I was gonna get eaten by the Kiefer's dog. And I used to always threaten her to run away from home. Because I was like, it was my way. I mean, just a little punk kid. I think I was stressed, you know? And. And I remember my mom saying one point, she's like, you're really gonna run away from home. You know, you're. You're a fat kid. And it's a. We have a. A 40 inch incline out of the cul de sac. Like, that's a fat kid's kryptonite. She didn't say that, but she. But she was just like, you're not going anywhere. And she would always suck me back in. She's like, we're gonna have spaghetti meatballs for dinner. And I was like, like, tomorrow morning after speed, I'm leaving, you know? Yeah, yeah. I'd always change my tune. She's like, all right, well, you got the soccer bank. We're going to Shaky's Sunday afternoon. Alert the press in three days time.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, dude, I love you. Thank you. We got to get you out of here. Okay, great.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, I could go forever.

[Adam Ray]

I could do this. I mean, this is a great. This is the best new show, baby. Thank you. You've struck a chord.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you.

[Adam Ray]

Colin isolates. Put up his Instagram real quick and promote whatever please again, like, and subscribe my special like and subscribe on my YouTube channel right now. Go see it, share it, enjoy it. I'm on tour. Adamraycomy.com for all those tour dates. Dr. Phil live tour will be announced in the. In the coming days, but all the Dr. Phil specials are on YouTube. Just type in Dr. Phil Adam Ray on YouTube and check them out. Instagram and Twitter and tick tock. Adam Ray comedy. And, uh, and about last night is the podcast and I love you, Ry.

[Ryan Sickler]

I love you, brother. Come back anytime.

[Adam Ray]

You got it, baby.

[Ryan Sickler]

As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Come see me on tour. Tickets are on my website@ryan sickler.com we'll talk to y'all next week.