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The Who What Wear Podcast
WWW Weddings: Unpacking The Plus-Size Bridal Dilemma, the “Fat Tax,” and the Designers Getting it Right
00:34:06
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- [00:00]
Anna Escalante
And now a next level moment from ATT Business. Say you've sent out a gigantic shipment of pillows and they need to be.
- [00:06]
Alicia Cole
There in time for International Sleep day.
- [00:07]
Anna Escalante
You've got AT and T5G so you're fully confident, but the vendor isn't responding.
- [00:12]
Alicia Cole
And International Sleep Day is tomorrow.
- [00:14]
Anna Escalante
Luckily, AT&T 5G lets you deal with any issues with ease so the pillows.
- [00:18]
Alicia Cole
Will get delivered and everyone can sleep soundly, especially you. ATT 5G requires a compatible plan and.
- [00:24]
Anna Escalante
Device coverage not available everywhere.
- [00:25]
Alicia Cole
Learn more@att.com 5G Network.
- [00:41]
Hilary Kerr
Welcome to the who what Wear? Podcast, your direct line to the designers, stylists, beauty experts, editors and tastemakers who are shaping the ever evolving world of fashion. I'm who what Wears? Co Founder and Chief Content Officer Hilary Kerr and today our Editorial Director Lauren Egertson is joined by a very special bride to be our Associate Features Editor, Anna Escalante. When Anna got engaged earlier this year, she was so excited to start her journey, but she knew it would be harder to find a dress that she could say yes to as a plus size bride. Anna wrote an amazing piece for our wedding issue about her dress shopping experience. We'll link it in the episode Description in this episode, Anna takes us behind the story and inside the fitting rooms of her dress appointments to tell us what she saw at different boutiques, the good and the very very bad. You'll hear snippets of her conversations with plus size bridal stylist Alicia Cole about the history of bridal sizing and the bridal fat tax. Plus you'll hear her interviews with with designers Alexandra Greco and Jenny Yu about how they work hard to make every bride feel beautiful. It's all coming up on who, What, Where.
- [02:08]
Lauren Egertson
Hi Anna, I am so excited that you're here and I'm so excited to chat with you about this recent story that you wrote because you just got engaged, right?
- [02:18]
Anna Escalante
Yeah, I did. That was like three months ago. But I feel like the last couple of weeks has been a whirlwind. It feels like it happened yesterday and so bringing that to sight through this story has been great.
- [02:27]
Lauren Egertson
Can you tell us a little bit like top level, the details of your engagement, how it happened?
- [02:32]
Anna Escalante
Yeah, this is actually a funny story. I actually haven't shared this yet because life has just been so busy. So I got engaged on a two week trip to Japan. I used to live there. I moved there like straight out of high school and that was one of the biggest trips that me and my fiance would do like regularly. He would come to visit me when I was living in Tokyo, and we decided to, like, plan a trip for cherry blossom season. At this point, like, all the alarm bells in my head were going off. You know, I've been with him for about eight and a half years at that point, so clock was ticking. But we got engaged during the sunset in Tokyo, and then he, like, surprised me with a photo shoot, and we, like, went out to get ramen after. It was very us. It was very romantic and very low key. And, yeah, dream come true. Really?
- [03:18]
Lauren Egertson
Oh, my gosh, it sounds like a dream. For those of you who follow Anna, you have to go look at the photos too. It was such a beautiful and unique engagement photo shoot you guys had, and I just loved it. And I'm really excited to have you here today to talk specifically about the story that you just wrote for us on who, what, where, which was called Designers Are Finally Beginning to Understand the Plus Size Bride. Why did it take so long? Can you tell us a little bit about what inspired this story and why you wanted to write it?
- [03:46]
Anna Escalante
Yeah, absolutely. Obviously, when I got engaged, there was so many things swirling in my head. Perhaps the most funny of those things was like, what am I gonna wear? Quite literally, within minutes of my fiance getting down on one knee, I'm like, oh, my God, wait, what am I gonna wear? Like, I have, like, a year and a half to repair. Like, what is my dress gonna look like? And so as I began this process, which is, like, very personal and very intimate, I found myself so frustrated by the lack. I think that the wedding industry, especially if you're plus sized, has a way of making you feel so small. I think it's almost something that a lot of plus size fashion people have desensitized about the ready to wear industry. It's like, we know that a lot of the clothes that we see on the Runway aren't going to come in our size, but for the one wedding dress that we're excited to wear or the dress that we've dreamed about for years, like, you would think that perhaps that is another facet of the industry that, like, might be somewhat inclusive. But in fact, I found it was, like, very much thought it. So the story kind of came about from this very personal need. So when I kind of began talking and reaching out to other plus size brides or other plus size content creators who had recently gotten engaged, I felt that there was this one section of the market that was missing when it came to plus size bridal. So, you know, there are so many Mass market stores out there that are serving a ton of women in America whose inventory is really vast when it comes to different sizes. And that was one option that a lot of us have. The other option that we have is to befriend designer or shell out tens of thousands of dollars on a custom made gown. So I felt like there was this sort of demi couture piece that was missing in the bridal industry, and I wanted to figure out why that was missing. If there were any designers who were catering to that kind of bride who had a little bit more of an elevated eye or a little bit of a healthier budget if they are in the market. Like, where's the marketing behind that? So that's kind of how it began.
- [05:48]
Lauren Egertson
I mean, that makes a lot of sense. I think that's why a lot of people really connected to it. I think they're probably so grateful to you for really opening up the conversation. But I'm also curious, now that we have the background, what were your first steps in tackling this dress journey and this story? Specifically, because it already sounds quite overwhelming.
- [06:07]
Anna Escalante
I think in total, it was about two months of reporting and going into different bridal boutiques. Even before I reached out to you guys about doing the story, I had already gotten to like a handful appointments and been like, wow, there's a lot to unpack here. But, you know, before I got into doing a lot of the hardcore market appointments and dress fittings, I really wanted to tap Alicia Cole, who is this plus size bridal stylist and content creator. And a lot of the content that she does really, again, came about from this personal need and this personal frustration when she was getting engaged back in 2015 due to lack of samples and the lack of styles available for plus size brides. I also spoke with Alicia kind of about this whole weird sizing thing that the bridal industry has going on when it comes to their showroom samples.
- [07:00]
Alicia Cole
When a lot of designers in the US Started to adapt vanity sizing, bridal was not one of the industries that move forward with vanity sizing. So that vanity sizing is what you're ready to wear, essentially is. And bridal didn't adapt that. So it's a little bit more old school in terms of size. What's difficult is every designer has a different size chart. So sometimes you'll hear a rule of thumb that says your bridal size is about two times larger than your regular ready to wear size. It's not an exact size science. It totally depends on each of your measurements. And the style of the dress, and it's a little all over the place. So the more specific answer is like, we don't know. It's just such a crapshoot. Like, it truly is a little bit of a nightmare.
- [07:52]
Anna Escalante
After talking to her, I knew that the biggest problem when it comes to a lot of plus sized brides and trying on samples is the fact that they're just like not really available at most showrooms. And I think there's like a caveat here, right? A lot of bridal designers are like independent, small, indie designers who don't have necessarily the capabilities or the capital to scale and make every single dress and every single size. And because of increased production costs and like labor costs, it's just quite impossible, especially for these small designers. But you have to wonder, like, hey, if these giant designers can produce a massive collection and sell thousands of gowns, why can't they make a sample in a size 20?
- [08:38]
Lauren Egertson
Yeah, absolutely. This was something that, you know, in my experience when I was getting married and starting my fittings, I feel like no matter what size you are, it's so easy to become really attached and find identity in that number. But like, someone tells you this is the size dress we're trying on and it's not fitting and it's not a number you're used to seeing, it affects your confidence that day. And it might not be in your head like this fairy tale shopping experience that I think the movies and media kind of always portray. So, you know, no matter what the reason is why the brands can't have all the sizes available to everyone, kind of doesn't matter. It still like, affects people, period.
- [09:15]
Anna Escalante
You really have to go into this process with such an open mind because if not the bridal industry, I do genuinely feel like tries to set up everyone for disappointment, mostly plus sized brides, but I mean, everyone. It's just you struggle with the whole body image, self confidence of it as well. And so, yeah, it's dark.
- [09:34]
Lauren Egertson
Yes, definitely. Definitely dark.
- [09:37]
Anna Escalante
Another thing I really wanted Alicia's thoughts on was the idea that the wedding industry has like a fat tax, very similar to the pink tax that a lot of female focused brands have and pass on to consumers. And she and I had some strong thoughts on the matter.
- [09:54]
Alicia Cole
Oh, absolutely. It's very real because there are also designers who put themselves out there as size inclusive, but if you want to order a dress over a size 18, they have an additional fee and they will say it's because of fabric. My argument is always, okay, then why aren't you charging more for a size 6 over a size 0, you won't do that. You've made an arbitrary line. So that's very frustrating. I do think there's definitely a fat tax in, like, multiple ways. I would say a fair amount of designers that are starting to do more curve sizing, especially in the beginning of that process for them, they might not be doing a great job of scaling their designs up. They might be scaling from a sample size 0 or 2, and when you're doing that, the design changes a little bit and it might not change well. So we are also seeing that fat tax in alterations sometimes where the designer didn't know quite how to build out this plus size dress because they don't make those samples. And maybe it was the first time they did something in a 28, and now it's is back on the customer to try and figure out how much is this going to cost in alterations to make this dress look the way the size 2 sample does?
- [11:10]
Lauren Egertson
Yeah, it's not okay. And I know this conversation is applied to ready to wear in general, but especially in this space where a made to order gown is so expensive, the price increasing anymore is just absolutely not fair and it's not appropriate. And I also think that even if you have endless funds, if your only route is custom, let's say, to get your dream dress in this situation, like some people don't even want to do custom, doing a custom gown can be really scary. It just shouldn't be a different process. It should be a universal process for everyone.
- [11:40]
Anna Escalante
Yeah. I mean, going back when I was looking at my Pinterest, when I was done with this reporting, there were like, gowns that I had pinned on there for years. And when I asked brands about what would this cost to make in my size, literally it was like, at least 7 to $8,000 more. I'm not changing the design. We're just scaling it up. And so that really, like, threw me for such a loop. And it just forces you to sit back and be like, wow, how is this something that, like, more people aren't outraged over?
- [12:09]
Lauren Egertson
Absolutely. So after having these conversations with Alicia, how did you integrate this knowledge and these conversations into your appointments moving forward?
- [12:18]
Anna Escalante
Yeah, this is where it gets juicy. And I think that as a journalist, something I love is putting on my little investigative cap and going into places as an editor and then as someone that these brands don't know. So when I was going to a lot of these showrooms, making these appointments on my own before I decided to turn this into a story. I would see how different those answers would be if I was like a customer. The brands that couldn't cater to my size were a lot more upfront and honest. And then perhaps when I went on the record later on in the process to like, re ask those same questions, I'd kind of get a little bit more of a like, oh, but we could do this or we could do that. And other plus size brides that I was talking to, they would tell me like, oh yeah, they said that they just couldn't accommodate or if I wanted to make a gown, it would be like a 3,000 price tag here to add this $4,000 here for an additional fitting for this and that. And then when I went in as a reporter, they were like, oh no, that doesn't exist. Don't worry about it. So you're like, something's weird here. And you know, I think at the end of the day that's the biggest lesson that I learned about reporting this story is that bridal industry is just, I feel like shrouded in this sense of secrecy. And no one wants to own up to the fact that a lot of their sizing practices are like in the gutter, for lack of a better term. And so when your marketing says one thing, but your sizing says another thing, it doesn't add up. And for every brand that I say was really eye opening and experienced in a negative way, there were also brands that were so open and so honest about their struggles with creating like plus size samples or brands that were like, we actually, actually designed with like plus size brides in mind. From the jump, you know, not all hope is lost.
- [14:06]
Lauren Egertson
You then began more appointments, right? What did it look like when you first started getting into these appointments? Did you learn anything weird or like, were you shocked by anything? I remember for me, when I started looking at dresses, I really was surprised by how like, I did not feel comfortable in a lot of the big gowns and the shapes that I thought I would really gravitate towards. When I put them on, I felt so out of my element. And I remember very quickly I felt like I needed to see my feet pretty short. And that was just like the most random thing that I could not have ever planned for. But like every huge gown, I just felt like I was playing dress up. So I'm just curious if you, as you started these appointments, did you have any weird learnings like that that were a bit unexpected?
- [14:47]
Anna Escalante
That's a good question. Not to take it to a place of trauma, but like, is she's a plus size person. I think that the idea of what flattering is is something that's deeply ingrained into my brain, unfortunately. And so I was like, oh, I have to try on things that are completely flattering and diminish my stomach or diminish my thighs or make my back look smaller. And a lot of the dresses I tried on were not those things at all. And I really loved them. So it was like a lot of unlearning, if that makes sense. I learned personally about myself that it's okay to try everything once. And I fell in love with styles that I believed wouldn't look good on someone who's plus size. I feel like a lot of plus size stylists or like people on the Internet are like, if you have a pear body shape, wear that. And I did the complete opposite and felt the most beautiful I had in a long time. It was a very emotional process and it was very great, especially when I worked with the designers who, like, really understood me and took time to sit down, figured out what I loved, figured out what styles I wanted to reference and wanted to wear. And I'm sure, Lauren, you worked with, with Christy from Loho, who you rave so much about, you know, and I think it's a testament to that as well. It's like you really have to find someone who's going to guide your hand throughout the process. And some of these designers were really the most incredible women when it came to these interviews. Answering my questions and making me feel as comfortable as I possibly could.
- [16:11]
Lauren Egertson
Yeah, that is really the most important part, because if the person helping you, which is a very intimate experience, experience on its own, if you're not on the same page, if you don't feel like you can trust them, if you don't feel like they're your biggest champion on that day, it can be a miserable experience. And that really is what can make or break the whole process. So I'm curious too, like, what were some of your favorite boutiques that you felt like, did this really well in terms of your, you know, appointment experiences?
- [16:38]
Anna Escalante
When it came to featuring designers who were going to be in the piece, I had a very stringent list of requirements that they had to meet. One of those was that, like, I had to sit down with a designer and interview them and ask why they are making certain decisions on their sizing. I could sit down with a designer and they could be like, we're working on having a plus size sample and we have plus size rides in the past but, like, our biggest sample is, like, a size six. That's not going to work for me, so had to throw them out as well. The two designers that fit that bill were Alexander Greco and Jenny Yu. And I cannot say enough, like, how incredibly special and, like, memorable those conversations and experiences were, even if they might not be plus size themselves, like, centering those conversations and those thoughts and those feelings that their plus size brides have and carrying that with them through the design process, I think is really, really important.
- [17:34]
Lauren Egertson
Yeah, definitely. Can you tell me a little bit more about your experience, specifically with either of the names that you've mentioned so far?
- [17:43]
Anna Escalante
Yeah, absolutely. I started my search with Alexander Greco, who is just fabulous. Her and the team were so welcoming. And the showroom is stunning. I highly recommend going. It kind of feels like a warm, cozy hug. But Alexandra kind of began as a ready to wear label that transitioned into Bridal about 15 years ago. A lot of her clients in the ready to wear space just fell in love with her designs, and they were like, can you make this dress in white or can you make it with lace? And that's kind of how the brand came to be. One of the stories that Alexandra told me when we were sitting down in her showroom for the interview was she remembered early on in her career, she went to a trunk show. And I think a bride that was attending and working with another designer couldn't try on, like, a single dress at the trunk show. I've never been to a trunk show, but, like, from what I've heard, it's dozens and dozens of designers with maybe hundreds of dresses available to try on. So if you don't even have one that fits you and you spend all this money and you bring all your loved ones with you, and you sit there and defeat. She really took that experience personally and built her legacy and her bridal brand on making sure that experience would never happen to anyone if she was at a drunk show. Again, one of the most important things to me about talking with her for this story was the fact that a lot of her gowns, or most of her gowns are actually handmade in New York. So a lot of them are completely customizable. And because of that, the brand kind of doesn't really work around a very strict size guide. Everything is, like, made to order, mostly made to measure. There's no certain cap on pricing if you go above a certain size. So let's say if you're a size 14 or a size 32, the dress is going to cost the exact same And I think that that is really, really important, especially for brides who are on the larger end of the plus size spectrum. Beyond offering larger size gowns at no additional cost, the brand also designs with, like a size 810 in mind, rather than like a bridal standard size 0 or 2. And that basically means that instead of fitting your gown to someone who's very lean and might not have, like, many curves or is very narrow, they're able to build a lot of their bodices, a lot of their bust, and a lot of their skirts with, like, curves in mind, which, of course, many plus size women have. So it's, like, easier to scale up and down their designs. It's kind of always made with the average American woman in mind, if that makes sense, rather than like someone who looks like a Runway model. Definitely, you know, and after my fitting, which was like this four hour, fun process filled with champagne and laughs and selfies, and it was great, I spoke with Alexandra, and when I just, like, bluntly asked her, I was like, what's your approach to sizing for a bride who walks in here for the first time? This is what she said.
- [20:36]
Lauren Egertson
Everyone deserves that moment, that really beautiful moment when shopping for their dress. And my goal is that everyone is able to visualize their dream piece, whatever it may be, that they can get a sense of what that might look like on them. And so it's a little bit of extra fabric, but, like, I 100% would rather make less profit than make someone feel different or like they need to pay some sort of fee. Does it take more time to develop additional sizes? Is it more costly to invest in having multiple samples in multiple sizes in store? Of course it does. But, you know, is it a priority that those pieces exist so that our clients can have that experience? Yes, that's number one.
- [21:23]
Anna Escalante
Beyond Alexandra's incredible approach to sizing and inclusivity, that made me really fall in love with her brand. I just am obsessed with the actual work she creates. A lot of her garments, much like her showroom, kind of feel like you're like, walking into sort of like Dreamscape. It's very whimsical and romantic, and you could tell that a lot of her designs are very intentional and they're marketed towards a customer who is a little bit more elevated but still has kind of this, like, sense of personality that I feel like can be lost when you're looking at modern gowns for bridal. That was something I struggled with as well. I was like, do I want something that's, like, very Timeless and devoid of personality and going to look elegant and like doesn't feel like me and Alexandra and her brand basically take that notion on their head and they're like fudge that. Wear exactly what you want, have personality and it feels very fresh. And like I said, apart from her sizing, that's what really made me fall in love with her and her work.
- [22:29]
Lauren Egertson
It sounds like the dream experience. And then what about Jennie? I know you mentioned her.
- [22:34]
Anna Escalante
Yeah. So I feel like any bride who's like planned a wedding in the last few years knows who Jennie you is. They're part of the Jennie U. Army. You know, she's everywhere and for good reason. Her stuff is incredibly well priced, incredibly well designed and quite accessible. When it comes to their size range, I kind of want to say they have probably the best size chart out of any like mass consumer bridal brand. They basically go up to a 32 and then down to a double zero. So there's really a gown for everyone at every size and every single gown that they make is produced in that entire size range. So there's not like a gown that you can walk into the showroom, fall in love with and be like oh sorry. That actually goes up to a US 12 which happens all the time and ready to wear and at other bridal to chelier. And they're putting plus sized brides at kind of the center of the narrative and making sure that those brides feel reflected in their marketing, in their showroom, in their samples and making that like a full365 experience for them. Beyond the design versatility that Jennie U. Has, it's basically as one of the largest bridal blinds in the United States. Not incredibly out of reach for a lot of consumers. You know, we're talking most gowns starting at around like 1200 perhaps and going up to $5,000. When it comes to a plus size bride, especially one that has more money to spend but not drop $20,000 on a custom gown like Jennie, you is approachable, accessible and feels right in line with what a lot of these brides are looking for. Lauren, like you said, you know, a lot of people who are plus size, like they might not want like a custom dress. They just might want to look like everyone else. And there's a beauty in that I feel like plus size women are always meant to feel othered in fashion. And like for far too long the plus size bridal options at major retailers have been very over the top. There's embellishments, there's lace and there's sequins and there's ruching, and it's just like overstimulation 101.
- [24:41]
Lauren Egertson
Unless that's your vibe, then.
- [24:42]
Anna Escalante
Unless that's your vibe.
- [24:43]
Lauren Egertson
But no, I hear you.
- [24:44]
Anna Escalante
It almost feels like designers do so much, much to the dress in their minds, distract from the body. And a lot of bridal designers think that that's what plus size brides want, and that's not what they want. They just want to look like everyone else and have a gown that may not be the most groundbreaking, crazy sculptural design, but it's beautiful and it's timeless and it's something their mother could have worn. Jenny does this so well. They're just clean, minimal, beautiful, timeless, incredible gowns. And there are some gowns that are, like, a bit more out of the box and sculptural and architectural. Like, there's a sign that she has for everyone.
- [25:21]
Lauren Egertson
I feel like they're exactly what people think about when they think about a bride. And there is a lot of, like, nostalgia associated with wedding dresses and getting married. And I agree that Jennie does an amazing job with that.
- [25:35]
Anna Escalante
And during my conversation with Jenny, we talked a lot about the current state of the plus size bridal market, and this is what she had to say.
- [25:43]
Lauren Egertson
There's definitely been a shift, I would say, in the last five years. And the more brands that sort of celebrate in their marketing, the more I think other brands sort of want to follow suit. That's there, but I think at the end of the day, that's not enough. That's not enough. I'm curious, as you've gone through this experience, was there anything specific that you learned that you think is really crucial to share with our audience or any tips for people who might be embarking on this similar journey or experience for themselves?
- [26:13]
Anna Escalante
Yeah. And I know we talked a little bit earlier about sizing.
- [26:17]
Lauren Egertson
Yeah.
- [26:17]
Anna Escalante
And the idea of not letting a number or a size chart define you. And I want to say that that's the number one experience that I think that anyone can take away, regardless of what size you are from this story. It's like bridal as an industry is not designed with the way a modern woman looks. And I say that because, again, like, we were talking about bridal and bridal designers mostly designed to, like, a zero or two. And so I think the biggest thing to remember, regardless of your size, when you're looking for a wedding dress is to just don't look at the tag. Don't do it. It's like snooping through your Situation. Chips, phone, when you know you shouldn't. Nothing is going to come. You're going to feel awful. Don't do it.
- [27:03]
Lauren Egertson
You're always going to find something you don't like.
- [27:06]
Anna Escalante
Exactly.
- [27:06]
Lauren Egertson
Just leave it alone.
- [27:07]
Anna Escalante
Leave it alone. Both Jenny, you and Alexander Greco. Like, no one even told me what size I am. They're just like, okay, we'll get your measurements. Great. The feeling I had about not thinking about my body for two seconds was incredible. And so I think if you're going into, like, a bridal appointment and you really are nervous about that whole numbers game, I would make it very clear from the beginning. Just be like, don't tell me my size. Pick things that look good on me. And at the end of the day, there's so many clips and modesty panels and weird dark magic that they do to, like, make dresses fit, even if they're too big or too small. So it's like the number doesn't even matter. You know what I mean?
- [27:43]
Lauren Egertson
Yeah.
- [27:43]
Anna Escalante
And I'm sure, Lauren, like, yeah, you've been through, like, the amount of clips that they use to, like, make Crazy. No, no, no, no. Like, I don't know how they do it.
- [27:51]
Lauren Egertson
Literally, you're, like, being jolted around. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I think a rib just dislocated. Like, what is this big panel back here? Yeah, it's crazy. That should be studied genuinely.
- [28:01]
Anna Escalante
Like, another piece of advice apart from sizing, like we were talking about, it's really so important to surround yourself with people that make you feel beautiful and confident. Whether that's with the people who you're bringing to the fitting room with you or the people who work at the brands who you're stepping into these gowns with, they're seeing you at your most vulnerable. Having a support system around you, I think is really, really important. And that's something that I had at a couple of my appointments. And I think it made the world of difference.
- [28:29]
Lauren Egertson
Yes, I 100% agree. I know everyone has different circumstances with family or friends, but for me, I wanted my closest people around me. And it is something you just have to be careful of, and you have to be really intentional with it. Like, if you walk out of that room and you don't feel good about yourself and you feel embarrassed or whatever, you want someone who's still gonna lift you up or, like, make light of the situation, but then also be really honest with you, people who know you really well. With me, my little team that I brought, like, I brought my mom a lot and my best friend Robbie and my aunt, and they're not afraid to tell me how it is. But they're also my biggest cheerleaders, which is really special, you know, for me in my own world with this experience, you just hear all these horrible like, oh, before you get married, you need to lose weight and you need to be like, in the best shape of your life and just. It's not true. If anything, you should look like your most authentic self on your wedding day. And I remember talking to Christy Aloha, actually about this, who you mentioned. And I was like, what should I do for sizing? Like, you're ordering these dresses so far in advance. And she was like, lauren, I don't even know why you're asking that. We're ordering the size that you are today. Don't lose weight, don't change your body. You are beautiful. You pick this dress because of how you looked in it today, in this moment. All of the noise, cut it out. This is the dress for you because of how you look and how your body is. And like, it's perfect for you. This is the size we're ordering. It was such a refreshing thing to hear from someone too, where she was just like, that's not even. That's a non question. This is you. We are celebrating you, you know?
- [29:54]
Anna Escalante
Yeah. And I was gonna say, with the rise of GLP1s, the amount of TikTok propaganda I've seen on like wedding day brides, I opened the TikTok comments and I'm like, oh, they're probably gonna say get a facial or get Botox or whatever. But it's like, oh my God, no. Talk to your doctor about like, Ms. Ozempi. I'm like, oh, we're like so behind as a society. We're like, we're really in the dark place. And if there's anything that I hope people take away from this story is you genuinely can feel beautiful any size. Shopping for a wedding dress was something that was so scary and nerve wracking to me. And yeah, I had some of the worst experiences ever, but I also had some of the best experiences ever. And I think that on the one day that we are supposed to feel the most beautiful, there's no part of our bodies that we should change. I really do think it's the other way around. Like the plus size customer is such an untapped market. Some of these brands are really laying the groundwork for a lot of plus size women. I feel like we're not at all encouraged to feel Beautiful or like we don't see ourselves reflected in these beautiful fairy tale dreamscape weddings. And I think that I want a plus sized bride who's reading this or listening to this episode to just feel seen and visible and like centered. Because I think it's really important to remember that no matter how many designers think that we are people not worth dressing or people not worth making feel beautiful, we are. And that just means that we have to be so emotionally in tune with the brands that we are to supposed supporting and the brands that we love, because those are the people who are going to make us feel so special on such an important day. Wow, that was really emotional. Oh, well.
- [31:50]
Lauren Egertson
Oh, well. Cried on the pod.
- [31:53]
Anna Escalante
That's why you never get a Gen Z bride to say anything. I'm like, you guys, this is so important. Bye.
- [32:00]
Lauren Egertson
Bye. No, that was beautiful and perfect. Another thing I was thinking about when you were saying that, which can apply as advice to every process of the wedding planning journey beyond just dresses. But I think emotionally it's really important to remember this is about the wedding. It's about your marriage. That's why you're there. That's why you're getting the dress, that's why you're picking the venue. That's why you're doing all these things. It's because you're getting married to your person and that person is going to love you and think you are beautiful no matter what you are wearing. And I tried to remember that too and tell my friends that of like marriage over the wedding, marriage over the dress. Try to like recenter ground yourself and why you're even having these experiences, whether some of them are good or bad or whatever. Your partner is going to see you on that day and just be like, this is my person and we're starting this next chapter together. And so that's a good way to just check yourself and be like, whoa. Okay. You know what I mean?
- [32:55]
Anna Escalante
Yeah.
- [32:55]
Lauren Egertson
Yeah.
- [32:55]
Anna Escalante
I was gonna say if someone who had wedding of the century, like who will wear royalty?
- [33:00]
Lauren Egertson
Oh my God. Well, thank you so much, Anna, for sharing this story and for really diving in for us and for all of our listeners. If you haven't read it, please go read it on site. It was a part of our beautiful wedding issue. And again, we're just so honored to have these words live on who, what, where, and we're so grateful for you, Anna.
- [33:19]
Anna Escalante
Thank you for trusting me to bring this story to life. I'm glad that you guys let me have these wild ideas and just run with them. I on site and see what happens.
- [33:33]
Hilary Kerr
A huge thank you to Editorial Director Lauren Eggertson and Associate Features Editor Anna Escalante. Make sure to subscribe to our show wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss an episode. And while you're there, I'd also be so grateful if you'd rate and review us. If you if you have any guest suggestions or any other feedback, drop us a line at podcastwhowhatwhere.com or you can find us on social WhoWhatWhere. See you next Wednesday on the who what Where Podcast. This episode was produced by Hilary Kerr, Summer Hammeris and Natalie Thurman. Our production assistant is Raven Yamamoto, our editor is Ko Takasuki Chernovin. Our audio engineers are at Glen Canyon Audio and our music is by Jonathan Leahy.
- [34:37]
Lauren Egertson
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