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Brandon
Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
Dan
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Stephen Che
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Dan
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Brandon
There's some gold mug boys in today that yeah they're nice guys.
Nick
Yeah guys.
Brandon
Yeah there they from Stephen and David.
Kate
Oh I saw them come in. I thought they were like cuz they came in with backpacks and stuff. I said these guys are it.
Brandon
Oh yeah I was wrong.
Kate
They're cool.
Brandon
Sorry I thought they profile.
Kate
I profiled them based off their backpacks
Dan
and not and and it's it not these guys but it smells like loser in here today. I don't know Where? Wait for that.
Brandon
Oh, no. Oh, you can't do that. Smell.
Dana
Oh, my God.
Kyle
A loser of weight.
Brandon
Then you made TJ slow pan them.
Nick
Yeah, TJ had to do it.
TJ
Had to do it.
Dan
Oh, we love the Hitchings.
Dana (Ozempic user)
That's.
TJ
The Hitchings are here.
Dan
We love the Hitchings.
TJ
Oh, man, that lady brought me delicious biscuits. Oh, really? Yeah. A box full of biscuits. Thank you.
Brandon
For everybody or just for you?
TJ
I believe they were just for me.
Dan
And you ate them all?
TJ
Nope.
Dan
So can I have one?
TJ
Yep. You want it now?
Dan
Yeah.
Brandon
How many biscuits?
TJ
You don't want a biscuit?
Dan
I would love.
Brandon
Oh, Brandon.
Dan
Oh, my God. Would I love a biscuit?
Brandon
You ate them all, didn't you?
TJ
I didn't eat them all. They're all on my desk.
Dan
Can I have one?
Dana
I.
TJ
My feet don't work. You really want one?
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
Okay.
Nick
Yeah.
Kyle
He's not coming back, is he?
Dan
No, no, he's never coming back.
Dana
That's it.
TJ
You want the biscuit?
Dan
I do want the biscuit.
Nick
Yeah.
Brandon
But you were a little too excited to go leave.
Dana
That's the fastest Brandon's gotten up for a shot. That's a new record.
Dan
Yeah.
Dana
Less than five minutes, he gets up
Dan
and
Dana
hates the show.
Dan
He hates. He said he's got a wheel proposal. It's going to be. Let's get. How about we get rid of it? That's what he's gonna say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gonna make a big deal. He's like, how about. Let's think about this, guys.
Brandon
Then he's gonna look at me. Or.
Kate
Or.
Dan
Yeah. Or we don't do the thing. Yeah.
Brandon
He's gonna look for you and I'll do it. I'll break.
Dan
Don't break. I'm gonna also look at you. Oh, double look.
Brandon
I won't be able to handle that.
Kyle
Should we add a slice that just says Brandon. What?
Dana
Yeah, that's good.
Brandon
Kate, look pretty.
TJ
Yeah.
Nick
Something new.
TJ
What'd you do?
Kate
What the are you guys doing?
Dan
What'd you do? What are you doing right now?
Kate
Is it my.
Dana
We were. What?
Nick
I think it's your microbiome.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yeah.
TJ
Did you change your.
Dana
Yeah, your microbiome is glowing.
TJ
It is?
Kate
Whoa. Buzzing about my butt.
Dan
So these were made by TJ's mom.
Kate
Wait, I want to see.
Brandon
You just want to see.
Kate
I want to see TJ's mom's biscuit.
Dana
That sounds fantastic.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yeah.
Brandon
Kate, have you been introducing healthy bacterium?
Nick
That bad? I figured they were bad, but.
Dan
Oh, that's good relationship.
Kate
Yeah, that's delicious.
Dan
Those are really Good.
Nick
Amazing.
Dana
Good. Yep, they're really good.
Kyle
I'm okay.
Brandon
No, I realize every time complimenting Kate makes her more uncomfortable than being horrible to her. So it's been fun.
Dan
So this guy's just such a weirdo, huh?
Brandon
What guy?
Dan
Brian Johnson.
Kate
This guy. He got her.
TJ
Oh, yeah.
Dan
I started reading the. The. The scouting report on her vagina and had to stop myself and be like, what am I doing right now?
Brandon
Top 1% of all vaginas.
Dan
I also read. I also read that word down there.
Brandon
Oh, my God.
Dan
Did anyone else.
Brandon
Now, Kate, we can't force you to take this test.
Kate
Well, actually, I want to own up to something. I have the results here. I did take the test. And you guys still be my friends if I tell you this. Yeah, I'm only in the 99th percent.
Brandon
You're still on Dean's list.
Kate
Yeah, I only have almost.
Brandon
What was the flaw ever. Humongous.
Kate
One of pets here.
Kyle
The odor.
TJ
Cavernous.
Brandon
It's medically humongous. Obese.
Dan
That's where I had to stop because I read that as jardinero.
Brandon
I knew you would.
Dan
And I was like, wait, I'm reading a report and some garbage items.
Brandon
You would be disappointed if you have that.
Dan
Oh, she's got no journey.
Kate
I got hoagie dip in mine.
Dan
Humongous.
TJ
She's.
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
Medically humongous.
Dan
Medically. Medically Enormous. Your was drafted on Traits.
TJ
Got a toolsy.
Dan
It's a 400 pound. Yeah.
Kate
San Francisco Harbor Shockers. Shonkers. When my jumps on a pier.
Brandon
What pier? White Sox day.
Kate
Walked right into that one.
Dan
What. What's up with that Chonkers guy?
Kate
The seal.
Dana
Big boy.
Dan
Big boy.
Kate
A big boy.
Dan
He's a big boy.
TJ
You going to correct her? I said he was a seal earlier. And you, you, you.
Dana
Oh, you said. She said seal.
TJ
Yeah, it's.
Dana
See, it's a sea line, but that's.
Dan
Well, actually, where is he? This guy?
Brandon
Where is he?
Nick
He looks like a potato, but now he's pushing him.
Kate
He's dominating everybody.
Brandon
Is he the alpha or is he just fat?
Dana
And he's got his comfy spot up there on the dock character this morning. Chalkers. We should hire him.
Brandon
Yeah, we need.
Dana
Oh, should hire Chalkers. Imagine sit in the cave.
Kate
Barstool. Chalker sitting in the cave.
Dan
Sit in the cage. Cave and lose parlays.
Brandon
That would be such a nuisance.
Nick
Eating popcorn.
Dan
Oh, yeah, imagine that. This guy's. This guy's the man.
Dana
He doesn't like the Premier League, but hell, it's on.
Nick
Oh, we're doing tennis today.
Dana
All right, I'll watch.
Dan
Blutman has to kindly ask Chonkers what he wants to watch. A change of tv.
Nick
Chunkers knows ball.
Dana
Do you think there's a chance that guy that did the. The report on his wife. Do you think there's like a little bit of a chance he might actually have like a huge breakthrough with all these experiments? Is there a chance like 100 years from now he's thought of as like a brilliant mind and science that like
Brandon
cracks some code, or is it not the biggest chance? I don't think.
Dan
I think.
Nick
I'm under the impression it's all fake.
Dana
Oh, I like that idea that he's like.
Nick
That reeks of like now he's just trolling.
Kate
Like him and his wife sold a testing kit that like, Wink Wink's gonna tell you if I have a really good one, I'm buying it.
Dan
Yeah, but how much so does he sell the kid?
Dana
He's basically good.
Dan
I'll buy it.
Dana
He's just doing experiments on himself.
Dan
Well, and also.
Dana
But just kind of.
Brandon
He's getting himself like straight A's.
TJ
Right?
Dan
Right.
Dana
That's true.
Dan
That's the point. Kate has a hundred percent. She's 100 percentile. Right, right. How many people are actually using the test?
Dana
Whose test?
Brandon
What's right. If she's the only one that's taking
Nick
the test, making up fake tests.
Dan
There's like one other chick named Marge who's 20.
Brandon
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Dan
Yeah. Poor Marge. She's just like, yeah, my stinks.
Dana
Smell that from around the corner.
Dan
But then Kate's got a. A decent. Don't.
TJ
Yeah.
Dan
Don't get me wrong. Pussy's pretty good.
Kate
Yeah, but it's interlock with a guy once
Dan
my Roger Bannister take of like look. Yeah, Kate's pretty good. Yeah, but have we tested all the pussies?
TJ
Yeah. Now we're breaking four minute around the
Brandon
world probably doesn't want people to test because there's. There's always a better right.
Dan
Well, not statistically. Kate's is the best.
Brandon
Right.
TJ
Right now there could be other 100%.
Nick
And do we.
TJ
Who do.
Nick
Kate is.
Dan
I don't think she's right there.
Kate
She commented on his post.
Dan
Is she hot?
Kate
I commented on that post.
Dan
Wait, I want to see.
Kate
Seems to be. She then replied to him with.
TJ
You commented on that post?
Kate
Yes. With the seriousness of oral sex, people forget that a guy with. With wonky teeth can throw off a lady's 100%.
Dan
Hi, everyone. Kate here. I know this seems Unhinged. But oral sex isn't talked about enough. Actually wrong. On this show, it's talked about too much.
TJ
Okay, so yesterday we had Connor Griffin
Dan
getting, you know, skin to the bone.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Nick
It's talked about.
TJ
So he typed this too.
Dan
You think so?
TJ
It looked like it's just.
Dan
Oral sex carries genuine risks. Oh, come on. Yeah, great. The problem is that we don't treat it seriously. We would never skip economy. Go down. What the.
Kate
See, your guys's mouths are the biggest threat to our ph.
Dan
These people
TJ
said it himself. Wait, can we say KP did well.
Nick
Said himself.
Dana
I think you might be right. Kb he's just trolling.
Nick
He has to be like, how is that part of his endeavor to live forever?
Dan
Like, there's a chance this is all winoi. Like the entire thing.
Brandon
Oh, this could be your dad.
TJ
I mean, probably.
Dan
I mean.
Kate
You guys got a floss?
Dan
Are you
Kate
get the water pick?
TJ
I wasn't.
Brandon
Hey, is that why you go to the dentist so much?
Dan
All right, let me think about how I want to say that.
TJ
I wasn't prepared for him to be that ugly or.
Nick
Remember who you are in the face of many.
Dan
Yeah. Show her again. She's. She's fine looking, but is that. Can you have 100?
TJ
No, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't know.
Dan
Okay. Okay.
Dana
I mean, what are. Yeah. What are we doing?
TJ
What?
Dan
She's.
Dana
She's gorgeous.
Brandon
She's a beautiful guy, but she's 100.
Dana
Are we pretending she's not gorgeous?
Dan
She is. But, Mark, you're saying put on the, on the 100.
TJ
You're saying she's being put on moun Rushmore right now. Correct. Is that.
Dan
But like, is she 100?
Brandon
We're talking about two different things.
Dan
Well, no, I mean, it all comes together, the package. Right? You see a pretty.
Brandon
Like, I guarantee your perfect.
Dan
No, but I mean, you get in a. Like a car could look awesome on the outside and be uncomfortable.
TJ
Pretty face ugly is a bad combo.
Dana
Right, but that's, that's all, it's all one. What? You know, that's, that's her asset is her put. You know, she's got a perfect part of the package. You look at her and you're like that
Dan
bumper sticker.
Brandon
That's a pretty good selling point.
Dan
Like a, like my kids in the honor roll. I have a perfect.
TJ
Okay, I'm missing a perfect on board
Kate
microbiome on my bumper.
Dan
Please don't honk. Perfect on board. We don't want to. We don't want to disrupt the. That'd be intimidating to walk around, like, to maintain that. But, like, what happens if you. Like what. What if you, like, get a ball thrown at your.
Brandon
Yeah, right. I'd be walking on eggshells.
Kate
Hit with a hockey pocket.
Brandon
She probably wears some sort of protection, right?
TJ
Like a halo.
Brandon
It's like a cocoa mask.
Dan
Yeah. Did you guys see the guy, the EMT guy, get hit in the nuts in the. In the A's dugout? No, but, like, hard and. And it's just such a guy reaction that, like, he's in immense pain and everyone's just laughing.
Stephen Che
The crowd groan was unforgettable.
Dan
This is a hard hit ball. Oh. Oh, That'll knock the wind out of you. Look at them laughing.
TJ
Knock the wind out of you.
Dan
Oh, and they're all just like.
Nick
That's pretty funny.
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
Oh, that's him.
Dan
It's also. When you lose the EMT guy, what do you.
TJ
Yeah, yeah.
Brandon
Who's to take care of him?
Dan
Start just jerking off.
Nick
I don't know.
Dan
Works.
Brandon
I don't know. Yeah. Is that the test you do?
Nick
Probably the protocol.
Dana
Yeah.
Dan
Is that perfect? Man, I feel like.
TJ
Yes, go on, Kate.
Brandon
Would you be bummed if Pat, like, he was just like, yeah, my ex actually had 100% over me. Yeah.
Kate
Yeah. I'd be pumped.
Dan
Yeah.
Brandon
You're great and all, but my ex had a perfect.
Kate
But good luck with that because what
TJ
if he put out your biome report and you were like, 62?
Kate
That'd be tough.
Nick
What is the score? I regret to inform you my cleanliness,
Brandon
grip
Kate
flap, evenness, symmetry.
Dana
The grip score.
Nick
When. What are they sending to a lab? This guy, what does he do? Is he.
TJ
Is it kind of fucked up that
Dan
they won't show us the pussy? I'm just asking. There's a question. I'm asking a question.
Brandon
Well, where you'd be the type of guy to. You'd zoom and find.
Dan
No, but I'm just saying, like, if I was like, oh, I'm such a sick, like, basketball player, but I never played basketball in front of you.
TJ
But pretty funny. When a scientist makes a breakthrough, like in cancer research, do we say, well, okay, well, show us.
Dan
Yeah, yeah, show us literally what they do. They write a paper.
TJ
Show us the. No, but we say, show us the cancerous tumor in the. Oh, yes, correct.
Dan
Yes, we do say that. Just said yes.
Dana
You're saying this needs to be peer reviewed pussy.
Dan
Correct. I need. I need a bunch of, like, Harvard
Nick
nerds sitting behind as if it is like, correct.
Dana
Peer reviewed, Right. Community noted.
Dan
This is like, anyone could say any pussy is perfect, right? I have a perfect dick according to my studies. I actually can't even say that. Whatever. You know what I'm saying? Like, we need.
Nick
I couldn't.
Dan
There needs to be a. Someone needs to double place for this stuff. Show your work. It's like when you're in middle school, they're like, show your work.
Brandon
I think we'd be let down, but also perfect.
Kate
The beauty is in the eye of. Of the p. Holder, as you say.
Dan
No, we would know.
Kate
Maybe some dudes are a little more into abstract.
Dan
The thing about guys.
Brandon
Oh, yeah.
Dan
Yeah. Think about guys.
Brandon
A fan of Pollock as he puts out cigarettes on it.
Dan
We're like snipers. You show us the melting cl. You show us a perfect pussy downwind, a mile away. We could get it.
Kate
We know it.
Stephen Che
I've got. I've got a question for the group.
TJ
Great.
Dana
Here we go.
Stephen Che
Do you think. Honestly. And there's no way we can take this far than this. Do you think that.
TJ
What? You don't create parameters.
Dan
Yeah. You don't tell us what we're. Who the fuck you think you are?
Stephen Che
Do you think you could identify your partner's In a. Ew.
Nick
Oh, I'm gonna go.
Brandon
I don't want to do this.
Kate
I don't think I could identify my own. No, I don't think I could. If you gave me mine and others.
Brandon
You can identify your own parents on the screen.
Kate
My own. I don't think I could.
Kyle
Yep, that's it.
Dan
No, there's no way you could. You could if you just lined up a bunch of small dicks. You could trick me because.
Kate
How much are you reading?
Brandon
You couldn't identify your dick. Yeah.
Dan
If you. If you got. If you got the same size, I'd be like, I think that's mine also.
Kate
You guys have something easier to look at. We got. It's not like.
Dan
I'm not like, oh, do that, Kate. You guys always go spread eagle in
TJ
front of the mirror.
Nick
Look at the.
Dan
Yeah, you do.
Brandon
We have, like.
Kate
You do a check every day after I had babies. They were like, you should take a mirror and check it. And I was like, absolutely the not.
Dana
Oh, my.
Kate
No, I don't want to know what that thing looks like. It gone to my head 10 in front of me. I probably would get.
Kyle
It's fogging up. Do you think you could. Stephen, take your time.
TJ
Yeah.
Stephen Che
Could I identify my own dick? Absolutely.
Kyle
No.
TJ
Your. Your.
Dan
Your partner's. Partner's.
Stephen Che
I think so. 70. 78% confidence.
Dan
Okay, 78. That's good.
Stephen Che
If. If we're doing like 10. 10 total.
Kyle
Well, I guess we can't.
Stephen Che
My dick, though. I could definitely pick that thing out of a line of like 100.
TJ
Yeah, I think we could all pick yours out of the line because that he couldn't.
Dan
I'm saying they were intentionally trying to like, it was a trick question kind of thing. If they're intentionally trying to make me confused, I would get confused. Obviously.
Kate
I just did.
Dan
Like out of this group.
TJ
I would get zaz dick.
Dan
Yep. And I'd get chase deck Tituses too.
Brandon
Yeah.
Dan
So big.
Stephen Che
You just gotta look for the long blonde hair for yours, brother.
TJ
True me.
Dan
Too many pubes.
TJ
Yeah, it's not blonde.
Dan
We should do that.
TJ
What color? It's more. More brunette, I guess.
Dan
I'll tell you what. If you did all of our dicks in Kate's, I'd be able to be
Brandon
like, that's Kate's, dude.
Kate
That's what you think.
TJ
I'm down to these.
Brandon
What if I picked out your dick for Kate? We're still talking about it.
Dan
We've got deeper. We're now. We're now like a step away from all of us showing each other our dicks.
Nick
Oh, man. What did Kate say?
Kyle
We all said our answers now I
Kate
couldn't pick mine out of a lineup. Yeah, I don't think. We don't. And Lady Akron's. Tell me, are we looking at our vaginas or not?
Dan
100.
Kate
Especially after you.
TJ
Why are you telling them they're looking at their own.
Dan
What about when you do your pillow fights? Naked pillow fights.
TJ
That's true.
Dan
Yeah.
Kate
That's a mystery like to keep. I don't want to know. Cuz in my mind it is perfect. But what if it's not?
TJ
So I. I have my wheel proposal.
Dan
Sure. Great.
Nick
Low expectations, Brandon.
Dan
Deliver insanely low.
Kate
We already predicted what you were going to say when you tried to leave the show the first time.
TJ
I went and got him a biscuit.
Dan
I know. And then we predicted it.
TJ
What did you predict? I was going to say.
Dan
All right. I have.
TJ
I have.
Dan
I have my wheel proposal. What if.
Kate
Or.
Dan
Or we just didn't do it.
Nick
Brandon. That better not be Brandon.
Brandon
Stun. Here's your chance back to the drawing board.
Nick
If you have to sit up, give us something.
TJ
I guess we keep the same amount of dries because dry just means nothing that for that day. So same amount of dries. We have one special event slice on the wheel. Currently it is draft. All Right. We spend a couple of weeks, eventually we hit a draft. And then the next Friday we do a draft. And after draft gets hit, it rolls over the next special event like KB's Wild. With KB's Wild Hit, we roll over to Plinko and then we roll over to maybe case rate, I don't know.
Dan
Okay, but where, where's the wet?
TJ
There's more. Okay, so we have the special. One special event so that every time we hit on that, the audience gets something they want anyway.
Dan
Love that.
TJ
They're going to get the draft. They're gonna get a KB's wild, they're gonna get a Plinko, they're gonna get all these things.
Dan
Love that.
TJ
But only one of those on the wheel at one time. Yeah. If draft hits, it goes to the back of the line.
Dan
Got it.
TJ
Okay. There's three eliminators on this wheel. There's. There, there, there's. There's the draft for special event and there's three eliminators. Fart eliminator, I believe universally stays on the wheel.
Dan
Correct.
TJ
I think half court shot eliminator is a good eliminator.
Dan
I like that.
TJ
And then third, I couldn't come up with a good third eliminator. What I came up with was solo show, last 10 minutes. Solo show, last 10 minutes.
Kate
Wow.
Joe
Wet.
TJ
No. Oh, no.
Dan
So nowhere.
TJ
No, no wet. No, no wet. What's not funny?
Dan
I'm really confused.
TJ
What's not funny? Everybody leaves except for one person who does the last 10 minutes solo. And maybe they involve the chat. I don't know if you have a better eliminator than that. You can tell me. Three eliminators, an event and a bunch of dries.
Dan
Or wet.
Brandon
What about. Oh, I have your back.
TJ
Okay. Do you have a better Eliminate.
Brandon
Oh, shit. Fuck. We could also get wet.
Dan
I like this idea. I do think though, we should do what we were saying where it's just final wet forever.
TJ
That's just wet for here on out. Because we're not all gonna get.
Dan
No, we will. No, once you get wet, you're done, you're gone.
TJ
Right. But you're off. That's another two years of wet.
Dan
Yeah, I know that's. But that would be fun to see. Like, oh, you want one last ride?
Dana
One last ride.
Dan
You got to send it out the right way.
Dana
One last ride, Brandon.
Dan
You only have to get but then wet one more time.
Dana
You almost want it to happen today. Get it over with and then you're done. You'll never have to get wet again.
Dan
Then everyone else has the pressure. It actually is like. Or there it is.
Kate
Or.
TJ
Or we don't do that because wet's not funny.
Dana
But it's not about being funny. It's about.
Brandon
I'm with you, Brandon.
TJ
This show should be about being funny.
Dan
I think perfect.
TJ
I think my. My, My way has a couple eliminators that they can see us fart if they want to see us fart.
Brandon
And a good show, they get a
TJ
good show out of it. And all they. All they're trading us is wet.
Dan
Okay, I like your idea, but I. I feel like. Tj, why don't you put up for a chat vote? Should we do the final wet idea?
TJ
My God. Well, that's.
Dana
Brian, we should do one final.
TJ
Why would you do that vote? That's going to be 100. Yes.
Dan
You don't know that, Chad.
TJ
You know you agree with me about wet not being funny.
Dan
I think it might be funny for them because we hate it.
TJ
I hate it.
Dan
Well, you hate it.
Brandon
Everybody should hate it.
TJ
You hate it. You hate it. You hate it. I don't know about you. You hate it.
Brandon
Danny's never been wet.
Kyle
Can't relate.
Nick
I like party games and Scattergories. No.
TJ
Okay.
Nick
I like Celebrity Guesser. I like games like that.
Dana
We haven't done salad bowl.
Brandon
Salad bowl.
Kate
We haven't done anything.
TJ
But that salad bowl could into the special. Special events wheel.
Dana
Yeah, I like games.
TJ
Okay, well, we'll add more games.
Nick
Should we play some games with implications?
Dana
We should stop.
Dan
Can we play salad bowl?
Nick
Which one is Salad Friday? Is that like a charade?
TJ
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do it. Let's do it tomorrow.
Dan
I'm out tomorrow, but we can do. You guys can do it tomorrow.
Nick
And I like when we have final wet state.
TJ
So.
Dan
You were wrong, Brandon.
Brandon
No, look, it's going down.
TJ
You were wrong.
Dan
You said 100.
Dana
We could do it. Doesn't have to be either or. It's both. Let's do your proposal. But.
TJ
Yeah, well, my proposal is not wet anymore.
Dan
No, no. Or final wet.
TJ
But final wet just means every individual gets a final wet. So wet is just here forever.
Dana
It's not final wet.
TJ
There's 10 of us.
Dan
It's not here forever, I think.
Dana
But then once you get wet, it's over. Granted, I hate the wet wheel, too, but like doing it one more time as a goodbye.
Dan
Literally, you just have to get wet.
Dana
Show. You got. You got to write the character off the show.
TJ
You guys are right. Let's do it for 10 more years. That's not what we're saying it'll be funny in 2027. It'll be fun.
Dan
You have to do it one more time, Brandon.
TJ
Individually, one more time.
Dan
Correct.
TJ
As a group, we'd have to do it 10 more times.
Dan
But you. But once it happens, you're done. You're free. You're.
TJ
Why don't we just be free now?
Dana
What's the.
TJ
What's stupid?
Dan
Yeah, but you got to say bye.
TJ
Or we don't.
Dana
But it hits dry so often and nothing happens.
Dan
Correct.
Dana
So what? So someone going and walking up in the shower one last time is not replacing the entirety of the show. It's replacing correct. Nothing happening.
Dan
Nothing.
TJ
The next time. You sons of.
Dana
You're not using your brain, Brandon. I hate the wet wheel as well. I do not want to get wet. I can do it for one more time.
Dan
We're just saying one more goodbye. We're saying goodbye.
Brandon
Is it going to be an eliminate. Is it the driest or is it just gonna be one person wet?
Dan
No, it's. You do it. If it hits, you do it. If, say you get wet, you are now off the wet wheel forever.
Dana
Forever.
Brandon
You're signing up to getting wet one more time.
Dan
Correct.
Dana
One more time. That's all you have to do.
Dan
No. One single more time.
Kyle
You'd actually be excited to get wet
Brandon
because, Brandon, you don't have to do it.
TJ
Right?
Brandon
What if you get a pass?
Dan
Or.
Kate
Or.
TJ
Or we acknowledge it's not funny and just do other stuff that could be funny.
Dan
Well, we are going to do the other stuff that will be funny.
TJ
Right. And we could come up with something to replace wet.
Dan
But also as a group, say goodbye
Brandon
and it's been five years. We don't have the ability to think of anything better.
TJ
No, but I'm offering everyone that opportunity.
Brandon
I. I'm with you.
TJ
He's with me. Stop making eye contact with him when he says he's with me. Stop making eye contact with him when he's with me. Make eye contact with me.
Brandon
Let's just do one more and let's do it. Let's do it right now.
Dan
No, we're not getting. We're going now.
TJ
It's fine. Let's get back to pussy talk, I guess. Yep. All right.
Dan
Yeah.
Brandon
That was more comfortable to dry or
TJ
Brandon, or.
Brandon
That was a good idea.
TJ
Thank you. I didn't even hardly listen to.
Dan
It's a really good idea. No, I loved your idea.
TJ
Don't you like putting an event on the wheel? Because we.
Dan
Oh, big time.
TJ
Oh, fellow Friday could be on the
Dan
way oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dana
We're doing all that. I love that.
Dan
That's all. Yeah.
TJ
All right.
Dana
Well, this is the best of both worlds.
TJ
Yeah, it really is. What if we just do the best of a new world?
Dan
No, we're saying goodbye to the old world and saying hello to the new world.
TJ
It's going to take us trans two years to say goodbye.
Dan
You keep. You're getting hung up on the two years. It doesn't really matter.
Kyle
Don't worry about everyone else.
TJ
But this isn't getting rid of it at all.
Joe
That event spot can also join the the wheel until wet leaves. You know what I'm saying? Like, we.
Dan
Yeah, yeah. No, no, I'm saying we changed the wheel right now where the events are on there.
TJ
Well, draft is.
Dan
Draft is first. Yeah, yeah. And then final wet. That looks great.
Joe
But then you also want half quarter eliminator.
Dan
No, no, that's when.
Dana
No, there's one eliminator.
Dan
Yeah, one eliminator.
Dana
One. Or should we change it from far
Joe
because we just did fart.
Dan
Yeah, it'd be half court eliminator Fart.
Stephen Che
I believe you said once a month cap.
Dan
That's right.
Joe
Yes, because we had it two days in a row.
Dan
Yeah, that's right. That was a problem.
Dana
Yeah.
Dan
Yeah. We'll just back and forth between half court eliminator and.
Dana
And do you want Yug to stay?
Dan
Brandon, you want to get Yug off?
TJ
So I think yug is. Is funny when it's available. But Dana. Dana's not here all the time.
Dan
Yeah, I got an idea for Yug. What if we change yug to. You have to yug out of the shower faucet.
TJ
What if I kick you in the chair?
Brandon
I see that being funny.
Dan
Or we get rid of wet. Just yog out of the shower faucet for like, 15 seconds with your clothes on.
Dana
It's pretty good.
Dan
Never been done.
Dana
Hey, Stefan.
Dan
Hey, Stefan. What's up?
TJ
What's up, homie?
Kate
Not even acknowledging.
Dan
All right, Stefan.
Dana
See you.
Dan
Stefan. Stefan.
Brandon
I talked to Stefan this morning.
TJ
What?
Brandon
And I said, when was the last time you took a vacation? And he says, I don't touch the stuff.
TJ
Step Man 7.
Brandon
Thank you for everything, Stefan.
Kate
Yesterday at the event, he told somebody else that he was on the headset with the talk like a man.
Dan
No weapon. Stefan.
Kate
Two of us heard it and we were giggling.
Dan
No, Stefan. No, we're not. No, we're not.
TJ
We are.
Dan
Why is he going back and forth for that 5D? What is he doing?
TJ
Where's he going now?
Joe
He's Coming to me.
TJ
He's coming. Oh, Stephan.
Dan
So mad at me. Roback. Roback Activewear.
Brandon
Tell him never mind when he gets. Yeah.
Dan
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Nick
Hell of an ad read, Dan.
Dan
Thank you. What's up, dude?
Nick
Oh, just living life. How are you?
TJ
Good.
Dan
You don't do vacations?
Brandon
Flow yak day today.
Dan
You don't do vacations?
Nick
Not when there's work to be done.
Dan
There we go.
TJ
I'm taking like six this year.
Dan
When?
TJ
I don't know.
Brandon
When are you sending your gal to Portugal, Brandon?
TJ
In mid May. Thank you, Stefan. You do too.
Brandon
Yeah, you do, Stefan. Take one. Book one.
TJ
Take a family vacation together. Me and you. The wives.
Brandon
If you're paying.
TJ
Oh, I wasn't prepared for that answer.
Brandon
Oh, my God. Brandon, do it.
Nick
Oh, you're down at. You're down a house right now, right?
TJ
Yeah, I'm down a house.
Nick
He is.
TJ
I'm fighting. I'm fighting a house behind right now.
Brandon
Every athlete, every person's dream is to buy their mom a house.
TJ
Yeah.
Brandon
And you did it.
TJ
And I live. I live that for. For an entire November.
Brandon
All right, guys.
Dana
Thanks, Stefan.
Dan
You demand.
Brandon
Stefan, somebody tweeted us a really good point.
Dan
What?
Brandon
What does dry mean on the wheel? If there's no wet?
TJ
It just means nothing. Means nothing.
Brandon
Yeah, so those have to go too.
TJ
No, no, sunshine. We got to have a nothing.
Dan
You didn't think about that, Brandon.
TJ
No, I. I said in my original, dry is just represents. Nothing means that. Okay, well, we spend again the next day. That's fine.
Kyle
Or we have to get extra dry.
Brandon
What if there's just a much less. There's way less odds of getting wet. What if it goes to the wet smaller wheel? It's like a one in a hundred chance. No, you're right.
TJ
You're right.
Brandon
No, you're right. You're like My best friend Brandon.
Dana
Say it.
Dan
What about. What about? All right, what about instead of getting physically wet, you have to smoke pcp?
Brandon
That's fine. That's fine.
Dana
Say it. Hit him with it. Hit him with it.
Dan
Or he did the word.
TJ
Or we. We don't do that at all and just go forward with funny ideas. My. My ideas here aren't even all that funny, but they leave room. We can, we can substitute any funny idea anytime you want to. That's not wet.
Dan
I don't like the disclaimer you put
Kate
at the end
TJ
because the first funny idea is you're gonna have is wet.
Dan
Cuz it makes you so mad. Like that's the part you just cannot comprehend that if you weren't so mad, I probably would agree.
TJ
But if I weren't so mad, I wouldn't be mad, right?
Dan
And I'd be like, oh, this is lame.
Brandon
What about we all wet is up.
Dan
Steven's got something. Oh no, he's got his finger up.
Stephen Che
I have a theory on this.
Dan
Okay.
Stephen Che
Brandon hasn't been to his card shop in quite a long time. He misses bartering. This is what he's doing here.
TJ
Wow.
Stephen Che
He's trying to get the best deal bartering. And he doesn't have anybody to deal with anymore.
Dan
Is that true? Are you bartering with us right now?
TJ
So I woke up one day after my kerfuffle at. At the card shop and just had no desire anymore to go collect things.
Brandon
Wait, you're just done?
TJ
I haven't been in like a month, so I don't know. I don't know how to get the desire back. He even texted me yesterday. He said, do you want this? And I didn't answer. I don't even answer. Yeah, so I'm like, I think just weeks and weeks of you guys beating me down emotionally and making fun of me for this very innocuous habit that I enjoyed has finally gotten it out of me where I don't want to do it anymore.
Dan
Oh, that's a little history.
Brandon
You're blaming it on us.
TJ
In what way?
Brandon
Yeah, Steve, that sold the thing that was in your box, save for you.
Dan
No, and also you're. That's revisionist history.
TJ
And in what way was it revised?
Dan
Because the actual act of collecting is cool. And we agree with that. It's the fact that you then would just put it in a pile at home that was not displayed.
TJ
No, I don't. I put in a pile here. I put in a pile. And mostly I put in a pile everywhere.
Dan
You beat your Addiction display of it is what. What bothered me.
Brandon
What was the last thing you purchased
Dan
that's on display?
TJ
Probably a Tony Gwynn signed poster.
Dan
And where did you put it?
TJ
It's on my wall in my. In my basement. On your wall? On my wall.
Brandon
It's not leaning.
Dan
Hanging.
TJ
Hanging on my wall. Tommy's at school right now. Or otherwise.
Dan
Hanging on your wall.
TJ
Hanging on my wall.
Brandon
So do you think that was just the last thing you needed? Is there something about a Tony Gwynn
Dan
poster that put the whole room together?
TJ
If you'll give me 20 minutes and my wife enough time to get the Ace hardware and buy some nail of it.
Dan
Hanging on my.
TJ
On my wall.
Brandon
What about wet is just a general term for a punishment. If it lands on you, you have to do your punishment that you chose for yourself.
TJ
So that's just name wheel you're doing or.
Dan
No. What if we do wet is just a punishment and we all choose a punishment for each other?
Dana
Mm.
Dan
So like Brandon, I'll choose wet.
Brandon
Titus has to sleep over at somebody's house.
Dan
Yeah.
Dana
Oh, God.
Brandon
Titus has to go to the beach.
Dana
Oh, God, no.
Dan
Or. Hey, did it again.
TJ
We just recraft the wheel right now.
Dan
Yeah, we recrafted it.
Nick
We.
Dan
Already.
TJ
You're recrafting by the old. With the old material and the old stuff.
Dan
There's one old thing on there.
TJ
You're repurposing all the old. You're just. You've torn down a house and you're using the same material to build back the new house.
Dana
What's the pull at now, tj?
Dan
I would actually say it's different.
Joe
It's ended.
Dan
We tore down the house.
Dana
80%.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yeah.
Dan
We kept the foundation.
TJ
We didn't even tear it down.
Dan
No, we can't.
TJ
We took one shingle off the roof. What are you talking about?
Dana
So fuck the 80%. I. You know, just. Yeah, them. Is that. Is that the message?
TJ
And you guys knew what?
Dana
Is that the message we're sending?
TJ
Yeah.
Dan
I like to listen to the people.
Brandon
I'm with you, Brandon.
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
Thank you, Nick.
Brandon
You the man.
Dana
One more time. Brandon in it, you know, someone. Song someone said to me. And it stopped me in my tracks. It just floored me. My baby's not even one year old yet. And someone said, you will pick up your child for the last time and you won't even know it.
Dan
Yeah.
Dana
You won't even know it's happening. Oh, the last time you hold your baby, you're. It'll be the last time and you won't Even know it. What if you had the opportunity to know that was the last time? How much would you savor that y. How much if you knew as you're picking up your child, you're saying to yourself, oh, my God, this will be the last set. This is it. You would favor the whole thing.
TJ
You're comparing.
Dana
And we have that opportunity now right in front of us, Brandon.
TJ
You're comparing your human offspring that you created with. With the love of your life, this great child. You created this child. You're comparing that to walking our fat asses up the stairs and standing under a shower for 10 seconds.
Dana
The wet will's been in my life longer than my child.
Dan
Oh, fuck.
Dana
So, I mean, wow.
Brandon
Wow.
Dan
Wow.
Dana
Something to think about.
Nick
Wow.
Brandon
I'm with you, Mark.
TJ
Wow.
Brandon
I'm malleable.
Dana
As you're gonna miss, like, gold, maybe.
TJ
All right.
Dan
No, I can't stop thinking about gold.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Gold.
Brandon
Oh, you're looking like you bought gold.
Nick
Did I buy gold?
Brandon
Did you buy gold yesterday?
Nick
Not technically,
TJ
but
Nick
yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just, like, sad.
Dan
Yeah, but what? I don't know.
Nick
I'm sorry.
TJ
It's okay.
Nick
Yeah, keep going.
Brandon
All right.
Dan
Okay. Sorry.
TJ
Something happened.
Nick
Oh, it's gone too far.
Dan
Like, what happens when you try to remove us? Nick.
Dana
Nick.
Dan
Why?
Dana
Why?
Dan
Why did you.
Brandon
How was that my fault?
Dan
You asked question.
Brandon
I didn't know he was sad. Yeah, but you asked him. He was being quiet, but he got all. He got all meek when we were.
Nick
Sorry.
Dan
Nick did that to you?
Nick
Gone.
Dana
That was crazy. Crazy.
Dan
I apologize.
Kate
Dude.
Dan
Nick. A real dick thing to do.
Kyle
You whispered in my ear. Watch this.
Brandon
Yeah, I did. I should have done that.
Dan
Wow. I don't know. I've never seen Nick be like that before.
TJ
I apologize. It was really weird.
Nick
Me on me.
Dan
Yeah.
Brandon
No, I crossed a line.
Nick
I had nothing to say. I didn't know what would be funny response to if I bought gold. And then I just.
Brandon
You sold it so well that you were actually sad.
Nick
And I did that, and it was too much.
TJ
So where are we now?
Nick
I was just experimenting with our emotions. No, I was gonna see, like, what? Like, I wanted to make the response great, and I just had nothing. I didn't want to be like, yeah,
Dana
yeah, I bought gold.
Dan
You hit the sad button on us.
Nick
Yeah, and I did it really well.
Brandon
Yeah. Your voice cracked.
Nick
I thought they were comfortable.
Kate
My heart stopped.
Nick
I hate. I hated.
Brandon
I thought you were about to, like, drop something.
Dan
Yeah, like, super sad. Your cats okay?
Nick
Yeah, everything's good.
Dan
Okay.
Nick
Good morning. Good day.
TJ
Still engaged.
Nick
Very good.
TJ
Good.
Nick
Yeah.
TJ
All right.
Kyle
Wow.
Nick
Like the what? Yeah, that was weird.
Dan
You just put us through a roller.
Nick
No idea. I hated that. I wanted to say something like funnier, interesting, but I.
TJ
You defaulted sad.
Dan
Yeah. Sad and like in a Very convincing.
Nick
I know.
TJ
Very fucking convinced.
Dan
Like, super convincing.
Kyle
I know.
TJ
Kate was freaking out.
Kate
I was.
Nick
I was freaking out.
Kyle
I felt myself turn pain.
Nick
Like, the next time that happens, just say something like, what if you were
Brandon
actually sad and being.
Nick
I know I would never do that on. On camera.
Dan
Oh, I still think you might be sad.
Dana
Were you hot? Were you sad?
Nick
And now it's been like, yeah, now he's coming. It's been a phenomenal last couple months for my. My mental health.
Kate
Okay.
TJ
I've. All right.
Brandon
Damn.
TJ
Why is it so dark in here?
Brandon
It is really dark.
Dan
I like it. Yeah, it kind of looks.
Kate
What is that for?
Brandon
Represents Kyle's mood.
Joe
Looks like they're shooting something for Family Feud over by the scoreboard.
TJ
Did somebody hit Steve Harvey with a D's Nuts joke?
Dan
Yeah, lady did.
Dana
See this?
Dan
It was good.
Brandon
Wait, how'd Steve react?
Dan
It was really good.
TJ
I didn't watch it. I just saw it was on our prep sheet for mostly we never got
Dan
to was really good.
TJ
When does. Do we know when our Family Feud airs at all?
Dan
No.
TJ
Okay.
Kate
I don't know how that turned out and I don't want to know. I'm gonna be surprised on the actual.
TJ
They're Dave's doing the recording on the 16th. He said that publicly, correct?
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
Yeah. Okay.
Dana
So I imagine it's going to come out before then.
TJ
I would imagine.
Dana
Yeah.
Dan
Fill in the blank with one word blank nuts.
Dana
These.
Dan
Fill in the blank.
TJ
You still got it.
Kate
You said em. He's good.
Nick
Is this recent?
TJ
That's a good answer.
Nick
That also it would be the.
Dana
The number one answer.
Kate
Absolutely.
Dana
But that's what they do this show.
Dan
They.
Dana
They. They say, then you say it and then they pretend to be shock.
TJ
She's off to a good start.
Kyle
Oh, yikes.
Kate
And still no word on who they're going up against.
TJ
I don't know that we.
Dan
I don't think. I don't think so.
Kate
Okay.
Dan
What's this? What's this Chase confused with why Mikey Betts talking so fast in a clip? What is that?
Nick
That made the list very confused.
Dana
Oh yeah.
Kyle
Danny, new show drop yesterday. Tune in every Wednesday, 7pm Che, I think he just will it sped up live so we couldn't do live yesterday because of the soccer. But I. I'm trying to push maybe we don't go live first couple weeks.
Dan
Yeah, no, I'm, I'm a heavy. I was like, Mikey Betts told me this idea. I was like, yeah, go do it. Do whatever idea you want. But maybe a dump button or like, yeah, lay. And he's like, well, Deutsch is producing like, whoa.
Kyle
Okay, so for now it's voicemails. The numbers out there.
Dan
What is the, what's the issue here?
Kyle
He's Mike. I think Mikey was just speeding it up because it was too long and people don't have attention spans anymore.
Brandon
And it's an unnamed caller looking for some career advice. Hey, this message is for Mikey Betts.
TJ
This is John Delicious. Figured I would show some love.
Dan
I'll let you guys go. You have to be as motivated as
Joe
possible and get wake up every day and just make sure you stay on the same.
Stephen Che
I couldn't stop looking at my phone.
Joe
I remember I was doing it for three years. I was working for free.
Dana
Sped up.
Dan
Yeah.
Joe
God damn, this is never gonna work.
Dan
The words never gonna get like, this is only one word a time.
Kyle
He made clips before where he would speed it up if the clip.
Dan
Oh, he is.
Brandon
To shorten the clip. Oh, is that the trend?
Stephen Che
Yes.
Nick
A lot of people are just doing that with their videos, speeding them up
Kyle
to adjust to people attention span.
Dan
I've gotten to. I can't watch anything at one.
Kyle
Yeah.
Nick
I'm noticing like a lot of young men are like doing it like really exaggeratedly. Like they're speeding it up and then slowing it down.
Joe
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
Nick
I think they're insecure about their voice.
Kate
Yeah.
Kyle
Because then you have people like Hoopa5 who's talking slower, like, what's up everybody?
Brandon
Oh, he slowed it down.
Kyle
Well, that's just his normal talking voice. He slows it down in real life.
Kate
Well, I know too. The app will tell you as you're editing, it's like if you go over one minute, we're not going to push it on the algorithm. So then people will either cut it or lengthen it to hit like certain timestamps so it gets pushed by the. I don't know.
Kyle
I don't like that. Long form should come back.
Brandon
I like long form stuff.
Nick
Everything's gamified and optimized for views and money and then. Yeah.
Brandon
Is that the state of the industry?
Nick
The death of creativity? But I think things change. Things change so rapidly.
TJ
They do.
Kyle
I think the one that's pissed me off the most so far, the trend is like, could you Believe what she did in this clip. And it's a completely normal clip.
Donnie
Oh yeah.
Kyle
No one doing anything absurd. It's just so you get a bunch of comments being like, did I miss it?
Nick
Yeah.
Dan
Context please. Yeah. Yeah.
Brandon
Vague posting.
Dana
Yeah. We all. We all know which one doesn't belong.
Dan
Yep. Always.
Dana
There's one imposter in this group and we all know who it is.
Nick
And there's like.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yeah.
Nick
Problems. I saw Che just answer them.
Dan
He does.
Brandon
I'm going crazy on the math problem.
Dan
Those are like you got any wrong?
Nick
You're falling for.
Brandon
It's like only a genius can answer. And then I just see Chase hitting 17 with like a period. Like you somehow you're straight up. Numbers are coming across.
Dan
So it's literally just Pemdas every time. Yeah. They're just trying to get you to up on. On Pemdas.
Stephen Che
They'll skip. Like I. I don't even. Yeah.
Brandon
It's like pattern recognition. Right. 106. There you go to your replies. How you do that daily.
Dan
Yeah.
Stephen Che
I've been on a kick the past couple weeks. They just started coming to my feed. And they're all fun. They're all like bot accounts too.
Nick
Big time.
Brandon
3 but like why are you get the answer?
Dan
Why do you.
Brandon
Why do you tweet it back?
Stephen Che
It's just the love of the game. What the heck?
TJ
Oh what?
Stephen Che
No. TJ was making fun of me. It's just for the love of the game. I don't do it for any.
Dan
You just trying to stay sharp.
Brandon
You're not trying to go viral with that three.
Stephen Che
No.
Dana
Ebay was a letdown.
Dan
Also.
Brandon
Wait, you tried to buy gold? Steve?
Stephen Che
I looked into it. Ebay. Terrible. Absolute wasteland.
Dan
Did you put a Dana suite?
TJ
Can I? Yeah, let's see that. But the guy yesterday told us make sure you get a reputable dealer. Make sure you put the utmost care into choosing your dealer. And your ass went to ebay.
Stephen Che
So I buy. I like to peruse ebay. I spend a decent amount of time on ebay. I'm familiar with it. Obviously I'd look for like a good seller. You can tell if someone's a good seller, power seller, etc. But I just wanted to see what the market was. Are there a lot on ebay? Are there not a lot. I don't if some people are sending me like MP AMX or something website. Like I don't know how to do that. Like let me just see the marketplace that I'm familiar with. Do they have it? Total wasteland. So I asked the people, and a lot of them refer me to that site. Another place that people referred.
Dan
Costco.
TJ
Costco.
Brandon
Oh, I saw that. Costco has a lot of gold.
TJ
Yeah.
Dan
Where Costco has everything. The gold aisle.
TJ
Wire.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon
You just have a gold aisle.
TJ
They got it because of the jeans. All right, all right, sorry. Now, what was Dana's tweet?
Brandon
Hey, do you want to go on a gold run with me after this?
TJ
You going gold?
Stephen Che
Oh, I would like to.
Brandon
I wouldn't mind going to get some gold.
Dan
Whoa.
Dana
What did you just. Whoa.
Stephen Che
That's much cheaper.
Dan
What?
TJ
But that's a very smaller.
Stephen Che
Yeah, but what? All right, whatever. I mean, yeah, the one ounce.
Joe
This would also probably change pretty, pretty daily with market value of gold.
Brandon
Limit of two.
Stephen Che
Yeah, because. Yeah, we looked up, it was like 4600.
Dan
So this could be the whole picture.
TJ
Okay, okay, okay.
Dana
All right.
Dan
No, Dana just, like, made an announcement, and I think he just realized that, like, he's been taking Ozempic. Is he just not describing what Ozempic? I don't know what Ozempic like, makes you, but is he not. He's just basically like, yeah, I got an announcement. I don't like French fries anymore. Dude, you're on Ozempic.
TJ
Yeah,
Dan
Yeah, I read that.
Brandon
I was just like, well, does Ozempic make you crave?
Dan
I have no idea. But I'm saying, like, doesn't that make sense that he's just not.
Dana
His appetite suppressor has killed my app.
Dan
This bold announcer. I was like, but you're taking Ozempic.
Brandon
But he chalked it up to he's had too many French fries to where he doesn't like them anymore. Is that what that was?
Dan
I feel like if he went off Ozempic, he would like the French fries.
Brandon
I feel like he would. Yeah.
Kate
Yes.
Brandon
He's been regularly taking it.
Dan
I think so.
Brandon
Yesterday at soccer, he was eating.
Dan
Dude. I had to tell him. I was like, just slow down.
Brandon
No cameras on him.
Dan
He was. Every time I looked, he was eating or drinking something.
Kate
Yes.
Dan
He had smoothies. He was eating just everything green.
Brandon
Drake had five slushies.
Nick
Greg had five to six.
Kyle
And he was very self conscious about it.
Nick
He didn't know people were counting.
Brandon
Everybody was independently counting.
Dana
And then your eyes off of that. If you see Greg with a flush, of course you're counting.
TJ
Yeah.
Kyle
Deutsch said Greg denied it, but then the Blutmans admitted that they both had three already. So then Greg told the truth. He's like, all right, yeah, I have had like four or five, who cares?
Brandon
But every time I looked at Dana, it was a vastly different. Cool meal.
Dan
Yeah. He just didn't stop.
Kate
I walked up big. I walked up to the booth and said to you guys. I was like, did you notice every. Like, everybody noticed because every time you looked at Dana, he was in the same spot but with a different food.
Dan
I was like, dude, just breathe a little. Just take a breath.
Brandon
Wait, you told him to relax?
Dan
Yeah. No, I said. I said chew. Put it down for a minute, dude.
Nick
It's fascinating watching this firm graze and feed like, firm. They treat it like an Easter egg hunt. Like, every piece of snack in their eyesight, they have to pick it up and then reward themselves.
TJ
I was eating the whole time, too.
Dan
What?
Brandon
Yeah.
TJ
Yeah, but that's. Yeah.
Dan
They were also handing you food.
TJ
Correct.
Dan
You didn't have to go up and be like, all right, another smoothie.
TJ
Yeah, he did have, like. It seemed like he had food. Dana had food that didn't belong there at all. Right. I looked over one time. I thought he was eating a turkey leg.
Dan
He was finding food. He's finding food under the chairs that had been there for a while. It's like a rat. Oh, man. That was fun, though.
TJ
I can't wait.
Kate
That was really fun. It went by quickly.
Dan
Yeah.
Brandon
Green. Greg has really made himself. He's one of, like, the boys. He was very comfy leading Chance.
TJ
I want to. I don't want to risk any spoilers, but can I see your leg, Kyle? Oh, I was going to say, that was nasty.
Nick
Oh, Spoiled.
TJ
Oh, yeah.
Nick
KB got turf burn.
Brandon
You've bled the last two competitions.
Nick
Yeah.
TJ
All out.
Nick
Like, it was so painful in the shower.
Dan
Oh.
TJ
Oh, yeah. That's rough.
Brandon
The suds I haven't had. Oh, getting suds.
Nick
Suds in my burn.
Brandon
Oh, I don't think about getting less
Nick
sudsy or you're ripping and strangling the shower neck. Moaning.
Brandon
You shouldn't have said so much.
Nick
I had to clean it, I think.
Brandon
Okay.
Dan
Did you guys. Did you guys read this JP Morgan article? That's quite a doozy.
Nick
No, they're doing.
Dana
Oh, whatever.
TJ
Sex life.
Dan
Yeah, it's not.
Kate
I'd be a little wary.
Dana
Fill me in.
Kate
I don't know any lady that calls cannons.
Dan
Hell of a. What? Women don't call cannons.
Brandon
She. You don't call.
TJ
You don't call.
Kate
No. Well, maybe.
Brandon
Oh, if you call. Yeah, we would have to.
TJ
Right?
Brandon
Stop that.
Kate
Never mind. But I. I would.
Dan
You think it's fake?
Kyle
Is that what made you think it was fake? That she called.
Kate
No, no.
Dan
But JP Morgan executive allegedly used her power to sexually harass and abuse a junior male employee, drugging him, subjecting him to racial abuse and threatening his career. It was in depth, though.
Nick
Yeah.
Kyle
If Daily Mail reports it, I don't feel ashamed for thinking it's real.
Dana
Yeah, that's pretty.
Dan
What made you think it was fake?
Kate
Because I saw an article that JP Morgan did their own super in depth research and he refused the complaint. Complaint or whatever. Refused to like work with them and show them any evidence. Any actual.
Dan
Like a sex slave. Oh, yeah, we're spiking and there's some.
Dana
The details are juicy.
Dan
Oh, there's some heavy racism in there too. Yeah.
Kate
Some of the thoughts I saw was like he got caught cheating and now and like panicked crazy.
Dan
I don't know.
Kate
But it could be. I don't know. I don't know.
Dan
One of those.
Kate
It's hard to tell what's re. Like what? I don't know.
Dana
Yeah.
Kate
What's real and what's not.
Dan
It was hot. I mean, it was. Some of the details were.
Nick
That was the woman who was doing it.
Dan
Twice. Doe claims that Hyjini proposition for oral twice. That's Frank. On one occasion asking birthday BJ for the brown boy. My little brown boy. While Doe claims he continued to resist her advances, Genie allegedly threatened professional. You're not gonna. You're gonna need to earn it. My little Arab boy toy. Doe alleges she told him during a work social event or private members club. During the same event, he claimed she repeatedly groped his groin under the table and spat in her hands, running them over his neck and head. Is that.
TJ
Huh?
Kate
I mean the.
Dan
That's head. Head or head.
TJ
A neck.
Donnie
Neck.
Kyle
Neck.
Dan
Neck or neck?
Kyle
Neck.
Dan
Neck.
Donnie
Yeah.
Dan
I don't know. They get wild at those.
Kate
That is true.
Dan
While we're eating.
Kate
That's true.
Dan
Yeah. We're grazing and putting ourselves to early death. They're just giving birthday BJ's for the brown boys.
Dana
This company.
Dan
Your wife doesn't have these cannons. She owned him and his little Asian
Dana
fish head wife doesn't have that.
Dan
Again, I'm not in the girl boss own you. I'll make you pay. Do you think you're gonna be standing if you do not. Don't. Do not have me in your corner. You really think management wants some brown boy Indian leading organizations?
Nick
This seems so ridiculous that it's fake. But if it's real, she needs slaughtered.
Kate
Yeah.
Nick
That's hideous.
Kate
Yeah.
Kyle
I like out of all those things that were said Kate was.
Brandon
Yeah, cannons is.
Kate
I've said some weird stuff. Cannons.
Kyle
What do you call them?
Kate
Ski slopes?
Brandon
Oh, yeah.
Kate
They're real flat. And then at the bottom, they kind of.
Kyle
You don't have to explain the answer.
Kate
Shut out things have actually to describe them like an avalanche.
Dan
Dana's at Chili's right now. A spider. Wait, about right.
Brandon
I think I like fries again.
Stephen Che
That is an ad deal. In their defense.
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
I mean, yeah, but it is funny. Dana's a chili.
Dan
Yeah, he's a chili spider.
Kate
Those. They brought the mozzarella sticks in the other, what, last week?
Dan
Yeah.
Kate
I could have eaten a thousand of them. They're good.
Brandon
It was in the middle of the beach house recap and you pulled.
Stephen Che
You did a cheese pool and everybody
Brandon
turned to look at you instead of watching what was going on in beach house.
Kate
Yep, that's right. I got a good cheese pool.
Nick
You could eat nine.
Kate
Oh, thank you, Kyle.
Nick
I'm challenging you. Oh, I bet you couldn't eat 12.
Kate
Oh, yeah.
Dana
Yeah.
TJ
There we go. Yeah, there we go.
Kyle
How many do you think you could eat now?
Kate
You guys are fucking with me. I think I could eat nine, not 12. It depends.
TJ
If you get to nine, you get to 12.
Kate
If I was out late at the bars and I got to Chili's and that was all they were giving me, then, yes, I think I could.
TJ
You need to have a little bit of beer in you. Is that what you're saying?
Brandon
Yeah. If you eat 12, Kyle will go to a pottery class with you in Pilsen.
Kate
Really?
TJ
That was the most disappointed. Yeah, his heart sank.
Kate
You know, I would love that, right? Like, really? I would.
Brandon
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Kate
I want you guys to come on the tea about town bus as well.
Brandon
You could bring your own wine to the pottery class, too.
Kate
Really?
TJ
Yeah.
Kate
Billson's got some cool stuff.
Dan
Oh, yeah.
Kate
We could go to the free bookstore.
Brandon
Christ almighty.
Kate
Murals.
Kyle
Has to be wine.
Dana
Kyle's gonna bring bottles of his 12 does seem now he's actually sick.
Nick
12 seems low, but I.
Brandon
12 is so many mozzarellas to eat.
Nick
And I almost don't think you could do it.
Kate
Would you be behind me or me behind you at the pottery wheel?
Brandon
Oh, for. Like a ghost scene?
Kate
Yeah.
Nick
Why would that. Why would we have to do that? One person has to be behind the
Kate
other person for fun. Just a guide. Just a guide.
TJ
Kate, you just. He told you pottery, and then you immediately ripped off, like, tea. What'd you rip off right there? You said tea room or something else. Oh, you said go somewhere else.
Kate
It parks. Do you see the big pink bus down the street here?
TJ
Yeah.
Kate
We could walk to it as a team.
TJ
Are you just sitting there with date ideas for the rest?
Kate
For all of us? So many. I still have to take steps. Jeff and Jersey Jerry birding.
Brandon
Do they want to go?
Kate
No.
Brandon
Okay. Yeah. What you do is you make a lot of plans for things that'll never happen.
Kate
I already talked to the birding guy with mantra speech.
TJ
Like, intricate plans, like itinerary plans, like, down to the minute. This is when we're gonna go have tea. This is where. When we're gonna go pottery class.
Kate
TJ Put. Put the T bus on the wheel.
Brandon
T bus. No, I did the spooky speakeasy tour. Five hours.
Kate
Five hours.
Brandon
It went faster. It felt like four.
Dana
T bus is just a bus that serves tea.
TJ
Is that right?
Kate
Yeah. You've seen it, right?
Dan
Yeah.
Brandon
What's it do?
Kate
See about town, you get really dressed up like you're going to British tea, and then you get on the bus and you drink tea.
TJ
But none of us want to do this.
Kate
And it has, like, little sandwiches and it has little like, why do I
Brandon
have to be on a bus?
Dana
How does the bus enhance.
Kate
It's a big pink bus.
TJ
Or we could just get wet or. There we go.
Dan
Yeah.
Kate
Boys. I did it. None of that was genuine by me.
Brandon
Kate, order 12 mozzarella sticks right now.
Stephen Che
I don't think you can E12.
Dan
They come order some.
Stephen Che
They come in small, which is three shareable, which is six. These are like fat mozzarellas.
TJ
Sounds like you just ordered two sharables.
Stephen Che
That's how much it.
Brandon
Yeah.
Kate
All I know is three the other day, and I was still hungry for more.
Dana
One sharable, two smalls.
Kate
Now, this has mixed reviews. I've been watching some tik toks where things often go very.
TJ
You're really selling how ar.
Brandon
Yeah.
Dan
You're drinking hot liquid in your house
Kate
and it's in cities around the country and things. It goes viral the most because things.
TJ
Oh, wrong. Didn't they dump their. On a bunch of people?
Brandon
That was right. That was the tea about.
Kate
Anyway, it's parked. It's always parked, like, two blocks from here.
TJ
Everything is two blocks from here.
Dan
Well, Brandon, I got a question for you.
TJ
Oh, God.
Dan
Are you. Has it crossed your mind that we are potentially and I don't think it's going to happen, but potentially in a very funny situation depending on how a couple basketball games go this weekend.
TJ
As far as you finally. I told. I said this morning, but I really need LeBron to win one of these next two years.
Dan
Oh, man, would that be funny. We're gonna have a toxic conversation.
TJ
But you know what? You know, I view any take I give between January and September as just reps for college football.
Dan
Where your takes are great.
TJ
Yeah. Where my take. No, no. But that's when I'm really in the m. Everything I say is just spat back at me in rapid fashion. So when somebody spits something back at me in, like, May, I'm like, okay, let's. Let's play around a little bit.
Dan
But you coming out as a LeBron fan, finally.
TJ
Yeah. After 20 years of being a LeBron fan.
Dan
20 years, and then him possibly blowing up. Historic lead, never been done in the NBA.
TJ
Would be something, wouldn't it?
Dan
It would be something.
TJ
It would be something.
Dan
And I'm sure the toxic, toxic conversation.
TJ
The conversations will be measured and very, very mature.
Brandon
But I'm sure if anybody else made that take, it wouldn't be thrown in there the same.
TJ
I'm not a thrower of a take. You just came out as a LeBron Friday night.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yeah.
TJ
After 23 years of being a LeBron,
Brandon
were you nervous to send that tweet off?
TJ
No, I think I got in one of those grooves where you just want to tweet eight times in nine minutes.
Dan
Yeah. One of those groups.
TJ
And it happens every now and then. It's a Friday night. I'm like, I got some things to say. Bang, bang, bang, bang. And then I was sitting at the Mississippi State baseball game, and I was. It was. It was a boring inning, and I was just, all right, I'm going to rip these. That's how that went.
Dana
Got to get some off.
Dan
Not enough people were recognizing you.
Dana
I'm finally.
TJ
Oh, no, that wasn't the case.
Dana
I'm brave enough to say it.
TJ
Do you need to watch the video again?
Brandon
Didn't Mincy get a chant when he went back once?
TJ
I don't think so.
Dan
He did.
TJ
I don't think so. No. That's not something that happened.
Dan
I got something else. I need a. I need help from a Pittsburgh gag.
Kate
Decker.
Dan
Okay. Did you guys see that? They are. Maybe you can pull it up. Tj they're selling the couches they used in the green room for the NFL draft.
Brandon
This year's couches.
Kate
Yeah, I saw that.
Brandon
So that's just a pretty new house.
TJ
Let me stop you there.
Dan
I need one back.
TJ
You don't need one.
Dan
I need one bad.
Nick
Is it branded as NFL?
Dana
Are they interesting?
Dan
Could be like, oh, yeah, this is like pick number 25's moment. I need one bad.
Brandon
You want me to call my boy Sock?
TJ
But here's also.
Dan
Here's the thing. I called already. They don't. They won't ship it. So I need someone to go pick it up.
Brandon
I've got my boy Sock to go get it.
Dan
Yeah.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yeah.
Dan
Okay. We need one bad. Think about.
Nick
It's not something we need.
TJ
This is just a standard.
Nick
That's just a regular couch.
TJ
That's not even a nice couch.
Dan
That could be a couch that ties Simpson's first cousin saddle.
Brandon
Yeah, that's cool.
Stephen Che
Those are very reasonably priced.
Dan
Thank you.
Stephen Che
Are we sure those are. We sure those are game you.
Dan
Thank you. CSA game?
TJ
You can never make fun of me for collecting anything.
Dan
No, because I'm collecting things that you can use.
TJ
A couch that you're gonna put in. It's gonna be in storage back there.
Dan
No, it won't be sat on.
TJ
You're pissing on the trough.
Dan
I just pissed in the trough.
TJ
Yeah, you're pissing on the trough. We're not even using the trough. We're just pissing in it.
Brandon
I just reached out.
TJ
What do you mean?
Dan
That's what you use it for.
TJ
I know there's.
Dan
Nebraska's also selling troughs. I'm. My goal is to make this place more trough than a whole office.
Brandon
My boy Boots can go get it now.
Dan
Okay. Tell him.
TJ
Wait. PayPal time. Time. You have a guy named Boots and Sock?
Brandon
I have Boots and Sock, yeah. Wow. Yeah, I guess.
TJ
Do they know each other?
Brandon
No.
Dan
Boots, Tony, go right now and zoom in.
Brandon
Boots. His name's Zach.
Dan
We can pick one out.
Brandon
But he. We call him Boots because he wore boots. 1.
TJ
Damn, they're all the same.
Dan
No, no, no, no, Brandon.
TJ
They're all the same.
Dan
Look, they got some kind of paper on it. Maybe it says who sat on.
TJ
Those aren't even good chairs.
Stephen Che
We can pick out the player.
Dan
Oh.
Dana
Whoa.
Dan
Oh, yes. Yes, you can. Wow. What?
TJ
Does that say something? No, that just says something, love. See?
Nick
All right.
Stephen Che
Idiots to not buy this.
Dana
Should we draft?
Dan
Yes.
Dana
Thank you.
Dan
Thank you.
Stephen Che
Steven, this is so underpriced, it's insane.
Dan
Insane. Steven, you want one? I'll buy you one.
TJ
Yeah? Yeah.
Stephen Che
Actually, I need an end table for my bedroom.
Brandon
Oh, Chae, that'll be so cool.
TJ
You don't need an end table from the NFL draft.
Dan
Can we get you to.
Dana
There.
TJ
There, right?
Dan
Can we get someone there?
Brandon
Somebody there now?
Dan
All right, let's go.
Brandon
All right, Swissvale.
Nick
We want this. You want a white couch, Brandon, You.
Joe
You sleep on a couch every day.
Nick
You can't use a white couch.
Dan
What do you mean?
Nick
You can't spit on them again.
Dan
You're Arville Reese's grandmother. Might have sat on one of those.
Brandon
That's cool.
Dana
You just threw it over in the corner.
Dan
No, no, Brandon's not allowed to sit on this. He's a poo pooer. You can sit on it.
TJ
They're just white couches, dude. They're not even nice.
Dan
400 couches in the green room of the NFL draft.
TJ
I would have expected NFL to have nicer couches.
Dana
What player do you want? Should you do a draft of. Yeah, the players.
Dan
I mean, if we can get him in.
TJ
Noza Lemon.
Dana
Well, he wasn't there.
Dan
Oh, yeah, he wasn't there. Maybe.
Brandon
Hey, what are you. What are you doing?
Nick
Ephesians pry.
Brandon
Sock, can you drop what you're doing and go pick up a couch in Pittsburgh for Big Cat? You know he doesn't have a truck. Does your dad have a truck? Does Boots have a truck? Buy him a truck, because Boots is just right.
TJ
Oh, this is Sock.
Brandon
No, this is Joe. All right, we need to get a couch draft. They're selling them. Can you rent a truck for us?
Dana
Menards? 20 bucks.
Dan
Maybe a stool. He can just go there right now and just.
Brandon
Yeah, he can go get it.
TJ
Yeah, Joe.
Brandon
It's Joe.
Dan
You have PayPal.
Brandon
You have PayPal.
TJ
Joe,
Brandon
there's something from the NFL draft, and you could pick out what player sat on it.
Dan
We think. We think we need you to zoom in from there.
Brandon
Yeah, you can go get it.
Dan
Okay.
TJ
All right.
Nick
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll send them over.
Brandon
Yeah, we'll send them over.
Dan
Over.
Kate
Should we call and make sure they still have couches left? Because I bet even.
Dana
Call.
Brandon
Yes.
Nick
Steven, call them up.
Brandon
Yeah, we just need to get couches for the draft.
Dan
Ask if we pick the player.
Brandon
They won't ship it. They need. You need to pick it up. So then you just have to come out here after that, or I'll tell.
Dan
I'll pay for you to ship it.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon
Yeah. All right, I'll text you.
TJ
Stephen, you getting the Reuben bang couch, Whatever he's adding?
Stephen Che
Yeah, we got.
Dan
Yeah, I'd be sick. I feel like, Stephen, you and I are just on the same wavelength. No one else is. Just like, this is.
Stephen Che
This is an insane deal.
Dan
It's insane deal. It's an insane.
Nick
Do you think it should be worth more because of the players that sat on it?
Brandon
Yeah, it's a used couch.
Dan
The NFL draft Dude, it was sat
Stephen Che
on once by someone on the biggest night of their life.
Brandon
Yeah, that's cool, Steve.
Dan
That's history.
Nick
I don't think it is.
Kate
And I bet those couches is probably like 500 bucks or more.
TJ
I just. I just feel I'll get on board with this. But you can't make fun of my collectible.
Dan
Yes, I can. I'm you. My collectibles are very specifically their. Their utility.
Brandon
But will that go in the back?
TJ
I have a Michael Jordan newspaper machine.
Brandon
That's what?
TJ
A Michael Jordan newspaper.
Dan
And you've made newspapers?
TJ
No, it's a national sports daily newspaper machine with Michael Jordan on it.
Dan
Okay, but I'm saying you're in Pittsburgh. All of my. All of my collectibles are usable.
Brandon
You want to talk to Boots?
Dan
Yeah, sure. Let me touch Boots. Well, no, I don't even know where this is. You talk to Boots.
Brandon
I don't know.
Dan
He's in Pittsburgh.
TJ
Talk to Boots.
Dana
We got to talk to Boots.
TJ
Boots. It's in Switzvale.
Dan
Boots. What's up, dude? Hey, do you think you go pick up a couch for me in Swissvale? Yeah, in Swissvale, they have the NFL draft couches from the green room. Possibly.
TJ
Wow.
Dan
Like, asap. Asap.
Nick
Well, maybe Tell him what's in it for him.
Dan
I'll pay you.
TJ
I'll.
Dan
I'll send you. I. It's like there are two seaters. They're one seaters. Do you have a. Do you have a truck or not? Go. He's got a Jeep.
Brandon
That could work.
Dan
That could. I think it could fit in a Jeep.
TJ
Wait, 100% cannot.
Brandon
Let's let him struggle.
TJ
Okay. Nothing fits in the Jeep.
Dan
Do you. Are you close to Swissvale? Oh, that's too far. All right, we'll find someone else. I appreciate your help, though. All right. Okay. No, you're good. You're good. All right, later.
Brandon
Where's help?
TJ
If.
Dan
If someone watching right now can get there and prove it and dm. Stephen. Che. We'll have you zoom in. Yeah, there we have a stooly with
Kyle
Stephen on the phone with.
Brandon
Where's Swiss Fail?
Kate
I've never heard of Couch Place.
Nick
That's right. That's a pretty neighborhood.
Dan
I think it was 45 minutes Jewish
Nick
or maybe not Jewish.
Dan
So it was 45 minutes away.
TJ
Oh, that's not.
Kate
That's not.
Dan
No, but the show. I want to. I want to pick it out on the show.
TJ
What's the. What's your finger for? Tj.
Dan
Tj.
TJ
Tj. Tj.
Dan
Old.
Stephen Che
We got. We got A manager of the store coming on.
TJ
Hold on.
Dan
Oh, yeah.
Stephen Che
I had to clear him to make sure.
Dan
This is exciting. I. I need more excitement out of you guys.
TJ
I think this is Brandon.
Dana
We need a new couch for our studio.
TJ
Yeah, if you're biased, Juan, I guess we'll be happy.
Dan
An NFL draft. You want it now?
Brandon
You really are are broken.
TJ
I am broken.
Brandon
Is that something I thought you'd pounce on?
TJ
No.
Dana
Y'.
Stephen Che
All.
TJ
Y' all beat it out of me.
Brandon
Who the Dolphins take?
TJ
I don't want anything. The offensive tackle, Kaden Proctor. Yeah, let's get it.
Brandon
That'll be so sick
Dan
in it.
TJ
I don't even want Kaden Proctor's couch. Y' all beat it out of me. It took y' all six months, but you finally got it. Now I don't want anything.
Dan
And it has nothing to do with the fact that you took a bath on your mom's house. You don't have disposable phones to go buy stuff. Stuff
TJ
maybe.
Nick
Tj, can you pull up the random celebrity generator now? I just want to test something.
TJ
Oh, okay.
Brandon
Oh, Brandon, Somebody also sent a good wet idea.
TJ
Is it wet?
Brandon
No.
TJ
Okay.
Brandon
Every time you leave the yak wet, a slice of wet gets added to the wheel.
Dana
Oh, I like that. That seems fair.
TJ
No.
Brandon
So we start with zero go or no.
TJ
Cuz I have to pee a lot here. You want me to pee in that clear bottle? I don't want you to put my dick in that clear bottle. On camera.
Kyle
No, just turn around.
Dan
Steven. Your DMS are open.
TJ
Right in the clear bottle.
Joe
On the phone with the manager right now.
Dan
Okay.
Joe
They don't want to talk on her.
Dan
What you got, Kyle?
Joe
They removed moved duplicates.
Nick
Just click it a few times.
TJ
Are you guessing or.
Brandon
I was.
Nick
Just kick click it a couple more times.
Brandon
Okay. Okay.
Nick
Okay, I'm ready.
Brandon
You're gonna get it.
Nick
No teeth. Oh, no teeth.
Brandon
Balding.
Kate
Damn bangs.
TJ
What?
Dan
That's teeth.
Nick
That was teeth.
Dan
Oh.
Nick
Mustache.
Dan
Dui. Oh, maybe. I don't think so.
TJ
Black.
Dan
Oh.
Dana
Oh, close.
Kate
Blonde lady.
Brandon
Okay.
Nick
Yeah.
Dan
Boobs.
Brandon
Dead. Damn. Me. Toodles.
Dan
No.
TJ
Better not be.
Brandon
No, there's no way.
TJ
Yes, Steven.
Stephen Che
All right, they weren't allowed to talk about that in over the phone or like on the air. But I did get some info. So there were rugs and heaters also. Those sold out almost instantly.
Nick
The rugs and heaters sold out instantly.
Stephen Che
Rugs and heaters sold out almost instantly. You have to pick it all up. He said you cannot pick the player. However, you're picking this up in store. They can't ship it. You can go up to what piece of furniture you want and from the snapshot I saw, I thought it said the name of the player.
Dan
Does it not?
Stephen Che
I thought it did.
Dan
Are your DMS open, Steven?
Stephen Che
Yes.
Dan
So if some. If a stoolie gets there and. And hits you up and proves her there, we can have him zoom in.
Stephen Che
Yeah, that'd be great.
Dan
Okay, now we wait.
Stephen Che
So it's in.
Dan
I like that. Keep going.
Stephen Che
Did we say the name of the town?
TJ
It's in Swissvale.
Stephen Che
Okay.
TJ
Yep.
Stephen Che
Oh, we got someone
Dan
ears.
TJ
Oh, no.
Brandon
They won. That's one
Dan
we've seen.
TJ
Oh, no. Duplicates. Yeah.
Dana
What?
Dan
Yeah. What did that. Why didn't I duplicate?
Brandon
I guess if you do more than one celeb, it won't have the same.
Joe
Oh, yeah, that might be it.
Dan
Because you can.
Brandon
Wait. They have animals.
Dan
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dana
Animals.
Dan
Yeah. Yeah, animals. Oh, sweet.
Brandon
We don't stop till we get yak.
Kate
Yeah.
TJ
Otter.
Dan
Oh, damn close.
TJ
Damn close.
Dan
So close. Tree.
Brandon
Frog.
Dan
Zebra.
Dana
These are specific. Butterfly.
TJ
Damn.
Kate
Turtle.
TJ
Raccoon.
Donnie
Hog.
Stephen Che
Reveal.
Dan
Oh.
Kyle
Rat.
Brandon
Snake. Python.
Dan
Elephant.
Kate
Salamander.
TJ
Rhinoceros.
Nick
Dog.
Dana
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dan
If you were Stephen Che, you'd count it. Me, Dog. Pur.
Kate
Dog.
Kyle
I don't know. We have to specify Deer.
Kate
Monkey.
TJ
Kangaroo.
Dana
Is that all the animals?
Kate
That's all the animals.
TJ
Tortoise. Cow. What?
Nick
Cow.
Brandon
I thought he was talking to you.
Nick
A lot of people say I like that.
Dana
Hippopotamus.
Brandon
Wait, you can Wait.
Dan
Cat names.
Joe
Cat name.
Brandon
Yeah, let's do it by cat names.
Kate
Kiki, Samantha.
Brandon
These are just regular Bandit.
Dana
Spot.
Brandon
Yeah. Fluffy, Garfield, Whiskers.
Dana
What the.
TJ
Rebecca Boots.
Brandon
There's no cat name.
Kate
Rebecca Thomas.
TJ
Sock.
Kyle
Sylvester, Scooter.
TJ
Beth, Joe Button.
Brandon
Cat named Beth. You're damn good. Taste great.
Dana
Thanks, guys.
Dan
Damn.
Brandon
They've really upgraded the site addresses.
TJ
What is that, zip codes?
Brandon
No, Kyle.
Dan
Emails. What the.
Nick
Really good you came up with this.
TJ
What is. Oh, I like us Cities.
Brandon
Show me. Show me an email,
Dan
Man.
Nick
How long would it take?
Dan
Forever.
Brandon
The rest of our life.
Kate
Heroin. Heroin at.
Nick
@&t.com.
Dan
Tour. Gu.
Brandon
Big Mike. Hotmail.
Dan
What the. Why do they have all this New York address?
Joe
There's numbers.
Brandon
Okay.
Dan
We gotta taste the numbers. Okay.
TJ
Oh, no.
Stephen Che
Yeah.
Nick
Yeah.
Joe
Do you want. Where do you want your max to be? 10,000. That seems like a lot.
TJ
I'll make it like a thousand. What are the odds of that?
Dan
One in a thousand. That's Rutgers, folks.
Kate
283.
Brandon
It might be more than that.
TJ
771.
Brandon
3.
Dan
How could it be more than that. Your guess for one in a thousand is one in a thousand.
Kyle
941.
Brandon
But it's one in a thousand every time.
TJ
But it never gets better. Yes.
Brandon
Right.
Dana
12.
Dan
But every guess is one in a thousand. Right?
Kate
14.
Dana
Yeah.
Joe
Every guess is actually two.
TJ
96.
Dan
What?
Joe
Everyone's 50. Either get it or you don't.
Brandon
There we go.
Dan
All right.
Brandon
This is horrible.
Kyle
401.
Dan
Let's. You know what? Let's. Let's start with 101 to 100 again.
Kate
I'm thinking of the people checking us out from that.
Brandon
Wait, tj do it out of two and let's see if.
Dan
Okay. Yeah.
Brandon
Steven and Kate, you go first.
Dan
Yeah. Let's go for a streak.
Brandon
Okay.
Joe
I think Tate should do this coin flip. You have to go 10 times in a row.
Brandon
Yeah, do like that.
Joe
Take forever.
Nick
Okay.
Dan
All right.
Joe
One or two?
Dan
One. Nope.
Brandon
You suck, dude.
Dan
All right, go.
Brandon
Two.
Dan
Nope. Can we get five in a row?
Dana
One.
Joe
Nope.
TJ
Oh, damn, Titus, you saw one.
Dana
This is tough off.
Dan
No,
TJ
wait.
Dana
That's four in a row.
Brandon
All right,
Dan
you got to get this wrong. Get this wrong.
Kyle
2.
Dana
Winner.
Brandon
Too good.
Dan
One. Y. Yeah. All right, so we'll get this next one.
Brandon
One.
TJ
Yep.
Kyle
Is this streak of three right in a row?
Dan
It's two. Two in a row, right?
Kyle
I got it. Oh, yeah.
Brandon
I got it right.
Kyle
But that was wrong.
Brandon
Your right was wrong.
Dana
Three in a row.
TJ
Someone starts a new streak.
Dan
No, we got two right in a row.
Brandon
When we were trying to get right, he was trying to get wrong.
TJ
But he got it right. But he got it right.
Dan
Come on. Who's up?
Dana
Two.
Dan
Yes. That's three.
Kate
One.
Dan
No,
Brandon
Kyle.
Dana
Kyle, you have to.
Nick
Two.
TJ
Brandon.
Kate
Damn, he's good.
TJ
Two.
Dan
Oh, man, you ruin everyone.
Brandon
You have to go get wet.
TJ
Y' all got five.
Dana
God damn it, Brandon.
Dan
We're really talking some good stuff.
Dana
That was fun.
TJ
I do want to circle back and do us cities at some point.
Dan
We could do it right now.
Brandon
What do you do with your leg?
TJ
I don't know. My heel itches and I'm trying to scratch it by knocking it on the ground.
Dan
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Kate
Delicious.
Dan
Stephen, we got anyone?
Stephen Che
Yes.
Dan
Oh, send him the zoom.
Stephen Che
Well, he has to get there. He's 20 minutes away. Okay, someone in Edgewood.
Dana
Okay, now we wait.
TJ
Oh, oh.
Stephen Che
Now we wait.
Dan
Brandon Sheboygan.
Kate
That was on my mind too, for some reason.
Dana
Portland, Maine.
Kate
So it's doing small cities.
Brandon
Dayton.
Dan
This is Sacramento.
Kate
Terre Haute.
Dan
Why did you say small cities? None of these have been small.
TJ
You said
Dan
you were so wrong about the small cities.
Brandon
Would you be willing to go to the next one? We refresh.
TJ
Okay, so we did this a couple years ago. It came up Boise. Me and Tommy never went. Tommy wants to go somewhere this year. I will say the third city that comes up, me and Tommy will go to by the end of June.
Dan
Okay.
TJ
All right, so this is with one veto.
Dan
Okay, so. So we're hitting 1, 2, 3rd city.
TJ
All right, 1, 2, 3rd City. All right, one with one veto.
Dan
Here's one.
TJ
Maybe more.
Dan
Two. Okay, this.
TJ
This is where me and Tommy are going.
Brandon
One veto.
TJ
Okay.
Dana
Oh, Brandon, are you serious?
Kate
Disneyland bad.
Brandon
You got to take Tommy to Disney.
Kate
There's cool mountain range there.
TJ
There's like, Tommy's a Disney kid.
Dan
All right, use your veto.
Brandon
Tommy's gonna see you pass up on Disney to go to this next one.
Dan
If you use your veto, you gotta go 1, 2, 3 again.
Kyle
Crazy veto.
Brandon
No, no, no asking. No asking him about Disney.
Dana
You know, your son.
Dan
Let's see what the veto would have been.
TJ
Well, then, hold on. No, the video's still on the table.
Dan
Okay.
TJ
Yeah. So, Brandon, use the veto. You don't.
Dan
Well, let's use. Let's just do a practice one.
Brandon
You know, sunny it is over there.
Dan
Practice veto. Practice veto.
TJ
All right. But what if it's right? I thought I was going 1, 2, 3. Again.
Dan
Yeah, yeah. All right, so go 1, 2, 3. Practice veto.
TJ
So that was 1, 2, 2. This will be it.
Dan
Practice veto.
TJ
That's fine.
Dan
Finger locking.
Kyle
What are you hoping. Hoping for, Brandon?
TJ
I don't know.
Stephen Che
Chicago.
TJ
Tupelo.
Kate
See, I've never heard of Chandler. Arizona.
TJ
That's where.
Dana
That's. That's good.
TJ
High school football plays.
Nick
Yeah.
Dana
A lot of classifiers.
Nick
Brock Purdy.
Stephen Che
Oh, we may have a guy there now.
Dan
Yes.
TJ
What.
Brandon
Is he on? Zoom.
Stephen Che
Working on it should be next couple minutes.
Brandon
Is your contact photo for Tommy a picture of a chick Fil. A nugget.
TJ
Well, obviously it is, or you would have said it. Why are you in. Are you in class?
Kate
Yeah. One second.
TJ
Do you want to go on vacation? Me and you go vacation to American city this year? Yeah.
Kate
What is it?
TJ
Where do you want to go? Me and you go on a vacation to an American city this year. Where do you want to go? Are you willing to spin a random wheel of cities?
Kyle
Anaheim?
TJ
Yes. Do you like Disney or no?
Kate
Disney?
TJ
Yeah. Not really. I didn't think so. All right, we're gonna spin this wheel three times on third city. Me and you were going there by the end of June. Are you ready?
Kate
Yep.
TJ
All right, let's do it.
Dan
It.
TJ
All right, so one Scottdale. That would have been nice. All right, where is that? Arizona. Don't worry about it. Next one. Chesapeake, Virginia.
Dan
Oh, that have been nice.
Kate
Could have been nice.
TJ
Okay, so here it is. You and I will be going to
Dan
Dallas.
Nick
You would love Dallas.
TJ
Didn't you want to go to Dallas? I said I wanted to go to Austin. But Dallas is fine.
Dan
I don't like how low Tommy's voice is.
TJ
Right.
Kate
He's a real.
Dan
He's a real man now.
TJ
All right, appreciate it. Bye.
Brandon
Use the veto, Brandon.
TJ
I think he was fine. Or maybe we should go to Austin.
Kate
Yeah, that's close enough.
Dan
It's so hot there.
Dana
It's so hot.
Dan
So hot.
Dana
If you're gonna go, you should go now.
Dan
Like, right. Right this.
Dana
Right now.
Kate
Now.
Dan
And you should probably get wet before so that you.
Brandon
Yeah, because it'll cool you off.
Dan
Yeah. Yeah. You gotta get pretty wet.
TJ
It's 39 degrees outside our office right now.
Dan
It is so hot in Austin.
Kate
It's more humid than you'd think. For Texas, too.
Dan
It's so hot.
TJ
I. I would assume anywhere in Texas is humid. Why would I assume nowhere in Texas is humid?
Kate
It's the desert.
TJ
Well, you're west of, like, west. West of Dallas turns into desert. But.
Kate
But I'm not from there. I don't.
TJ
East of east Texas is just Louisiana.
Kate
Surprised.
Brandon
What if the tour group just left
Nick
because of this yak giving them a show?
Kate
You know what?
Dan
You guys suck.
TJ
What if TJ's parents.
Dan
Yeah, they're having the worst time.
Kate
They're guessing numbers.
Dan
Yeah. Stephen, go to. Oh, you know, you're working on something. Say, steven, go talk to them. Just, you know, go become best friends of them. But we got to get this guy on zoom. We're getting ourselves couch boys. Speak now or forever hold your peace if you want a piece of furniture.
Kate
I kind of do. The little white side chairs were nice.
Brandon
Yeah.
Stephen Che
I just want an end table.
Dana
Getting a new couch for the. For our studio brand would be huge.
TJ
It would be.
Dan
Why do you guys need.
TJ
We need bleachers.
Dana
Huh.
Dan
Why do you need a new couch?
Joe
Ebo doesn't like it.
Brandon
Really?
Kyle
I think that's the com Couch.
Brandon
Ebo doesn't like it.
Dan
Evo. Evo. Ebo fits on anything.
TJ
He sinks into my sleep hole.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon
Oh, okay.
Dana
Disappears.
TJ
Yeah.
Dan
Oh, God.
Joe
There was a green couch that was on the court.
Dan
I don't know.
Joe
Remember, it might be from your. The PMT studio.
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
They. They email with that couch.
Joe
He was like, that couch mogs our couch, like, tremendously so. He's got a new couch on the.
Dan
You say the word mog.
Joe
He might have said.
TJ
He says a lot.
Dan
Lot, man. We're getting new couches for the gambling cave. Oh, yeah.
Kate
A little higher up.
Dan
Every first. First game of the season, every year, we're going to get new couches.
TJ
Couch reveal.
Dana
Good.
Dan
Oh, hey. There he is.
Brandon
Beer. That was chili.
Dan
How was Chili's?
TJ
Great.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Got it.
Dan
Dana. Yo. Question.
Kyle
What's up?
Dana (Ozempic user)
I have no idea what I'm walking into here.
Dan
Are you still on ozone Ozempic?
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yes. Three months in your tweet last night.
Dan
I know, I know. Did it just describe the side effects of Ozempic?
Dana (Ozempic user)
No. This has been going on for a while.
Dan
Like, three months.
Stephen Che
No.
TJ
Oh.
Dan
What?
Dana
What?
Dana (Ozempic user)
I. I've lost my luster for fries.
Brandon
Does that make you sad?
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yes.
Brandon
Is it all fries, or. What about curlies or waffles?
Dana (Ozempic user)
I love hash browns.
Dan
What about, like, McDonald's fries? Fries.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I mean, now when I go to McDonald's, I don't order fries anymore.
TJ
What?
Dana (Ozempic user)
I know.
TJ
What.
Dana (Ozempic user)
It sucks.
TJ
How the can you go to McDonald's and order.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I mean, I'll eat them if they're there, but I don't order. Like, if someone else orders them, well,
Dana
then they're always there. It's McDonald's.
TJ
All right.
Dana
If McDonald's has fries, it's tough.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I knew. All right.
TJ
Yeah.
Brandon
Did you take Ozempic yesterday?
Dana (Ozempic user)
No. Today I'm taking it when I get home.
Dan
Yeah, because we could tell you were at the end of your cycle.
Dana (Ozempic user)
No, I'm. You ate so much yesterday, I haven't lost a pound. Well, dude, I know we joke about stronger than Ozempic, but I don't know what's going on.
Dan
I had to Tell you to cool down. I know.
TJ
Maybe stop eating as much.
Brandon
What did you have?
Dana (Ozempic user)
Well, the problem is I'm not eating as much. Yesterday was an outlier. I'm not eating as much.
Dan
How much?
Dana (Ozempic user)
But I'm not losing weight.
Dan
What did you eat yesterday?
Dana (Ozempic user)
God, one of the. I had two donuts, three pieces of pizza, two slushies, like, five Pepsis.
Nick
Donnie's chicken is not a slushy.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Well, it was. What was it? Yes, it was.
Nick
Oh, no, it was brown. It was brown.
Dana (Ozempic user)
No, it was a frozen coffee.
Brandon
Okay.
TJ
Yeah.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I don't know what's going on. I. I.
Dan
Are you pregnant?
Dana (Ozempic user)
No. I feel like I might have, like, a big tumor or something.
Brandon
What? Yeah, that you're eating your tumor.
TJ
That's a leap.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I don't know. Why would I not be Los way. I'm eating way less.
Dan
Are you?
Dana
You just said yesterday doesn't.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yesterday was like, all right, there's a lot of food here. I'm gonna eat it type of day, so.
TJ
But at this company, there's a lot of those days.
Dan
It's pretty much every.
Nick
What did you just do one today?
Dana (Ozempic user)
I didn't. I ate for an ad.
TJ
Are you replaced?
Nick
What did you eat?
Dana (Ozempic user)
I forget what it's called. It was a chicken sandwich, but.
Brandon
Oh, so you just had one bite for the ad?
Dana (Ozempic user)
No, I had, like, four bites.
Brandon
Okay.
Dana (Ozempic user)
A lot of chips. I chipped myself to death.
Dan
Yeah, that happens.
Dana
So you're still like. Are you replacing fries or are you just, like, no side at all? And if you're replacing with chips with Tater Tots.
TJ
Hash browns.
Dana
Hash browns.
Dana (Ozempic user)
It depends what's on the menu. But, like, I would get. Like I said on my tweet, I'd have. I would have coleslaw over fries right
Dan
now, now, if it were up to me.
Dana
Wow.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I know. I don't know. I'm not proud of it.
Dana
That's up.
Dana (Ozempic user)
It sucks.
Dana
Yeah, it's up.
Dana (Ozempic user)
It probably has something to do with the OIC along the lines, like, in over the last couple years, but. Yeah, I'm in a tough spot.
Dana
Boys.
Dan
You look fine. Yeah, you look good.
TJ
I was going to say I thought
Dana (Ozempic user)
you had 275 after. You think it'd be less, right?
Dan
You're going to try to tell us 270?
Kate
No.
Dan
The way you added that five there, felt like you were going, you. Your trial.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I even shaved my face to try and lose, like, a pound.
Dan
No, that's. That's the worst thing you can do.
Dana
I know.
TJ
I don't know if that's a wor.
Dan
Yeah. Shaving your face makes you look fatter.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I was in the 280s at one point, like, LA two years ago, but when I got married, I was 250.
Brandon
Oh, wow.
Dan
Holy.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yeah, it's.
TJ
It's kind of sad.
Dana (Ozempic user)
You know,
Dan
he just kyled us. You guys kyled us?
Brandon
It's all the rage right now.
Nick
No, it's like, Dan and I, we just mentioned we're sad, and then everyone just stares.
Brandon
Well, yeah, because, like, what do you want us to do, right? I don't want to keep the conversation.
TJ
Oh, your voice cracked when you said it. We. We were floored.
Kate
Oh, I saw in your eye.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Me.
Dan
Kyle, I don't think you know what you did. Like, can you play it back, T.J.
Dana
yeah, don't play it back.
TJ
You did that to us.
Kate
Sucked the air out of.
Dan
Dominated us.
Nick
It was like a. I was hoping you guys would say something.
TJ
You're acting like, what did it.
Dan
You.
TJ
You did it to us.
Brandon
Kyle, if you're in our situation, what would you have done?
Nick
Like, kept the conversation going?
TJ
I felt like it would have been
Kyle
rude and wasn't appropriate to joke.
Brandon
What's got you sad?
Dan
Sad Bombed us.
Nick
Yeah. Like, what's wrong? No one said, what's wrong?
Dan
Well, I didn't want to.
Dana
I didn't want to pry.
Dan
Yeah. But I wanted.
TJ
I think I said, what happened.
Dan
Yeah, I think you did.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I'm just getting notifications on my phone from replies from Stephen Shea that he's in the thread with someone on one of my tweets.
Dan
What is it?
Dana (Ozempic user)
You'd trade places with me in a second.
Brandon
Chase said that?
Kate
Yeah.
Dan
Oh, no. Ch.
Brandon
Wait. Let's see the guy.
Dan
Oh, jeez.
Brandon
Steve, are you in the. Are you in the mud right now?
Stephen Che
No. Some guy responded to me being like, I forgot who you are, and then I gave a snippy response. Then he responded, and I said, all right, see, I'm muting you. That's it.
Brandon
Let's see the guy. Let's see if he. He would trade places.
Dan
What is this?
Stephen Che
I don't know. He's got.
Dan
What is the start of this threat? Hold on.
Stephen Che
I don't even know know.
Dan
It's got to be baseball, right?
Stephen Che
Is it?
Dan
I mean, baseball rage. Bait, everyone.
Kyle
It's under one of the math problems.
Dan
Yeah. What's going on, Steven? Okay, so it's the fries. Okay, well, I'm getting this straight. You're moving from a deep fried side dish to a mayonnaise based side dish? Che, I forgot you were Still a thing I never knew you existed and will forget seconds after I hit reply on this. I just figured Dave cut you from all content contents is so pathetic, yet you trade places. Me in a second. Gonna mute you. Have a nice weekend coming up.
Brandon
Yeah, I'm on Team Che here, too. That was unnecessary. Equal.
Kate
Jack. That was weird.
Dana
Lol.
Dan
I'm good, boss. You too. No, you got owned, Jay.
TJ
You.
Dan
But he does work for the NFL.
Brandon
NFL? Wait, yeah.
Dana (Ozempic user)
From the NFL?
Stephen Che
That was a. That was a nothing burger, I think. Like, I didn't do anything super mean.
Brandon
No. Well, no, you're. That was a good response, Steve.
Dan
Thanks. Put him in his place.
Brandon
Defend yourself.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Why did Kyle make everyone cry?
TJ
We don't know. He just did it.
Brandon
He was testing out. He was testing out new things, getting reps. Watch this.
Dan
TJ pulled up. Watch it. And. Oh, we. If we were.
Nick
Nick asked if I, like, bought gold.
Brandon
I was trying to do some improv,
Nick
and I was like. And I was. And I failed at improv. I was like, what. What should I say to that? Because if I said yes, that would suck.
Brandon
You said technically, which had our interest peaked.
Nick
I thought that was a good.
Dan
Yeah, we all.
Nick
I had nothing to go. I had nothing to go off.
Dan
Dropped a bomb.
Dana
Yeah.
Nick
I failed.
Brandon
You bought gold?
Nick
Did I buy gold?
Brandon
Did you buy gold yesterday?
Nick
Not technically. Like, thinking better reply. Yeah, I'm sorry.
Dana
I'm just, like, sad.
Dan
Yeah, but what?
TJ
That one.
Brandon
That voice crack.
Nick
I'm sorry.
TJ
It's okay.
Nick
Yeah, keep going.
Brandon
All right, sorry. What should we have said there?
Dan
I immediately said about what.
Nick
Yeah, I get it.
Kate
Yeah.
Nick
Yeah, it was. That's on me. Yeah. Didn't have it, but it is.
Brandon
It's a good move if you want to get out of a competition. You.
Dan
You hacked how to just stop something.
Nick
No, that did not stop anything.
Dan
Well, it did.
Nick
We're talking about it again.
TJ
Well, you start a new.
Dan
Yeah, you're right. That's true. Good point.
TJ
Yeah.
Dan
Are you sad again?
Nick
It's not sharp.
TJ
You're just.
Nick
Yeah. It's not like. This is like.
Dana
This sucks.
Brandon
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Kate
We lost him. Him.
Dan
Why? See what's going on with him.
Kyle
Is he maybe actually sad? Then try covering.
Kate
I don't know.
Dan
I would hate for him to be actually sad. Pickle, right? He really. He really twisted us good.
Brandon
I don't know what's real and what's fake.
Dan
Yeah.
Dana
I think by staying on it that long, it's going.
Dan
Yeah. He doesn't like what we come back to.
Dana
It's Going to actually make him sad.
Dan
Right.
Dana
He might actually be sad now. Wow.
Brandon
He does let it really get to him when we don't have our best episodes.
TJ
What?
Brandon
Yeah.
Dana
If he would have cares, he. If he would have got Celebrity Guesser, that would have been.
Dan
Yeah, that would have been awesome. We never would have brought sad back.
Dana
I think that's what's got him down, is he just saw it as an
Dan
opportunity to say celebrity Guessers.
Kate
Yeah. How can you do that? That?
Brandon
Tj, can you just pull up another tab? And
Dan
how do we do it?
Joe
Yeah.
Brandon
We can't force him to say anybody. What does the celeb. He would say
Kate
we get the mental phone.
Dana
Yeah.
Dan
How can we rig this?
Dana
How do we get back but not work? If you go to the previous page.
Kyle
Oh, yeah. Can you hit back instead of forward? But we still wouldn't know what he would say.
Brandon
He would say George Powell.
Dana
Oh, no. It doesn't work. Huh.
Stephen Che
I got a guy who owns a moving company in Pittsburgh who can get him to us.
Dan
Is he there right now?
Stephen Che
He's not there. Working on getting someone there right now.
Dan
Yes. Steven, I'm so happy that we're in lockstep here. We're buying a couch from the NFL drafts, Dana. Really? Yeah.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Like a used one?
Dan
Yeah.
Dana (Ozempic user)
What, for the cave?
Dan
It's for the office.
Nick
Nice.
Dan
See? Thank you.
Dana (Ozempic user)
What? People are against that.
Dan
Yeah. They're all like, this is stupid.
Brandon
And they're cheaper than the regular new couch would be. Right?
TJ
Yes.
Kate
That's not big.
Dan
Yeah. Yeah.
Kate
Oh, then that makes sense.
Stephen Che
They are valuing it as a used couch. They're not valuing it as memorabilia.
Brandon
Wow.
Kate
Everybody be normal. Everybody be cool.
TJ
Did you get your couch? Shut up. Oh,
Brandon
yeah. You good?
Nick
Yes.
Brandon
Good. Let's move on.
Nick
Stop the show. Some days we just don't have two hours.
Brandon
I know.
Nick
And we should just.
Dan
We're getting a couch.
Nick
Okay.
TJ
You're getting a couch for the office. Did you get your couch?
Brandon
Brandon, how about we get you out of this slump? How about you?
Dan
We should have played.
Dana
Salad right there the whole time.
Dan
We were right there with salad bowl. Let's just play salad.
Dana
Nick had to ask, did you buy gold?
Dan
Let's play around. A salad bowl, boys.
Dana (Ozempic user)
What's salad bowl?
Dan
Someone reminded me.
Kate
That was a genuine question from him.
Dan
What's give us?
Dana (Ozempic user)
I still don't know what's going on. What is.
TJ
Well, salad ball's long. Let's do something shorter. Celebrity Guesser wasn't.
Dan
Salad bowl's not that long.
TJ
I thought it was.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Brandon, can I get a chicken stick?
Dan
Yeah, of course you can, dude.
Dana
Thanks.
Dan
This guys. We just talk.
TJ
Have one in your hand.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Yeah, well, if you're both going to throw me one, I'm not going to say no.
Dan
Does anyone remember how to play salad bowl?
TJ
Nope.
Dana (Ozempic user)
No.
TJ
It's suggestions in a salad.
Brandon
Is that different than pizza box?
Dan
No, we did salad bowl. What the is?
Brandon
You had to act, you had to talk.
Dan
Yeah, yeah, it's like a prompts, right?
TJ
Yeah, you decide. You decide what?
Brandon
Start with words, then acting, and then.
Dan
You know what? Why don't we.
TJ
It takes 20 minutes to get together.
Dan
Why don't we play the ACT basket?
Nick
Play it tomorrow.
TJ
No, no, let's.
Dan
Let's play yak basketball.
Kate
We were doing okay.
Dan
We were playing the act basketball forever.
Kyle
Have we unveiled the new curling thing ever?
Dan
Oh, yeah. Let's curl.
Brandon
Never use that.
Dan
Let's curl. Danny, go get a. Go get some chairs. Get some PE people. Let's curl. Great call, Danny.
Kate
Oh. See if the gold mug guys want to be curled.
Dan
Yeah. Yes. And the hitchings.
Kate
Yeah, curl. The hitchings.
Dan
Yeah, they want to be curled. Yeah. Oh, no.
TJ
Who are those guys?
Kate
The golden mug dudes.
Dan
Yeah. Is your mom gonna complain about how cold it is in here? Tj, she's simply cold. God damn.
Joe
She's just always cold.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I like these guys.
Dan
All right, spin to see how to playing.
Kate
Cool. Yeah, they have a good cut.
TJ
I just noticed they were just regular white.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Like beer heads.
Brandon
You know, though, like fans of you. These guys look like they love meo. That's what I love about these guys, that they love me.
Dan
Rick and Ebo. Get out here.
Brandon
Beer heads is what you call your fans.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I don't know. I don't have names for them.
Dan
Where is. Is chef Donnie here?
Brandon
Not yet.
Kate
Yet.
Dan
By the way, Mountain Dew. Summer's coming. Can't wait to have an ice cold Mountain dew. Nothing goes better with summer. Sitting by the pool, backyard barbecue, hanging with your friends. And the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee. Been great since 48. Enjoy the refreshing citrus. Kick them out and do an American original. Just think about this. Close your eyes, picture. Go into the cooler, open it up. There's just an ice cold. Ice cold Mountain Dew. You crack it open, sun is beating down on you. Oh, best taste in the world. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew in American original. Grab a dew. Tasting great since 48. We love Mountain Dew.
Kate
Fantastic.
Dan
Do we have the. The penny pennies?
TJ
What pennies?
Dan
For the. For the.
Kate
To make the stones, their colors.
Dan
We gotta find the pennies, too.
Brandon
I'm sad.
Dan
Why? That works. No, you need eight.
Joe
Yeah.
Brandon
Danny, go get people that are working out of their chair.
Dan
Well, no. Tell them they're going to be curled.
Dana
Yeah.
Dana (Ozempic user)
You guys ever fly with a dog?
Dan
No.
TJ
Oh.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I'm going to do it tomorrow for the first time. Scared.
Kate
Oh, people will just be pumped.
TJ
It's. Yours is a little bit.
Dan
Yours a little weird.
Dana (Ozempic user)
What if he's.
Brandon
Yeah,
Dana (Ozempic user)
I know.
Dan
Yeah.
Brandon
That happened to my parents. They took my dog to San Francisco. Six hours. It cried. They said they were.
Dana
Yeah.
Dan
Where are you going?
Dana (Ozempic user)
New York.
Dan
York. Nice.
Kyle
Yeah.
Dana (Ozempic user)
After Wobski.
Kate
That's a quick fight. You'll be good. And I think people just think your dog is cute.
Dan
He better not work.
Dana (Ozempic user)
What if he shits, though?
Brandon
That's bad.
TJ
Probably. You have to put it down. Don't do that.
Dan
That's.
TJ
Why would you say that they'll make you do it in the airport. If he shits in the airport, he's
Brandon
open up the door of the plane.
Dan
All right, tj, Spin to see who's. Who's playing Big Cat.
Stephen Che
Question about the couches. Someone reached out and they said that the.
Dan
The.
Stephen Che
The tags actually say the name of the brand of couch, not the player.
Dan
Oh, does that change? What do you think?
TJ
When they were stacking those couches to put them in this place, they definitely didn't note which player sat on the couch. These couches are very.
Dan
You think Che kind of ruins it, right?
Stephen Che
It's not the same. Because even if it's like a shitty player, you know, you can point back to that.
Dan
Yeah. I think we're out on the couches.
Dana
Can you.
Brandon
Unless you get everyone.
TJ
But you can still get your end table, Steven. That what you bizarrely wanted?
Stephen Che
Yeah, but it was same thing. I wanted a table. Because it was.
Dan
But then maybe. Is someone there? I don't want to.
Stephen Che
Yeah, we have someone in route, though.
Dan
If someone's in route, then we got to buy one, Right?
TJ
They were lying about being 20 minutes away.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Did I hear you're getting more troughs?
Dan
Yeah, we're going to try to make this office more troughs than I. I
Dana (Ozempic user)
need more trough practice in front of people.
TJ
People.
Dan
Okay.
TJ
Dana, you need another chicken stick? Yeah.
Brandon
Piss next to me.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I just can't. I can't piss next to people.
Brandon
Are you comfortable?
Dana (Ozempic user)
And I need to get some reps.
Brandon
You want to go peeing by me right now? Where's later? After the show.
Joe
My dad's been trying to break it into if you want to, you go
Brandon
pee next to TJ's dad. Yeah.
TJ
Tim.
Kyle
Yeah.
Joe
He's trying to pee in the.
Kate
Oh, he's wearing a shirt.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Is he a looker shirt?
Brandon
You asked TJ about what his dad's dick looks like?
Dana (Ozempic user)
No. No. Does he look at my. You know what I mean?
Brandon
Would your dad look at Dana's?
Dan
Probably. Yeah. Would you be open to curling against Chef Donnie on our new curling? Yeah.
Dana
I mean, I'd do it, but.
TJ
You don't want to.
Dana
I feel like that story is kind of. We're in peacetime right now, and if I.
Dan
So who do you.
Dana
I don't want to dominate unofficial.
Dan
Who should Chef Donnie play?
Dana
Have Chef Donnie. I mean, I'll do it if I. You know, I just.
Dan
But just beating him would be great.
Dana
I know.
Dan
And he. Maybe I. I don't like your guys piece that time.
Dana
I know you don't.
Dan
So maybe we put Earl.
TJ
You guys are the class rivalry.
Dan
But again, Titus says you suck. Donnie never beat him.
Dana
Can you, Donnie? Can you just like. It's peace time. It's peace. Donnie,
Dan
curl. Let's curl.
Donnie
Sounds ready.
Dan
Yeah. Peacetime is over.
Brandon
Yeah.
TJ
Let's curl.
Dan
Let's curl. You want it?
Dana
Want to play, Donnie?
Dan
Yeah.
Brandon
You do.
Dan
You're scared.
TJ
There's not much for you to losing.
Dan
Now he's scared of losing.
Donnie
Was he talking?
TJ
No.
Dan
He was.
TJ
Did he take his shirt off just
Dan
to put it back?
Kate
He's putting it back on now.
TJ
Why did he take his shirt off just to put it back on?
Dana
I literally said I don't want to. It's peace time.
Donnie
What was he saying before?
Dan
He was saying you can't. Yeah, he's saying you can't curl for
Donnie
you're up here saying nasty business about
TJ
me, but din of pussies can't curl. What you.
Donnie
What do you say, Dana?
Dana
I didn't.
TJ
What are you looking at me for?
Donnie
Because you're nodding your head.
TJ
Head.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I'm lying because you look cool.
Donnie
Thanks, Dana.
TJ
That's not why you're nodding.
Dana (Ozempic user)
That's why you nod people when they look cool.
Dana
Why are you laughing at him? Right? Boy.
TJ
Dude.
Dan
Someone you got beef with, you want to call out?
Donnie
Not currently. Cody always looks weird, but that's. No beef, though.
Dan
Who do you think you could beat in curling?
Dana
I want Donnie to get a win.
Dan
Let's say that. Who do you think you could beat?
Donnie
Probably anyone really.
Dan
In. In this. In this room right now.
Dana
I just. Well, I feel like besides Mark.
Donnie
Mark did beat me, so I can't Say I beat.
Dana
That's what I'm saying. Like, not everything.
Donnie
It's not true.
Dan
Well, everything. Pretty much everything true. Yeah.
Brandon
Mark wouldn't have bled on that tuna.
Donnie
I would have won in soccer.
TJ
Well, you.
Dan
You lose to everything that Mark.
Dana
That's what?
Donnie
Two things. Curling and. And a little bit of golfing. No, I. I won in golf. Technically.
Dan
Oh, technically. So who do you want to curl? Who could you beat in this room?
Donnie
Dana? Brandon, for sure. Kyle.
Dan
No.
TJ
No.
Nick
Kate?
Donnie
No. You? I don't think so. Be even. Probably Curls. Even. Curl. Nick.
Brandon
Maybe.
Dan
Why?
TJ
Do you respect Kate's curling?
Nick
Something really honest answer.
Dana
Oh, wow.
Donnie
Yes.
Brandon
So, Brandon. Yes.
Donnie
Brandon. Yeah.
TJ
I'm not saying.
Dan
All right, Brandon, Come on.
Brandon
He's too tall to curl.
Donnie
Yeah.
Dan
Curl against this boy.
Donnie
You gotta have the right body type. I'm not saying you don't have any.
TJ
Did you say that?
Dan
Yeah, he did.
Donnie
You're on the edge. You're just said you're on the edge.
TJ
Body type.
Donnie
You're on the. You want to be small. It's like being a horse jockey. You want to be smaller.
TJ
It's a curl.
Brandon
Yeah.
TJ
Why?
Donnie
That's why I lost to Mark.
Dan
You have a bad body type.
Dana
Smaller than me.
Donnie
In some aspects.
TJ
Yeah, in every aspect. Every.
Dan
No, no, no.
Donnie
Trophy at the combine.
Kate
Oh, shoot.
TJ
What?
Dan
True.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I feel like you.
Donnie
That's what I said. Smaller people.
Dana (Ozempic user)
So you both probably have hogs, but you're small.
Brandon
Dana, who do you think has the smallest dick on the yak besides you?
Dana (Ozempic user)
I mean, doesn't he have a hog?
Brandon
Yeah.
TJ
Is it.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Is it documented? Oh, big cat, obviously.
Dan
Sure.
Nick
I have a micro.
Dan
Yeah, Micro. Donnie, call someone out.
Nick
I called you a. Oh, all right.
Donnie
I could beat Max if he's still here.
Dan
All right.
TJ
Yeah.
Dan
Where's Max?
Dana
You should play Max.
Donnie
He wants to go shopping for Vegas, so he might be doing.
Brandon
Are you in? Burns? Upstairs.
TJ
Cool.
Brandon
Or do you have any beef Burns?
Donnie
No.
Dan
Max. Where's Max?
Donnie
I'd Max it. I curled Max. Mark, I really can't believe you turned that quick. We had one day of peacetime in that.
Dana
This is crazy. This is crazy.
Donnie
I mean, it's on you. It's crazy.
Dan
It is on you.
TJ
Yeah. You were the one.
Donnie
It's crazy.
Brandon
Are you in Basanco?
Donnie
There's IEDs.
Dana
I watch your entire video.
TJ
Video?
Brandon
We talked about it.
Dana
I watched you bleed.
TJ
I know.
Nick
I saw.
Donnie
Someone sent me a clip. It was nice. So then why. That's why I'm confused.
Dana
Do you have Billy's number, by the way?
Donnie
I will not Give you Billy Sushi's number.
Dana
I would like to.
Dan
Why?
Dana
Because I would like to.
Donnie
Thought that was funny.
Dan
All right, let's test this out.
Dana
Brandon, go out to collab with him.
Dan
Let's curl. Curl against Donnie. All right, Brandon, how many hogs are we doing? 4. Pick your team.
Brandon
Wow, what a team.
Dana (Ozempic user)
1.
TJ
Yes, I can do that.
Dan
Yeah, I think you can just pick.
Kate
You think the gold mug guys like this or are they in hell right now?
TJ
All right, first pick. As always.
Dan
Nice to meet you.
Kate
Tim Hitchings has a different chair than everyone else. Looks a little higher up.
Brandon
Vince is weird.
Dan
He really is weird guy. Steven, you do that last ad for your game. Who's the bad Guy?
Stephen Che
Yes, who's the Bad Guy? Is the newest social deduction game. It's from myself and Nikki. It's perfect for any game that designed for four to 10 players. It'll be a blast trying to figure out who is lying directly to your face and who is trying to genuinely help you out. It's super fun. We play this a couple times. The office are going to do a lot more. Pick it up@walmart.com. see if you can figure out who the bad guys guy is.
Donnie
He hasn't.
TJ
Is there an ad?
Donnie
Yeah.
Dana
No, no, go ahead.
Brandon
He has.
Donnie
I don't know any of my stones. He know he's. You have to be comfortable with your stones.
Kate
Go talk to him for a minute. Go get to know your stones really quick.
Brandon
I don't know.
Donnie
I lost their names already.
Kate
Go ask one more time and.
Brandon
Oh, wait, wait.
Joe
One's my dad.
Brandon
One is TJ's dad.
Dan
Yep.
Dana
One is Miny.
Dan
One is David.
Brandon
The guy in David.
Dan
David, Stephen, David, Stephen, David.
Brandon
It's fine to forget you.
Dan
Just fine.
Dana
Met them, by the way, Big Head. Peacetime is part of the strategy, okay? I'm gaining his trust.
Dan
Sorry.
Dana
So I get him right where I want him.
Dan
It was so easy. Peace time there. All I had to say was.
Dana
I know. But if I. If I can get him. Trust me.
Dan
Okay, I got you.
Dana
I can then betray the trust.
Dan
Yeah, Donnie, that would be fun. Just so we're clear, I did make up everything Titus said.
Donnie
Oh, so you didn't say anything?
Dan
No, he didn't say anything.
Dana
That's what I was telling you the whole time.
TJ
Look, he's been saying it all the year though.
Dan
Oh, no.
Dana
I'm trying to get Donnie to let his guard down. So.
Dan
Okay, I got you.
TJ
I got you.
Brandon
So what's the end goal? Do you want him? Do you want to be invited to his home.
Dana
Potentially. Yeah. Potentially.
Dan
You want to break?
Dana
I want to. I want to.
Kate
You should steal his Pete. Oh, man.
Dan
You have a camera on it.
Brandon
Where's Mince? Where's Ben? Where's Ben?
TJ
Oh.
Dan
Oh, no.
Kyle
Do we have to establish a new line? New throwing line.
Dan
The red line's fine.
Kate
That's nice throw.
Dan
Not even close. He. You're right, Donnie. He doesn't have the body for this.
TJ
Not.
Brandon
That might. Steve rolls pretty true.
Dan
It's a little bit deeper, I think.
Kate
Oh, Cody's flying.
Kyle
It is deeper.
Brandon
Kyle, you know the. You're the only person to get the halibut for Cody's wedding. I know.
Nick
He told me. Is that a dick move?
Brandon
I don't know.
Nick
Do you, like, switch from Hal for the chef,
Brandon
or is it inconvenient for them to where they could have just. Neither Are they shipping in one halibut?
Nick
In my head, there was like, probably like a halibut chef that wants to flex his halibut skills.
Brandon
Or he could have the day off.
Dan
Yeah, he's going to come in for one halit.
Brandon
Yeah. I came in, drove 45 minutes.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Multifaceted chef.
Brandon
So you think all the steaks and then one halibut hole.
Dan
All right, so then move the lineup.
TJ
There's a break in the hole.
Brandon
Move the lineup.
Dan
Move the lineup.
Kate
What?
TJ
You moved.
Dan
He's taking half. So move the lineup.
Dana
Who won that one?
Dan
That was a warm up.
Kate
Well, commissioner, big cat making his way up.
Donnie
Oh, that makes more sense.
Kate
When is Cody's wedding again?
TJ
All right. Yeah. Cheers. June. June.
Kate
And you guys both.
Brandon
Oh, tj, you're going too, right?
Nick
Well, now, the halibut fiasco. I think it's not a fiasco. I'm gonna hedge by just not going.
Kate
That's all the bride's gonna remember.
Brandon
Is it up of Cody to tell you that you're the only.
Nick
I didn't like that. He told me that.
Kate
Yes.
Brandon
He even told me. He was like, hey, man, go to you.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Did you hear?
Brandon
There's one halibut.
Nick
What's the halibut situation?
TJ
Embarrassing.
Nick
Is it just me still Halit.
Dana
One halibut. What's everyone else? What's. What's the other.
Nick
How many other what?
Dana
How many other entrees do you have?
TJ
Chicken and steak.
Dana
Chicken and steak.
Nick
And everyone is like, how many chicken? A lot of steak.
TJ
Exclusively steak.
Nick
How many steaks exclusively? Like 50.
Dan
All steak.
Dana
No other chicken.
Brandon
Oh.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Oh, that's on Cody for offering. Hell but.
Kate
Right.
Dan
No, come on.
Brandon
You can't blame Cody for offering halibut Nothing. He offered halibut, but it's like, you don't expect it.
Dan
That's a point.
Brandon
Oh, wait.
Dan
Oh.
Kate
Oh, but Mr. Hitch, is there a vet?
Brandon
No, no.
Nick
But also, like, if it is an extreme inconvenience to the chefs, I'd like to know, so I can switch.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I don't think it is.
Dan
It's the same chef.
Dana (Ozempic user)
I think they just. Once they get the numbers, they.
Dan
They just prepare.
Donnie
Prepare.
TJ
Good. Step off.
Brandon
Unless, like, everybody's getting their stakes all at once, and then you're the guy sitting there waiting on your halibut.
Stephen Che
Or worse.
Dana
No, it's gonna be opposite halibut first.
TJ
Oh.
Brandon
And it's gonna be like, no go.
Dan
Oh, what a throw.
Stephen Che
Wow.
Brandon
Everybody at the wedding's gonna be watching you.
Nick
That's my nightmare. And then they asked me to do a toast.
TJ
Halibut guy.
Nick
Say something.
Brandon
Yeah, you're gonna be the guy at the wedding.
Dana
You're the story of the wedding Already.
Dan
Yeah.
Dana
We're still.
Nick
I don't believe that. That many people.
Dana
I'm a Donny Guy now, but he's.
Nick
He's awful.
Dana (Ozempic user)
There's no chance. Nobody got chicken.
Nick
Yeah, no one got chicken.
Brandon
The steak, it was the way it was brand. It was a peppercorn filet mignon.
Nick
A wedding reception. I'm not there to really eat.
Dana (Ozempic user)
No.
TJ
Watch your butt cheeks.
Nick
There's a dance.
Joe
I think I'm, like, a 25 chance of going. Cody's wedding, unfortunately.
Dan
What?
Joe
I mean, it's on a Friday.
Dan
Where is it?
TJ
Buffalo.
Joe
I'm flying to Italy the next morning.
Donnie
Oh.
Joe
Logistically, I don't know.
Brandon
Also, you're closer to Italy.
Joe
There we would have to, like, skip the show. This show?
Dana
Yeah.
Dan
Oh, and the other. When.
Brandon
Wait, is Cody getting married on penis day?
Joe
Yes.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon
Okay.
Dana
I can't go for that reason.
Joe
The last day of for break.
Dana
Donna, you lose.
Dan
That was only the second end.
TJ
How many?
Dan
It's. It's eight ends. All right, so, Donnie, you just suck at this. I'll go against you one end. Let's test this body thing.
Dana
Donnie, I know. We're in peacetime. You're dog.
Brandon
Brandon, if you had the choice between chicken, steak, or halibut, what are you taking?
TJ
Say the first one again.
Nick
You're going to an event where it's. It's. You're going to be dancing and drinking, but mostly dancing, mingling people you don't
Brandon
quite know dressed up nice.
TJ
Give me the sources again.
Brandon
Steak, chicken. Halibut.
TJ
Steak.
Brandon
Second choice.
TJ
Halibut.
Dan
Whoa.
TJ
Okay, well, I feel like halibut's gonna be dressed up better. Anytime halibut's on the menu, I feel like. I assume the chef knows what he's doing.
Nick
That's what I do. Like, I like to order fish dishes at a steakhouse.
TJ
I. I will always go steak first. I was at a place the other night, ordered the redfish because I'd have steak the night before. So I will. I will go with a little fish every now and then, but I almost always end up hungry at the end.
Nick
Yeah.
TJ
And end up having to, you know, get food elsewhere.
Kate
Ah.
Brandon
Cody might be lying to us.
TJ
About what?
Brandon
Kyle's the only one get out of it.
Kyle
He blew his cover by.
Nick
It's a big wedding, right? What are the. What are the actual numbers?
Dana
What are you getting? At Cody's wedding, I have.
Nick
I'll look.
Dan
I'll look.
Kate
How many. Many people did you invite?
TJ
Kyle goes. One of us has to go.
Dana
I know one.
Nick
There's no way. 149 steaks and one halibut.
Dana (Ozempic user)
He's doing bits.
Dana
I'm not.
Dan
Yeah, keep doing.
Kyle
It's more shocking that no one ordered chicken.
Nick
Zero chicken.
Dan
I got to go there.
Dana
You don't cover. So, like, Conor can go.
TJ
Who wants Connor there?
Dana
I know.
TJ
Kyle, why are you going?
Nick
Yeah. I don't know. Oh, no.
TJ
My wife did see the invitation the other day, and she's like, buffalo would be nice. I've never been there, so I think pressure's mounting on me.
Kate
I think you'd have fun.
Brandon
Sit with me and Kyle.
TJ
No way. You're going, too.
Nick
Yeah. Yeah.
TJ
Well, I guess I'm going to Buffalo. Ain't no way I'm gonna let them.
Brandon
I really like Cody and respect him, and I think he's funny. And I get along with his fiance as well.
TJ
She's great.
Nick
Yeah, same.
Kate
Also, that'll give you stuff to chop it up about on mostly you'll be in the know.
Joe
Yeah.
Brandon
You know, and you can dance with me and Kyle.
TJ
That would be fun.
Kate
Brandon, you should go. If you're a friend of Kyle's, you should go and get the halibit. You should go to Cody's wedding just to eat that.
Brandon
Dog's going.
TJ
I mean, I'm not getting. I'm not getting. Halit.
Dana
Fake. Got it. I don't know if he's so bad.
Dan
He's so bad.
Brandon
That's a. That's a nice target.
Dan
You're a better girl. You had natural talent.
Kyle
Natural talent at curling.
Dan
Yeah. We're done. Thank you, guys.
Dana
Man.
Dan
All Right. Stephen, do we have anyone or. No. Feel bad.
Stephen Che
No, it doesn't look good. One guy had to go back to work, and then the moving guy. Moving guys is not that close to it, but he can get it out to us. Probably next week are full of.
Brandon
It's just not worth it.
Dana
Yeah.
Dan
Not worth it. Without knowing the players, if it was the players, I would love for, like, people to come by and just be like, yeah, you see that, right? Like, oh, look at the shirt. Kaden Proctor.
Brandon
He's got the yug station shirt on.
Kate
We just told that out to you five times.
Dana (Ozempic user)
Really?
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
We said Y station shirt.
Brandon
It was.
Dan
Said it now. It was a woman. In his defense, he also was. He was. Was deep into the Slim Jims.
Kate
Yes, he was.
Dan
Yeah.
Dana (Ozempic user)
What a shirt.
TJ
Your own shirt.
Kate
Yeah.
Brandon
I think I may have convinced Dante to do five minutes at Zany's.
Nick
What? That's big Y.
Dana (Ozempic user)
When is it?
Brandon
Next month. You want to do it? Can we book.
Dan
Can we book Steven on his gold? Steve, Steve, Steve.
Dana
You got. So that should be easy.
Nick
Five minutes talking about how Costco has gold.
Brandon
Zany's is a legendary club.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon
Jim Belushi got his start there.
Stephen Che
When is it?
Brandon
Next month. End of next month, I believe.
Stephen Che
Yeah, let's. Let's connect. If it makes sense, then, yeah, if.
Dan
Yeah. Why don't you guys connect?
TJ
Right? You guys are connected right now.
Brandon
I'd be fun to connect. Do you know how to reach me?
Nick
You guys connect to the exact date
Stephen Che
and stuff like that. But, yeah, makes sense. We can do something.
Dan
Yeah, we can connect.
Brandon
How do I get a hold of you? Give me a date. Okay.
Dan
Oh, I think that gold. That could have been a bit right there. That's.
Brandon
That's gonna sell out. So if it's Che and Dante, Night of gold. Oh, my God.
Dan
Oh, man. All right, well, let's spin the wheel. The new wheel.
TJ
The what's the same as the old.
Dan
No, it's not. It's the brand new wheel.
Kate
It's like the new deal.
Dan
Yeah.
Kate
It's a big thing.
TJ
And if it hits wet, we'll be one tenth of the way to the last wet.
Dana
That's right.
TJ
Correct.
Dana
You want. You almost want it to hit wet, Brandon.
Dan
Right. What's the. Every wet we hit is the. Is closer to no more wet.
Dana (Ozempic user)
What's the other. What's. What's the new ones?
Dan
A T bus. I'm not doing.
Nick
They know what's gonna
TJ
T bus. Okay. I don't know how she snuck it on the wheel.
Kate
Oh, it's on there. Oh, don't take it off.
Dan
Yug. And then Half Court Eliminator.
TJ
Art Eliminator is only not on there because we just did it.
Dan
Yeah.
Kate
What? Question.
Brandon
What's Dread?
Kate
Dana's here.
Dan
Yeah.
Kate
Would he be on the Wet Wheel and it would be his last.
Dan
No, it's only.
Kate
Only the core members. Got it.
Dan
Yeah.
TJ
So you've taken away the element of bringing Max in every so you're taking away the only really fun, funny part of it.
Dan
You have.
TJ
I haven't.
Dan
Please be.
Dana
Oh, there we go.
Donnie
All right.
Dan
There you go, Brandon. Dry jumper. Brandon.
TJ
The.
Joe
Love you guys. See you tomorrow.
Dan
Bye.
Date: April 30, 2026
Featuring: Big Cat (Dan Katz), Brandon Walker, Nick, KB (Kyle Bauer), Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Dana (Ozempic user), TJ and guests
This episode dives into the running saga of the Yak's infamous Wet Wheel punishment, centering on Brandon Walker's attempt to "kill" it once and for all. The crew brainstorms, debates, and occasionally argues about how (or if) to retire the Wet Wheel, with side discussions ranging from social media trends and odd collectibles to the effect of Ozempic on french fry cravings. As always, the humor is sharp, self-deprecating, and filled with off-the-cuff games and bits.
The main event: Brandon officially presents his proposal to revamp the wheel and retire the Wet Wheel—for good or, at the very least, give everyone “one final wet.”
Notable quote:
"What if you had the opportunity to know that was the last time? How much would you savor that? ... We have that opportunity now right in front of us, Brandon." – Dana, advocating for the 'one final wet' (35:21)
Dana on "Final Wet":
“What if you had the opportunity to know that was the last time? How much would you savor that?” [35:21]
Dan on science and sex: “Show your work. It's like when you're in middle school, they're like, show your work.” [15:16]
Nick’s deadpan: “I'm sorry. ... I'm just, like, sad.” [36:54; replayed at 90:42]
Kate's challenge:
“Would you be behind me or me behind you at the pottery wheel?” [54:24]
Dan on TikTok trends:
“Everything's gamified and optimized for views and money... The death of creativity.” – Paraphrased [43:11]
The tone is fast-paced, wandering, irreverent, and intentionally chaotic. The cast ping-pongs from deep-dive debates to absurd hypotheticals, always with a willingness to roast any topic—each other most of all. Don't expect anything to get resolved without several detours through bits, polling the chat, or mock heartfelt analogies.