Big Cat Can't Stop Thinking About His Best Friend, Rodney Dangerfield: Mon Aug 3, 2026

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Yak

Episode: Big Cat Can't Stop Thinking About His Best Friend, Rodney Dangerfield
Date: August 3, 2026
Host: Barstool Sports (Kyle "KBNoSwag" Bauer, Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Big Cat, et al.)

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around the legendary "party of the century" hosted by Eddie, featuring a memorable appearance by a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator. The cast recounts stories from the bash, delves into the world of celebrity impersonators and quirky side characters, reflects on social mishaps at conventions, and indulges in their trademark banter about mundane obsessions (like bidets and rugs) and upcoming plans. The tone is playful, fast-paced, and filled with inside jokes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Party of the Century" and Rodney Dangerfield Impersonator

[02:55–16:20]

• Brandon and Eddie recount the wild success of Eddie’s recent party, describing it as the most fun they've ever had:

  "It was the most fun I've ever had at a party ever… I’m honestly being…" — Brandon [06:05]

• Rodney Dangerfield impersonator was "the star"—entertaining, unpredictable, and wonderfully oblivious to social cues.
• Rodney mixes with the crowd, bounces between groups, delivers a full comedy set (sometimes only making one person laugh), and even disappears to a neighbor's house for a cannoli.

  "The best part about this—he doesn't have to pay for pictures at Comic Cons." — Brandon [06:52]

• Discussion of impersonator subculture, their business tricks, inside stories about the iconic sweater (bought for $80, sold to a San Diego man for $90), and their own circuit competition ("Midwest Rodney").
• Rodney's set, filled with classic jokes, is received with affectionate awkwardness.

  "He did a solid 10 minutes, including some scenes from Caddyshack where he played multiple parts." — Brandon [08:43]

2. Reflections on Celebrity Impersonators

[12:13–15:13 | 54:57–57:10]

• Rodney is described as perfect for such parties: present, circulating, blending into groups without outshining anyone.
• Hilarious rivalry talk: Should Eddie add even more impersonators next year? (Billy Joel’s Matt Foley, white Chris Rock, ‘90s Ken Griffey Jr.)

• “This party’s gonna end up, like, in five years, costing me a lot, but it’s so funny. Rodney’s in. Piano Man’s all class.” — Brandon [55:09]

• Odds and ends: impersonator friendship networks, gigs at golf outings, and dreams of an "Impersonator Podcast."

3. The Social Science of The Yak Party

[16:26–17:33]

• Dividing the party into five would result in five top-five parties; notable guests included a bachelor party and “Chicago’s piano man."
• Many locations featured: balcony, garage, alleyway.
• Unpredictable characters, including a guy infamous for taking his pants down (to some minor controversy among friends/partners).

4. Classic Steven Cheah Antics — How to “Explain Che”

[27:10–31:43]

• Crowd muses on how to explain Steven Cheah’s unique personality to outsiders after his odd but earnest interactions at the party.

  "My answer was catching a pass from Kyle Trask at the Bucs camp, and then the Ryan Mallett eulogy." — Brandon [27:33]

• Cheah shares he cried (bald) at the National after orchestrating a staged but heartfelt moment for his kids to successfully sell trading cards—eliciting both praise and head-scratching from the group.

  "I was just streaming tears. So it was a nice moment." — Jay [34:57]

5. The National: Trading Cards and Frank the Tank Stories

[40:14–43:46 | 106:07–107:06]

• The National sports card show is now “too big”—jams, crowds, and content creators everywhere.
• Frank the Tank interrupts an interview:

  “I got franked right in the face.” — Hank [41:10]

• Cameo culture: Frank’s draft orders/paydays, Gruden’s cameo windfall, Rodney’s humble three cameos/month.

6. Epic Side Conversations: Rugs, Bidets & "Guy Networks"

Rugs [89:03–91:38]:

• Donnie’s black-market rug adventures—including tales of Facebook Marketplace deals with Greek and Persian rug dealers, family shipping containers from Turkey, and disputes over prices and authenticity.
• Ownership is foggy, but Donnie stands by his purchases:

  “When some guy says he found a shipping container full of rugs, you don’t ask questions.” — Donnie [91:45]

Bidets [76:19–82:02]:

• The crew debates bidet temperature (cold versus Dave Portnoy’s preferred heated), proper post-wash etiquette ("dab, don’t wipe"), and the lifecycle of bidet attachment types.
• The existential wipe:

  “If you don’t use a bidet, you have shit in your butt.” — Jake [78:49]

Donnie’s 'Guys' [95:02–98:10]:

• Donnie “collects people”—dog trainers without a dog, a hypnotist, French deodorant dealers, a guy who makes candles, hardware 'guys', etc.
• A whole mini-saga unspools about the trustworthiness of Donnie’s various suppliers, sparking laughter and disbelief.

  "I like to collect people just in case I need them." — Donnie [95:46]

7. Miscellaneous Absurdities & Memorable Quotes

• On impersonators:

  “Impersonations are good when you say something that that person wouldn’t... Otherwise, you’re just them.” — Kyle [57:03]

• On masculinity and fighting:

  “The male human spends his entire life behaving and socializing based on a hypothetical fight he’ll never get into.” — Kyle [72:12]

• On celebrity lameness:

  “Celebrities now are like, lamer than ever. People don’t think celebrities are cool anymore… Now they’re going on podcasts and we’re seeing how, like, irredeemably lame they actually are.” — Kyle [74:23]

• On the love of mundane pleasures:

  "I prefer the lake before fresh water." — Donnie (amid the "lake versus ocean" talk) [121:49]

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Notable Quotes and Moments (with Timestamps)

• Brandon, on party joy:

  "It was the most fun I've ever had at a party ever." [06:05]

• Brandon (re: Rodney):

  "He told me his business as a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator was just okay until five years ago, when he found that sweater. The sweater changed everything." [10:05]

• Kate (as Rodney Dangerfield):

  "I came out, the nurses slapped me. The doctor's gotten a few shots, too..." [20:30]
  (Comedic impersonation during the reenactment of Rodney's set.)

• Mark:

  "You have a rug guy. You have a dog trainer. You have a hypnotist. Big Buck Hunter guy. And they're all kind of hacker sound system guy. You ever just go to the store?" [95:54]

• Jake, on Cheah's emotion:

  "Was it the release after seeing them get rejected?" [38:02]

• Brandon, on Donnie's trust in rug dealers:

  "When some guy says he found a shipping container full of rugs, you don't ask questions." [91:45]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Description | Start | |---------|-------------|-------| | 02:55 | Main show starts, recapping party & Rodney impersonator | 02:55 | | 06:11 | Rodney lore, party dynamics, impersonator subculture | 06:11 | | 08:43 | Rodney’s comedy set and party performance | 08:43 | | 13:12 | How impersonators network and compete | 13:12 | | 27:10 | "How do you explain Steven Cheah to outsiders?" | 27:10 | | 34:57 | Cheah cries at The National (kids’ trading card adventure) | 34:57 | | 40:14 | "The National" is overwhelming; Frank the Tank interrupts | 40:14 | | 54:57 | Next year’s party plans: more impersonators? | 54:57 | | 76:19 | Epic bidet discussion; etiquette and hygiene | 76:19 | | 89:03 | Donnie’s adventures in rug dealing | 89:03 | | 95:02 | Donnie explains his "guy" network (dog trainer, hypnotist, etc.) | 95:02 | | 106:07 | Brandon Walker at The National, interview interrupted by Frank | 106:07 | | 121:28 | They talk lakes: geography digression | 121:28 |

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Episode Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Rodney Dangerfield impersonator is "the sweater in the wind"—uniquely everywhere and nowhere, making the party legendary.
• The crew’s anthropological exploration of impersonator culture: their accessories, gigs, and the social awkwardness of party bookings.
• Steven Cheah’s wholesome but bizarre habit of scripting emotional moments for his kids (and then crying about them).
• Deep-dive into party etiquette (hot dogs, tequila, peeing in alleys), the mechanics of bidets, Donnie’s network of shady but lovable suppliers, and the curious economics of Persian rugs.
• The group’s timeless mockery of each other’s quirks: bidet preferences, what makes a “lake,” the psychological need to win hypothetical fights, and who’s the strangest among them.
• Plans for next year: more impersonators, wilder parties, and more stories.

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Closing Remarks

This episode is quintessential Yak: a blend of spontaneous party stories, random deep-dives into the subcultures of impersonators, office personalities, life hacks (and their failures), and zany reflections on everything from masculinity to rugs. If you missed out, just know—the party, like the podcast, is all about the characters and the unpredictable fun of sharing a room with them.

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For additional information, check out the Barstool Yak website or listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Transcript

[Mark]

Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Brandon]

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[Jay]

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[Brandon]

Spicy Meat Boy,

[Mark]

I'm the coolest one out of all of us.

[Brandon]

That was incredible. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in Still Blue Coffee. Go right now. Ready to drink cans. By the way, we're in circle K7 11s rolling them out. And appreciate anyone who buys from those places because to stay in stock we need to buy them and we're not in grocery stores.

[Donnie]

Did.

[Eddie]

Yes, please.

[Brandon]

And if you see them, just buy them. I mean, obviously I want you to drink it. Enjoy it too. But if you want to buy it and just throw it out too, that's fine.

[T.J.]

Build a castle with it or something.

[Brandon]

Totally fine. Yeah, you can do that. You can do it if you want.

[Kyle]

No, but people should say that more.

[Brandon]

Yeah, like I don't buy my drop. Throw it out if you want. Yeah, yeah, I don't care.

[Hank]

All right.

[Brandon]

Hello everyone. Oh, before we get to Eddie and the party of century. Did anyone else have like a. A Saturday during the afternoon?

[Donnie]

Little.

[Brandon]

Little Terror? Little like fright? No.

[Mark]

Terror from what?

[Brandon]

Well, I saw the news that Big died, and I thought we lost Brandon.

[Mark]

Oh, God damn. God damn.

[Kyle]

Big pussy.

[Hank]

Yep. Oh, man.

[Donnie]

Oh, you like that one?

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

Good, right?

[Jake]

Good.

[Donnie]

It's good.

[Brandon]

On the day of his college football show.

[Eddie]

Is that the quickest walk off ever?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I don't think he might have walked off pre show before.

[Isaac]

It's a good way of proving you're not a Big. By walking off.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Get back here, Burger King.

[Jake]

Do this for two hours just to warm up.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Mark]

Today's the day, Brandon.

[Hank]

Here we go.

[Brandon]

Here we go.

[Jake]

It's a big day, Brandon. How you feeling?

[Brandon]

You guys say, that was a good one, huh?

[Hank]

When did. When did you. So as soon as he died?

[Brandon]

Yeah, pretty much like Saturday afternoon. I was like, I'm. I'm going to save this for Brandon.

[Hank]

Well done.

[Jake]

Who is Big, by the way?

[Brandon]

Big.

[Mark]

I haven't seen the show.

[Kyle]

It's a good cat.

[Brandon]

You see Sopranos?

[Jake]

No, I don't like. I don't do mob stuff story got dumped off the.

[Brandon]

I mean, Spano is incredible. It's not. It's actually not a mob show.

[Hank]

Oh, it's 100% a mob show.

[Isaac]

A family.

[Jake]

It's a fire show.

[Brandon]

It's a family drama.

[Kyle]

It's about how boring life really is and how meaningless it really is.

[Hank]

Yeah, it's.

[Brandon]

It's actually a suburban family sitcom set in New Jersey.

[Eddie]

I think it's a comedy.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's a dark comedy, but it is.

[Mark]

I haven't seen it either.

[Eddie]

Very funny.

[Hank]

I also haven't seen it.

[Donnie]

Really?

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You guys should do that. I'm jealous of people who say like that, where it's like, I haven't seen this awesome show. You get to relive it.

[Hank]

I had a second in Company where I was going to watch them all, all those HBO shows, and I watched the Wire, and that was it. I stopped. The Wire was great.

[Brandon]

Wire is great.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Isaac]

It's worth it. But it's now, like, daunting. So many seasons, hour long episodes. I get it.

[Eddie]

It's too much.

[Isaac]

You need. You need another pandemic if you want to watch Sopranos now.

[Brandon]

Don't wish that on.

[Hank]

God willing. What was that said?

[Brandon]

God willing.

[Hank]

God willing.

[Brandon]

You want another Pandemic?

[Hank]

Yeah, to catch up on my shows. Why not? A good couple of weeks at home.

[Brandon]

Kate, Titus, Brandon, Danny, tj. I regret to inform you that you Missed the party of the century.

[Mark]

You had a pause before Danny. Did you think that maybe he was there? And

[Brandon]

muzzle on him again.

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah, right.

[Hank]

Hey, you didn't go to a party.

[T.J.]

It genuinely crushed me.

[Eddie]

She's the Kate Pride wolf now.

[Brandon]

This is genuinely.

[Eddie]

She's like, oh, we're coming.

[Hank]

We're.

[Eddie]

And then like, yeah, sorry, Kate.

[Donnie]

It.

[Brandon]

It should crush you even more because it was the most fun I've ever had at a party ever.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I'm honestly being.

[Donnie]

I'm.

[T.J.]

No, I kept updating my phone just to see the updates, and everyone was

[Brandon]

better than the next Roddy Dangerfield. What a delight. Also a bear, but what a delight.

[T.J.]

Yeah.

[Hank]

A lot to deal with.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He's marlin's man. He's a marlin's man. Hybrid.

[Jake]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

He's a phone braggart.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He showed me all the pictures. Also asked me multiple questions and cut me off within the first sentence of my answer because he didn't actually want to hear what I.

[Jake]

Cutting you off as Rodney Dangerfield?

[Brandon]

No, it was kind of.

[Hank]

It's.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You see, that's awesome.

[Hank]

He.

[Brandon]

Here's the best part about this. He doesn't. He goes to Comic Cons. He doesn't have to pay for pictures.

[Hank]

Wow.

[Brandon]

He told me that.

[Jake]

Perks.

[Jay]

He told me.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. Because at least you got to talk to him.

[Hank]

Yeah. You.

[Brandon]

Why I kept on. You were too scared to talk to him.

[Kyle]

He treated me like a hair on a phone.

[Brandon]

Yeah. This was. This wasn't genuine. I didn't even see Nick taking this picture.

[T.J.]

Look at your face.

[Mark]

Nobody's ever made you smile.

[T.J.]

I've never seen you look like that.

[Brandon]

There was a moment moment, too, where it was Big John who. Big John's a legend. He's like. He was there last year, right?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

How long have you known Big John now?

[Eddie]

I've known big John since 2019.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I just had him on the podcast as a mailman, and we became friends.

[Brandon]

He's the best. So he. Big John was there. So there's a moment that. It was upstairs in Eddie's garage, and it was me, Rodney, Big John. And it was maybe 10 minutes, just the three of us, and it was like, the greatest 10 minutes of my life, including Big John trying to tell Rodney Dangerfield, like, Rodney Lines and Rodney Dangerfield just no selling all of them. He's like, yeah, I heard that one before.

[Mark]

He was one of those.

[T.J.]

There's.

[Brandon]

He.

[Mark]

I think he thought he was Rodney Dangerfield.

[Brandon]

He was at a party not to, like, Toot our own horn. But, like, he was a party with some famous people, and he thought he was the most famous by far, and he's not. He's an impersonator. He was so perfect.

[Mark]

He also ditched the party for a little bit.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I just looked up. He was in the. He was in the neighbor's yard. And then he went in their house. Yeah, I don't know what. Like, he was. And then he came back and was dancing.

[Mark]

It was to get a cannoli.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Everything. Everything about him was so perfect.

[Mark]

His set. He did a set?

[Brandon]

Yeah, full set.

[Mark]

Sometimes. Sometimes you were the only laugh.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

I missed his set.

[Mark]

Lance has footage.

[Brandon]

Yeah, can we get T.J. can you tell Lance and see if we can get some. Some footage? Titus, he said he didn't have a set, and then the minute the microphone went in his hand, he did a solid 10 minutes, including some scenes from Caddyshack where he played multiple parts.

[Jake]

So was he the star? Was he the star of the whole party or see the star of your guys's world? Do you think the whole party was. Was.

[Brandon]

I think the whole party was having fun with him.

[Mark]

See, I think you have a.

[Kyle]

Poor.

[Jake]

Like,

[Brandon]

you tell me you were having fun with any.

[Jake]

I think, like, did Billy. Did the Billy Joel gu. Shadow. Is he like, what the. No one's paying attention to me?

[Brandon]

No, no. Cuz I think Billy Joel, and rightfully so. Chicago's piano man, who is fantastic. I think rightfully so. He's like, look, this is nice, but I have the talent here. I can do the music. Eddie, you don't think your. Did your friends talk to him at all?

[Donnie]

I.

[Brandon]

It was just me and you.

[Eddie]

I think he was bopping like, he was just jumping, like, groups.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

He would tell a few jokes and he'd get out.

[Brandon]

That's what he's paid for.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

He said there was jokes that he wouldn't tell women.

[Donnie]

And.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Told us those.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

We're like, good call.

[Eddie]

Yes. He was slugging beers.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

Every time I look at the cooler, like, he was just. He was there.

[Mark]

Moresh made a mortal mistake, and he asked if we could snip off a piece of his sweater for yak cards.

[Jay]

And.

[Mark]

My God.

[Brandon]

No, no.

[T.J.]

He got.

[Brandon]

Oh, Kate. He told me the story.

[Jake]

He.

[Brandon]

His business as a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator was, like, just okay. Until five years ago when he found that sweater.

[Mark]

The sweater changed.

[Brandon]

Sweater just took him to a different galaxy.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I mean, Eddie, you loved him.

[Eddie]

He was Great. No, he was.

[Brandon]

You were dancing with him.

[Eddie]

Yeah. I think he had the most fun.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Like, he was like, you never know what you're walking into. You like. You guys are great.

[Brandon]

He's like, well, I paid him two grand to get drunk.

[Jake]

Yeah, you guys are. You guys are awesome.

[Eddie]

At one point, he sat next to me. Me goes, do you have a Christmas party?

[Kate]

I go, no.

[Eddie]

He's like, you should think about it. I could be Santa.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's how it actually.

[T.J.]

We know.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I think we're going to do that.

[Mark]

Wants to get invited to parties.

[Kyle]

Santa Claus.

[Hank]

Is he. Santa has Rodney Dangerfield. Yes.

[Brandon]

Rodney Dangerfield does Santa.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He's going to do our White elephant next year.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

For sure.

[Eddie]

He's going to be here soon.

[Donnie]

I know.

[Brandon]

He's going to be two years in two weeks.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

I don't know if we want him on the act, because I don't.

[Kyle]

He's not, like, not conventionally funny and

[Brandon]

he's not, like, fun to be around.

[Kate]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

I can't really describe it.

[Kyle]

That was my favorite part of him, how insignificant he was. He was just a sweater in the wind. Yeah.

[Brandon]

He was literally.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Just going.

[Kyle]

People weren't really talking to him besides you and Eddie.

[Eddie]

But he was a good. Like, you turn the corner, it's like, oh.

[Brandon]

But very. Identified his role perfectly.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Where it was like, Roddy was Roddy Dangerfield at that party? I think he was.

[Mark]

He was doing a great job of being in every room at one point in time. So, like, you would turn. Be like, surprised. But yeah, him again. That was like. That was the best part.

[Eddie]

What did. Did he. Him and m' Oresh didn't get along.

[Mark]

Well, Mirage tried to snip his sweater.

[Jake]

Yeah. He gets.

[Brandon]

Yeah. But he also. The sweater was confusing because. Remember he told us the story that a. He sold the sweater for night. He sold a different sweater for 90 bucks to a gay guy in San Diego.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Hank]

What?

[Eddie]

And he buys them for 80, sells them for 90 after three years.

[Brandon]

Yeah. It was like, I got my money's worth.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[T.J.]

Like flipping a house.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

He was something man.

[Eddie]

And then he's got an imper. Like, the impersonators also have friends.

[Brandon]

Yeah. No. He goes around the country with an iron man. Roddy Nature Field.

[Kate]

Iron Man.

[Mark]

There's no crossover.

[Kate]

That one.

[Mark]

That one peanut butter. That made me laugh.

[Brandon]

Yeah. He showed me a bunch of pictures of Iron Man Man.

[Mark]

And is it a convincing Iron Man?

[Brandon]

Not really. It's a guy with a mustache.

[T.J.]

Where is he from full time Buffalo. Oh, Buffalo guy.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

Okay.

[Mark]

But then Billy Joel was kind of upset because he had a Rodney and we didn't ask about his Rodney before getting this Rodney.

[Brandon]

He has a rod. No, he has a. He has a Matt Foley.

[Mark]

Oh, okay. That's who he is.

[Brandon]

Which is not Chris Farley. It's just a character Chris Farley plays. So next year we might hire the Matt Foley.

[Hank]

You need the Matt.

[Brandon]

You got one character.

[Eddie]

But it's wild how they all have it impersonated that they're like trying to get in the door.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Which is awesome.

[Brandon]

Which they found the right door.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Wide open.

[Mark]

The non barstool folk, like your friends from the outside world, were they. Did they like the Rodney?

[Eddie]

I think they know, like they just. That they're in for the ride.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

They're used to stupid.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Isaac]

Or what about like your family? Your family's usually there.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Isaac]

Uncle.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I think. I think they're just of like. Yeah, we know the drill.

[Brandon]

He did just kind of seamlessly just become part of the party.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Like if he wasn't wearing that sweater, I don't think anyone would have blinked an eye.

[Brandon]

Yeah. They would have been like, that guy kind of looks like Rodney Dangerfield.

[Mark]

He was wearing a shirt with the actual Rodney Dangerfield on it, which I felt broke immersion a bit.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He also showed me his business card with his government name and I told him, do not show me. I. I threw it back at him. I was like, I don't want to see that.

[Kyle]

No.

[Brandon]

You're Rodney.

[Kyle]

That's it.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Every. Yeah, every picture in his phone.

[Eddie]

I think I only texted the X at this. But on Thursday when he landed, he was in a small town in Nebraska.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And he's like, I just ran into five 21 year old girls in the hotel lobby and they said, are you going to Eddie's party Saturday? What the. Call me now. He was like, he had no idea

[Brandon]

what no idea was.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And I tried to explain to him barstool, but he cut me off before I get to like the churn deal. Yeah.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That was quick. Cuz we were. Eddie and I. No, we didn't make it.

[Kate]

The turning deal.

[Brandon]

He was just like, okay, that's enough.

[Jake]

Stuck.

[Kyle]

Oh, I heard that. I was in the bath waiting for the bathroom and you guys were in that living room.

[Jake]

Yes.

[Brandon]

It was just so me. Eddie and Rodney were hanging out for like 30 minutes before he came out to the public. And it was just Rodney telling us about Rodney.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

All his deals and There's a. There's a mid. There's another Midwest Rodney that he like, kind of stole his business because he's better. The other Rodney doesn't really look like Rodney.

[Eddie]

Yeah, he already booked a gig through us.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Which is good. Yeah. And he said that. Yeah, he said like the other Rodney, the Midwest Rodney called him and was like, kind of like, what are you doing on my block? There's like all beefs and shit. It's awesome.

[Eddie]

It was fun.

[Brandon]

He's fucking great. I feel like it was a great party. I mean, it was great.

[Mark]

It was a great party.

[T.J.]

It was a flagship bash do fancy liquor combo with.

[Mark]

I bought a bull. You got a. Yeah, I bought a bowl of tequila.

[T.J.]

A bull of tequila.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Like. Like a horn cow. Yeah, just.

[T.J.]

Okay.

[Mark]

I thought that I just. I went and got. I went to Benny's and got the dustiest alcohol I could find that nobody has bought in years. So I got that and I got a pear and a bottle of brandy.

[Kyle]

Oh, that was.

[T.J.]

I bet that was bad.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I still have it. And I think we have to eat the pear.

[Mark]

We have to eat the pear.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark]

But no, I didn't have. Don't have the walking around money for Pappy again.

[Brandon]

Yeah, the hot dogs were a hit.

[Mark]

Hot dogs were so good.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

White Sox Dave tweeting about your sausages. Said they're the best he's ever had.

[Kyle]

That was the best hot dog.

[Brandon]

Zach Shallcross and his bachelor party. The bachelor party showed up and they were very confused. Yeah, they were so confused. Yeah, they were like. They came in and they're. It was just me and Rodney sitting there and they're like, are we still in Chicago?

[Mark]

It's like, yeah, exactly. And they had just left a beach club. Oh, man.

[Jake]

That's got to make you feel good,

[Brandon]

Eddie, that the gu.

[Eddie]

The bachelor showed up.

[Jake]

You throw a hell of a party. Everybody's hell of a party.

[Kyle]

You could divide that party into five different parties and they each would have been a top five parties.

[Hank]

Hell of a party.

[Kyle]

So many different locations. The balcony, the garage, the alleyway.

[Mark]

I hit them all.

[Brandon]

I hit them all.

[Mark]

I was pissing on the alleyway. Is that fine?

[Isaac]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

Cuz I was pissing in the alleyway and the guy that lived next door, I didn't know walked past and went in his house as I was pissing.

[Eddie]

Like, I prefer you to pee in the ass. It was great because it's like a simple pleasure. It's like a. I don't know, just a simple pleasure. I guess.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

It's peeing in an alley, Titus.

[Mark]

It's a shame. You were on the beaches of California.

[Brandon]

I had to work.

[Jake]

Yeah, I was working all weekend.

[Brandon]

Brandon.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Did you ever think about going?

[Hank]

I did, I did. But Saturday was weather wise, miserable and I had to.

[Brandon]

It didn't rain past noon.

[Mark]

Held out.

[Hank]

It rained past noon.

[Brandon]

No, it actually didn't.

[Hank]

Oh, up near my house. I'm closer to the North Pole. It rained. It rained.

[Brandon]

No, it stopped raining.

[Hank]

It did not stop raining at noon in my house. It rained a lot.

[Eddie]

Yeah, the tents were unnecessary.

[Hank]

Well, I wasn't invited, so it's not my talk to Eddie.

[Mark]

That's actually true.

[Hank]

Eddie just invited me.

[Jake]

Eddie. I would have gone.

[Hank]

Eddie, in the bathroom just now, you said disinvited forever.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, love that.

[Jake]

Eddie. I would have gone if I wasn't working. I swear I would have been there.

[Hank]

What if I throw a party and invite you? Eddie? Then you would have to invite me to your party.

[Eddie]

Not necessarily.

[Hank]

Oh, you'd be that guy.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Okay. Fair, fair.

[Brandon]

I miss Rodney. I was in love. I did see a picture of Blutman got of me when he was showing me his phone. And I think. I don't know what he was showing me on that one, but it was like I had like disgust on my face. It was really.

[Jake]

Did he show you anything impressive? Did you. Was there ever a point where you're like, look at. You're like. This whole situation is. Is very annoying. But having said that, he is showing me a picture of when he met.

[Brandon]

No, because the people.

[Jake]

This guy or that guy, and you're like, that actually is kind of cool.

[Brandon]

It was a lot of like, like the third most famous guy from the wonder years. Okay, here's a picture of me and him. Have you seen Police Academy? This is the like the sixth guy. Like. Like that?

[Jake]

Yeah, there's no. Like. This is when I threw out the first pitch at the Yankees game. Or no, Something where you're like, oh, okay, well, that's it.

[Brandon]

No, no, no. I don't think he's got to that level. Hopefully he gets that level.

[Kyle]

Is he married?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Yeah. Has a. I think a daughter in Chicago. Oh, someone said that his daughter lives in like Logan Square.

[Kyle]

No, I'll have to get her on.

[Donnie]

Did you want to hear a set?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[T.J.]

I'm afraid I missed.

[Brandon]

Was so good.

[Hank]

Hard to watch.

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

No, it was so good.

[Jake]

14 minutes.

[Mark]

It was hard to exist.

[Donnie]

Hey.

[Kate]

What a crowd. What a crowd. I'll tell you, I get no respect at all.

[Hank]

You know, I'm having a rough day today.

[Kate]

I got in a fight with six midgets this morning. Kept running through my legs, throwing punches.

[Brandon]

Hey, shut up.

[Kate]

I like to be up there.

[Jake]

Hey, how you doing?

[Kate]

Oh, I'll tell you, it all started

[Brandon]

the day I was born.

[Kate]

I came out, the nurses slapped me. The doctor's gotten a few shots, too. Doctor went to see my old man in the waiting room. He said, we tried everything we could, but he still pulled through. I'll tell you, my mother wouldn't grudge me. She looks like he's a friend. Oh, I was ugly. I went down the street, I said, stuck my head out the window. I got arrested for mooning. I was so. My old man, he wasn't so smart. He worked at a bank. They caught him stealing pens. So I said to my old man, how do I get the kite up in the air? He told me to run off the cliff. We went to the beach. He gave the lifeguard five bucks. Keep an eye off me. I'll tell you. I remember my old man sent a note back. I want more proof. So I called this girl Louise. I go, hey, can I come over? She goes, yeah, nobody's home. I went over. Nobody was home. I did this every.

[Mark]

There's a lot of jokes where there's one distinct laugh.

[Donnie]

I'll tell you, that.

[Hank]

So bad.

[Brandon]

It was so good killing it,

[Kate]

I'll tell you. My wife told me to take out the garbage. I said, you cook that, you take it out. So my dog's eating from the table. An hour later, he's walking around licking his ass. My wife goes, that's disgusting. What's he doing? I said, I think he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth from dinner.

[Brandon]

That was a good one.

[Kate]

The cockroaches are hanging themselves on the dental floss. She's not a good cook. I never knew meatloaf glowed in the dark. I'll tell you, I got a new dog the other day, Kyle, you missed this.

[Kyle]

Everyone missed this.

[Brandon]

There's three people in the crowd.

[Mark]

You're sick.

[Brandon]

It was so funny.

[Kate]

I'll tell you. I called my doctor, Dr. Vinnie Boom Bots. I told him I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. What should I do? He said, have a few drinks to get some rest. I said, I want a second opinion. He said, you're ugly, too. What's wrong with me? He goes, I don't know, but you're a perfect vision. I called my doctor.

[Brandon]

I saw the mo. Yeah, just Piano man pondering in the background.

[Kyle]

What am I doing?

[Brandon]

Eddie, I saw the clip too of you just. You just like singing with him.

[Hank]

Just.

[Eddie]

Cuz at the end like I noticed like Billy Joel's time was coming up and I know he hadn't played any Elton John.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I was like, hey, no Elton this year. He's like, oh, I thought you didn't win Elton.

[Brandon]

I was like, oh, we need Elton.

[Eddie]

We need Elton. He's like, all right, I'll play longer. He's like, give me. Give me eight Eltons. I fired him. To him. And then he sat next to me and then we just. We just vibed out.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That was a great scene.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

So two of you. I don't know if you can find a TJ was nice. Oh man, listen.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And then he just hung out and didn't do anything else.

[Jake]

You get along with your neighbors? I saw people like on the other side of the fence. Are they.

[Eddie]

Yeah, they're like.

[Brandon]

They're like, no, dude, Rodney went over.

[Mark]

Rodney was over there for a while taking pictures.

[Jake]

They have like. That's like flopping around.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Jake]

The neighbors get to watch the show.

[Jay]

That's the wriggly rooftop.

[Mark]

And only $2,000, which is.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I guess we're looking back. It was basically a personal Rodney for me and Eddie.

[Kyle]

That's exactly what it was.

[Eddie]

Did you talk to him much?

[Brandon]

No, Kyle was too scared to talk to him.

[Kyle]

No.

[Brandon]

I tried on going up to you being like, talk to me.

[Kyle]

I don't want to extended the hand. I was like, hey, so glad you got to come. I really appreciate you doing this. And he kept it moving. He's going nowhere in particular.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Didn't see you down there.

[Eddie]

You're right though. Like there were little things. Like right when his first trip to the hot dog cart, I got excited.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I was like, this is gonna be awesome. It's just a guy getting hot dog. That's all it was.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Taking pictures with people and just.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Telling like one off jokes and then keep. And then just bopping around.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Jake]

He. He doesn't describe his voice. Describe. If you're trying to explain how. How close he sounds to Rodney Dangerfield.

[Hank]

Not like Rodney Dangerfield.

[Jake]

Yeah, that's right. But I also know the weird part

[Hank]

is, Mark, I've watched a lot of Rodney Dangerfield. I've seen a lot of those jokes. And every single time Rodney dangerous. Those jokes, they're hilarious, right? Well, he's saying the same words.

[Jake]

Same words.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Not funny at all, but not funny.

[Kyle]

Those jokes weren't even original.

[Hank]

Those were covering absolutely Roddy Dangerfield jokes. I went over there. Nobody was home. That's a Ronnie Dangerfield classic.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but setting matters, right?

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah. Right. Drunk people have fun to laugh.

[Eddie]

It was early in the party.

[Brandon]

It was very early.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Two hours in.

[Eddie]

Yeah. If he does that set at the

[Hank]

end,

[Eddie]

it probably goes better.

[Mark]

I also. Is he only Rodney from the front? When he turns, it's.

[Jake]

He's not.

[Mark]

He's not very Rodney.

[Jake]

He. He looks like 70, like Rodney Dangerfield. He sounds like 20, like him.

[Isaac]

I think looking at that Rodney, 70

[Hank]

is a hell high. I think like 60.

[Jake]

Then he'd sprinkle in, like the shoulder thing, like. Yeah, every.

[Brandon]

Well, he did the dance.

[Mark]

The dance was good.

[Brandon]

Dance was great.

[Mark]

Dance was good.

[Brandon]

Yeah, great.

[Hank]

You have the dance.

[Brandon]

Oh, look at that.

[Isaac]

And you've been to enough block parties. I feel like next year you can play a game impersonator or just like, random neighbor from down the block you've never met who just ended up in your backyard. I mean, that happens at block parties all the time. Like.

[Jake]

Oh.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. There was a lot of random. So. Yep. How you doing? Beers over there.

[Isaac]

Crazy uncle.

[Eddie]

It was also like. It was fun. It was like a security pow wow as well.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah, it was great. We had a bunch of our security guards.

[Mark]

Security guards, yeah.

[Brandon]

Having a great time. Yeah. Tom said he didn't. He stayed till 2 o'. Clock.

[Eddie]

Yeah. And then Jeff showed up later and he was at the Yankees Cubs game. He was earning all Yankee stuff, like a Jeter jersey. And I'm like, you're a Yankees fan? He's like, no, just the Cubs, though.

[Mark]

That was awesome.

[Eddie]

I was like, okay.

[Hank]

When did the last person leave?

[Eddie]

2:15. Yeah, so actually not bad.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

It's gone like four before.

[Brandon]

So it is the perfect party setup because there are like seven different places you can be.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Location changes help.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Oh, big time.

[Brandon]

You just keep changing levels, locations.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Your friends are awesome. I met the guy who we told the story about him taking his pants down. He's like, I didn't appreciate that. I was like, that's Eddie.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I know. It was not. I was like, dude, come on.

[Brandon]

He's like, I listen to yak every day. And then one second you guys are talking about me taking my pants off.

[Eddie]

Well, yeah, because his, like, girlfriend was getting texts from people in, like, Pittsburgh.

[Brandon]

Is this your.

[Jake]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

Oh, the guy that shows his dick.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

He was there.

[Jay]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

Did he show his dick?

[Brandon]

No, I Talked to him for a while in the alley.

[Mark]

Which one was he?

[Eddie]

He was in Apollo.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You had a guy that looked just like Danny Conrad and I thought it was Danny Conrad.

[Isaac]

It was me. I was there.

[Eddie]

I wonder who would be.

[Brandon]

Okay, it was jello shots.

[Kyle]

Oh, I drank every color.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it was.

[Hank]

Oh, man.

[Brandon]

And then Eddie texted me something yesterday that I have to bring up to the act because I think I nailed it. But I would like your guys thoughts. Eddie texted me. Well, let me get the exact wording because it was so funny when I saw it.

[Eddie]

And we really need this for everyone here.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we need. We need to basically come up with a. Almost like a rules or, you know, just like a protocol. Eddie said if you had one thing or video to describe why Che is Che, what do you use? I'm having friends ask me about him and I don't know how to do him justice. So Che made his mark on the party for sure.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

What would you guys. My answer was catching a pass from Kyle Trask at the Bucks camp. And then the Ryan Mallet eulogy. Those are the two, like quick changes.

[Jake]

Great football.

[Hank]

The O's clip.

[Brandon]

The what?

[Hank]

Oh, yeah, good one.

[Brandon]

Oh, that was Bucks. Yeah, but that one needs a little bit of like the Ryan Mal. You can just give it to him and just be like, yeah, Ryan mallet died like 10 minutes before this tweet.

[Hank]

Yeah. Hell of a backup quarterback at Madden.

[Eddie]

Yeah. I had just people asking him. I started like, what's. What's that Che guy's deal? And I was like, I. I don't know how to explain that to you.

[Kyle]

So based on their interactions with him at the party.

[Eddie]

Yes, yes.

[Kyle]

Jay, what were you getting into?

[Jay]

I was just kind of absorbing I was there solo. I had such a fun time meeting all of Eddie's friends because all of them, every single one of them who probably saw each other last like a couple weeks ago. Every time they'd see each other, just reminisce about Catholic high school football.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Eddie and Danny's. I had word for word, repeat conversations, St. Patrick's football. And then the dude showed me his reasonably tiny nipples again. And then we had the same riff about his reasonably tiny nipples where I would be like, oh, they're better than having big nipples. And he was like, you agree, dude,

[Isaac]

you probably caught them 10 beers deep. That's when they're repeat start.

[Kyle]

They were great though. They love you.

[Brandon]

Oh yeah.

[Kyle]

They ride for you.

[Isaac]

I'm not sure who was there of of my crew, but yeah, no, you

[Brandon]

Came up a bunch of times. I was in the alley for, like, probably about a half hour just hanging out with Eddie's friends.

[Isaac]

All right. They stuck to the plan.

[Hank]

Cool.

[Jake]

It's good.

[Eddie]

Yeah. We're, like, the most mediocre. 5 and 4 football school. That's why it's awesome.

[T.J.]

It's just.

[Eddie]

People just care so much.

[Brandon]

But, yeah, Che, I. I didn't real. Like, it is hard to explain Che to the outside world. What would you guys use?

[Mark]

He's the ultimate consumer that every bit of marketing works on.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but, like, what would you show them?

[Jake]

I don't think of football. I think of when I think of Che. I think of, like, is a golf ball happy type questions? Like, I don't think.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's good.

[Jake]

You know, Like, I don't think. I know. I know. You are a Bucks fan.

[Mark]

Crabs.

[T.J.]

The crabs. There was another AI video that was like, so clearly AI that you were like. Like, is this.

[Eddie]

We need a portfolio where it's like, yes.

[Mark]

We need a website.

[Brandon]

We need a one sheet.

[Mark]

Like, we need dossiers on everybody.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

But you just, like, hand them a little card, and you're like, here's Jay. It's got, like, four things about them, and you're like, yeah. And then you just get it right away. Maybe it's impossible.

[Isaac]

Yeah. You almost have to start with, like, an adjective, because, like, for example, if you give them AI example, then that would just mean he's dumb.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Right.

[Isaac]

Doesn't describe.

[Brandon]

That's why the Ryan Mallet. It's like, this is the most inconsiderate tweet possible. He didn't see anything wrong with it.

[Isaac]

Yep.

[Eddie]

We're missing, like, we're missing something.

[Hank]

I'm looking at it, but remember when he came back with the big napkin from.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Was it a Bucks game? Where'd you go to get the big napkins?

[Isaac]

That's a good one.

[Mark]

Is that a sweet.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Yeah. And you. You went to a believe a playoff basketball game.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Hank]

And you were just awestruck with wonder about this big napkin you brought back to us.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Hanging on the wall.

[Hank]

Look how big it is.

[Isaac]

Bizarrely genuine.

[Hank]

And it's just not that.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mark]

That's pretty good.

[Brandon]

It's pretty big. It's pretty big.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Oh, that's a napkin.

[Mark]

You've had a ton of amazing life experiences, but you're still strangely, very sheltered.

[Jay]

It's fair.

[Brandon]

You also told me a story that I still am struggling with.

[Jay]

Go ahead.

[Brandon]

Jay cried at the national on Saturday.

[Donnie]

Bald.

[Jake]

Bald.

[Jay]

Yep.

[Hank]

Why don't you?

[Brandon]

I'm still like, I was thinking about this story when I woke up on Sunday.

[Jake]

Now hang on. We gotta hear him out.

[Hank]

What made you cry?

[Brandon]

Was it, oh, I'll do the DraftKings read first.

[Hank]

Oh, man.

[Brandon]

And then get into the story.

[Jay]

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[Mark]

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[Jay]

So Saturday I took my kids to the national. They are very into Pokemon. The sports card stuff is still good, but like definitely skewing heavy Pokemon. So we had some sports cards at home that are worth, I don't know, 10, 20 bucks maybe nothing crazy, but instead of giving them money to go buy Pokemon, I was like, hey, why don't you try and sell these cards? And then the money you raise, just buy the Pokemon with them. And then I was going to make sure they would get, you know, like 20, 25 bucks each. So seven and a half and five year old and going around to adults and being like, hey, like, would you want to buy these cards? Now the cards were a Michael Penix Jr. Rookie card. It was a gem mint 10. It's probably worth like 20 bucks. And then the other one's just a JJ McCarthy rookie card. So I figured they could probably get about 20 bucks for the pair. And I was going to grease the wheels and you know, have them give them another 20. So they had 20 bucks each. So they're being brave and they're going asking people and I'm telling the vendors, like hey, we got two first time buyers here, like, you know, they want to sell you some cards and a dad who's happy to grease the wheels. And I'm holding money up and this is to three separate vendors or people that have tables and three separate people look at the cards, look at my kids and just go, no thanks. And I'm just like, what? Like, how are they this cold? Like, just no interest, don't want to talk to them, don't anything. So I'm like pretty, not even frustrated, but like mad. And we go around and I see this couple, husband, wife, couple, and they're very, they very clearly have kids, by the way, that they're talking to different people. So I distracted my kids and I was like, hey, go look at that wheel thing. And then I got to talk to them and I slipped them 40 bucks and I was like, hey, my kids are having a tough time selling these cards. They've never sold cards before. Can you just buy the cards with this money that I'm giving you and you know, be nice to them. And there was a 10 second conversation. They totally got it and they were great. My kids came back, try to sell them the cards. They, you know, entertain them for a minute, minute and a half were really nice about Michael Penix Jr. And gave them the 40 bucks. My kid was super happy. And so as that was happening, like his first transaction after they'd been shut down a couple times, I was just streaming tears. So it was a nice moment.

[Jake]

That's nice. Yeah, that is, that's nice.

[Kate]

It is nice.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He talked to them and gave him money and yeah, that's what I expected to happen.

[Hank]

But the kids had a moment after a rejection.

[Mark]

Did they feel pride that they sold it afterwards?

[Jay]

Yes, yes.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Brandon]

It's a nice moment, don't get me wrong. But also it, it's more that I wouldn't be shocked that the moment happened after I talked to the people and said, here's 40 bucks, give it to my kids.

[Hank]

Totally.

[Jay]

But if.

[Hank]

No, but after watching his kids get rejected three times, being able to watch them be happy.

[Brandon]

Yes, right, right, right, right. I get it. But I would expect him.

[Jay]

I expected that at table one. And I expected.

[Brandon]

See what I'm saying?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I knew it was gonna take the

[Isaac]

shock element out of it.

[Brandon]

Right, you knew it was gonna happen because you had talked to them and said, hey, give these kids 40 bucks.

[Mark]

You gave your kids Pennocks and McCarthy.

[Brandon]

That's actually really mean, dad.

[Mark]

That's messed.

[Jake]

They chip in the extra money also

[Jay]

it shows out of the collection that

[Hank]

they could get 40 bucks out. And I know you were in the same place I was Friday. You had a lot more than 40 bucks to give to your kids.

[Jay]

Sure, certainly. But they're, they don't know what's like crazy about, but they just want like a Pokemon with the character they want on it.

[Jake]

Did the people buy 100 or 10?

[Jay]

It wouldn't make a difference.

[Jake]

They just use the money you gave them. They didn't like chip in anything else.

[Jay]

I think I may have bought like another five or ten card for them, but that's it.

[Jake]

We didn't spell no the, the. So you gave them 40?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Like they could keep the cards.

[Jake]

The cards aren't, the cards aren't worth anything.

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake]

Oh, I thought they were worth like

[Jay]

maximum, like 20 bucks.

[Jake]

Well, yeah, that's what I, I don't know.

[Hank]

But they didn't have.

[Jake]

Would it have killed them to like sprinkle in like $3?

[Isaac]

Yeah, I was expecting that.

[Mark]

That was still pretty cold.

[Jake]

They did literally nothing, right?

[Jay]

No, no. I mean, it took up their time. They were, they had like.

[Kyle]

I would have paid my own money.

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, it was a great, it was legitimately great moment. I was not expecting to like, get emotional. I like hardly ever cry. I know I did once on surrounding Barcelona, whatever. But yeah, this was, it just like shook me and I was just like, that's cool. Shocked.

[Brandon]

It's cool moment, but also of pride.

[Mark]

But this is part of chance. I thought, I thought they were going to give your kid like a hundred bucks for it.

[Isaac]

You feel bad for yucking Chase Yum. But the yum is kind of bizarre, right?

[Hank]

Che. The, the first three guys, like socially, those vendors, not all of them are, they're not strong.

[Brandon]

And you didn't talk to the first three guys beforehand?

[Jay]

I, I introed it and I'm holding.

[Kate]

Right, right.

[Jay]

To give them like with the.

[Mark]

And I think a lot of parents use their kids to get deals at card shows though too.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

The guy that stole it.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Crazy. Did they find them yet or.

[Mark]

No, I don't know what happened.

[Jay]

That's also not a 15, 000 cart at all.

[T.J.]

In 15.

[Hank]

A dad and a kid.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I think the, the thing I struggle with, I, I, the tears are like seeing your kids happy. There is no better feeling in the world. It's more after talking to him, I would expect the transaction to happen. So it wouldn't surprise me.

[T.J.]

Was it the release after seeing them get rejected? Because I Know, like, at the playground, it's tough seeing, like, people tell a kid, like, no, I don't want to play with you. And you're like that.

[Brandon]

And then you. And then you find a kid, it's like, yeah. And then you find a kid and you're like, I'll give you 40 bucks.

[T.J.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

And then when they play, I'm like, oh, my God, it happened.

[Jay]

I was expecting this to go so smooth on the first one, and it'd be like, yeah, great.

[Brandon]

That's crazy to me. That place is. There's not a lot of social etiquette.

[Mark]

No, no.

[Eddie]

And it feels bad when they say no. I. I was trying to shop that Shadir Sanders. I got, like, node 50 times.

[Mark]

It sucks.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Did your. Were your kids, like. Were they crying when they got the nose eventually?

[Eddie]

No, I still haven't.

[Brandon]

I. You should have told me.

[Isaac]

I would have.

[Brandon]

I would have talked to someone and given them 40 bucks so they couldn't.

[Mark]

Did they end up buying Pokemon, Jay?

[Jay]

They did. We got a Psyduck.

[Mark]

Nice.

[Jay]

An Arceus.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Brandon]

That's the God.

[Donnie]

Pokemon.

[Isaac]

Nice. Yeah. How happy were your kids?

[T.J.]

Happy.

[Jay]

Happy, because they.

[Jake]

That's awesome.

[Jay]

Pokemon's, like, the new thing, so. They are.

[Isaac]

Oh, yeah.

[Hank]

I don't know how you walk around there with kids, man.

[Jay]

It's. It's hard. It was far less and, like, obviously that moment was great, but, like, it was stressful. Like, you can't even really walk up and down the roads.

[Brandon]

No place is madness.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Your kids ask why you were crying?

[Jay]

They were kind of enthralled. I was, like, trying to turn away and, like, hide it. They did not.

[Brandon]

Oh, you're ugly, crier.

[Jay]

I. I couldn't see my. It was.

[Mark]

Couldn't see my face. How the would I know, Dan?

[Brandon]

Don't brush it.

[Mark]

See, that's a good way to describe Che.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Stupid question, dude.

[Isaac]

Gotta mention the golf club while taking your dog on a walk.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And air horn. Mini air horn. And his rape whistle strapped up. Yeah. That means that Che had an impression on him.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. They're like, what? What's his deal? Yeah.

[Brandon]

I love that.

[Jake]

Brandon, do you like the National? Yeah, it feels like it's a lot. How many years in a row have they done it here?

[Hank]

First of all, this is the third or second. I've been to three. I've been.

[Jake]

We've been to three.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Which I thought it, like, moved around, but I guess I think there's a lot.

[Hank]

Your deal next year it's in Detroit, apparently.

[Eddie]

No, it's here. One more year.

[Hank]

Okay, it's here.

[Jake]

I feel like the first time we went, you were like, this is. This. You're hogging. You just couldn't believe. Yeah, this is incredible. Second time you're like, this is awesome. This is right up my alley. And. But it's. The enthusiasm was waning.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Jake]

And this year, it feels like you just didn't like it, but you felt obligated to go, that's my feet on your.

[Hank]

I think it's getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

[Jake]

Is that what's happening?

[Hank]

I feel like two years ago, when we went, it was one of the first videos we did for mostly when we went, it's like we walked around, we took our time. We walked up to every booth and there was nobody around. Now you can't. You can't move.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

You can't.

[Hank]

You can't hardly function. Although I did get. I haven't told you guys this, but I got franked. What? I got franked real bad.

[Brandon]

What happened?

[Hank]

I got franked right in the face. I was. You know how you're walking around and people will come up to you and these content creators in this card game, the guys will give you a little mic and say, can I interview you real quick, ask you a couple questions? I did, like, three times, and one time I'm sitting there and I'm holding the mic, and I look up and the guy's interviewing me. I look up and there's Frank. I say, oh, there's Frank. And the guy turns and says, we're done. And he goes to Frank. Yeah, yeah. So that happened to me.

[Brandon]

Did you see Frank made. Was it Joe Sauce go through Cameo?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Oh, my God.

[Mark]

That was after Joe Sauce gave him

[Brandon]

a ride for 11 hours.

[Mark]

11 hour ride.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

But then Frank didn't know it was Joe Sauce and then made the video. And I'm pretty sure it's one of the more grainy videos you could ever see.

[Brandon]

Hey, Frank, you do a draft order for me? Yes. Can you order on Cameo? Joe Sauce's league? You know, this is the Tunnel to Towers Events League, and there are 12 names here. And he wanted me to do a cameo. And this is how I do my cameos. Typically, I put 12 numbers or 10

[Hank]

numbers or how many members you have

[Brandon]

in the bag, and I shake it

[Kate]

up, I shake it this way, I shake it down.

[Mark]

He's good at it.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I flip it around, spin around it all around to come up with your draft order. So here we go. The first pick goes to AVP Chris.

[Kyle]

He's good.

[Mark]

Second, Min was doing draft orders. This is like tax season for an accountant for these candidates. Oh, yeah, because Miny was doing them in the gambling cave.

[Brandon]

Yeah, they just. They just rip them. Gruden, too.

[Mark]

Gruden's like, I get that one a little more.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Super head coach.

[Mark]

I'm glad Frank made it.

[Hank]

Right?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Gruden's like, the number one cameo guy.

[Brandon]

It's crazy.

[Jay]

Malsek told me a story that they were golfing 18, and then Gruden at the halfway house was just like, I don't want to play the back nine. He's like, you go ahead, though. So Jake finished out. He comes back, and Gruden's like, while you play that nine holes, I made $60,000.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Because his fee is, like, decent, too.

[Jay]

A couple hundred bucks.

[T.J.]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Deserve it.

[Brandon]

Yeah. By the way, Rodney's on cameo.

[Mark]

Is he?

[Eddie]

Yeah, you're right.

[Brandon]

I asked him how it's going. He said he did three cameos in the last month, so it's booming.

[Mark]

But, like, if he's a retired guy, like, that's probably. It's probably a fun life.

[Brandon]

It's booming.

[T.J.]

A little travel.

[Mark]

Titus, did you and Brandon break down Mario Lopez?

[Jake]

We watched it. I did. What was that?

[Donnie]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

Needs to be like, his. You should take his social media away.

[T.J.]

Was that his actual account? I was like, oh, that can't possibly be his real account.

[Jake]

I. Yeah. I kind of just thought through all the steps it takes to post that.

[Brandon]

It's how too many really did.

[Jake]

And he's at.

[Brandon]

I can't take my niece anywhere. Anywhere.

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

Look at you.

[T.J.]

So good.

[Mark]

You're a mess.

[Brandon]

The mustard.

[Isaac]

Oh.

[Donnie]

What?

[Kyle]

Yeah. What was the prompt?

[Mark]

The.

[Isaac]

Is that why Niece.

[T.J.]

Yeah.

[Mark]

But none of it makes sense.

[Jake]

I think he was at the tj, right? He was at the game.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Jake]

His real picture. That was a real picture. That was then AI'd.

[Donnie]

He tweeted out another video with Denise.

[T.J.]

But that's AI, right? Obviously.

[Jake]

Yes. Yeah, that one is AI, obviously. But this. But he actually was there.

[Eddie]

Google.

[Donnie]

Big expectations.

[Brandon]

And I'm all in for this postseason push.

[T.J.]

Let's do it.

[Hank]

I'm here with my.

[Brandon]

Oh, he deleted it.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

What's up?

[Kate]

You ready?

[Jake]

So he was.

[T.J.]

Is he using these as a code word?

[Brandon]

Let's make it another W. Have a great day.

[Mark]

That'll be a weird code word. Call somebody that you're having sex with.

[T.J.]

I feel like that's what Sugar daddies will do though. When they go out. Oh, it's dinner and stuff to cover. They're like, this is my niece. And the waitresses are like, oh, okay, sure.

[Jake]

It's like, I don't know. Row four at Dodgers game. Southern California sun hitting you, you got a beer, it's. Everything's perfect. And you just staring at your phone typing an AI sexualized.

[Mark]

Rub it on.

[Kyle]

That's the biggest problem. It was like, what is vaguely sexual.

[Mark]

But the thing is like, what prompts

[Jake]

are you putting in?

[Mark]

And he probably got the video and he probably like, he's like, no, make her rub it on her face at the end.

[Jake]

I already watched it and then can't

[Mark]

take my niece anywhere. Everything about it crazy.

[Eddie]

It's a big bocce ball guy.

[Mark]

Is he really?

[Jake]

That's so.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I don't understand what's going on with him. Then he just posted a video of him training boxing. He said he's training for the can you date my daughter fight?

[Mark]

What?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I date your daughter interview.

[Donnie]

His Twitter is weird. He posts like Facebook memes. Like he'd. He'd do well on like the Oakley forums.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

A lot of those guys still find like the AI stuff to be funny and hilarious.

[Donnie]

He was posted like these types of posts. A bunch of these.

[Jay]

He's 52, so it's like.

[Mark]

Yeah, he's using social media like a 52 year old boomer esque. He's not like doing numbies.

[Brandon]

What is going.

[Jay]

I feel like the AI post was meant to be like innocent and just like him hanging like. And I feel like other people are sexualizing which like.

[Hank]

No, she's rubbing it on her face.

[Brandon]

It's hot dogs, dude.

[Mark]

I had your back with the kid moment. Now you just do this to us.

[Jay]

I don't know. I mean he's. He's an older Internet. Like, I just don't. I just don't think he meant that.

[Jake]

He's not 90.

[Brandon]

So to add this.

[Mark]

Yes.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Stephen Che going to bat for. For Mario Lopez. AI meme.

[Mark]

You don't think that was overtly sexual, Steve?

[Jay]

I can see how it would be interpreted. I don't think that was his intention. Obviously. I can see.

[Hank]

Well, you're also a Saved by the Bell super fan.

[Jay]

Like watching the episodes now. The show kind of sucks.

[Hank]

Oh yeah. But you.

[Jay]

I've consumed a lot of my.

[Hank]

Grew up loving it.

[Jay]

Yes. Over the years.

[Hank]

Yes.

[Isaac]

I could see if he had social handlers and they made a brand deal with an AI company and it didn't turn out how they want.

[Brandon]

No, but you could still do any other thing.

[Isaac]

No, I know, but I'm saying that would help that much more if it was an ad.

[Jake]

Maybe he's just trying to get the people talking. Maybe this is all part of it. You just knew.

[Brandon]

I guess so.

[Jake]

You knew that everyone would talk about him.

[Mark]

Brandon, can I make one with you? Like, I can't take my uncle anywhere and you just.

[Hank]

Yes.

[Mark]

Pull something out of your ass.

[Brandon]

What are you doing? Just riding the Sibyl. Cracker Barrel. What are you doing?

[Mark]

Brandon.

[Hank]

Yes.

[Kate]

Uncle

[Mark]

Quigs, can you make that for me?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Brandon.

[Brandon]

Riding the city in a Cracker Barrel.

[Eddie]

Who the.

[Mark]

We're here at Cracker Barrel.

[Kate]

Whoa.

[Mark]

Brandon.

[Hank]

Best seat in the house.

[Brandon]

Oh, man. Brandon, you excited for the college football show coming out tonight?

[Hank]

I am. I'm a little nervous.

[Brandon]

So you don't hate Josh Pate?

[Mark]

Was that a work.

[Jake]

Yeah. You could apologize to all of us who had your back.

[Hank]

Apologize about what?

[Kate]

We were.

[Brandon]

We were trashing the guy.

[Hank]

You can still trash him.

[Brandon]

But then you did. Then you did. You kayfabed us.

[Hank]

You know, if we're gonna start. If we're gonna start keeping track of the kayfabe, and I do to you guys, we're gonna have to go back and erase a lot of yaks.

[Jake]

I DM'd him some hateful.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I told him to go himself.

[Hank]

No, no, you didn't. If anything, you DM'd him. It was like.

[Brandon]

Yeah, oh, I. I DM'd him.

[Mark]

Mark was like, calling Burger King.

[Brandon]

I said, don't let me ever see you.

[Hank]

He was in the office.

[Kate]

You up?

[Hank]

He was in this room.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I.

[Brandon]

Him up.

[Hank]

Yeah, No, I. You know, I just thought after he called me, if he had that good line of calling me Burger King and he was McDonald's, I thought it'd be a worthy.

[Kyle]

Oh, so you reached out after that?

[Hank]

I did. After that, I. I think it'd be a good way to get him.

[Brandon]

Oh, okay. So it was that. That was. That clip happened, and then you're like, let me hit him up.

[Hank]

Sure. Yeah.

[Isaac]

Sorry about my friends.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Jake]

Yes.

[Brandon]

That clip.

[Mark]

Are you lying to us?

[Hank]

Huh?

[Mark]

How long did you have this booked?

[Brandon]

Months.

[Jake]

He know.

[Brandon]

Months.

[Hank]

A while, Brandon. A while. Yeah.

[Brandon]

You worked us.

[Hank]

Yeah, I worked you.

[Isaac]

That's fine.

[Hank]

Yeah, you're allowed.

[Mark]

Yeah, I'm excited.

[Hank]

Huh?

[Brandon]

I deaded him.

[Hank]

No, you did not.

[Brandon]

Mentally. Mentally. I debuted him.

[Hank]

Yeah, that's fine. Thank you.

[Mark]

If this gets 200k views, will you. Will you ride a sibian on the yak.

[Hank]

Yes. Because. 200k views would be a big deal to me. It's more of a podcast than a YouTube show.

[Brandon]

Someone get a bot farm going.

[Mark]

That's fine.

[Eddie]

Were you nervous about.

[Hank]

I'm not nervous about my performance or me doing a show. I'm nervous. I'm doing it from home. I'm nervous. The tech holds up. I'm nervous. The stream holds up. I'm nervous. It's also. Luki is the producer, so I'm nervous.

[Jake]

You know, you're doing a show tonight.

[Hank]

Yeah, six o'.

[Donnie]

Clock.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Jake]

But what. So what's the paid thing?

[Hank]

I'm just gonna attack it on the end. Okay. I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna do 30 or 45 minutes and I'll say

[Jake]

in here, toss it to the interview.

[Mark]

How did the parsing through the voicemails go?

[Hank]

So we put it out yesterday. The number, which is 685. No, 312685. 1889. We put out the number. I believe by three hours later, they had 400 of them. I told him to pull out seven. So I think Katie Stats is back in New York helping. I think traffic for the boys is helping. So. So whoever was responsible, because I don't want to hear him.

[Jake]

Is that just Lucas's number?

[Kate]

Where.

[Jake]

Where does the number go to?

[Mark]

That would be funny.

[Hank]

I think it's just straight to a voicemail that they set up, like a voicemail service. 312-685-189. That's the voicemail.

[Brandon]

Speaking of Lucas, they're. They're doing another one where they're dead. There's a hole in one stream, but with a putter.

[Hank]

Right. An even harder hole in one stream.

[Kate]

Correct.

[Mark]

Explain.

[Brandon]

They're trying to break the record for longest putt ever, and it's like 157 yards. That's a hole in. That's the par three, par three hole.

[T.J.]

Where is their grass? Like, where are they able to do that?

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Hank]

It's got to be a course that just has a, you know, you just knock it down the hill. Right.

[Brandon]

Downhill.

[Hank]

But the grass has to be.

[Brandon]

Because if it's not downhill, that's.

[Hank]

You can't hit it.

[Brandon]

Very hard shot.

[Hank]

It has to be like, where you just.

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Hank]

Smokes is doing it.

[Brandon]

Deutsch. Deutsch put a dick of sausage in

[Mark]

his pants at the party.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I was rubbing it on. Mikey. Bets.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Mikey Betts said his wife showed up and was like, you're like, what's wrong with you? You're so up.

[Eddie]

He was so high.

[Brandon]

He was having the best time ever

[Mark]

that he's not allowed to have tequila per his wife. And he.

[Brandon]

Oh, no, he sipped the bull,

[Kate]

ordered

[Eddie]

McDonald's in my house.

[Kyle]

Did he?

[Eddie]

Oh, wait, yeah, like, 12, 15. He's like, hey, dude, sorry I accidentally ordered McDonald's to your house.

[Mark]

Why did he have your. Your address in his.

[Isaac]

Did he have something delivered there earlier?

[Kyle]

Beer.

[Mark]

Oh, he ordered beer.

[Brandon]

I actually. Your house because I used to.

[T.J.]

Different.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Fries, nuggets, and doubles. All yours. That's kind of nice. Did it get eaten?

[Eddie]

I think security Jeff had. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, man.

[Donnie]

He.

[Mark]

He's here today working. And I always. Just ever. Every time I'm out with somebody, I just joke. I'm like, dude, you were wasted this weekend. He was like, yeah, man, I. I don't remember.

[Eddie]

Oh, he's great.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

This is just happening in the alley.

[Jake]

Look at that.

[Mark]

That's devilish smirk.

[Kyle]

Oh, Donnie's hand almost grazed.

[Brandon]

Classic prank.

[Mark]

And it looks just like a natural reaction. The boys in the alley. Alley were rowdy. Alley cats were around.

[Hank]

Those boys are up.

[Brandon]

Tell you it was a party of the century.

[Eddie]

Bats was buckled.

[Kyle]

That's Deutsch's boy circumcision story.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

Deutsche's boy with the facial poison ivy. Dog bite was there.

[Brandon]

Oh, he was full recovery. I thought he was not allowed to party with him anymore summers.

[Kyle]

No, he was out with us last weekend.

[Brandon]

Oh, no, he's back.

[Kyle]

He's back in a big way. He's the one with the adult circumcision that went wrong. He tried to get a good deal, and it was a bootleg circumcisionist.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Ended up getting more skin.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, what a party. How long did Roddy stay?

[Eddie]

Let me see. When he texted me when he left. Also, he did ask for permission to go next door, which was nice of him.

[Brandon]

Oh, that is nice.

[Eddie]

You mind if I pop over? Like, yeah, no problem. And I talked to my neighbors, like, yeah, I think we alert him over with the cannoli. So I think you.

[Brandon]

Cannoli with a. With a box and a string on it. Get him over here.

[Eddie]

Oh, he left at midnight.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's good.

[Kate]

That's good.

[T.J.]

Shift.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Hank]

So do you shift your focus to find a new impersonator of a new celebrity next year, or do you go double Rodney?

[Brandon]

No, I think we add someone. But Rodney's in.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Hank]

So Rodney's in forever.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

This party's gonna end up, like, in five Years. This party's gonna cost me a lot.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

But it's so funny. Yeah. Rodney's in Piano Man. Is. I mean, he's all class.

[Eddie]

He's the best.

[Brandon]

The absolute best.

[Jake]

Yeah. What do you. I mean, you have comedian, you have musician.

[Mark]

We gotta get Kate.

[Jake]

Do another.

[T.J.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

We gotta get you there.

[T.J.]

I know.

[Mark]

That's the next big. Yeah. Or a Kate impersonator. Kate Con.

[T.J.]

I'll send somebody.

[Brandon]

I want to find a white Chris Rock. That's what I'm.

[Jake]

White Chris Rock.

[Brandon]

To do a set and just make it super.

[Eddie]

We could use an athlete probably.

[T.J.]

Are there athlete impersonators?

[Brandon]

That would be great.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Imperson everything. Impersonator.

[T.J.]

Yeah, you're right.

[Jake]

I wouldn't be shocked.

[Brandon]

Definitely find a guy who just has a bat all night.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Your stance,

[T.J.]

because.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

The party gets so drunk. It doesn't matter who's like.

[Mark]

But they just.

[Brandon]

They just, like, blend in.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Jake]

What about batting?

[Brandon]

But he doesn't. He does.

[Hank]

Everyone.

[Brandon]

I want someone who's. Specifically.

[Mark]

You want a specialist?

[Brandon]

I only do 90s. Ken Griffey.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Something like that.

[Kyle]

Or I'm Jeff Kent off the field.

[Jake]

Off field.

[Mark]

Jeff.

[Kyle]

Like Jeff at his house.

[Brandon]

That's just like a waiter. From Ed to Bevix.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Would a podcast of just a different impersonator you interview every time be awful or good?

[Brandon]

I'd listen.

[Mark]

You might be. It is the of it.

[Jake]

I think it'd be interesting for five episodes.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Hank]

I was gonna say two and a half.

[Jake]

After that, you start to just get the same answers.

[Brandon]

Yeah, probably. It's a lot of the same.

[Jake]

A lot of the same.

[Mark]

I think they all have different paths of winding up. Unless every episode's like, yeah, I kind

[Donnie]

of look like them.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Impersonations are good. When you say something that that person wouldn't. That's what I give them. A new Persona.

[Mark]

Right.

[Kyle]

Otherwise you're just them.

[Jake]

What about, like, familiar, but like a Stevo impersonator at the party? Like a jackass jumping off the roof.

[Brandon]

That'd be sick.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Chris Pontius shows Pontius in person.

[Mark]

That'd be great.

[Brandon]

Bikini.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

We got.

[Brandon]

We listen. It's a wide world out there.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Just add them to the mix and then just let him blend in.

[Hank]

That was the thing.

[Brandon]

He just did his own thing.

[Eddie]

Yeah. He didn't need to be.

[Brandon]

Other than his set. It was just.

[Mark]

Has to be one of the easier paychecks anybody's ever, ever. Outside of barstool sports.

[Brandon]

He's had a great time.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He Said usually his gigs are like standing at like the ninth hole of a golf outing.

[Hank]

Outing.

[Brandon]

And like telling like a few jokes to the guys as they pass by.

[Jake]

That feels like a pretty good idea. This guy's got. This guy's got it made.

[Eddie]

Maybe big Sabers fan.

[Jake]

Because you could just say the same joke to everybody that you just get a new group every hole.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Just sit there at the night that have.

[Brandon]

Big Sabers fan.

[Jake]

One joke.

[Brandon]

Thought Patrick Kane was still going to maybe come to the city. Yes, that one was a little baffling. Yeah, it was like, yeah, we might get Kane. It's like, like, I don't think so, dude.

[Eddie]

Sorry to break it.

[Brandon]

That happened two weeks ago.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Titus, could we sign you up to be like a CM Punk impersonator? Just see what gigs you get.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You'd get kids birthday parties. I bet.

[Jake]

Then what do I do?

[Mark]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

20 beers.

[Mark]

Yeah, just get real drunk.

[Jake]

Drunk. Get up drunk.

[Brandon]

CM Punk.

[Eddie]

Every half hour we'll play Call to Personality. You just walk in,

[Kate]

leave.

[Eddie]

Exactly.

[Brandon]

Oh, man.

[Eddie]

I had like. I know there's a. You like the most free money if you're brunette is doing Miss Rachel. Like.

[T.J.]

Oh, I know.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

Miss Rachel at my nephew's party. And like they make bank and she did like, she was there for like 20 minutes.

[Hank]

So blonde women.

[T.J.]

Elsa. Elsa's a big one. Oh, you got long blonde hair. You're in.

[Brandon]

All right, what do you got for us, Jay? Here, I'll do an ad. Give us some shit. Jay Roback Roebuck Active wear. Best fit, best feel. Summer wardrobe check. Let's run through what Roback has going on right now because it's a lot. Swim trunks, some of the best designs out there. Quick dry, four way stretch and a liner that is so comfortable, you're gonna want to keep it in pool, lake, boat, beach. Doesn't matter. These are built for all of it. Then tees. They're Tailwind tees are the best beach tees out there. Soft, stretchy, and they actually look good. Not some stiff, scratchy thing you wear once and forget about. These are an everyday go to and for Polos. The Sweater Polo and the Tailwind Polo are both filthy. The Sweater Polo is a sleeper. Nobody saw it coming from Roback. But it's super comfortable and ridiculously clean looking. The Tailwind Polos butter soft, clean look and easy to throw on anywhere. Just build the whole summer wardrobe from Roback and don't think about it. Go to roback.com r h O-B-A-K.com use code YAK for 20 off your first purchase. Best fit, best feel. Roback

[Jay]

is the three year anniversary of our Shohei Otani Day.

[Brandon]

Oh yeah.

[Jay]

In town with the Dodgers tonight. Also, there was a guy who jumped 83 meters off the Brooklyn Bridge. And it's like, okay, saw this or like, not dead. I think he's obviously in some type of condition.

[Brandon]

But no, I think he was fine.

[Hank]

He was he totally fine?

[Brandon]

I think so.

[Jake]

Was he a daredevil or a, I

[Brandon]

think of sad guy? Well, he had like a flag. He also had like a homemade parachute.

[Jay]

I thought it was like some type of flag he was trying to like glide in on.

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Jay]

It didn't work, but it did. I mean, he's not dead.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he survived. So it definitely worked in that regard.

[Hank]

Right.

[Eddie]

Have you guys ever seen the bridge?

[Jake]

Yeah, I watched it in San Francisco.

[Eddie]

Oh, you did?

[Jake]

So I got visiting. I went, what's the bridge I went to? So I went. The first time I went to the Golden Gate Bridge, someone had jumped. I didn't see them jump, but I, I saw the crowd.

[Eddie]

What happened?

[Jake]

Like, people were like huddled around looking down. And then I was like, what are we looking at? And then I looked, I was like, yeah. And then the person's house I was staying at, I went home and told them about it and they're like, yeah, that's like the number one suicide place in America. I. I was ignorant. No, I didn't, I didn't know that was a thing. Like, you should watch this documentary if you're interested in it. Then I watched it. Yeah, me up.

[Eddie]

It's a camera crew that's set up, up for the whole year, 365 days. And I just watch the bridge. And they get like the low lights. Yeah, yeah. Like, they got a couple people jumping.

[Isaac]

They saw me licking it at one point.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jay]

I found this thing called death diving. Have you guys ever heard of this?

[Donnie]

No.

[Jay]

Came across my Instagram feed. It's like just dudes jumping off high points but like basically belly flopping.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, you freeze.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Seeing these boys, they're not belly flopping though.

[Mark]

They're.

[Brandon]

They're breaking it with, with their arms and their legs.

[Donnie]

This is like a sport that they do, like competition.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Travel.

[Jake]

Chef Donnie, he would. It's a Chef Donnie.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mark]

This might be a wonton don thing.

[Brandon]

I've seen him.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

They're gonna do this in two weeks.

[Hank]

Wait, chair.

[Brandon]

You're doing this in two Weeks.

[Mark]

Oh yeah, that's right.

[T.J.]

Hi to a wheelchair.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jay]

You're doing this not death diving. I mean Deutsche said he doesn't want to do anything heights related, so I assume he has some type of.

[Jake]

Yeah, that's right. Because the wasp nest as well. Right. He doesn't. Yeah, it's got to be low.

[Mark]

He is nervous for camp because his, his dad gets incredibly competitive.

[Hank]

Good.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Jake]

It's your dad. Coming. We're still on track.

[Brandon]

We're doing Deutsche v. Deutsch, but because Buddy Deutsch doesn't know anyone at barstool, like for the draft it's gonna be Deutsch and Buddy Deutsch and Tate versus Ronnie Deutsch and Spider.

[Mark]

Good.

[Brandon]

It'll be like assistant captain Spider and Tate because they have a little rivalry. Yeah, they have.

[Kyle]

They do.

[Jake]

Really?

[Brandon]

Spider has a rival.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Oh yeah, that's right.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Who could forget?

[Brandon]

Since Spider just gets, he, he gets amped up for competition and Tate does too in a different way.

[Eddie]

What did he do to Spider? He like pantsed him or something.

[Mark]

He rubbed his balls and touched Spider's face.

[Jake]

Right?

[Eddie]

Yeah, he swiffered him.

[Mark]

That's what.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Jake]

BBL is a year round sport. People talk about it. Even the off season.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jake]

All the league I can created.

[Brandon]

Do you know what also was one of the best parts about your party? Miny wasn't there.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Hank]

How that happen?

[Mark]

He had, he had the biggest spread ever. He did a food review. He was that night.

[Eddie]

Oh yeah, I saw that.

[Mark]

Complimented. He brought up how pretty the waitresses were.

[Hank]

Did he really?

[Jay]

I believe so.

[Eddie]

Mincy was there last year. I, I. And he told, when he told me it wasn't coming, I was like, damn. I cuz remember there was like, he like walked out. You posted a clip of him like.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Was the broken foot him, him realizing

[Isaac]

it's a fake Billy Joel.

[Kate]

Yeah. Pissed.

[Brandon]

Oh, that clip is all time funny.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You find that?

[Mark]

I was bummed he wasn't there.

[Eddie]

I know. That's what I saw. I was like, man, it would have

[Brandon]

been funny to see him there with his, with his, his boot.

[Hank]

Yeah, he's getting around okay.

[Brandon]

He's fine. He's walking.

[Hank]

Yeah. But I mean like he's actually walking now. Yeah, he's getting around. Okay.

[Eddie]

What's his folder thing?

[Brandon]

Oh my God.

[Hank]

I got one clip. Yeah, pretty much says it all.

[Jake]

Yeah. Bobblehead.

[Brandon]

That's the bobblehead.

[Mark]

That's the one that actually you get, you get everything.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Crutches might make it though. Like him coming off that elevator, but

[Mark]

it's him coming into work. This one. He's in New Orleans. He's at a game. That and also disregarding breaks the bobblehead. Disregarding others.

[Jake]

Bill's all over inconveniences other people, does nothing about it.

[Mark]

People can't go up and down the steps. It's. It's everything.

[Brandon]

Also the no hitter.

[Isaac]

That's good.

[Brandon]

No hitter's good.

[Jake]

Funny.

[Brandon]

That's good, Min.

[Hank]

I mean he's got a.

[Brandon]

When he the College World Series, he's like, update. That no one cared about. It was like, we got a no hitter going on. Then you can hear the crack. The home run right behind him.

[Mark]

Besides, you big cat. He wipes the floor in a versus battle with us.

[Hank]

His greatest hits is.

[Mark]

His bag is deep.

[Jake]

Absolutely.

[Brandon]

He should do A versus Che versus Miny with moments. Yes.

[Mark]

That's pretty awesome. Oh, man.

[Brandon]

Pulling them up. That would actually be a great. Oh, we should do A versus that too.

[Hank]

I think Mitzi's washing everybody.

[Mark]

I.

[T.J.]

Yes, I know it's AI, but the sunflower seeds all over that guy. I credit that, the aura.

[Mark]

I mean, inviting the dudes to the table. The shorts on the sill.

[Hank]

There's this window.

[Kyle]

Yeah, but Phoenix alone.

[T.J.]

Jesus. Oh, how can we.

[Mark]

His Phoenix against my curvy car?

[Brandon]

The garage car in the garage in the driveway.

[Hank]

Yeah, that's.

[Brandon]

That's it right there.

[Mark]

Yeah, we could do Mincy Verse office.

[Hank]

His top five is up there against anybody on the Internet.

[Mark]

Wait, double check.

[Kyle]

No,

[Isaac]

That ain't him.

[Hank]

Yeah, actually just crutches, I guess. Probably does crack the top five, but it, it, it's a tough nut to crack.

[Eddie]

That's pretty mi. Like that's mind boggling. Someone would do that.

[Mark]

I think you have recency bias. He has hits.

[Brandon]

You hear me?

[Donnie]

When he was running in the street to go to pick central that one day.

[Mark]

Oh my God. Pulling the pants up.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Hank]

Driveway bobblehead, first of the month.

[Jake]

Those three have to be. Those three have to be on there. Those are. Those are in the top five for sure. Then the last two are up for debate.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

See him talking the sales team's ear off this morning?

[Hank]

No. About what?

[Mark]

His trip to Nashville.

[Donnie]

Some sort of trip.

[Hank]

Yeah, as well.

[Mark]

But the thing about it is it's the biggest week in college football this year.

[Brandon]

Like number one.

[T.J.]

Because

[Donnie]

it's got to come back.

[Brandon]

And I just.

[Hank]

It's like one of those where it's like.

[Donnie]

The green line.

[Brandon]

It's going to be lava. Today's August The Brandon.

[Mark]

You're going to ride a Cibian for 200 thou. He's guaranteed 500 mil. 50 mil.

[Jake]

Huh huh, huh, huh.

[Mark]

Big ass spread.

[Brandon]

Jesus Christ. I'm a Black Barrel Tavern in West Loop. I've been hearing about this place. This why you missed your party. They've got a bl view for women

[Isaac]

in the work here.

[Kyle]

A lot of.

[Mark]

And then he eats from the serving spoon, from the pasta. It's really good. Again, I wait, what?

[Brandon]

See that? I want to see that.

[Mark]

I'm obsessed with Min.

[Hank]

That's excellent. And honestly, I'm not the biggest smash burger guy. And this is extremely, extremely good. I'm just having to process all this cuz I've never seen.

[Brandon]

This is a lot of food.

[Hank]

Swallowed any of it. All right, next up, they said we

[Brandon]

got to try their rigatoni. No Miny. I'm this beating me down. And he puts it back. That is awesome.

[Mark]

His top hundred is bangers Thousand.

[Hank]

Not as heavy as it looks.

[Brandon]

The crab hitting the pole.

[Hank]

Oops.

[Mark]

I love it.

[Isaac]

Is Chinese. Thank you.

[Kate]

Top five.

[Donnie]

It's good.

[Mark]

Grilled cheese, maybe top ten grill cheese.

[Isaac]

Grilled cheese for sure.

[Mark]

But against who?

[Hank]

The Vandy Whistler?

[Isaac]

Yeah, Vandy Whistle.

[Mark]

He was just literally vers the world.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I mean, Mincy versus Miny. Who can win?

[Kyle]

That'll be a good competition.

[Brandon]

Did you guys see Jonah Hill?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

What's his deal?

[Hank]

I'm not gonna say anything bad about Johnny Hill. They beat the out of me.

[Brandon]

He would annihilate you up.

[Jake]

You're bigger than him.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

He put in the record.

[Jake]

Said he beat the out of anybody as long as they're not bigger than him.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Hank]

Key caveat I did like how he started joking, joking, joking about halfway through.

[Brandon]

No, he was serious.

[Kyle]

Serious.

[Brandon]

He was dead.

[Hank]

No. Wait a goddamn minute.

[Brandon]

What's up?

[Hank]

What's up, boys?

[Donnie]

Hello.

[Jake]

See you guys. Welcome in.

[Brandon]

What's.

[Hank]

What's Dante leading here?

[Donnie]

He.

[Brandon]

His archetype right now. It's like, does he realize that everyone knows this guy? Like the. The guy who doesn't play any sports and then like, takes a fitness class when he's 45. He's like, I'm sick now.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

And they're private sessions.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Right. That's why I said the.

[Isaac]

The Jonah Hill.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Isaac]

The fat guy from Superb.

[Mark]

Oh, don't you dare. Oh, you're.

[Brandon]

I said the real takeaway from this is that his jiu jitsu instructor, like, is the best. Because he convinced Jonah Hill that he could annihilate other men.

[Kyle]

He probably.

[Mark]

He said, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Isaac]

It's also not really an insult. Like, Superbad's amazing.

[T.J.]

That's.

[Eddie]

Yeah. But I think he doesn't want it.

[Isaac]

Like, that's not all he is. But it's not crazy that he's most known for that.

[Eddie]

I think he's going through something too. Like he was supposed to come off a movie in like June and they're like, no, it's unreleasable.

[Jake]

What?

[Mark]

Yeah, like, because it's bad.

[Eddie]

I don't know. It's called Cut off with him and like Kristen Wiig. And it's like, they're like, no, this is unreleasable.

[Hank]

Huh. Sounds like those two would be able to make a pretty good movie. Yeah.

[Isaac]

And there's been way worse films that he's been in.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Weird.

[Jake]

Even if you. Yeah, even if he. He is a great fighter. I feel like asking people to come up on the street and with you is bad idea. That's a really bad idea. I feel like we're gonna get a follow up podcast in six months.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

I've actually got my ass kicked every day.

[Jay]

I.

[Jake]

So these last six months have been tough for me.

[Brandon]

Right. And.

[Jake]

And can't go anywhere without getting my ass.

[Brandon]

I don't know where he's taking classes, but I would assume he's probably paying a premium for private sessions. And I would also assume the instructor's like, yeah, you're black belt.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Yes.

[Mark]

You're a killing machine.

[Brandon]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Hank]

Wow.

[Brandon]

I've never seen someone progress so quickly. This is insane.

[Isaac]

Believe it or not, I've been called the fat guy from Superbad more times in my life than before.

[Eddie]

Dude, that's a shame. It's like one of the best comedies for him. And then McLovin doesn't like that. I don't think, like, you know.

[Mark]

No, McLovin doesn't like Jonah Hill.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Oh, really?

[Jake]

Yeah, he's kind of always been this way.

[Kyle]

He said he's an asshole.

[Jake]

He's been.

[Mark]

He's an asshole Miserable.

[Jake]

He's a little bitter.

[Kyle]

The male human spends his entire life behaving and socializing based on a hypothetical fight he'll never get into. It affects all of our actions and self beliefs.

[Hank]

Wow.

[Kyle]

But now what do you think he's going through now? Now he feels even more of a need to annihilate somebody.

[T.J.]

When. When we're in boot camp, they teach you karate and it's probably not even that in depth of like a karate. It's called Mcmap the Marine Corps martial arts program. And so you learn like, the most basic moves ever, but you get like. They give you like, a belt. And so you leave boot camp, you go home for a week. And I genuinely remember thinking, like, I hope somebody steps to me.

[Brandon]

I'll kill.

[T.J.]

I remember thinking. And we call it a case of the I wish A would because you think you're like. I remember showing my friends moves in the driveway, being like, yeah, you don't. You don't want me to do it any harder. I'll probably kill you. Like, I remember genuinely, like, thinking that. And then you and your buddies go out to the fleet and you get your asses beat in the bar.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

And you get your ass whooped.

[Jake]

I wish A would have put.

[T.J.]

But it's a case. That's what he's got. It's a case of that.

[Kyle]

I wish a motherfucker probably took the longest shower in the world last night with hypothetical, like 15 minutes standing idly, just perfectly envisioning how he would. If I just got mad enough, I'd. You tell tackle him to the ground and then wail on his face.

[Mark]

The hypothetical comebacks that I have in the shower are scathing and cutting.

[Kyle]

That's what really wastes water. Not AI Hypothetical men thinking about the

[Mark]

fights that men think it's more dangerous than Claude.

[T.J.]

Well, Kyle, with wrestling, like, is there a point where genuinely you used to think like, oh, I could.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you'd join the hell up.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Real combat athletes are extraordinarily humble about our ability to annihilate the layman.

[Hank]

Right.

[Brandon]

It is true, though, that, like, saying to someone, I could annihilate you means you probably can't. Because someone who could would never say that.

[Mark]

They would never say annihilate.

[Brandon]

They would just. And they just would never even say, like, I'm a badass. We would fuck you up. Yeah, you just them up.

[Mark]

That's it,

[Brandon]

man.

[Kyle]

It's. It's sad. You see what ha. Like, celebrities now are like, lamer than ever.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

People don't think celebrities are cool anymore.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Kate]

They come.

[Mark]

They're too accessible.

[Kyle]

Now they're going on podcast and we're seeing how, like, irredeemably lame they actually are.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

I don't think we should be shocked by that.

[Brandon]

Probably a good thing.

[Mark]

People are clowning Brady for being alone on the yacht.

[Kyle]

He was alone on a yacht.

[Brandon]

You didn't see that on his, like, 12 million dollar yacht.

[Kyle]

That sounds like it.

[Jake]

That's ideal. That sounds awesome.

[Eddie]

Works.

[Jake]

That's A perfect day out on the yacht.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I wouldn't be upset about being alone on a yacht. You're on a yacht.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

People are on him for this.

[Mark]

They're saying money doesn't buy happiness.

[T.J.]

That looks pretty happy to me. Be thrilled.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Just be like, oh, yeah, he.

[Mark]

That might be more fun with somebody.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

True.

[Hank]

Not 100% alone. Somebody's driving the damn thing. Yeah. Yeah.

[Eddie]

But to not take out your yacht for an event like, that's kind of badass.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

There's that stretch. Yeah. They. They just like paparazzi just sits in that stretch for Miami where everyone goes out.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That's where would come. Remember Gaz got caught on it.

[T.J.]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

The drone highlight video.

[T.J.]

I get that hard in my algorithm sometimes. Whatever. Wherever the Bokeh Inlet is. Do you guys ever get those?

[Brandon]

No.

[Mark]

Is that the real choppy one?

[T.J.]

I guess. It's a really tough inlet. And it's just this man, his whole thing. He just sits there and watch boats get up on the Bokeh Inlet.

[Kyle]

Like yachts.

[T.J.]

Just like big yachts. Or like the guy who looks super cool and confident and like all the women are on the front and then

[Kyle]

they hit and then bouncing everywhere.

[T.J.]

Yeah. You guys aren't watching inlet videos.

[Hank]

Can't say that.

[Eddie]

I am not opposing.

[Hank]

I'd watch an inlet video.

[Mark]

Absolutely.

[Eddie]

I'm also under fire for my bidet, I feel. Are you guys Dave on national television?

[Mark]

I am a firm believer you're not under fire.

[Hank]

Dave Portnoy is the only one.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Hank]

He's the only one that had a

[Mark]

problem with cold water. Is so refreshing.

[Jake]

What happened?

[Hank]

T. Bob goes on Wake Up Barstool this morning. And T. Bob, we do stock up, stock down. And T. Bob says, stock up bidets. I was at Eddie's party the other night.

[Mark]

T. Bob at your party?

[Hank]

That's what I had a problem with.

[Eddie]

He took a video of him and using the bidet. It's on.

[Brandon]

He posted shits everywhere.

[Hank]

He's the shitting his noodle.

[Jake]

T. Bob would also use the bidet without, like, he would just go in there.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Sit down and turn.

[Mark]

Yeah. Zesty ass.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jake]

So.

[Hank]

And he's like, yeah, it was nothing like having an ice cold water, you know, shot up there. And Dave stops the show. Stops the show cold. It's like you're telling me Eddie has a cold bidet. Apparently Dave has heated bidets.

[Eddie]

He also probably has a separate bidet.

[T.J.]

Right.

[Eddie]

You know, like how they like.

[Hank]

Like, have you ever seen the man said the line all My houses have warm bidets and it pissed me off.

[T.J.]

I almost feel like cold would be better.

[Mark]

It is. I think I was weirded out by warm. The height of insanity.

[Isaac]

Can you adjust the temperature?

[Jake]

I think I might be with boss man.

[Isaac]

It's just.

[Kyle]

I mean, I would prefer Eddie. I would prefer hot, but no way. I don't give a.

[Jay]

No.

[Mark]

It's a weird feeling.

[Jake]

I prefer just right. That's how I like it.

[Donnie]

All right.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Here at Eddie's party, it's been absolutely fantastic. Great drinks, great people, unbelievable environment. Out of know if I do, but there's a bidet in the basement bathroom. I've never used bidet before.

[Kate]

Let's.

[Brandon]

I think I just got to flip the switch. Let's see how it goes.

[Mark]

That was a genuine reaction.

[Brandon]

No way, dude.

[Kate]

No way.

[Brandon]

Wait. Did I just turn it off?

[T.J.]

On.

[Jake]

Wait.

[Brandon]

What. What the have we been doing, dude?

[T.J.]

Well, I have a question then. Your butt's all wet, so I'm assuming you still have to wipe it. But then doesn't the toilet paper get stuck to your watery butt?

[Mark]

Some have dryers. I bet you Dave's do.

[T.J.]

Okay.

[Mark]

But you stab it.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

You just dab it.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Jake]

You. If you don't use a bidet, you have all in your butt.

[Donnie]

Sure.

[Jake]

And you get that, you know.

[T.J.]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

If there was shits smeared all over your dinner table, Kate, how would you clean it up? Would you use just a dry paper towel?

[T.J.]

You're right. You're right, K.B.

[Kyle]

why? Yeah. That makes me think, why do we. Why is wiping enough with just dry?

[T.J.]

I don't think it is.

[Eddie]

I shouldn't do it.

[Kyle]

But I still do it every day.

[T.J.]

And you have. You've said yes, Kate. Tougher poops. You've had a smearier poops than those.

[Kyle]

Right.

[T.J.]

You don't use a bidet wipes.

[Kyle]

But I know they won't. My apartment doesn't allow it.

[Mark]

I don't think the wipes.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah, there's a flood.

[Kyle]

That was my last apartment.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

Damn.

[Eddie]

Do you have bidet?

[Brandon]

I do now.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

I also got a problem. This is a not relatable problem. But my toilet in my bathroom in my bedroom opens automatically when you stand in front of it.

[Kate]

What?

[Brandon]

And now I just stand in front of toilets being like, why aren't you open?

[Hank]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

Where is it?

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

It's incredible.

[Kyle]

That should be.

[Brandon]

It just senses you and that should

[Kyle]

be middle class tech. I can't believe we have to.

[Brandon]

Incredible. Yeah, it's incredible. I never touched my toilet and it flushes on its own, too.

[Jake]

Ten years ago, I got really into home automation stuff and then I, like, kind of just quit cold turkey. I was like, kind of like, this is too much. This is all the. This. Probably when it happened, I could program my bidet to spray my. With a vocal command.

[Mark]

Did you set it up? What did you say?

[Jake]

I did it through like, my Google or Alexa or whatever. I had to spray my ass. I was like, bidet, spray my ass. And it took. It took like an entire weekend to get it set up. It was so, like, not worth it. I had like a remote. You just push a button and it was the circumvent. Pressing one button instead of pressing one button.

[Donnie]

I would.

[Mark]

But that would be a funny thing. Like if your buddy. You yell that.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Hank]

And then.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Jake]

I was like, what am I.

[Mark]

That's. That's a lot.

[Jake]

This is probably.

[Mark]

Brennan, have you used a bidet?

[Hank]

No. Never used it. Don't have one.

[Jake]

Scared you might like it?

[Hank]

Scared of my luck. Not too European. I just. I don't know.

[Mark]

It ruins shitting anywhere else because then you don't feel clean.

[T.J.]

The water comes from the tank. The toilet tank?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

Just freaks me out for some reason. I don't know.

[Eddie]

No. Yeah. Like, I don't even.

[Mark]

You feel like it's still dirty water. Again, the op.

[Brandon]

The.

[Mark]

The flip side of the coin is having shit in your ass.

[Hank]

True.

[T.J.]

That's true.

[Mark]

Again, we circle back to that.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Like, mine's just an attachment. Do you have like a full separate toilet bidet?

[Brandon]

No.

[Eddie]

No.

[Brandon]

It's like a nozzle that comes down.

[Eddie]

Okay. Okay. So it's an attachment as well.

[Jake]

Mine. Mine is replace the toilet seat.

[Mark]

That's what mine is.

[Jake]

Pop the seat off, put a. The seat on. That has the mechanism with it.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Jake]

Plug it in. Mine, you have to plug in same.

[Eddie]

Okay, yes, because I.

[Brandon]

But you do that every time.

[Jake]

No, no, that's how you installed it.

[Brandon]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[T.J.]

He has to install a whole bit.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's like. That's too much, dude. I bring it with you.

[Eddie]

But I stayed at Caesars one time, and it was. There was a whole nother thing.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You squat over it.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That one freaks me out.

[Mark]

I haven't done that one.

[Jake]

They had that at the. What's that place in New Orleans or. Not New Orleans. We went to the final four. The. The Lazy River, The. I just got here. The.

[Hank]

Oh.

[Brandon]

In Houston.

[Eddie]

Houston?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jake]

In Louisiana.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Wherever we were. The casino. I remember our rooms had One of them.

[Brandon]

Brandon, did you golf this weekend?

[Hank]

Don't even ask, dude.

[Brandon]

Why?

[Hank]

Well, Saturday was a washout. Saturday was a washout. And then yesterday, me and the Blutmans were testing all day.

[Brandon]

Oh, man.

[Hank]

And I was building my brutal weekend. It was tough. I didn't get to play. I didn't play golf Friday because it was raining. I didn't play golf Saturday. Now I'm going on week and I haven't played golf. I can't play golf tomorrow. Yeah. It's crazy how. How much y' all have ruined my life, making me launch this college football show.

[Isaac]

You say that after we paid Josh 40 bucks to come on your show.

[Brandon]

He was balling.

[Hank]

Happened. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Was it? So did you take pictures of birds?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mark]

What did you do?

[Hank]

Not. I went. I went to the national Friday, so I didn't get home till late. And then Saturday, I just. I could have golfed yesterday, but it was car path only, and that's how lazy I am these days. I called out to the club and said, are we playing? They said, yeah. And they said, it's car path only. And I was like. Like, I can't. No. No, sir, I'm not doing that. Which means, you know, you drive.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Hank]

You never get off the path. You can't drive straight to your ball. And that's how. That's how pathetic I am. So I didn't golf.

[Brandon]

I'm sorry.

[Hank]

It's okay.

[Mark]

Did you figure out the dongle issue?

[Hank]

I did. Dongles. Not. Not cheap.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know. I think as an update.

[Brandon]

I think he. Yeah, he has an update.

[Mark]

I think he might confront.

[Jake]

Oh, shit.

[Hank]

George.

[Mark]

George, George. I think he. Donnie.

[Hank]

George been taking him for a ride

[Mark]

on Donnie that he might be getting scammed.

[Hank]

There he is. I see him.

[Brandon]

Oh, Kobe Bryant out eight to 10 weeks. That's not bad.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Kyle]

That isn't bad. Great.

[Hank]

That's an upgrade. I just. Oh, okay.

[Kyle]

I never heard of him.

[Jake]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I. I thought it was the deceased basketball player.

[Hank]

I just saw Chef Donnie's reflection walking towards us. What happened to him? Did he.

[Mark]

He sense you want to go get him?

[T.J.]

Should he be a little afraid?

[Kyle]

Wait, so he thinks George scanned them completely?

[Mark]

Yeah, I think so.

[Hank]

George did.

[Mark]

He stole his machine and took money from him. He also told him he didn't scam. He robbed him.

[Hank]

He told him he's the only person in Illinois that can fix it. There's probably 30 guys within a. Within a 10 mile radius.

[T.J.]

Isn't the biggest arcade in the world.

[Brandon]

There's something about George.

[T.J.]

30 minutes outside of here, he's so

[Hank]

good now he can sit cross legged. I, I true.

[Mark]

Donnie showed me a picture we can't show, but it's the whole family of the whole George family sitting cross legged

[Hank]

in front of the machine I do love. That was his measure of how good the guy is at repairing computers.

[T.J.]

There's a durag. He sits cross legged. Duh.

[Jay]

What happens when you lock 18 co workers in an office for one week to compete for a quarter million dollars of cash? This is Surviving Barstool Season 5, presented by Rumble Premium. Each episode released three hours early. So get it ad free before anyone else. Only when you join Rumble Premium. Surviving barstool premieres Sunday, August 9th at 5pm on Rumble Premium and everywhere else

[Hank]

at 8pm if you're a. I'm not saying George's. I'm saying in general, if you are a scammer. You love to see this guy coming, huh, Donnie? Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah, for sure.

[Isaac]

He's easily.

[Hank]

There's the guy back in New York.

[Brandon]

What are you wearing, Donnie?

[Hank]

Why are you.

[Mark]

You got the gibberish.

[Brandon]

These little deal sickos.

[Hank]

Jib.

[Donnie]

Yeah, man.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

What's up? What I miss?

[Hank]

Do we have an update on George?

[Brandon]

Scammed even.

[Donnie]

Nick told me today he might be a scam artist based.

[Hank]

We could have told you that Friday.

[Donnie]

Well, he's fixed the machine.

[Brandon]

Twice.

[Donnie]

He's done it.

[Jake]

That's the thing.

[Kate]

It should.

[Mark]

No, he hasn't. It keeps breaking.

[Donnie]

That's just because it's. I think his arcade machines just break. They're not meant to be used.

[Brandon]

Wait, he fixed it and gave it back to you?

[Donnie]

He?

[Jake]

Yes.

[Hank]

You're saying twice.

[Donnie]

Well, he. Well, once.

[Brandon]

That's actually. Yeah, what you said makes no sense.

[Hank]

Arcade machines not meant to be.

[Donnie]

All the arcade games just break, I think.

[Mark]

No, but, but yours isn't really that old.

[Brandon]

Arcades get. Arcade games get played a lot, right?

[Donnie]

I think you have to. That's why his Christmas tree timer. You have to play it every day. And I guess the timer was supposed to play it for us, but we never did that.

[Hank]

But arcade machines break and there are people that can fix them. I don't know that you found one of those people.

[Donnie]

Well, you. You might be right there. You might be correct.

[Hank]

Thank you.

[Jake]

Yeah, it's unfortunate you guys have a new revelation. We just put.

[Donnie]

No, I just found more pictures of his kids at my place. Or his son on your phone. Yeah.

[Brandon]

So you took them?

[Donnie]

Well, Wolf took these. Wolf sent me. Ah, these are awful. Wolf.

[Mark]

Does Wolf Think he's a scam artist?

[Donnie]

Well, he treats Wolf very kindly. Actually, Wolf has showed me the text that he sends him, and it's much more cordial.

[Brandon]

He walks all over you.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know about walks all over me. He just.

[Brandon]

Well, sounds like it.

[Donnie]

He's just snappy. I think he knows it's two, like, smart guys talking computers in one room type of conversation.

[Brandon]

That's what you think's happening?

[Donnie]

Could be. That's my only explanation.

[Kyle]

How much money have you given him total?

[Donnie]

I think it's like 200 for him just to walk in the door. Oh, my God.

[Mark]

And then how much money worth? Like, what's the value on the olive oil?

[Donnie]

A couple hundred bucks, probably there. Okay, I'd say. And then Wolf's might probably get. I don't know how much Wolf. I haven't. I didn't ask how much Wolf actually paid him. I haven't.

[Kyle]

Both are paying him.

[Donnie]

I have to pay him this time. And you could be a thousand still.

[Kyle]

Ow him.

[Donnie]

I don't know if I owe him. Maybe he has my machine. He's kind of holding it hostage.

[Kyle]

Pay him just in case.

[Donnie]

I should ask him if he can just bring it back.

[Isaac]

How much is it worth it to have this fixed?

[Donnie]

It's not. It's also not my machine. I don't own it. It's Wolf's machine. I'm just holding it.

[Hank]

I think you do own it, right? I don't want to put it moved out and said, you just keep it.

[Mark]

Sounds like Wolf gave it to you.

[Brandon]

He moved out.

[Hank]

Wolf moved out.

[Donnie]

Wolf moved out, and then I moved out. We both moved, but.

[Hank]

Well, when he moved, he didn't take.

[Mark]

You paid the movers.

[Donnie]

He moved out, and I stayed there for another year, and that's when Peter. And then we both moved. I moved, but you.

[Hank]

But you kept the machine.

[Donnie]

I kept the machine because what else was I gonna do?

[Brandon]

And what's up with Peter?

[Mark]

He's rotten.

[Brandon]

Peter's just rotten Peter.

[Jay]

That's right. That's right.

[Brandon]

Bad guy.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And wait, what's the Rob guy? What's it. He's Bad Rob. Bad Rob.

[T.J.]

He's the hacker.

[Brandon]

Bad Rob's a hacker wrecker.

[Jake]

Yep.

[Donnie]

It's quite the crew. And then we have a. I have a rug guy. Marinos.

[Mark]

You've told me about Marinos. He gives you a good deal on rugs.

[Brandon]

What's the rug, Titus?

[Jake]

You.

[Mark]

You'd use Marinos? Yes.

[Donnie]

Marinos is a good dude rug guy. He's he's straightforward. No.

[Hank]

How many rugs are you buying?

[Donnie]

A couple here and there.

[Mark]

You're getting ten thousand dollar rugs.

[Jake]

No, I'm not a thousand dollar rug.

[Brandon]

You have a rug dealer?

[Donnie]

I have a rug dealer, yeah. T.J. look, I think. I think I retweeted it on Viva. He said he's a really good rug dealer.

[Brandon]

Is that the guy?

[Isaac]

Is that the guy who rolls up in the rugs?

[Brandon]

No, he's actually.

[Donnie]

His family had a shipping crate go missing from Turkey, and 10 years later it showed up in California. So he has just a shipping container full of Persian rugs that he sells out of his garage.

[Hank]

That sounds.

[Brandon]

That doesn't sound like that sounds.

[Hank]

Scammers.

[Mark]

And he. He got you.

[Donnie]

They're handmade. And he said they go up in value because the girls in Iran are going to school now instead of the factory fake rugs.

[Brandon]

Hold on, hold on.

[T.J.]

Wait.

[Brandon]

Not only that, but look at this. I think that 10 years later, he just happened to find his shipping container.

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

I was texting the Greek guy that I bought a table off of in Facebook Marketplace.

[Donnie]

Marinos. What is it?

[Eddie]

Marino?

[Brandon]

No, some random Greek guy on Facebook.

[Kate]

Marketplace.

[Brandon]

Good guy. It wasn't the one Greek guy that you named?

[Jake]

Yeah. What the was that, dude? What was that?

[Brandon]

Well, I know he said.

[Kyle]

All he said was a Greek guy.

[Brandon]

And you're like, oh, I know a Greek.

[Kate]

How much?

[Brandon]

How much Doritos.

[Donnie]

Greek guy on Facebook Marketplace that sells things. So I thought maybe.

[Mark]

Oh, his name was either Spiro Sapanos.

[Isaac]

I can't remember.

[Eddie]

But he was a good dude.

[Mark]

Tennis coach.

[Hank]

10.

[Brandon]

Dude.

[Donnie]

It's the same. This is the same guy.

[Mark]

He's a tennis guy.

[Donnie]

He's a tennis. And your wife bought rugs from him.

[Brandon]

Wait, it was.

[Mark]

That is a huge w. Apologize.

[Jake]

All right, I'm sorry.

[Kyle]

I'm.

[Brandon]

Holy Tony, that's incredible.

[Mark]

Yeah, but Marino's told you you needed a rug for your master bedroom with the echo.

[Donnie]

No, no, I told you that this morning. You don't confuse Marinos with my own knowledge.

[Mark]

I thought you got that from Marinos.

[Brandon]

Yeah, don't do that.

[Mark]

No, I didn't know. Master.

[Donnie]

That rug is pre merinos. That's rugs.com. oh, that's rugs.

[Jake]

Generic rugs like that.

[Donnie]

What are you talking about, Mark?

[Jake]

Rugs are so expensive. I need so many rugs, and I'm saving up for them.

[Donnie]

Not. I'm not giving you my guy, so. That's unfortunate.

[Hank]

He's told us all. Your guy.

[Donnie]

Well, you don't have his contact. He's hard to find.

[Mark]

Wait, found him on actual accident.

[Donnie]

His wife probably found him.

[Brandon]

Rugs from the 10 year shipping container.

[Donnie]

Yes. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Which again, I don't think his dad's

[Donnie]

dying, so he's got. He doesn't really care about selling.

[Jake]

Oh, yeah.

[Hank]

Oh, okay, so it's a. It's not a scammer because how many rugs in his dad's.

[Mark]

How many rugs fit in the shipping container? When did he find.

[Donnie]

Tons? I don't know. A million, Maybe not.

[Brandon]

And they just washed up in San Diego and they're like, yeah, that's mine.

[Donnie]

I didn't pry, I didn't ask. Like when some guy says he found a shipping container full of rugs, you don't ask questions.

[Hank]

I think you do.

[Donnie]

No, no.

[Mark]

You can get a good deal on a rug.

[Donnie]

You get half off Persian rugs. You get like a rug that would probably cost 10 grand for like 4 grand.

[Hank]

But wait, still.

[Jake]

That's buying fake rugs.

[T.J.]

How do you know it's real Persian?

[Donnie]

Because you can tell if it's hand woven and they're. Usually they're signed.

[Kyle]

This is name Merino because Marino is

[Donnie]

a type of flip or I'll get over and see if it's machine or hand woven pretty easily.

[Brandon]

Wait, so can you just say like, if a shipping container washes up on a beach, can you be like, yeah, I lost that 10 years ago.

[T.J.]

If you're the first one to touch it and you say dibs, Yeah, I

[Donnie]

don't think it washed up on the beach. I don't think it's like life, Apollo. I don't think that's how it happens.

[Hank]

After these people find you.

[Donnie]

No, this. I find this guy, I find this guy I found.

[T.J.]

Look how tired this.

[Donnie]

I found this guy I found.

[Hank]

But like the guy who gave you the pills in New York, the guy who.

[Donnie]

The hypnotist I found.

[Hank]

The guy who's fixing your.

[Donnie]

I have a good crew of guys. You could say it doesn't sound.

[Hank]

Doesn't sound like it.

[Brandon]

Sounds like they all got a problem.

[Donnie]

Eclectic, you could say.

[Hank]

Rare whack, right, Robin? You blind?

[Donnie]

The hypnotist is a good hypnotist if you. If you're weaker in the mind. He wasn't. He wasn't strong enough for me, but he's good.

[Kate]

Good.

[Mark]

So it's like a good entry level hypnotist?

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

If you want to stop, like smoking or some. I guess that's. Excuse me.

[Mark]

Are you certain that Marino says it Ripping you off?

[Donnie]

No, no. But I trust him.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Donnie]

I'm an honest guy. I'm a trustworthy guy. You could say you are.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I could tell by his rugs, by the smell of his house that it, like, it seemed like it was good.

[Brandon]

What does this house smell like?

[Donnie]

Rugs and. Like dirt.

[Mark]

Rugs and dirt.

[Donnie]

The basement smells like old rugs. Like a wet rug. You never, you know, a wet rug.

[Brandon]

That doesn't mean.

[Jake]

I do want. I want my rugs to smell like rugs.

[Brandon]

But that doesn't mean that he's selling real rugs.

[Isaac]

That would just prove he has rugs.

[Donnie]

They look as real as I can tell.

[T.J.]

Wait, he's selling them out of his house?

[Donnie]

Yeah, he sells them out of his garage.

[Brandon]

How many do you have?

[Donnie]

Two, three.

[Jake]

Good God.

[Donnie]

Two rugs and a runner.

[Jake]

Mark Dynamoney here in Chicago.

[Donnie]

No, it's not. Actually, it's. That's not what it is.

[Mark]

Hey, do you. You want to.

[Hank]

That's like 10 grand worth of rugs.

[Donnie]

No, it's not worth 10 grand worth of rugs. I'm not telling you how much I spent on rugs.

[Hank]

4,000 a piece. Did you not.

[Donnie]

I did not say they're 4,000 a piece. I said you could get a big $10,000 rug for 4,000. That doesn't mean I own one of those. That's what I said. And that's now how. I didn't say it.

[Brandon]

So how much did you spend on the rugs?

[Donnie]

I spent a decent amount, but I didn't spend too much. I spent what I wanted to spend.

[Hank]

What's the decent amount to you?

[Mark]

Was it cash only?

[Donnie]

It was. It was Zeller cash.

[Brandon]

I'll say a number.

[Donnie]

I'm not gonna play this game.

[Brandon]

Both rugs and. And the runner. I'll say a number. You say, oh, higher.

[Donnie]

I'm not playing this game.

[Hank]

Six grand.

[Donnie]

No. So it was higher, Lower.

[Hank]

Oh, yeah. Four grand.

[Donnie]

I don't know. I can't remember. Actually, I don't remember.

[Mark]

I bought him.

[Donnie]

I bought him an increment.

[Hank]

Four grand.

[Donnie]

I bought him in more increments. I don't know.

[Brandon]

But he's.

[Mark]

He's not running out of rugs.

[Donnie]

No, he is running out fast. He's running out.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Finally.

[Isaac]

Gotta get these deals now.

[Mark]

When you went to his house in his basement, was it packed?

[Donnie]

Yeah, but packed, but also, like, slowly leaving, like lowering.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Did he tell you?

[Donnie]

He says as soon as he lists them, they go. So some of these. Some of these I bought that are unlisted. And like, that's how you get a good deal.

[Hank]

Unlisted rug.

[Donnie]

If you list it, it's gone. You probably won't even see it tomorrow.

[T.J.]

But you found him on Facebook. Marketplace. I got over to my house. Go in my basement.

[Donnie]

Yes. But I got him through a friend, and a friend texted him, say, hey, this guy's cool. He's going to text you.

[Brandon]

That's how most rug deals go down.

[Donnie]

Yeah,

[Jay]

that's very.

[Donnie]

I got my rug buddy.

[Mark]

It's one letter away.

[Donnie]

The guy that referred him.

[Brandon]

Don't worry, he's not a cop.

[Donnie]

It's a similar process as to buying drugs. You could say again. Yeah, but the guy that referred him to me also, he has a sound system, is how I got my sound system guy. From the same kid. So this guy has other guys.

[Mark]

Who's your sound system guy?

[Donnie]

I haven't used him yet, but he's a guy that used to send a picture and you send a price and he builds a sound system for you.

[Hank]

So many guys. You got a couple.

[Jake]

I got a guy.

[Donnie]

Dog trainers.

[Brandon]

We get them all in here.

[Mark]

You got a dog trainer?

[Donnie]

It's a woman.

[Hank]

Do you have a dog?

[Brandon]

You don't have a dog.

[Donnie]

I know, but I have to buy

[Hank]

it

[Jake]

by a dog.

[Donnie]

I have a woman that can train dogs. She also bartend.

[Hank]

You have a dog trainer.

[Donnie]

But it's a neck tattoo like this. It looks nuts.

[Mark]

Can I. I need. I need her.

[Brandon]

Why do you have a dog trainer?

[Donnie]

Just in case. I like to collect people just in case I need them.

[Brandon]

It's like saying I. I have a pool cleaner.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I have a pool. But in case you do it, isn't it nice you had someone to call?

[Hank]

You have a rug guy. You have a dog trainer. You have a hypnotist.

[Mark]

Big Buck Hunter guy.

[Donnie]

Yep.

[Hank]

You have a video game guy.

[Donnie]

And they're all kind of hacker sound system guy.

[Jake]

You ever just go to the store?

[Eddie]

No.

[Jake]

And buy what you need?

[Donnie]

Sometimes, yeah. House of toiletries, paper and pens.

[Brandon]

That kind of house of toiletries.

[Mark]

It's not a store.

[T.J.]

Some of us call that a story.

[Jake]

I hot.

[Kyle]

Where is that?

[Donnie]

I mean, those are the items I buy. Those are the items I like to buy.

[Jake]

The ihot.

[Donnie]

Those are the items I get.

[Hank]

Toiletries, papers and paper and pens.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I mean, that was. I was just going quick, but yes, sure, sure. I get other things. Dishes. Isn't that just Walgreens, Sometimes Office Max, sometimes Office Depot for your toiletries.

[Brandon]

Office Depot does not have toilet.

[Donnie]

There's one in Lincoln Park.

[Brandon]

It has toiletries.

[Donnie]

You can also return odd things.

[Brandon]

You can answer.

[Jake]

You go to Office Depot to get deodorant.

[Donnie]

No, I don't. I have a French guy I order it from. That's gonna sound like I'm making it up.

[Brandon]

That's like the worst person to do it. Guy Yoder.

[Donnie]

French brand. That's aged.

[Brandon]

That's crazy.

[Donnie]

No, they make goods. They make candles and deodorant.

[Brandon]

It's similar, but he's French. Well, yeah, but they stink.

[Jake]

They stink. Oh, bad.

[Brandon]

They don't wear deodorant famously.

[Donnie]

I know, but that's an old. That's like an old thing. That's the new era. The. It's the new era of French.

[Mark]

The French smell good now.

[Donnie]

Yeah, they're nicer and they smell good. We're off track here, guys.

[Mark]

Are you're certain his name's Marinos?

[Kyle]

What is the track.

[Donnie]

Yeah, 100%. Now, I'm not gonna be like, get a rug. They're gonna be gone. But there you go.

[Kyle]

Marino is a style of rug. Correct.

[Donnie]

Not that I know.

[Brandon]

It's quarterback.

[Mark]

Is that how he spells it?

[Donnie]

It's Marino. It's Marinos is the Greek guy.

[Mark]

It's a good looking rug.

[Donnie]

I think I have hersion or something.

[Eddie]

What?

[Mark]

Persian.

[Hank]

Say hersion. You had a herschen Persian with an H? Is that what you said?

[Donnie]

Let me see.

[Hank]

It's.

[Donnie]

I know my.

[Brandon]

It's a female Persian rug.

[Kate]

What?

[Donnie]

Oh, I also. I have a good cleaner guy, but that's just who everyone has.

[Kyle]

A Mario.

[Hank]

What kind of cleaner? Yeah.

[Jake]

What do you mean by that?

[Brandon]

Like blood.

[Donnie]

Like a guy you call on his team comes and they clean. It's like a cleaner.

[Brandon]

Yeah, a cleaning service.

[Jake]

Like.

[Donnie]

Yeah, cleaning service.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, that's normal.

[Jake]

Like.

[Donnie]

I got it.

[Jake]

You mean like actual cleaning?

[Donnie]

They make little. They make little bows.

[Jake]

No, not like cleaning little bodies.

[Brandon]

Little bows for what?

[Donnie]

He drives a cyber truck, though.

[Brandon]

We're like one question behind.

[Mark]

Yeah. Donnie's in the distant future.

[Brandon]

Let's see, what are the bows that he makes?

[Donnie]

He makes bows with, like, my towels and.

[Mark]

Oh, wow.

[T.J.]

Oh, the details.

[Brandon]

They do the toilet paper all hurts.

[Donnie]

Is the name of the rug Hurts. Hdr. Yeah, sure.

[Mark]

H E R R A Z. I forgot.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

You were in Iraq.

[Brandon]

Wait, so how much do those go? Can you show us? How much?

[Jake]

Were you in a wreck? Shopping. Okay. Why were you there?

[Jay]

Women.

[T.J.]

They do be shopping.

[Hank]

So you. You.

[Brandon]

You're buying stolen rugs?

[Donnie]

Potentially, but I don't know that for a cheap. Yeah, maybe when you say it like that, it makes it sound like something sketchy. But I don't know. He's a tennis coach. I don't think he'd lie.

[Isaac]

Why do you think tennis coaches variously honest people?

[Mark]

I don't see any.

[Brandon]

What are these? Can you search Google?

[Donnie]

I don't know what this website is. Never heard of this. Wash me?

[Brandon]

No.

[T.J.]

Oh,

[Donnie]

that's not how you spell his name either.

[Brandon]

But M A R search for her is rugs.

[Donnie]

Ari Nose version. H E R I Z is just the name of a rug, I think. See, it's the style.

[Mark]

Is he like a cagey guy?

[Isaac]

Would.

[Mark]

He would.

[Jake]

Good God. $5,000.

[Donnie]

Donnie's got it like a piece of art. Rugs also appreciate in value. You buy a nice rug, you can sell it for double.

[Jake]

You bought it loaded. This is crazy, Mark.

[Donnie]

I'm pretty sure you can afford it. Look at your wrist. The Pepsi I'm talking about. Yeah, that's a couple rugs right there, man.

[Mark]

He's got a couple rugs on the wrist.

[Donnie]

You want to start throwing around.

[Mark]

Who has a lot of money?

[Donnie]

Let's relax, Mark.

[Mark]

Donnie, you got a rug on the wrist too.

[Donnie]

But let's relax. Let's all relax. Let's all relax about how much you're spending on rugs here.

[T.J.]

Please.

[Jake]

Let's all relax.

[Brandon]

Let's all just.

[Jake]

Everybody relax.

[Hank]

What's on your wrist, Mark?

[Mark]

It's a Pepsi.

[Jake]

Pepsi?

[Brandon]

What is that?

[Donnie]

It's a nice watch.

[Mark]

Nice watch. We don't need to do this.

[Donnie]

Well, Mark started it. Let's just say. I'm just saying, you two did start it.

[Hank]

You two are the best content duo at the company.

[Kate]

You know that?

[Mark]

Would you take Mark to. Mark needs a rug.

[Donnie]

Take him.

[Mark]

We've actually spoken about. We went to the same bro.

[Donnie]

Yeah, if we get a tennis lesson first. Okay. That's how he operates. You got to do tennis sometimes. If I. If you bring.

[Kyle]

No.

[Kate]

What?

[Hank]

No, you don't.

[Donnie]

If I bring a friend, it would be rude not to suggest a tennis lesson because last time I saw him, I said it was. I said I would take lessons in tennis from him.

[Hank]

Coming to. To get a rug?

[Donnie]

No, you're not required to.

[Jake]

But I.

[Donnie]

Last time I was there, I suggested I should. I said what? I would like to take a tennis lesson for you. I can't show up again without doing the 10 tennis. So if we have two people, we'll play each other for a rug.

[Mark]

Oh, I love that.

[Hank]

What?

[Brandon]

Mark and Donnie gotta play.

[Jake]

So we have a rug match.

[Brandon]

Yeah, a Rug man.

[Jake]

We play each other and the winner gets a rug.

[Donnie]

I don't know.

[Mark]

The winner gets the right.

[Donnie]

The right to buy a rug for thousands of dollars. Something like that. You said your wife is looking for rugs. Be a nice present, birthday present for your child.

[Jake]

I didn't say.

[Mark]

Look at you.

[Hank]

One year.

[Jake]

My wife was looking for rugs.

[Donnie]

Maybe I just heard you wrong. I'm pretty sure you said that.

[Jake]

Didn't I said I'm looking for rug?

[Hank]

He probably said that.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Okay. Well, if you're looking for a rug, your wife's looking for a rug. It's a happy marriage.

[Jay]

Wow.

[Donnie]

All right.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Jesus. Why were we here?

[Donnie]

I don't know. You called me and he.

[Mark]

Oh, we wanted. You want an update on George?

[T.J.]

Oh, George.

[Isaac]

Oh, yeah.

[Donnie]

Nightmare. Let me text him. I thought I already did.

[Brandon]

Here, I'll do an ad while you text him. All right. Jason Statham stars in Mutiny. It's Die Hard on a boat. From the director of Plane. From the star of the Beekeeper, the Meg and the Expendables. A one man army expose an international conspiracy uncover human trafficking ring from one of the most defining action stars of the last 25 years. Mutiny only in theaters August 21st. The whole office went and saw it. Awesome movie coming out in a couple weeks. Three weeks, basically. Mutiny movies are back. Spider man crushed.

[Jake]

Definitely are.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Odyssey.

[Donnie]

I still can't see it. There's too many theaters. Or too not enough seats.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Or are you going to be. You're going to go see it in 70.

[Donnie]

I'm trying to see it in 70,

[Jake]

but I'll go with you.

[Donnie]

I'll settle for whatever.

[Jake]

Yeah, sure.

[Kyle]

I'll go with you.

[Mark]

Soonest ticket I can get was for the 31st alone.

[Jake]

Same. So that'd be perfect. That's.

[Donnie]

Let's not take two peas in the pod.

[Jake]

That's.

[Donnie]

Then you sit on.

[Mark]

You guys should go alone together.

[Jake]

I, I, I only go to movies alone, so if you do too, we can go together.

[Kate]

What?

[Mark]

That's.

[Donnie]

Clearly you're missing the definition of alone.

[Mark]

But there's still other people in the theater.

[Jake]

But I'm saying I've been dying to find someone else who likes to go alone. And I finally found it.

[Donnie]

Well, it's not. I'll zoom you in.

[Mark]

I do think you two have a ton in common.

[Donnie]

Yeah?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

What's that?

[Mark]

You guys. You like the finer things. You like traveling abroad? You like fine foods. You're both argumentative.

[T.J.]

Have you ever seen.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Oh, there's no chance. See, I Saw you try to water ski at camp last year. You couldn't even get up.

[Jake]

I got up.

[Donnie]

No, you didn't.

[Jake]

You didn't see me water ski.

[Kate]

The.

[Jake]

The boat driver, the 16 year old driving the boat, turned around, said, I've never seen anybody get up like this.

[Donnie]

Actually, he said that to me, but stealing words out of my mouth.

[Mark]

What's the boat driver's name?

[Jake]

He said that, though.

[Mark]

His name was Boaty.

[Jake]

Also, how did I steal the words out of your mouth when he said that to you?

[Donnie]

I don't know, man.

[Jake]

Yeah, exactly.

[Donnie]

Look, if you get up this year, I'll take you skiing.

[Jay]

Whoa.

[Jake]

You want to see me get it up?

[Donnie]

Do a water skiing. Water skiing session. You and me in the morning, early 5am 30.

[Jake]

All right.

[Mark]

Do you have a photo of your rug?

[Donnie]

Maybe. I don't really want to show it, though.

[Jay]

It's personal.

[Donnie]

I don't have, like, a straight up.

[Mark]

But what if somebody dms you? They're like, I'll give you 10 grand for that right now.

[Donnie]

I don't want to sell it.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Donnie]

I like the rug. I'm partial to it.

[Mark]

Are you.

[Donnie]

Do you.

[Mark]

Are you worried when people are stepping on it?

[Donnie]

No, because the rug is meant to be stepped on. You can't get too attached. I mean, if someone, like, stains on it, sure. But, like, rugs that you. People step on, you got to clean every so often and you're fine. Or you just. You know, if I ever had, like, a big party, I'd roll it up and put it in a different room.

[Isaac]

Okay.

[Jake]

You put the rug away for the

[Donnie]

party for, like, a massive blowout? Yeah, but I'm not having those anymore. That was just. That was more about my last place. It's not.

[Jake]

This new place isn't a massive blowout place?

[Donnie]

Not. No, not a massive blowout. Small blowout maybe, but not massive.

[Jake]

Tiny little blowout.

[Donnie]

Yep, exactly. Mark,

[Jake]

you all right?

[Donnie]

I'm doing grand. How are you?

[Jake]

Yeah, you're gonna. You're gonna. Do you see the guy jump off

[Donnie]

the Empire State Building or the.

[Jake]

I guess that. But yeah, the guy in Wisconsin. Have we talked to you about that?

[Donnie]

I have not heard about this. Man in Wisconsin. What's up?

[Jake]

We're gonna.

[Hank]

Yeah, we told you about the wheelchair.

[Brandon]

You're going, what's this?

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, I'm down, but for camp. You guys are jumping in a quarry.

[Donnie]

I heard a wheelchair.

[Hank]

Yeah, the guy.

[Brandon]

Mayor of Cooperstown, Wisconsin.

[Donnie]

Oh, okay. Sick. What's Cooperstone?

[Jake]

You've seen his videos.

[Donnie]

I don't Think so. I think Viva's tagged me in the like. I think I've seen the clips, but the beehive, is it be a Deutsche?

[Brandon]

Yeah, they jump off. Shit.

[Donnie]

Oh great. I'm in.

[Mark]

Are you cool with jumping off?

[Donnie]

Yeah, I like. I haven't done a quarry jump in a while, but there used to be when you had to wear shoes, you

[Jake]

did the death dive and stuff.

[Donnie]

I've death dovin, but I'm not good at it. I've death diving or whatever of death dove.

[Brandon]

How, how, how high up?

[Donnie]

Like higher than the high dive. So like 10, 15ft.

[Isaac]

I don't know.

[Donnie]

Major. Thank you. It was in meters 10 higher than the high dive. So I have a video of it probably.

[Brandon]

Yeah, send it to us. I want to see it. Oh, tj, do you have the video from the national? Brandon Walker.

[Jake]

Brandon Walker from Barstool Sports.

[Kate]

From Barstool Sports.

[Brandon]

And I'm here at the National. First of all, Brandon, how are we

[Kate]

liking the show so far?

[Hank]

It's a lot. There's a lot of rooms, there's a lot of people. I don't like people. I like memorabilia and collectibles and it's everywhere. So I. Is that Doug's? Doug's. Hold on, I gotta finish this interview and then I gotta hug you.

[Kate]

Holy Frank.

[Brandon]

The tank just.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

No, no.

[Kate]

Oh, you shoot him away.

[Hank]

I've went through the same misery. I haven't even forgot I was a good.

[Kyle]

I haven't seen a playoff win entirely in your control.

[Hank]

Yeah, forgot I did that. Forgot I was a good ass guy. The mud goal.

[Jake]

That was a get rid of the guy you didn't want to talk to. That was. That was big of you to get out of that conversation.

[Hank]

I did want to hug. First time I've seen Doug's in a while.

[Mark]

Yeah, I like seeing him.

[Brandon]

How's he doing?

[Hank]

Good. They seem good. I think he's. He's big in the card game.

[Mark]

Oh yeah.

[Hank]

He makes his money in the card game. He does. He does very well.

[Jake]

You want to get up to no good at camp, Donnie?

[Donnie]

Yeah, I actually would.

[Hank]

Hell yeah.

[Donnie]

That I'm always down to do.

[Jake]

What about you and I getting up to no good?

[Donnie]

Good.

[Jake]

What if we come back, change men from this camp?

[Donnie]

All right. What kind of no good are we talking about? Flames, Fire bomb? That kind of.

[Jake]

All three seem like they're a similar family.

[Donnie]

I'm in. Are you in? Are we still doing jet boats?

[Brandon]

We gotta find it. I don't know where.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I know a guy that I I do have a guy that builds them like a kit.

[T.J.]

Oh, the tiny little ones like the Teemu.

[Donnie]

He also builds go karts that go 100 miles an hour if we're interested. Whoa.

[Brandon]

No way.

[Jay]

He does.

[Brandon]

Hold on.

[Mark]

100 miles.

[Donnie]

Miles an hour.

[Brandon]

You just told us about all your guys. You just left out this guy.

[Donnie]

I did. Forget about this.

[Mark]

Who is this Donnie?

[Donnie]

This guy don't have a personal connection with, but I've. See, I see him around. I don't want to reach out and waste his time.

[Brandon]

Wait, so how. What do I have to buy for him to buy it? To build us jet boat.

[Donnie]

You just buy it. We buy a kit. I'll build it. I can do it.

[Mark]

Where?

[Brandon]

Where do I buy the boat?

[Donnie]

I'll send it to you. And then this guy that does go karts, I just came across the other night, and this guy looks sick. Check.

[Mark]

100 miles an hour.

[Donnie]

Yes. 90, but iron.

[Hank]

That's just a car.

[Donnie]

But it's electric and it's a go kart, so that could be fun. But. Yeah. Mark, no good. I'll get. I'll do no good with you. Deal.

[Hank]

What kind of no good do you want to do, Mark?

[Donnie]

Check this out. DJ I'm sending you on Instagram.

[Jake]

Keep it a secret. I think it's me and Donnie will figure it out. I was thinking more like pranks and hijinks. He was thinking more like bombs.

[Hank]

Well, you think he's capable of pranks and hygiene?

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Donnie, have you ever had a time where you.

[Donnie]

Yeah. You ever done a leaner? I would do leaners at. At this camp, but the. The doors don't work, so we can't do leaner. So I guess I can give away the leaner is. It's leaner is my go to prank. Back in the day when we do

[Jake]

hockey trips, you fill up the bucket against the door and then you read.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Jake]

I open it and then it spills in on them.

[Donnie]

It's a good leaner. Yeah. So you know how to do that one. You're on a basketball team. Bench players. Usually good at leaner.

[Jake]

We did that like 10 years ago.

[Mark]

Are you a hijinks guy, Donnie? I thought you were just a stunt guy.

[Donnie]

Depends what you do with. Depends on how you hijink.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Donnie]

Hijack there.

[Jake]

Your hijack guy.

[Mark]

Look at this.

[Hank]

Same position.

[Donnie]

Thinking of. Yeah, here we go. Look at this.

[Mark]

I'm against it past a semi.

[Donnie]

Look at this move. Look at this move.

[Hank]

Oh, no.

[Mark]

Look at this move, Donnie. This AI.

[Donnie]

That's no, it's not AI Sick.

[Hank]

That's stupid.

[Mark]

Yeah, I was fast and furious, but the.

[Donnie]

The speedometer is broken on this. He's actually going 170km. But if you go to his page, you can buy. You can buy his kids.

[Jake]

I was thinking more like put Brandon's underwear on the flagpole.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's okay. Yeah. You're thinking beginner pranks.

[Jake]

How is that a prank? That's.

[Donnie]

Well, this. We're not talking about pranks anymore. We're talking about they never were.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Go karts.

[Hank]

What are we talking about? Go carts.

[Donnie]

Pure, raw electric.

[Hank]

That's electronic.

[Mark]

This looks like something you made. Did you make.

[Kyle]

Oh, Mark 1.

[Mark]

It's the Mark 1. You want a Mark 1?

[Jake]

Starting to make sense. Sense now.

[Donnie]

Livewire. Mark 1.

[Hank]

What's it?

[Jake]

Deep down, pretty good.

[Donnie]

It's on sale.

[Jake]

Donnie just wants to do this.

[Donnie]

That's how they get you.

[Jake]

6500 is not that much for guys like us, Donnie.

[Donnie]

Yeah, you can get one of those, no problem.

[Brandon]

Got it on your wrist.

[Jake]

We could. We could get one.

[Donnie]

We could team up. I have to sell all my. But yeah.

[Brandon]

Did you send me the boats?

[Donnie]

Oh, sorry, man.

[Brandon]

I see these boats. We do the Reese's read, Brandon.

[Hank]

Oh, Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports right here. Yeah. Thank you very much. Look at this thing in my hand. This is the. The old fashioned two peanut butter cups. You know, your standard. Your standard Reese's, but we have a room full of all the tricked out stuff upstairs. The, the outrageous, the. All the good Reese's stuff that's up there. I like the.

[Mark]

I like the classic cup.

[Hank]

Yep, the classic cup is very good no matter where you are. If you're on the highway, stop at the convenience store or the gas station. If you're going grocery shopping, whatever. If you're at the movie theater, wherever you are, chances are there's a Reese's very close to you. And nothing takes you back to something, something wonderful like a childhood summer like. Like a Reese's. I just made that up myself. But I guess an adult summer, too. Reese's the official candy partner of Barstool Sports by Reese's, wherever you shop.

[Mark]

Good job, Brandon.

[Brandon]

Great job, Brandon.

[Hank]

Thanks, buddy.

[Mark]

What time show come out?

[Hank]

6.

[Brandon]

6 Central.

[Hank]

Not come out. It's live, so.

[Brandon]

But it's pre taped as well.

[Hank]

Not it. The interview is pre taped. Yeah, we're gonna do a live portion,

[Brandon]

so it's gonna be. How long is this show gonna be?

[Hank]

I think tonight I'll probably go live about 45 minutes and then the interviews. It's probably about two hour show tonight. Oh wow. Yeah. And then I might.

[Mark]

Any chance of Tommy appearance in the background?

[Hank]

Oh, always. I think there's a. You know, I view it as a podcast with a YouTube element, so. So we'll, we'll build it out over the next couple of weeks.

[Mark]

So it's a podcast first.

[Hank]

Yeah. Although we're gonna be doing our stuff live, so.

[Mark]

So how would you prefer I listen?

[Hank]

I would like for you to subscribe on YouTube and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. That would be nice.

[Brandon]

What about people who don't want to listen?

[Hank]

I would still ask them to subscribe. So it's not gonna hurt them any.

[Mark]

Subscribe and comment. Didn't listen.

[Jake]

What can the haters do?

[Hank]

They'll.

[Mark]

They'll find a way. They're creative.

[Hank]

They'll think of something.

[Brandon]

Get their ass in there.

[Jake]

Yeah, haters are really good.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Especially Brandon's haters.

[Jake]

Oh, they're doing fine ways. It's crazy.

[Mark]

They're. They're. Sometimes they're not that good. They go bottom of the barrel, low hanging fruit.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Get better.

[Jay]

After Iowa, who's the fan base that disagrees with you most?

[Hank]

Oh, I got a lot. Well, is baked in. Just depends on who I'm really cooking on that year. You know, Oklahoma, I've had a history with Tennessee. I've had a history with.

[Brandon]

Are you gonna say Penn State's Indiana at all again?

[Hank]

I am not Indiana. Just.

[Brandon]

Is this the first year in like five years you haven't?

[Hank]

No, no. Because I picked Texas two years ago and I picked Penn State last year. Texas at least made the final four.

[Brandon]

You should try to pick the winner.

[T.J.]

Winner.

[Hank]

I am going to try to pick the winner this year. It's between Texas and Oregon right now and I think I might pick Oregon,

[Brandon]

but that sucks for both those teams.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Hank]

You know, sometimes.

[Brandon]

And Satan. Clemson. I actually like the Oregon pick.

[Hank]

Yeah. I mean they're loaded, so.

[Brandon]

They're loaded.

[Jake]

Gotta be there here.

[Hank]

Loaded. They're loaded.

[Jake]

They're due too. They haven't won in.

[Mark]

Are you going to any Mississippi State games? Are you afraid?

[Hank]

I would love to go, but it'd be very tough. I'm, I'm, I'm got my eyes on the Alabama game we play in October, but I, I don't. It's going to be tough.

[Brandon]

Donnie, you just sent me an Instagram video of someone riding the boat. Not somewhere I can buy it.

[Donnie]

Well, that, that second one's a company that sells them. That's an advertisement. It.

[Hank]

What are we looking at? Tiny speedboats?

[Donnie]

Let me find a more rep. Oh, let me just do a more reputable for you.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that would be nice.

[Hank]

Why wouldn't you start it off with the reputable?

[Donnie]

Cuz I misunderstood.

[Hank]

How.

[Brandon]

What part did you misunderstand saying?

[Donnie]

I thought you wanted to see cool videos.

[Brandon]

No, I. I want to buy one.

[Donnie]

Okay. So here we go.

[Hank]

You need to buy two if you buy one. Right.

[Brandon]

Also, the one you. The second one you sent me is just a bunch of AI.

[Donnie]

I didn't watch it. That is.

[Hank]

So how did you know it was reputable?

[Donnie]

Let me just do an ounce of research, please.

[Mark]

That's the problem.

[Hank]

You never do an ounce of research. You just dive into these things and it.

[Donnie]

Sometimes that's a. That's how it works, Brandon.

[Hank]

You know, just adding somebody's name to a point doesn't make it a point.

[Brandon]

He's really good at that. Yeah,

[Donnie]

that website looks good.

[Kate]

This is.

[Brandon]

Is. This is like six different. You're gonna have to figure this out.

[Donnie]

Okay, let me do.

[Mark]

What did he send you?

[Brandon]

It's like four different things I have to buy.

[Donnie]

Yes, you have to buy the whole.

[Brandon]

These are way more expensive than I thought.

[Hank]

You didn't ask for anything reputable.

[Donnie]

Well, there's. Otherwise, there's ones on teemu that this

[Brandon]

is just buying a full boat.

[Donnie]

Well, yep.

[Brandon]

Sometimes it's like 10 grand. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's not.

[Donnie]

There's ones on te. Should we just get the TEU ones and if they break. They break.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

All right.

[Jake]

But what. I mean, what if they break while you're going very fast?

[Donnie]

That's a risk you're in.

[Brandon]

You got to know how to swim.

[Jake]

Okay?

[Brandon]

If you know how to swim, you're good.

[Donnie]

All right, I'll find them on T mode. I'll send them. I'll get you.

[Brandon]

I'll get you rep. Oh, oh, here we go.

[Donnie]

We did. We did this last year. I had the link already.

[Brandon]

And they're great. They're real or they're not?

[Donnie]

I mean like the thing with a team, you. You might be out of the shipping window for.

[Mark]

No way. We get to late August.

[Brandon]

Oh, fuck.

[Donnie]

I get like. Some of these might take like months.

[Brandon]

The inflatable jet ski. Let's see how long that takes. But that you have to buy an engine. Probably Red Bull.

[Mark]

Wait, is that all you're getting right there?

[Brandon]

You're not getting a boat, but what's $900?

[Hank]

It's on sale.

[Donnie]

Getting TJ Search mini jet boat. See what comes up.

[Brandon]

I feel like none of these have engines.

[Donnie]

Oh, that's just a toy.

[Hank]

That's really mini.

[T.J.]

Yeah, it's very funny if you ordered

[Donnie]

one of these thinking it was like just jet boat. Well, now these are children's.

[Brandon]

Damn it. I don't think we're getting one.

[Donnie]

Well, let me see. Maybe.

[Mark]

Is there a physical location that sells them?

[Donnie]

I'm gonna do some research.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Brandon]

I would like to see some research.

[Donnie]

I'll get back to you with a list of reputable dealers. How's that sound?

[Hank]

Say that word.

[Jake]

What kind of dealers?

[Donnie]

Reputable. Reprieve. You know what I'm talking about. You know the word?

[Hank]

Yeah. Let's just see. You know.

[Donnie]

Come on, don't hammer it into me. Reputable. You know the word reputable? Yes. Thank you.

[Hank]

No, that. They said it wrong.

[Brandon]

No, I'm saying what he's saying. Reputable.

[Donnie]

They have a good reputation for selling. That's what I want to look at.

[Jake]

What would the word be?

[Donnie]

Certificate.

[Hank]

Know that word?

[Donnie]

Certificate.

[Jake]

Reputation.

[Donnie]

Reputable.

[Brandon]

Repatriating some

[Donnie]

rep. You try. Try living without your English as your first language. Okay.

[Brandon]

It's not easy. Try that.

[Donnie]

It was my first language, but it wasn't pounded into me as a kid.

[Jake]

What does that have to do with.

[Kate]

How did.

[Hank]

It was your first language. So why'd you say that to Mark?

[Donnie]

It just came out that way.

[Brandon]

I don't think that. When did you start taking French?

[Donnie]

Kindergarten.

[Hank]

Five years. Speaking English?

[Donnie]

Yes, but I wasn't reading my five year old.

[Mark]

Can you learn to read French before English?

[Donnie]

I learned how to read and write in French before English.

[Mark]

Did that do more harm or good?

[Donnie]

Definitely harm.

[Kyle]

Spread.

[Donnie]

Look at me now.

[Hank]

You're doing pretty good.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Mark]

My God.

[Donnie]

I meant writing and reading. Well, I get. Never mind. I can read and write.

[Brandon]

A buck hunter. That doesn't work in a bunch of rugs.

[Hank]

You're doing scammed every week.

[Donnie]

The scamming. I don't know where that came from.

[Eddie]

What's that?

[Hank]

Every conversation we've ever had with you.

[Brandon]

Mini boat. Okay.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Come with an engine.

[Donnie]

Oh, that orange one looks perfect.

[Brandon]

Is a lot. I wanted one for like a couple hundred bucks and I was gonna buy like eight of them.

[Mark]

Oh God. That would result in a death.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that.

[Donnie]

So we could race?

[Brandon]

Yeah,

[Donnie]

that would be awesome. If could find a race to enter.

[Mark]

Can you rent them?

[Donnie]

There's also. Maybe you can rent them, maybe you can't. But there's a race to mackinac island that maybe we could enter. Whoa, that'd be cool.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Maybe you can send some of us as a.

[Jake]

With one of those things, Mark.

[Donnie]

Maybe we sail a Mackinac island, just you and me.

[Jake]

I would do that. Do you know how to sail?

[Donnie]

Yeah, a Sunfish, but yeah.

[Hank]

All right.

[Jake]

I'd say with you dust it off, but I could just two boys out on the open water to figure it out.

[Brandon]

I would love that.

[Isaac]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

We could seal the Beaver island. Look at how far it would take.

[Mark]

It would be in charge.

[Kyle]

I would.

[Donnie]

Yeah, well, then we never worked. You need a clear alpha.

[Brandon]

He's got to be a captain and then first mate.

[Donnie]

I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be a skipper.

[Mark]

Why aren't you gonna be.

[Donnie]

I'll be the skipper. The skipper's the captain.

[Jake]

You're not captain.

[Brandon]

You said you're not gonna be a skipper.

[Donnie]

I'm not gonna be the first mate.

[Brandon]

I'm not gonna be the first mate.

[Donnie]

What's George in the. What's that movie with George? Yeah, the boat movie.

[Brandon]

Curious George. Man with Yellow. The boat movie with the show.

[Donnie]

The show with George on the boat.

[Kyle]

Seinfeld.

[Mark]

Gilligan's Island.

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Jake]

George.

[Donnie]

Isn't his name George? That's Gill of Mice and Men was

[Brandon]

George Clooney in Perfect Storm?

[Donnie]

George and Lenny are mice of men.

[Jake]

What is that guy's name on Gilligan's Island?

[Donnie]

T.J. will you just do me a fav. Can you look up Beaver Island? I want to see how far. Mark, maybe we could sail a Beaver Island.

[Jake]

Two dudes going to Beaver Island.

[Isaac]

Come on.

[Donnie]

Look at that. How far away is it? Cuz last time I checked, it's.

[Brandon]

Oh, it's far. Oh, that's far.

[Donnie]

On the other side of the list, it's.

[Mark]

It's as far as you can get.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Why don't we just it. Why not Tomorrow we just sell all Lake Michigan.

[Donnie]

I don't know how long it would take, but tb.

[Brandon]

Have you ever looked up the. The lake in Siberia?

[Kyle]

I'm sure there's plenty.

[Brandon]

There's no, but there's one that has 20 of all fresh water.

[Mark]

It's so deep.

[T.J.]

Deep one.

[Jake]

Well, yeah.

[Donnie]

Bacall.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Doesn't Superior have the most fresh water in the world?

[Hank]

No, I think it's really great calls Deep.

[Kyle]

They call us the deepest.

[Brandon]

Deepest. Yeah.

[Jake]

Superior's bigger is really big.

[Brandon]

Really big. World's deepest, most voluminous freshwater lake.

[Donnie]

Voluminous.

[Kyle]

Oh my God.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I nailed that. Isn't that crazy?

[Jake]

Wow.

[Brandon]

It was a mile deep, I think.

[Kyle]

So what does Superior boast? Yeah.

[Brandon]

Because Casper Sea is around. I thought Superior is usually.

[Jake]

Yes.

[Donnie]

Wreck of the Fitzgerald, maybe.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[T.J.]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Tragedy.

[Donnie]

Tragic. A lot of deaths in that lake.

[Kyle]

Most by surface air.

[Hank]

A lot of deaths in. Most big. Then.

[Mark]

What's Caspian Sea?

[Donnie]

That's the saltiest.

[Jake]

Salt.

[Kyle]

That's just the biggest.

[Kate]

Salt.

[Mark]

That's just the biggest. But it's not the biggest by surface.

[Isaac]

Oh, okay.

[Kyle]

It's biggest by surface.

[Jake]

It's not fresh water yet.

[Isaac]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Salt.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Inland body water.

[Jake]

Largest lake.

[T.J.]

Is it salty or. No.

[Jake]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Oh, it is.

[Jake]

Yes.

[Hank]

All right.

[Brandon]

That was talking lakes.

[T.J.]

Okay.

[Mark]

Geography.

[Kyle]

Hell. Yeah.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Good lake talk.

[Brandon]

Good lake talk.

[T.J.]

All right.

[Jake]

You're a late guy.

[Donnie]

10,000 of them.

[Brandon]

Minnesota.

[Jake]

You've been to 10,000.

[Brandon]

There's more lakes in Wisconsin, though.

[Donnie]

They don't. That's because they have a different definition of what a lake is.

[Hank]

Well, 30 acres is a lake, so

[Donnie]

any swamp next door to a puddle will be a lake in Wisconsin.

[Jake]

You're not a beach guy?

[Donnie]

Not. I prefer the lake before fresh water.

[Jake]

Yeah. You like the mountains, too? Yep.

[Hank]

He's a beach guy. I've seen the sandcastles.

[Jake]

That's what I. Yeah. I'm confused.

[Donnie]

Yeah. That's why I don't like the beach. Bad memories.

[Brandon]

He's a lot of things. Beach guy, mountain guys.

[Mark]

There somewhere you couldn't live and excel and have fun?

[Donnie]

Probably not.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mark]

That's a pretty good trait.

[Donnie]

Yes, I guess so.

[Hank]

Good for you.

[Donnie]

Thanks, man.

[Brandon]

All right, let's spin the wheel. Good job. Wasn't on here.

[Jay]

It's on the sheet.

[Hank]

Where

[Mark]

Deja.

[Donnie]

Oh, we did.

[Brandon]

I did re. I did Reese's again.

[Hank]

By accident.

[Brandon]

Mountain Dew. Summer's here and we love to be outside grilling, having some Mountain Dew. Nothing goes better with hanging out. We're going to be at Barstool Camp. Camp Camp.

[Hank]

Bar stool.

[Mark]

Coming up.

[Brandon]

We're gonna be drinking Mountain Dew. Nothing better than being in a lake like we just said and drinking that refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew was proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. An American original. Grab a Dew. Tasting great since 48. I'm so excited for camp. Three weeks, two weeks, two weeks, two

[Donnie]

weeks, two and a half weeks. Some say that's right.

[Brandon]

Next week I'm out for Internet Invitational.

[T.J.]

That's next week.

[Donnie]

Damn, it's already August.

[Hank]

I'm out for an hour.

[Jake]

About two weeks.

[Hank]

I'm out for an hour tomorrow.

[Jake]

Going to Hawaii.

[Brandon]

You're out for an hour tomorrow. Why don't you say that? For what?

[Hank]

I just said it.

[Brandon]

Oh, for your college football show.

[Hank]

Wow.

[Brandon]

So we're two episodes in and we're.

[Hank]

Everybody else just announced they were out and nobody.

[Brandon]

No, but we're out for a year. Not new shows yet.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Hank]

What are you. Why is your finger in the air?

[Brandon]

You saying, he'll be here, I'll be here.

[Donnie]

Present.

[Brandon]

Why are you. Why did you schedule it during the. Yeah.

[Hank]

I didn't. I didn't have a choice. It's an interview that I'm doing with somebody else.

[Brandon]

I feel like you had a choice.

[Hank]

I didn't. This is when they're recording. I'm doing somebody else's podcast.

[Mark]

Kind of breaking my heart.

[Brandon]

You're doing someone else's podcast and you can't.

[Jake]

You.

[Brandon]

You get to decide when you do someone else's podcast.

[Hank]

No, I don't.

[Brandon]

You just told them. Oh, yeah. I'm free from 12 to 2.

[Hank]

Somebody. No, somebody said the only time we have. The only time we do it is one o' clock on Tuesdays.

[Brandon]

I said I'll say I have something

[Hank]

I can miss half the yak for. For. For an interview.

[Jake]

No, it's fine. Brandon just missing.

[Hank]

No, wait, wait a second. You're missing everything and you're missing. Yeah, I miss an hour.

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah.

[Isaac]

We might need to find a Brandon. No.

[Brandon]

When people ask me Donnie on something, I tell them I'm. I'm busy. 12 to 2.

[Hank]

Hold on real quick. Donnie, is it okay if I miss an hour?

[Donnie]

I think totally fine, man.

[Hank]

Thank you.

[Jake]

Yeah, you miss all the time.

[Donnie]

Well, you're going to Hawaii.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Hank]

So get his ass.

[Jake]

I don't want to go.

[Donnie]

I'm sure you don't want to go to Hawaii, man.

[Jake]

My mother in law is going with us. So.

[Donnie]

Aloha.

[Mark]

Are you saying that in the goodbye sense something got your ass?

[Hank]

It might not be the full hour, might take 15 minutes. So

[Brandon]

you gotta do what you gotta do. You know all these cards.

[Hank]

Some cards.

[Mark]

6 Eastern, 200k on YouTube.

[Hank]

5, 7 Eastern, 6 tomorrow, Sibian.

[Mark]

My apologies.

[Hank]

Yeah, it's okay.

[Brandon]

All right, let's spin the wheel.

[Hank]

Need to get those subscribers up too. Could you tell them to get the subscribers up? Because the old unnecessary reference channel had 54,000. Need to get it up. But Dan, because you're telling me.

[Brandon]

Get him up, get him up. Get them up, get them up. Fart wheel back on.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Jake]

What not.

[Mark]

We haven't had we owe a Plinko.

[Brandon]

How many more wets did you owe Plinko? Which I think we're going to do.

[Hank]

38.

[Brandon]

Wednesday. Wednesday the 19th will be Plinko day. We have to pre tape that, everyone. So keep that Monday open.

[Jake]

I'm out.

[Brandon]

Seventeenth. Oh, you're out. We'll have Chef Sweet.

[Hank]

I'll be here pre taping on Monday.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we have to pre tape it.

[Eddie]

What?

[Brandon]

Oh, because you have a college football.

[Hank]

Yeah, I. Why we pre taping on Monday?

[Brandon]

Because we have to do it. When else are we going to do it?

[Hank]

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.

[Brandon]

No, Wednesday is when it's going live.

[Hank]

Tuesday doesn't work.

[Jake]

Damn.

[Brandon]

We'll be good.

[Donnie]

We'll make it quick.

[Brandon]

I'll make it real quick.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Jake]

For you,

[Brandon]

This college football shows really

[Kyle]

which one of your college football takes is going to be the most wrong. This is a little get out of jail free card for the future.

[T.J.]

Oh.

[Hank]

Probably pick an Oregon to win the national title. Yeah.

[Mark]

Now if they do.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Oh, Kyle, you.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you can't get credit.

[Kyle]

But most wrong would imply that they wouldn't even come close.

[Brandon]

You're like talking about Penn State last year.

[Hank]

Yeah, Penn State last year was coming off a final four appearance with everybody back and they, they won five games.

[Jake]

You think there'll be any good teams this year? I think they're all suck ass.

[Hank]

I think there'd be some good teams.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Is there going to be more good teams or bad teams?

[Hank]

More bad teams. Just by nature of the beast. But. But Oregon's going to be good. Ohio State probably pretty good.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Texas good. State good. All right.

[Jake]

Jesus.

[Brandon]

All right. See tomorrow.

[Kyle]

Style.

[Mark]

Have a good week.

[Donnie]

Everybody go watch Brandon's show. We'll kick you over there and then watch the bush after that.

[Isaac]

Love you guys.

[Donnie]

See you tomorrow.

[Mark]

Bye.