Brandon Will Never Be Able to Pull Off His New Jacket | The Yak 2-25-26

Summary

The Yak: “Brandon Will Never Be Able to Pull Off His New Jacket”

Episode Date: February 25, 2026
Host(s): Barstool Sports’ The Yak crew: Kyle (“KB No Swag”) Bauer, Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Big Cat, among others
Main Theme:
This episode dives into the weird, funny, and highly relatable anxiety around bold fashion choices (specifically Brandon’s new leather/wool jacket), navigating generational trends and mall culture, the pleasure of nostalgia, social media oddities, and eventually, tales of minor lawbreaking (like sleeping overnight in IKEA). The regulars riff on personal topics, pop culture, and whatever else crosses their wandering minds.

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Main Topics & Detailed Key Moments

1. Brandon’s New Jacket & Fashion Insecurity

[03:57 - 12:14, 19:02, 20:11, 20:55]

• Brandon’s Anxiety: Brandon’s wife bought him a hefty leather/wool “pilot” jacket for Valentine’s Day; he’s unsure if he has the confidence to wear it.
• Described as “more wool than leather,” with a possible “John Dutton / Yellowstone vibe,” but Brandon clarifies neither he nor his wife watches Yellowstone.
• Group Feedback:
  • “You have to wear it, now.” — Titus ([11:02])
  • “She wants a suit-wearing man, but she'd still be fine with you still doing this job?" — TJ ([12:33])
  • “You have to get a motorcycle, is what she's probably telling you.” — Kyle ([12:13])
  • Jokes about whether she wants Brandon to be a "bad boy" and if he could ever pull off the look.
  • They debate where it would or wouldn’t work: country club (approved), daughter’s sports games (not approved).
• Visual Reactions:
  • Group is shown a pic of the actual jacket — “That's more wool than I thought.” — Kyle ([19:11])
  • "It’s not me, and I'm going to wear it. Y'all are going to make fun of me, but I need the confidence to wear it so I can take the lashings." — Brandon ([19:48])
• Plans: Brandon promises, "I'm wearing it tomorrow, and we're all just going to have to deal with it together." ([20:29])
• Group Riffs: On how a bold jacket changes your persona and perceived social class, and about matching clothes (“that's all I got is characters on my shirts!”).

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2. Interview Preparation: Cody Rhodes & The “Five Touch Challenge”

[04:03 - 08:10, 13:01]

• Brandon’s Next Big Bit: He’s about to leave for a video interview with WWE wrestler Cody Rhodes and plans to ask, “What do you think of my sick Oilers jacket?”
• The group gets sidetracked into wild banter about wrestling gear, bulges in tights (“dick presenting vs. dick suppressing”), and wrestling lore.
• "Challenge":
  • Donnie challenges Brandon: “I don’t think you can do this interview and touch Cody Rhodes five times without him noticing.”
  • They brainstorm possible “organic” touches (hug, handshake doesn't count, pat on the back, etc.).
  • “Five organic touches.” — Brandon ([07:39])
  • “If at any point he calls you out, you lose.” — Donnie ([08:01])
  • Stakes are raised: bonus for below-the-belt (which, obviously, is a no-go).

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3. Nostalgia: Department Stores, Department Store Hierarchy, and Fake Internet Videos

[14:07 - 17:33]

• Discussion of nostalgia for old school department stores: Kohl’s, Macy’s, JCPenney, Sears.
  • “Kohl’s is the lowest point of entry,” “Sears had everything, homes in the catalog.”
• Riffing on the viral AI images/videos — “I’m so reliant on the top comment telling me the truth that it’s AI. Once that’s gone we’ll have no trust.” — Max ([17:39])
• General malaise about the aging process and “never knowing what’s fake” thanks to AI, deepfakes, etc.

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4. AI, Internet Weirdness, and Social Media Habits

[17:18 - 23:38]

• Admission that everyone (even the “old guys”) gets fooled by viral AI content—debate whether that’s embarrassing anymore.
• “This is our life now? Just getting older, more easily fooled?” — Brandon ([17:18])
• Growing reliance on comment sections and “community-generated truth” and what will happen when that’s no longer reliable.
• Max explains post-social-media Dante, who will only log in at night to ‘check his mentions’ and crowdsource what to post, which everyone considers a losing battle: “How much of a sacrifice are you really making?” — Max ([45:13])

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5. Shrek Discourse: Internet Overthinking Pop Culture

[31:00 - 34:38]

• The crew is incensed at TikTokers “trying to cancel Shrek” for tricking Fiona into “settling” for him and allegedly turning her into an ogre.
  • Kate summarizes a viral take: “Shrek is not a fairy tale, it’s a cautionary tale… He manages to get a princess to settle for him… She’s also an ogre now.” ([32:24])
  • Max: “1.6 million likes — so it must be true.” ([32:54])
• They debate the “moral” of Shrek (love trumps all vs. generational wealth).
• This leads to a broader chat about how adults now become deeply invested in kids’ shows, which never happened in older generations.

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6. Parenting, Generational Differences, and Kids' Media

[35:01 - 37:49]

• Brandon: “I think my generation is maybe the first that kind of refused to grow up and held onto the toys and things of their youth.”
• Donnie agrees: “I think parents now co-watch, my parents didn’t watch shit with me.”
• Brandon details trying to share He-Man with his kid, with varying success, and how every child is different.
• Discussion about how “co-watching” leads to much greater adult investment/agita over what children consume.

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7. SoundCloud, Mashups, and Social Media Music Culture

[39:20 - 42:19]

• TJ: “On SoundCloud, every ad is like, ‘Hi friend, it’s your inner child calling… want churros and a new toy?’ What the fuck, a Disney ad.”
• Nostalgia for music platforms: Dat Piff, Soundcloud rap, mixtape culture.
• General confusion about how/why people use SoundCloud when YouTube exists.

---

8. Monster Trucks, Demolition Derbies, & 'Brave vs. Dumb'

[47:17 - 51:48]

• Kyle’s kids are deep into Monster Jam era — “El Toro Loco, Grave Digger… it’s their whole life right now.” ([47:40])
• Brandon is disillusioned to learn that monster trucks are “just shells” on dune buggies for stunts.
• Discussion about the decline of “true” demolition derbies and who these events are actually for.
• On the Barstool show “Die Trying” and Chef Donnie’s legendary “brave, but dumb” persona:
  • “I feel like you guys are trying to do a causation thing. To me, it doesn’t matter why he’s brave. It just matters that he’s brave.” — Brandon ([51:15])
  • Donnie: “The more you talk about how brave he is, we lose sight of how stupid he is.” ([51:42])

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9. Memeable Trivia: Globetrotter Draft Picks & Pandas

[57:01 - 63:39]

• Donnie tried out for the Globetrotters, recounting the absurdity of “warm ups" and being expected to hit a half-court shot on command.
• Hilariously, they believe for a moment that the Globetrotters drafted a panda named “Sun Ming Ming”—until correcting that Ming Ming is a person, not a panda.
  • “Their first draft pick gotta be a panda.” — Brandon ([60:06]);
  • “That would’ve been funny if their first draft pick was a…” ([60:43])
• Jack and Brandon marvel that the draft picks include actual sports stars, e.g. Lionel Messi, Gal Gadot, and the whole Dude Perfect group.

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10. Celebrities & Subjective Attractiveness

[66:40 - 69:24]

• The group debates why certain celebrities (e.g., Adam Driver, Barry Keoghan) are considered conventionally attractive “heartthrobs.”
  • Titus: “When he was shirtless in Star Wars, I’ve never seen a wider guy.”— ([68:17])
  • Kyle: “It’s the 2000s Miley Cyrus eyes.”

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11. Historical Auctions, Statues, & Presidential Comedy

[70:06 - 76:01]

• The group toys with spending Big Cat’s money on something “historic,” like Lincoln’s joke book (“Old Abe’s Jokes, Fresh from Abraham’s Bosom”).
  • TJ finds a PDF: “The book contains stories mostly with an ethnic bent...” ([71:50])
• Discourse about whether Lincoln was really the first “funny” president.

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12. Frankie’s China Adventures: IKEA Sleepover & Barstool Intern Era

[98:21 - 106:55]

• Frankie recounts hiding overnight in a Shanghai IKEA closet while interning for Donnie Does China videos — ultimately found by a terrified janitor.
  • “The guy got to mine and was more scared than I was, I think.” ([101:31])
  • He escaped undetected and said Donnie essentially “abandoned” him to make the feat extra real.
• Tells a story about nearly legally changing his name to “Frankie Donnie Enriquez” for a Barstool opportunity—stopped at the last minute by Dave Portnoy.

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13. Miley Cyrus Encounter: Tech Mishaps, Near Disaster, & A Compliment

[108:02 - 113:30]

• Frankie remembers his disastrous tech snafu during a Miley Cyrus podcast taping, saved only by Miley herself providing a working cable.
  • “She literally called me a little hottie as she saved the day.” ([113:16])
  • “Probably saved my entire career,” he jokes.
  • He DMed Miley after the taping (no reply).

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14. Barstool Cookbooks & Being a Published Author

[116:38 - 117:52]

• Frankie and Donnie share war stories about publishing their books.
  • Frankie: “If you have my cookbook, you keep it forever. It’s a beginner all-in-one — starts with breakfast because you can’t fuck up eggs…” ([116:48])
  • Donnie: “I won your competition and you never invited me back.”
• Debates rage about what constitutes the “best” dish, or if the contest is just the “best of the worst.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On New Experiences & Anxieties:

• “I think I’m a little chicken shit to wear it.” — Brandon ([11:06])
• “If at any point he calls you out, you lose.” — Donnie on the Cody Rhodes interview challenge ([08:01])

On Generational Shifts:

• “I think my generation might be the first that just refused to grow up and held on to the toys of their youth.” — Brandon ([35:01])

On Getting Pranked by the Internet:

• “I’m so reliant on the top comment telling me the truth that it’s AI. Once that day is gone, we’ll have no trust in it.” — Max ([17:39])

On Kids’ Viewing Habits:

• “I think parents now co-watch. My parents didn’t watch shit with me.” — Donnie ([35:04])

On Social Media Burnout:

• “How much of a sacrifice are you really making?” — Max on Dante supposedly quitting social, but continuing to lurk ([45:13])

On Being Brave vs. Dumb:

• “It doesn’t matter why he’s brave. It just matters that he’s brave.” — Brandon on Chef Donnie ([51:15])

On Celebrity Heartthrobs:

• “But he’s not conventionally attractive…that’s what makes people attractive.” — Donnie on Adam Driver ([68:39])
• “When he was shirtless in Star Wars, I’ve never seen a wider guy.” — Titus ([68:17])

On Nostalgia and Modern Life:

• “We need to rally around each other and get [Big Cat’s] money from his pocket to things that could entertain us for five, ten seconds.” — Brandon, on buying nonsense ([69:55])

On Brush(es) with Fame:

• “She literally called me a little hottie as she saved the day.” — Frankie about Miley Cyrus ([113:16])

On Breaking the Law for Content:

• “Hiding in an IKEA closet, the guy got to mine — he was more scared than me, I think.” — Frankie ([101:31])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Brandon’s Jacket Anxiety & Fashion Riffs: [03:57 - 12:14], [19:02], [20:11]
• WWE Cody Rhodes "Touch" Challenge: [04:03 - 08:10]
• Dept. Store Nostalgia/AI Pranks: [14:07 - 17:33], [17:18]
• SoundCloud, Music, Social Platform Debate: [39:20 - 42:19]
• Monster Jam & Derbies: [47:17 - 51:48]
• Globetrotters Panda Mixup: [57:01 - 63:39]
• Shrek Discourse: [31:00 - 34:38]
• Frankie’s IKEA Sleepover: [98:21 - 106:55]
• Miley Cyrus Callback: [108:02 - 113:30]
• Cookbook Authorship: [116:38 - 117:52]

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Podcast Tone & Dynamics

• The Yak stays loose, silly, and self-effacing, with everyone quick to puncture egos (especially Brandon’s jacket worries) and riff on their pet obsessions/discomforts.
• They frequently spiral into sidebars but manage to loop them back to the main group’s experiences and anxieties.
• Plenty of in-group teasing, blend of high/low brow, generational confusion, and a strong sense of "don’t take yourself too seriously."

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Perfect for Listeners Who:

• Love a chaotic blend of nostalgia, pop culture, and personal oversharing
• Wonder if they’re the only ones who overthink what they wear or whether they “fit in”
• Appreciate candid, often absurdist group therapy around the meaning of adulthood (or how to avoid it)

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For regular Barstool Yak viewers, this episode highlights the group’s effortlessly referential, meta “hanging out after work” energy, with Brandon’s big jacket as an unexpected window into everyone’s weirdest social insecurities.

Transcript

[Titus]

Hey, yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Brandon]

Hey, guys, it's Francis. Look, life moves fast. Dating is a tough thing to find time for and to be intentional about. At least so I thought until I found the league. I've found that the people I've met on the league are people I really have a lot more in common with than the people you typically find when you're just aimlessly swiping and scrolling on other dating apps instead of endless searching. I get a curated batch of profiles each day. There's less noise, less back and forth, less flakiness. These are just people I'd actually want to meet, have a conversation with, have a meal with, spend real time with, create that meaningful connection. Join me on the league, download the app and apply today.

[Titus]

Look, some snacks. Just show up. Blue diamond almonds and more. Shows out almonds, cashews and pistachios in bold flavors like Honey roasted smokehouse and roasted sea salt. Fried freshness guaranteed and clutch aim Crunch time every bite. Try Blue diamond almonds and more. The flavorful nut mix.

[Brandon]

Are you serious?

[Titus]

I'm the coolest one out of all of us.

[Kate]

That was incredible.

[Brandon]

Kate, I have a question. First of all, the yak brought to you by Cellar Blue Coffee. I love the Espresso sweet cream can.

[Donnie]

Yeah, you do.

[Brandon]

It's crafted with 100% Colombian coffee. Each can is a good source of protein. Comes in two smooth flavors. Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. Whether you're braving your morning commute or chasing your pup, Stella Blue cans are for those always on the go and for those who care. Every purchase supports animal rescue organization. So you drink. When you drink Style Blue, you're not just fueling your day. You're saving a doll's life. Try the new cans today. Taste the difference, make a difference. Kate, how much do you like seeing the cartoon version of yourself on the screen every day? I seem like you.

[Kyle]

It's funny you should say that. I love it and I. It's like my. It makes me in a good mood.

[Brandon]

A little bit of fuel to start the show.

[Titus]

Make it your profile.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that makes me happy. And I like that. Yep.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Nailed it.

[Titus]

I like it.

[Kyle]

It's just. It's so accurate.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's so damn accurate.

[Kyle]

It's nice to see yourself. Somebody can really seize you for.

[Brandon]

I also think that's the first time I ever noticed Danny was in the spacesuit.

[Max]

That was the first time I noticed Kate's face.

[Titus]

Yeah, I didn't.

[Brandon]

I. It's a nice part.

[Titus]

Nice part of the day.

[Kyle]

There she is.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God. That's Danny.

[Brandon]

That is Danny.

[Kyle]

Oh, Jerry. Jersey Jerry.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle]

A little High Noon. Yeah. Never noticed that either.

[Donnie]

Look at that power.

[Max]

That just looks nothing like you.

[Brandon]

The more I look at it, I

[TJ]

prefer Kate this way. I wouldn't know what to do with the two dimensional animation.

[Titus]

You wouldn't have to do anything to it.

[TJ]

Yeah, it would be. What would I do? Just touch.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we would.

[TJ]

You can't, like, spin them around or.

[Brandon]

No, I guess.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

If you look like that, we'd have to touch you. We'd just be touching you nonstop.

[Brandon]

Well, none of us want to touch you now.

[Donnie]

Your titties are that big, but they're too deep.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Homer's paradox.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Exactly one angle. They look awesome. But if you take one step to

[Brandon]

the left or right, where'd they go?

[Kyle]

I got flat duty titties now.

[TJ]

You can't squeeze that one.

[Titus]

An unsqueeable giant tit.

[Donnie]

Oh.

[Brandon]

Oh, my goodness.

[Titus]

That sounds like a Dirt Zone episode.

[Brandon]

What a hell.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right.

[Titus]

That's the show.

[Brandon]

No Dana, no Eddie today. They're off shooting a video. I'll be. I gotta go, actually, to the United center and shoot a video myself at 1:30.

[Kyle]

Are you allowed to say what you guys are doing there?

[Brandon]

Oh, it's not a big deal. I don't think it's a big deal. I'm going to interview Cody Rhodes. I've interviewed him like two or three times before, but I'm going to meet Cody Rhodes.

[Titus]

What's going to make this one different?

[Brandon]

I don't know. I'm going to wear an oiler's jacket. A sick oiler's jacket.

[Titus]

Yeah, that is sick.

[Brandon]

And I'm going to ask him, what do you think of my sick Oilers jacket?

[Titus]

Is that brand new?

[Kyle]

Oh, that's why you look cool today.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And then. And I'm wearing my cool guy shoes, and I'll be like, hey, Cody, what do you think of my cool guy shoes? And I'll ask him about him having a big black dick.

[Titus]

What?

[Brandon]

Y' all didn't see that? What? Yeah.

[Donnie]

Huh?

[Titus]

Cody Rhodes has a black penis.

[Brandon]

Cody Rhodes went on Monday Night Raw. And he's like. He said a line. He was like, over on the other show, they're doing a dick measuring contest. And I think it's about time I show you guys why my nickname is Raheem. And he referred to his big black.

[Jack]

There's a subsect of wrestling Internet that basically says Cody Rhodes is black and they call him Cody Raheem Rhodes.

[Titus]

Interesting.

[Donnie]

I see.

[Brandon]

And he went on the Monday night, the flagship show, and said, I have a. I have a huge dick.

[Max]

You got to start with that. We're welcoming in today.

[Brandon]

I'm taking a tape measure.

[Kyle]

Aren't they wearing tights all the time? Can't we tell?

[Brandon]

Yeah, but some of their tights are dick forward and some of their tights are dick suppressant.

[Titus]

All those guys are pretty juiced though, right?

[Brandon]

I myself would wear. Why are the sheep doing that?

[Kyle]

What?

[Jack]

Like stuff like this.

[Titus]

It's pretty funny.

[Jack]

Remember when Cody Rhodes.

[Titus]

That's pretty funny.

[Brandon]

Connor Griffin beside Cody Rhodes. It is some of their. Yeah. Like if I were a wrestler, I would have to wear dick suppressing tights because I don't want anybody to see. I'm not saying it's that big. I'm saying I don't see how. I don't see how.

[Kyle]

That's small mystery.

[Brandon]

Correct? Yes. Like there are guys that have flat front pants and then there are guys like Mr. Perfect whose dick was just all up in your face.

[Titus]

If you go to like Swan Lake or the Nutcracker, the male ballerinos have the biggest.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Bulge protectants you could ever imagine.

[Kyle]

Yes, they do.

[Titus]

It's comical. It's, it's.

[Kyle]

Oh.

[Brandon]

So you can't see the dick, but

[Titus]

you can see what they have, like shielding it is I think eight times the size of what any penis should be.

[Brandon]

Are there any that choose to go dick. Like not dick out, but dick. You know, just dick.

[Titus]

Never had that good of seats. I don't know.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Cuz sometimes it's uncomfortable where a wrestler comes out and like you just see too much dick. And once you. Once the dick comes into play, you're like, that's all I can see is the dick. And I don't watch these sweaty, oiled up men in their underwear wrestling. So I can see dick. I just don't.

[Titus]

They could just be wearing jeans. Right?

[Brandon]

They could, they could be.

[Titus]

They could like the. The traditional garb is like a Speedo.

[Brandon]

They could be wearing overalls, they could khakis, they could be wearing football clothes. Whatever.

[Titus]

They're a doctor Docker.

[Donnie]

Stone Cold wore shorts. Right.

[Brandon]

He did. Later in his career. And Cena wore jorts.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah. They could wear anything. And some choose to wear the tiny little piece panties. Yeah. Yeah.

[Donnie]

I don't think you can do this interview and touch Cody Rhodes five times without him noticing throughout the interview.

[TJ]

Five is a good number.

[Brandon]

Challenge accepted.

[Donnie]

Find ways to put your hands on his body.

[Brandon]

All right, so obviously I'm probably getting the handshake at the start. That's one. I got one in the can.

[Titus]

They all have to be on video, I think. I think you get the first two pretty easy.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Titus]

I can get the first three really easy handshakes. Like, now we're close. Now give me a hug. No, that felt weird. Shake my hand.

[Frankie]

Well, how close? That's.

[TJ]

Yeah, that's an easy.

[Donnie]

Just keep doing that over.

[Max]

Yeah, pat him on the back.

[Brandon]

Actually, the hug wasn't that bad. Let's do the hug again. No, I. Five times.

[Donnie]

Five times is the challenge.

[Brandon]

Brandon does. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and say right now a handshake doesn't count. Yeah, it'd be five.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I feel like that's kind of

[Brandon]

the spirit of the game. Five organic touches.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Yeah, Just like that. Just as organic is what Kate's doing to me right this second.

[Titus]

Yeah, There we go.

[Kyle]

It's just.

[Brandon]

Yeah, there's one.

[Donnie]

Your standard normal.

[Kyle]

You notice.

[Brandon]

Do I get bonus points

[Max]

touching his dick?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Shoulder. Be easy.

[Kyle]

Two hands at once.

[Donnie]

And if he calls you out at any point, you lose.

[Brandon]

But if I got any.

[Donnie]

Why do you keep touching?

[Brandon]

If I somehow got anywhere below the

[Titus]

belt, I think, no, that's a bonus. Tough.

[Brandon]

A nose would be the worst.

[Kyle]

Steel's nose. So anyone ever stolen Cody Rhodes nose?

[Titus]

Probably. I think that's a wrestler's finish.

[Brandon]

He also has. I think he has a baby. So I could be like, hey, when you're home, when your baby. Do you ever do this and I steal his nose?

[Titus]

Or you can just be like, hold on. Before we start.

[Brandon]

Booger. Okay.

[Max]

Say what's behind your.

[Titus]

Do that in the middle of the interview.

[Max]

How close will you be sitting to him? That's a big factor.

[Brandon]

No idea. I don't know.

[Titus]

Did you reach out to French Freedom?

[Brandon]

It's a. It's a road game. Yeah, I reached out to him, said,

[Titus]

hey, can I come through? And tickets.

[Brandon]

Actually, I didn't reach out to him. I reached out to wwe. Usually I do reach out to him, but I forgot to do it this time. But, yeah, he's so. I don't know why they're doing their thing now. They're. WWE's a lot more buttoned up these days, I think, and it's hard to get them to come to you. But there, just four minutes down the road could have Come over here.

[Titus]

That been cool?

[TJ]

Easily came here.

[Brandon]

Where.

[Donnie]

Where's this happening? Other where in the United Center.

[Brandon]

I mean, I believe the. Where the Jordan statue is in the atrium.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

And then there's pressure there too. Wow, cuz. Can I touch the Jordan statue? Probably not. Yeah, probably not.

[Titus]

Well, it's pretty high up, right? I don't think you could reach him.

[Brandon]

You could touch his feet, I think. You think you get those feet?

[Titus]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

I don't either. He is way up there.

[Titus]

Jump, man.

[TJ]

I can't get over Trick Williams.

[Brandon]

He is, yes, a ball of charisma.

[TJ]

He's star power.

[Brandon]

Yeah. We had Trick Williams and last legend on web this morning.

[Titus]

Really?

[Brandon]

And they. They hit the fucking ground running, man. They were just. They were electric. They were fantastic. Trick Williams is just somebody pops on camera and everything about him, you just.

[TJ]

It was insane.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[TJ]

For a zoom call, that's tough to

[Titus]

exude charisma from a zoom call.

[Brandon]

But they also, like, when they get in that system, they get in the WWE system, they get into that media training, they get them ready to go

[TJ]

a little better than like a college football coach who's like, oh, yeah, we're working hard out there.

[Brandon]

There's wanting to get to practice.

[TJ]

Guys are getting better and try to.

[Titus]

That is we respect. You shouldn't have to talk to coaches. They say the same thing every.

[Brandon]

He was wearing that at 8am this morning. That, that, that fur right there, that's pretty cool.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Y' all ever. You ever had a fur coat?

[Titus]

No. Rented one.

[Brandon]

My. Yeah.

[TJ]

If your man starts shopping for a fur coat, I'm gonna verbalize worry.

[Brandon]

I'm gonna verbalize something right now to try to give myself the courage to wear it. My. My wife for Valentine's Day got me a big leather coat, a big leather coat. Big leather. How big a leather jacket? A big leather bomber jacket with like, not fur, like. Like wool on the inside. And it's a very pilots kind of thing, but it's bigger than that. And I don't know if I can pull it.

[Titus]

Like, is it like puffier? Like Matrix?

[Brandon]

No, it's not. It's not a long trench coat or anything like that. It's just. It's like a bomber. It's like a pilot's leather jacket, but it's. It's, it's bold.

[Titus]

But she got it for you. You have to wear that.

[Brandon]

I have to wear it now?

[Titus]

I'm glad you told us.

[Brandon]

I think I'm a little chicken shit to wear it. Though I think y' all are gonna

[Titus]

look at what you're wearing now.

[Brandon]

But this is me. This is more me. This is nostalgia. This is. I wear this stupid shit. I don't wear that shit. So I don't know if I have the courage to. To wear this coat that she's.

[Titus]

Is it in your truck?

[Brandon]

No, it's at the. It's at the house.

[Kyle]

Where would you wear it? Like to a nice dinner?

[Donnie]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

No, it's. It's not a nice dinner coat. It's a.

[Kyle]

To the.

[Titus]

What did you say when you opened it?

[Brandon]

It's like a riding motorcycles coat or a riding horse's coat. It's a yellow. It's a John Dutton jacket. Almost where it's lined.

[Titus]

Does it have a fur collar?

[Brandon]

It's. Yeah. Yeah.

[Titus]

Is she into Yellowstone?

[Brandon]

No, to my knowledge she's never watched it though she is unwatched by me for most of the day. So she might be watching Yellowstone right now. She might be.

[Donnie]

My wife is unwatched.

[Brandon]

She's unwatched by me right now.

[Titus]

What was your reaction to opening the gift?

[Donnie]

Wow.

[Titus]

She knew.

[Brandon]

Wow. Sometimes she'll go a little not overboard, but she'll buy me things that I normally would never buy myself.

[Kyle]

Because that's what she wants to see.

[Max]

She wants you to wear it.

[Brandon]

She wants to see me in the leather coat?

[Kyle]

You have to get a motorcycle is what she's probably telling you.

[Brandon]

Then I would die like a sidecar for her.

[TJ]

What do you think your wife's dream version of you would be?

[Brandon]

Probably preaching somewhere. Yeah. No, I think she would like me to wear a suit to work every day.

[TJ]

She wants a suit wearing man, but still she'd be fine. You still doing this job?

[Brandon]

She's happy with this.

[TJ]

Would she want you to ride motorcycles more?

[Brandon]

Think she would like motorcycles? She's a very careful lady.

[TJ]

Does she like when you like kind of speed or drive? Rec. Rec.

[Brandon]

She hates it. And she herself mad when you swear. She. Yeah, she. It. It kills her.

[Titus]

So she wants the opposite of a bad boy.

[Brandon]

She wants the opposite.

[Donnie]

Why did she get you jacket?

[Titus]

That's a bad boy. She went on bad boy apparel.

[TJ]

A preacher with like bravado though.

[Donnie]

Now let me ask you this jacket.

[Kyle]

Preacher?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Who would her celebrity crush be?

[Brandon]

Oh, Joel Olsteen. Oh, my God. Ty Pennington.

[Titus]

Okay, we were straight over.

[Donnie]

Is there a chance that deep down she does want you to be a bad boy and she just thinks that she's supposed to.

[Frankie]

Oh, give you a hint.

[Brandon]

Maybe. Maybe I'm not doing a good job describing the coat because I don't think it's a bad boy coat.

[Donnie]

It's just a leather jacket.

[Brandon]

A big leather jacket.

[Titus]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

What.

[Titus]

How can a leather jacket not be a bad boy coat?

[Donnie]

Is it just the Fonz jacket?

[Brandon]

I got a kid.

[Titus]

Or is it like Amelia Earhart's?

[Brandon]

I got to get her to send me up.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Would you fly it?

[Donnie]

Got the Amelia Earhart jacket.

[Brandon]

I got to get her to send me a.

[Kyle]

Did it come with a little hat?

[Max]

No wonder I've never seen it.

[Brandon]

I got to get her send me a picture of the leather jacket.

[Max]

Is it a quarter zip, you said?

[Brandon]

No, it's a. It's a leather. It's a leather coat jacket.

[Max]

I'm not picturing it. Brandon, does she get turned off if, like that you become more city?

[Brandon]

No, she. She actually wants to spend more days in the city. She's been pestering me lately. The. Every Friday she wants to come down and we spend the night in the city. So she wants more. She's both. She's more city than I am.

[Titus]

Has she been to Milwaukee more than she's been to Chicago?

[Brandon]

Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Milwaukee's easier to get to. Yeah, it's easier to get around in.

[Titus]

Like. You like Milwaukee more.

[Brandon]

I do, but it's. It's. You just pop up there, there's no traffic. Bam, you're right downtown with Chicago. You gotta work to get downtown.

[Kyle]

Milwaukee is Kohl's. Chicago is Macy's.

[Brandon]

Is that.

[Titus]

How is that taking her to Kohl's?

[Brandon]

I think Milwaukee is actually his Coles. Right.

[Titus]

Does Milwaukee. Is Milwaukee the home of Kohl's?

[Kyle]

I don't know, but that's how I would feel. Bring her to Macy's.

[Donnie]

So Macy's better than Kohl's?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Is it?

[Kyle]

Well, not to me, but I never

[Brandon]

know people with class. Oh, sure.

[Donnie]

Wouldn't be caught dead at either one.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Bougie ass. Titus.

[Donnie]

Like going to Macy's.

[Kyle]

I want.

[Titus]

I call.

[Jack]

You having issues?

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

What are the differences between. Because seriously, all those department stores feel the exact same to me, and I've never.

[Brandon]

Kohl's is like.

[Donnie]

They exist just to like you. You go to the mall, you find the department store, you park outside of there, and then you walk through there to get to the mall.

[Titus]

Tj Max is the runoff.

[Donnie]

I never stop in the.

[Brandon]

That's the excess. Yeah. Kohl's, I think, is the lowest version of one of those stores. Right. It's The. It's the entry point to it.

[Kyle]

Yes. To a department store. Yeah.

[Titus]

What's JCPenney?

[Brandon]

JCPenney is like a Kohl's, but it's probably between Kohl's and.

[Kyle]

And it's, like, run by. In my mind. It's like the old timers go there now. There's nothing like really cool and hip there anymore.

[Brandon]

Are they still kicking JCP's? Like your mom takes.

[Titus]

Mom takes you to JCP clothes.

[Kyle]

Did they?

[Brandon]

Sears had everything.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah. Sears had everything.

[TJ]

Had homes.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Sears had holes in their magazines that you could use for your outhouse as toilet paper. Intentionally.

[Donnie]

Wow.

[Brandon]

I love getting the Sears wish list every. I don't know when you got. Or the wish book when you got it. Like September. Just picking out the toys. Every year.

[Kyle]

I think you can buy a piece together home from the BUC EE's catalog.

[Titus]

Now a Bucky.

[Brandon]

You can buy a. You're telling me you can buy a home?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

From a gas station catalog?

[Kyle]

I think so. I think I saw that you could buy a deer stand from BUC EE's if you wanted.

[Titus]

That makes more sense.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Home, though.

[Brandon]

Would you. How would you react if you were in a home and you're having. You're invited over for dinner and drinks or whatever and like, oh, this is beautiful. Where'd you get it? And they said, well, we got it from the BUC EE's catalog.

[Kyle]

I would love that.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I guess it would be a talking point.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Titus]

But after that, you're can't be big.

[Kyle]

Comes with a little beef jerky station.

[Titus]

TJ can we get eyes on a Bucky's home?

[Kyle]

Some one of these, like, gas. Big gas station or something. I'm pretty sure sells homes now. Unless this was AI and I got got, which is highly likely and a little scary.

[Titus]

I I. I would like to believe it.

[Kyle]

That's Cole's talk. Yeah. There you go. That's that thing I saw. Is that true or is it fake?

[Titus]

That's a nice house.

[Kyle]

I know. It's fake, right? I got got.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

This is like your Colgate spaghetti or whatever.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

It happens to the best of us.

[Kyle]

I got cold.

[Brandon]

So is this our life? Is this our lives now?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

For the rest of time, we're just gonna begin. Because we're only gonna get older, Kate.

[Frankie]

We're gonna.

[Kyle]

But it's not that shocking that Bucky's would do that. I feel like they have everything.

[Brandon]

But we're only gonna get older. It's going to get worse.

[Kyle]

I know.

[Brandon]

And we're going to get. Keep getting fooled. Do we now just accept it? There's no embarrassment to getting full.

[Titus]

But it's only going to get better, too.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's only gonna get more, like, lifelike and more convincing and more everything.

[Max]

I'm so reliant on the top comment telling me the truth that it is AI. Once that day is gone, we'll have. We'll have no trust in it.

[Titus]

Yeah, you're right. I can't sniff it out oftentimes.

[Donnie]

Yeah. The next step to AI is just creating a bot that makes itself the top comment.

[Titus]

This is real.

[Donnie]

This is real.

[Brandon]

But do any of those obviously, we're all fucked. Do any of those obviously fake videos. Even though you know it's fake going in, you still smile and you laugh at them a little bit.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

I saw one last night of a dog kicking a door down, waking up its owner and shredding on the guitar.

[Brandon]

Yeah,

[Titus]

tj, can you find me the dog?

[Brandon]

Like, I watch this every time.

[Titus]

Yeah. A horse on skis that cost four lives in Memphis.

[Brandon]

Like the. The videos of the mega, mega, mega, mega, mega fat people jumping into a pool.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And the pool collapses. Yeah, I. I watch it every time. It's so stupid and awful and it's slop and I, I.

[Kyle]

How about they're building all these, like,

[Titus]

giant data centers or data centers for.

[Kyle]

Is that what that's for?

[Max]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Oh, Brandon needs his videos.

[Brandon]

I need my fat women, man.

[Titus]

That's one gallon of water, please.

[Brandon]

Women.

[TJ]

But isn't this all just, like, a person or girl?

[Titus]

Oh, that's the jacket Bane wears.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it is. Oh, that's.

[Titus]

That's big and thick.

[Kyle]

I don't have my phone on me,

[Brandon]

but I don't know.

[Titus]

It's the jacket Bane wears.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Okay,

[Titus]

Different one. It was a night vision and it really scared the woman. Different dog.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Nope, different one.

[Brandon]

No, no, no.

[Titus]

This dog kicks in the door, it shatters, and the dog starts shredding. No, I guess this is a thing.

[Kyle]

I love that one.

[Titus]

I guess it's a thing. We'll get there, Brandon.

[Kyle]

That was way more wool than I thought.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Titus]

That's a. Yeah, it's a lot.

[Brandon]

It's not me, and I'm gonna wear it. Y' all are gonna make up. Gonna make fun of me, but I need the confidence to wear it so I can take the lashings.

[Titus]

You will. You will get made fun.

[Brandon]

Yes, I know I will get made

[Titus]

by people that don't know you.

[Brandon]

I think it's, like, online or people in here that, like, I barely talk to, they'll. They'll turn around, be like, did you see that?

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That's my jacket.

[Donnie]

Whoa.

[Kyle]

That's a lot of fur.

[Brandon]

That's my jacket. That is.

[Jack]

Wyatt has this jacket.

[Kyle]

No.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's a.

[Brandon]

That's. That's my jacket.

[Kyle]

I feel like you have to wear it with nothing underneath.

[Brandon]

It is more wool than I. Or it's more wool than leather.

[Max]

It's a Santa suit.

[Titus]

The bottom of the arms. It's a cool Santa. The bottom of the arms cuffs.

[Brandon]

Well, I'm wearing it tomorrow. I'm gonna be sitting here on. In that coat tomorrow, and we're all just gonna have to deal with it together.

[Titus]

Did she say, like, do you like it?

[Brandon]

Are you gonna wear it, or.

[Titus]

Why haven't you worn it yet?

[Brandon]

No, because I just got. We actually. We did a delayed Valentine's Day because I got sick. We had super bowl, then I got sick the Valentine's Day weekend. So we delayed it for a week. I just got it, like, Sunday. Yeah. But I was right to. To prepare you guys for this.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

It was nice of you. And I'm not gonna on it now that I know that's a jacket.

[TJ]

You. You don't wear it here. You wear it to go out in the yard and scream.

[Titus]

That's. That's a good.

[TJ]

You wear it to smoke a blunt, and then it will smell like sewage weed for the end of time.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think. Any other scenarios? I'm trying to think of anything.

[Kyle]

If one of your buddies, Art or whatever, was, like, come out and look at this piece of land with me that I'm looking at.

[Brandon]

Yeah. If I was, like, prospecting for something.

[TJ]

Come out to look at this with me.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's a.

[Kyle]

Come out to look at this with me, Jack.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I can see just getting out of the truck and staring at something in that.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Brandon]

That's a very good use for that.

[Titus]

Looks warm.

[Brandon]

Maybe. Do I wear that to look at, like, used cars from, like, kicking the tires? I'm wearing that jacket.

[Kyle]

Yes. That could work.

[Brandon]

Yeah. What kind of mileage you got on this puppy? And I'm just. I'm wearing that jacket.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

What if. If you wore that to one of your daughter's sports games, would she be

[Brandon]

like, dad, I think she. I think she quit sports.

[Kyle]

Really?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I think she would. She would give up on sports.

[Kyle]

Don't wear it there.

[Max]

Well, what are you gonna wear with the rest of It. I don't know if you could be wearing. You can't wear those.

[Brandon]

No.

[TJ]

Yeah. No cartoons.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Titus]

You got cartoons.

[Brandon]

That's.

[Titus]

That. You can't. That can't be next to a character.

[Brandon]

That's all I got's characters.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Sam on your T shirt.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

His Ms. Pac man socks.

[Kyle]

Huh. What's the country club saying? If you walk through with that thing on?

[Brandon]

I think that's playing okay at the country.

[Kyle]

They respect it.

[Brandon]

Is it? Yeah. I think that's playing okay for a nice dinner at the country club. I think that would play very well.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

You don't think so?

[Titus]

I think it's too casual for a nice dinner.

[Brandon]

Well, it's a coat, though. I'm taking it off.

[Titus]

It's a rugged coat, so I'm obviously

[Brandon]

wearing a flannel shirt underneath it. Yes.

[Donnie]

Yeah. You'll look good.

[Brandon]

I'll look down.

[Donnie]

Rock it.

[Brandon]

I'm gonna look damn good. I'm gonna fucking look good.

[Donnie]

Rocket. Brandon.

[Brandon]

I'm gonna fucking look good.

[Donnie]

But he has a problem with it. That's their problem.

[Max]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I think if you wore this in Montana somewhere at some ski area or whatever, sure. You'd walk by and the locals would

[Frankie]

be like, yeah, here he is. Okay.

[Kyle]

Like, that's what you would get.

[Brandon]

Whoa. Yeah. Now we're talking.

[Kyle]

That's cool.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I just need to go to Cyber Train to fight Drago.

[Kyle]

You gotta get that out.

[Donnie]

Get the hat, Brandon.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Jack]

You need.

[Titus]

You need the full thing.

[Jack]

I think Gino has a couple of those on his desk.

[Brandon]

What, those hats?

[Jack]

Yeah, he's wearing that for a little bit.

[Kyle]

Congrats to Gino, by the way.

[Donnie]

That's right.

[Max]

Oh, yeah.

[Titus]

Disney World or Land.

[Brandon]

We don't know which one.

[Titus]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

I'm not sure.

[Brandon]

Was he in Florida or California?

[Titus]

I don't know. Happy for him, though.

[Kyle]

I know. She makes the best cookies. Brings us good cookies.

[Donnie]

Remember that video of. Why do I. It's bouncing around in my brain. I can't remember specifics. Someone was, like, proposing at Disney World, and a guy, like, slaps the ring out of the. Some guy played defense on it. Do you remember that story?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I'm thinking. I. I am.

[Titus]

Oh, it was the park worker that, like, slammed the box.

[Donnie]

The park worker? Yeah. Running in and. And why does anyone else. I do just vividly.

[TJ]

Yeah. I don't know what.

[Donnie]

Oh, here you go.

[Kyle]

And gets denied by a cast member.

[Titus]

They call their employees cast members.

[Brandon]

Oh, that.

[Titus]

That's so weird.

[Jack]

Crazy. Fit.

[Kyle]

Crazy fit.

[Brandon]

Nope.

[Titus]

Yes, that's great. But over here, she's gonna be even better.

[Brandon]

Oh, you gotta punch that dude. You gotta punch that dude.

[Kyle]

You do. You're right.

[Titus]

Why did they do that?

[Frankie]

Right?

[Brandon]

Yeah, that was. So do you think Disney approved of that? Employees?

[Titus]

I think so.

[Brandon]

They think they did okay.

[Titus]

Disney didn't let it put. Let a boy put Spider man on his headstone.

[TJ]

Oh yeah, that guy. He probably got like a raise of like five magic stars. Yeah, whatever they give them for money.

[Titus]

He got dinner with chips.

[Brandon]

I feel like that that reaction causes more trouble for the company that it's worth.

[Titus]

They don't care.

[Max]

Why do they do it?

[Titus]

You probably have to pay to have that platform.

[Jack]

I think they're already in a restricted area.

[Max]

Oh, geez.

[Brandon]

He was already down.

[Donnie]

Oh, so you're allowed to propose like. Gino's not a bad boy for proposing necessarily. It was before the area.

[Brandon]

She's got to give him five grand for that. For your knee on that area.

[TJ]

Yeah. You let him finish though, and then bludgeon him with the photographer.

[Kyle]

Right?

[TJ]

Both of them.

[Titus]

Yeah. Oh, what a loser.

[Donnie]

Anyway, congrats to Gino.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Doing it right.

[Brandon]

Did we think in our head that happened to him?

[Kyle]

He was also wearing an all white outfit. No. Very nice.

[Titus]

The new thing adults do at Disney is lightly dressed like a character they like, I think it's called.

[Kyle]

Because Disney does not allow them to wear the costumes.

[Titus]

Well, yeah, you probably kidnap a kid easily.

[Kyle]

True. But, but, but you're not even allowed

[Frankie]

to wear like Ever thought about that?

[Kyle]

Not the full costume, but like you're not allowed to dress up like the

[Titus]

characters, but you can like you have a light homage.

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Like, say like, like Prince Charming or something. I, I would just be able to. To look debonair, but I couldn't look exactly like Prince Charming.

[Kyle]

They would know. Right.

[Jack]

You can't wear a costume at all.

[Donnie]

You can't be.

[Brandon]

No. For. For the happiest place on earth. It's dis.

[Titus]

What it's called. So this guy's probably gonna be Goofy. Yeah, that's

[Brandon]

Goofy. Hey, come on. I don't like that. You knew he was going to be Goofy just based on what he was holding.

[Titus]

Color palettes are character design. Wait a minute. But that was a costume. He was wearing the little hat on the back.

[Kyle]

I know, but it's close enough.

[Titus]

Disney bounding.

[Kyle]

Exactly. They go exactly to the brink as

[Alex]

dressing in regular clothes that allude to a character. Most people don't want to wear a full on costume Doom to Disneyland.

[Kyle]

But it doesn't.

[Alex]

You're not allowed.

[Titus]

That's still a costume to a child

[Alex]

or unless it's during Disney's Halloween event season. But a lot of people enjoy celebrating these beloved Disney characters that emulate that character. This is achieved mostly through color blocking and details. I will give you several examples. Daisy and Donald, gender bending. This one was a little bit controversial. Paul and I were lame.

[Titus]

That was controversial.

[Brandon]

So I got switched genders costume.

[Kyle]

You.

[Alex]

And I custom ordered a hat for him that says, I know when my daughter was R2D2, these were all the accessories I got for her. For Yoda, I got these cute little ears off of Etsy.

[Kate]

Look at that.

[Alex]

Many ears are a big part of Disney bounding. These are my Tinkerbell ears with a little white puff and my bun. Wendy from Peter Pan needed a thimble crocodile. Needed a claw cat. Peter Pan with his red feather in his cap. And then his shadow.

[Brandon]

She and her husband did all of these.

[Donnie]

These are just costumes.

[Brandon]

Yeah, these are all.

[Donnie]

They're all costumes.

[Titus]

Like, I wouldn't bat an eye. I thought that to a Halloween party.

[Donnie]

I thought when I took my niece to Disneyland, I bought a hat at the shop. When you get there, it was a Goofy hat and it had like his teeth like coming down like this and his ears. It was just like a. It was a ball cap. But it, you know, and that was, that was the costume. I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought it was gonna be that.

[Brandon]

Not putting on Goofy's entire outfit.

[Donnie]

Yes. Yeah, I got one. Yeah. That's hilarious. It was a hit.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Still haven't been to Disney World or Disneyland and I think I've made it through. Pretty much made it through my kids childhoods without doing it. They never really clamored for it. They'd rather go to a beach. But yeah, I don't.

[Titus]

I've never done it before.

[Kyle]

I had kids as the. The aunt and then I ran the Disney house.

[Brandon]

I just hear so many horror stories from families that it's just. You get down there and it's just. It gets so expensive.

[Donnie]

It's the most expensive thing ever. It was. It was unbelievable.

[Brandon]

Just everything. Yeah. You get in there and then to eat and to get the hat. I bet the hat was. It was whatever.

[Donnie]

Outrageous.

[Kyle]

Well then brilliantly, they give you these bracelets that your card's connected to. So all day long you're just like not thinking about it. You're like, beep, beep, beep. And then at the end of the day you're like, holy. Yeah.

[Titus]

People go into debt to go to Disney.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[TJ]

I must have love it.

[Kyle]

Yeah, they do.

[Frankie]

So good.

[Titus]

That's good for T. Bob's a Disney adult. He loves that. He said Epcot is his favorite place on Earth.

[Kyle]

It's good going with people that know the lay of the land. Like, I went with people who, like, knew the lay of the land and the fast path and all that makes it so much better.

[Titus]

I think that's what likes the beers around the world. He's like, imagine having a beer in Switzerland. I was like, okay.

[Kyle]

I liked it.

[Donnie]

I would go to Switzerland to do that.

[Kyle]

The drinks around the.

[Donnie]

I had a. I. I thought Disneyland was awesome. I took my niece there a few years ago. And, yeah, I was surprised at, like, how. How open to, like, I would. I would totally come back here with no kids. Like, my wife and I were like, should we just come back?

[Titus]

So, like, really?

[Donnie]

Yeah. And then we decided, no. No, we shouldn't.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Donnie]

That's what we decided. But, yeah, I had a good time. It was. It's cool.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

They do a good enough job of. And that's how I think they get people hooked is like, they. They do cater to adults more than you might think. Like, when you go there, there's more for adults.

[Brandon]

But Kate, I think that's what keeps me away from it. You would need to know somebody that knows a lay of the land. I feel like the entry point of knowing the lay of the land. I would be clueless and I would be intimidated and scared.

[Kyle]

It is true.

[Brandon]

I'd not know where to start.

[Kyle]

You have to plan so hard for. It is a lot. But there's people who make Papa Disney who's a mess. Like, people make money. Like, it's a service.

[Brandon]

Also, keep your. Keep your eye on that guy. I think he's gonna. I think he's gonna backdoor his way into barstool. He got into bald stool. He's kind of hovering around.

[TJ]

Welcome back.

[Brandon]

And he is. He is. He's. He's charismatic.

[Titus]

I liked him a lot into a buzz.

[Donnie]

What does that mean for Greg, though?

[Brandon]

Well, I mean, it's not an idol if we don't hire multiple people.

[Titus]

You're right.

[Brandon]

I think. I think Papa Best is one. I would look out as somebody who. Who might get in here eventually.

[Max]

Same. I hate that he got hair, though.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Max]

Let's do. Before that, he was bald on top.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Max]

Scholar in the back.

[Brandon]

What. What he was rocking with was perfect.

[Max]

Amazing. Yeah, amazing. You know, girls are trying to cancel Shrek.

[Brandon]

Why?

[Kyle]

Oh yes.

[Max]

I saw this and I hate it.

[Kyle]

What Shrek do Because he tricked her into going from a castle to the swamp.

[Max]

But it was either him or Prince Charming.

[Kyle]

That happens to wealthy women.

[Brandon]

She tricked him.

[Kyle]

Some grumpy.

[Brandon]

She hit her over.

[Kyle]

Yuck. Yuck. Man is like if you really love me.

[Brandon]

She hit her over.

[Max]

He didn't make her turn in.

[Brandon]

She did in person.

[Max]

Permanently.

[Kyle]

You.

[Brandon]

She hit her ogre at first.

[Max]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Oh, you're right.

[Donnie]

She did.

[Kyle]

He turned her into an ogre.

[Brandon]

She was already an ogre and she would go and turn it over.

[Titus]

When she showed that she was an ogre, he was like, that's the most beautiful.

[Brandon]

He was like, cool. I get the ogre now.

[Kyle]

I haven't watched in a minute.

[Brandon]

This going after Shrek.

[Max]

There was. There were tick tocks with millions of likes.

[Donnie]

Shrek took her from the the castle to the swamp.

[Max]

Rescued.

[Brandon]

But their love is their love. It doesn't matter where they live. Right?

[Max]

I'm on your side.

[Titus]

But she was in a castle with an evil man.

[Brandon]

No, a dragon. A dragon was watching her and people were dying to come trying to save her.

[Max]

And what's the alternative? She goes with Prince Charming? He was an.

[Brandon]

He was a.

[Titus]

And short.

[Brandon]

No, that's Fark. Farquha.

[Kate]

Sit on my Instagram story about how Shrek is not a fairy tale. It's a cautionary tale. An example of how a woman cannot turn an ogre into a man. But he can make an ogre out of you. Because she started as a princess, she had generational wealth she could have had.

[Donnie]

Who cares about the wealth?

[Kate]

I thought because she was stuck up there. She stayed a princess, no friends. The first person she meets is this moody ass stubborn ogre that basically negs her. She takes that as a sign to like get him to like her and she falls in love with him. He manages to get a princess to settle for him.

[Brandon]

Him.

[Kate]

An antisocial outcast.

[Brandon]

She's off an ogre.

[Frankie]

How many likes?

[Max]

1.6 million.

[Kate]

That means it's true Me alienates her million likes to live with him in a swamp.

[Brandon]

He's her family now.

[Kate]

Baby trapped. She's also an ogre now.

[Brandon]

She was already an ogre.

[Kate]

You leave him. She's severely limited her potential dating pool. He's not willing to change anything about himself or the way he lives or to level up order to provide for her and their family. Did I mention she lives in a swamp when she could have lived in a castle? Try to trick women into not caring about material things. But there really is a level that you need to care about when you're going to raise children.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Donnie]

She only cares about money. She's like, I want to be miserable in a loveless marriage.

[Max]

Also, her parents banished her. They couldn't have lived in the castle.

[Brandon]

That's right.

[Kyle]

That's right.

[Titus]

I don't know. You guys know a lot about Shrek and.

[Brandon]

Love Shrek and Shrek too.

[Kyle]

I actually did watch it kind of recently, and I was shocked because watched the Nightmare Before Christmas and the way that looks on screen still holds up even though it's super old. It looks incredible. Shrek looks so bad to me. I remember the first time I watched it, I was like, this is groundbreaking. This is incredible. And then I watched it, like, this past year, and I was like, oh, this looks terrible.

[Titus]

Toy Story is really bad.

[Kyle]

Really?

[Brandon]

Yeah. I still think it looks good. Maybe I just have nostalgic glasses when I watch Shrek.

[Kyle]

It was watchable. I still enjoyed it.

[Jack]

They delayed the fifth one.

[Donnie]

Wouldn't surprise me.

[Titus]

Why'd they delay the fifth?

[Donnie]

Have nostalgia glasses.

[Titus]

Yeah, you would buy.

[Donnie]

You have a device that is actual nostalgia glasses.

[Brandon]

That'd be sick.

[Jack]

There's a rumor that when they showed, like, the small teaser for Shrek 5 that somebody on, like, Tick Tock or Twitter like, perfectly predicted what the story of the movie would be, and so they had to scramble and, like, rewrite it.

[Brandon]

Wow. People ruin everything.

[Titus]

Zendaya plays their daughter just like her, and she's just. It's just her in that world.

[Jack]

Yeah. No, it's a teenage daughter.

[Titus]

Oh, he looks miserable.

[Brandon]

Yeah. He's just surrounded by.

[Titus]

Yeah, Poor Shrek.

[Brandon]

God damn it.

[Jack]

Two years away.

[TJ]

When you were a kid, would adults, like, have a lot of discourse about your children shows and get really into it?

[Brandon]

No, no, I think that's a. I

[Kyle]

think, like, Ms. Rachel's like a lightning rod.

[Brandon]

I honestly think my generation is. My generation's the. Maybe the first that kind of refused to grow up and held on to the toys and the things of their youth. Everybody older than me, I think let it go. And by the time they had kids, they let the kids watch whatever. But now, like, kids shows are really for adults too.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I think parents now co watch, and my parents didn't watch shit with me. They. They would turn the cartoons on, sit me down, and then they would go do what they do.

[Brandon]

That's a better way to say what I meant.

[Donnie]

So, like, they did. They didn't have any idea what the. They just that's what I remember. If they put it on Nickelodeon, it was going to be a kid show.

[Titus]

So are you trying to get your kids to watch like He Man?

[Brandon]

Yeah, me and Tommy watch He Man. I bought he man on DVD the other day. The whole series.

[Titus]

You have a DVD player?

[Brandon]

I have a PlayStation 5.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Brandon]

46 hours of he man. And me and Tommy are gonna fucking rip through it, man.

[Titus]

Does he like it or is he just. He likes it make you happy.

[Brandon]

So the thing is, when you have kids and Kate, I don't know if you've getting there yet, but like they really are all different. And one will like something completely, the next one will not like it at all. And then like, you have to kind of compartmentalize where like Tommy is all in that world. The others don't give a shit. So I have to focus that with him. And I focus baseball cards with one kid and I focus, you know, like cooking with the other. It's just, it's different avenues and tunnels you got to go through.

[Titus]

But you, you've gone out of your way to like kind of get your interests on.

[Brandon]

No, I would.

[Titus]

Your daughter likes wrestling.

[Brandon]

When they were kids, when they were little, little kids, I would be like, hey, Tommy, there was something when I was four years old, I love to watch. So sit down. Four year old, right in a crook right here. And let's see. He man, he loved it. And I would do the same thing with the other kids and they were like, ah, okay. You tell and they don't do like and, but you tell, they just lose interest real quick and just wander off. And that's not for them like golf. My youngest loves it, my older two hate it. So I focus on him with that. But I never, I never for my daughter. My daughter's entire playlists are older country music than I like to listen to. She just loves everything I have ever listened to. She listens to country. She listens like Bon Jovi. She took to my music. Tommy has a rap playlist.

[Frankie]

Really?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Which I don't ever look at because

[Titus]

I just rather not know.

[Brandon]

When I was 15, I know what I was listening to. My parents wouldn't have approved. So I'm just letting him do whatever he wants.

[Titus]

It's good.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Yeah. So I never, I never forced any of that and I, it just kind of, kind of happened. But I do, I think you're right. I think adults now are way more in tuned and attentive to the kids.

[TJ]

They're obsessed with it.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And I do, I Think something happened in my generation and generations after us where we never really grew up as much as generations before us.

[TJ]

Cause if I was a kid and walked into my dad having a passionate discussion with his neighbor Dwayne about rugrats, I would be freaked out.

[Brandon]

Or if you saw your dad dressing as if I walked in my dad

[Titus]

doing that goofy pose. Yeah, that's what's happening with getting mad

[Kyle]

at the neighbors, Mom's getting bluey nails

[Brandon]

and think I would have just come into my dad to rehab.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Yeah, you kind of lucked out.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Cuz he didn't do all that trifling.

[TJ]

Yeah, it's like I'm getting like on SoundCloud bombarded with ads from. Aimed at adults in kid voices.

[Brandon]

Well, let me stop you there.

[Kyle]

What.

[Brandon]

What. What do you. What are you doing on SoundCloud?

[TJ]

I lost my password so I can't upgrade to ad free. So I can't like just get your password.

[Brandon]

But what do you soundcloud?

[TJ]

Just like weird mashups. Like gas pedal mashed up with Sandstorm. I try to go to the next song and it's like, hi friend, it's your inner child calling. Oh, and they want churros and a

[Kyle]

new toy in a new adventure with

[TJ]

your bestest besties on earth. And I'm like, what the fuck? A Disney ad. SoundCloud is my favorite.

[Kyle]

I've never been SoundCloud.

[Brandon]

I think I used to upload my podcast like in 2014, but it's just. It's for creators who don't. What did you describe?

[TJ]

So many independently made, like, remixes, mashups, and even like songs from mixtapes that aren't on Spotify or Apple Music are gonna be on SoundCloud. And the volume's louder for some reason.

[Brandon]

Wonder why that is?

[Max]

Does anyone just start on SoundCloud? Like, why not just go straight to YouTube? If you're like an artist uploading music,

[Kyle]

the cliche is like you're a SoundCloud rapper.

[Titus]

Yeah, it's kind of.

[Donnie]

I thought it was.

[TJ]

It's like other people. It's like lacrosse players from Massachusetts who like upload other people's music.

[Brandon]

Put their own twist on it too. Yeah, I haven't checked in on SoundCloud

[Kyle]

in a minute to check in on SoundCloud.

[TJ]

The only thing I use.

[Titus]

Did you ever get your Mickey mixtapes from Dat Piff? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[TJ]

That's. But those are. Yeah, like the Little Wayne songs that aren't on Spotify are 100% on.

[Titus]

So I'd get My Little B from.

[TJ]

Did you actually listen to Little B?

[Titus]

Ironically, it was like I had everything.

[TJ]

Pretended to.

[Titus]

I pretended to.

[TJ]

I did too, I think.

[Kyle]

Wait, is that a West Virginia guy?

[Titus]

No, no, he was here before.

[Brandon]

Is that where you put your.

[Max]

Yeah, he was playing pickup.

[Brandon]

Soundcloud.

[Max]

No, he was on the show.

[Titus]

It's down. Lil B wasn't going to change his white vans until he made a million dollars, and they were just shoelaces by the time he was done with them. I love him. He was in the Chicago office.

[Jack]

He played pickup on a Friday here once. What?

[Titus]

Yeah, Lil B, the base God.

[Kyle]

Oh, that's the base guy.

[Titus]

That's the base guy.

[Brandon]

Oh, he's probably been Kate's apartment.

[Kyle]

Cool. Yeah, he had like, that on our account.

[Titus]

He had, like, over a hundred MySpace pages for all of his music.

[Frankie]

We watched.

[Titus]

We watched a little Arsenal together. You and Lil B watched a little Arsenal?

[Brandon]

When did this happen?

[Donnie]

Where?

[Frankie]

I was in the cave screaming my

[Brandon]

ass off during an Arsenal game, and he just walked in.

[Jack]

I was like, oh, 20, 24.

[Brandon]

Huh?

[Titus]

Where was I?

[Kyle]

Oh, I was probably on one of my vacation week. Probably.

[Brandon]

What?

[Jack]

There's the boys, right?

[Brandon]

Look at this group.

[Max]

That's the boys in L B. Oh, yeah, Backstage.

[Kyle]

Oh, speaking of Dante.

[Titus]

This is crazy.

[Frankie]

Sunglasses,

[Donnie]

eating ramen.

[Frankie]

What is going on?

[Max]

Dante has no idea what's going on right now. He might be dead.

[Brandon]

Very rare.

[Max]

We can have Bernie's.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Kyle]

Who knew? Can we play the Dante screen?

[Titus]

Yeah, you're. Do you have, like, access to a Dante archive?

[Max]

Yeah, his friends have been texting me. It's been working out pretty well.

[Titus]

What else have you gotten?

[Max]

I got.

[Brandon]

You're getting your hits of Dante through his friends now because he's off social media, like old videos.

[Max]

Even before that, they were just like, you got to post this one. And it's like footage from their. Their desktop that they're recording with their phone.

[Frankie]

They're.

[Max]

They're all un. As well.

[Brandon]

I would think so, yeah.

[Max]

I went to dinner last night with him and Meek Fell.

[Brandon]

Are you guys best friends?

[Titus]

I. I have a feeling Dante's your best friend.

[Max]

Yeah, I mean, he. He invites for the purpose of recording, but I like Meek Phil. Dante loves Meek Phil. He's like, we got to go to dinner. I've been planning this for months. I'm like, sure. It just. It felt like.

[Titus]

Been planning a dinner with Meek Phil for months.

[Brandon]

Meek Phil doesn't seem like a dinner out guy.

[Max]

That's what I mean.

[Titus]

But what Months? How does that take months of planning.

[Max]

He was like, oh. Because last time Meek was in town, they couldn't do it time before that same thing.

[Brandon]

But I think the snowstorm created the opportunity. It did get back stranded here. Yeah.

[Max]

But yeah, I was expecting like, you know, them to be shooting the great combo. It felt like in the Sopranos Phil Leotardo with Veto Jr. When he's all gothed out. Meek. Meek was Meek nearly fell asleep at the table afterwards. But a fun time nonetheless. Taught Dante all about Pokemon.

[Titus]

Meek did?

[Max]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Oh, my God. Dante doesn't know about Pokemon.

[Brandon]

He did.

[Max]

He surprisingly did not call it poking.

[Brandon]

Man.

[TJ]

But that's good.

[Max]

He was more curious about the evolution of it, how it's still so popular.

[Titus]

Oh, I thought you meant actual surprising

[Frankie]

comments on my hoodie. I don't even know what these are.

[Donnie]

It's Pokemon.

[Brandon]

He's not that old.

[Max]

Wow. You were minus 500 for calling it Pokeman.

[Donnie]

Why?

[Brandon]

She's such an old person.

[Max]

I know.

[Brandon]

I'm shocked and impressed and proud. Dante kind of looks cool as when he's not here.

[Titus]

Oh, he's with me and Danny.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's true.

[Titus]

Damn, Dante's cool.

[Donnie]

Dante would wear your jacket. Yeah, I could see right here. What is that?

[Brandon]

Ice bucket.

[Frankie]

On the count of three.

[Donnie]

One.

[Frankie]

That's all they said.

[Titus]

Some good, some good.

[Max]

I just want to make it.

[Titus]

Except before.

[Max]

I just want to make it. One of those accounts have you seen on TikTok.

[Donnie]

Really?

[Max]

Like day 56 of posting my friend till they find this account.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Max]

Except he kind of knows about it.

[Titus]

Kind of?

[Max]

Kind of.

[Titus]

Has he been off social media?

[Max]

Actually, he said he was only going on late night, so.

[Brandon]

No.

[Max]

And then it gets better. Only going on late night to check his mentions. And I was like, if you're trying to abstain and become a better person, that's the last.

[Donnie]

That's the worst habit to have.

[Brandon]

I feel like he lives his whole life late night, though. Feel like late night is Dante's time.

[Max]

End of the day. Yeah, whatever you want to call it.

[Donnie]

So him saying late night. How late?

[Brandon]

It could be 6:00am, 8 to 2:00am

[Titus]

8:00pm to 2:00am just to check his mentions.

[Brandon]

What do we got here? Tonight's tweet. Are you ready?

[Titus]

Can you post it instead?

[Kyle]

Wait, he's telling you what to tweet for him?

[Max]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Danny, is this your hill?

[Max]

Sometimes he's. He's at times more aware than you think, but at other times a lot more unaware than you would think.

[Titus]

But he is on social media.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Max]

Like see unawares and he doesn't understand the problem there. I guess to his defense, if you want to play devil's advocate, he was like, I'm only not posting. I'm still gonna go on. I'm like, how much of a sacrifice are you really making?

[Brandon]

He's not making anything.

[Max]

Then you look back. This guy tweets 25 times a day. He gets riled up at every mention.

[Titus]

Does he tweet that much? Titus, have you seen it?

[Donnie]

I haven't seen any of this. Yeah, the heck?

[Kyle]

I feel like this was a week too. That was probably hard for him.

[Brandon]

Oh, yes.

[Kyle]

I feel like this week is probably a very tough. So that is a sacrifice on his part.

[Titus]

He's got to have a burner.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Max]

Yeah. Last night he was like, I can't wait to talk to you about all this. This hockey. I'm so fed up with it. He's like, why are we talking about the men's U.S. hockey team? We should be focused on all these Epstein files, all these corrupt colleges, blah, blah, blah.

[Kyle]

He's got a lot to say.

[Max]

Too much. Too much, some might say.

[Titus]

What do you got, Brandon?

[Brandon]

I'll do an advertisement for one of our. One of our partners. Blue diamond almonds and more are the flavorful nut mix. Mixed nuts, leveled up almonds, cashews and pistachios and three signature Blue diamond flavors, Honey roasted smokehouse and roasted sea salt. Freshness is guaranteed 5 grams of protein per serving. Other mixed nuts are stale, bland, and they cannot match Blue Diamond's flavor and freshness. I have already. I took a can that was in the mostly sports studio and it's now my car. Can I now travel in my car with Blue diamond at my side at all times. They're very good upgrade to the flavorful nut mix, Blue diamond almonds and more.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Donnie]

You.

[Brandon]

You going anywhere this weekend? No, I'm going. Oh, sick af.

[Titus]

Oh, nice. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Oh, jacket.

[Brandon]

What would other be?

[Titus]

And there's. That's a wide spot because Sick as and then. Ah, hell no. There's a lot in between.

[Jack]

Right?

[Max]

Fine.

[Brandon]

Yeah, like I don't care. It could be other or. It's fine.

[Titus]

Okay, decent.

[Brandon]

I got you Sick af. Number one.

[Titus]

That's a big branded win.

[Brandon]

Pretty good.

[Titus]

Big Brandon win.

[Brandon]

Why?

[Titus]

What are you doing this weekend?

[Brandon]

I'm going to elimination chamber on Saturday and then I'm not doing anything on Sunday. I had nothing to back up the question. Oh, simply saying something.

[Kyle]

I'm going to Monster Jam.

[Brandon]

You are?

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Really? Taking the boys to see monster trucks.

[Kyle]

Taking the Boys, that's gonna be Sunday.

[Brandon]

Have they ever been to it?

[Kyle]

We have our giant headphones at the ready. Our giant earphones. And I'm kind of psyched.

[Brandon]

I think when there is a time when you were a little boy where it could last six months, could last a year, could last a week. Where monster trucks are seem like the coolest thing on Earth.

[Kyle]

It's their whole life right now. It's every toy they play. El Toro Loco, Gravedigger. They've got the whole.

[Titus]

Grave digger's legacy is. And longevity is incredible.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Brandon]

It is.

[Donnie]

One of the best athletes of all time.

[Brandon]

I had a.

[Titus]

It'd be secret. It'd be crazy to see him in another uniform.

[Brandon]

I had a troubling dish discovery one time. I was in Jacksonville for an AW show, and they were doing next door Monster Jam that weekend. They're just. They're shells.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That's all.

[Titus]

They're not even trucks.

[Brandon]

Right. They're like cages. And when they're practicing, they just practice in the cages. And then for the show, they put on the. They put on the stuff.

[Donnie]

They're way lighter than they.

[Brandon]

Yes. They're like dune buggies. Yeah, kind of. And they only make them look like trucks by putting that stuff. Yeah. There you go. And which. They're kind of cool as shells.

[Titus]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

Still pretty cool.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

It started. I've been doing the research. 1992. So Monster Jam started, and it was actually like a. Almost like a NASCAR race with monster trucks.

[Brandon]

They just. They just ran around.

[Kyle]

They switched it. And it is a competition, like, at a. You know, like at a skate park. They'll have a skateboard competition with tricks. Like. That's what it is. But for cars, which is cool.

[Brandon]

Is it height or is it most cars? What are we trying to accomplish here?

[Donnie]

Backflip.

[Kyle]

You have to. If you flip within the first 30 seconds, guess what. You're out.

[Titus]

What?

[Kyle]

Doesn't fucking matter how cool what you did. You got to stay upright for at least 30 seconds. And then it's like. Yeah. Based off all the different tricks, I guess. Factor into it.

[Brandon]

So you've actually been watching it.

[Kyle]

I've been doing the research. I've been, like, learning about it so that I have annoying facts to tell Pat during the.

[Titus]

Oh, we should have got some guys

[Max]

in the office while his headphones are on.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Are they. Are they. Are they here?

[Frankie]

Here?

[Brandon]

Where are they gonna be?

[Kyle]

I don't. My neighbor got the tickets. We got a whole squad.

[Brandon]

You don't know where it is.

[Kyle]

Sick. I thought United center, maybe. Boy, maybe if they're doing the wrestling.

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Donnie]

I'll state you what I want to see that I haven't seen in like five years as a demolition derby.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Donnie]

I gotta find one of those.

[Titus]

The name is cool. I think they suck.

[Donnie]

Really?

[Titus]

The cars barely move.

[Donnie]

Oh, I. You might be going.

[TJ]

I've been to some bad.

[Donnie]

I've been. Oh, really bad.

[Titus]

And tractor pulls.

[Brandon]

I figured.

[Donnie]

Oh, everyone. Every demolition derby I've been to has been awesome. They have so many events. They do like. They do like the figure eight bus one, you know.

[Titus]

Oh, Chef Donnie won that.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Also, I think they look like they're not moving to you, but from inside the car it looks.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Awful.

[Donnie]

Oh, you're talking about that there's free for all.

[TJ]

Yeah, yeah.

[Donnie]

Oh, I think cars are.

[Brandon]

You're talking about the whole.

[Donnie]

I'm talking about the whole event. The whole kit. They'll do. They'll do ones where they take the back wheels off and put skis them. And then so when they turn they're just spinning out like crazy and they have to race around the track.

[Brandon]

There is always a bus too.

[Donnie]

Always buses. I haven't done that in a long time.

[Brandon]

Milestone night of mayhem was one of the OG barstool videos of demolition derby. And something happened.

[Kyle]

Somebody got hurt.

[Titus]

Did Big Cat get hurt?

[Brandon]

Fights just coming to my mind for this.

[Kyle]

Yeah, maybe somebody did. Definitely did get hurt though.

[Donnie]

Do the events too.

[Titus]

Chef Donnie won the school bus race.

[Kyle]

Yes. I remember that. For die trying, right?

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Brandon]

So that it doesn't take really, like brains.

[Kyle]

I feel like I would like to be friends with somebody who does this. I feel like that's a fun kind of person.

[Brandon]

Do we give him enough credit for. Because we make fun of how dumb he is turning out to be. But his. His brave meter is off the charts. Yeah, but no, but he still got it.

[Titus]

Yeah, you're right. His brave meter is crazy.

[Brandon]

Doesn't matter how he gets the brave meter. His brave meter is crazy. Higher than ours.

[Titus]

The die trying show. He did everything. Every single one was horrifying.

[Donnie]

Yeah, but when you're dumb, you don't know the risks.

[Brandon]

Right. But I feel like you guys are. You guys are trying to do a causation thing. To me, it doesn't matter why he's brave. It just matters that he's brave.

[TJ]

Yeah. And I respect that.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Isolate it from anything else.

[Brandon]

Yeah, like that would be. That would be on his Madden rating. It's 100.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

It doesn't matter.

[Donnie]

But I think what I'm trying to say. Because you're kind of losing sight of what I think the greater point is, which is he's very dumb.

[Brandon]

Right. Right. No, his. His smart rating.

[Donnie]

Like, so. I just. I agree with what you're saying about

[Titus]

the brav, but I like you after

[Donnie]

that, the more you talk about how brave he is, we lose sight of how stupid he is.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Donnie]

And he is dumb.

[Brandon]

Agreed.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Is that his.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God.

[Titus]

Big cat. They don't have any pad bites.

[Kyle]

Looks like an ice.

[Brandon]

Well, he doesn't look.

[Titus]

Is he.

[Brandon]

That's.

[Donnie]

Wait.

[Brandon]

Yeah. They're not dick presenting either. Well, that's. That's just a.

[Titus]

That's brave.

[Brandon]

There's just a. This is an affair. That's county fair.

[Titus]

There it is.

[Brandon]

Oh, it didn't start. That's right. I think.

[Titus]

Oh. Instead of getting hurt.

[Brandon]

And he was just a. He was just a sitting duck for

[Kyle]

the whole time, but I swear somebody got hurt.

[TJ]

Blindfold race with father.

[Brandon]

I might be thinking of Amaya from the real world 90s, but don't say the word C. I remember her.

[Frankie]

No, I won't.

[Max]

Obviously not.

[Kyle]

I'm just saying, she's a real welcome first turn.

[Brandon]

They're all left turns. What's that chin guard for? We don't need left because there's no rights. It's a very foreboding. Exactly.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

It's very cartoon.

[Kyle]

Very Abu.

[TJ]

Grave.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Where was this?

[Titus]

No, this. You're right, Titus.

[Donnie]

This is good.

[Titus]

People are watching that.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Donnie]

Yeah. I've never seen, like that. I can see why you would not like a demolition derby, if that's what you're.

[Brandon]

If that's a reference point.

[Titus]

But even this, I don't like it.

[Donnie]

This isn't. All right, so there are. There are some that do them at actual racetracks and.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

And they. They race around with, like, cars that are up. That can't make it around the tracks, and it's awesome. But that's just one man. That's just one man's opinion. That's one man's opinion.

[Brandon]

Sure.

[Donnie]

And.

[Titus]

And I'm sure Cali boy like you like. Yeah.

[Donnie]

Indiana has some good ones.

[Brandon]

Yeah. You sneaky. Been working on your finger.

[Donnie]

Yeah. You know what's crazy? My. My. My wife yesterday has these. Like, we make.

[Brandon]

We pre.

[Donnie]

Make food for the baby. She couldn't open the jar. No. She's like, mark, will you open this? And I'm like, yes, sure will. I couldn't get it.

[Brandon]

Oh.

[Donnie]

I was like, someday I'M going to be able to. So we had to call a guy. We had to task Rabbit. Someone.

[TJ]

You. You got to explain to her this is a packaging flaw.

[Donnie]

Exactly. Why would they do this? Why would they let you even.

[Titus]

Kyle, have you seen the first episode of Benny Blanco's podcast?

[TJ]

I saw a clip of his.

[Titus]

The first one.

[Kyle]

Soles of his feet, Farts on his feet.

[Titus]

He. He farts right into the mic and then he puts his feet up and they're. They're the dirtiest things ever.

[Max]

Is this different than his one with Lil Dicky?

[Titus]

I think so.

[Max]

Like, I think that just came out yesterday.

[Titus]

Oh, then that was probably it. Then.

[Jack]

They're doing, like, a thing where they basically have their house rigged with cameras and microphones. Like, it's like a podcast, but they could, like, walk outside and they can, like.

[Titus]

So it's a podcast, but it's kind

[Jack]

of like reality TV office. The way this office is rigged where, like, Brandon can walk out of the studio and I could cut to this camera, and then he can walk into the kitchen and I can cut to another camera. Like, that's pretty cool. His house rigged like that. I think he saw, like, streamers like. Like Kaisernat and doing that with their houses. And he kind of.

[Max]

He breaks the fourth wall in the intro, being like, I don't want to call this a podcast. What is it then? And then you just see him get up in. The camera's still following him and everything.

[Titus]

That's pretty cool.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Wait, I didn't know.

[Max]

It's little Dicky's wife.

[Kyle]

Oh, those feet I was gonna pick up.

[Brandon]

I like that.

[Kyle]

That was just a little.

[Brandon]

It was a little squeaky.

[TJ]

Look at this.

[Brandon]

Let's see if you guys can pick

[Titus]

this up on the couch.

[Jack]

I mean, we do this.

[Frankie]

Yeah, we do.

[Titus]

No, but we don't have, like, 20 number one records.

[Donnie]

Yeah. This should be beneath him. It's not beneath us. Yeah, obviously it's not beneath us.

[Kyle]

It's not the fart. It's that the feet should be beneath. Unless they just got their driveway freshly, like, shellacked or whatever.

[Titus]

That's probably it.

[Kyle]

Probably fresh. Lack of the driveway.

[Max]

Remember that period on Tick Tock last year was all Benny Blanco clips and he was like, I had five minutes to come up with Blow by Kesha

[Titus]

and it's the biggest song.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Max]

I accidentally sent in the. The third rough draft. Next thing I know, it was a hit. That was all I was seeing for weeks.

[Titus]

Yeah, that was cool.

[Max]

I, like, I know who's, like, the Next one.

[TJ]

It is like John Bellion does it too. He's like, I guess people. People respect him a lot, including me.

[Max]

Yeah.

[TJ]

But it's always like the hook of Ghost for Justin Bieber.

[Max]

It's almost like 10 months. It's like, how do you go five years without ever telling any of these stories?

[Titus]

It'll be the first thing I tell people. Smart. Titus. Like, what's like, the one thing that you tell people? Cuz this. You seem like a guy that has like. Like, if you had one story to share, is it being drafted by the Globetrotters?

[Donnie]

Being drafted by the Globetrotters? Maybe.

[Titus]

Yeah, that would happen.

[Donnie]

That's. That's pretty. Yeah.

[Titus]

Because my first thing is I have a buddy who was drafted by the Globetrotter.

[Donnie]

Yeah, probably that.

[Titus]

And then my second one is. I know. Ron.

[Donnie]

Y. Yeah, same.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Donnie]

Yeah, no, yeah. Drafted by the Globetrotters. Because I don't. I don't talk about it very often. There's not really much to. Once you've told the story, it's over. But like, I wasn't on the team or whatever, so there's no like. And then there was this other time where I was on the Globetrotters and this or that. But it is just such an absurd circumstance in my life that I was on Long island trying out for the Harlem Globetrotters. Even though I was drafted, I was their number one draft pick. And now I'm trying out. So stupid that we actually. We actually did practice, like, all the. I mean, I guess of course you do, but like, you go. You show up like it's a normal basketball practice, and everyone's like, stretching and getting up, like, shots like. Like any other. But if you went and watched any basketball team, it looked exactly like that until the practice started. And then it was like, all right, here's how you're gonna spin it on your finger. And it's just like a guy.

[Titus]

So, yeah, play like the organ music.

[Donnie]

You have buckets of confetti. And it's like, like, what was the point of doing the warm up of.

[TJ]

That has to be like one of the more high pressure performance roles. Right.

[Kyle]

There he is.

[Donnie]

It was pretty insane.

[Max]

I remember.

[Donnie]

So I had just had shoulder surgery and I actually, like, wasn't supposed to be doing it, but it was like, I didn't want to pass up the opportunity. I was never going to make the team, and I knew that, and I knew I was. I didn't even want to make the team because I. I just wanted to go for the story. Really? And there was still a moment. So during. During a lot of the stuff, I couldn't really do it because my shoulder was up. But there was a moment where they're like, we're gonna do half court shots now.

[Brandon]

And they.

[Donnie]

They threw the ball to me and they're like, let's see what you got. And I was like, okay. And I threw it. I threw it up and I missed.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

And you could just like, sense the whole room be like, okay, he's not it. All right. Fuck what we do now.

[Titus]

That's an elite list of drafts.

[Donnie]

It was crazy. It was that, I guess there was expectation that you could just like, step up and just hit it half court shot on. On command. And maybe the guys can do that now. Maybe the actual goal.

[TJ]

I find that insane.

[Donnie]

It was insane, though.

[TJ]

It was like, do that on, like, a level that's almost guaranteed.

[Donnie]

Yeah, it was. Johnny Mansell got drafted, too.

[Jack]

Look at the list. After Brittany Griner, it was like basketball players. And then they quickly switched to like,

[Donnie]

I got drafted before Messi did.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

But their first ever pick was Sun Olive.

[Jack]

Dude, perfect.

[Titus]

Who's Sun Ming Ming.

[Jack]

I think that's. At the beginning. They did a real draft.

[Titus]

Do they draft a panda bear first?

[Brandon]

No, it's a Chinese basketball player.

[Jack]

They started with actual.

[Titus]

Yeah, that's gotta be a panda.

[Brandon]

That's gotta be a panda.

[Titus]

Yeah, that's gotta be a panda. Oh, we're bad people. That's a.

[Brandon]

That sounds like something they would name a panda bear.

[Donnie]

I don't know.

[Titus]

You can't just assume.

[Brandon]

God damn it.

[Donnie]

Is that a panda's crazy.

[Brandon]

Has there never been a panda named Ming Ming or Ling Ling or something?

[Titus]

A basketball team. And there was a name and you just still assumed panda gotta be a panda.

[Brandon]

That would have been funny if their first traffic was a.

[Titus]

That certainly can't be a man.

[Brandon]

Ming Ming.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Brandon]

That's not crazy.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[TJ]

Yeah, well, Ming me.

[Titus]

Like, that's the name.

[Brandon]

That was the name that the woman had. Person had.

[Titus]

That's vindication. The world's oldest panda was Ming Ming.

[Brandon]

And that's around the time he or she would have been trapped.

[TJ]

The panda bear. It's not crazy. Not crazy.

[Brandon]

Glob trotters go to China. Like, they draft a panda force.

[TJ]

A panda would be making a trick shot.

[Brandon]

Half

[Frankie]

or.

[Donnie]

Of course you're not crazy. Of course.

[Titus]

The most protected species on Earth is going to be traveling around.

[Max]

Lucky Che's not here on the plane.

[Titus]

Yeah, that must be a pan.

[Donnie]

It's gotta be A panda. Most likely explanation.

[Brandon]

God damn it.

[Titus]

Well, can we see Sun Ming. Ming.

[Brandon]

It's the exact same name.

[Kyle]

It said Ming. Ming means bright, and the sun is.

[Titus]

Oh, seven, nine.

[Brandon]

Seven, nine. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Kyle]

He's in Rush Hour.

[Titus]

Tiny picture.

[Brandon]

Oh, he's in Rush Hour two or three. I think he's. He's just one of the. The bad guys.

[Donnie]

The panda.

[Kyle]

Dang.

[Donnie]

Wow.

[Kyle]

Holy crap.

[Brandon]

I feel like the Rock is the. The universal. Put this guy in a picture with a really tall guy.

[Titus]

Yeah, he's always.

[Kyle]

He's like.

[Brandon]

The Rock is always.

[TJ]

Yeah, he's the banana. Yeah.

[Titus]

All right, let's see him next time.

[Donnie]

How big is the Rock? Actually, they say he's like six. Four, Five or six. Is he actually. Have you walked by. Have you been in a room with him?

[Brandon]

I have.

[Donnie]

He is that tall.

[Brandon]

He is that tall.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

He's. He's at least my height.

[TJ]

Wow.

[Brandon]

But he's. He's obviously muscular, so that's how you look next to. But you put.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You put him next to Shaquille o'. Neal. I feel like there's pictures of him with Shaquille o'. Neal. There's pictures of him. Whenever you need a tall guy to see how tall he is, you put the rock. Yeah. Or now I feel like Kevin Hart's in that role, too.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Look how ridiculous Kevin Hart looks. Next.

[Titus]

Well, yeah. Well, Kevin Hart's. To show how big the Rock is.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Titus]

He's also drafted by the Glypt Trotters.

[Donnie]

Kevin Hart. Yeah.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Kevin Hart. Mark Titus. Ming. Ming the Panda. There's areas with Shaq. Yeah. I'll be. Shaq o' Neill being a big guy.

[Donnie]

Shaq o' Neill

[Brandon]

also was in a room with him once, and he's. It's stunning how big he is. And you've been around. Big guy. Big motherfucker.

[Donnie]

Yao Ming. I've. I've. I've. Yao Ming. Or stood next to him, I guess. Yeah. I didn't talk to him.

[Brandon]

Was that stunning?

[Donnie]

It was. He's. He's large.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I don't talk about that enough. How big he is. He's big man. Yeah.

[TJ]

Size. Yeah.

[Kyle]

He's.

[Donnie]

He. And he's.

[Titus]

People forget.

[Brandon]

We're just Keep going back to Ming.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

He makes Shaq look small. Yeah.

[Brandon]

I just feel like. I feel like, okay, the moment is the moment, but I feel, like, not crazy to think that was a panda.

[Titus]

Assuming a list of men and then the one that you think is a panda is.

[Brandon]

But the first draft pick you would think, oh, they're doing something silly. The Globetrotters are silly, right?

[Titus]

They are silly. Do they ever draft an animal? There had to have been a Golden Retriever. Globetrotter.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

See? Like the Savannah Bananas.

[Brandon]

Having a dog, I feel. What's that? What's that? What's his name? Chunk. What's his name? The monkey.

[Titus]

Punch.

[Brandon]

Punch. I feel like Punch is on a draftable trajectory right now.

[Donnie]

Gal Gadot got drafted. Mookie bets.

[Brandon]

Dude, perfect. Got drafted as a whole

[Titus]

12 year old.

[Donnie]

Jordan McCabe. Wait, why do they. Why do they draft so many soccer players? Tim Howard, Landon Donovan, Lionel Messi.

[Brandon]

Good question. Who is Andrew?

[Donnie]

I wonder.

[Brandon]

Got a lock. Who's that?

[Titus]

I don't know.

[Donnie]

It's an American professional basketball player.

[Titus]

Six, three.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Just from Gainesville, Georgia. Like A.J. styles.

[Jack]

Nice.

[Donnie]

Hershel Lee. Played basketball, I think I played at St. Mary's yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Look at that. Good actor.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Damn good actor.

[Donnie]

Handsome fella.

[Brandon]

I don't know if I knew that was his full name.

[Donnie]

Yeah, he's a great fella. Which shouldn't matter, but it does. It matters a lot. Oh, it matters a lot. Yeah, it does. It really, really does.

[Brandon]

Herschel Gilmore.

[Donnie]

They figured out the new Bond.

[Brandon]

There's a rumor they got their guy, but I. I can't tell you his name.

[Jack]

I think Jacob Elordi's the rumor.

[Titus]

Jacob Elordi, an Australian Bond. People are gonna be mad.

[Brandon]

It was. Idris Elba was the rumor for, like, five years, Right?

[Titus]

He's too old now.

[Brandon]

Yeah, too old now. But I feel like that was the rumor for a while.

[Kyle]

You guys seeing this Barry Keegan guy

[Titus]

or whatever his name is, he's playing Ringo.

[Kyle]

It just keeps popping up. And like, I know he was dating Sabrina Carpenter and all these other.

[Max]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I'm not saying. Because who am I, right?

[Brandon]

Listen, nobody.

[Kyle]

Oh, my.

[Brandon]

No, no, what you're saying.

[Titus]

He's a good actor.

[Kyle]

It's something I don't like. You each their own.

[Titus]

You see his. And Saltburn when he's a grave. No, no, I didn't see that.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I didn't watch that.

[TJ]

He improv.

[Titus]

He improved it on set of, like, weeping for his dead friend. And then he digs a hole and

[Donnie]

kind of see what this guy.

[Frankie]

Odd bird.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Before we look at what this guy looks like, Kate, I would like to remind the room and the jury that you are the guy that when, like, Ben Mintz came up here, like, I can see where women would find him attractive as, as.

[Kyle]

As like an older lady looking to heal a wounded bird.

[Donnie]

Also, before we go.

[Kyle]

Said with love to Ben before we

[Donnie]

go too much further. Are you sure he doesn't have some sort of reason for why he looks the way?

[Kyle]

Great point, Great point.

[Brandon]

We've been here before.

[Kyle]

True.

[Donnie]

I don't think traumatic accident.

[Kyle]

I think my confusion is hero. I'm seeing him painted as a heartthrob who's, like, hooking up with superstars. And I'm. There's this, like, picture of him going,

[Brandon]

okay, if we're gonna do this, I got one too. In a minute.

[Kyle]

I. It's.

[Titus]

He's playing Ringo.

[Kyle]

This is throwing me off.

[Titus]

That looks like mystery from the.

[Kyle]

It's like he's got the early 2000s Miley Cyrus eyes.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Frankie]

I'm talking about.

[Kyle]

Yeah, they're like, close together.

[Titus]

Good actor.

[Kyle]

Is he? I haven't seen.

[Titus]

He's a really good actor. The Beatles, like, they're doing four different Beatles movies, one for each Beatle.

[Kyle]

That's cool.

[Titus]

But they're all coming out the same day, I think.

[Donnie]

Whoa.

[Titus]

So, like, Ringo's gonna be empty and everybody's gonna be in Paul.

[Frankie]

Right.

[TJ]

The same day.

[Titus]

I think. I think that's the plan.

[Max]

Who's playing the other?

[Kyle]

Wait, let me see. Which one is that?

[Titus]

Paul Mezcal.

[Brandon]

Why wouldn't they just make a movie about the Beatles?

[Titus]

I think there are four separate movies.

[Brandon]

Okay, well, they were. I. I understood the concept. I said, why didn't they just make a movie about the Beatles?

[Titus]

I don't know. They were all each other's wives.

[Kyle]

Were they?

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Huh.

[Donnie]

Are they all appearing in each other's movies? They'd have to be. You can't do a Ringo movie without Paul McCartney.

[Jack]

I'm here to see Paul a four film cinematic event.

[Kyle]

Yeah. How's that gonna.

[Brandon]

Now, wait, that's all coming out? Apparently.

[Titus]

I think.

[Brandon]

Huh.

[Titus]

I could be so wrong.

[Kyle]

Look at them having fun together.

[Brandon]

If we're doing celebrities and why. Why are they considered attractive? May I. May I throw one out?

[Kyle]

Sure.

[Donnie]

Oh, boy.

[Brandon]

Oh, no, no, it's fine.

[Kyle]

This is only okay if you say a man.

[Brandon]

Now.

[Kyle]

Go ahead.

[Brandon]

It is a man. It is a man.

[Kyle]

Kidding.

[Brandon]

Adam Driver.

[Titus]

That's a common one that people think, Right?

[Brandon]

But he's. He's. He's considered good looking, but he's talented, Large, strong. Great actor. Great actor.

[TJ]

Great actor. And famous.

[Brandon]

Not. Not a great looking guy.

[Kyle]

Marine.

[Titus]

But like when he was shirtless in Star Wars. I've never seen a wider guy Whiter.

[Kyle]

He's got that Michael Phelps.

[Brandon]

No That.

[TJ]

I get it.

[Titus]

Well, yeah, he was Alina Dunham's love

[Brandon]

interest, but he's not good looking. He is, but he's not what Titus you want?

[Donnie]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Donnie]

I'd him.

[Brandon]

Well, that's good.

[Donnie]

You. Yeah, he's not conventionally attractive.

[Brandon]

Sure.

[Donnie]

But I think that's what makes people attractive. Yes, the.

[Brandon]

No, I think being a little attractive also makes him attractive.

[Kyle]

No, like, that's high.

[Brandon]

That's

[Donnie]

who's. Who's. Who's a conventionally. Who's like the guy who's the perfect.

[Kyle]

I mean.

[Donnie]

I mean. Brandon, look at that. Yeah, look at that. Look at that.

[Brandon]

Well, not anybody can look good on the back of a horse. Yeah, if a horse is between your loins, you're going to look loads of steroids.

[Kyle]

I think most like dudes that get dragged on horses for like, dude, if I got on a horse today, the most emasculating thing.

[Brandon]

I'd be hot as fuck on a horse.

[Kyle]

No, no.

[Brandon]

God damn. I'd be hot on a horse. No, we should buy a horse just for pictures.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Okay. Ask Big Cat.

[Brandon]

Give. We should give Big Cat a list when he gets back what he needs to buy. Catches up.

[Kyle]

Need a horse for pictures. Big Cat.

[Titus]

I think we need to convince Big Cat to get us something, like, historical, like something that belongs in a museum. Because ever since that steakhouse bought Lincoln's flag, like, we need to get something that is almost a slap in the face, guys.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

That we have.

[Brandon]

We really do need to get together as a group in times like this and come up with a game plan for Big Cat's money.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Brandon]

He doesn't know.

[Titus]

We need to take. We need to take these times.

[Brandon]

We need. We need to rally around each other and get his money from his pocket to things that could entertain us for 5, 10 seconds at a time.

[Titus]

TJ, is there a website for like, historical auctions?

[Brandon]

Well, now. Careful. Ah, you pull it off. It's just my great grandfather. Yeah, There is. There are historical auctions because I almost bought a horseshoe that was on Mr. Ed.

[Titus]

My God.

[Brandon]

When I got to $2,000, I let it go. These are letters.

[Titus]

Signed things.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Okay. Old Abe's jokes.

[Titus]

His joke book.

[Brandon]

Wait, these.

[Titus]

Is it written by Abraham Lincoln?

[Brandon]

Fresh from Abraham's bosom.

[Titus]

Wait a minute.

[Kyle]

What's the context?

[Brandon]

Is there just a copy of that somewhere we can buy for cheap just so we can read it?

[Donnie]

We have to have this.

[Titus]

The real one would have to.

[TJ]

We do.

[Titus]

And just. It would be laying on the Floor

[Kyle]

of this bathroom.

[Donnie]

I decided we have to have this.

[Kyle]

What's it?

[Brandon]

Is it.

[Kyle]

Give. Give an example of a joke on

[Jack]

the back look like AI.

[Brandon]

Oh, God damn it.

[Titus]

Don't let it be no like it.

[Jack]

I mean, this is a real auction site. But like the. I don't know, it doesn't.

[Titus]

Ten penny songs, dollies.

[Brandon]

Ten. Are they just words and. Yeah.

[Titus]

Do you think there's a single funny joke in that book?

[Brandon]

I think there's a hilarious joke.

[Titus]

There's gotta be. Yes, Brandon, if you memorize it and you just travel doing Abraham Lincoln's set

[Kyle]

fresh from Abe Lincoln's bosom.

[Brandon]

We gotta. We gotta get this book.

[Titus]

But it's not by him. It's by Tr. Dolly.

[Brandon]

Old Abe's jokes fresh.

[TJ]

I found the PDF. Oh, it's just more of a book.

[Jack]

The book contains stories mostly with an ethnic bent.

[Donnie]

Oh, what does that mean?

[Brandon]

I'm not scared.

[Donnie]

To Lincoln, first president.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but Lincoln was.

[Donnie]

He was. He was one of the good guys.

[Brandon]

Not like it's from Rob.

[Titus]

Abe Lincoln was the first president with a sense of humor. You know, it'd be funny if we let these guys go. I got an idea, boys. How can that be our first president with a sense of humor?

[Brandon]

We have 15 presidents with no humor.

[Donnie]

What does that even mean? No smiling allowed in the White House. Until

[Brandon]

when did sense of humors become personality traits?

[Titus]

I think almost always.

[Brandon]

Almost always. Right. Like, even in the Middle Ages, there were just funny people. Okay.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

I had to court jesters and.

[Brandon]

Yeah, okay, fair enough, fair enough.

[Kyle]

But there was, like, the funny caveman who was like.

[Brandon]

But I bet you. I bet you were.

[Titus]

Imagine making Jesus laugh.

[Kyle]

Oh, forget.

[Brandon]

I don't think you were rallying, like, campaign support in 1864 by starting off your speech with a. Sure.

[Titus]

No, that was probably. Yeah, it was probably fucked up.

[Donnie]

And the court jester was not a desirable job.

[Brandon]

No, it was. It was.

[Titus]

Were they getting killed a lot if they weren't funny?

[Kyle]

Probably.

[Donnie]

That feels right.

[Brandon]

I'm going to see Cody Rhodes.

[Titus]

All right, man.

[Donnie]

Touch him five times.

[Brandon]

Five.

[Titus]

Five, please.

[Donnie]

That's the challenge. Remember it?

[Titus]

Any jokes in that?

[Donnie]

Remember, if he jokes, if he. If he catches you touching him, if he's like, why the. You keep touching me, bro? Then you lose. There's no jokes.

[TJ]

No, they're just facts about Abe looking at a coin.

[Titus]

That's funny, man.

[Frankie]

Wait, what.

[Titus]

What did he see?

[TJ]

They just described the coin.

[Titus]

What was the coin?

[TJ]

13 stars. What is this?

[Donnie]

That's really funny.

[TJ]

Father Abraham says he lately discovered in an old drawer which had not been open for years, a remarkable silver coin which had on one side a head with the word Liberty surrounded by 13 stars and the date 1860. On the opposite was an eagle with the motto E Pluribus Unum. The words United States of America, and the figures, 10 cents.

[Donnie]

It's pretty. It's pretty good.

[Titus]

It was funny.

[Kyle]

It was. That is funny.

[Titus]

And that's, like, one of the.

[TJ]

Cleaning up one example of a joke.

[Titus]

All right, maybe we scrap that one. Tj, what else is on that site?

[Donnie]

It's our first funny president, man.

[Kyle]

You know, you can look up his full job description, Everything. What do you mean, Abe LinkedIn.

[Max]

Oh, go back to the Abraham Lincoln jokes.

[Titus]

You were waiting for Titus to leave.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I want him to respect me so bad.

[Titus]

Oh, is that one of the coins he was looking at? What's like, something large

[Brandon]

that's.

[Kyle]

We don't really have? Well, I guess we have these statues, but, like, I keep thinking for that

[Titus]

one little grass spot, there has to be something.

[Kyle]

It's just this cement square with a sad bush.

[Titus]

It's perfect for a statue.

[Kyle]

It needs something.

[Titus]

Tj, Is there a website where you just get statues? Maybe just get the cheapest one.

[Jack]

Did you see that video of. There's, like, a guy that does, like, a art gallery, and he does, like, these experimental pieces. I guess you could say he did one where he did a bronze statue of, like, the Michelangelo statue, but instead it was Squidward, and then he submerged it in the sea in Greece so that thousands of years from now, somebody else would find it.

[Titus]

I did not see that.

[Jack]

And then you could buy, like, small replicas of it.

[Titus]

And did you, TJ?

[Brandon]

No.

[Jack]

They were, like, $300. Because they were bronze.

[Titus]

You should do it.

[Jack]

Statues. That's why I thought of it.

[Titus]

What?

[Kyle]

Could we get any other jokes in there?

[TJ]

Hard r on page 84. Okay, I didn't laugh. I don't think that's the joke.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Frankie]

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[Kyle]

So they were funny?

[Titus]

Yeah. Oh, that's cool.

[Brandon]

Oh, it's handsome.

[Titus]

Squidward.

[Max]

Damn.

[Titus]

Jeff DLO follows it.

[Kyle]

Fun idea.

[Titus]

Of course he does. Interesting account. He's like, almost got a million followers.

[Brandon]

It's crazy.

[Titus]

Anything, Kyle? Dean.

[Kyle]

I went. I went scuba diving once.

[Brandon]

Really?

[Kyle]

Not for me. Not for me.

[Max]

Why not?

[Kyle]

It's like, it was too scary. The thought that, like one little. I got like a 30 minute lesson on the sand in Monterey Bay and then I put the stuff on and you like just walked right in. It wasn't off a boat. And then we were like 60ft down. And I feel like I shouldn't have been allowed to do that. I don't know.

[Titus]

We.

[TJ]

It was too cool.

[Kyle]

It was.

[Titus]

No. Like, you just weren't trained.

[Kyle]

I just kept feeling like. Like I just don't know what the fuck. Yeah, it felt like a bit much. For what?

[Titus]

Right. We went to a place in mini Minneapolis or Minnesota where you could rent a tank and the training was 30 seconds and then they were just like, all right.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Kyle]

Have fun.

[Titus]

Take the tank out.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I just felt like I shouldn't have been allowed to do what I was doing and like one little thing would have. Could have fucked me up. I don't know.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

That's a bad way to go too.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

How deep were you, though?

[Kyle]

Like 60 something feet.

[Titus]

Oh, wow.

[Kyle]

And it was like dark and murky down there. It wasn't like.

[Titus]

Where were you doing this?

[Kyle]

Monterey Bay in California. But I said after. I said, I have zero interest in ever doing this ever again. Snorkeling. I'll do.

[Titus]

Is Chef Donnie in there?

[Donnie]

I didn't see it.

[Max]

I gotta peel.

[Titus]

Look.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Grab him. We need some bodies.

[Kyle]

Okay. I'll give you a snorkeling antidote. Off the coast again. Okay. I did snorkel off Catalina island, though, and that ruled.

[Titus]

I. I've never done anything like that. If I go on vacation, I don't do, like, things

[Kyle]

for a few days. But I. I gotta get things.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Or I get antsy.

[Titus]

Do you do things, Titus?

[Donnie]

Depends. A beach? No. Anywhere else? Yes.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Jersey shore. I sit on the beach all day for seven days. I don't do anything. But if I go somewhere else, I'll do the beach for a while, but then I gotta, like.

[Donnie]

Like. You went to Italy, didn't you?

[Titus]

Yeah, but I didn't have anything planned.

[Donnie]

Did you do, though?

[Titus]

Like, I walked and yeah, like, saw, but I didn't do any, like, paid for tours.

[Kyle]

And you loved it, right?

[Titus]

I loved it.

[Brandon]

Great.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Chaps is in Budapest.

[TJ]

Right now he's in Hungary or Hungary or.

[Kyle]

But some.

[TJ]

Yeah, he's immersing himself in the culture.

[Kyle]

Yeah. It's cool.

[Titus]

Have you gotten your passport yet, Kyle?

[TJ]

No.

[Titus]

Working on it.

[TJ]

Mentally, it's like. It's in the. Like, the panic section of my. My brain.

[Titus]

Why the panic section?

[TJ]

Like. Like the. You gotta do this.

[Brandon]

Oh.

[Titus]

Did you ever find your bag?

[Brandon]

No.

[Titus]

Kyle lost a bag with a folder in it with your birth certificate and Social Security card.

[TJ]

Yeah, Social Security.

[Donnie]

Oh, you just got to start over.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

You got it?

[TJ]

Forms. Yeah.

[Titus]

How long has it been missing?

[TJ]

Since about eight months.

[Titus]

Somebody could just be you.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Have you done anything about this? Like, what do you.

[Titus]

Do you call if you have nothing. I don't know how you even prove that you're you.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

So I think you. Yeah, I'll be fine.

[Titus]

Is okay.

[Kyle]

Where'd you. Can I ask where you lost it? Like, were you traveling?

[TJ]

That's why I'm not too worried. It's either here or at my apartment.

[Kyle]

You should maybe be worried if it's here, but if it's at your apartment, you're good. You're fine.

[TJ]

They have a closet that's so messy that, like, the thought of even tearing it apart to look for something is so. Stressful.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[TJ]

That I'll wait till I absolutely have to, which is next week when I move.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[TJ]

If it's not there, then, yeah, it

[Kyle]

is better to just, like. No, it's in there. Yeah.

[TJ]

Right.

[Titus]

You're convinced that it's in there.

[TJ]

Yes.

[Titus]

But, like, what is the process of getting your identity back?

[TJ]

I think that both are pretty easy.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

If you have, like, an ID you can get a Social Security card, which I've done before, and birth certificate. I think you can just order it.

[Kyle]

Anything like that gives me, like, paralysis.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Like, big time. But, like, I need to get a new sticker for my street parking. And.

[Titus]

Oh, yeah, I hate it.

[Kyle]

Like, it's like this when you actually do it. You're like, oh, but it kills me. I'll just let it. I'll get parking tickets for the next month.

[Donnie]

Doug. There he goes. See you, Doug.

[Titus]

Danny, you get him?

[Max]

Teddy needs one second.

[Donnie]

You got a trip coming up, Kyle, or you just. You want a passport? Just because I do.

[TJ]

Yeah. In the summer. July, Nova Scotia.

[Brandon]

Oh, you should.

[Titus]

That's sick.

[Jack]

Sign up for the global entry thing that they emailed about Kyle, if you haven't already. Global entry, like, lets you, like, surpass or go past u. S. Customs when you come back into the country. It's like a major.

[TJ]

Sounds like a big convenience.

[Jack]

Otherwise you would have to like go to the airport.

[TJ]

I don't want to do that.

[Jack]

Yeah, but they're gonna come here if you want.

[Titus]

Are you guys going with all the old school guys just posting close ups of the top of their head?

[Donnie]

No.

[Titus]

Then I open up my phone at dinner. I could be talking to my partner and let's just see that. Yeah, he posted the closest of UPS

[Donnie]

update for everyone following my journey.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Retweeted.

[Kyle]

He's like, thanks a lot. Thanks for this.

[Brandon]

Oh.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God.

[Max]

Looks like a cantaloupe.

[Jack]

Donnie said he called the clinic with me.

[Titus]

Or wait.

[Frankie]

Which is a question.

[Titus]

What? Oh, he was with you? Yeah, we just have. We don't have many people here.

[Donnie]

You what?

[Titus]

We don't have many people here.

[Frankie]

Oh, you're invited me to. Just to chill.

[Donnie]

I thought. What were you doing? Working on stickers or something?

[Frankie]

I'm marking. Yeah.

[Titus]

You didn't seem stressed.

[Frankie]

No, no stickers. Just going through clergy work, clerical work, clarity. You know what I meant. You know what I meant.

[Titus]

Clerical work. What kind of clerical work did you have?

[Frankie]

Barstool, sports, Clerical, clerical.

[Donnie]

There's a lot of barstool. Sports is like up to his eyeballs. And paperwork.

[Titus]

We're gone for like a week and now you have a bunch of files in your inbox.

[Frankie]

Yeah, dudes, it's, you know, middle of the week is what.

[Titus]

What were you doing Exactly?

[Kyle]

Slowly shredding KB's birth certificate.

[Frankie]

I was now planning out. Planning out, shoots, you know, clerical. Clerical work.

[Titus]

Were you thinking of food?

[Frankie]

I was, yeah. I was looking at recipes to make and Dave is doing a challenge with me tomorrow, but White Sox Dave? Yes, the new app. New series. We're doing the cooking competition. New series. They pick their dish, their best dish, and it's me versus them. We filmed a couple already, but Dave is.

[Titus]

So Dave has beaten you before on the yak.

[Frankie]

Dave beat me at. Yes, he beat me at the banana bread. So this is.

[Titus]

That's the last time you made it?

[Frankie]

I haven't made it since.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

No, Donnie. Dave as well.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Titus]

Do you know what he's challenging you with?

[Frankie]

No. That's the thing. It's a mystery. I find out the second we start cooking.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Oh.

[Kyle]

Can anyone challenge you?

[Frankie]

Yeah. If anyone thinks they can cook, like as a good.

[Donnie]

Like anyone.

[Frankie]

I know you can't cook anyone. You've already.

[Donnie]

I won your competition.

[Frankie]

You're a picky eater.

[Donnie]

I won your competition.

[Frankie]

You already said tape. I actually Invited you on what's for lunch? In your early days, when you.

[Brandon]

You.

[Titus]

When you were a nobody.

[Donnie]

I really did.

[Frankie]

You said no.

[Donnie]

I plucked you from obscurity.

[Frankie]

You turned it down multiple times.

[Donnie]

I did not turn it down. I did the exact opposite. I told you I wanted to do it.

[Titus]

You said, I don't like to eat anything for coacho.

[Frankie]

You said, I'm a picky eater.

[Donnie]

Want me for coo.

[Frankie]

Said I want to be a good guest because, I don't know, I. I like. I eat like a. A small girl is what you said.

[Titus]

Is that what you said?

[Donnie]

I may have said small girl. It does sound like something I would say. I won your. I won the cooking competition.

[Frankie]

You did?

[Max]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

You went against. I don't know who at that point. Yeah, it's. You know, that's like the. Being the tallest. Sorry, Zo.

[TJ]

Oh, man.

[Frankie]

Can you not say that?

[Titus]

I don't.

[Donnie]

Why'd you say sorry?

[Frankie]

Well, because he's our resident.

[Donnie]

Yeah, but you said it and said sorry immediately, so I think you knew.

[Titus]

Well, you had that locked and loaded. You could have had another.

[Frankie]

That'd have been a two. Tall as dwarf.

[Titus]

Right, but, like, can you switch up the metaphor to something else? It doesn't have to be tall. Smartest.

[Kyle]

And my little rat weren't watching.

[Frankie]

Smartest. Yeah, well, I mean, okay, what's another dumb profession?

[Titus]

Straightest.

[TJ]

Straightest.

[Frankie]

Straightest. Queer.

[TJ]

Thought you were going to. Can't say, like.

[Frankie]

Can't say that.

[TJ]

Ballerina or something. Skip the middleman.

[Frankie]

I mean, that's the cue.

[Brandon]

That's the Q.

[Frankie]

And lgbtq. Is that not the cue, or is it questionable?

[Titus]

Yeah, it's questionable.

[Frankie]

It's questioning.

[Titus]

It's questioning. What's the L?

[Frankie]

Lesbian B, Gay B? Oh, I don't know, actually. Back at it.

[TJ]

Back at it.

[Brandon]

Back to my old ways.

[Donnie]

Let's be back at it.

[Frankie]

We don't play this game. We don't have to play Scattergories or whatever. Yeah. Guest of the year.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God. Whoops.

[Titus]

Whoops a daisy. You can say it. It's the queue.

[Frankie]

Yeah, we'll go with questionable. It's whatever.

[Brandon]

It's.

[Frankie]

No, it's queer.

[Titus]

Yeah, it's queer.

[Frankie]

It's on tv. Queer art for the straight guy.

[Titus]

You're right.

[Frankie]

Good show. I haven't seen it, but I. Presumably. It's good.

[Titus]

It's good.

[Frankie]

It's good.

[Titus]

So I learned the French tuck.

[Frankie]

What's that? Where you put your.

[Titus]

No, you tuck in half.

[Donnie]

What do you think it was?

[Titus]

Donnie put your Dick between your legs.

[TJ]

French top.

[Donnie]

Is that where you guys are joining for?

[Titus]

That's your friend.

[Donnie]

That's what you.

[Brandon]

And the other.

[Titus]

One more time, did anything get back to Wolf about you talking?

[Frankie]

Oh, yeah, yeah. His mom was sending it around.

[Donnie]

All her friends.

[Brandon]

She was.

[Titus]

She liked that.

[Frankie]

She always wanted a gay son. She wanted, like. She wanted a gay son.

[Brandon]

Why?

[Frankie]

Just likes the idea of. Of having a. So she was loving it and yeah, Jack liked it. Look, at the end of the day, phenomenal.

[Titus]

Like.

[Frankie]

Like I said the first time, phenomenal interior designer.

[Titus]

If he was a chick, would he be your ideal partner?

[Frankie]

I mean, I don't know how to answer that question.

[Donnie]

I love him.

[Frankie]

Like, that's like saying, would I marry my brother? I don't. If my brother was a girl.

[Brandon]

Sister. Sister.

[TJ]

Right.

[Frankie]

So no. Right.

[Titus]

But he's not your actual brother.

[Frankie]

Yeah, he is. He's closer than some of my brothers are to me. So not going now. You're not going to try to trick me. I'm not trying to. Being gay on camera.

[Titus]

I'm not trying to trick you. I said if he was a girl.

[Frankie]

Look, he's my best friend. And yeah, he did take some backlash. And I had. I said, I apologize. I apologize. You actually were the. You said, what does he do? You knew exactly what you're doing. He knew his profession.

[Titus]

I was curious what he did for a living.

[Frankie]

And you know that most men that do interior design are of the it's

[Titus]

clear categories in the 90s and. Stop that. What?

[Donnie]

You what?

[Brandon]

That's a. Just.

[Titus]

It's got to be in the 90 percentile, right?

[Frankie]

Probably.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Yeah. And he's one of the. One of. He's a straight interior designer and he's fantastic at it. It does great work.

[Titus]

What's his, like, best room?

[Frankie]

I don't know. I don't know the deal.

[Titus]

You lived with him. What room looked the best?

[Frankie]

His. His.

[Brandon]

Nice dude.

[Frankie]

Nice man. The one nice dude. What, you don't see your roommate's bedrooms? You don't.

[Titus]

Look,

[Frankie]

You're trying to railroad me.

[Titus]

No, I'm not. I'm trying to learn about you and your friends.

[Frankie]

You know him. You've met him. You hung out with him. You've known him just as long as me. I've known him for less than known him. You've known him from New York to here. You've known him for longer than two years.

[Titus]

I've known for three years.

[Frankie]

No. Yes. You filmed the sketch in our apartment. Long, long piss. You remember Long piss.

[Titus]

This was funny.

[Frankie]

Long Piss was great. Some of your best work.

[Titus]

This was good. I love having you around, chef.

[Frankie]

Yeah, you know, look, I'm in a good mood. I'm back from France. It's so you can't get me riled up.

[Kyle]

It looks like last night you were red light maxing.

[Frankie]

That was it. This morning I was on. I was still jet lag. So I put the. I got the new. New technology out, new science out.

[Titus]

Every bit of you was red face.

[Frankie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go.

[Donnie]

Wow.

[Titus]

And how did you feel afterwards?

[Frankie]

Recharged.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

While tired. Cuz I got up at 4 in the morning, so by 8 I was already like ready for nap. But that helped. It might have made me tired. I don't know. It's doing something. It's for sure doing something.

[Titus]

It's good.

[Frankie]

It's good.

[Titus]

We got to get shooting on the next episode.

[Frankie]

Yeah, we do. Doing the most. Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

You know the topic yet?

[Titus]

Yeah, I don't want to say it.

[Frankie]

I want to say it just yet.

[Donnie]

That's what he said.

[Frankie]

Well, it's a team effort. It's a team show. Something you would know little about.

[TJ]

Basketball.

[Titus]

What do you got to say?

[Donnie]

No, no.

[Titus]

I would love for you to review Titus's book.

[Frankie]

I would like.

[Donnie]

That would be good.

[Frankie]

I would read his. What is it? A biography?

[Donnie]

Yeah. A memoir, I guess. Yeah.

[Frankie]

You wrote a memoir?

[Titus]

It's a memoir just appearing.

[Frankie]

I thought you had to be like 80 for that. Yeah, or like hyper successful and not that you're not like a billionaire, a mogul, a titan. You wrote it in college.

[Donnie]

I mean, anybody could write. It's.

[Frankie]

You wrote in college though, right?

[Donnie]

Yeah. Yeah, I was right out of college.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Okay. Don't put me in, coach. That's how I felt most of my hockey career.

[Donnie]

Huh. Well, yeah. We might find some common ground.

[Frankie]

You might be.

[Donnie]

What's up?

[Frankie]

Were you a bench guy?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

See? All right. We're finding common ground. Could you have been a great. Could you had it in you to be great?

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah.

[Frankie]

Yep. Same.

[Donnie]

Yeah. If I just would have got the right opportunity, sure. I would have dominated probably.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

I don't know if he's me. You could have been an all star and I would. I'm sorry, I don't.

[Titus]

No, no, it's.

[Frankie]

Not a basketball fan.

[Donnie]

No. Yeah.

[Frankie]

It's about. Can I see the title again?

[Titus]

That's how we got the name Club Trillion.

[Frankie]

Really?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

That was more of a nightclub esque side of you. Don't put me in code.

[Titus]

It's a wordy title.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I will read it, Titus. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and read your book.

[Donnie]

Good review, too.

[Frankie]

If you read mine, we'll do a book swap. Mine's mostly pictures.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah. But I'll read it. Then.

[Titus]

You guys should do a book swap. You're the only two authors in this building, right?

[TJ]

That's crazy. Yeah.

[Titus]

Big cats soon.

[Kyle]

Who did the bar book? Okay, Marco.

[Titus]

Okay, Marco.

[Frankie]

In this building. In this building.

[Kyle]

Oh, in this building, at this company.

[Donnie]

Look at us, Donnie. Published authors.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not. It's no small feat, tell you that.

[Titus]

Number one bestseller.

[Donnie]

Did you write your own book?

[Frankie]

I did. I wrote my entire. I wrote it myself.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

And then you, like, locked yourself away

[Titus]

in a cabin, right?

[Frankie]

No, that was for the photos. We did a cabin.

[Titus]

Oh, I thought you kind of just.

[Frankie]

No, I locked my. I mean, I pitched the idea to Nardini in, like, August. I was like, hey, I have a cookbook. Can we sell it? And she's like, yeah, can. Can you do it by Black Friday? Sure, no problem. I hadn't written. I had just had the idea. So I had, like, two months to write a whole book. So I crammed. Like, I just spent every waking. And, you know, it's a lot of spelling mistakes that I.

[Titus]

Your cookbook? Really?

[Frankie]

No, I had a. I had a proofreader, but that was my. That was Peter, my roommate.

[Titus]

Rotten Peter was your proofreader? Rotten, Rotten Peter, the proofreader.

[Frankie]

Ron, Peter and Jack. And Wolf was another. He was a proof. They were both English majors along with me, but they were better than me at the English part of the major, so they proofread as much as they could. And then we put it. We put it out, and there's still, you know, Beacon. There's a couple bacon spelled like Beacon. That one threw me off, but I think we caught most of them.

[Kyle]

Do you get. Oh, sorry.

[Titus]

No, go ahead.

[Kyle]

Do you get DMS from people, like, always sharing, like, look what I made from your book. Kind of thing?

[Frankie]

People do, Yeah, I would love.

[Donnie]

Oh, is it. It's a cookbook.

[Frankie]

What's that?

[Donnie]

Is it a cookbook?

[Frankie]

This guy, man. Yes, Mark, it's a cookbook. No. What'd you think? It's a memoir.

[Donnie]

Well, coloring book.

[Titus]

Mark has a memoir.

[TJ]

Yeah, but you did more than write the recipes, right?

[Donnie]

I research wrote a lot. Like, you don't write a lot in a cookbook.

[Frankie]

No, there's an intro, there's stories, there's anecdotes.

[Donnie]

There's a couple cups of this. Couple splashes of that.

[Frankie]

I honestly haven't. To be honest, I haven't cracked it since I came out, so I haven't, like, read Rewrite.

[Donnie]

It's kind of like my mom's cookbook, then, probably.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Titus, I was trying. I'm really trying to build a new leaf with you, man. And it's. You're making it hard. You're making it really hard. Hard to build.

[Donnie]

Oh.

[TJ]

Oh.

[Donnie]

It says right there, it's not.

[Frankie]

Your wife cooks. I'll send her a copy, and she'll prove you that anyone can use it.

[Titus]

What's the emotion you're trying to convey on the COVID

[Frankie]

Yeah, the COVID of the book is like, anyone can do this. How do I end up here?

[Titus]

Okay. Yeah, it does.

[Donnie]

That's good.

[Frankie]

Yeah. No, I'm very proud of the book. I'll joke. You have a few where I'm like, out. I need all the copies I can.

[Titus]

I bought them.

[Frankie]

Buy them back from you.

[Titus]

I have, like, three.

[Frankie]

No, Kitty aside. I'm very proud of the book. And it took a. You know, it's like. It came out well. And the recipes are. It's. Most cookbooks are for people that don't know how to or already assume you have a baseline knowledge of cooking. So this one is completely ground up. If you don't even know what pots and pans to buy, you start at the. At the beginning.

[Titus]

When's volume two?

[Frankie]

Working on it.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Yeah, working on it. It has no pen to paper yet, but.

[Donnie]

Do you have a title in mind?

[Frankie]

Probably not. Your father's cookbook.

[Donnie]

It's good.

[Frankie]

No, that's a joke, man. That's not good.

[TJ]

Why would you.

[Frankie]

No, I think I have a couple ideas. There's a couple ways to go about it, but I don't know. No, you guys don't care about my books, man.

[Brandon]

I do.

[Titus]

I have a three.

[Brandon]

I.

[Frankie]

That's. Give them out as gifts, man. Spread the.

[Brandon]

No, I know.

[Frankie]

What are you gonna do with.

[Titus]

I bought three. I have one in my house. One of my mom, one of my sister.

[Frankie]

Okay. Oh, that's good.

[Titus]

There we go.

[Frankie]

That's fair enough.

[Titus]

So I guess it is my mother's cookbook now.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Ironically, a lot of moms have that book.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

They needed it.

[Frankie]

Yeah. You know, support.

[Titus]

The mom.

[Frankie]

Community is very supportive. You're very. That's a very proud community.

[TJ]

What you think young men should know how to cook.

[Frankie]

I think. Yeah. I think it's a lost art. It's a lost.

[Kyle]

As a lady. I'll say, and this is not a weird way to you, but like, Pat can cook and it's like one of the hottest things to me when he, like, just looks at the ingredients that we have without looking and like, whips up like a really good sauce or something.

[Frankie]

I'm like, it's really not as complicated as people make it. As people make it seem to be.

[Titus]

It's a lot of timing that I can't do. You have to have your brain on different things at the same time.

[Frankie]

Trust me, man, if. If I can figure it out.

[Titus]

No, I don't think so. Different skill sets maybe. Do you think going to French immersion school has done more harm than good to you?

[Frankie]

Spelling wise, for sure, but no. I mean, being able to speak in second language is. Is a nice skill to have for it, but it sucked at the time. All my friends at the normal school and we were the Frenchies, but it

[Titus]

went to the Frenchie.

[Frankie]

But it was mostly like. To be honest, the kids that came out of French immersion were all like, gifted, very smart kids. I don't know what happened. I don't know how I didn't get any of that.

[Titus]

You got into Wisconsin. That's your.

[Frankie]

Yeah, but. But like, one of the girls went to the national spelling bee. So the spelling thing doesn't really track. I think that might have just been un undiagnosed. Adult dyslexia could be that rude because Rudy claims he had. He has it. He goes, you're. I'm not. He's diagnosed me.

[Titus]

Rudy keeps challenging me to a read off, which I accepted. But I said, you have to figure out what it is I can read well.

[Frankie]

I just can't read out loud. So take that as you will.

[Titus]

But how do you know?

[Donnie]

How do you.

[Titus]

You're making mistakes if it's just in your head.

[Frankie]

Because if it's a word I don't know, I just assume. I just get around it.

[Donnie]

How is that reading?

[TJ]

Back to reading. You just Skip over the 1, just

[Donnie]

deciding what it says on your own.

[Frankie]

You know, 90 of the page.

[Max]

You know, if no one can hear.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I mean that. I think there's a lot of people out there that can attest to that.

[Kyle]

You ever read an entire book and then find out you were reading certain words wrong the entire time? I remember Harry Potter, Hermione.

[Brandon]

Her.

[Kyle]

Hermione. That's how I was doing it the entire time. And then I saw the movie. I was like, what the.

[Titus]

Changed everything.

[Kyle]

I've had a few things like that.

[Titus]

Are you like a good Studier.

[TJ]

It.

[Frankie]

I don't know. Define.

[Titus]

You went to a hard school and then you went.

[Frankie]

I was good at taking. I was good at getting. I was good at doing the max. The minimum to get the maximum to get the best result, if that makes sense.

[Kyle]

That. Yes, I get that.

[Frankie]

I could get by really well.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

With minimal effort.

[Titus]

That's good.

[Frankie]

And then. Yes. So I would just cram. I don't know, like, probably like most people. And then just didn't. And then just had to cheat at math. Other than that, I was good reading. Believe it or not, reading and writing were my strong suits. And then math. And math was.

[Titus]

But going in as an English major, what was your end goal?

[Frankie]

I wanted to. I was a creative writing major. Dude. I wanted to, like. I want to do journal. I was. Wanted to do, like, Hunter S. Thompson S Journals. Just, like, join a gang and, like, go to jail for a day or some.

[Titus]

Oh, like vice? Were you a big Vice?

[Frankie]

Yeah, I liked vice. I really liked vice. I was like a war reporter. I don't know.

[Titus]

I could see you being.

[Frankie]

I Actually, first, I wanted to be a criminal. The criminal defense lawyer. Whoa. That got shut down right away when I realized.

[Titus]

Wait, you wanted to, like, help the criminal?

[Frankie]

Yeah. So I want to be on the criminal side.

[Titus]

Why?

[Frankie]

Just always. I've always rooted. Depends on what the crime is.

[Donnie]

But you've always rooted for the criminals.

[Frankie]

Sometimes it's like. I don't know.

[Brandon]

It's.

[Frankie]

It's. Anyway, I met with a criminal defense lawyer, and the first thing he said was, you know, do you have any morals? And I go, I don't.

[Titus]

I kind of.

[Frankie]

He goes, well, throw them out the window for this job.

[Brandon]

Oh, wow.

[Frankie]

All right. Yeah. Successful lawyer that he was. Kind of a brutal guy. But so, yeah, criminal defense was first choice.

[Max]

Inspired that. That you saw?

[Frankie]

I don't know. I don't. I kind of like. I don't know. What case? There's no case in particular.

[Donnie]

Just.

[Frankie]

I think there's more money on the. Than the prosecuting side. It's more for white collar crimes. I wanted to help white collar guys out.

[Max]

Gotcha.

[Titus]

What do you mean?

[Kyle]

Like.

[Frankie]

Like, financial crimes, tax evasion, stuff that Jerry would do? Like, things that. Yeah, things that aren't really that bad. Like, you know,

[Brandon]

they're bad.

[Frankie]

They just. Trust me. I paid my taxes. All of them.

[Titus]

Good.

[Donnie]

All of them.

[Frankie]

One by one after. I mean. Yes, all. They're all.

[Titus]

Have you ever gotten into trouble with the law? Yeah.

[Frankie]

Define. I mean, yes and no.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Frankie]

Yeah. No.

[Titus]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Part.

[Titus]

Well, you don't have to.

[Frankie]

No, I mean, I got arrested. Storm chasing. Oh, yeah, that. With Caleb around. That was a fawn arrest.

[Titus]

You had a hot mug shot, too.

[Frankie]

That was a fun. It's my profile picture.

[Titus]

Is it still.

[Frankie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm afraid to change it because if I. I don't know where that picture is in my phone, so I'll never see it again.

[Titus]

Can't you just save it from Twitter?

[Frankie]

Oh, that's probably. Yeah, but the quality might suck. Oh, it's on Google.

[Titus]

Oh, yeah. But you had to dig for that, right?

[Frankie]

Yeah, no, that was. That was fun. No, I was good at evading the cops. It was always fun to get. I never got, like, a drinking ticket as a kid.

[Titus]

That was always fun.

[Frankie]

Yeah, that was always fun. I was. Yeah, that was always a good time. No, no, no. No. Major illegal trouble.

[Jack]

Good.

[Brandon]

No.

[Frankie]

No broken bones, no cops.

[Titus]

I like peeling you back layer by layer.

[Frankie]

Yeah. I'm trying to think what's the worst thing I did?

[Titus]

But I don't have to say.

[Frankie]

No, I'm trying to think. It's because it's not bad.

[Titus]

You know, you're like a abandoned building breaker and.

[Frankie]

Yeah, like trespass, like B E and trespass, like B E on abandoned buildings. Yeah.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

But the most scared you've been where you were. Like, I may have taken it too far this time.

[Frankie]

Oh, like a ch. Like in China. Because I was doing that and like, a guy came on the roof, like, security guard. And I was like, I don't know what the ramifications are. In China.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Caught doing this.

[Kyle]

But he just kicked you out.

[Frankie]

I just ran. Oh, yeah. I was like, I'm gone.

[Titus]

But you and other. Donnie slept in ikea.

[Frankie]

I slept in an IKEA in China. I did that. That was another dump. Looking back, like, probably stayed in a

[Titus]

closet till it closed or something. Or you.

[Frankie]

I found a closet, went into the. Went into the closet.

[Titus]

And then what happened?

[Frankie]

I stayed in the closet. Did you know that? You really planned this out? No, I stayed in. It was more of a bookshelf, you could say, for the. Like, for the story. It was a claw. It was a closet. It was a. It was a woman's. It was a man's closet for this.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Titus]

I was in a man's closet.

[TJ]

It's a men's closet.

[Frankie]

Anyway, I stayed in the closet. Stowed, like, stowaway style. The lot of the store closed. And then I guess IKEA started making. Because people were going viral for sleeping in IKEA's they would check. They had a policy nationwide or worldwide where they had to check every drawer. So eventually the guy got to mine and was more scared than I was, I think.

[Kyle]

What did he do?

[Frankie]

He saw a blonde, a white kid in a Chinese in the middle of Shanghai in a closet. Was not the one not expecting that. So he screamed. I screamed. And then.

[Titus]

Were you sleeping or.

[Frankie]

No, I was sweating bullets, dude. It was so hot in there. I was sweating profusely. Donnie gave me a bottle of wine and like, crackers.

[Titus]

He's like, wait, was he in the ikea?

[Frankie]

No, he left.

[Titus]

He sent you to do that?

[Frankie]

And then I. He like, I checked. I got into. I. We planned it out. So I booked a hostel so if like, the cops did catch me, it wouldn't go back to his apartment where he lived. I could say, I'm just staying here. And then I booked my flight for the next morning. So, like the very least, I assume, like, I'll just leave the country. Like, don't arrest me. Like what's called. What's handshake deal. I'll never come back. Yeah, Rip my visa out.

[Titus]

Is that what happened?

[Frankie]

No, they like, I just. I ran again. I ran away. I'm good. I guess I'm good at running away. They never caught me.

[TJ]

We ran away from the man in the store.

[Frankie]

In the store. He opened the door, saw me, both kind of yelled. I ducked. Did like a swim move by him and just sprinted out. Sprinted out of the store and got out.

[Titus]

I thought it was another Donnie. Other Donnie left you with communion. And he's like, enjoy ikea.

[Frankie]

Yeah. But I was so down for it. Like, I was.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Donnie didn't leave me.

[Titus]

I was.

[Frankie]

Was my idea. Oh, yeah, yeah. Donnie was. Donnie was honestly more supportive of being like, are you sure you want to do this? I was like, yeah.

[Titus]

Did you film it?

[Frankie]

Yeah, yeah. It's an old. It's a video. There. Better get comfortable, cuz I'm going to be in here for a while. I think we had an R. Kelly trap in the closets. I downloaded R. Kelly's Traps in the Closet, so I think that song keep me busy. I mean, I am trapped in the closet, so it works out pretty well. I. Hurry up and get in the closet.

[Titus]

What was that an ad for in the middle?

[TJ]

Chardonnay here.

[Frankie]

So, I mean, that was nice, but at that moment, I would have preferred to have a little bit of water. 10:30pm I heard the cleaners come by. I heard the vacuums. This is when it was getting real I was like, all right, I'm actually. I'm doing this. I'm sleeping in IKEA tonight. First hq.

[Titus]

I was never there.

[Frankie]

People were right outside.

[Titus]

Oh, so you were doing this in

[Brandon]

front of everybody, Cleaning clothes?

[Titus]

You haven't changed up the cleaning clothes.

[Frankie]

Things started.

[Titus]

You could have edited that out.

[Frankie]

I'm actually in China. This is a communist country. Not really sure what the trespassing laws are if I get caught.

[Max]

You could tell.

[Brandon]

You're nervous.

[Titus]

Talking in the middle of the office, looking around.

[Frankie]

But the cleaners came by, no problems. 11 o', clock, I hear another pass of people come through. Then my phone starts buzzing. It's my mom calling. She calls again. I was like, holy shit, mom, if you keep calling, next time I'm going to talk to you is in a Chinese prison. Just stop. Another half hour goes by. I'm like, all right, this is it. I'm in the clear. In an hour or so, I'll be able to walk out of my hiding spot and just jump around IKEA like Buddy the Elf when he's in Gibson's or the. That mall was. That's what I was picturing in my head. It's now 11:30. No, I haven't heard any noise for at least a half an hour. I've been crammed in my closet. I'm all right, this is it.

[Titus]

You're more nervous narrating.

[Frankie]

Then suddenly, someone starts opening the whole barstool office. Dave's office is, like, right there.

[Brandon]

I'm an intern.

[Frankie]

No one knows who I am.

[Titus]

Thought you just have our.

[Frankie]

The audio. Our mics cut out. Donnie's mic didn't work. Our GoPro mic didn't work. And I. I played it off like just the dumb American. I was like, oh, sweaty. Yeah. You know, Johnny said I could sleep here. He said it was cool. You know, he. He does it all the time. And he's like. He just looked at me. I was like, no, no, it's cool. I know Donnie.

[Titus]

He's.

[Frankie]

His old place.

[Jack]

He said it was cool.

[Brandon]

Great.

[Kyle]

Puppy dog.

[Frankie]

I didn't stay here. Yeah, yeah. Security guards. No, no, no. Go, go. So I thought, all right, this. I could be. I could be fucked here.

[Titus]

And what time was this?

[Frankie]

This was. And then he came after me. That's when I ran. He just walked me out. I was outside at 12. 12pm had nowhere to sleep. 12pm

[Kyle]

yeah.

[Titus]

Time for lunch.

[Frankie]

That's it. 12pm in that too.

[Brandon]

What's up, dude?

[Frankie]

I'm back. Yeah.

[Max]

What do you mean it didn't Work out.

[Frankie]

Like I tried to sleep there. I got caught. I almost got arrested. I got kicked out of the. The store.

[Brandon]

Where'd you sleep?

[Frankie]

In a cabinet.

[Brandon]

You climbed into a cabinet to go to bed?

[Frankie]

Yeah. Where else is I?

[Brandon]

That is sketchy as fuck. Dude, didn't you see one of my first videos?

[Frankie]

You go into the bed.

[Titus]

Donnie did it during the day.

[Frankie]

Fuck was I supposed to know that?

[Brandon]

Who sleeps in a cabinet that shits for like food and stuff? There's a million beds in the place and you chose a cabinet?

[Frankie]

I don't know. I thought it'd be a good idea.

[Brandon]

I'm sorry, dude, that's not my problem. Like I'm happy you didn't get arrested, but dude, like, don't come back like here trying to blame it on me.

[Donnie]

Is it.

[Frankie]

Can I like cry? I'm only here for like another night. Is it cool to crash?

[Brandon]

Dude, they found a full on like nest of bugs in there. Straight off, straight out Infestation. Yeah.

[Jack]

So the.

[Brandon]

The fumigators gotta work.

[Titus]

How long were you in China?

[Frankie]

Oh, I did two stints. Two tours over there. Yeah. The first one was like probably only like two, two months. Like when I was that intern. I came back. No, Then I came back long time. Yeah. And then I went back for the summer internship in New York and then went back to college, dropped out and moved back to China for like five months.

[Kyle]

Four or five months with Donnie or just on your Donnie?

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Frankie]

I moved back for. For him. Yeah. To be like his. His producer out there.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Yeah. No, so like all in total? I don't know, like, I don't know, six months, seven, eight months. I don't know, something around there. A good amount was split up, but. And I was supposed to go again. I was supposed to go 2020 and then covet hit. I was, I was like gonna get an apartment there and go there indefinitely.

[Titus]

And then you want to move to China?

[Frankie]

And definitely that's what I did.

[Titus]

Work at Barstool.

[Frankie]

Yeah, it was for Donnie still living there. But. But I read. Honestly at that point I didn't want to go to China. And that's when I put my hat in the ring to do Dave, like Portnoy's pizza reviews. And I did that little stint doing that.

[Titus]

You were that. And then were you the producer of Call Her Dad?

[Frankie]

I did Call her daddy for Sophia's new book? No, I was post Sophia. It was just Alex. Just in the Alex era. But I got to meet Miley Cyrus.

[TJ]

We went to her house and she complimented you.

[Frankie]

She did. That's still, like, the best compliment I've ever received in my life. What'd you say Miley Cyrus called me? It's a hot.

[Titus]

For lack of a better word, she called you a little hottie.

[Frankie]

Yeah. I hope that saved hottie was her exact quote. Because I that one up big time.

[Titus]

What do you mean?

[Frankie]

Well, we went to Miley Cyrus's house, and at this point in my, like, technical producing career, I had video mastered, but I'd never done podcasting. And Alex was just filming all her own stuff. So it was during COVID Miley was like, yeah, we have to. You have to have a minimal crew. Like, normally you hire an audio technician. That's for. Just for sound for this, for Miley Cyrus. But it was just me and it was my first ever podcast recording was Miley Cyrus. And I didn't even know how the fucking little. I don't know. It's like the mics that you plug in the Zoom recorder. Yeah, I didn't fully know how to use it. I should have probably tested in hotel. Didn't. So we show up to Miley's house. I'm setting it up, and I'm like, asking Alex, I'm like, so is this how you usually, like, have it? She's like, don, what the. Like, free her. She's free. I'm like, never mind. I'm kidding. Like, I know how to do all this. We plug the mics in the XLR cords. I'm doing mic checks. Alex sounds great. Miley is just. Just straight static. Just like all. I'm like, oh, like this. I'm just doing knobs and dials, just moving around. It's. I got it. Like, it's good in my head. I go, there's the courts. Like, there's nothing. Nothing we can do. Miley Cyrus out of nowhere goes, wait, I think I might, like, I might have something to save your ass run, sir. Garage. She'd happen to be. She's like, usually I don't record here. I usually record at my house in Beverly Hills. Like, like, all right. Her at third house in la. But she's like, I happen to be recording something last night in my room. She grabbed the cord, the exact XLR cord, plugged it in, work. Like, she probably saved my career, to be honest.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I think I would have been

[Frankie]

booted for that one. I have that all on video. I remember we posted it in. Kelly Martin at the time, our PR lady was like, you can't post that. Miley like, her team is very strict about what they approve. I'm like, really? So I had to delete it, but

[Titus]

you had to delete Miley Cyrus calling you hot.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

I have noticed me the hardest.

[Frankie]

I've never reposted it. Dude. I don't know.

[Titus]

Tj. Do you want to.

[Frankie]

Maybe I'll send it it if I can find it with.

[TJ]

The whole podcast was deleted forever.

[Frankie]

No, no, no. Not the podcast. Just the clip I had. I had the cameras rolling during the whole time where Miley was, like, doing the mic check. We don't need to show this.

[Brandon]

This is.

[Donnie]

This is just for my personal pleasure.

[Kyle]

I'd like to see it.

[Donnie]

We have to.

[Frankie]

I think I have it saved in a folder called Miley Cyrus.

[Titus]

You know, Titus was drafted to the Globetrotters, though.

[Frankie]

Were you actually? Yeah, I grew up on that. Dude, that. In the circus, you're not. So. Yeah, that's a.

[Brandon]

What?

[Frankie]

I used to see them every year when they come to the. The Target center in Minneapolis.

[Titus]

That and then Sun Ming. Ming as well.

[Frankie]

And I loved it because you'd go and you'd get the laser. You get the.

[Titus]

The sword.

[Donnie]

Yep.

[Frankie]

Stands the. It's like a big light baton.

[Donnie]

Yeah, it was.

[Frankie]

That's the only reason that was my idea. Mark. Don't play around like that. But it's. That's cool that you got drafted to that innovation.

[Titus]

Like.

[Frankie]

Well, it didn't pan out or what? Bet you were benched for that on that team as well. What book is that? What book is that it?

[Titus]

Oh, it's a blood bath.

[Frankie]

Oh, it kind of is. That's cool. If it's for real. If it's serious. I mean, I don't know how cool. That's like being on the Savannah Bananas.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah. Because you seem pretty excited.

[Frankie]

I actually. Well, you unlocked. You unlocked a childhood memory. I forgot about the Globetrotters.

[Donnie]

That's what I did it for.

[Frankie]

I did, like. Yeah, they do that. You pull the guy's pants down. It's probably your job.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Doing that in practice.

[Titus]

Practicing pulling pants down.

[Frankie]

That's. That is fun.

[TJ]

Gotta save the hands.

[Brandon]

No.

[Frankie]

Club Tron. Club trotting.

[Max]

Yeah. You almost legally changed your name to Frankie.

[Frankie]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

[Titus]

What, to be a Dave guy.

[Frankie]

To be Dave's. Dave's guy was like. He's like, you know, if you're serious about this, like, you legally have to change your name to Frankie. I was like, well, fucking no one calls me about my legal name anyway. What difference does it make? So I Went to court, and I was legally going to change my name to Frankie Donnie Enriquez. Did all the paperwork, called my parents, told them that my mom was like, what? Why? Like, so heartbroken. My dad was like, I get it. Like, guess you got to do what you got to do, like, whatever. And then it was before Thanksgiving. I remember this because if I didn't catch Dave in passing, I would have changed my name. I would hide the court date the next day. And then we had Thanksgiving break and Dave was leaving. The office is like, oh, by the way, like, I'm changing my name to Frankie tomorrow. Like, I got all the paperwork and I have the court date. He goes, no, don't. Don't actually do that. Thank God I. Thank God I called him because I would have just gone to court and changed my name and I would have just.

[TJ]

Your mom.

[Frankie]

My mom would have, yeah.

[TJ]

This. My poor Andrew.

[Frankie]

It would have been brutal.

[TJ]

Now he's Frankie Don Frankie Donnie

[Frankie]

for a job. I like, didn't even have. Like, probably two weeks later is when Austin, like, he got Austin and someone else. I would have had Frankie Donnie for no reason.

[Max]

Oh, can you change it back?

[Frankie]

Oh, here's the clip. Yeah, you can, but it's a lot of people.

[Kyle]

Save your life right now I literally know where a kick was.

[Frankie]

Let's hope to God this is the tea.

[Kyle]

No problem. I hope that really works.

[Alex]

Here we go.

[Titus]

How do I sound?

[Kyle]

Oh, my God, I'm nervous.

[Frankie]

Everybody hold your breath.

[Kyle]

I hope I saved hottie. Oh, can you hear me?

[Frankie]

And then Alex.

[TJ]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Thank you so much.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God, that is so.

[Brandon]

Honey, What a story.

[Kyle]

You get to say that Miley called you hottie and saved.

[Kate]

That was so lucky.

[Frankie]

Cuz I have that for the most random reason.

[Titus]

Damn.

[Brandon]

Wow, that's cool.

[Frankie]

Yeah, no, that was. That was cool.

[TJ]

What did you do afterwards?

[Frankie]

Sweat. I just.

[TJ]

After the podcast.

[Brandon]

Oh.

[Frankie]

After the podcast, I flew right back to. From LAX to New York, still not knowing if the audio was, like, cracked or not. I had all the SD cards. Like, it just in my. I held on to them. I was like, I can't lose. I didn't even dump the footage. It was like, however long that flight is, five hours of just pure things. I couldn't watch anything. Yeah, that was.

[Titus]

Did you try to DM Miley Cyrus?

[Frankie]

I did DM right afterwards.

[Titus]

Did you actually,

[Frankie]

I said I had such a great time. Like, thanks so much for like, saving the day. Because someone was like, you look like your ex boyfriend. I was like, dude, maybe I have a chance like maybe delusional and I. Maybe I can find the dm. I'm sure I still have it. But yeah, I DM there.

[Titus]

Of course you'd have to.

[Frankie]

I had to.

[Titus]

How soon after?

[Frankie]

Probably like the next day

[Kyle]

as she's doing the interview with Alex.

[Frankie]

Yeah, no, I deleted it. I was probably too embarrassed, but yeah, I deleted.

[Kyle]

I. Yeah, you got the tongue action and everything.

[Donnie]

Oh, look at that.

[Max]

That's awesome.

[Frankie]

I know. She was freshly signal. I think she just broken up with.

[Titus]

Oh, she just looked you up and down too, Donnie.

[Frankie]

I know, dude. And she was giving me signs.

[Donnie]

That was. That was you that she was looking at.

[Frankie]

She had no one else there, Mark. Nobody else. Three of us.

[Donnie]

I just noticed you're not in the camera shot.

[Frankie]

Well, because I was behind it. And if you notice, I was wearing all black. That's what you do.

[Donnie]

I couldn't notice because you're not in the shot.

[Frankie]

Yeah, I. Well, you can see my ass in the beginning. Look at me. And I'm wearing. I'm wearing hyphen and clothes right here.

[Titus]

Nice and tight fitting.

[Donnie]

You do?

[Frankie]

Yeah, why?

[Titus]

Tight fit.

[Frankie]

That's me. Well, that's just how I was back then.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Frankie]

Athletic.

[Titus]

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[Kyle]

Love some Wayfair.

[Donnie]

Have we done Roebuck?

[Titus]

No, we haven't. Go ahead.

[Donnie]

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[Titus]

Can you borrow it?

[Frankie]

You can borrow it because I only have a couple copies, but you can borrow my display of just scoop it

[Donnie]

at Goodwill or something.

[Titus]

What's your favorite recipe?

[Frankie]

Can't get it. Goodwill.

[Titus]

What's your favorite recipe in the book?

[Frankie]

Dude, it's so basic. It's not like anything that's gonna blow your mind away. I mean, don't. I don't mean it like that. It's a great book. It's like. But it's like how to cook a chicken breast. Okay. It's a whole book. I'll explain how it's wr. It's written from. From beginning to. It gets easier as it goes. It gets harder as it goes. It gets harder as it goes. So you start at breakfast because breakfast is the easiest and the cheapest. So if you eggs up, you can restart, no problem. And then you take those skills and you move to chicken and then the steak and into beef and then you learn how to make sauces. So it's. It gets different. I mean, I think I like the. You know, the chicken fajitas are a great recipe and they're super easy. Sheet pan. Great for you for kids, great for meal prep.

[Titus]

Is there any copies on ebay?

[Frankie]

I doubt it. I don't know. I don't.

[Titus]

Might be some.

[Frankie]

I don't think anyone's selling. I think if you have it, you keep it forever.

[Titus]

But if they're rare.

[Frankie]

They're not rare. I just like print them. I have a bad. I have. Printing is a nightmare headache. So. Yeah, until. Until I figure out how to print. Well, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, a lot of clerical work for that clerical.

[Titus]

TJ gonna spin the wheel.

[Max]

What dish are you most worried about? White Sox. Dave challenging you to tomorrow?

[Frankie]

I don't know. I mean he's initially. He initially told me he was gonna make beer a tacos and those take. It takes like eight hours. I said, can we do something?

[Titus]

Can we do something a little long ass?

[Frankie]

Do something a little quicker.

[Titus]

If you drop a nine hour video.

[Max]

He is a big crockpot user, so you should be worried.

[Frankie]

Oh, yeah. It could go either way with Dave. It's been a fun series so far. I mean, I'm not gonna give away how it went, because it's obviously not out yet. But wait, I did Max, Megan, Jerry, and then Dave will round us out for this portion of it, and then anyone else is open to throw their hat in the ring if they have something they want to make.

[Brandon]

Titus.

[TJ]

Sure.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Titus, I know you don't fucking mean that. And I know you can't cook.

[Donnie]

I. I, again, as a reminder, I won your competition.

[Frankie]

You. You beat.

[Donnie]

I was champion of the entire office.

[Titus]

Who'd you beat?

[Frankie]

You beat, like, a muscle taco at first.

[Titus]

Won the competition.

[Frankie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

So that.

[Frankie]

There you go. That's the level of the com. A muscle taco won in that bracket. I don't know what years. You know what? Congratulations. You won.

[Titus]

If you could go back in time, would you have not deemed him the champion?

[Brandon]

Do you.

[Titus]

Can you set your bias aside if the dish is delicious?

[Frankie]

No, I. I'm a food forward. I'm a food first guy.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Frankie]

I'm very. You know, it's not about what's who.

[Donnie]

That's just speak to how good of a cook I am. Is that you?

[Frankie]

Well, you didn't make. I think Brandon made that. I. I'm gonna see what the final dish. Because there's no fucking chance it was anything good.

[Donnie]

Good.

[Frankie]

I think it was more of like, who's the worst? Yeah. It's the opposite of the first analogy I made.

[Max]

Who's the best? Worst.

[Titus]

So the shortest dwarf. Yes.

[Frankie]

That's like. Yeah, well, you get the point.

[TJ]

Yeah, we do.

[Frankie]

Okay. You beat Hank and Max.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Whoopy do.

[Titus]

What was the dish.

[Donnie]

Ad.

[Frankie]

Hold on. I don't have YouTube Premium.

[Donnie]

I won, and then you never invited me back after that. Well, you said I was bad for the league.

[Frankie]

We'll do tournament champions, man. You can come back. Yeah, yeah. It's because Hank and Max put a raw egg on their plate.

[Donnie]

That is true. They did.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Frankie]

They made a raw egg stir fry. You guys made spaghetti.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Pretty sure it was from a can, so.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Yeah. Again, you won because somebody else put raw food on the plate, but you won. It's like playing against a kid with a broken leg. You won the race, but the other guy was.

[Donnie]

I've never done.

[Frankie]

I'm doing this.

[Donnie]

Give me. Yeah, there's another analogy.

[Frankie]

It's like doing a long jump with a. With a short pull.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Max]

All right.

[Titus]

That is the yak.

[Jack]

I'm out there the rest of the week. Gotta go east for a wedding. Shout out to all you guys. Shout out Donnie Guest of the year. Back to back is pretty much locked up, I'd say. All right, see you guys Monday. Love you guys. Bye.