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Brandon Walker
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Brandon Walker
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Danny
Wow.
Dana
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Danny
That's right.
Dana
Yeah. And you'll help find dogs a forever home.
Danny
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Dana
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Mike
Hello.
Danny
Hello to everyone.
Kyle
Hello to you all.
Danny
Hey, Nick, pass the tardy sauce.
Kyle
Hey, Nick. Daylight savings get you.
Mike
You're having a baby. You are late.
Brandon Walker
All right, all right.
Dana
Oh, man.
Brandon Walker
First time for everything.
Kyle
Oh, man.
Danny
Hey.
Brandon Walker
Attacking me.
Danny
Hey. Hey, Danny, was it. Is it Brown Friday again?
TJ
You know what's funny, Brandon?
Danny
What?
TJ
You said these weren't brown on Brown Day.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah.
Danny
Was that your outfit from Brown Day?
TJ
The pants were okay.
Danny
Sorry.
TJ
Apology whenever you're ready.
Danny
I'm not going to apologize. I will never apologize. I will die.
TJ
In the spirit of there being a first for everything, just apologies.
Danny
I will die not having apologized to you. We'll have to have another Brandon Walker funeral. Like the one that was a year ago you died.
Brandon Walker
It was one year ago, wasn't it?
Danny
It was, yeah.
Brandon Walker
I wasn't here for it. Too sad.
Danny
That's right, you were in the Bahamas.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, for the most part, yeah.
Mike
That's where you go in your morning.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Right. You have to go to the. What you guys talk about on Mostly. I guess we'll rehash.
Danny
Well, we really started with something sad on Titus's behalf, but I. Yeah, go ahead.
Kyle
I love a Dino hockey more than anything, but Friday night was a tough look for our boys. Yeah, Friday night was a really tough look. Getting worked by Morehead and then starting to fight after the game. It was just.
Brandon Walker
They started the fight. Yeah. Where's the rest of the team?
Kyle
Sore losers. From a Dinah. I just. It's just not. It's not what a dine is about. Like, just seeing.
Brandon Walker
Wait, you're not disavowing, are you?
Kyle
I think I have to because when I think. When I think hockey players from a Dinah, I don't think of people that lose their cool.
Brandon Walker
No.
Kyle
You know that, like, stuff isn't going your way and you just snap and working class. Right.
Danny
Humble.
Kyle
Right.
Brandon Walker
Ready? Yes. Speaks one language.
Dana
Yes, One language.
Danny
Speak.
Dana
Dark features, big feet.
Kyle
Blutman's meme that he made cracked me up. Did you see that?
Danny
No, I didn't see it.
Kyle
Someone sent it to me. Tj. Did you see it? Tj?
Dana
I haven't seen it, but it's really, really good.
Danny
But a dark day for a din of hockey.
Kyle
It's really good.
Mike
Well, I was seeing, like, people posting on Tik Tok and stuff. Adina hit my feed. People really hate that town.
Brandon Walker
They hate them.
TJ
They.
Dana
They're like the neighborville of Minneapolis.
Danny
Okay, they are very worse.
Dana
Maybe.
Mike
I'd say the. What's that fancy town of North Mintonka up here? Winetka. They're like the Wetka kind of.
Dana
I think Minneapolitans hate them.
Mike
Okay, I got that vibe.
TJ
Bougie, the rich eater, bro.
Dana
I mean, I don't. I think.
TJ
Yeah, that's the stigma. Wineka in Neighborville.
Dana
Probably some weird cases back in the day. Sounds like that. Always have weird cases.
Danny
Is Naperville rich?
Mike
Yeah, I think so.
Brandon Walker
I thought it was Will met the Rich area.
TJ
Yeah, well, Matt is richer. Naperville kind of just.
Dana
It was palatable. It wasn't like, oh, my God, I
Brandon Walker
went to the dog beach and Will met. It was beautiful.
Kyle
Oh, Kyle, have you visited Adina? Virtually.
Dana
I actually haven't, really, which is unbecoming of me. Yeah, I like to check out suburbs.
Mike
Can we do a little walk down the street? The main street?
Brandon Walker
I wouldn't mind it.
Mike
Go to a Dinah.
Dana
And they lost to Morehead.
Kyle
Morehead.
Danny
Yeah. Spuds.
Dana
The antithesis of the Adina culture. Real men on the Red River. Right across from Fargo.
Danny
I've been there.
Brandon Walker
You've been to Fargo? You love it.
Danny
Been to Fargo and Morehead. Why? It was. I went for a American Legion baseball tournament.
Mike
Oh, very green.
Danny
Oh, look, these people are living in
Brandon Walker
a. Yeah, all right. Yeah, they're. They're rich.
Dana
No brown.
Brandon Walker
There's not any brown.
Danny
Green everywhere.
Mike
Not at all.
Dana
No rust.
Danny
Very well.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, really well planned.
Danny
Yeah, that's a very pleasing exit right there.
Dana
Dan's actually. The apple is dead.
Kyle
We got a lake by the high school. Two lakes by the high school.
Danny
Greenery everywhere. Yeah, you don't want high school's massive.
Brandon Walker
Drop us in. Let's find the bad part of town. Donnie was talking about the bridge. It's got to be the bridge.
Mike
Oh, these are my beans.
Brandon Walker
Those are humble homes.
Danny
This might be the bad part.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, this is. This is like dangerous.
Dana
Don't catch me on Valley View.
Mike
Oh, this is. This is fine.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, this is like a humble fancy.
Dana
It's nice.
Danny
Well, let's find the fancies then.
Dana
Yeah, this is.
Mike
Oh, oh, you can see the city from there.
Danny
Maybe do Zillow. Maybe do a Zillow.
Kyle
Do Zillow first.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah, we should Zillow.
Danny
And then we'll. Then we'll know and then drop in on those neighborhoods where we need to go.
Dana
That image was cr. Did you guys see the image of Minneapolis? No. The hockey action shot?
Danny
Oh, yeah.
Dana
It looked really advanced. You know, the future of photography. We're going to be able to see everything.
Danny
I'm going to buy my camera in the next couple of weeks.
Brandon Walker
You've been saying that for I think
Danny
three years, but now I mean it because the. The birds are back.
Brandon Walker
The birds are back.
Mike
You hear the seagulls this weekend?
Danny
The water.
Mike
All of a sudden the seagulls have returned.
Brandon Walker
I'm kind of let down by Adinah.
Danny
Well, hold on, let's. Let's get in there.
Kyle
You got to sort it.
Danny
Yeah, look, there's some 2.5 mils right there. There's some.
Brandon Walker
There's 14 million.
Danny
Is that just a. No, that's.
Kyle
That's just a lot.
Brandon Walker
But it says 7 beds.
Danny
5 million right there. 4 million.
TJ
What was the name of the French school?
Brandon Walker
Just land. Wow. Donnie's French school.
Danny
Yeah. I mean, these are. It's a lot of million dollar homes, TJ.
Kyle
Make a sort it by like 2 million or higher. Do the range just get to the. See if they.
Danny
You looking to buy Mark There's a
Kyle
cluster that pops up. Yeah.
Danny
Looking to buy in a dino.
Kyle
I might have to. Brandon, that's north side. Yeah. You the north side?
Danny
Up in here.
Kyle
Rolling Green.
Mike
Oh, Rolling Green.
Danny
Of course. I bet Donnie's from Rolling Green.
Kyle
Rolling Green.
Brandon Walker
Brandon, that's about 10 months of work for you.
Danny
You keep starting these rumors and I love him. Oh, my.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. I'm so sorry. I'm saying you're filthy rich.
Danny
Love him. Yeah.
Kyle
There we go.
Brandon Walker
You are over a million.
Kyle
That's. That's Bonnie's house. I think.
Danny
Not much.
Kyle
That's where he grew up.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Humble.
Danny
Yeah.
Dana
They're saying every day I need attention.
Brandon Walker
Is that what they say Adina stands for?
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Which we give it to him every day. He's not here. I already checked.
Danny
We decided today. There's too many people engaged at barstool.
Brandon Walker
It's. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny
I just a cursory count today. I got to 11. No problem.
Dana
11 actively engaged you two.
Danny
Tate got engaged this weekend. Biggest He, Cody.
Mike
Gino.
Danny
Gino, Sam from production.
Brandon Walker
Congrats to Sam.
TJ
Jerry Hankle, Nick Hamilton.
Danny
Oh, that's even two. I didn't have Max.
Kyle
So many.
Brandon Walker
Do you want me and Kyle to call it somebody's.
Danny
I don't say it has to be you and Kyle, but somebody needs to call off.
Brandon Walker
Statistically one of those. They're not making it to the wedding. Right. Right.
Danny
And that's what we were discussing today. Is it possible to call off your wedding and keep the. Keep the couple together?
Kyle
Kyle, was that what you were wearing when you proposed?
Brandon Walker
I think it's tough.
Dana
What do we got?
Danny
The longest polo shirt imaginable.
Dana
Simple.
Brandon Walker
Wait, you can't be making out of his proposal photo.
Dana
I'm not.
Brandon Walker
You guys didn't do.
Dana
I was about to break it down.
Mike
Is he not wearing socks?
Danny
Not wearing socks.
Dana
His feet reek.
Brandon Walker
His feet fucking reek.
Danny
Dressed like a high school umpire.
Mike
Did you see somebody broke down what chief wore during his proposal?
Brandon Walker
I saw somebody broke down the price point.
TJ
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
You can't post a picture.
Mike
$300.
Dana
I will never post.
Brandon Walker
You need to post the one of your girlfriend holding you. We were in Spun on the beach.
Dana
No, it was the Santa Monica foothills. And she was holding me. Overlooking la.
Danny
You can't post a picture of anything.
Brandon Walker
No.
Danny
Especially like a milestone. If you do a milestone.
Dana
Like I won't post. Yeah, anything.
Brandon Walker
You can't post anything. Any people zoom and find rolled up dollar bills.
Mike
Ah, yes.
Brandon Walker
You can't do that.
TJ
Did someone do like a green screen breakdown?
Brandon Walker
No. I don't think so. Probably. Yeah.
Dana
I think anyone who does that is. Wants it to be seen.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Mike
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
It's like their whole personality.
Kyle
I went home and was using my toilet less or on Friday after Donnie had mentioned bidets. So I posted something on Instagram and I tagged the wrong company. I meant to tag Tushy's like the brand of. Yeah, I have. Twitchy is also like a porn site.
Dana
It is really.
Brandon Walker
That's a better tag for a porn site, I think. Right.
Kyle
I tagged the wrong thing. And then also someone pointed out there may have been a pube on the.
Danny
There are multiple companies named Tushies.
Kyle
I guess. So. Yeah. I didn't do it on purpose. Which I don't know if that's better.
Dana
Someone found a little pew.
Kyle
I only knew the porn well that. Yeah.
Mike
Probably wasn't Throw the first pube who has not had a. Yeah.
Danny
I don't know why you're staring at me. My pubes are all.
Brandon Walker
Trust me, it's my guys. My wife's.
Kyle
Oh, that's. Oh, that's. That looks long.
Danny
That's.
Dana
I like how we always vilify pubes on toilet seats. Like we jumped to the idea that somebody nefariously plucked out their own pubes and.
Danny
Yeah.
Dana
Lined the toilet seat.
Brandon Walker
But like.
Dana
Like a pure spite and vandalism instead. That it might just naturally happen.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
But like when I take off my underwear, I don't have. Like, it's not filled with pubes. Why do they always fall onto the toilet?
Danny
But there might be a stray that you don't know about. Right.
Mike
That's when it's falling out. Right. When you're probably.
Brandon Walker
When you're just moving it.
Danny
It would make. Of all the places in the world, toilet seat makes the most sense for a pube.
Kyle
Right. That's where the p. If there's a pube in your house, it should be either fixed to your body or by your toilet.
Danny
If you challenge me to find a pube in my house, I'm going to the toilet seat.
Brandon Walker
Straight to the toilet seat. Then I'm going to go to your groin.
Danny
Yeah. Yeah. And you're going to find a lot.
Brandon Walker
A lot of long ones.
Danny
Yeah.
TJ
I imagine it's an ass hair, if anything.
Danny
Yeah. It could be the poo.
TJ
Kind of shakes things up.
Stephen
Yeah.
Kyle
Yeah.
TJ
It might lose a soldier along the way.
Dana
That's actually.
Kyle
Might have been my wife's ass hair. Good point, dude.
Brandon Walker
Dana, Beers.
Danny
We're talking pubes. Dana, you got anything on pubes?
Stephen
What about them?
TJ
Ass pubes specifically. We could start there
Stephen
sometimes. Yeah, sometimes I'll try. Use a razor. Oh, doesn't work.
Brandon Walker
Why doesn't it work?
Stephen
Because you're like reaching back and.
Dana
Yeah.
Stephen
It's like an awkward position. Sometimes you get too close to hole,
TJ
let a moan out.
Danny
You shave your ass? Pubes.
Stephen
So I tried. That doesn't. I'd say like once. Once every four pube shaves. I try the ass and it doesn't work ever.
Dana
Yeah.
Danny
And you don't learn.
Brandon Walker
No. I don't see the point in having to do it.
Mike
Yeah. Why. Why would you. Why would a guy need to have.
TJ
Why would a girl hair free ass.
Brandon Walker
You just keep it.
Stephen
Yeah.
Danny
I think Dana's getting it's.
Stephen
Why not have a, you know, as
Danny
hair free as possible.
Stephen
Pretty. Your ass than not a pretty ass?
Danny
Yeah, it's a good point.
Brandon Walker
You're like. You think your wife wants your ass hairless? She was like, I'd be more attracted to Dana if I had no hair on his. At. Really?
Stephen
By looking my. I mean, you want to be more
Brandon Walker
attracted to your own ass.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
As a gay.
Brandon Walker
No, I guess you want it to look more like a woman's ass.
Stephen
I'm not shaving the outside hairs.
Kyle
You shave everything, though, like your chest and your.
Stephen
No, no, no, no.
Kyle
Isn't that kind of like. I mean, what's the point if you're. If they're. If your whole body is.
Stephen
I don't. I. I.
Kyle
You got hair.
Stephen
Put me in a corner here. I only I don't do it that often.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, once every four.
Stephen
Yeah. That's like, what, once a quarter Quarterly.
Brandon Walker
Yes.
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Hey, happy puppy week to you.
Stephen
Oh, thank you. Also happy. Just got my blood work week. Everything's clean, boys.
Dana
Wait, everyone was.
Stephen
Everyone was worried about me with my liver. Everything clean.
Brandon Walker
Everything.
Stephen
And my diabe. Diabetes.
Brandon Walker
Nothing's high.
Dana
LDs.
Stephen
No. Everything's normal.
Dana
Cholesterol.
Stephen
Normal.
Dana
Oh, dang it.
Stephen
Isn't this. Isn't that awesome?
Dana
It's awesome.
Stephen
Now I'm ready to get up. What?
Kyle
Yeah.
Dana
But guys, like. Yeah, like, I had high cholesterol.
Stephen
Really?
Dana
Yeah. I think it's more genetic.
Stephen
That is kind of.
Kyle
You have higher cholesterol.
Brandon Walker
That's.
Danny
Yeah. Cholesterol doesn't make sense.
Stephen
No.
Kyle
Huh.
Brandon Walker
You don't eat well, do you?
Stephen
Heavens no.
Danny
Right?
Brandon Walker
I never had a Big Mac, though.
Stephen
Big arch.
Brandon Walker
Oh, you tried the Big Arch?
Stephen
Yeah. Pretty good.
Brandon Walker
It's huge.
Stephen
Really good, actually.
Brandon Walker
Is it better than Big Mac?
Stephen
No, I like Big Mac sauce way more.
Kyle
Did my eyes deceive me? Or did you start drinking beers too, on social media this week?
Stephen
I'm trying to bring back beers.
Danny
Wow.
Brandon Walker
But you've changed the hashtag like three times. I thought it was bring beers back.
Stephen
It couldn't be either.
Danny
When did beers go away?
Stephen
Have you seen the stats, Brandon?
Danny
No.
Stephen
People aren't drinking. People aren't drinking anymore.
Danny
Oh, I'm just talking about you.
Stephen
No, no, I'm trying to get. I'm trying to get the generation that's not drinking to drink.
Danny
But your beer drinking never went away.
Stephen
No, no.
Danny
Okay.
Stephen
I want the industry to come back.
Danny
Okay. I misread it. When I see bring beers back. I always thought you were talking about yourself.
Brandon Walker
Same.
Danny
Referring yourself as beer.
Brandon Walker
No, no, no, no. I'm out of retirement.
Stephen
I've already had my backs. My backstage. I've been back. But we're trying to bring back.
Danny
You're permanently back.
Stephen
Yeah, but we're trying to bring back the industry.
Danny
Okay. Me and K. How's it going so far?
Stephen
Pretty. I had a lot of pictures this weekend. I'm sure. I got a lot. I got like 500 follower unfollows.
Brandon Walker
Did okay.
Danny
Did poor Ethan just become one of the boys that goes out and drinks every. Every night here?
Stephen
That didn't look. It looked like he was having too much fun.
Brandon Walker
No, it didn't. It seemed like they were really.
TJ
He brought beers back too hard.
Danny
He had a full boot.
Brandon Walker
Did he drink a full boot? I didn't know he did picture. I didn't know he was. Went out and had fun.
Dana
I've been out with him. Yeah, he. He goes hard.
Stephen
Really?
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Mike
Wow.
Kyle
He's.
Brandon Walker
Did you go out with him this weekend?
Dana
No, I. I had to move.
TJ
He's having a blast.
Danny
Yeah, he looks jovial.
Dana
Right?
Danny
So are.
TJ
Are people not drinking period, or they are just Gen Z?
Dana
Doesn't people who drink drink? There's now there's like a fringe middle group who, like when if they were millennials, they would be out drinking, but now instead they're staying at home and scrolling.
Danny
Okay.
TJ
I didn't know if it was like the seltzers kind of completely took over the beers.
Danny
Are sober bars a thing now? Sober bars becoming a bigger thing?
Mike
There's one in my neighborhood. There's a sober. There's a booze free wine store that only sells alcohol. Free wines and like a bar with no alcohol.
Danny
Alcohol free wines.
Mike
Yeah.
Stephen
Listen, if that's your prerogative, that's fine. I'm not trying to tell you not to be a sober person.
Brandon Walker
Yes, you are.
Kyle
Literally trying to bring beers back to the movement.
Danny
That's the whole.
Stephen
No, no, I'm talking to. I'm talking to the. The. The dudes these days who aren't boozing.
Danny
The young, impressionable ones.
Kyle
That's the sober people.
Stephen
No, but there's difference between sober and then pussies.
Danny
You're talking to the pussy.
Stephen
I'm talking to the pussies.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
What's the difference between a sober and a pussy?
Stephen
To me, a sober person went sober for a reason.
Danny
A sober person is a reformed alcohol drinker.
Dana
Yes.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Kyle
Climb to the top of the mountain. In your eyes, what's a sober person?
Stephen
A is just like, I don't want to go out. I'm a yeah. I'm talking to those guys.
Brandon Walker
I think I'm a. Yeah, yeah, that's all right.
Stephen
But you, you'll have stuff every now and then.
Brandon Walker
You're making it seem like, yeah, guys, I'll drink.
Dana
I agree with you. I think. I think it's ultimately healthy for 23 to 28 year olds to go out and drink socially.
Stephen
Yes.
Dana
As far as relationship building and bonding goes.
Stephen
Yes.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
So what are you doing to bring beers back?
Stephen
We're just talking about it.
Danny
You're just using the hashtag awareness.
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I think you need to travel.
Stephen
We're gonna.
Danny
This is.
Stephen
We're in the puppy stage right now.
Kyle
Take the beers to the people.
Stephen
We're in the honeymoon stage. It hasn't even really started because that cadex been gone all weekend.
Danny
Wait, you're still in the honeymoon phase of your marriage too, right?
Stephen
Yeah.
Danny
Is bringing beers back gonna interfere with that?
Stephen
I mean, I've already got. I've already gained 30 pounds since I moved here.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
Yeah, but my blood works good now.
Danny
Dana, what about somebody who's old like me and out of the game? Am I sober or am I a pussy?
Stephen
You're not a pussy. You're just out of the game.
Danny
I'm graduated. Yeah. Okay, but you.
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
When should you get out of the game? Early mid-30s, 35.
Stephen
Stop. I know what you're doing. Stop. People might. No, I'm not worried about people our age. Those are the people that are. Are still buying the 30 racks.
Dana
You gotta go.
Brandon Walker
I haven't seen anybody walking with a 30 rack in years.
Danny
I know.
Dana
We'll bring it.
Stephen
We gotta bring it back.
Kyle
What's the perfect number of beers in a night?
Stephen
What? What's the scenario?
Brandon Walker
You go out drinking after dinner. It starts at dinner, you're out drinking beers.
Stephen
13.
Brandon Walker
In how many hours?
Danny
How'd you arrive at that?
Dana
Cannot be.
Mike
Thirteen.
TJ
If you say start at like five.
Stephen
Yeah.
Danny
I'm going hard from five to eleven.
Stephen
Thirteen.
Danny
I'm going hard from 5 to 1.
Stephen
Am 15. 18.
Danny
Wow.
Mike
Okay.
Brandon Walker
And what about like, St. Patrick's Day?
Stephen
Forty.
Dana
Does 40 make you feel better than like, 12?
Stephen
No.
Brandon Walker
At what point are you like, I don't feel good.
Stephen
Thirteen. Okay.
Danny
Do you already have your St. Patrick's Day plan set?
Stephen
No, I don't. I. I'm a free agent right now. I'm ready to be. I'm ready to be swayed.
Danny
Yeah, we're not gonna sway you.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, I'm not doing anything.
Danny
I'm doing that.
Brandon Walker
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Danny
No, he's not here. He's out.
Brandon Walker
The heck?
Danny
Stephen told me we can't talk about where he is even though he talked about where he is on the act. Stephen,
Unknown Male Speaker 1
he asked for it to not so.
Danny
Okay. I mean, he's back tomorrow. Okay. He's back tomorrow.
Brandon Walker
Okay. Dana, you're getting a puppy this week.
Stephen
I am.
Brandon Walker
It's. It's every plan you have done. Your life's over.
Stephen
So bring beers back.
Brandon Walker
Done.
Stephen
Bring back beers is done.
Brandon Walker
It's over.
Stephen
Okay.
Danny
You're actually saying both hashtags.
Stephen
I don't know which one.
Dana
It's unbelievable what it's doing to these boys. Rudy's going to sleep away camps sans his dog.
Brandon Walker
Rudy went to a dog training without, but he didn't have to bring his dog.
Dana
These guys are no.
Stephen
I know.
Mike
Wait a sleep away camp to learn how to.
Dana
Rudy's going to male dog owner camp without the dog. Just to. Just to learn how to. Without. Yeah. No dog, no hands on experience.
Brandon Walker
Cody's paying a Northwestern pro dog trainer 100 an hour. He did. He did seven hours of training. Cody's not gonna be able to get married.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
It's done.
TJ
Damn.
Stephen
Yeah.
Kyle
Have you met the dog you're getting?
Stephen
Not yet.
Danny
Do you know exactly what you're getting?
Stephen
Yeah.
Danny
Mini dachshund oh, wow. Mini dachshund.
Stephen
Yeah. Tiny little.
Danny
That's awesome.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. You know how dogs look like their owners?
Stephen
Mikey Betts sent me. He sent me a picture on fucking Saturday after or Friday after we're drinking all day.
Danny
And he.
Stephen
He just sent me a picture of his mini dachshund and said they're so easy to accidentally sit on.
Brandon Walker
Oh, Yeah.
TJ
I think so.
Dana
I guess that's a perk, me playing
TJ
Final Destination every day.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
Why a mini dachshund?
Stephen
I just love those.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, they're adorable.
Stephen
They're so cute, and they're very lovable and very annoying, but very, very loyal.
Danny
Well, you got to bring it in so we can judge his penis.
TJ
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
We have to look.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
Okay.
Danny
Yeah, we'll have to look at his penis.
Mike
Yep.
Stephen
Ralphie.
Brandon Walker
It's a good name.
Danny
That's a thing.
Stephen
It makes me think of Ralphie Sephiroto, which is kind of like. He's kind of a scumbag.
Danny
Yeah, I can see that.
Brandon Walker
I think of Christmas Story.
Dana
Yeah.
Mike
Yeah.
Dana
Little Ralphie.
Danny
I think of Colorado's mascot. Mmm.
Dana
Named Ralphie.
Danny
Yeah. The buffalo.
Stephen
Buffalo, yeah.
Danny
That runs out. But he's a lot bigger than the mini dachshund.
Kyle
They still do that?
Danny
Yeah, they do it. But we did find out this year that Ralphie was. They.
Kyle
Was there an incident.
Danny
Something happened with Ralphie this year? Hey, we found out Ralphie was a girl. Whoa. B. They stopped running Ralphie because she was tired. No, she wasn't there.
Kyle
Yeah, something happened.
Danny
They took Ralphie off the field this year, and I don't remember where do
Brandon Walker
they keep Ralphie, because, like, lsu, they keep that tiger just kind of in that.
Danny
Yeah.
TJ
We'd have, like, six handlers to Ralphie.
Danny
I would hope. I would hope that it has a farm where it just gets to roam free.
Brandon Walker
Oh, I doubt that.
Danny
Okay.
Brandon Walker
Probably lives under the stadium, so that's what I hope.
Danny
I hope Ralph, he doesn't live under the stadium. Call Dion and ask him. Going to? No.
Stephen
All right.
Brandon Walker
He's probably busy.
Stephen
I asked him once.
Danny
Indifference. To run.
Brandon Walker
That's pretty funny.
Danny
Yeah. I guess I'm retiring as well.
Mike
Wow.
Kyle
Choose not to run.
Stephen
I did ask if I could run. If I could be on Ralphie when he runs out of the stage.
Brandon Walker
You want to be riding Ralph?
Danny
They never put anybody on Ralphie.
Stephen
Don't they have, like, a cowboy?
Danny
No.
Stephen
Wasn't there just someone in the picture
Danny
they run beside him or her?
Stephen
They're on it.
Danny
I don't. I don't know that Anybody's ever been on.
Brandon Walker
Ralphie, can you ride a buffalo?
TJ
Pretty dangerous.
Danny
Yeah, I suppose you could, but I had a buffalo. I've never seen anybody riding a buffalo.
Stephen
Look at that.
Brandon Walker
What do you want me to look at?
Danny
His back? All right.
Dana
I don't recall people riding buffaloes. Do people ride buffalo?
Stephen
Yeah, but it's not out of the
Danny
question, you know, I suppose riding anything, but they're not very well shaped for riding. They're. They're very.
Brandon Walker
People ride camels.
Danny
Yeah, but they're perfectly safe for riding. They are between the humps.
Kyle
Yeah.
Stephen
Just throw away one of those things on them.
Danny
A saddle? Yeah. You couldn't take a saddle.
Stephen
I thought it was reins. Put the reins on that guy.
Brandon Walker
It'll be both. Oh, my God. People are riding buffalo.
Danny
Riding this. She's riding the out. Oh, that's a he.
Brandon Walker
That's Danny Trejo.
Danny
There's Danny. He's riding the. Out of that buffalo.
Brandon Walker
See what it's like. I didn't know there was the biggest
Stephen
of apologies, but you guys feel dumb. I do.
Kyle
Exactly what we're looking for.
Danny
I'm so blessed in life is really good. So wait, that's not. That was a movie.
Brandon Walker
Full interview about riding a. They're basically not animals. You can. Wait. They're basically not animals. You can train.
Dana
It's kind of like riding a Cadillac. No, it wasn't like riding a cattle.
Brandon Walker
I don't get any of that quote.
Danny
No,
TJ
the trainer's one piece of advice. Don't piss him off.
Danny
As a Mercedes owner, I just disagree with that. This is the Mercedes that I have the car.
Brandon Walker
You do very well, Brandon.
Danny
Yeah, no, I know. I know.
Dana
1.8 million a year, 2.1 with bonus. 2.1.
Brandon Walker
Lumping in the bonus.
Danny
I don't. Okay.
Dana
Is there a five kid factor?
Brandon Walker
Oh, you have the fifth and they add on another 300k.
Danny
It's four. But my wife did mention adopting this weekend. So. What? I need to battle that.
Dana
Yeah, adopting it.
Brandon Walker
That'd be beautiful.
Dana
A child or a man?
Danny
A child. Is that okay, Dana?
Stephen
No, it is, but.
Dana
Yeah.
Stephen
Getting kind of old. Man.
Danny
She floats it a lot.
Stephen
You're getting kind of old.
Danny
I know. I heard you the first time. But that I could still.
Brandon Walker
How old are you?
Danny
I'm 46. Yeah.
TJ
What would you be shopping for, like a baby toddler?
Danny
I don't.
Brandon Walker
Did Al Pacino's girlfriend have her baby yet?
Danny
Oh, yeah. That was a while ago.
Brandon Walker
Was that a while ago Pacino or De Niro?
Danny
It was Pacino.
Brandon Walker
I Don't know.
Dana
They're both kind of sad kids in their mid-80s.
Danny
Yeah.
Mike
Billy Joel.
Danny
I think Billy Joel, too.
Brandon Walker
I think that's pretty selfish.
Mike
Yeah. He's got.
Danny
Yeah. But if you're.
Brandon Walker
I, I. Yeah. If you're like, would you. Jack Nicholson's son. I never met him, but it's.
Dana
I'd rather my dad be dead, Robert De Niro, than.
Danny
Yeah.
Dana
Jared.
Danny
Yeah.
Mike
I had a friend in high school.
Brandon Walker
Did you almost just say your own dad's name?
Dana
My dad, Jared.
Danny
You had a friend in high school?
Mike
That was it.
Danny
Oh, congratulations.
Mike
She, her best friend, had like an 80 year old dad. And we would go and party at their house because he was. Yeah. His bed bound just like, was not. I went like one time, swung by, but that was like the party house.
Kyle
I think Theo Vaughn's dad was real.
Stephen
Yeah.
Dana
I never talked about no. To believe him or not.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
He said his dad was like 90
Dana
when he was born in the 1800s.
Danny
Yeah.
Dana
That's just something he would say as a joke, but I think it's true.
Kyle
Yeah. Yeah.
TJ
He said his dad was like in his 70s when he was born.
Danny
Damn.
Brandon Walker
You wouldn't let somebody that old carrot hold a baby, right? You can't, shouldn't, like, can't put them
Mike
on your shoulders, that's for sure.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
Good.
Brandon Walker
How are they?
Stephen
How do you come when you stop coming?
Danny
That's what I was gonna say.
Brandon Walker
No.
Danny
Seven years old. You're still kicking, huh? When do people. When.
Stephen
When do men lose their boners?
Brandon Walker
Well, now there's pills.
Danny
I think they lose their boners when their wives get old.
Brandon Walker
Oh, it's the wife.
Danny
And De Niro and Pacino get young
Brandon Walker
wives and so they can.
Danny
And they can't get boners. It's the woman's fault, Dana. Right, Kate. You're right.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
You know.
Dana
Yeah.
Stephen
So. But what if.
Danny
How long you think you'll have a boner, Dana?
Stephen
That's what I wonder. Yeah, I got no problem, you know,
Brandon Walker
after a 40 beer day. You can do it.
Stephen
No.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Mike
I was.
Stephen
I can't do it.
Mike
So at a VA hospital when I was in high school and it was like the retirement home wing or the nursing home thing and they were.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
Horny.
Danny
Oh, they get after it at nursing home.
Kyle
Horny.
Mike
And they weren't like taking pills or anything like that.
Stephen
Old women are horny, too.
Mike
That there was an old lady there who.
Stephen
Old ladies are horny. They'll say like crazy to people.
Kyle
You have experience with it.
Stephen
Oh, my grandma. Not my grandma.
Dana
God, not be dying, but, like,
Stephen
you know, grandmas. They'll be. They'll, like, see like it.
Kyle
But you said that.
Stephen
Oh, he's so. You're such a handsome boy.
Dana
I didn't know. I didn't know, like, that was, like, stemmed from, like, sexual arousal.
Kyle
I think they want to you.
Stephen
Not me, but, like, it'll be my buddy, and they'll be like, this is. My grandmas are dead. But, like, I don't know. I feel like grandma's are horny.
Kyle
Dude, you just said that.
Brandon Walker
It's because they say, like, you're handsome. Yeah, I never took that as, like, oh, she wants to.
Stephen
I've had a lot of grandmas that call me handsome. I don't know.
Kyle
And you think they want to suck your.
Dana
Seemed like. Is that what you.
Kyle
Is that where you took it?
Dana
A mere pleasantry.
TJ
Next time that happens, they're pitching your cheek. Dude, I just keep saying. Are we gonna be playing eye tag?
Stephen
Keep an eye on it next time.
Danny
An eye on grandmas. Yeah. All right.
Stephen
They're horny.
Danny
I. I do think there's an STD epidemic in nursing homes.
Brandon Walker
The villages in Florida, like, the highest rate, they.
Danny
They get effort.
Brandon Walker
We met a guy that. We met a. A Juggalo, but not a Juggalo. A jigs.
Dana
We did in Ocala, Florida.
Mike
Oh, for the old ladies there.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
He was, like, 86 names Dennis and
Dana
still did the round.
Brandon Walker
And, like, he doesn't have a home. He just, like, will live with a woman in her nursing home.
Mike
Another documentary, but there's this great one. It follows, like, five different people's lives in the villages, and the one is this dude who doesn't live there, and. But he just finds different women to bang there. So he can.
Brandon Walker
This might be the guy we met.
Mike
Oh, so he can have a house every night.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, Dennis.
Mike
Maybe his name was Dennis, but, like, that was his thing. He was, like, a leech.
Brandon Walker
We went to, like, multiple RV parks in Ocala, and he was, like, at all of them. We kept on just bumping into him.
Mike
So that's him. He, like, lived out of a van. Normally.
Danny
Is Dennis just living a hell of a life.
Mike
I say so.
Danny
Just getting old every night and shacking up.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, he made his intentions clear with the ladies, too.
Danny
Oh, he's clear up front.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
I need a bed tonight.
Kyle
Feel stressful after a while. Yeah. To chase it every day.
Stephen
Brendan.
Danny
Hi, Dana.
Stephen
Are you big Jane Fonda guy?
Danny
Can't say that.
Stephen
Back in the day.
Danny
No, can't say that. I was.
Stephen
I've Been seeing some old pictures of her boy.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
Jugs.
Danny
Yeah. She was pretty good looking, huh?
Stephen
Yeah. That's a grandma. I would.
Danny
Jane Fonda.
Mike
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Who is still. Who's the lady from the famous photo where she's leaning over?
Stephen
That's Fonda.
Brandon Walker
Is that Jane Fonda?
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Dude, really?
Mike
I think you're thinking of Jane Mansfield.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Yes, he is. I think that's who it is.
Danny
She got decapitated.
Stephen
No.
Brandon Walker
Yes, she did. What is her daughter from the photo
Mike
where the brown haired famous lady's looking is looking right at her tits that she got decapitated.
Danny
Jane Mansfield got decapitated.
Brandon Walker
And is Jane Mansfield daughter an actress now?
Danny
Don't know. She was driving down the road. Yeah. Went under a semi. Cap. Cap dictated from her head.
Mike
Jeez, I didn't know.
Danny
Is that right?
Kyle
That's right.
Brandon Walker
Are you thinking about Fabio getting hit by the bird on the roller coaster?
TJ
Thinking of ad truck?
Danny
No, I'm thinking. I'm thinking of Jane Mansfield. Went right under a semi. Just. Just bang. Fabio, Fabio, roller coaster pigeon.
Kyle
Yeah.
Dana
Ed.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Broke his nose.
Kyle
Yeah.
Mike
Oh my God.
Danny
I didn't know it was in Mississippi after the Gus Stevens supper club.
Mike
That sounds fantastic.
Stephen
Two of the dogs died too.
Dana
Oh, her kid instantly.
Danny
Oh, yeah. It's nasty. That was not good.
Mike
Oh my God.
Danny
Oh, well. Damn.
Stephen
Oh, okay.
Danny
Thought she got decapitated.
Brandon Walker
Severe head trauma. So that's basically
Danny
crushed skull with evulsion of cranium and brain. That stinks.
Brandon Walker
This isn't a good article.
Danny
No, I didn't like this at all. A lot of famous people died in Mississippi though.
TJ
Brandon, growing up.
Danny
Did.
TJ
Did you and the guys even care about ass? Was ass even a thing?
Danny
Ass was always a thing to the. To the.
TJ
I feel like. I feel like the ass movement didn't happen till.
Danny
Well, I am a. I am a breast person.
TJ
I feel like everyone was a breast.
Danny
I prefer the breast.
Brandon Walker
That's. That's one of my favorite pictures. He's still kicking, right?
Danny
I think so. I don't know if he's still handsome. I bet he's still think he's gray.
Brandon Walker
That'd be cool.
Danny
Or you think he bleaches? He seems like he might be a guy that bleaches. Tries to stay blonde forever.
Brandon Walker
I don't know.
Mike
He's.
Brandon Walker
What a life he had. I'm sure just being good looking on romance novels. Being named Fabio.
Danny
Professionally goodlooking.
Dana
He's great.
Brandon Walker
And dude, where's my car?
Kyle
Now that you mention it, he was an actor, a singer, model. What did he Do.
Danny
He was a model.
Brandon Walker
Model.
Danny
He was. Yeah, he was.
Kyle
I don't know him for anything other
Danny
than just being f him on the right. If that's him on the right, he's doing incredible.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, he's doing well.
Danny
God damn. Yeah, he was the. He was always the guy holding the woman in the. On front of the trash.
Kyle
Okay.
Danny
And then he became famous off of that. But you're right, he was just famous for being good looking. Oh, speaking of famous for their looks, did you all see the bodybuilder from this weekend?
Brandon Walker
Oh, my God.
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I didn't know if people could be built like that.
Danny
I don't know how he functions in modern society. I don't know. You didn't see him? No.
Kyle
Is that the Arnold?
Brandon Walker
I've never seen anybody wider.
Danny
I've seen bodybuilders. I've never seen anybody this. Nick, look at this.
Mike
Are those real abs or like implants?
Stephen
Like he could ride a buffalo.
Danny
What?
Brandon Walker
Definitely.
Mike
It seems painful to be in that body.
Brandon Walker
There's no way he could ever be comfortable.
Danny
Kyle, what's the muscle under the armpits there?
Mike
Did he win? Holy shit.
Dana
The lat.
Danny
What's that? Is that a lady?
Dana
Is that. Is that a real thing? Is that a real video or is it.
Danny
That's. That was real.
Brandon Walker
This is from Arnold this weekend.
Dana
That's a real guy. Is he.
Danny
Our TV's out.
Dana
Did he not win?
Danny
I don't know. I assume he did win. He's the only one we saw. And then people were making fun of how he looks on Twitter because I've
Dana
never seen anything like that.
Danny
He didn't wipe his ass.
Brandon Walker
People also zoomed his.
Danny
Oh, I never seen him from the back.
Brandon Walker
People zoomed his packer.
Danny
Yes. It's not a great pecker.
Stephen
Well, you gotta give up something, you know. Yeah. If you're gonna have everything else, you'd
Brandon Walker
want to look like that.
Stephen
No.
Danny
Okay.
Stephen
I would hate. I would hate that.
Danny
But you still gave up the pecker, didn't you?
Stephen
I didn't mean to give up the pecker.
Mike
Like a guy like that can't do a cartwheel.
Brandon Walker
No, but like, I want to see him in normal clothes.
Mike
Kind of like a bug that gets stuck on its back.
Brandon Walker
That's a dude that plans out every single meal constantly. He's always stuffed, never has a good meal.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Is just. His life revolves around that.
Dana
Right. At least he's a professional.
TJ
Yeah.
Dana
There's dudes doing that for no money.
Brandon Walker
Is the money good?
Dana
I'm sure he.
Brandon Walker
He has no oh, 1.8 million followers. Mutant the endorsements. These guys are rolling.
Dana
Yeah, I'm sure the money's great.
Kyle
Good Lord.
Mike
Crap. Can I see him just wearing, like, khakis and a polo? You're looking like.
Danny
And what.
Brandon Walker
Why do people start darkening themselves for these? When did that start? Better for
Dana
the visual.
Stephen
What about just like that one? Yeah.
Mike
Okay, which one is he? See, he doesn't look crazy there.
Brandon Walker
Well, he looks. His, like, leg veins.
Mike
Yeah, he does look pretty crazy, but,
Brandon Walker
like, I like the guy and I like his content, but Joey Swole in
Dana
a suit, he's funny. It's a funny image.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, yeah, he's just too jacked for a suit.
Kyle
Jack for a suit.
Stephen
Didn't Swole get canceled for a little bit? No.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. What did Swole get?
Stephen
I think Swole got a little bit canceled.
Danny
Really?
Stephen
Yeah, I think he's back.
Dana
He dressed up like Hulk Hogan after he died. Oh, is that what he got canceled for him? Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Do you just dress up like him or did he. Oh, yeah. Quote him. Yeah.
Danny
I've never seen Joey swollen a suit. I've never seen Joey Swole outside of the little box car.
Mike
Interest square.
Brandon Walker
That is interesting.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
As if you're a bodybuilder of that stature and build. How long can you operate in normal life without lifting and just look super jacked?
Danny
How long can you coast on it?
Brandon Walker
Yeah, man, the upkeep's really crazy.
Danny
I don't think very long, right?
Brandon Walker
Oh, he doesn't look bad in those photos.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Like a month. It's gotta be longer than that, right?
Danny
Kyle, you're the only one with any expert.
Dana
Like, someone with that build, you could. Yeah, you look jacked in three years without doing anything.
Danny
Really? Okay.
Brandon Walker
Those guys never do age well, though, right?
TJ
Are they all.
Brandon Walker
They're in pain and they just gain weight?
Danny
I mean, do they. Do they live long? Am I power lifted there? A high rate of death with them.
Dana
Disproportionate amount of young deaths.
Danny
I mean, Steve Mahalik died. Shot himself.
Dana
Yeah, it's.
Brandon Walker
I think they almost accept it.
Dana
Yeah.
Mike
Well, this guy we were looking at, there he is. That. That's steroids. Like, I feel like a lot of
Kyle
them are doing stuff that hurts you
Mike
in the long run. Do they get tested and stuff? Like, is this all natural?
Brandon Walker
I don't think so. I think there's specific.
Dana
Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, it's steroids.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. He's. He's probably taking what they give. Like cows.
Mike
Okay.
Brandon Walker
A lot of. Some of them are not open about their usage. A Lot of like, kind of inconspicuous about whether they're on steroids or not. Yeah, but look at him. Some of them are like, yeah, yeah, I use it. Look at his legs saying they're holy.
Danny
What?
Mike
Yeah, but then, like, what's the point if you're not like flipping cars off people or pushing boulders and like, what? Yeah, I feel like you're supposed to. This guy then needs to be going to do something that makes this worth it, but guess it's worth it to him.
Dana
Young men love this shit.
Mike
Do they really?
Dana
Yeah. And they consider themselves athletes.
Brandon Walker
That's why dudes aren't drinking.
Stephen
They're not drinking beers, man. They're fucking doing this shit.
Danny
Gotta start with this guy. Dana, bring back beers.
Brandon Walker
Get a beer with him.
Stephen
No, he won't.
Brandon Walker
That guy didn't win, by the way.
Dana
What? He didn't win?
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
Who. Who won? Who beat him?
Brandon Walker
I mean, they look exactly the same.
Kyle
Huh.
Brandon Walker
How do they determine aesthetics? Like symmetry.
Dana
Cuter.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I think it's the part of it is the performance of like your posing routine is scored.
Mike
Oh.
Danny
Oh. What you do.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
And your flair.
Mike
Look at his legs are like split in half like two big French breads.
Danny
Yeah, you're right. They're like two big French friends.
Kyle
You ever been to the Arnold Company?
Dana
No. Nick has.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
You've been to the army?
Brandon Walker
Yeah. When I lived in Columbus, I would go every year.
Danny
They have in Columbus every year?
Kyle
Yeah, every year.
Brandon Walker
There's a statue up front.
Kyle
It's a scene.
TJ
It's awesome.
Danny
Mike was there, right?
Kyle
Yeah, it is.
Danny
I've never thought to even go to one of those. I believe if I lived in Columbus, out curiosity would get the best.
Brandon Walker
It was right down the street.
Danny
I think I would go.
Kyle
I mean, not everybody obviously looks exactly like these guys, but it's just a
Brandon Walker
lot, a lot of.
Stephen
That guy only has a four pack.
Brandon Walker
I did not fit in.
Danny
Yeah.
Mike
Okay. That guy is enormous.
Dana
Yeah.
Mike
See why he won?
Dana
Yeah. It's. It is such a big industry.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah. It's like jam packed.
Danny
Imagine finishing.
Dana
So aim too.
Brandon Walker
And like, these dudes are like, so
Dana
they're like doing like comedy too. And I was like, so I'm tired of lat pull down humor. There's nothing more to do with it. Yeah.
Danny
Speaking of what stuff? Young men like you never gave us a report from Monster Jam.
Mike
Oh, I didn't?
Danny
No. You took the boys, right?
Mike
Yes, I did.
Danny
Was it awesome?
Mike
Oh, I. I feel like it's like a rite of passage. Like I. It's Supposed to suck, right? Like for the parents, like, yeah, it's not for you kids fell asleep in the car as we were parking. Tough. Soon as we get in, there's two parents hoisting a husky 12 year old over a trash can. He's like exploding vomit into it.
Danny
Okay.
Mike
The cars are revving so loud that my 2 year old had to go back out to the car before we even got in because he wouldn't put his headphones on. But then by the end he came around and the they were like kicking and screaming, not wanting to leave. So they did have an awesome time. But it's A lot of the whole audience is toddler boys, basically. And so it's like half the. Everybody has to pee every two seconds and then half that. It's like mom's holding sleeping kids, being like, can you go around the other way? Can you like whatever? Like. Yeah, yeah. No, it ruled. Yeah, it ruled.
Brandon Walker
I saw a truck do a front flip. I think it was a truck that looked like a shark that did a front flip Megalodon. And it got me amped the up.
Mike
There's Sparkle Smash. There's a badass ladies driving now. So the tricks were cool and they do.
Danny
That's why I got lame.
Mike
It's like, why? Oh, because there is cool stuff. But then like every other car flips and you have to wait for the tow truck to come out. And as a parent of like a three year old, you're like, hurry the fuck up, we need activity or they're gonna lose it. Like just a little. Maybe I'm not.
Brandon Walker
But your oldest was crying when it was over though.
Mike
They both were crying. That's. Yeah, they were both. They didn't want to leave. They had a great time.
Dana
Maybe they just like to cry.
Mike
They do like to cry too, but like. And the room's like full of exhaust. It's so you're like, is this safe? Like the room is full of exhaust and the dust is everywhere.
Dana
Did the trucks. This might be stupid. Do the trucks talk on a microphone?
Mike
No, but the. They do a good job of like the drivers all have like crazy personalities. Like there's the heel and there's like the good guy truck. And like Grave Digger is like the hero truck. But then there's like an evil school bus that's trying to take out. Like there's a storyline that goes throughout it. Almost like wwe.
Kyle
This isn't like a competition then.
Mike
This is more, oh, it's a competition. And then you hold it like the kids can vote on Your phone. We were just, like, in the hallways walking around by the end.
Dana
So I don't know.
Mike
They didn't want to leave. They're having a great time. But, like. Because you can go in the back hallway and watch the trucks get, like, taken out to the back, whatever. But. Yeah, that's my review of Monster Jam. It's one of the. I feel like, yeah, we'll go again next year. Even though it was painful. Does that make sense?
Danny
Well, the older they get, the better it'll be because they have, like, their
Mike
little Monster Jam shirts and their trucks and like, I don't know, it's like a rite of passage.
Danny
As a parent now you gotta take them to bull riding.
Brandon Walker
Your kids like that.
Danny
Yeah, I'm just trying to think of what little boys liked. Yeah, I don't have little boys anymore. I got men.
Brandon Walker
You do have men.
Danny
I got men.
Mike
Monster trucks, dirt. They all went tarps off at the playground yesterday.
Stephen
Really?
Mike
All the little boys? Yeah.
Dana
All of them?
Mike
Yeah. And it was, like, pretty cold still. Yeah, yeah. So be. Mike was there with his kids. We were like a row over from him. Security guard.
Danny
We have a security guard named Mike.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Danny
He's my favorite.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
What's the first tits you guys ever saw?
Danny
Well, in person or on movies? Movie probably. Airplane.
Stephen
Animal House for me.
Mike
Sixteen Candles.
TJ
Titanic.
Mike
Shower scene.
Danny
Oh, yeah. What?
Kyle
What?
Stephen
I haven't seen it in so long.
Danny
I don't know, but that's a seminal moment.
Brandon Walker
Semen.
Stephen
I don't know.
Brandon Walker
Draw me like one of your French girls.
Danny
Terrific titties in Titanic.
Brandon Walker
Kate Winslet.
Danny
Oh, Winslet's titties.
Stephen
Wasn't sure if it was someone the
Kyle
lead actress, which is impressive.
Mike
When you're laying on your side, it's tough for him. One of them's usually under your armpit.
Danny
Not hers.
Brandon Walker
I think mine was Vampires Kiss, a Nick Cage movie. But I also vividly remember Halle Berries and swordfish.
Danny
Yes, don't we all?
Unknown Male Speaker 1
What's the best movie?
Danny
Titties.
Brandon Walker
Oh, BMTs.
Stephen
We talk Italian.
Danny
BMT.
Brandon Walker
Italian beat is we. Monica Bellucci.
Danny
Right.
Brandon Walker
Italian BMDs.
Stephen
Wow. Good question.
TJ
Maybe not the best, but the fact that we got to see Margot Robbie right out the gate right off the first movie didn't even make us wait
Mike
for her to earn it for the ladies. There's some outline in Terminator 2. I watched that this weekend. The bad Terminator. When he first appears and he's, like, nude in a little ball. When he stands up, you can see the shadow of his penis.
Brandon Walker
Shadow of the disgusting.
Mike
Check that out.
Danny
That's great. That's.
Kyle
That's really, really gross.
Brandon Walker
Best movie titties.
Dana
The disc. Yeah.
TJ
You said he used to pause it all the time. And forgetting Sarah Marshall when Jason Siegel.
Mike
Oh, yeah. Big time.
Stephen
Was that real?
Brandon Walker
I think he said it was. Yeah.
Mike
Viggo Mortensen. The locker room fight at the back.
Danny
We're talking.
Brandon Walker
I was. I was.
Danny
Hey, I was.
Mike
Promises. Enormous.
Danny
We were talking movie titties. You're talking movie dicks.
Kyle
Dana.
Brandon Walker
You ever is. Out. Out. Like. I think there's more in movies than titties in movies.
Danny
That's.
Stephen
We need to bring so many these.
Kyle
HBO has gone full.
Brandon Walker
HBO is a channel.
TJ
They're a righteous gemstones.
Brandon Walker
They had a.
Danny
That whole.
Brandon Walker
But like, when's the last movie you saw with titties?
Stephen
The. The new house.
Danny
The house. What is it? What's it called?
Stephen
The.
TJ
The House of Dragon.
Brandon Walker
No. Night of the Seven Kingdoms.
TJ
Huge.
Brandon Walker
The biggest you could ever.
Stephen
I've ever seen.
Danny
But it wasn't that a titty show.
Kyle
It was a titty.
Brandon Walker
Season one was a titty show. Then it became a show.
Kyle
Yes. Game of Thrones started.
Danny
That's how they got you from Potato.
Kyle
Got you in by being a titty show. And then you started watching it.
Danny
I'm glad I never watched.
Stephen
It was a slow burn.
Brandon Walker
But it was so big, you forgot it was old. Like it's. Its identifier was big.
Stephen
I was watching on the plane and I had to put my phone down. Everyone was looking at me. Look at this Huge old man. Huge car, huge.
Danny
Cock on a plane's tough.
Stephen
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They shouldn't let you do that.
Danny
Look around on a plane. But cock, you just really have to cover it up.
Brandon Walker
I started watching your friends and neighbors on a plane.
Dana
The Apple.
Brandon Walker
Apple TV show. Every scene is a banging.
Stephen
Yeah. You got to put your brightness down.
Danny
It's a good show, though. Yeah, it is.
Stephen
It's my close personal friend.
Kyle
You ever spend any time on a Mr. Skin? Dana? What's up in the day? Does that still exist?
Brandon Walker
The move. It was where you find the guy
Kyle
who would just say, if you want to see titties in a movie, this is where. And then fast forward to this.
Stephen
Sounds like something I would like, but no.
Kyle
Yeah. That was like a thing in the 90s.
Stephen
I missed a lot of.
Kyle
Check out this movie. She gets topless.
Stephen
I missed a lot of cultural, like, big things growing up.
Brandon Walker
I think the beginning of American Pie 2 had a ton of titties. I Think it was a room full of titty?
Stephen
Yeah, I'm trying to think. Most recent.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah.
Kyle
That was good. That was real. That was really good.
Brandon Walker
If they do wedding crasher suit will all be right. Flopping on the bed. Soft. Can't do it for you, right?
Mike
No,
Kyle
no.
Mike
If the shadow's long enough.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Mike
Makes you think. You wonder. Well, then, what's the.
Brandon Walker
I guess so if you'd like to
Dana
see mine or have a rooting interest, I would Recommend Taking the 4 inch line of the Chicago L train right
Mike
by your bathroom window.
Dana
New apartment.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah.
Dana
Right on it. Your apartment wall, like, touches the stationless window. I am closer to the train station than I am to my sink. It's right there. Yeah. Every 15 minutes. Dana.
Stephen
During the night.
Dana
Yep. My circadian rhythm is synced to it already. The roaring sound of a train taking off. Every 15 minutes I wake up, it's loud as fuck. Every 15 minutes loud. That train last night I took 32 power naps. The guy, like, wake up.
Brandon Walker
A guy like you wasn't subconsciously attracted to being that close to the train station.
Dana
Visually, it's sick. Especially at night. Lights up, it goes, right? Yeah, but does it, like, rattle the walls? I am so close. Like, you're standing on the platform. You'll be able to see like, the crumbs in my urethra.
Brandon Walker
Wait, so like, when you toured the apartment, a train didn't go by?
Dana
Not once. And then we came back and we're like, oh, that's a train. It's kind of loud. I might. We'll get used to it.
Brandon Walker
How many nights have you been there?
Dana
2.
Brandon Walker
And have you been. How's your fiance handling it?
Dana
She was like, trying to smother herself with a pillow though.
Brandon Walker
Only one year left, right? She's on a one year leaf.
Dana
I think we'll get used to it.
Brandon Walker
How are the cats dealing with it?
Dana
The youngest is. We haven't seen her. She's been hiding. The oldest is in hell, just hissing. It's funny. A mad cat is funny because they're not gonna, like, do anything.
Brandon Walker
Have you.
Dana
Until they do.
Brandon Walker
Is your floor like the same height as the station?
Dana
It's right there. It's right there.
Kyle
At least it's convenient. You got the world at your finger.
Mike
Yeah.
Kyle
Up on the. Yeah.
TJ
You go anywhere?
Kyle
Go where?
Dana
Does it could jump?
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Could you actually leap to the side jumps?
Kyle
Yeah.
Dana
If I. If I leaped from my window station, it wouldn't even look cool.
Brandon Walker
I would just plop.
Dana
Yeah.
Mike
Are you gonna eventually get so Used to it. You're just keeping your windows open all the time. Like your shape. Like the we're do have your shirts.
Dana
We're getting curtains.
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
What are curtains going to do?
Mike
At least not let people see his E comms.
Stephen
Yeah.
Dana
Your e. Well, you know, not cr. Not like food crumbs.
Mike
Sure.
Dana
Tissue crumbs. When I try to get the jizz off. Crumbs is the wrong way.
Brandon Walker
Tissue wads.
Dana
Wads is implies.
Mike
Yeah know that's the people off who live like at the height of the high line in New York City. And have you guys done the six here in Chicago? The people who live along the 606 at that height, they want to be seen.
Brandon Walker
Oh yeah.
Mike
Like they live there on purpose. They want you to look in. And I feel like a lot of people who live on those subway platform level they want to be.
Dana
Want to be seen. Yeah.
Mike
So maybe. Yeah.
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Brandon Walker
advisor Opposite do you think there's people
Stephen
that have like telescopes that are just peering into people's apartments?
Brandon Walker
Rudy.
Dana
Rudy.
Danny
Wait. Rudy.
Dana
Oh yeah.
Mike
I see telescopes in people's windows sometimes. Oh yeah? Yeah.
Stephen
I don't like that.
Brandon Walker
Rudy was watching them film the bear, which is actually pretty cool.
Mike
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
With his telescope.
Dana
That is cool.
Danny
But some telescopes and apartments could be for like the sky.
Brandon Walker
Not necessarily. It's a little bright to have a telescope.
Danny
Okay, sorry, sorry. My bad. I've. I've never been able to get a telescope to do what a telescope should do.
Brandon Walker
Thank you. I can never see anything.
Danny
Whenever I bought a telescope, even a good one. I think I got one in the yak Christmas thing one year I take it home and I never can get it to do anything.
Brandon Walker
It seems like the technology Isn't great? Like, it's like, yeah, this is what you're seeing, but we have to flip it in the telescope. It's like an upside down image of what you're seeing.
Danny
But am I just stupid? I feel like there's people in the world that have the same telescope that can make it do what it's supposed to do and can look at, like, a planet or a star a long way. I've never seen a goddamn thing.
Brandon Walker
Same.
Danny
I just. I look into it 15 minutes. I get frustrated. I put it back in the box. I never touch it again.
Mike
We have one growing up, and my dad was actually pretty good at working.
Danny
Titus, go.
Kyle
You start with the moon. Have you tried the moon? It's pretty big.
Mike
I.
Kyle
Probably because you were like, I gotta see Jupiter.
Danny
No, I probably start with the moon.
Kyle
But what's.
Danny
I've just never been able to get any satisfactory glimpse at anything.
Kyle
What do you mean by that? Like, you can't see.
Brandon Walker
It's just black.
Unknown Male Speaker 2
Black.
Danny
Black or fuzz.
Kyle
Are you pointing it at the moon or you just pointing it?
TJ
Honey, look at this KFC sign.
Brandon Walker
The KFC light is probably too bright.
Kyle
Did you try pointing it at the moon?
Danny
Probably.
Dana
Okay.
Danny
I think I was doing it right.
Kyle
One more time.
TJ
Your eyes were opened.
Danny
My eyes were definitely open. Am I stupid? Dick's with me, right?
Brandon Walker
Yeah. I can't work a telescope.
Kyle
Last question. Was the COVID on the.
Danny
No. I would. I would know. I would. I would. I would know that.
Kyle
All right.
Danny
To my knowledge, it was off. It was probably off.
Kyle
Would that be something?
Danny
Your dad was a telescope guy.
Mike
You know why he got it? Do you remember the Hale Bop Comet or whatever that came by? Isn't that when those people drank the Kool Aid and thought it was behind it?
Danny
That was one of them.
Kyle
Yeah.
Mike
But anyway, it was, like, really cool to see it through the telescope. It was awesome.
Brandon Walker
Well, like, you had to track it. It was probably going fast.
Danny
No, that thing was in the sky for weeks.
Dana
Really?
Mike
Was there pretty still? You could.
Danny
Oh, that's like around 97 or something like that. Yes, it was. It was in the sky for a long time.
Mike
It was, like, really cool looking at it through the thing and then some of the planets and stuff. Like, he was really. It's like, telescopes are cool. It's neat. Well, I see in the crevices of the moon and stuff.
Dana
It's pretty shitty.
Brandon Walker
Oh, the moon's shitty.
Dana
Yeah.
Danny
You're not a moon guy.
Dana
Like, geographically, it's bland as.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
TJ
Oversaturated.
Kyle
It's kind of got a bunch.
Dana
There's no.
Brandon Walker
I'm.
Dana
Son of a Moon.
Brandon Walker
Don't get me wrong.
Dana
Gray. Yeah. Plains and craters and people are just like.
Brandon Walker
Oh, it's. You know. You have no idea how much we need the moon for the tides.
Dana
Well, that might be true.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. But how do you know?
Mike
What if there was no tides?
Brandon Walker
I don't know.
Stephen
So what, water would just be still?
TJ
Sounds pretty great.
Mike
There'd still be currents.
Dana
Yeah.
Mike
Right.
Dana
Not gonna.
Brandon Walker
I don't know. Like, would there be waves?
Stephen
Waves are pretty overrated.
Dana
I love waves.
Stephen
You're right. They're not pretty.
Brandon Walker
If I would never go to the beach if not for waves.
Stephen
I take it back.
Dana
Yeah.
Danny
Yeah. You. You folded pretty quick.
Stephen
No, it's. If I'm a big. Like, I don't. I'm not. I don't stick to my opinions guy.
TJ
Okay.
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I respect that. I'd say waves are underrated.
Stephen
Yeah, exactly.
Danny
Wave. Will you up a wave of. Where are you at, Dana, on this whole wave thing?
Stephen
Underrated.
Kyle
Dana, when you think about space and it blows your mind, is that exciting or is that terrifying?
Stephen
Terrifying. I try not to. I. No joke. I had to go on medicine because I thought about it too much.
Dana
On general medicine.
Brandon Walker
All right, I'll give you medicine.
Kyle
Medicine, dude.
Stephen
It freaks me out. I try to. Try not to think about it.
Brandon Walker
What medicine?
Stephen
Like, anxiety medicine.
Brandon Walker
And it's primarily because of space.
Stephen
That's a big part of it. Yeah.
Danny
What is space doing to you?
Stephen
I don't want to start talking about specifics because there are people out there that might get freaked out.
Dana
But
Stephen
it's freaky, man.
Brandon Walker
Because it's so vast.
Stephen
None of it makes sense.
Dana
I think. I like that. I'd be. It'd be more depressing if there wasn't much of a space.
Brandon Walker
It just makes you feel, like, insignificant.
Stephen
That ends. I don't know. It makes you feel like nothing's real. And that makes me feel like I go crazy, you know? How is any of this shit real?
Danny
Yeah, I mean, how the Earth is.
Stephen
Is there just a big orb in the middle of nowhere in the sky?
Danny
How.
Brandon Walker
I know.
Stephen
How the. Does that work, man? See, now I'm gonna get freaked out again.
Brandon Walker
Up the dosage.
Kyle
Do we have any medicine in medicine?
Danny
Medicine.
TJ
I need some painkillers.
Brandon Walker
He's thinking about space.
TJ
I feel like you could find, like, comfort in that, though. It's like none of this even matters anyways.
Stephen
There is some. I don't get too deep, but it's like. All right, then that means there must be something bigger than all of us.
Brandon Walker
So that's comforting as well.
Stephen
It is comforting.
Brandon Walker
So what point did you start freaking out? Just like trying to comprehend.
Stephen
Yeah. Compaction. The existential freaks me out.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stephen
But it's all right, you know?
Brandon Walker
You have no desire to travel the cosmos.
Stephen
I said it yesterday. Two days ago. What the fuck?
Danny
No.
Stephen
Sorry, I was.
Dana
What could that mean?
Danny
Who are you having a conversation with right now?
Stephen
Nick.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Stephen
I think my job entails drinking beers. And all of my sports teams have been great for my entire life. Am I just making all of this up? Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Danny, you. You died at. In childbirth.
Stephen
Exactly.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. This is all fake.
Danny
What?
Brandon Walker
You. So you're so lucky that it can't be real.
Stephen
Yes.
TJ
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Probably freaky, right?
Kyle
Whoa.
Mike
I mean, we're all.
Stephen
Oh.
Brandon Walker
Do you think there's a chance you're in a coma right now?
Stephen
All right, see, now I'm gonna start freaking out. Get the fucking Selexa in here.
Brandon Walker
Wake up, Dana.
TJ
All right.
Stephen
Sorry we missed bring the show to a halt.
Brandon Walker
No, no. It's because your sports teams are good. But like, eventually your sports teams will be bad and you won't be drinking beer anymore.
Stephen
Yeah, it's true.
Danny
Yeah. It's all downhill from here.
Stephen
We know that though my liver functions good. 33.
Brandon Walker
Also, your sports teams aren't good.
Danny
The sports teams have to have to circle back to being.
Stephen
The Celtics are great. The Patriots are good.
Danny
Patriots weren't good. Celtics are okay.
Brandon Walker
Celtics are good.
Stephen
It's got their.
Brandon Walker
Don't.
Stephen
Whatever. We're not going to do this.
Danny
We're not going to do it. We're not gonna do it.
Brandon Walker
Cincinnati bubble team.
Danny
Huh?
Stephen
I might have to transfer.
Dana
What?
Brandon Walker
To what? Why?
Stephen
Transfer portal.
Danny
No, you can't. You can't do what you did to Cincinnati Athletics and then get out of there the second you got there. They got bad news.
Stephen
Exactly. So once if I leave, then they'll be good.
Brandon Walker
They probably want you gone. Right.
Stephen
Exactly. I love them. I love that city, though. They're great city.
TJ
Well, you have to go back and redeem yourself for the field goal kick. Right. Was that Cincinnati?
Stephen
They have me back.
Danny
Yeah.
TJ
Can't go for.
Stephen
I'm sorry for putting a halt on the show. Oh, no.
Brandon Walker
I'm feeling dread now.
Danny
Has anybody watched that dinosaur show on Netflix?
Brandon Walker
No, but I really want to.
Danny
So I watched the. I watched about 15 minutes. And my issue with it is. And I'm not a dinosaur denier at all. I'm not anything. My issue is how they Come up with some of this stuff because the. One of the first scenes is these two dinosaurs having a battle over females, a battle over territory.
Brandon Walker
But, like, how do they.
Danny
How they know that that animal, that that particular brand of dinosaur would have been having battles over a harem of females?
Stephen
Right.
Dana
Because they plucked some sediment from the fossil and put it in a petri dish. And that's it. That told the story.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, that's it.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
It just came out that T. Rex walked on. It was a toe walker, like Ethan.
Danny
They also have a fight between a stegosaurus and another. Another animal, and I don't. Do we know they would have fought. Do we know a stegosaurus fought the way he fought? I don't.
Kyle
How do they know what noises dinosaurs made?
Danny
How they know what noises dinosaurs make?
Brandon Walker
Well, in Jurassic park, he had the.
Dana
Oh, yeah.
Brandon Walker
So they're just blowing into the throat bone, huh?
Kyle
Low into the throat bone.
Danny
A lot of the behaviors and the noises are like, that are like. I just don't know how we got there. How we got to a place where we think we understand that.
Kyle
Yeah.
Danny
And now I'm sure there's science, obviously there's science I don't understand, but some of it just feels a little.
Brandon Walker
Do you recommend watching it?
Danny
I only got about 15 minutes in. Yeah. If you like dinosaurs.
Brandon Walker
I think it looks Morgan Freeman narrating. I watched the trailer. He's kind of. He's past his prime, narration wise.
Danny
Yeah, I want him narrating penguins, not dinosaurs.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Danny
It's more of a penguin guy.
Brandon Walker
Do you think once he goes. Because he's in his 90s. Right.
Danny
He's got to be up there. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Like.
Danny
Oh, we'll just go.
Brandon Walker
Is it wrong to get an impersonator to be Morgan Freeman?
Danny
No, I think we'll slide ving Rhames in there. Okay. Yeah, the. Well, we have the mates guy. I think he's in waiting.
Kyle
That's.
Dana
That's him. I think he's next.
Danny
I think Vingraine's gonna.
Brandon Walker
He's gonna Arby's.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Develop at Arby's and then we'll go to docs.
Mike
Well, that's. We've lost James Earl Jones, right?
TJ
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
We still got at dude. No, we don't do it.
Kyle
No question. Impossible.
TJ
David died.
Brandon Walker
Did David Attenborough die?
Danny
Yes. Right.
Brandon Walker
We're running out of narrators.
Mike
Good voices.
Brandon Walker
How old's Ving Rhames?
Danny
Not as old. Edinburgh's 99. All our narrators about was. Is.
Brandon Walker
He's 99.
Kyle
He's awesome.
Brandon Walker
What are all those things?
Danny
He's got too much to 100.
Brandon Walker
We should have a party.
Dana
What are those letters?
Danny
Well, hold on. Betty White got close and she didn't make it.
Brandon Walker
She didn't make a hundred?
Danny
No. She got to, like, a month out.
Dana
Right.
Kyle
Did she get on the COVID of a magazine for 100th birthday?
Danny
Yeah, something like.
Kyle
I think that was gonna have people or something.
Danny
She died a month short of 100 or something like that. What a loser. Failure.
Stephen
Failure.
Brandon Walker
She finished up.
Kyle
Yeah.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
We're running out of narrators.
Danny
How? Freeman's. I'm gonna say Freeman's. 91, 92. Somewhere like that.
Kyle
Tom Hanks did the. The Americas.
Danny
Yeah. But it didn't feel right. Yeah, it felt forced.
Brandon Walker
He doesn't have it.
TJ
Yeah.
Danny
It needs to be either British or black. You think British or black?
Unknown Male Speaker 1
I think Laurence Fishburne's pretty good.
Danny
There you go.
Mike
Surprising 1. Eastern State Penitentiary has an audio tour. I think it's Steve Buscemi. And he nails it. Really?
Danny
Buscemi?
Mike
Buscemi?
Danny
Why is he doing the Eastern State Penitentiary?
Mike
Maybe I made that up, but I.
Brandon Walker
It was definitely the tour.
Mike
Whoever did the voice is somebody you wouldn't expect. And they nailed it.
Brandon Walker
It.
Mike
And I think it's Steve Bumi. Pretty sure. Or he was the voice of the. What's the other one in San Francisco?
TJ
Alcatraz.
Mike
One of those two. He does the audio.
Brandon Walker
I thought I heard Alcatraz, Eastern State Penitentiary.
Mike
He nailed it.
Dana
There you go.
Mike
I've taken the tour and I was like, steve Buscemi.
Kyle
Good pole, kid.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
This is. Wow. Wow. Well, I still got V R up next. I think Ving's up next. And. But we do have to replenish our voices.
Mike
Yeah.
Kyle
Has he done. Has he narrated anything other than Arby's sandwiches?
Brandon Walker
Is it going to Arby, like, too much like Arby's.
Kyle
Can he do multiple sentences in a row?
TJ
Yeah, because he's very dramatic with every word.
Danny
Like the meat.
Mike
I don't know what he looks like, but I know what I think he looks like.
Danny
Bing Rhames.
Mike
Yes.
Danny
He's a bad motherfucker.
Mike
There he is. Adam Sandler. What are you doing here?
Stephen
Waiting for them to play Gangnams style. I used to only know Steve Buscemi as the guy from. With the crazy.
TJ
Crazy eyes.
Mike
Crazy eyes.
Stephen
And then everyone. Everyone was like, nope, he's been a
Brandon Walker
lot more good stuff than that than just crazy eyes.
Stephen
I thought he was just crazy eyes guy.
Mike
Fighter, too. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Wasn't he, like, first on the scene.
Mike
I think so.
Kyle
Or.
Brandon Walker
No, he was an actor.
Danny
He was. He was still.
Brandon Walker
He hopped on a truck.
Danny
Yeah.
TJ
That's one of the most reported. Like, he didn't want anyone to know this. Facts.
Dana
Yeah.
Mike
Yeah.
TJ
Every time you hear it, it's just followed by like. But he didn't tell anyone.
Danny
It's like.
TJ
Well, we all know now.
Danny
He must have been very careful and told the right people.
Brandon Walker
Seth McFarlane was supposed to be on one of the planes.
TJ
Yeah, yeah.
Brandon Walker
That's another one.
TJ
He was hungover and overslept.
Kyle
My donation to the children's hospital. Yeah, that's one as well.
Brandon Walker
That's a hefty donation.
Danny
That's huge.
Kyle
It's talked about a lot.
Mike
Yeah.
Kyle
Wish it wouldn't.
Brandon Walker
See, if something like that happened to me, I would. That'll be the first thing I'd say about myself. Like, I helped out. I helped. Yeah.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
What is this?
Dana
What.
Stephen
What happens?
Danny
We were talking about things people didn't want to get out.
Stephen
Oh, you did that?
Brandon Walker
He gave donation. Somebody leaked the check.
TJ
A big anonymous $15,000.
Stephen
Oh, you only did 15? That's nothing.
Kyle
Well, that was the first installment. Just to get my foot in the door. Just to make sure the.
Stephen
Talk to me when you get to 100k, bro.
Kyle
Just to make sure the system works.
Danny
That was right?
Stephen
Was that.
Brandon Walker
Wait, was that from Zillion Beers?
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
You gave away $100,000?
Mike
Yeah.
Kyle
Wait, he's actually doing. Actually doing.
Danny
Yeah.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
And you did want.
Stephen
I don't want to talk about it.
Danny
Dana. It wasn't your choice, was it?
Stephen
Yeah, it was.
Brandon Walker
You kind of got fooled.
Danny
You kind of got coerced into it.
Brandon Walker
Didn't you feel like it wasn't going to be as expensive
Danny
what you give for? Yeah.
TJ
Didn't you say, like, all the pro softball uniforms ended up being a lot
Danny
more than you thought?
Brandon Walker
Was it softball uniforms?
Danny
Dana, you dove into the.
Stephen
I don't want to talk about it.
Brandon Walker
$100,000, which was, the time, I'd imagine, more than your salary.
Danny
Was it?
Stephen
Yes.
Kyle
And you just. Just generously donated it out of the kindness of your heart?
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
To who?
Stephen
P. Freddy's foundation.
Brandon Walker
All of it?
Stephen
Yeah. They got a check. I got 20k on the side.
Brandon Walker
Was it a big check?
Stephen
It was huge check.
Brandon Walker
Like a. Like a physically big one?
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Stephen
No, but there was real money involved.
Danny
Yeah. Yeah. We believe that.
Stephen
When ALS is cured, I want you guys to apologize to me.
Kyle
That'll be the first thing I do not celebrate that.
Stephen
No, celebrate first.
TJ
Sorry.
Kyle
I would love to Be happy. But unfortunately, I must.
Brandon Walker
First of all, didn't you buy a team's uniforms, too?
Stephen
That was a whole thing. Yeah.
Dana
$100,000 to have found.
Brandon Walker
No, Dana, 30,000 would have been like, wow, this man is an angel.
Dana
One ice bucket challenge.
Brandon Walker
Dana, you're the man.
Danny
Dana, you're the man.
Stephen
I believe in karma.
Danny
That's why you did it.
Stephen
I don't. I did it because I, I. It was a passion of mine.
Brandon Walker
Als is a passion of yours.
Stephen
You know what I mean? So, I don't know.
Brandon Walker
You're. You like to give.
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
We can't throw stones. We don't.
Stephen
I'm a philanthropist.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Stephen
However, I have quite some debt right now,
Danny
so. So you're saying if the Pete Freddy's foundation wanted to give some of it back, you would take it?
Kyle
Kick back?
Stephen
Just saying if I. If I win any. I don't know what I'm saying. What am I saying?
Kyle
Saying if you could do it over, you'd keep them up.
Stephen
No, no, no, no, no. Stop. Don't do that. Do we.
Danny
How did you. How did you raise it? I don't remember.
Stephen
I remember, but I don't remember the winnings. So if I sold a certain amount of merch, I would get $100,000. Oh, that's right. From Dave.
Danny
Yeah. And you crush the.
Stephen
Crush it. And then I said, I'm gonna donate this money.
Danny
That's really nice.
Kyle
That is nice of you, Dana.
Stephen
Yeah, I'm not looking for props. You guys are giving me props.
Danny
But while we were giving Mark props, you. You dove in over the top, and you're like, oh, I did that? Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Talk to me when you give a hundred thousand.
Danny
Right. That's exactly what you're saying.
Stephen
There's no way to prove that verbatim.
Kyle
Said that? Yeah.
Stephen
Did you really do that?
Kyle
No, I didn't. It was a joke. You used this as an opportunity. Shower yourself in glo.
Danny
Worry. He's not looking for props.
Brandon Walker
Dana. Up $100,000.
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
That's lifechanging.
Danny
Probably never see that again.
TJ
It would have been gone by now, right?
Stephen
Oh, yeah.
TJ
Big time.
Danny
I. I remember I Nashville, drowning in beer.
Stephen
It was the first time I had, like, any money. When Dave gave me some cash for that, and I tipped my taxi driver, like, $500. He's like, why? I'm like, I don't know.
Danny
I'm in a good mood.
Stephen
Yeah, I have a spending problem for sure.
Brandon Walker
On what?
Stephen
I just like to live lavishly, even though I don't have money. Like, I don't need a good job.
Brandon Walker
You have a nice car.
Stephen
Why do I need a Ford Bronco?
Danny
That's an awesome looking car.
Brandon Walker
It is.
Stephen
But why do I need that?
Danny
Because you earned it.
Kyle
Yeah.
Stephen
You work hard, I guess. Yeah, I do.
Brandon Walker
But you have a nice apartment.
Stephen
Yeah.
Danny
Again, you're gonna have kids soon. You're not gonna be able to do this shit.
Stephen
You're right. It's worth it.
Danny
Yeah. So shut the fuck up and drive your Bronco.
Stephen
All right. Sorry.
Brandon Walker
If you didn't have kids, Brandon, my God, the shit you'd have.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Whole might.
Danny
I did the math.
Brandon Walker
You ever think about it?
Danny
Oh, yeah. If I didn't have kids or parents, I'd have so much money.
Dana
So you'd have a wonderland.
Danny
I would.
Dana
And then kids would come.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. It would come with kids.
Danny
I would somehow get the kids. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
You would have a compound.
Danny
I probably would, yeah. I definitely have a lot of acreage in Mississippi that I just look at and that would be fun.
Brandon Walker
Don't you have that now?
Danny
It's not mine, frankly.
Brandon Walker
Oh, okay.
Danny
Yeah. Yeah.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Did you used to do mantiquing before
Danny
you started here, or was that just
Unknown Male Speaker 1
since things have been going well?
Danny
No, I. I really lean into it now. I really.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
But you had been doing it before.
Danny
Yeah, I'd always done it. I always collected, but I collected, like, starting lineup figures at 5, $10 a pop and. Yeah. My office when I was a newspaper editor in 2016 was lined with starting lineup figures, but I couldn't afford anything else.
Brandon Walker
Are you gonna give Mikey Betts that stuff?
Danny
Yeah. Although he didn't say yes. Very quick. For my. For my.
Brandon Walker
You're not really a Bulls fan. That was a ton of Bulls.
Mike
That was a lot.
Danny
So I. Mantique in the Chicago area.
Brandon Walker
Yes, you do.
Danny
You run into a lot of bull stuff and a lot of.
Brandon Walker
You don't have to buy it.
Danny
No, this was. In fact, this was. This came. I bought a larger collection from a guy. This was just stuffed down into it. So I got a lot of stuff like that. I'll buy just collections and. And end up taking it apart. And this is what I get out of it.
Brandon Walker
You buy people's whole entire collection?
Danny
Yeah. Yeah. About this guy's collection, but it wasn't. It wasn't much,
Brandon Walker
but. How did you like that? How did you find out this guy was selling his collection?
Danny
I was just at his shop and it came in. I was at a shop and his collection came in.
Brandon Walker
And you were just like, I'm. Before you unpack it, I'll Take the whole thing.
Danny
I saw a couple things in there that I wanted. There was a Michael. Some Michael Jordan posters on top, and I wanted them. I said, I'll just buy the whole thing. And I do love. I am a Michael Jordan guy. So I'm. I'm pleasantly surprised. I love collecting that stuff. And so this kind of just came with it. But I got a lot of bear shit I need to just give away to the guys here because I don't need.
Brandon Walker
Just because it comes with stuff.
Danny
Yeah, you just get a lot of Chicago shit. And that's my antiquing. Although I didn't really go this weekend. This weekend's big. Stephen, are you going? Yeah, we gotta show. We gotta show this week.
Brandon Walker
Is it the National?
Danny
No, it's the Chicago Spectacular.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
This is kind of better in my. And it said that too, right?
Danny
Yeah, it's smaller and better.
Brandon Walker
Is it just sports?
Danny
Yeah, yeah.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
They don't. They have Pokemon and stuff too, right? Or no.
Danny
Yeah. Didn't you go last year?
Brandon Walker
I don't know.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
I think you did.
Brandon Walker
Did I?
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Danny
Yeah.
Dana
The Chicago Spectacular.
Danny
Yeah, just a. It's like the National. It's just not as national. Goes across like four buildings. This one goes across like one and a half.
Brandon Walker
I might give you some cash and try. Try to get me something.
Danny
Oh, I got you.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Danny
What do you want, a Pokemon card?
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Kyle
Where is it, Brennan?
Danny
Is it Rosemont?
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Rosemont.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
Okay.
Kyle
How about that?
Danny
Yeah.
Kyle
So it's just the National.
Stephen
Do you trust? No, it's not the national to pick a good Pokemon card.
Brandon Walker
I'm gonna tell them which one.
Stephen
Okay.
Brandon Walker
I'm gonna tell them which one.
Danny
Saying I wouldn't be trustworthy. I don't.
Stephen
I don't. I assume you don't know much about Pokemon cards.
Danny
I don't.
Brandon Walker
Do you use ebay much?
Danny
Me? Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, Yeah. I just got the sickest card off ebay.
Danny
Did you?
Brandon Walker
Yeah. Bill Cower autograph. But it's on like he's with Barack Obama.
Danny
Show me the card.
TJ
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Good ass piece. Had to have it. One of those things, you just kind of go blind.
Dana
The value in your purchases is just like telling people what it is.
Brandon Walker
That's it. And now I could have lied.
Danny
You do this shit more than I do.
Brandon Walker
I know. I could have just lied. When I do those videos, each of those videos would cost.
Danny
Yeah, I know.
Brandon Walker
A lot of money. And it's not. It's. Yeah.
Stephen
I think if I started scrolling ebay, I would become addicted.
Brandon Walker
We did that in the bar one day. And we all bought jerseys.
Stephen
It's like cocaine. If I were to do cocaine, it's wonderful.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
I've never done cocaine because I know I would be. I would love cocaine.
Brandon Walker
That's where you got the carb tree jersey.
Stephen
If I started scrolling ebay, I would spend so much money.
Brandon Walker
It's so easy.
Kyle
Yeah.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
I was on ebay for at least six hours this weekend.
Brandon Walker
What were you looking for?
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Since I gotten back into cards, I'm just looking at cards and cards. I started buying some. It's fun, but it's. It's very tight.
Danny
It's so much better to do it on ebay, too, than buying the boxes. We buy cheap. The boxes we were.
Brandon Walker
That's a rush, though.
Danny
We're. We're searching for a hit, and you want the feeling. But you could just buy one off.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Yeah.
Danny
For less than the box cost.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Correct.
Danny
But it doesn't have the hunt. I love the hunt.
Dana
No hunt.
Danny
Yeah. I love the. I love the treasure, Steve.
Kyle
Like, it's the treasure.
TJ
Are you ever going on Craigslist or Facebook and meeting up with people I don't trust?
Danny
I won't do that. It's a lot of work I did. Well, I bought one thing off Craigslist in my life, and it was when I was living in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. I was trying to get in shape, and a guy sold me, like, a real bike, like a road bike, like a Lance Armstrong bike. And he sold it for $75, and he would only meet me behind a Burger King. So I bought a stolen bike. It was stolen. I bought a stolen bike. And I tried to get him to explain to me why it was so cheap and why I was meeting in the back of Burger King. He said, just take. Just take the bike, man. And I took care.
Brandon Walker
I'd imagine most of that stuff on there.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Stolen.
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
That's how I used to get. Get jobs.
Brandon Walker
Craigslist.
Stephen
Yeah.
Danny
Really?
Brandon Walker
You would apply for jobs on Craigslist?
Mike
I would get PA Jobs on Craigslist.
Stephen
Really?
Danny
City PA Jobs like production assistance.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
Okay.
Dana
So many gigs.
Mike
Yes.
TJ
It used to be, like, more legitimate. It felt. Now kind of feels like. Is it still as trustworthy?
Danny
Feels sketchy. Yeah.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
Facebook Marketplace scares the out of me.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Mike
Did you see people sell, like, meals?
Brandon Walker
Oh, plates.
Mike
Yeah, plates on. I would not.
Dana
Home cooked meals.
Mike
Home cooked meals, like, on Facebook Market.
Brandon Walker
Very popular.
Mike
It's very popular. I can see, like, baked goods that, like, I make. What is it? The Pizakis or whatever. Last week that everybody was eating, like, I can See, like, hey, we make these special once a year. But, like, people are buying, like, wet food.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. I saw spaghetti, like, fish and stuff.
Dana
Chicken marsala with a side of scalloped potato.
Mike
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Crammed in a big Styrofoam.
Dana
Yeah.
Mike
Who's buying that?
Brandon Walker
Apparently people. People rush to that. That's a big thing.
Mike
Crazy.
TJ
Can I just go to the. The home or they, like, meet me in a wall.
Brandon Walker
Go to their house.
Mike
I think there's on Tick Tock Eggs by Toya. This woman was like, eggs by Toya. Eggs by Toya. She, like, just sells these. It looks disgusting. No offense to her. But, like, just these. Like a lava lamp. Just these eggs bouncing around in this dark liquid. And people are buying that on Facebook Marketplace.
Brandon Walker
A lot of people buying, like, candies, too. Like, hybrid candies.
Dana
Candies are big.
Brandon Walker
That looks great.
Danny
Oh, my God.
Dana
Yeah.
TJ
It's like a specialty that you can't find anywhere else.
Brandon Walker
That looks amazing priced.
Danny
I found. I found my Southern food restaurant. I tried the other day on picture.
Brandon Walker
You were eating hogs feet.
Danny
I was a pig's feet. Yeah. I was this guy. I gotta stop buying food off Facebook Marketplace. The algorithm.
Mike
Oh, he's. He buys food.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah.
Danny
Come on, Mike. What a collection of food that is, huh? Yeah, I was. There was this guy on TikTok talking about his Southern food restaurant in Waukegan, and I was like, fuck, I'll just go try it. And I went. And just. It was excellent.
Mike
Did they.
Brandon Walker
They brought me a couple of Southern. When you walked in?
Danny
Yeah. Well, I. I announced it.
TJ
Welcome to Popeyes.
Brandon Walker
How did you announce it?
Danny
I walked in, I said, I've been looking for y' all for a while. And I really cooked up the Southern. And he's from Alabama and I'm from Mississippi, and we're from very close for, like, really? Yeah. And. And there was one other guy in there. It was a black man from Yazoo City, Mississippi. So we just had a fucking reunion.
Mike
That looks amazing.
Brandon Walker
Were you, like, reminiscing and talking about.
Danny
Yeah, we were talking about foot high school football and shit like that.
Brandon Walker
How many shits did you let out?
Danny
Seven. Yeah, Seven. Yeah. It was so goddamn good.
Brandon Walker
There's nothing that warms my heart whenever I see you drop a shit. What is it?
Dana
What do we got there?
Danny
Smothered pork chops, collard grains and Mac and cheese.
Dana
Mike Piazza equipment.
Unknown Male Speaker 2
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Stephen
Yeah, yeah.
Dana
Pickpocketing should be legal.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, yeah.
Dana
You can. It's a pretty like magically snatch someone's wallet from their pocket, like that's yours.
Danny
Impressive.
Brandon Walker
I've been watching videos of guys like chase down pickpocketers. They wait and like pickpocket heavy areas in like Rome and we'll just chase them and tackle them.
Stephen
So does that.
Dana
That should also be legal.
Stephen
Yeah, yeah. So the, the ensuing violence should also be legal. Yeah, yeah.
Dana
I think you can get away with it.
Brandon Walker
So what they do, nobody could reach into my pocket and I feel like I'd notice.
Danny
They like push it out, right?
Brandon Walker
I don't know.
Danny
They don't pull it. There's a. There's a technique to it.
Brandon Walker
Backpack maybe.
Mike
Can we bring one in here? Like we've brought in the magicians and stuff. I'll pickpocket them on the act and see if they.
Dana
I would love that.
Danny
We all have to.
Dana
I want. Yeah, let's bring in a pickpocket like office wide, have him walk around and
Brandon Walker
see what he gets at the end of the day or at least by the yak.
Danny
How are we gonna find a pickpocket if somebody don't they want to.
Stephen
We just can't tell anyone but like
Dana
he would additive pickpocket.
Mike
We can say that they're with. We can come up with a cover for him.
Danny
Okay.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
I think a lot of them are magicians that I've been to a magician slash illusionist slash other mentalist type show and they do do stuff like that though. They will take people's watch but then present it to them like at the end.
Mike
Yeah. They distract you.
Stephen
Wow.
Danny
I can never be a pickpocket.
Mike
No.
Danny
I don't have the hands. I don't move in silence.
Brandon Walker
In literature, in the media, it's always kids.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Like Oliver Twist. Was he good at it?
Danny
Oliver Twist?
Dana
Yeah.
Danny
I haven't read it since third grade.
Brandon Walker
I think his crew was good at it.
Stephen
Crew was great.
TJ
It's got to be a team effort, right?
Danny
I think some pickpocket. Adult pickpockets working. So work solo. Correct.
TJ
Someone's got to bump them. The others got to distract.
Danny
Yeah. Matt Damon in Ocean's Eleven did it by himself.
Brandon Walker
He was a pickpocket.
Danny
Yeah.
TJ
It's just a movie in Chicago.
Brandon Walker
Do you keep your wallet in your back pocket?
Danny
I do.
TJ
I do, too.
Mike
At the bars, it'd be easy to just go through and take purses.
Dana
Right?
Brandon Walker
They just hang them up.
Dana
Oh, yeah, it is.
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Looking off the train like that. House is full of purses. Look at the crumbs.
Dana
Look at it.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Look away from his crummy penis one time and see a bunch of.
Kyle
Who did say crumbs on the penis?
Dana
I was trying to think of, like, a tiny piece of, like, tissue paper.
Mike
Okay.
Dana
You know what I'm talking about?
Kyle
Yeah.
Dana
Or like a piece. A piece of sweatpant.
Mike
Okay. Like.
Dana
Like the little.
Brandon Walker
Like the pilling.
Dana
Like an iota of cotton.
Mike
Gotcha.
Brandon Walker
But you used your penis.
Stephen
Why
Dana
I use my penis?
Brandon Walker
Yeah, you.
Stephen
Like.
Brandon Walker
In the example I was saying, I
Dana
live so close to the train station that they can see the walls of my urethra.
Danny
Oh, yeah.
Brandon Walker
Is there a chance that this year is the worst of your life?
Dana
No, it's. It's a net upgrade. I like the new place, but yes.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Dana
Yeah. There's always a chance, I think. Every success. Yeah.
Danny
Is it loud? Is it a train going by? I was. I was peeing while you were. Oh, yeah.
Dana
The rumbling of a train.
TJ
Yeah.
Danny
Okay.
Brandon Walker
Is there a chance I see this one?
Dana
Yes.
Brandon Walker
Really?
Dana
Because I finally live in a place that is, like. It can take the orange to three to five guests.
Danny
Did you ever see this place in New York?
Brandon Walker
I've never.
Dana
I never lived in a place where people could, like, chill.
Brandon Walker
You would chill in my apartment.
Dana
You had a bigger place. You had a massive place.
Danny
Massive, yeah. Upstairs, didn't it?
Brandon Walker
That was in Chicago.
Danny
Oh, yeah. You had three floors in Chicago, didn't you? You had a ton of room in Chicago. You were watching me sleep.
Brandon Walker
That wasn't a floor. That was. I was balancing on a wall.
Danny
Okay.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
It was like a nothing you're moving too, right?
Danny
Yeah, everybody's moving.
Brandon Walker
Everybody's moving and getting engaged.
Dana
Moving, engaged.
Brandon Walker
I wonder if it's cuz we're all the same age or all the girlfriends are seeing everybody else and then it's just a domino effect.
Dana
Internal pressure.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Danny
You think they're all plotting it behind closed doors?
TJ
Just go at their own time, their own pace?
Brandon Walker
I don't know.
Danny
But all the girlfriends don't know each other.
Brandon Walker
No, but I think it's. It's like a. An energy.
Kyle
Who's next up? Who's. Who's been with their girlfriend the long.
Danny
Well, I know who's not next up.
Mike
Yeah, I actually told him to hold off. I was like, everyone's doing it right now.
Brandon Walker
You told him to chill out.
Dana
He's got to wait.
TJ
Oh, I could wait another five years.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, White socks Dave. Oh, he would do it. It would be him on his knee would be so funny because everything would be. Where'd you go? We doing this thing.
TJ
Hey, down here.
Brandon Walker
You're the only cunt I want. Seeing him in a tux would be adorable.
TJ
We were talking. We want him to be the ordained minister of Chief's wedding.
Brandon Walker
Oh, but they were getting to an argument.
TJ
She doesn't want to. Yeah, we were saying, like, he'd probably be good for like 90 of it, but then he'd have a line where it's just like. All right, pucker up, you two. Then we were comparing it to like how it'd be compared to when he did the Laugh Factory. That was great.
Brandon Walker
I need him to do that again Anyway.
TJ
No Cliff DiMartino in here. Carago silent.
Mike
That.
Brandon Walker
I want to start doing that again. Seeing Dave up on stage.
Danny
Oh, that's a good segue. Here, go watch Joey Avery's stand.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah, great.
Danny
I watched it last night. Very funny. Frequent yak guest. One of the best. Yak. Yes.
Dana
Oh, he's the best.
Danny
His special came out last night at 8 o'. Clock. I think it did very well. But go watch Joey every special.
Brandon Walker
Him and Ving Rhames are next to blow.
Danny
I agree. Yeah, it's Ving1 Joey like 1B.
Brandon Walker
Oh, it might be a power gap between Ving and Joey.
Danny
Yeah, Ving's. Well, Ving's been waiting for a while.
Brandon Walker
It was a great special and I saw a lot of kind people from the act in the comments, which was nice.
Danny
Yeah.
Dana
Get over there after this.
Danny
Yeah, it was. It was very.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, it's dedicated to Corski.
Kyle
Joey just read his entire book.
Dana
That was so important show.
Mike
Yeah.
Kyle
He's kept pulling out every. Every fact imaginable.
Brandon Walker
We got to get him down here.
Danny
Gorski, to me, was the all time pleasant surprise that we've ever had on the. I was like, just dreading talking to him. Nothing. Nothing about his story was interesting, but like, we talked to him for 15 minutes and I was enthralled by it.
Mike
Yep.
Brandon Walker
I do think there's something interesting about people that are such creatures of habit, like.
Danny
Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. I just. I just had a bad feeling going in and it was completely wrong. Stupid, moronic.
Brandon Walker
There's his biggest hater. That's the ultimate rivalry.
Danny
DLO and Gorski.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
I don't want DLO to ever give in, though.
Brandon Walker
He won't.
Danny
I want him to stay. Stay. Stick to his guns on this.
Brandon Walker
DLO did. I think he brought up, like, how did. How do you do it over Covid?
Danny
Yeah, that might have been a question we could have asked.
Mike
McDonald's were still open, though.
Brandon Walker
Were they still rolling?
Danny
There was definitely a couple day period where you probably couldn't get one right
Brandon Walker
unless it was still this, like, frozen period.
Danny
I don't know. I feel like there was. There was. Right. When the whole world shut down, it was like three days. Nobody left the house for anything.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
If you're Gorski, though, wouldn't you just, like buy 20 and just throw them in the freezer?
Danny
Oh, you know that's happening. Like, as soon as he sees the rumors of something happening in China, he just starts stocking up.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Yeah.
TJ
Frozen Big Max is crazy.
Brandon Walker
I do want to try it.
Kyle
Microwave frozen insane.
Brandon Walker
He said it's an acquired taste.
Danny
I wonder how you think if he does it like a minute or does he do two minutes in the microwave? What's his recipe for the.
Kyle
Yeah, you know, he's got us.
Danny
He's got it down.
Kyle
You know, he's got it down like two minutes.
Danny
It feels like it would get it too hot, but maybe he heats it up and then lets it sit.
Kyle
Lets it sit for an exact amount of time.
Dana
Yeah, yeah, he's got it down.
Kyle
There's so many questions.
Danny
Yeah, we might need. We might need a second Gorski, because I. I came out of there with a lot of questions.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
You think he takes the lettuce off the microwave?
TJ
So I was gonna say it can't be good. You got that sauce boiling in there and the lettuce.
Danny
No, I bet he keeps the lettuce on because, remember, one of the big things Was when they went to shredded lettuce. He hated it so much. He's a big lettuce guy, but he's
TJ
saying in the microwave like you're heating up the lettuce.
Danny
I want to know about Kearney, Nebraska. What are they doing? Yeah, what is Kearney, Nebraska doing that everybody else isn't doing?
Dana
Doing what in D2 titles in wrestling. I saw a map of the all the counties that have McDonald's and the ones that don't.
Brandon Walker
You would like it in the United
Danny
States or in Nebraska. Okay. I would like to see that map as well.
Dana
Yep. You think peanut butter would be good on a big Mac?
Unknown Male Speaker 1
No.
Brandon Walker
Peanut butter is good on burgers.
Danny
Peanut butter can do a lot of things.
Brandon Walker
Do a lot.
Kyle
Yeah.
Dana
I've been wanting to have this conversation.
Danny
I've just never we scared of the
Dana
limitations of peanut butter's versatility.
Brandon Walker
The limit.
Dana
Isn't it just crazy? It just works on celery.
TJ
Yeah.
Stephen
Apples, fruit.
Brandon Walker
But I think it works on what it overpowers the taste of it.
Mike
Peanut sauce and noodles and stuff.
TJ
Yeah.
Dana
Every food group, grains.
Mike
I had a dairy butter hot dog in Charlotte. It was so good. Really worked. Yep.
Brandon Walker
It's got peanut butter hot dog.
Danny
So we're saying. You're saying we could even take peanut
Dana
butter Works on celery. Like what we haven't tried. Like, it could probably work on a lot of things.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Wasn't Will Compton pushing peanut butter and chili?
Brandon Walker
Yeah, that would work.
Dana
People do that with cinnamon rolls.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. Is that a southern thing?
Dana
No, the cinnamon rolls in chili Kansas thing.
Kyle
Okay.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I'm always enamored by the people that just eat the same thing every day. Like him with the big Mac. There's a boy on tick tock I like that only eats honey. He dresses like a Victorian boy and just eats.
Dana
Wait, wait, I know who that is.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, I like him a lot.
Stephen
That's what I used to do growing up.
Brandon Walker
Just eat honey every day?
Stephen
No, I ate the same every single day.
Danny
What was it for lunch?
Stephen
At least a salami sandwich on bread with nothing on it.
Danny
No sandwiches on bread.
Dana
Salami sandwich on bread.
Brandon Walker
Here's the twist. Give me a salami sandwich on bread.
Stephen
No toppings or anything. Just no sauce.
Danny
Salami and bread.
Kyle
Salami bread. Yep, that's it.
Stephen
Really, you need a lube, a strawberry yogurt, apples, and a capri sun.
Danny
How'd you end up on this?
Stephen
What, being fat?
Danny
No, how'd you end up with this meal?
Stephen
That's just what I used to make for lunch growing up. Yeah, but there was someone. There was like, a salty.
Danny
Right?
Kyle
Did you just do it one day? You just threw all that together, and
Brandon Walker
then this is it forever.
Stephen
Yeah. And then people are surprised that I haven't tried a lot of growing up. Dinner would be homemade dinner, whatever my parents made. But lunch, that was at. Every single day.
Kyle
But how. Yeah.
Stephen
A cheese stick.
Danny
What. What kind of cheese stick?
Stephen
Just, like, the mozzarella cheese stick.
Brandon Walker
I feel like a lot of kids, though. Like, my school lunch was a mustard sandwich on a sesame bun every day.
TJ
What?
Brandon Walker
Mustard on bread, no meat. Yeah. And then a bag of munchos.
Danny
Oh, good. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
It's like a chrome burgundy bag.
Stephen
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I love munchos.
Danny
They're like. They're almost translucent. Yeah, they're good, though. They have their own taste.
Dana
Those are bad.
TJ
Yeah, they're just way too salty.
Brandon Walker
That and muncho.
Stephen
I've been crushing chicken biscuits. Yeah.
Danny
Yes.
Brandon Walker
I'm so glad.
Stephen
Now I see them everywhere.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, they're.
Stephen
Yeah, everywhere.
Brandon Walker
They're omnipresent.
Danny
You cheese on them. Spread them.
Stephen
I haven't tried the cheese yet.
Brandon Walker
Just plain is like, plain.
Stephen
It's. It's heavenly.
Brandon Walker
It's so simple.
Danny
That's my cracker for a spreadable cheese. You know, one of those cheese in the cans, which can't be healthy, but they're so good.
TJ
Do you think they sell more peanut M M's than regular M M's?
Brandon Walker
Whoa, Danny.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Whoa.
Dana
No, I.
Brandon Walker
Do.
TJ
You say no, but you're never seeing regular M M's in any vending machine, any concession stands. It's always the yellow bag.
Danny
But I think you see regular.
Mike
Regular M M's are in a lot of baked goods and other. So true.
TJ
That's where. That's where it gets a little more even.
Stephen
Trail mix.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
It's almost more of an accessory now than anything.
TJ
And every other form of M M is probably more popular than the original.
Brandon Walker
Not crispy. But those were my favorite. Those are so good.
Danny
Crispy. They made a crispy.
Brandon Walker
The blue bag.
Dana
Yeah. Good.
Brandon Walker
That was a one Rice Krispie in it. Did you find the.
Dana
They said it's. It's. It's so close.
Kyle
Really?
TJ
I mean, regular M and M's are just chocolate chips. Same purpose.
Brandon Walker
Who was it, Dave? That was like, you know, they're not. They taste the same. The colors.
TJ
A lot of people don't know. They all taste the same.
Mike
Like.
TJ
Wait, People don't know that.
Kyle
Back to code.
Brandon Walker
Hey, this is PFT from part of my take a terrible call by the refs. A back breaking interception in the red zone. Brutal clock management. At the end of a half, when the season has you ready to snap, don't break. Snap into a Slim Jim instead. Slim Jim is not just a meat stick. It's the OG Slim Jim is the bold spicy snack that snaps back. No fumbles, no bad calls. Just bold flavor that can never be sidelined. So if your team has you feeling like you're ready to snap, call a timeout and snap into a Slim Jim all time clip.
Danny
Stephen, we only got one today.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Yes, sir.
Brandon Walker
Steven's reeling right now.
Danny
Why Buccaneers six time Pro bowl wide receiver Mike Evans 49ers.
Brandon Walker
Are you all right?
Unknown Male Speaker 1
It sucks because he's one of the guys that's going to be like a one. There was supposed to be like a one Jersey guy's whole career.
Brandon Walker
Career.
Danny
So 12 years similar colors.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Sucks.
Dana
Yeah, it's a big loss.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Yeah, no, it's, it's a bummer. I mean he's, he's a little bit past his prime, but at the same time you just want to see him just be a buck for life. And it's sad that that won't happen.
Mike
So today is like the one magical day from 12am to 12am where they can go anywhere and then at midnight that stops.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
It's like legal tampering. So they can. I think there's something done with it. It's used to be you could just
Danny
talk to the agents.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Now you can talk to each team can talk to up to five players for like an hour each. So yeah, it started. People are reaching agreements.
Danny
It.
Mike
But it's just one day long.
Danny
No, it's, it goes, it's usually like
Unknown Male Speaker 1
three days but all the, all the actions done on the first day for the most.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Your Finns finally got a quarterback, man.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I can tell you've been excited.
Danny
I have been.
Brandon Walker
You love those guys down in Miami.
Danny
Why do y' all do this?
Brandon Walker
Because I need you to give it up.
Dana
Give it up?
Danny
Why would I give it up?
Brandon Walker
I'm not a fan.
Danny
I am a Miami Dolphins fan. I've been Miami Dolphins fans of five years old. I have pictures of five years old Brandon Walker in a Damarino jersey.
Stephen
Okay.
Danny
And seven year old Brandon Walker. Nine year old Brandon Walker. I'm a Dolphins fan.
Stephen
You should start streaming the games then.
Danny
No, no, no.
Brandon Walker
Would you rather the Dolphins win a Super bowl or you get $10,000?
Danny
Dolphins win a Super Bowl? Asked me that seven years ago. Different answer.
Brandon Walker
Dolphins won a super 10,000 cash.
Danny
Dolphins won a Super Bowl, Dolphins, super
Brandon Walker
bowl or Jordan rookie card?
Danny
Jordan. Dolphin, Super Bowl. Jordan. It's close. Yeah, I'd have to think about that one.
Brandon Walker
Dolphins, Super bowl or 300 pairs of socks from with the pat with your things on.
Danny
Oh, wow. And I get complete creative autonomy.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
Wow. If I could design the socks that I wear, that would be awesome. I'd probably go with the socks.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Danny
Yeah, probably go with the socks. What about you?
Brandon Walker
You.
Danny
You don't live and die with the Steelers like you used to?
Brandon Walker
No.
Danny
Okay.
Brandon Walker
No, I don't.
Danny
I was glad we were able.
Kyle
That's pretty easy.
Danny
All right. Now I don't guess I'll lower the tone of my voice.
Mike
I want to know how did that chat show go this morning? The Clemmer?
Kyle
Yeah.
Mike
People got voted off by the chat and it's.
Brandon Walker
Is it every morning for the next three days?
TJ
I believe so.
Mike
We got voted off today. Oh, it hasn't gone yet.
Brandon Walker
Well, they did a morning show and then they come back in the afternoon and they do another episode.
TJ
Whoa. They reconvene at I think 4:00pm 4:00pm their time.
Mike
3 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Is this ever? It's going to be every week going forward or just.
TJ
No, just this week. I believe this week.
Mike
Chat eliminator. Okay. I didn't know how that went. 3:10. 3:11.
Brandon Walker
Did Tommy Smokes get eliminated? I believe first. Thank God. Thank God. Don't see that shrug. He's my friend, but I like. Do you have friends that you despise? Yeah.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
And you almost just have to be friends with them because of circumstances.
Kyle
That's him for you.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. Yeah. Is Brandon yours?
Kyle
Let me think. I'm dragging ass this time thing. Oh, did that think. I don't remember it hitting like this. And it's not because of the kid because I think the last few years I've had a problem with it. I think I'm just getting old.
TJ
I wasn't ready for it this year.
Kyle
Spring ahead. Spring ahead. Me up. It'll get. But why?
Brandon Walker
But why? It's one hour.
Kyle
Why shouldn't you up. But it does something about it.
Mike
I forgot Saturday night, me and Pat, we like we don't hang out much anymore. Just as this phase in life because you put the kids down, you just want to go like go to bed.
Danny
Yeah.
Mike
Or like let's stay up and have wine and like, like hang out and we were hanging out. We were watching Terminator 2. We were just laughing on the cow. We were like having a good time and then it was like 2:30 in the morning I was like we're tomorrow morning.
Kyle
Yeah.
Mike
And it really screwed us up for the. I haven't recovered either. I haven't recovered yet. Brutal.
Kyle
Yeah.
Mike
But it was nice to have the sunlight last night. I gotta say.
TJ
So we had an argument a while ago where chief said he much rather prefer it bright in the morning when he wakes up than get the extra few hours at night.
Mike
No way.
Brandon Walker
Wrong.
Danny
Stupid.
TJ
Right?
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
That's.
Dana
Yeah.
Stephen
Arguably the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
TJ
But I thought maybe the sun parents
Danny
up till seven is such a goddamn game changer.
Stephen
So much better feel I'm going down
Brandon Walker
at like five is the most depressing. No.
Danny
Wrong answer.
Stephen
Doing up in the morning that early longer afternoons.
TJ
He says he wakes up at like 5:30am every day.
Brandon Walker
No he doesn't.
Danny
Longer afternoons. Always the answer.
TJ
Always. I mean he was. He was drastically outvoted. Don't worry. I just want to make sure.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Wrong.
TJ
He was.
Brandon Walker
You guys did the best Michaels draft. And Brand, I feel like you would have been good at it. I don't know. I don't know if I agree with some of them.
TJ
I wasn't on this one.
Danny
I had a problem.
Brandon Walker
Michael Jackson not being one. One is insane.
TJ
Was it Jordan also?
Danny
Yeah. I mean it's a Chicago show so I can see that they somebody pick Hardy. Hardy doesn't go by Michael Hardy. Is Hardy.
TJ
Is the graphic out yet?
Danny
Yeah, it's.
Brandon Walker
Wait, who's Hardy?
Danny
Oh, Hardy's untrust music singer but he's
Brandon Walker
made top Mike Wazowski being second round is crazy.
Dana
Wait, wait.
Stephen
There's a guy I love Hardy, but
Danny
Hardy not a famous Michael.
Mike
Did nobody pick the craft store?
TJ
Craft store?
Brandon Walker
Nobody took Mike.
TJ
Yeah.
Danny
Where's Lorne Michaels?
Kyle
Mick Jagger's crazy too.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
That's not Michael.
Danny
That's a Mick.
Kyle
Mick.
Danny
These. These pissed me off.
Brandon Walker
Mike Posner made it.
Danny
No.
Dana
Am I underestimated?
Danny
There's no situation like Mike. Awesome.
Mike
The rest the situation might be one of the most Phelps.
Kyle
Yes.
Brandon Walker
Meyer's great.
Dana
Vic. Of course. B. Jordan. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Who play a third round? I. I like Michael Boublay as much as the next guy but I don't think he's a third round mic material.
Danny
Who's that guy beside him?
Stephen
You don't know Mike Jones?
Danny
Who? Dumbass.
Kyle
Yeah.
Dana
This is.
TJ
Yeah. I don't like Mick Jagger being in
Danny
there just because he's not 13308004 oh
TJ
they could even go last names. George Michael.
Brandon Walker
Mike. Mike Posner. Who took him? Somebody's cheating that was somebody panicking. That's okay. Casey
Stephen
Posner.
Brandon Walker
I like I'm withholding my vote. I don't think anybody won.
TJ
Do you think we can make a team of Mikes that weren't picked?
Danny
Jordan and J. Fox is a hell of a star, but that one falls apart.
TJ
It does.
Stephen
I don't know. Mike Jones is pretty legendary.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
He was famous 20 years ago, but I.
Stephen
But he's still. When you hear his name, he is a trigger.
Kyle
When like guys in like a four age window here.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Dana
Very specific to guys who were 20,
Danny
17 and 21 back then.
Kyle
Yeah.
Mike
No, he does a version of Wheels on the Bus. Now. That rules.
Brandon Walker
Mike Jones does.
Mike
Yeah. It's sick. Drops. Kids love it.
Brandon Walker
Wazowski. Second round's crazy.
Danny
You're saying that's too high.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
Yeah. Taking fictional characters, though, I guess the Scott is three. Like Corleone at four is crazy.
Brandon Walker
That is crazy.
Danny
Scott at three. I'm okay with him.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. And I'm fine with Tyson in the first round.
Danny
Yeah.
Dana
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Connor Run Away Jackson.
Mike
Is Brett Michaels on there?
Brandon Walker
No.
Danny
What? What? Connor. Is that ours? That's Connor. Connor Griffin won a draft.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
I'll be goddamn.
Kyle
You had Vibs. Connor and Casey on the draft.
Brandon Walker
That's the big three for just Michaels.
Kyle
That's.
Danny
Couldn't we.
Brandon Walker
They're like our three Michael people. You think Michaels. You gotta think.
Stephen
Isn't Large L. On there.
Danny
Isn't Large's name Michael? Yeah, it is. Was.
Brandon Walker
L wasn't on there. I don't.
Danny
Al should have been on there. Trout. It's a great question.
Kyle
I'm watching that. That JFK junior Show. Like, a lot of people are. Every time they. They mention or hint at him being the most famous guy in America, I get triggered.
Stephen
Weird.
Kyle
Because it's like. Like Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson were both.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Kyle
In their prime at the time.
Dana
They're saying jfk.
Kyle
They'll just be like, john, you're the most famous guy in America. You can't just.
Dana
Yeah. Junior. Yes.
Kyle
Yeah. Like, he's not.
Brandon Walker
I agree.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
But I wasn't like. I wasn't around at the time. I was like, not cognizant maybe.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
He was voted sexiest man alive.
Kyle
Sure.
Danny
He can have that.
Kyle
Which if they said that if they're like, john, you're the sexiest man alive, I'd be like, I can't say anything.
Mike
Thing.
Brandon Walker
Right.
Kyle
But he wasn't the most famous man in America, surely, Brandon.
Dana
Right.
Danny
No.
Brandon Walker
Was George magazine successful? Because that was his whole thing.
Kyle
Oh, yeah, Yeah.
Danny
I don't.
Brandon Walker
A political magazine with, like, hot chicks on the COVID Yeah, yeah. Called George.
Danny
I don't remember. I don't remember it being that successful. But I was young.
Kyle
Maybe it's ahead of its time, you know, 95.
Brandon Walker
2001.
Kyle
Dress up as people like Sidney Crawford, as George Washington.
Mike
All right.
Danny
I could be talked into that.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, that. That kind of scratches an itch for me.
Kyle
Final issue, January 01. They had no coverage of.
Brandon Walker
Huh.
Kyle
Dale either. Would love to see the column on that.
TJ
Do you think Mike Stud would be in the top 500 most famous Michaels?
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
TJ
You think 500? What about a thousand?
Dana
He sells. Yeah, he sells out shows.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
The believer.
TJ
But if you. If you think like most starting athletes named Michael, who's Mike would already be more famous than him. You got people like Brandon who don't even know who Mike Stud is. He didn't necessarily have, like, a big popular radio hit or anything.
Stephen
He's got a very. He's got his. His people are very niche, which.
Brandon Walker
But they're not getting that top of thousand spot.
Stephen
I don't know what the word is.
Brandon Walker
There's been so many mics.
Stephen
Loyal.
TJ
So many.
Stephen
Loyal. Very loyal.
Brandon Walker
Oh, come on.
Dana
Is Coach K. Mike?
Stephen
Yes.
Danny
Yeah.
Mike
I can't believe Mike Hunt wasn't on there.
Brandon Walker
I actually know one of those.
Mike
You do? Yeah.
Dana
Steve, are you familiar with that Mike?
Mike
Oh, an actual Mic Hunt.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Mike
Oh, that's. That's tough.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
I heard him mentioned in Moe's Tavern, I believe.
Kyle
Yeah, that's right. Who's Mike Stud?
Brandon Walker
He dropped the Stud. Right.
Danny
He's just Mike.
TJ
No.
Brandon Walker
With a period.
TJ
It's kind of like. Yeah.
Stephen
Universe. He did Dave's.
Danny
Oh, did he do.
TJ
Yeah. Did he do from him?
Danny
Right.
Stephen
With his permission.
Danny
What was your. Yeah.
TJ
Championship Lina Cup.
Stephen
Well, Beer pong.
Danny
Yeah. Did he do that?
Stephen
He did that.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, he did the Balina cup. And then Dana saw it and had the idea to do the Bellina Cup. You were inspired.
Stephen
I don't know what the reason I did that was, but he was like, no, but I think he told me to call it. I don't know.
Danny
Are we still in the semifinals of that?
Stephen
Yeah.
Danny
We never finished it, right? No, no.
Brandon Walker
I think it'll be so funny if you pick it back up.
Stephen
We're gonna. We're 20, 28.
Brandon Walker
I need to see if Carl beats Willie Cologne.
Danny
That's anybody's talking about.
Brandon Walker
There was, like, a heated debate in the office of who could drink the most beers.
Stephen
I was in that.
Brandon Walker
I got Mad Willie Colon Got mad.
Stephen
Me and Willie Cologne were in a legitimate fight. Yeah. And then I.
Brandon Walker
Stupid.
Stephen
And then he just. I think he crushed me. Did he?
Danny
Huge.
Stephen
But we were all good after that. Beers. Bring people together.
Danny
Bring beers back.
Stephen
Bring beers, bring back beers.
Danny
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Brandon Walker
any big NFL moves?
Danny
Just the quarterbacks, Right? The Dolphins got Malik Willis, Rashawn Garrett of the Cowboys.
Stephen
Linebacker, check.
Brandon Walker
You got Kenny Gainwell.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Yeah, I like Kenny Gainwell.
Danny
Okay.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
And Alex Anzalone, which is exciting, but yeah, Kenny Gainwell.
Danny
Mississippian Evan sucks. That's.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
That's bad. But Tua got cut. $99 million of dead cap. Michael Pittman Jr. Got traded to the Steelers.
TJ
Steelers.
Danny
Alec Piercer.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
Yeah, a lot of movement.
Brandon Walker
Where'd Alec Pierce go?
Unknown Male Speaker 1
He resigned with the colts for like 120something million.
Stephen
Bearcat.
Danny
Really? So nothing on Kyler yet? He's going to the Vikings. All right.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
They were the heavy, heavy favorite when those markets were live. I think it was like -285 or something like that.
Danny
Pounce on that one when it happens.
Dana
Steelers. Would they want them?
Brandon Walker
I. I wouldn't mind it.
Danny
Yeah, that wouldn't. That wouldn't mind it wouldn't move for them. The Vikings need a starting quarterback desperately. They have the worst in the world.
Brandon Walker
You don't want to say that.
Danny
Oh, I do. And I want to say it to a certain person, and I want to say it to a person who's watching right now.
TJ
Career.
Danny
Yeah, him. That's what I say. And we're best friends.
Brandon Walker
Are you.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Okay. Yeah. I don't know. I feel bad for him.
Danny
For J.J. mcCarthy?
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
No, you can't feel bad for him
Brandon Walker
just being universally panned. And then if you have a bad performance, like they Photoshop Their face on you.
Danny
Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that. The. The picture from the locker room.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, yeah.
Mike
What's this I see about Joe Burrow and Jessica Alba?
Brandon Walker
That's sick. God, I like about that Brandon.
Stephen
I think it's been debunked.
Mike
Oh, no, really?
Brandon Walker
What did Brandon say?
Danny
I didn't say anything. It got debunked.
Stephen
I think I. I think I saw something where her boyfriend or whatever posted with her as if to be like,
Brandon Walker
no, that's not his call.
Danny
That's not debunking anything.
Dana
That.
Danny
That is.
Brandon Walker
That is.
Kyle
Guys, I'm her boyfriend and I promise she's with me.
Brandon Walker
How could she be Joe Burrow?
Dana
Yeah,
Stephen
I swear I saw something.
Kyle
There's no way Brandon believes that Joe Burrow should aim higher.
Danny
No, that's.
Dana
That makes them. That's like the most even matchup. They should have a summer in paradise and then cut it off.
Danny
He's putting words in my mouth.
Kyle
That's what you said.
Danny
I said I have a take that I'm going to release on the show on August 28th.
Kyle
He's heavily hinting at the idea that Joe Burrow should. Should aim higher.
Danny
That's not what I said. What I said was if you have all the money in the world and you're going to a new car dealership, you could buy the best new car ever.
Brandon Walker
You don't want a car that's had a kid.
Danny
You don't have to buy even the nicest used car out there. Used to use.
Brandon Walker
Don't say used.
Danny
Pre owned.
Dana
You like that new one in Onion?
Danny
I like the new car scale. Kate.
Mike
We're having an episode, boys. What's the back on pdmx, though?
Danny
Oh, wait.
Mike
Okay.
Danny
See, Danny Ramirez thinks he's standing. Okay, I told you.
Dana
Oh, maybe he just posted with her.
Mike
Oh, he's handsome. Handsome?
Danny
He's not as handsome as Joe Burrow.
Mike
Yes, he is.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, dude.
Danny
Oh, there.
Mike
He had to post that.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, this was strategic.
Kyle
How old?
Brandon Walker
See, Joe bro's not that handsome.
Danny
Joe Burrow's pretty handsome.
Brandon Walker
Who just said Joe's not?
Danny
That TJ said that.
Dana
Did you say that?
Brandon Walker
I don't think he said it.
Kyle
Cj, your mic's on.
Brandon Walker
He's a good looking guy.
Danny
Is she taller than him? Joe Burrow's a good looking guy.
Mike
Yeah, but he does have that look, like a bee sting would kill him.
Brandon Walker
Joe Burrow?
Danny
He's an NFL quarterback.
Kyle
Are you thinking of a Cauley Culkin?
Mike
Yeah, but same vibe.
Danny
Oh, this guy took a picture of flan he must be delicate about him.
Kyle
How old is this? Who's this guy? Danny Ramirez.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, I got flan for. We're dating.
TJ
We're good.
Dana
Who is this?
Stephen
Followed by Glenny Balls
Brandon Walker
and David dobrik.
Danny
All right, 33 looks better without the mustache again. Do y' all don't know who Joe Burrow is?
Brandon Walker
I agree.
Dana
I think he's
Danny
top Joe Burrow.
Brandon Walker
One guy.
Danny
Joe Burrow's better looking than him.
Brandon Walker
Joe Burrow probably has more status than him.
Mike
Oh, Top Gun.
Kyle
Oh, he's fanboy.
Stephen
Well, why can't they just. Why can't Alba just.
Danny
Yeah, you're not.
Stephen
Why can't we let Alba just be Alba and do her. Do her own thing?
Danny
We're not standing in Jessica Alva's way of doing anything. I'm simply saying if I was a 44 year old woman with three kids and I had the option to date either Joe Burrow or that guy, I'm going Joe Burrow.
Stephen
What if she's in love, Brandon?
Brandon Walker
Yeah, you forgot about love.
Danny
Then what's she doing at the blackjack table at midnight?
Stephen
It's a good question.
Mike
Also, quarterbacks are boring. Ultimately, they're not fun guys.
Danny
Kyle, you want to take this one?
Dana
I don't know. I think they are boring because all every ounce of them has to go into being a quarterback.
Mike
Like, sorry, I'm not dating Tom Brady. I'm not. I've talked about this before.
Brandon Walker
You wouldn't do it.
Mike
I wouldn't date an NFL quarterback so they can come at me all they want. It's not happening. Boring snooze fest. Let me read my plays. Let me study the game. Let me get ripped. Let me. I just feel like there's. And they have to be boring because then they lose their jobs. Like, I don't know.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, but it's like be boring for 10 years and collect hundreds of millions of dollars and then go out.
Mike
Yeah, instant gratification, lady.
Brandon Walker
Not for you. Don't think this.
TJ
Reverse psychology.
Brandon Walker
I want to go back to your album, Brandon. You would if you were.
Danny
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Mike
Also, who are you?
Danny
No, no, no. And that's why you saying this. And that's. That's why you think you are. That's why you saying this. He's spreading false information.
Brandon Walker
When you get divorced.
Danny
Yes, Will.
Brandon Walker
And you're at a blackjack table with Alba.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Or there's like a 27 year old chick.
Danny
I'm not. Who would. I'm not Joe Burrow. I'm not Joe Burrow. I'm not. I'm. I don't have the world by the tail. I'm not a 27 year old mega rich, mega athlete. I'm not that.
Brandon Walker
Okay?
Danny
I'm. I'm all. I'm Jessica Alba. Every man under the age of what, 45 grew up idolizing Jessica Alba. Correct?
Brandon Walker
Yes.
Stephen
You guys see those new Megan Fox pictures?
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
There's new Megan Fox pictures?
Stephen
Oh, buddy.
Danny
Oh, wow.
TJ
Yeah.
Stephen
Sorry, it sounds like.
Brandon Walker
Where'd she get all that?
Danny
What?
Mike
I like. She has tiny thumbs, doesn't she?
TJ
Oh, pointing out her flaws.
Mike
No, no.
Danny
Oh, no.
Brandon Walker
She's got women attacking women.
Mike
No, Brandon.
Dana
Yeah, I remember that was going around the schools. She had a gnarled hand.
Mike
No, not nor. But.
Brandon Walker
Oh, no, I thought it was a hoof foot.
Mike
I like things that make people relatable.
Brandon Walker
Wait, it's like. Is she still with Mr. Kelly?
Mike
No, no, no.
Danny
Where'd she get that foot thing?
Dana
Yeah, right.
TJ
Co parenting turkey.
Brandon Walker
Oh, is this a little.
Mike
That's nothing crazy.
Brandon Walker
No, she's disgusting.
Dana
That's fine.
Mike
One of us. One of us.
Danny
And see, Titus, this is you. You are sniffing around.
Kyle
You said it.
Danny
You're sniffing around that I have this hot take and I don't have this hot take.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
You said.
Kyle
You literally said you do have a hot.
Danny
August 28th is when I'll say my take about Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba and Joe Burrow. We'll see where it goes. Obviously, Danny Ramirez thinks it's going nowhere.
Kyle
All right.
Danny
And they got Flan together. Flan? Flan. I don't know.
Brandon Walker
It's a romantic dish, though.
Danny
Flan's good.
Brandon Walker
If you were Joe Burrow, who would you go after?
Danny
I just let him come after me.
Mike
And.
Danny
And I think I would be just drowning in a sea of the best. Yeah, but that's me. That's me as Joe Burrow. Yeah, that is. You guys might be different.
Brandon Walker
You'd be drowning in it.
Danny
Yeah, you guys might be different as Joe Burrow. Danny, you wouldn't be as good at Joe Burrow as I am. And that's just how it is.
Brandon Walker
One day as Joe Burrow. What are you doing?
Danny
Ha. Driving the Batmobile.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah, he does have that.
Danny
I. Listen, I. I'm not here to talk about anybody's choices. Who am I? I'm a 46 year old, fat, washed up piece of shit.
TJ
You're only 46.
Mike
Really?
Danny
Yeah. I've already said that twice on the show.
TJ
I thought you were kidding.
Danny
Why would I joke about that?
TJ
I don't know.
Brandon Walker
I thought you were like 53.
TJ
Ish.
Danny
I'm 40. You know how old I am? I'm 46. Oh, I do be 47 next month. Yeah, that's right. That's right.
Brandon Walker
You want to do a party?
Danny
The. No, no. 47 isn't a party age.
TJ
It's more like a surprise party age.
Danny
What day is it? 13th April. I think that's on the weekend this year.
Unknown Male Speaker 1
So you're saying 50 is a party age because you've.
Danny
I think I'm out of party ages. 50.
Mike
Oh, 50.
Stephen
50 is a big one.
Brandon Walker
13th is a Monday.
TJ
Perfect.
Danny
I told you it was on the weekend.
Brandon Walker
Told Manute Ball was when he died. And Judy Garland and Rasputin.
Danny
46 or 50? 47. 47. But Manu Ball was 7 foot 7. They don't. They don't live long. They don't. They don't live long at all. George Miracle is still alive.
Brandon Walker
Kind of a good duck.
Stephen
Oh, yeah, I met him recently.
Danny
Mirror Sign.
Stephen
Yeah.
Danny
No, you didn't.
Stephen
2019. 2019.
Brandon Walker
Bud Dwyer.
Danny
47. Okay.
Kyle
Well, yeah, that's exciting.
Danny
I'm not gonna get caught doing whatever he was doing just in the middle
Brandon Walker
of the yak,
Danny
take out an envelope.
Kyle
What show would you do it on?
Danny
Oh, out of all my shows at Barstool. Yeah, I would do it on Mostly. I mostly need what the bump would be better for. Mostly. Yeah, I done.
Kyle
Yeah.
Danny
Yeah, I would. If I ever kill myself, I'll kill myself on Mostly.
Kyle
Thanks, man.
Danny
Yeah, you're welcome.
Mike
That's nice.
Danny
Then Connor Griffin does a bit on top of it.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Dana
On top of it. Yeah.
Kyle
All right.
Brandon Walker
Mandisa passed away at 47.
Danny
I didn't know she passed. Manisa's dead.
Brandon Walker
God damn.
Danny
I didn't know Mandisa was gone. Did you just Google who died at 47?
Brandon Walker
Yeah, I thought it's kind of interesting. Who else? Frozen.
Danny
I got a good chance past 47.
Brandon Walker
I do too.
Danny
Yeah. I didn't know Mandisa was dead.
TJ
Yeah, that sucks.
Danny
Is Mirror Sign still with us?
Stephen
I'm trying to look that up, but I definitely met him in 2019.
Danny
George Mirasan.
Stephen
Yes. He was huge. Yeah. He's alive.
Danny
I'll be. God damn. I thought he left us early too.
Mike
No, I don't know who that is.
Stephen
710 7.
Danny
He's not 7 10.
Stephen
7 10.
Danny
He's not 7 10.
Stephen
Says 7 10, right?
Danny
He's never been 7 10.
Stephen
Okay, 7 7.
Danny
He's one of the big 77 players. Sean Bradley. Not dead, but hurt. Sean Bradley paralyzed?
Brandon Walker
Is he paralyzed?
Stephen
I need to send this picture to tj.
Brandon Walker
Like Huey Lewis is deaf.
Danny
I hadn't heard the news.
Rianne Fran
My man.
Brandon Walker
I didn't know you were younger than Usher.
Danny
Am I? I think I'm right at the same
Brandon Walker
age as younger than Usher and Franco.
Danny
Weird. What's the older Franco?
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Danny
James. James Dave.
Brandon Walker
Dave is younger.
Kyle
James Franco's older than you?
Danny
I think so.
Dana
It's wild.
Danny
A lot of people sneaky old up on this piece.
Mike
I feel like James Franco was everywhere and now I don't see him anywhere.
Kyle
He got canceled.
Mike
Oh, did.
Brandon Walker
He was like teaching and sleeping with his students.
Mike
Oh.
Brandon Walker
They said it was an abuse of power. I bet you he comes back. I bet you this year.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
Tj, you want to get the wheel ready?
Kyle
Whoa.
Danny
Yeah, I snuck up on us today. Dan will be back tomorrow.
Brandon Walker
I think I'm out Thursday, Friday this week.
Danny
And then Thursday, Friday we have Dana. Do you know any details?
Stephen
It's going to be extremely over the top. I know that. And it's going to be awesome. All right.
Danny
I was about to call T. Yog off.
Stephen
Is. Is going to be Thursday.
Danny
Friday.
Brandon Walker
Are you nervous?
Stephen
No, I think that. I think. I think the scale started to tip towards me.
Danny
That's baseball.
Kyle
Now.
Brandon Walker
Your faux pas that you made your mistake that you made on the.
Stephen
Yeah, That's. That just drives the numbers.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Kyle
Are we talking closer to figuring out the format of the yog off?
Danny
Yeah.
Stephen
It's best of seven.
Kyle
Yeah, I know that. But I met the.
Danny
The individual matchup.
Stephen
I gotta talk to.
Dana
Who's your teammate?
Stephen
I think I.
Kyle
Is it.
Stephen
I think I'll be able to have Kaden, not Deutsch.
Danny
You gotta have green Greg.
Kyle
Once you go one at a time.
Mike
During the tornado warning this weekend.
Danny
He don't give a.
Mike
The power went out and he kept drinking.
Danny
Green Greg don't give a.
Brandon Walker
No, he's not gonna stop.
Mike
No.
Dana
I love him.
Kyle
He's gonna be in this office.
Danny
Yeah.
Kyle
Yep. This week.
Danny
You're gonna be okay.
Mike
Oh, this week.
Danny
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
And the last time he was in office, it was just a display of domination.
Dana
Yeah.
Stephen
Love him.
Dana
Couldn't have won by more.
Danny
Couldn't take my eyes off of him.
Brandon Walker
I can't wait.
Stephen
That's baseball.
Kyle
It's gonna be an awesome week. And we're streaming. Dana.
Stephen
Yep.
Kyle
Conference championship selection Sunday.
Brandon Walker
Mostly hoops tonight.
Kyle
Mostly hoops.
Stephen
Hoops tonight at 7 o'.
Brandon Walker
Clock.
Danny
Thanks for announcing that strongly.
Stephen
It wasn't Cody's fault.
Brandon Walker
Indiana's not getting in, right?
Kyle
No.
Brandon Walker
Thank God.
Kyle
No. They're not getting in, but they're not completely dead.
Brandon Walker
I know.
Kyle
That's the problem. As of right now, they're not in.
Danny
But after a football title, I don't think they should be allowed in for 10 years.
Brandon Walker
That's fair.
Kyle
I'd be okay with that.
Danny
Yeah.
Mike
Are any of you going to the games here?
Brandon Walker
TJ might go Wednesday.
Mike
Expensive.
Kyle
Is it expensive? You looked.
Mike
Yeah.
Danny
Surely you can get Ohio State to.
Kyle
They're playing like Thursday at 11 our time time. So I'll be busy. Busy working. Busy putting this company on my back.
Danny
Yeah. And I appreciate that.
TJ
You do.
Mike
Thank you.
Kyle
I do. Thank. Yeah. You guys are welcome.
Danny
All right, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
Stephen
Hey, love you guys.
Brandon Walker
Chat Eliminator and then mostly hoops later. Also for all the Yak Trading Cards fans out there. Maybe get ready for an expansion pack soon. Love you guys.
Stephen
Bye.
Barstool Sports – March 9, 2026
In this episode of The Yak, the Barstool crew—featuring Kyle "KBNoSwag" Bauer, Nick, Brandon Walker, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Big Cat (absent today), and guests—dive into their signature brand of wild, irreverent banter. Topics range from Minnesota suburb rivalries and the decline of beer culture, to existential spirals about space, old movie nudity, and absurd musings about life changes and masculinity. It’s a quintessential hangout: fast-moving, hilarious, sometimes thoughtful, and always unpredictable.
[03:01–08:30]
[08:37–09:57]
[14:49–18:44]
[21:13–23:17]
[28:25–31:16]
[44:31–48:04]
[56:12–58:34]
[70:39–74:48]
[75:51–77:58]
[88:09–89:14]
(Sprinkled Throughout)
| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |:---------:|:----------------| | 03:01–08:30 | Edina Hockey, Suburbs, Zillow crawl | | 08:37–09:57 | Engagement Epidemic, Proposal Jokes | | 14:49–18:44 | Beer Culture Decline, “Sober vs. Pussy”, Socializing | | 21:13–23:17 | Puppy Parenting, Dog Training, “Mini Dachshund” | | 28:25–31:16 | Elderly Sex Lives, STDs in Nursing Homes | | 44:31–48:04 | First Movie Nudity, Titties Hall-of-Fame | | 56:12–58:34 | Dana’s Space Anxiety, Existential Freak-Out | | 70:39–74:48 | Memorabilia Collecting, “Mantiquing”, eBay Tales | | 75:51–77:58 | Facebook Marketplace Food, Southern Dinners | | 88:09–89:14 | Peanut Butter Versatility, School Lunches | | 49:45 | Dana’s L-Train Apartment Saga | | 79:26 | “Pickpocketing should be legal” bit |
This episode is a prime example of The Yak’s “anything goes” comedy—hopping from Minnesota hockey talk to the decline of beer, to space-induced mental spirals and peanut butter hot dogs. Real-life banter, quick wit, and honest moments (like Dana’s existential dread) keep the show as unpredictable as it is honest. Not just a sports podcast—a hangout with sharp, unfiltered, and sometimes surprisingly deep personalities.