Dana Is Lecturing College Kids On How To Be As Successful As Him

Summary

The Yak – March 26, 2026

Episode: “Dana Is Lecturing College Kids On How To Be As Successful As Him”

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Yak brings the usual chaos and locker-room banter, with Dana (“Dana Beers”) prepping for his big upcoming college lecture, Rico Bosco on edge about a massive 10-year salary bet hinging on Alabama’s NCAA tournament run, and the crew riffing on everything from revenge to office politics, animal hypotheticals, and the glorious, questionable value of being a top impressionist versus a dancer. Classic Yak: no topic is sacred, everything’s up for jokes, but underneath it all are legitimately funny insights on work, rivalry, and personal growth in Barstool life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rico’s Double-or-Nothing Salary Bet

• Segment Start: [03:07]
• Rico is sweating a legendary company bet — if Alabama wins, his salary doubles for the next 10 years.
• Details: Apparently not compounding; just doubled and locked for a decade.
• Office support is mixed with mockery: “You could win this bet and come away smelling like a rose, or lose this bet and come away smelling like a rose.” (Kyle, [03:18])
• The guys speculate about what it would actually change: “Would you be zen with double the money?” “No, I’d still get kicked out of CVS self-checkout.” (Brandon & Rico, [07:48][07:52])
• Potential fallout and contract details debated, including the idea this puts a bigger Dave Portnoy-shaped target on Rico’s back ([60:00]).
• Notable: Constant ribbing about whether the bet is a “win-win,” and if it makes Rico happier—or just more anxious.

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2. Dana’s Upcoming College Lecture

• Segment Start: [43:27], main thread through [46:00] and [53:51]
• Dana is prepping an hour-long "Business Bootcamp" PowerPoint at Stonehill College entitled "What Barstool Sports Teaches Us About Modern Leadership."
• Dana: “An hour at the business boot camp... these kids had to apply for boot camp?” ([43:57])
• Genuine nerves from Dana, who admits he’ll be using ChatGPT for the PowerPoint. The group jokes about goofing off during the session, including mock-practicing introductions with a fellow guest, “Scott Wiener.”
• The crew has fun at Dana’s expense, predicting oddball Q&A, especially about infamous Yak stories (“What happened in that bog in front of everybody?” [48:32]).
• Dana: “It’ll be boring because it’s going to be legitimate... I’m going to take it very seriously.” ([71:17])
• They debate his wardrobe (suit? Beer shirt? “Quarter zip over a button-down.” [69:36])
• Brandon (encouraging): “Be yourself. That’s probably what they want. That’s why they reached out to you.” ([70:00])

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3. Barstool Office Rivalries & Revenge Stories

• Segment Start: [09:23] and recurring
• Rico recounts personal nemeses from school days (“Jonathan Perrina... always talked about trains.” [09:33]), college RAs, and beefs with co-workers (“Some people are drunks, some people do drugs, I was addicted to anger.” [13:01])
• Discussion of grudges, professional rivalries (especially the Jeff Nadu saga), and whether getting double salary would cure all of Rico’s rage.
• The group jokes about playful revenge, never actually ruining anyone’s month. “You sow so much, but you never reap.” (Brandon, [14:00]; “You’re not a reaper.” [14:02])
• Notable: The idea of nicknames (“My tax guy’s name is Cheese. Everyone has a Cheese.” [19:09]) and the East Coast tradition of ‘ball-breaking.’

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4. Workplace Dynamics: Social Groups, Aging Out, and Dinners

• Segment Start: [28:53] and ongoing
• Riffs on office cliques—‘beer guys’ versus ‘dinner guys,’ what it means to age out of party groups, especially as some (like Jerry) settle down, get pets, and get “aged out.”
• Rico proposes the “supper club” as the evolved experience for the older Barstool set ([29:19]).
• Discussion of dinners versus drinking out; “Dinners are the best. Every time we do it, we say we should do it more.” ([29:31])
• Housewarming invites and the etiquette of house pet names become a running side bit ([77:58] onward).

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5. Animal Hypotheticals & The Classic Yak Tangents

• Segment Start: [90:23] onward (“Should we answer Chase’s question about redwood trees?”)
• Debate: Would you rather be reincarnated as a giant redwood tree or a bird of your choice?
• Polled live with surprising results (“You’re putting 40% up against the fastest animal in the world!” [99:07])
• Appeals to “bird-ness”: “Being a bird with a human brain would be... so sick. I would go fly to the Florida Keys myself... Take a dump on Macon, Georgia.” (Dana, [95:42])

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6. Office Stories: Pets, Facebook Trolling, and Drunken Adventures

• Pets: New kittens, dogs, and birds—how “life-changing” pet ownership is ([73:45]–[87:33]).
• Facebook Trolling: Rico’s shenanigans in local groups, pranking neighbors with posts about golf courses being closed during a snowstorm ([22:12]).
• Drunken Tales: Brandon recounts the only time his wife had to drive him home—Anna’s wedding 2007. “I was in the front seat. Window down, blowing through my hair.” ([31:14])
• Printer/Office Challenges: “Why is the office printer always like trying to operate a jet?” ([52:48])

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7. AI, Impressions, and Odd ‘Would You Rather’ Debates

• The advent of the AI Colin Cowherd: “Ask me anything—about sports or anything. You’ll get me or the AI version of me.” ([117:19])
• Internal debate: Would you rather be the best dancer or best impressionist? Passable singer or top impressionist? ([118:04])
• Quote: “A passable singer can open a lot of doors.” – Dana ([119:10])

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On revenge: “Some people are drunks, some people do drugs—I was addicted to anger.” – Rico ([13:01])
• On doubling his salary: “If you double your salary, you could buy your mom a house... I’d buy a lot of underwear.” – Rico ([61:01])
• On Facebook trolling: “I got a fish!” – Rico, after baiting a local neighbor ([22:43])
• On being called ‘boring’ off-camera: “When cameras are off, I’m a pretty boring guy.” – Rico ([19:55])
• On Ball-Breakers: “I grew up with a ton of them—my uncles are big ball-breakers.” – Rico ([24:03])
• On being invited to lecture at Stonehill: “I have to do a PowerPoint... I’m very excited. I did a Q&A before, hundreds of people showed up. It’s fun.” – Dana ([46:00])
• On animal choices: “Would you rather be a redwood or a peregrine falcon? You could wake up and be like, ‘I’m gonna go fly to Heidi Klum’s house and look in her window.’” – Dana ([94:41])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:07] Rico's 10-Year Double-Salary Bet
• [09:23] Revenge, College Nemeses, Office Beefs
• [43:27], [46:00], [53:51] Dana’s College Lecture Details
• [14:00] Sowing & Reaping (Metaphor Riff)
• [19:09] East Coast Nicknames: “Cheese” & Co.
• [28:53] Office Social Circles: Dinners vs. Beer
• [60:00] Does More Money = Bigger Target?
• [73:45–87:33] Pets & Animal Hypotheticals
• [90:23–99:07] Tree vs. Bird Reincarnation Debate
• [117:19] Colin Cowherd AI Discussion
• [118:04–119:32] Impressions vs. Dancing/Singing Debate
• [100:05] Being White Sox Dave or Mincy – The Ultimate Barstool Life?

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Memorable Bits & Tone

• Yak’s trademark blend of shit-talk and honest reflection: moments of genuine vulnerability (Dana’s nerves, Rico’s anger management) buried in pirouettes of jokes.
• Everyone riffs on the absurdity of office contracts, co-worker rivalries, and the gig economy of Barstool content creation.
• Repeated callback: “And again, I’m Scott Wiener.” Used as an icebreaker for power moves and straight-faced introductions ([73:02], [49:16]).
• Friendly jealousy when Barstool co-workers ditch for sporting events; aging out of office culture.
• Running debates about nicknames, the value of dinner, and if being a cat person is a slippery slope (“Three cats is crazy. The cats officially run the house at three cats.” – Kyle, [79:00])
• End-of-episode country music riff, including Travis Tritt’s “It’s a Great Day to Be Alive” and Conway Twitty being the original heartthrob ([103:13], [106:36]).

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For Listeners New & Old

If you’ve never listened to The Yak, this episode is a perfect entry point: it’s the cast in full, riffing and roasting, but also revealing, in small doses, the real anxieties and successes behind Barstool’s carnival. You come for the laughter, but you end up actually caring about whether Dana will bomb on stage, if Rico’s bet will make him a target, and just how many more “Cheeses” you have to meet in real life.

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Summary covers material content; skips ads, intros/outros, and focuses on major themes, humor, and context.

Transcript

[Brandon]

Hey Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

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[Kyle]

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[Dana]

The Yak Presented by Stella Blue Coffee 100% pure Colombian coffee. Get it in the cans. Get the beans. They got espresso, sweet mocha and they have the sweet cream which I'm a fan of this week. It's hard not to like sweet cream. Sweet cream sounds sour cream on the other hand is I like sour cream

[Brandon]

as well but I don't want that in my coffee.

[Dana]

Right Sweet cream, perfect flavor for coffee. Stella Blue the best coffee and you are saving dogs lives. Every purchase supports agencies and associations and affiliations that help rescue dogs from a life of torment and needles. Yeah, and malnutrition and sties.

[Brandon]

We all love saving dogs and I goop some from paws, some from very expensive breeders.

[Dana]

Bursitis in their dog knees.

[Brandon]

Sties like I hate it when my dog gets a style.

[Dana]

Their paws start start going green and then it's like do I amputate it myself or do I spend a million dollars at at the dog hospital?

[Brandon]

Right?

[Dana]

You don't know what to do. That's why you should drink still a blue coffee. And we got Dana here Today.

[Unidentified Female]

That's right.

[Dana]

But he's here a lot, so.

[Brandon]

Hey, guys, hold your applause.

[Dana]

We got Rico here.

[Rico]

There we go.

[Brandon]

Let's go. Biggest week of your life, perhaps?

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Dana]

It's gotta be.

[Rico]

Last year was pretty big, but. Yeah, this one.

[Brandon]

Did you double your salary last year?

[Kyle]

No.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle]

You could win this bet and come away smelling like a rose or lose this bet and come away smelling like a rose.

[Rico]

Yeah, it's great opportunity, huh?

[Jerry]

So does it double for 10 years or is it just double once?

[Kyle]

You know how much money? If it doubled for 10 years.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Rico]

That's insane.

[Brandon]

He'd be a trillionaire.

[Rico]

Yeah, I'm already a question. No, but that's not three mil now.

[TJ]

So you mean does it. Is it doubled for the next 10 years?

[Dana]

Does the doubled salary double every packed, or does it revert back to the.

[Kyle]

No, I think it's double for it. It doubles and it stays at that level for 10 years. Correct.

[Rico]

Yeah. And then I work some.

[Brandon]

What about inflation, Rico?

[Rico]

We work something out with Dave where. Yeah, it's not just flat double, but potentially. But yeah, we'll see.

[Kyle]

It's double what it would have been with like standard increases or whatever.

[Rico]

Sure, yeah, whatever. But, yeah, it's double for 10 years. Put it that way.

[Brandon]

Have you even thought about the. The other outcome at all?

[Rico]

Yeah, that was my roommate's first question. Yeah, she's like, how's that gonna go? I was like, probably not well, but

[Kyle]

you're gonna do a podcast with a guy for one season. It's gonna do gigantic numbers, and when you go back to negotiate, you're gonna say, yeah, yeah.

[Rico]

I mean, there's opportunity.

[Brandon]

I'm not.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

I'm not walking around doom and glam.

[Kyle]

I've been sure crying. So if.

[Rico]

If I did text Brandon. Wait, what did you text me on? Oh, yeah, you text me about something else and then I text Brandon. I'm like, no, good luck. I was like, that's tough.

[Brandon]

That's up.

[Dana]

No, good luck.

[Rico]

And you just tried to, like, again, talk back down. You were like, no, I said it's a win. I never.

[Kyle]

I didn't win either way.

[Rico]

But you could say good luck.

[Kyle]

Good luck.

[Brandon]

I feel like we're speaking.

[TJ]

Good luck.

[Rico]

Yeah, See, cuz, I'm on your side. They cleaned up your.

[Kyle]

I cleaned up my. Yeah.

[Rico]

Oh, you did it.

[Kyle]

I did it, yeah. Yeah. Because they were bullying me out of it. Oh.

[Rico]

So I got trapped. I thought they did it to you.

[Kyle]

No, they didn't do it to me that I would. No, I Would have.

[Rico]

I don't like that. I would have freaked out and clean my up. I don't like that.

[Kyle]

No, no.

[Rico]

I cuz I don't know where anything is.

[Jerry]

I could use a spring cleaning right now.

[Brandon]

Same.

[Jerry]

My desk is a mess.

[Rico]

Yeah, we're at the worst time of year because the sweatsuits have to be packed away.

[Brandon]

Oh my God.

[Kyle]

This is the worst time of the year.

[Rico]

It's just the V. You look at how high the thing goes.

[Brandon]

It's like, what's your least favorite sweatsuit? Rico,

[Kyle]

have you been sent a sweatsuit? And you're like, I refuse to wear that sweatsuit. No, if you get the sweatsuit, it's. It's.

[Rico]

No. There's a guy who keeps tweeting at me. He wants my two Iowa sweatsuits because I've disavowed Iowa.

[Brandon]

Okay. Are you willing to do give those up?

[Rico]

I want to trade them.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Rico]

I earn those.

[Brandon]

Dana, you seem frustrated, man. Was somebody screaming upstairs while you were trying to work?

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, damn.

[Jerry]

What? Who.

[Rico]

What happened?

[Jerry]

No, I'm. That's not. I'm not frustrated. I think that was. It was funny.

[Brandon]

Somebody wasn't on a phone interview, really loud, pacing in the middle of the office, disrupting everybody answering questions about themselves.

[Jerry]

Oh, it wasn't pacing.

[Rico]

It was sitting like Nikki codes.

[Jerry]

I was frustrated. I'm good.

[Brandon]

I like that.

[Jerry]

I thought it was pretty funny.

[Kyle]

Just right in the middle of the office. I. It was it. No, I guess who it is.

[Jerry]

He was in the ghost lounge. But you could hear every word.

[Brandon]

Every word.

[Jerry]

I wasn't disrupted.

[Dana]

For the record, hypothetical person's defense. Was he making like business moves that could really increase profit value?

[Jerry]

It just sounded like a Ben Mintz tell all.

[TJ]

Yeah. Every time he's doing a business call, it sounds like he's doing like a

[Brandon]

document, an autobiography, like audiobook, documentary, testimonial.

[Rico]

I haven't been. I've been in and out here, so I don't know all the inner things of that.

[Kyle]

Why?

[Rico]

I gotta ask a question. Why is nobody talking about Arkansas at 51 before?

[Kyle]

Okay. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, there was a lot of value. Oh, man. Everybody.

[Kyle]

That was. That was Ben Metz's on us. That was his campaign speech last week.

[Rico]

I walked back in and I got scored a Dave. I go, hey, Dave, do me a favor. Put money on Arkansas 50 to 1. So we stopped hearing about was just like, all right, so.

[Brandon]

But listen, everybody's rooting for you. Everybody wants. Everybody in this office is dying for Alabama to win for you. I want to get that out of the way, you know. Now if it doesn't happen.

[Rico]

Good content one way or the other.

[Brandon]

But if it doesn't happen, does that mean that this other man is hired?

[Rico]

Probably, yeah.

[Dana]

A little contract.

[Brandon]

And what do you think his salary would be?

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[Rico]

Probably a penny more than mine.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I'd imagine he might give him the double. They might give him double what you make.

[Rico]

I don't know if you could justify that.

[Kyle]

I.

[Rico]

You're gonna pay that guy 6.

[Kyle]

Does Dave have to justify anything?

[Rico]

6 million a year knowing.

[Jerry]

Have you seen his.

[Brandon]

Brandon have the same exact contract? Yeah.

[Dana]

With doubling your salary. Change your life.

[Brandon]

Would you be at ease? Would you be at peace? Would you be Zen?

[Rico]

Yeah, you would.

[Brandon]

Nothing would make you mad if you got double your money.

[Rico]

No, I still would probably get kicked out of CVS Self checkout.

[Kyle]

Yeah, agreed.

[Rico]

I'd still get mad at what's.

[Jerry]

Have you been in the office in New York?

[Rico]

I was in yesterday. Quickly.

[Jerry]

Is there any. Any angst?

[Rico]

A little bit, yeah.

[Kyle]

I think from the. From the pick central guys.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Okay, so they're not happy.

[Brandon]

Used to be on that.

[Rico]

Yeah, I was on that. What do you think, Dana? You're a pretty like even killed guy.

[Jerry]

I mean I like all those guys.

[Rico]

I do too. That's the. That's thing.

[Jerry]

It's maybe not. I don't love meek, but you know.

[Brandon]

Oh yeah, you snap. A rare snap from Beers.

[Jerry]

It's just. I'm trying to watch basketball. He's in. In the background just fucking making little meek comments. But that's what he does. I get it.

[Kyle]

It's his prerogative.

[Jerry]

It's tough. You were on the show for a while and I'm sure you felt like you grew out of it, but yeah, you probably should have said something but I'm sure they would have given you shit either way.

[Rico]

Right. So.

[Jerry]

But that's just kind of. It's the right thing to do to say something.

[Brandon]

Did Brandon. Did you give a heads up before you quit the show?

[Kyle]

Well, yeah, because I quit on. Because I was moving here. So I. Everybody saw it coming that I naturally had to quit. There was some talk that I'll zoom in, but I was never. That was never going to be something I was going to do every single day. So. So it was different for me. I mean. Bosco, have. Are you ready to announce that you're moving here or.

[Brandon]

Not yet.

[Kyle]

Not yet.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle]

All right. Okay.

[Dana]

Save it.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we'll save it. Don't spoil it.

[Dana]

Has there Ever been a Jeff Nadu in your life, like, growing up? Like, maybe it was a teammate or coach, a teacher that killed you to have to share the classroom quarter field with?

[Rico]

Yeah. I mean, there was people you hated the most. Jonathan Perrina in grammar school, always asked too many questions and talked about trains. Everything related back to, like, was anything.

[Dana]

Was it personal to you and anything?

[Rico]

Nah, he just was. He wasn't a bad kid. He was just annoying. An RA in high school. I'm sorry. College. He was the worst. The worst.

[Kyle]

What'd he do?

[Rico]

He's just a skill dude. Yeah, he's a dildo.

[Brandon]

Do you remember your first skill?

[Dana]

Laterals.

[Rico]

Like, he said it was a snow. It was a snowball fight. It was 800 of us out on the hill. He goes through like he's in Vietnam. Comes up to me. He's like, you're written up. We start laughing at him. Then he goes to my room, knocks on the door, comes back with the cops, and he's like. They're like, yo, you got to give your id like, you're written up. I was like, does he get a

[Kyle]

gold star for this?

[Rico]

The cop even, like, left. I'm like. Then I went and found the RA handbook of seven violations that he violated

[Dana]

in the process of doing that, committing a felony.

[Rico]

And the resident director lady, halfway through the meeting was like, all right. Like, you just don't worry about it. It's thrown out. I was like, no, he should suffer. She's like, I know that. Just please get out of my office.

[TJ]

What's the best revenge you think you've ever gotten, rico?

[Rico]

Best revenge? I don't know.

[TJ]

Something like that. You were saying? I feel like you plot and scheme a lot if someone does you dirty.

[Jerry]

What?

[TJ]

I said, I feel like you plot and scheme a lot after someone does you dirty.

[Rico]

No, that was a big text. I apologize.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Chase]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I think you would have gotten his question if you weren't looking at your phone.

[Rico]

Dana goes like this. That was a big text.

[Jerry]

It was a business thing.

[Rico]

That was a business text you guys

[Brandon]

both got on a business.

[Kyle]

What? Business?

[Jerry]

Something got canceled. I just wanted to make sure he saw it.

[Rico]

Yeah, sorry, Danny. Give me that one more revenge thing.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Yeah. The best revenge you've ever exacted on somebody that you truly despise. Someone who deserved it.

[Rico]

I don't know.

[Dana]

Actually, you ever ruined someone's month.

[Rico]

What do you mean? What do you mean, I don't know?

[Dana]

I do know.

[Brandon]

Oddly specific.

[Dana]

I don't know here is dramatic.

[Jerry]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

The trigger word.

[Rico]

No. I don't know. I didn't. I didn't know. I don't know. You never know with kb. He's too high value. It's check. I said it on house call when he did it. It's checkers. And he' playing chess.

[Dana]

I'm not.

[Kyle]

That was a checker's movie and he

[Jerry]

just asked a question that might have been a normal question, but I'm also not sure.

[Dana]

Oh, I'm gaslit.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You're playing chess too.

[Dana]

Did I just.

[Rico]

No.

[Jerry]

I'm in the same mindset as Bosco. I. I feel like a lot of what KB says. I don't know if it's like a riddle.

[Kyle]

You just smile and giggle.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Imagine how KB feels living like that.

[Dana]

I try to be a normal.

[Brandon]

Oh my God.

[Dana]

How do I relate to my co workers without being a Cl. Did anyone ever. Do you ever ruined someone's month?

[Brandon]

Look at them laughing. They're all laughing. Normal question.

[Kyle]

Where are we at on the month thing?

[Matt]

I don't know.

[Rico]

I never ruined anybody's month.

[Dana]

All right, the month is arbitrary. It's never ruined someone's time. Like life for an extended period of time. Like you really got revenge and they deserved it.

[Brandon]

Kyle, I don't know how you haven't exploded yet. Cuz I remember like during attendance in class, people would laugh at you saying present.

[Dana]

I could. I couldn't say anything.

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[Rico]

No, I never ruined everybody.

[Dana]

Dana's dying is dying at me.

[Kyle]

All right, let me ask you this. Sure. In my life, I've had mortal enemies and probably despised three to four people. How many have you despised in your life?

[Jerry]

A lot.

[Kyle]

Three to 4,000.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I mean, I don't know.

[Rico]

I'm work. We all carry like, you know, whatever.

[Brandon]

But is it an ins.

[Rico]

Some people are drunks, some people are do drugs. Like I'm a was addicted to anger.

[Brandon]

I'm working on that with this.

[Rico]

What do you want me to say?

[Brandon]

With your new potential co host. Was it hate from first sight?

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

There was no chance of like.

[Rico]

No. No chance.

[Brandon]

There's no chance of tolerating.

[Kyle]

No.

[Rico]

Because it was so obvious. Like again, we'll probably get into it unfortunately on the pod, hopefully. Unless we pull a upset. But yeah, it was just. It was. It was the habitual lying. That's where it all kind of comes from. Because it was. He was sent. He was reaching out to me. Be a guest. I'm a big fan. I have that documented. And then it was like two weeks later, he trashed me. It's like, all right, well, you can't have both ways.

[TJ]

You know what I mean?

[Rico]

So now, fuck you.

[Kyle]

I couldn't imagine somebody trashing you without even really knowing you. Right. When they first started the company, when they just. When, like, if you were to get plucked out of, like, obscurity in Fulton, Mississippi, and then somebody who's been faceless the whole time decides he's gonna trash you to his people without ever even meeting you, I. That would piss me the fuck off.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Fair enough.

[Rico]

I don't know what I even said.

[Brandon]

You sow so much, but hard.

[Matt]

You.

[Brandon]

You never reap.

[Kyle]

You're not a reaper.

[Brandon]

You're not a rapist.

[Rico]

I've been trying to. Wait, so is the good one.

[Kyle]

You reap what you saw.

[Brandon]

You reap what you sow.

[Rico]

See, I've been trying to sew back things, I guess.

[Kyle]

No, No. I don't know.

[Brandon]

Are you cutting back on.

[Kyle]

So is what you put in the ground. Reap is what you take out of it. Okay, you got it. So is what you plant.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Kyle]

Reap is the harvest.

[Brandon]

So I guess you've been cutting back on your sowing to prevent from all the reaping.

[Rico]

Pretty much.

[Jerry]

I thought you put sod in the ground, so.

[Brandon]

It's grass.

[Kyle]

Sod's in the ground.

[Rico]

Sod's on top of the.

[Brandon]

Sod's on top of the ground.

[Rico]

You.

[Kyle]

Sorry.

[Jerry]

Continue.

[Kyle]

So you just stop sewing. You don't sew as much as you used to.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

That's smart.

[Rico]

I think that's accurate.

[Dana]

Yeah. No sewing.

[Brandon]

Because every time you do sew.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon]

You get reaped.

[Kyle]

You get reaped.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Reaped hard.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Rico.

[Rico]

From behind.

[Kyle]

From behind.

[Jerry]

Do you like your. Do you like your road trips? Going out to dinners and.

[Rico]

No hotels and most. I mean, with the games, they're going 12 to 12. You're not really going out.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Rico]

After.

[Jerry]

But, like, I don't mind March Madness. You come here for the dozen or something.

[Rico]

Yeah. I don't mind being on the road. It's just, you know, it's. It is tough, but it's. I love it. I mean, you're in the mix, so I never complain.

[Kyle]

What happened with the Dave dinner where he asked for chicken parm and you just refused to book him?

[Rico]

No.

[Kyle]

So.

[Rico]

So it was. Yeah, everybody immediately. That's very. It's a very funny storyline, but I looked at the resi text first, then looked at Dave's, and he said, chicken palm.

[Kyle]

Oh, you made the reservation before the request.

[Rico]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Rico]

Yeah. So you won't read that part of the story, but that's how it goes. We got a big one tomorrow.

[Kyle]

Did you find a chicken parm place?

[Rico]

Yeah, this guy fucking. I tweeted it.

[Brandon]

But as a Catholic man, does it, does it pain you to. Are you gonna have to eat chicken you don't have to eat Friday?

[Rico]

Nah. Catholic church got a lot of demons. They can't be enforcing their rules back on me.

[Brandon]

What have they done?

[Rico]

Lot of things. Yeah, I think it's more. Might be. Who have they done?

[Kyle]

Oh boy.

[Rico]

What?

[Kyle]

No, nothing. This guy sewing again?

[Rico]

Shout out Babel. Bronx local joint called Sabaros Delicious. Best in the city.

[Brandon]

So I'm going to try that. Okay. Yeah. Swing by Sabaro.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Dana]

So Babel, underrated movie.

[Kyle]

I think it's.

[Rico]

I think it's party of three now though.

[Kyle]

Is it?

[Rico]

Yeah. Big Paulie.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

You don't seem like you like that.

[Rico]

That's fine.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Brandon]

What, you don't like Paul going?

[Kyle]

He's fine.

[Brandon]

It's not a black spot for you. He's a big black spot.

[Rico]

He's fine.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Rico]

All right. What do you think about the game tomorrow or what do you think about the whole process in terms of. I think there were, there were. People kept being like, oh, he's. Is he not going to take it?

[Brandon]

It's the most no brainer you have

[Rico]

to do not to take it.

[Brandon]

This is the, this is the. One of the rare true win wins.

[Rico]

Because I think the other thing too, you got to remember with Dave and you've seen it maybe with some people who aren't at the company here anymore, it feels like if you are presented content type opportunities, or in my case like bets like this, like last year was the bus or even, you know, punishments like two years ago, if you start to push back on that or be like, no, can't do it or you know, whatever, he then holds that a little bit or gets mad of like, oh, okay, you're not in it, you're not willing to. You know what I mean? So yeah, you had to take the bet.

[Kyle]

I tell you what would make me a little nervous. Say it's a win win situation, right? But the same time Alabama and Michigan is happening, who else is playing? Johnny's, Duke, St. John's and Duke, the team you used to be a fan of and the team that you are a mortal enemy of. Basically right now I would be wary of some double or nothing propositions in that cave.

[Rico]

Tomorrow night, Brandon, we Were looking at a quadruple punch on Sunday.

[Kyle]

Such as Boat shoes. Yeah.

[Rico]

Johnny's Iowa, which I didn't even know

[Kyle]

about, by the way. Nobody cares about your boat shoes thing. It's just you holding a grudge against David Blackman for something that Dan and Dave did.

[Jerry]

We don't do names. No, he did it because we don't do names.

[Kyle]

Told me. Yeah, I mean, I. I had my own issues with it, but I don't. I don't sit here on the act

[Rico]

and say boat shoes because you don't speak in code. You haven't been on house call yet. We'll do a little training program.

[Kyle]

You'll invite. You'll treat me. You'll teach me how to speak in code.

[Rico]

You'd be a lot better yet. You never know with the feds, man. Better off speaking in code.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you're right.

[Rico]

We got Nick on it.

[Kyle]

I should watch out. I should watch out for the fit

[Rico]

we put Danny in. But Danny's bad.

[Kyle]

Have to speak I.

[Rico]

With the cartoon characters. They're mad at him.

[Brandon]

Doubling your money will heal you, I'm sure.

[Rico]

I got him in with a bunch of guys with. A bunch of guys with nicknames for the reservation. And he called them cartoon characters. They.

[TJ]

They weren't supposed to hear that all their names were outrageous or Tommy.

[Rico]

Two times they cut the clip and then they're like, fuck Danny. We're never helping him again.

[Kyle]

You. You and Jerry, though. How are all your friends named? Nicky Numbers and. And. And Paulie Peanuts and all that?

[Rico]

That's a. I really do think it's an east coast thing.

[Kyle]

I think it is too, because I've never named my.

[Jerry]

My friends unless I mean Johnny Football. He's not from the East Coast.

[Kyle]

You know what, T. You're goddamn right.

[Rico]

Like, I'm talking about like. Like true nicknames. Yeah, I mean, like the guy who does my taxes, his name Cheese.

[Brandon]

Really?

[Jerry]

I have. I have a Cheese, too.

[Brandon]

We. Everybody has a Cheese.

[Kyle]

Everybody. Okay.

[Dana]

One of the lunch.

[Kyle]

I have a guy whose last name is Per Minute. Or we call him Cheese.

[Jerry]

Lunch lady was Cheese.

[Dana]

Yeah, we like, to her face. We caught her Cheese. Because she had a.

[Jerry]

My.

[Kyle]

Oh, no.

[Rico]

My good friend's cousins are 14. When they were 8 or 9. Growing up, they. We were at some basketball, like, oh, there's Mike in the brown house. I go, wait, what? Why do you call him that? Any little kid. Look, makes you feel stupid. He lives in a brown house.

[Brandon]

That's a good enough reason.

[Rico]

Great reason. I thought that was a good One.

[Dana]

Are you ever like, oh, I'm kind of larping as a mafioso, but this

[Rico]

is fun in terms of the nicknames,

[Dana]

in terms of your whole, whole life. No, I don't think.

[Rico]

I think I'm a pretty. I think when the cameras are off, I'm a pretty boring guy.

[Dana]

That's what I'm saying.

[Kyle]

I disagree. I don't think you're boring.

[Brandon]

Rico, we've had conversations that I feel like I'm in Goodfellas with no camera around.

[Kyle]

When there's no camera around, I kind of wish there was a camera to see.

[Brandon]

And the fact that you think you do turn it off, that's troubling. That is troubling.

[Dana]

You do not.

[Rico]

All right.

[Kyle]

And if anything, he might turn it up. Yeah. Cuz when he trusts that there's no camera around, he really.

[Jerry]

You know what I got upstairs? How many. How many teams are left in the sweet sixteen?

[Brandon]

He asked that.

[Jerry]

I got one of those. That's a. That's a classic Bosca. Camera's off. What's the. What's the one you do about taxes? Tax day or something?

[Rico]

Stock market being closed? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a good one.

[Brandon]

You do a daylight savings, right?

[Rico]

Yeah, yeah. I think Dave should let me do Davey Day trader on national on holidays.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Keep the brand going.

[Jerry]

Yeah, you're right.

[Rico]

Yeah, yeah, It's.

[Unidentified Female]

You know, you do the wedding anniversary one.

[Rico]

Yep.

[Unidentified Female]

That's like. It's my 10th anniversary. You guys got married on a Wednesday.

[Rico]

That's all harmless.

[Unidentified Female]

That's classic Bosco.

[Dana]

Did you have like a. I do it all.

[Rico]

I put a lot of that stuff on Facebook now, Nick. That's where it's all.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's the thing.

[Rico]

Yeah, I had a good one with

[Brandon]

your neighbors on Facebook. And send. You start group chats with the most random hodgepodge of people. Like one time you sent a screenshot to me in chief, and you're just like, look at this.

[Kyle]

That's funny.

[Brandon]

It's. It's always just a new.

[Rico]

It was definitely something we had talked about before.

[Brandon]

Maybe so.

[Rico]

But yeah, like, I had a good one.

[Brandon]

The fact that you say you turn it off on the cameras, you are with people constantly on Facebook.

[Rico]

You need a hobby.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you're right.

[Rico]

I had a good one yesterday.

[Kyle]

What'd you do, a good Facebook post?

[Rico]

Yeah, reply. I'll tell you. Hold on.

[Dana]

When you were growing.

[Kyle]

Oh, here, here.

[Rico]

Where is it?

[Brandon]

Didn't you have one? Because, ladies, like, I saw this kid at home without his parents.

[Rico]

Yeah. The lady goes, this lady goes, I

[Brandon]

saw this kid home alone.

[Rico]

No, I didn't say home alone.

[Brandon]

No, you teetered around, really tiptoed around it.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Saw this boy. I think he stole a toothbrush, running back to his house.

[Rico]

The one that was. The one that was really good was the day of the snowstorm in January. And I was like, hey, I don't really want to, like, you know, besmirch local businesses, but this is really hard for people who are trying to start the new year off and be active. I was like, I just called. I listed the four golf courses. I was like, they're all closed. I was like, this is people. Like, you're joking, right? Like, I'm like, no, lady, I got an eight iron. I got to try and break 90. She's like, you're an asshole. This and that and then. But that means I got you like, I got a fish.

[Kyle]

You just keep going.

[Rico]

It's fun.

[Kyle]

Are you just doing that for reps?

[Rico]

Straight fun.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

The lady. Yesterday was like. We inspected a deck this week. It looked totally fine. Solid boards, clean. If you want peace of mind before summer deck inspections and deck cleanings. I said, usually when somebody has to get their deck cleaned and inspected, they got to pay extra.

[Jerry]

Oh, it's six.

[Rico]

Oh, it's six.

[Kyle]

Ages, inspector deck. That's nothing to. With.

[Rico]

Yeah, exactly.

[TJ]

Is this like a neighborhood watch group?

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[TJ]

I'm surprised they haven't kicked you out yet. They're pretty strict over there.

[Jerry]

I know.

[Dana]

Did you have a prankster inspiration growing up on.

[Rico]

No, I just think. I think with social media, like, if you look at the Internet.

[Kyle]

I don't know, the.

[Dana]

The Internet.

[Rico]

Funny replies is. Is always.

[Dana]

But there's. Growing up as a kid, there was no, like. Like, prankster. Maybe an older guy.

[Jerry]

Why do you keep looking at.

[Rico]

Because.

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

Why do you keep laughing?

[Jerry]

He keeps. Because his eyes are darting from.

[Rico]

Who was the prankster?

[Dana]

I'm asking you if you had inspiration.

[Kyle]

Do you only get a break to learn how to talk to each other?

[Dana]

Me growing up, it was my own dad. So, yeah, he got me into troll.

[Rico]

Yeah, he was a bowl breaker. Yeah, he grew up with a ton of bulb.

[Brandon]

Dana's dying.

[Kyle]

Kyle.

[Brandon]

Kyle, you are murdering right now.

[Jerry]

You are murdering. Whatever this is.

[Kyle]

They're just talking, though, Dana. They haven't said jokes.

[Dana]

I'm trying to be a man. Like, be one of the guys.

[Brandon]

Yeah, just. Just talk with the boys.

[Rico]

My uncles.

[Brandon]

What could Kyle mean by that?

[Rico]

My uncles are big ball breakers.

[Dana]

Yes. Thank you so much. That's all I wanted. He grew up around ball breakers. They were in your own family, Rico. That's what. That's why you were inspired by them in some way.

[Brandon]

Don't look at me, Rico.

[Jerry]

Look at him.

[Rico]

He's your guy, Owen.

[Dana]

That's why you're pulling these funny pranks now, because you grew up around it.

[Rico]

I guess

[Dana]

your uncles were ball breakers.

[Rico]

Did you. Speaking of, like, New York and ball breakers, did you guys see this video Kevin did about the Brooklyn guy in.

[Brandon]

In the airport kfc?

[Jerry]

Are you trying to prank us?

[Rico]

No, I swear to God, Kevin. I mean, tj. Can you pull that up? Apparently, he's on, like, he's been on reality shows and stuff like this. Nobody's seen this video?

[Brandon]

No.

[Rico]

This is one of those things, like, where you make somebody look at your phone and nobody's gonna think it's funny. All right, good to hear. To help. They're not bothering nobody.

[Brandon]

As long as they can check my

[Kyle]

bags and get me on my flight,

[Jerry]

I'm good to go, right?

[Rico]

I want to get.

[Brandon]

I want to get to the Bahamas.

[Jerry]

I want to add it here.

[Rico]

I like that it's on for real, dude.

[Brandon]

And the quote by saying bags with a Z. That's exactly how he said it.

[Rico]

They're talking about the. Obviously agents and Stu like that in the airports. He's like, they're not bothering nobody.

[Jerry]

How was the airport?

[Rico]

You don't find any of that funny?

[Brandon]

I'm not.

[Rico]

And I'm not, like, trying to.

[Dana]

Brandon.

[Rico]

Like, yeah, the New York. Like the stuff we all thought. I don't never find that.

[Kyle]

Like the. The murder guy. I don't really. I never really found any of that funny. I don't know. But I did think that guy looked a touch like White Sox. Dave.

[Rico]

A touch.

[Kyle]

I thought he was, like. He had a touch of Dave in him. Yeah. I'll laugh appropriately next time. I just laughed at the last thing. I was sitting that one out.

[Rico]

No, it's just a fitting, like anything we have, like, with New York humor, New Jersey.

[Kyle]

Like, you never found, in fact, any of that funny? Yeah. No, because y' all just kind of make me sick.

[Brandon]

The man from Mississippi who constantly begs for free shit. Brandon. How was opening day?

[Kyle]

It was really good. It was the best one yet. Like, the family, really. I mean, they. They knocked it out of the park. I cried.

[Brandon]

Wow.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I had a. I had a legitimate tear.

[Brandon]

What? From what? Overwhelming love or.

[Kyle]

No, no, no, no. Somebody. I don't. And I apologize. I'll look up your name because I'm gonna email you later. Somebody bought and sent me a 1968 Oxford High School versus West Point High school football program. High school football game. And my dad was a quarterback.

[Dana]

Yeah, that's.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I didn't, I didn't know your dad was the quarterback for Oxford.

[Kyle]

No, West Point.

[Brandon]

West Point.

[Kyle]

Yeah. He was the starting quarterback and he was. His name was right there in the program.

[Brandon]

Did they win that game?

[Kyle]

Probably not, because we had not really become that strong of a football program yet. That wouldn't happen until the court said, yeah, but as soon as that happened, look out. But yeah, that's pretty beautiful, man. Yeah, it got me real bad. But it was. Somebody sent me that and somebody said a lot of like, there were a lot of hand drawings of me and Titus. There were a lot. There's a starting lineup figure. I mean like the, the people that watch mostly sports are fucking incredible. And the people who watch yak, obviously are incredible too. They're much in one of the same. But it was, it was a fun day.

[Rico]

I love that.

[Kyle]

Good, good concept opening. I like that. Yeah.

[Brandon]

The office is empty today too, by the way. Everybody's at opening day.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Nikki Smokes, Die Hard.

[Jerry]

I was wondering, is that just like. Is that cool to just leave?

[Rico]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

I don't know. Titus told me he had to. He had to go to his kids soccer game. Game.

[Brandon]

Oh yeah, his six month old soccer game.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. He had. He has an excuse.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah. They're starting him young.

[Jerry]

I'm not. I'm not on, Sheriff. That was like a thing.

[Dana]

It's a thing. Yeah.

[TJ]

Probably the combo of Big cat. Now.

[Kyle]

That guy started here 15 minutes ago.

[Jerry]

Mickey Smokes is a, is a Marlins fan.

[Kyle]

Yeah, apparently it doesn't matter. No, none of this fucking matters.

[Jerry]

No, I'm not, I'm.

[Brandon]

We're the fools.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

The absolute fools.

[Jerry]

I just. If I were going to that, I wouldn't post a thing.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you'd be doing it low key.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

White Boy Rick. The whole, the whole group. It's an outing.

[Jerry]

Nice.

[Kyle]

How did that. By the way, how did that miss you? That seems like your crew that would have grabbed you.

[Jerry]

I got a dog now.

[Kyle]

Oh, I think he's.

[Rico]

Sadly, I think he's aging out.

[Jerry]

I am definitely aging out, but I got my guys, me and Deutsch.

[Kyle]

But you are firmly in the group of beer drinkers.

[Brandon]

You're in the welcoming committee.

[Jerry]

Yeah, but like I am. There's a difference between. Oh, Eddie's there. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Like Deutsch. Deutsch is single.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

I am married.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You're settled down.

[Jerry]

Right. So if I was single, I'd be doing a lot of what they're doing.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

And now I have a dog.

[Dana]

It's kind of impossible, but without the motivation of random like you are.

[Jerry]

No, it's just I have.

[Brandon]

That was what was driving you strange.

[Kyle]

What drives everybody.

[Dana]

Consciously or subconscious?

[Jerry]

No, no, no.

[Kyle]

Strange is possibility.

[Jerry]

I never. I shouldn't.

[Kyle]

Yeah, no.

[Jerry]

I'm married.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you're married.

[Rico]

I would like to change the culture. Like if you're aging. Out of the beer guys, let's get a supper club. Let's be dinner guys.

[Jerry]

I'm not an Asian out of the beer guy. I still crush beer.

[Dana]

We should do dinners more often.

[Kyle]

Yeah, we don't.

[Jerry]

Oh, dinners are the best.

[Brandon]

Dinners are the best. Every time we do it, we're like, we should do it more.

[Jerry]

Rico is a great dinner guy. If I. If I can recommend one guy to go to dinner with lots of laughs, lots of good recommendations.

[Kyle]

Have you and I ever had dinner? Almost certainly not. Right? No, I don't think we've ever been at a dinner with the. Where the other one is present. Even in big group dinners. I can't remember me and you being.

[Brandon]

I think you living so far.

[Rico]

Brandon here was the first one, I think.

[Kyle]

Really?

[Rico]

Yeah. That was the one at San Fran where you.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jerry]

Really? Say hello.

[Kyle]

Yeah, well, but you were.

[Rico]

You.

[Kyle]

You had finagled your way into the Rossillo corner and. And weren't. You were boxing everybody out and I couldn't get over there to talk to him because you. You told me not to.

[Dana]

I don't know about that.

[Kyle]

You made me go sit with my wife. No, I think I didn't want to

[Rico]

think you showed up late.

[Brandon]

Actually, I did.

[Rico]

I was in the big cat corner and then it's. Who comes into the big cat corner also.

[Brandon]

Brandon, you were so fucking tanked, you wouldn't remember if you did.

[Kyle]

I was not.

[Brandon]

Yes, you were.

[Kyle]

I did have red wine lips that night. I know that. I had a big case of red wine lips.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Which doesn't happen to me every time I drink red wine. So it's got to be some sort of social faux pas that I'm committing that when it's a big group of people, I always.

[Brandon]

Red wine, wine lips.

[Kyle]

If I'm having dinner with my wife, I don't give red wine lips.

[Rico]

He made three waiters Follow him on fucking Twitter, too. Brandon, did I walk down the hall? What do you mean you don't. Don't you like college football?

[Brandon]

The guy gotta follow me trying to

[Rico]

serve this fucking steak.

[Kyle]

No, not what happened.

[Jerry]

Brandon, when was the last time you were wasted?

[Kyle]

My cousin Anna's wedding to her husband Drew in 2007.

[Brandon]

Like, not able to stand wasted.

[Kyle]

Yeah. It's the only time in 20 years of being married to my wife that she has driven the car.

[Jerry]

Whoa.

[Kyle]

I've never ridden in a car driven by my wife outside of that night.

[Brandon]

How'd she do? Sober you up quick?

[Kyle]

I'm sure she did. Well, she drove us home.

[Brandon]

Were you in the front seat or laying in the back?

[Kyle]

I was in the front seat.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle]

I was. I was. I had the window down, blowing through my hair.

[Brandon]

What happened? What happened to that?

[Kyle]

Just a bunch of. Bunch of wine and beer, I think. And it's just, you know, which is just cut loose.

[Brandon]

Would you be willing to do that one more time?

[Kyle]

I don't know if I got that in my bag anymore. I'll have three or four glasses or two or three. Now I'll have one or two glasses of wine.

[Jerry]

Okay.

[Kyle]

But I just. I don't really know how to.

[Brandon]

Somebody just open up Netflix.

[Kyle]

Yeah, we're watching Netflix now.

[Dana]

Put on hell or I water.

[Brandon]

Yeah, let's stand up and enjoy it.

[Dana]

Was this a level of drunkenness that was more like, I'm an invincible champion or I'm a sad mule?

[Kyle]

No, I get more like my drunk. Drunk is more like, isn't life the fucking best? Everybody, I love you all the time. I haven't seen you in a while. I just. God damn. We don't get the family together enough. Let's. Let's move next to each other and have a beach volleyball net separating the yards.

[Rico]

That's good if it's fun. The I love you guys when they're drunk are really tough. Yeah, those guys are really.

[Kyle]

That's what I was describing, though.

[Brandon]

No, I was trying to give you a compliment.

[Jerry]

I love you, man guy.

[Rico]

I love you, man. Guys are tough, dude.

[Jerry]

Depends.

[Kyle]

I'd rather have an I love you, man guy than I, I hate you and want to fight you.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Fighter stink fight guys are the worst.

[Brandon]

Now I'm just a disappear guy.

[Jerry]

I Irish exit.

[Rico]

I blogged it last night. He's your boy, obviously. And I love him. He's a great guy, Moresh. But is getting in a car crash in another country the worst way for Dave to find out that you Work for us.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Rico]

I said in the. In the Mount Rushmore is like you up and he's got to get involved legally. You make him lose a bet or you just give him a bet unprovoked. You leave and then like trash something and then he finds out who you were there or crashing a car. I think crashing car is number one.

[Brandon]

I think there's some silver linings of like, people coming to do his defense. Be like, he's a responsible guy.

[Kyle]

He's the fucking best.

[Rico]

He's great.

[Dana]

Is the cogs, the wires.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Gears behind so many people and brands.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

He does so much for everyone. It is hilarious. And I'm glad that it's being made into a joke.

[Jerry]

Yes.

[Dana]

It seems like it reminds me of my cocaine situation, minus the trauma of a car crash and airbag deployment.

[Brandon]

Yeah, sure will. It's probably pretty expensive.

[Rico]

The. The earlier tweets in the day though of them being like, it's impossible to drive here. How are we gonna figure this out? Like.

[Brandon]

Well, Moresh is like his mom and dad lived there. Was his mom. His mom lives there now. I know his mom lives on man. Having your mom live on the Isle of Man is tough.

[Dana]

Tough.

[Brandon]

It opens to go. Can I. I gotta get to Isle of Man.

[Kyle]

A question I. You've. You've been to Europe recently? I've never traveled outside of this country. Outside of the Bahamas. Can you just fly to a foreign country and rent a car and drive? Yeah, if you have a driver's license in Illinois. You have a license to drive in London, England or Birmingham?

[Brandon]

I think so. Yeah.

[Kyle]

I did. I don't know that I knew that. I thought. Yeah, you're right.

[Brandon]

It does seem.

[Kyle]

I thought you were beholden to just having to be get carried everywhere.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I guess licenses are.

[Kyle]

I guess they're transferable everywhere in the country world.

[Jerry]

They are on the. You drive on the right side of the car. Left side of the road.

[TJ]

Was the crash due to that?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I guess they were on the

[Rico]

wrong side of the road.

[Jerry]

I would hate that.

[Kyle]

That's a.

[Brandon]

That's a total car.

[Kyle]

I think wreck.

[Rico]

I haven't heard anybody on the wrong side of the road since forever. I don't know. Whatever. Surprised they. They up that way.

[Brandon]

What could this. Let's parse this.

[Kyle]

Yeah. What do we do? What's this bit I was gonna try

[Rico]

when it's so in my head.

[Kyle]

Let's do it. Let's just do it. Let's dive in.

[Rico]

It was the chicken. I haven't heard Anybody?

[Kyle]

That's the one that crossed the road.

[Rico]

Yeah, Chicken Chick.

[Kyle]

You're saying the chicken that crossed the road on the wrong side of the road.

[Brandon]

Did they hit a car? Because I heard they hit like somebody podcasting, drinking wine. I heard they obliterated her, dude. Is that what they hit? They were studying.

[Rico]

How would you just. How would you.

[Brandon]

And got a blitz like four cartwheels in the air.

[Rico]

How would you describe the crash? I'd say loud and complicit.

[Brandon]

Okay. Subtle. Subtle. Rico, you're an.

[Rico]

You're a. He led you into you pile drive. Somebody. I jump on the pile. It's like, flag him, flag him off, man.

[Jerry]

Off, Off How?

[Rico]

I'll play with you.

[Dana]

Yeah, Rico, you're one of them.

[Rico]

I won't play with you anymore. How are you, scumbag?

[Brandon]

How would you describe the person in one word? Maybe?

[Jerry]

Liz.

[Rico]

No, you're a scumbag. You're a scumbag. You're a scumbag. Scumbag, Scumbag.

[Dana]

This reminds me of someone on the wrong side of the road. Maybe it's the chicken who crossed the road.

[Rico]

You're a scumbag. It's a dirty rotten scumbag.

[Brandon]

No matter what you said.

[Rico]

I think I would have done that.

[Kyle]

That was

[Jerry]

obviously.

[Brandon]

Wait, is that Quig's editing? Look how fast he's going.

[Jerry]

Obviously you don't. You never want to get in a car accident, but this might end up being really good for them.

[Rico]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, I think so too.

[Jerry]

This is the type of stuff you get when you go out and make videos with each other. And this could propel them a little bit.

[TJ]

What happens when you total a rental?

[Unidentified Female]

Nikki Numbers ran by it this morning. It was just still there.

[Brandon]

Still there?

[Unidentified Female]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Wait, Nikki Numbers, they flew out.

[Brandon]

Nicky Numbers and. Yeah, I'm passing. Is Nicky Numbers Jerry's brother or something? They have the same voice back in this. But Bang Job by National never picking up the car show. Yeah, we're still, we're still chilling on the side of the road here.

[Rico]

I mean, that's. Police got it taped off.

[Brandon]

I don't know if that's a half ass tape job. Yeah, Bang Job by the police too.

[Kyle]

But yeah, they were just out in the fucking country. I mean, listen, I thought they would be in the city, you know, there was some confusion, but they're just out in the. In the wide open spaces. What did they hit a car? Oh, I think it was a head on collision. Correct?

[Brandon]

Yes, head on there.

[Dana]

There's not staying in a city, right?

[Brandon]

They're in Birmingham, but like on an estate Cruffenberry.

[Rico]

The video of Jerry texting Dave and everybody around them being like, dude, like stop.

[Kyle]

Like he's.

[Rico]

I'm just describing it. Head on collision.

[Brandon]

No, this is ultimately good for. For them.

[Jerry]

Oh yeah. What happens like legally here.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Jerry]

Is this. What's the other person doing?

[Brandon]

Right.

[Jerry]

They gotta have no idea.

[Rico]

None.

[Jerry]

Who anybody.

[Kyle]

I would be now right after Dave Portnoy tweets it. If you're.

[Rico]

Yeah, but like as big as Dave is some random fucking person in London.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I guess. I guess you're right.

[Rico]

But they got a lot of shit going on.

[Chase]

I do not know.

[Kyle]

It's a lot smaller space than you think. I think it makes the whole world smaller.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they just. Maybe they never even suspect or never. Never even put any dots together.

[Chase]

I do not know the answer to this. And Brandon, you'll remember this is a classic Fresh Prince episode. But is there a chance they decline the rental insurance? Credit cards offer it and like you're supposed.

[Jerry]

I think barstool.

[Kyle]

Barstool's already taken care of everything by the time you get to the counter, right?

[Jerry]

You think so?

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rico]

Rentals are like company rentals that shit.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Well, actually, when I walked in this morning, Caitlyn said, don't talk to me. I got knee deep in car rental stuff and I didn't even know what that meant until this exact moment. So I assume she's. She's taking.

[Rico]

She gets. I always feel bad, Colin, because she gets the worst. It's always like, hey, yeah.

[Brandon]

It's one of those jobs where if you're talking to her, you're not happy with the situation, you take it out on her.

[Kyle]

Yeah. She said you treat her poorly.

[Brandon]

No, but everybody does.

[Kyle]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jerry]

I disagree with you.

[Kyle]

That's how.

[Rico]

That's how you start

[Dana]

that laugh.

[Jerry]

There's pretty much. No.

[Kyle]

See the driver. You want to take that back? Take what back?

[Rico]

Because that's it.

[Kyle]

We're just throwing needles.

[Rico]

But that's over the line.

[Kyle]

Well, you didn't actually say it about Kayla or. She didn't say that. You treat her fine.

[Jerry]

This would me up.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it looks tight.

[Dana]

Yeah, it does.

[Kyle]

But they were on the road like you're Francis.

[Dana]

Oh, man.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that would me up.

[Rico]

Yeah, I can't do that. I could barely drive regularly.

[Kyle]

Do you get this? What?

[Brandon]

That's anxiety inducing.

[Kyle]

Get road rage.

[Dana]

Yeah, you have to.

[Rico]

I got trapped in high school.

[Kyle]

Huh.

[Rico]

I've definitely Told this story before, had a bad day.

[Kyle]

Oh, this is a setup.

[Rico]

Storm like that. Drive my parents minivan home with my two brothers and my buddies from Staten Island. Going from Bay Ridge back to Staten island, you got to take like a strip with a bunch of stop signs as you go through. It's Bay Ridge is very similar to New York City blocks. It's just more. A little more suburban. Anyway, we're driving. Lady in front of us is taking fucking forever. And we can't really get around there because everybody's going that way. It's a one lane thing on a street taking forever with beeping. We're beeping, we're beeping. Finally they pull over. We can get around them as we go by. I'm like, the finger out the thing, right? We drove home, didn't think anything of it. The next day, my buddy's dad, who is a. Was working security at the school. Wait till I'm coming down the hallway. And he's like, oh, the cars registered to them. Okay, thanks, thanks. Hangs up the phone. He's like, yo, did you. You guys like yell at somebody yesterday or give the finger to some lady on 69th and whatever? I'm like, yeah. He's like, yeah. They called the school. They described. They came to the school, filed like a complaint. It was a great minivan, like. So then we narrowed it down and. Oh, we ran the plates. That's what they said. They said they ran the plates. The lady came back, never ran the plates, but she just described the. The car.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Rico]

And they knew, okay, who's a psycho who drives the thing? And they knew it was me. And he just entrapped me to like, admit that I got in trouble with that. Then a couple like two years ago, this lady, what you were. What do you mean?

[Dana]

Sounds like you were loud and complicit.

[Rico]

Yeah, I was. Then boys.

[Jerry]

Just boys being.

[Rico]

A couple years ago. A couple years ago, I was two in. In front of the. Yeah, the light. And like I backed up and I have the rear view camera. As soon as I hit the back, I'm going like a mile an hour. This lady, like, hits the. The horn like she thought I was gonna crash into her. I stopped the car, get out and counted the feet in between the two cars. I was like, there's five feet. I see the camera, like, relax in the middle of a street. And she was like. Like, even I got. When I got back in the car, I was like, oh, this could end badly. So I've tried not to anymore.

[Kyle]

Was there A chicken on the road?

[Rico]

No, no chicken.

[Dana]

But yeah.

[Rico]

Yeah. I don't like driving at all. Yeah, I hate it.

[Brandon]

It's the worst. So that's ah.

[Jerry]

I like driving in non stressful areas.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Jerry]

Windows down.

[Kyle]

But not like you take relaxation rides.

[Jerry]

The back roads. We used to talk about that.

[Kyle]

Oh, I did. I used to do it every Sunday.

[Jerry]

No, but we. You gave me. Cuz you're like. You don't know back roads.

[Kyle]

That's true.

[Brandon]

You back gate kept. He has back roads.

[Kyle]

He don't know back roads.

[Jerry]

I don't think I know back roads.

[Kyle]

He don't know back roads.

[Jerry]

I think Mississippi back roads are back

[Kyle]

until you've got gravel going under your car.

[Rico]

And then Massachusetts has a back road.

[Dana]

Well, I mean West Virginia's got the best bath.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

We're weaving in between.

[Kyle]

You got mountainous back roads. Yeah, but like, hang on, Massachusetts.

[Jerry]

But I would call it back roads because it's like you'd see the water.

[Kyle]

Oh, that sounds. Instead of going back road, instead of

[Jerry]

going on the highway, you take the back roads.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I mean if you're. If you can see. If you can see ocean or bay. Yeah, that's the best. That's what an immaculate back road that is.

[Jerry]

Speaking of Massachusetts, I'm going back on the 10th to do a. I'm doing an hour presentation at my college.

[Kyle]

Really?

[Brandon]

An hour?

[Jerry]

I have to do a PowerPoint.

[Kyle]

To do what?

[Jerry]

Let me read it. What it's called.

[Kyle]

Are you Johnny do it. Are you inspired?

[Brandon]

Chef Donnie make it?

[Kyle]

He won't be back.

[Jerry]

It's like a real business thing and I'm kind of scared, but what's.

[Brandon]

What program is this for?

[Kyle]

I know you're the beers guy.

[Jerry]

It's called a business boot camp.

[Brandon]

What college?

[Jerry]

Stonehill College.

[Dana]

You're.

[Brandon]

You're doing an hour at the business boot camp.

[Dana]

Wait, these kids had to apply for boot camp?

[Jerry]

It's like, it's like a Friday afternoon. All these like college kids, business majors or whatever.

[Kyle]

You.

[Jerry]

You choose which classes you want to go. Here. Here is speaker. There's like five of us.

[Brandon]

Is this up online? Can we see what yours is called? Yeah. Tj, can you. What's it? The Stone College.

[Jerry]

Stone Hill. And so people, Stone Hill College Business boot camp.

[Brandon]

Did you sell it out?

[Jerry]

I don't know yet. We'll see. I don't know until I get there.

[Brandon]

And what is this?

[Jerry]

What do you mean what is this?

[Brandon]

When is it? When is it? I'm sorry.

[Jerry]

Next Friday.

[Brandon]

Do you have your PowerPoint made?

[Jerry]

No, I'm starting it this weekend.

[Brandon]

Dana, that an hour is so long.

[Dana]

You got to use chat GBT or something.

[Jerry]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm at five. Just passed it.

[Kyle]

Who were the other. Go. Go.

[Jerry]

What Barcelona sports teaches us about modern leadership.

[Brandon]

Oh, no.

[Jerry]

And then if you go down.

[Brandon]

Wait.

[Jerry]

My headshot is. Yeah, wait.

[Rico]

Click his link.

[Kyle]

Click.

[Brandon]

Dana.

[Jerry]

Look at my picture. Isn't that awesome, dude?

[Kyle]

Dana Barone.

[Jerry]

Everyone else has a fucking awesome.

[Kyle]

Content creator and video producer at Barstool. With a deep passion for the digital media landscape, Dana has been working at barstool since 2017. It's helped produce many successful products under the media's umbrella, including the Barstool documentary series and the Coach prime documentary.

[Brandon]

They cherry picked your shit, Dan.

[Kyle]

A Massachusetts native, Barawi is a Stone Hill College alum who continues to regularly engage with the campus community.

[Jerry]

It's gonna be sick. I'm very excited. I've done. I've done Q and A's before on campus.

[Kyle]

You're on the same. That guy was an aerospace.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Who are the other guys?

[Kyle]

Look at it. Architect with multiple American Society for Quality Certifications to back it up.

[Jerry]

It's a good school.

[Rico]

I should have avoided. I went down this path when I

[Jerry]

went back to look at my picture compared to theirs. It's hilarious.

[Rico]

Serious John Dobson.

[Brandon]

But you.

[Jerry]

I'm telling you, I did a QA. Q A. I've done two PhD. Hundreds of people show up and it's fun. It's very fun.

[Dana]

Believe they'll have fun.

[Kyle]

The co founder of Rustic Marlin.

[Rico]

Oh, she's a good singer.

[Jerry]

Meghan Trainor. Is that her?

[Brandon]

No.

[Jerry]

Okay.

[Brandon]

I don't.

[Jerry]

I don't know what Megan trailer looks like.

[Brandon]

Scroll up. Do you think there's a chance that guy.

[Rico]

Guy's a.

[Jerry]

Guy's a cto.

[Rico]

He's a real Scott Wiener.

[Jerry]

Rico, stop.

[Rico]

He's a real.

[Brandon]

Are you gonna be able to meet Scott Wiener without laughing, Dana?

[Jerry]

Well, no. He said he's a real.

[Brandon]

All right, let's crack. Yeah. Are you gonna think of that when you meet Scott Wiener?

[Jerry]

Yeah. No. Shout out to Scott. These are all my.

[Kyle]

You wouldn't have thought of that if Rico hadn't said just now. You wouldn't put together Wiener.

[Jerry]

These are all my Hawk Tank.

[Brandon]

Hawk tank.

[Jerry]

I think these are judges for something.

[Kyle]

Is this. Is this a competition?

[Jerry]

I'm not part of the Hawk Tank.

[Kyle]

Are you gonna do a beer tweet?

[Jerry]

I mean, yeah, I'll do a beer tweet if they ask.

[Kyle]

Can I see Danish picture again?

[Jerry]

I they asked me for a headshot, and I just. I don't have it backwards hat. I'm number one, though. Look at that.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you are. It definitely didn't go in alphabetical order.

[Jerry]

I'm telling you, Brandon, most people are gonna sign up for me.

[Kyle]

B, C, D. L, M.

[Jerry]

Shout to the Skyhawks.

[Kyle]

Yeah, shout out Stone hill Skyhawks for D1.

[Jerry]

Now, that guy's got kind of like a cool look.

[Rico]

I didn't think that when I.

[Kyle]

New England Free Jacks when I did

[Rico]

that high school speech, I didn't think that was gonna make its wave back to, like.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that was stressful. Well, that.

[Dana]

Was that a basketball team or.

[Rico]

No, it was just a senior class. And then it was funny. I never met the principal of the school till, like, two weeks later. And he was like, hey, I want to introduce myself. And I was like, yeah. He's like, I didn't expect this. I was like, you got some. You got some pabos. Like, that's the Bosco business.

[Jerry]

Like, you know.

[Rico]

Next thing you know, your picture of a senior class is viral on the Internet.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Have you ever been asked to do anything like this?

[Kyle]

I really haven't.

[Rico]

You would.

[Brandon]

You're.

[Jerry]

Yeah, it's fun, dude. It's fun to, like, turn on a little professionality.

[Brandon]

One hour.

[Jerry]

I know. I think it's 40 minutes of presentation and then questions after.

[Brandon]

How many slides do you think that'll be?

[Jerry]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

And how do you keep it from getting stale?

[Jerry]

I might just be like, you guys can ask me questions for an hour.

[Kyle]

We do have a kind.

[Brandon]

So, like, do you think there are anybody. There's anybody that's in that class that is watching the yak right now?

[Jerry]

Probably a couple young. Youngins.

[Brandon]

Okay, so what if they asked you about what happened in that bog in front of everybody?

[Jerry]

I'd be like, what do you. What was that, Stonehill? I'd be like, let's go check it out.

[Brandon]

Oh, the scene of crimes.

[Dana]

They probably know about anyone.

[Jerry]

It's behind mariachis. Thursday night bar. Yeah, I'd go. I'd be like, hey, if you want. After this, you want to grab a beer and check it out?

[Dana]

I'm down and Scott Wieners in the background.

[Brandon]

Like, what's he talking? What's what? What happened in the box?

[Jerry]

I'm gonna laugh when I see with the weaned man.

[Brandon]

All right, practice a straight face, Kyle. Introduce yourself as Scott Wiener.

[Dana]

All right. And I'm Scott Wiener.

[Brandon]

Oh, no, he's not doing that.

[Jerry]

He's not doing.

[Kyle]

He's not saying his name.

[Jerry]

Scott Weiner.

[Brandon]

He's not going to pronounce his name.

[Kyle]

He's addressing a whole crowd of people.

[Jerry]

Well, she doesn'. He did it too dramatically.

[Kyle]

All right, do it very casually then, Kyle.

[Dana]

And I'm Scott Weiner.

[Jerry]

Hey, Scott. How are you? Nice to meet you. I'm Dana.

[Dana]

Yeah. Scott Wiener.

[Jerry]

Nice to meet you.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Dana]

And your name is? Sorry, I'm horrible.

[Jerry]

Dana. Dana Barawi, AKA Dana Beers.

[Brandon]

Barawi. That's an interesting last name.

[Jerry]

I'm not gonna say that.

[Dana]

All right, again, I'm Scott Wiener, just in case you forgot, because I know I'm bad with name.

[Jerry]

All right. Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

Barahi. Where's that from? Is that. What's that last name? Origin?

[Jerry]

Egyptian.

[Brandon]

And do you want to ask Mr. Wiener the origin of. Where's Wiener from? What's the origin?

[Jerry]

Dude, you guys are me now. I'm gonna be. I'm not even gonna be able to meet.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you definitely wouldn't laugh without us there.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you're right.

[Rico]

I know how to.

[Jerry]

I know when to turn it on and off. At a. At a call.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

But if it's a strange place.

[Kyle]

Her name is Wiener. You turn it on.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[TJ]

You hear Wiener say, I go by Dana Beers because I like drinking beers. Do you go by.

[Brandon]

Yeah,

[Jerry]

that would be nice.

[Dana]

So Barbie, Egyptian.

[TJ]

Nice.

[Rico]

Yeah, man, nice.

[Brandon]

Return the favor.

[TJ]

Verdana, would you pay the 10 GS to change your name if your name was Scott Wieners?

[Jerry]

Can we not do this to Scott Wiener? He's a nice guy.

[Kyle]

He seems like a hell of a guy.

[Brandon]

Sure, he's a hell of a guy.

[TJ]

Dealt a bad name.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but Wiener's a tough one.

[Jerry]

You'll be Wiener or Winky.

[Brandon]

Winky Wieners. At least it could be big. Winkies can't be big.

[Rico]

My dad worked with a guy. His. I think it was Timmy Hiscock.

[Brandon]

His name's His Cock.

[Rico]

Yeah, and then when he left the company, they were like, I guess we rubbed his the wrong way.

[TJ]

You don't even need Nick.

[Rico]

My sister.

[Jerry]

It's classic.

[Rico]

Went to a school with a girl whose last name was Hiscock. I think her first name was Jessica. So when you say it fast, not great.

[Brandon]

Jessica is Suck his cock.

[Kyle]

Just sucker. His cock. Just sucker.

[Rico]

It's a tough one.

[Kyle]

I mean, you're really having to slow that down to suck a Hiscock once you.

[Rico]

Once you hear it.

[Brandon]

I mean, if your last name's his cock, you don't even need to.

[TJ]

Jessica. His Cock.

[Kyle]

We had some bad cocks. So we never. I've never heard of a Hiscock.

[Brandon]

We had a ton of boners.

[Kyle]

Boners?

[Brandon]

Yeah, we had a ton of boners.

[Dana]

Yeah, with an A.

[Brandon]

A. R. But pronounced boner.

[Rico]

Boner was a prominent character on Growing Pains. Growing Pains, Why was that?

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[Rico]

Just back then boners were encouraged.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Now they've cut it out.

[Brandon]

They have, they really have.

[Rico]

Thanks a lot, Rico.

[Brandon]

Is it Biden's fault?

[Rico]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

That they cut out boners?

[Rico]

Yeah, whatever.

[Kyle]

You're dressed really nice today and I want to compliment your appearance.

[Rico]

Thank you.

[Jerry]

How about Bosco coming in for one stream, going back for another stream, then coming back for another.

[Kyle]

Guy's a workhorse.

[Brandon]

You keeping the miles?

[Rico]

Yeah, I keep the mile.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Rico]

Just like to save them up. But no, before Brandon like threw that out there, I was saying, I do think Caitlyn's got to deal with a bunch of like, brutal calls.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, I'm sure she does, but she, she does. I think most people, I think everybody here treats her. Treats her well, we understand she's a

[Brandon]

nervous wreck all the time.

[Kyle]

That's the walker in her, is that

[Rico]

she's got 15 year old Steve on there. It's a good team.

[Jerry]

Yeah, she's.

[Rico]

And they. And they fucking handle things like, unbelievably so.

[Jerry]

I would always send her stuff to print for me. And I just found out today I can print from my laptop.

[Brandon]

You have printer access?

[Kyle]

I do. When you said I would always send her stuff, I thought you mean you would be like on the plane on the way here, you need to print it to her. You're just talking about from your desk. You would say, caitlin, print this for me.

[Jerry]

I would text her like, hey, if I email you something, can you print it for me? And then I looked today and I was like, oh, I have access. I can do that myself.

[Rico]

Why is the office. I don't know how many of you worked in offices. The office printer, though, at all times was like trying to operate a. Yeah,

[Brandon]

I can't do it. Can't figure it out.

[Rico]

You would. The people would walk down the hall to make copies or something. Then you'd like, look and they'd be like, is it good? Like, it's like, nah, it's up. Like, I don't know, it just never worked. Who knows?

[Dana]

It's never advanced. Yeah, but that and audio.

[Unidentified Female]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Rico]

What do you guys think about the game?

[Kyle]

I think if. I think Michigan's one of the best teams in the country. But if you were giving me my choice of four seeds throughout the years, I think this Alabama would be one. I would. I would lean towards Titus said it on tv.

[Rico]

It's going to shoot. It's going to sound stupid. Like point spreads don't really matter at Alabama.

[Kyle]

No, it could be. If they're hot, they can win by 15. If they're cold and don't play defense, they can lose about 20, no problem.

[Rico]

It just doesn't matter. Yeah. Like it. You could. You've raised the line to 15. At this point, it doesn't matter. They're. They either have it that night or they don't.

[Brandon]

Has coach wished you good luck?

[Kyle]

Is he.

[Jerry]

I'll take that as Rico talk about it.

[Rico]

Yeah. I checked in with the boys this morning.

[Brandon]

Do you feel like with such a heavy thing, do you think he'll think about that at all during the game?

[TJ]

Jeff's lost some weight.

[Rico]

You said such a thing. Oh, yeah. I think he'll.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Rico]

I think he's dialed.

[Kyle]

Let me ask it like this. Let's say tomorrow night Alabama wins, right? And you've just doubled your salary for 10 years. But then NATO goes in the post game interview and said, that was for my boy Rico Bosco, 10 years from now. Do you remember that as the night you won the bet or the night Nate Oates shouted you out?

[Rico]

He already has shouted me out. Do you. Do you forget last year they asked him about the bus?

[Kyle]

I guess I did.

[Rico]

And they said, hey, if you win a national championship, does Rico get a ring? He goes, rico's my guy. He would absolutely get a ring.

[Kyle]

I did forget about that and I apologize for that.

[Dana]

Them.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

So.

[Kyle]

So you've already got your shout outs. You don't need another one. Yeah. Okay.

[Rico]

That's my guy.

[TJ]

Have you had to do any behind the scenes planning with your potential future

[Kyle]

co host partner yet? You had to hide any murder weapons for the team?

[Rico]

No.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Rico]

No, that's. Cut that out. No, I think there'll be. If the pod goes, I think there'll be a third party who handles all the text.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

In my opinion, there'll be no group chat.

[Kyle]

Lucas is the producer, right?

[Rico]

I guess. I don't know, but whatever.

[Kyle]

How's. How's that. And how's that enemy going? Because he seems to have been really taking it to you over recent weeks.

[Rico]

Yeah, it's frustrating because I didn't really give a about him before.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Rico]

It was a small little thing like, I don't know, Danny, you've been around me a long period of time. In the terms of, like, me getting worked up. Where would you put that? Like a one and a half?

[Jerry]

On the. On the dug Dug.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Yeah. It wasn't bad.

[Rico]

It's like a one and a half so now. But that's how it works. Like, I'm the economy.

[Jerry]

But I was seeing your. Probably gonna have to talk about it. You're saying what your phone was. It was. I would have. I would have been going nuclear.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Rico]

I handle that pretty well.

[Jerry]

A lot of phone calls.

[Kyle]

Good for you. So.

[Rico]

But anyway, yeah, it's frustrating because it's like, now it's a way into the orbit and, like, I didn't really care about it before. I did say, like, just make it go away, but that's. Whatever. He's just living off of it.

[Kyle]

So it is what it is.

[Brandon]

But can we try to book Scott Wiener for today?

[Dana]

Maybe just practice with the actual after?

[Jerry]

Let him be.

[Brandon]

Reach out and try to.

[Jerry]

I should have never even said anything.

[Kyle]

He's.

[Brandon]

He.

[Jerry]

I hope he can. I hope he can take a joke. What if he can't?

[Brandon]

If you're. Grow up, Wiener.

[Kyle]

He knows how to take a joke. He had. He went to college. He had. He went to high school. He's got boys.

[Jerry]

What if I get there and he's like, I heard what your boys were

[Kyle]

saying, what you said.

[Jerry]

And then I'm all, it's an awkward six hours.

[Kyle]

That's a long, awkward time.

[Brandon]

But, like, is he going to be sitting while. While you're presenting?

[Jerry]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

You're going to be staring at your. Staring at your PowerPoint people.

[Jerry]

Students choose to go in. In different classrooms.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

When is this?

[Jerry]

Next Friday. Not the 10th. 10th April.

[Brandon]

Will this be filmed.

[Jerry]

No, this is. Stop. What are you doing a side eye for? You just looked at him. You did. You gave Brand the side eye.

[Kyle]

I think he was just react. I think he was just. His head was doing normal head things.

[Jerry]

This is.

[Kyle]

Come on.

[Jerry]

This is cool for me.

[Brandon]

It's very cool.

[Jerry]

Let's not.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Jerry]

We're all.

[Kyle]

We won't. We won't make it a thing.

[Jerry]

Thank you.

[Brandon]

I'm happy you're doing this. I'm proud of you.

[Kyle]

You know where I'm. You know where I'm going in a couple weeks?

[Brandon]

Where you gone?

[Kyle]

The wiener dog race.

[Jerry]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I'm the.

[Jerry]

I have a wiener dog.

[Kyle]

The starfle wiener dog race. So if you want to go there. I was gonna say if mine was before Yours. You could go to the wiener dog race.

[Jerry]

Do you have a wiener dog?

[Kyle]

I don't. But I am the grand Marshal of the 2026 Biggest Wiener Dog race in America.

[Brandon]

Marshall or wizard grand marshal?

[Kyle]

Grand Marshall.

[Brandon]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, That'll be fun.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And have you practiced how you're gonna open that up or.

[Kyle]

Don't even know what I have to do. I think I might just be wearing a wiener hat or something.

[Brandon]

So Dana is presenting at universities and you are the grand marshal of the wiener dog race.

[Kyle]

Sounds like I win that one, Nick.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

I also have good cholesterol, and KB doesn't.

[Brandon]

You are an anomaly.

[Dana]

That's true.

[Kyle]

That was a pivot.

[Brandon]

Everything's coming up beers.

[Jerry]

Sorry, Kyle.

[Dana]

No, that's true.

[Jerry]

Made me think of that.

[Dana]

Cheetos is a Pepsi product.

[Brandon]

That's a fun fact. Is it?

[Kyle]

Actually, a lot of things are Pepsi products, aren't they?

[Brandon]

Does Cheetos own Frito Lay? Does. Does Fritos Frito Lay?

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[Rico]

All right. I gotta move some flights around. I got some problems going on right now. But it was great hour with you guys.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Let's go.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Kyle]

No, no, no, no, no. What do you have to do?

[Rico]

Well, Dana's tech set off something else that. Yeah, we got.

[Jerry]

There's an event next week that is canceled.

[Rico]

Right. So I got them. And then I'm looking at the list and it's. There's somebody supposed to book me somewhere else and they booked me somewhere wrong. I got to go deal with that.

[Kyle]

You got to go yell at Caitlyn,

[Rico]

dude, you're going to start that and then I'm going to start some rico.

[Jerry]

That was a joke.

[Rico]

Yeah, but it's. There's over the cuz like you've never.

[Kyle]

You don't yell at Caitlyn. I'm just, I'm just, just don't start now.

[Rico]

Okay?

[Kyle]

Okay. All right. All right. I, I, I feel it. Caitlyn. It's fine.

[Brandon]

Now would be the per time to yell at her because nobody would believe it.

[Kyle]

She was running when I was.

[Brandon]

When I was go scream at yes.

[Kyle]

When I was.

[Brandon]

Nobody will believe it.

[Kyle]

She was running on my treadmill and whatever. All right.

[Rico]

Good hour. Anybody who's. You're in for Alabama. Yeah, you're in fellow.

[Kyle]

Obviously it doesn't matter who anybody roots for. You win regardless. But I would like nice to win. I think the more entertaining option here is you winning. Yes.

[Rico]

I'd like to be the bell of the ball at the final four again. That'd be a tree.

[Brandon]

Do you like being the center of attention?

[Rico]

It depends.

[Kyle]

No, it does.

[Brandon]

When it's good stuff.

[Rico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon]

I appreciate the.

[Jerry]

Who doesn't.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

Stuff. So it's. I know you can win this bet. Is the. Is the bus bet still.

[Rico]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

So you could win this bet, be on top of the world and then. And then St. John's goes around 4. You still got to bust to the final four.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Which is New York to Indy was a lot better than New York to do, you feel.

[Brandon]

One more question for me. If. If Alabama wins and your salary is doubled, does that put a bigger target on your back from Dave?

[Rico]

Probably.

[Brandon]

Is there a chance your life gets worse?

[Rico]

Probably. But I mean, he. He thought of it. I didn't bring it up. Sure. It's not like I was pestering him for 10 years.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Like. Like. Or for that bet, so to speak. Like, whatever. I didn't bring it up. He brought it up. That's why these content, you know, he knows what he's doing. But yeah, probably. It's probably a target because I think every time those checks go out, he's probably getting more and more mad. But whatever.

[Jerry]

Is there any.

[Rico]

I think. Yeah.

[Jerry]

Stipulations with if you don't make it 10 years?

[Rico]

No, I probably should put that in before I sign.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Put it on the roommates.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Why would I not make it 10 years?

[Jerry]

I don't know. I'm just saying maybe you.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

That sounds like somebody rooting for Michigan. No, I'm not.

[Kyle]

I was like, somebody rooting for a lot of.

[Jerry]

You know, I'm a RICO guy.

[Dana]

I know.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Rico]

But it's a possibility I won't make it 10 years.

[Jerry]

So I'm not saying, like, die or anything out there.

[Kyle]

I think he's saying getting yourself fired by attacking a co worker.

[Rico]

Yeah, I haven't done that.

[Kyle]

Oh, me either.

[Rico]

In a while.

[Brandon]

In a while.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Rico]

I mean, there was the thing last year with the I attack. Yeah. Kind of.

[Kyle]

Like, I do like the guy I

[Rico]

gave a little, like, stunt.

[Kyle]

I do like the fact that the. The. The guy that you did throw the can at. You guys are just friends, right? Yeah.

[Rico]

That was horrible.

[Kyle]

Guys like each other.

[Rico]

That was. That was that. He didn't do a damn thing wrong.

[Kyle]

You guys get along though, right?

[Rico]

Yeah, he didn't. He didn't do anything wrong. That's how, you know I was fucked up. I needed help. So. Yeah, you got a bottom out to build yourself back up.

[Kyle]

Agreed. But a huge salary from what I've heard a huge salary isn't. Isn't the answer to everything, Rico. So we still gotta. Still gotta be.

[Rico]

Makes a lot easier though.

[Kyle]

It really does.

[Brandon]

I mean, if you're making. If you double your salary, you could buy your mom a house. She could move out of it as soon as she moves in.

[Rico]

I would buy a lot of underwear.

[Brandon]

Underwear, huh? For yourself?

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Right away. You want like a different pair every day.

[Rico]

That's the goal. That'd be the first thing I did. If I hit the lottery.

[Brandon]

Would you buy three like a year. 65 years worth of money. You've long said that.

[Rico]

Into underwear and socks. I really do.

[Kyle]

You'd buy 365 pair of underwear so you don't have to. No. Reuse. 100 disposable underwear. Is your. Is your thought of be the first

[Rico]

thing I do 100.

[TJ]

A laundry thing you don't like?

[Rico]

Yeah, I just. Just like, why not?

[Kyle]

You have a front loader?

[Rico]

No, I got. They. They make these things to break now.

[Brandon]

Yeah, they do.

[Kyle]

They make a lot of things to break.

[Rico]

And there's one appliance guy left in the whole world who like fixes things.

[Dana]

They make what to break?

[Rico]

You don't even want to do the.

[Kyle]

Everything.

[Jerry]

Every tech.

[Brandon]

Every new tech is made to break land obsolescent underwear.

[Rico]

Brutal. So.

[Jerry]

But.

[Kyle]

All right. Go.

[Rico]

All right. Let me go handle this.

[Kyle]

All right. Coming back.

[Rico]

Are you back tonight?

[Kyle]

Yeah. Right. Okay.

[Brandon]

Oh.

[Kyle]

All right. Well, just.

[Dana]

Here we go.

[Kyle]

Give me a Wrigley hot dog. Just give me. Give me a collector's cup.

[Dana]

Yeah. Is there anyone looked into this? Tj.

[Rico]

What do we.

[Dana]

It's illegal, but it's happen.

[Unidentified Female]

Yeah, that's why, like, your. Your phone might stop working after like 1.75 years when your contract is 2 years.

[Jerry]

Is there anyone around that could be. Sit in. I have a meeting.

[Brandon]

Let's go to the cameras.

[Kyle]

Yeah, let's. Let's. I think it's pretty. Well, there's. Yep. Yep. Maybe the upstairs and see what we got up.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Mintz is not there. I bet this is bad.

[Brandon]

It's. I'm phenomenally jealous.

[Kyle]

Unbelievably jealous.

[Jerry]

Let me see if I can move some around.

[Brandon]

No, it's.

[Dana]

It's.

[Kyle]

How long's the meeting? Why don't you go to the meeting? Come back.

[Jerry]

No, no, no.

[Kyle]

I just have the meeting here.

[TJ]

I could sit in, but I will need to get up soon.

[Unidentified Female]

Skiing's got pulled, by the way.

[Brandon]

I know.

[Kyle]

What.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dana]

What does that mean?

[Kyle]

Pulled in the game or Pulled from the start.

[Brandon]

He got shelled.

[Dana]

Scheme.

[Brandon]

But it seems to be o' Neill Cruz's fault. It's.

[Jerry]

It's.

[Kyle]

Oh, I was going to. Damn it.

[Jerry]

Cones are pirates.

[Brandon]

Your number one West Virginia Mountaineers are my number one.

[Kyle]

I was gonna bet Soto to homer. He didn't. Home.

[Brandon]

I ordered pierogies to the office, and Nick didn't help.

[Jerry]

I'm a sauerkraut guy. Potato guy. I didn't like it.

[Brandon]

You didn't like the pierogi, which is surprising.

[Jerry]

Yeah, I thought I was gonna love it.

[Dana]

Extremely.

[Brandon]

Was that your first pierogi?

[Jerry]

Yeah. I should have done a video.

[Brandon]

I was just thinking.

[Jerry]

Yeah, can't do it now. Damn.

[Brandon]

Yeah. You're an honest man.

[Dana]

No.

[Kyle]

Oh, dude.

[Brandon]

No.

[Chase]

Do you.

[Brandon]

My second pierogi.

[Jerry]

I don't know what it was. It was kind of bland.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's just a lot of, like, beige.

[Jerry]

Yeah, a lot of. Just, like.

[Dana]

Really?

[Jerry]

I like sauerkraut.

[Kyle]

He didn't get on the first inning.

[Dana]

Sauerkraut isn't. Wait, Skins.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Five. Five.

[Kyle]

Five runs in the first.

[Dana]

What do you give up?

[Brandon]

Five runs?

[Unidentified Female]

World Baseball Classing might be ruined.

[Dana]

Do we still hoist, or is it.

[Brandon]

I don't know what?

[Kyle]

You got to still be hoisting with hoist.

[Dana]

I think we can't stop hoisting.

[Kyle]

You hoist until you get him back.

[Dana]

Are there. Where's the game at?

[Kyle]

New York Mets.

[Dana]

Did the Pirates send a contingent?

[Brandon]

I don't know if there's any hoisting going on there.

[Rico]

At a hoist.

[Kyle]

You can't hoist in Queens.

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

It's not a good hoisting environment.

[Brandon]

No, no, no, man.

[Jerry]

Dude, there's a guy. I sent you Nick, on Instagram a while ago at pnc. Remember that guy called pnc?

[Brandon]

PNC Park?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

What's the guy who was drinking a beer and he had a cool. I liked his voice. We got to get that guy up.

[Brandon]

You sent it to me.

[Kyle]

A guy who was a pnc part.

[Jerry]

I want to meet this guy. Hold on.

[Kyle]

And you like his voice in our Instagram dms?

[Jerry]

Let me find it. I'll send it to you.

[Kyle]

Did he, like, DM you guys from PNC and, like, sent you a video? Say, hey, I'm a pnc. I have a good voice.

[Jerry]

No, it's not on there anymore. Shit.

[Kyle]

This is good. Good topic. This is good podcasting, man.

[Jerry]

Hold on.

[Kyle]

Dude, I hope the meeting is how not to ruin a fucking episode.

[Jerry]

Dude, there's a guy at pnc who like drinks beers at the the vendors.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I feel like I'm talking to Kate now.

[Jerry]

And I said, this is the most Pittsburgh guy I've ever seen in my life. And you said you loved them. Sorry I up.

[Kyle]

God damn it.

[Jerry]

A bad it was.

[Kyle]

I don't do this around wiener.

[Brandon]

I know you can't do this on a wiener.

[Jerry]

I can't. My bad.

[Dana]

Ever your name is again? Sorry, I'm horrible with names.

[Brandon]

And mine is Scott Weiner. Pronounced Wiener. Like the penis.

[TJ]

Oh, you're screwed.

[Brandon]

Like every man's penis.

[Jerry]

Imagine he said that.

[Dana]

And yeah, again, I'm Scott Wiener, pronounced

[Brandon]

as it's red Wiener.

[Jerry]

Come on, dude, don't do this. I'm gonna laugh My ass.

[Brandon]

Mr. Wiener was my father. Call me Scott or Wiens.

[Jerry]

I'm trying to find this guy.

[Rico]

Hold on.

[Jerry]

Oh, I got it.

[Brandon]

S Wiener.

[Jerry]

Go daddy. Come on, dude.

[Brandon]

Doe daddy.

[Jerry]

You don't remember this guy?

[Brandon]

No. Did I respond to you?

[Jerry]

Yes. You love them.

[TJ]

What was so special about him?

[Jerry]

Santa tj right now I said, can we hang out with this guy? You said let's fly there.

[Brandon]

Now that sounds like something I'd say.

[Jerry]

Sounds you're gonna love. You guys are gonna love this video. I guarantee it. I just sent to tj.

[TJ]

All right, drum roll. What makes a guy very Pittsburgh? Just the accent.

[Rico]

You'll see.

[TJ]

Okay, nice.

[Brandon]

Almost there. Almost the clear beers.

[Kyle]

Oh yeah.

[Brandon]

Drinking a refreshing Doe daddy brewery hazy dodaisy. If you haven't had our beer, stop on down to the brewery bar. Try it out. Watch the buckos hit some home runs into the river.

[Kyle]

Have a good time. Perry boat.

[Jerry]

Yeah, love the great see, check them out. Perry backwards.

[TJ]

Oh yeah.

[Brandon]

Maybe couldn't wear a branded shirt in the video. Beautiful. PNC Park. Drinking a refreshing dodaddy brewery hazy dough Daisy quarters stop on down to the Fatheads brewery bar. Try it out. Watch the buckos hit some home runs into the river.

[Jerry]

I love that guy. Dude, I love them.

[TJ]

The accident really kicks in at the end of the buckeyes.

[Jerry]

See, that was worth

[Dana]

was I got laughed out of a Pittsburgh meet and greet bar for wearing too nice of clothes.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Cleveland. Yeah. It was so embarrassing.

[Rico]

What were you wearing?

[Brandon]

Yeah, what was.

[Dana]

I was wearing like a. Like one of like a waffle knit polo with a leather jacket that's too nice for the ballet. Yeah, no, yeah, they wear. The dress code is just wear like Pittsburgh Pirate Steelers or pit panthers. Dry fit and jeans.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you can't go nicer than that at all. Is Brandon done too?

[TJ]

He was Taking a phone call.

[Jerry]

That reminds me, what should I wear

[Brandon]

to when you present?

[Jerry]

To meet me? To meet Wiens.

[Brandon]

Big wiener.

[Jerry]

Is that like a. Is that a suit? A suit jacket.

[TJ]

Opportunity Zillion beer shirt.

[Jerry]

Just really buy into it.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Ah, button down for sure.

[Kyle]

Quarter zip over.

[Brandon]

I don't know. I think you could do a tie, but like a fun tie. Like a Bearcats tie.

[Jerry]

I'm not a fun.

[Kyle]

Or a beer. A beer glass tie.

[Brandon]

Nice. Some Bearcats gear.

[Jerry]

Listen, if Stonehill. If Stonehill was more of a national brand.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

I think I'd be all. I'd be all in.

[Brandon]

Be yourself. That's probably what. That's what they want. That's why they. They reached out to you.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Via, like, email.

[Jerry]

Yep.

[Brandon]

That's a cool opportunity.

[Jerry]

I've done. I've done this professor's class like five times via zoom and then once in person.

[Brandon]

Wait, you've zoomed into this guy's class?

[Jerry]

Yeah. And I've done like an hour of.

[Brandon]

Yeah. What do they. What are some of the questions that they asked you last time?

[Jerry]

The last time was a lot of

[Brandon]

inside jokes that they asked that the kids asked.

[Rico]

Like what?

[Jerry]

There are some butt chug questions.

[TJ]

Do you feel the need to bring beer with you there?

[Jerry]

No.

[TJ]

Inevitably going to get asked beer again.

[Jerry]

I think I can. I know the level of professionality.

[Rico]

And not go to the beer.

[Jerry]

Yeah, yeah.

[TJ]

One of the slides should be a beer slide, though.

[Jerry]

It'll be a beer slide.

[Brandon]

Is there a slide that's going to be about handling natural disasters?

[Kyle]

Emergency response.

[Brandon]

Emergency response.

[Kyle]

It's you in a FEMA jacket with a beer tap. What bush should have done.

[Brandon]

Can you send us your PowerPoint when it's done? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

That makes sense.

[Jerry]

It's gonna be boring because it's gonna be, like, legitimate.

[Unidentified Female]

If anybody going to this event.

[Kyle]

Huh.

[Unidentified Female]

Is watching the show. You don't. Don't hit me up in the DMs.

[Jerry]

And it's not gonna be funny. It's gonna be like. I'm gonna take it very seriously.

[Kyle]

But that kind of might make it funny. Right.

[Brandon]

Do you want to do a test run of the presentation to us?

[Jerry]

No.

[Kyle]

Okay. Has West Virginia ever asked you to do anything?

[Brandon]

They've never acknowledged me once for anything really, Ever, Ever.

[Jerry]

It's a big school, though.

[Unidentified Female]

I've talked to classes.

[Kyle]

You've talked to classes at Rutgers?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Like fun.

[Unidentified Female]

Dude that I used to have would reach on me like, you went to school for media, now you're in media. You want to talk to the students.

[Jerry]

It is very fun.

[Brandon]

I'd go back in a heartbeat.

[Kyle]

I love that school.

[Dana]

Never do that.

[TJ]

Is the teacher a boss you fan, Dana?

[Dana]

Why? I don't think it's fun for me.

[Jerry]

He like knows of.

[Dana]

He.

[Jerry]

Yeah, kinda.

[Kyle]

He knows Dave.

[Jerry]

He's like 50ish, 60.

[Kyle]

He hates Barstool, but he loves green gray.

[Jerry]

He. He's the man. Shout out. Professor McGinnis.

[Kyle]

You should take green.

[Brandon]

Greg, Dana Beers and Professor McGinnis.

[Jerry]

Dude, The. The best part is all. All of my friends, my friend group were like business majors and they're like, what the fuck, dude? Get a two, three. Mediated communication.

[Brandon]

Dana with Guinness and Weiner is all you talk about. Those are your two things. And you're finally branching out with Guinness and Wiener.

[Dana]

Mick Guinness.

[Brandon]

Split the patty. It's McDonald's and beer with Wiener.

[Dana]

Split the beef patty.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You're trying to get that middle piece of bread in a Big Mac.

[Dana]

And again, I'm Scott Wiener.

[Jerry]

If you guys are watching, I'm very excited. This is all. This is a comedy show,

[Brandon]

Professor McGinnis. You're going to crush.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you're going to. You're going to kill it.

[Jerry]

I like public speaking.

[Brandon]

This is your first presentation in person to the class though.

[Jerry]

A second. This is like different. I've done one like Q A.

[Kyle]

But how far along in your career were you when you did that?

[Jerry]

That was two years.

[Kyle]

Two or three years ago. It's fair to say you've. You've come a long way since two years ago, right?

[Jerry]

I guess.

[Kyle]

I mean, you were in good shape. Sorry, my bad. Yeah, you know what? Never mind. I moved here, got married. Yeah, you're a different man now.

[Jerry]

A dog.

[Kyle]

You put. You're putting a lot of emphasis on that dog. Like you've, like.

[Jerry]

That's a big step in life, dude.

[Brandon]

It hasn't even gotten hard yet. I bet. Is it just sleeping?

[Jerry]

Oh, he was humping me for the first time last night.

[Brandon]

No kidding?

[Jerry]

Yeah. You're talking about the dick.

[Kyle]

Huh?

[Dana]

Oh, he's talking about the dick.

[Brandon]

Wait, so I said it hasn't gotten hard yet. And you thought about your puppy's erection.

[Jerry]

What are you talking about?

[Brandon]

Just like the act of having a dog.

[Kyle]

The difficulty of having a dog.

[Jerry]

Not. Not.

[Kyle]

Has your puppy's dick gotten erect yet?

[Dana]

I can't believe that happened.

[Brandon]

That is horribly.

[Dana]

I thought you were maybe playing into it.

[Jerry]

Oh, no, no.

[Brandon]

Oh, you're talking about his car.

[Unidentified Female]

The last three times you talked him about his dog, it has been about penis.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I Guess.

[Dana]

Kind of enough.

[Jerry]

You said, has it gotten hard?

[Brandon]

It hasn't even gotten hard yet.

[Kyle]

Right? Raise it the dog.

[Jerry]

All right.

[Brandon]

I said, it hasn't even gotten hard yet. It's probably just sleeping all the time.

[Jerry]

I can't explain why my brain.

[TJ]

It was all the wiener talk.

[Dana]

Yeah, yeah, wiener.

[Jerry]

Nobody did hump my arm.

[Brandon]

Oh, the contraire, Nick. It has gotten hard for the first time last night.

[Dana]

And is humping imply an erection? Like.

[Brandon]

No.

[Jerry]

No.

[Kyle]

I think it's erection practice for a puppy.

[Jerry]

Yeah. You can get it. I don't think you can get a boner as a puppy.

[Kyle]

Probably. I don't know.

[Dana]

God.

[Jerry]

15 weeks old.

[Kyle]

I sat and. I sat and watched muskrats last night.

[Brandon]

You watched muskrats?

[Dana]

But, yeah, no one's ever seen muskrats.

[Kyle]

I was sitting on muskrats or nutria, whatever, I. In my lake. Or groundhogs that swim. I got four of them, and they were around their den. And I'm sitting on the dock, and they're just coming in and out. And one will come in, try to fuck, and the other dude will chase him out. And then. Then the one muskrat would chase the other one and start fucking in the water. They were just fucking right in the water. So it wasn't. They were trying to be private or nothing. So I just watched 4 Muskrats. Otter. Not otters.

[TJ]

I was gonna say groundhogs that swim. Are you thinking of a beaver?

[Kyle]

No, that would be a beaver. I know what a beaver is. I think it's a muskrat.

[TJ]

I don't think I've ever seen one.

[Jerry]

Yeah. I couldn't tell you what a muskrat looks like.

[Kyle]

It looks like a rat that swims.

[Jerry]

Really?

[Kyle]

Yeah, otters.

[Brandon]

Backyard used to have a ton of them.

[Kyle]

Otters are long and slender and sleek. Beavers have the tail and the teeth. And this is just. This, just like an oversized rat. That's. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, they're not bad.

[Jerry]

I like them.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's got a back.

[Kyle]

That's exactly what I saw. Yeah. That one. That one there, swimming with his tail. There were four of them, just. And I always thought there was one that lived under my dock.

[Jerry]

Were they.

[Kyle]

But there were four.

[Jerry]

Were they getting after it?

[Kyle]

They were getting after it, Dana. They were swimming. They were swimming out. And then when. When. When one would swim out, another would swim in, try to get the pussy. And then the.

[Rico]

At.

[Kyle]

One would circle back, say, ah, get away from me. You're not getting that pussy. And then it was. It was. I think it's mating season.

[Jerry]

Sounds kind of.

[Dana]

It looked really fun to throw a muskrat.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I could have seen that. I don't. They weren't as big as that one appeared to be. It would have been more like instead of throwing a football and more like, you know, the plastic footballs cheerleaders throw when a high school team touchdown. Yeah, it would have been throwing one of those.

[Brandon]

Interesting.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Was it a river otter?

[Kyle]

It wasn't a river otter. Otters are sleek and narrow. Yeah, this was. This was more. Not sleek and not narrow.

[Brandon]

Interesting.

[Kyle]

And I was elite at catching those plastic footballs from cheerleaders. Just want everybody.

[Dana]

I think they did that at our place.

[Kyle]

They didn't do that. Is that a south thing?

[Rico]

No.

[Brandon]

I know we had little.

[Kyle]

When your team scores a touchdown, do your cheerleaders go into their bag and throw flash of footballs in the stands?

[Dana]

Seen that.

[Kyle]

Okay, well, that's just me.

[Brandon]

I'm aware of the little plastic footballs.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I had a collection and many. So wiener. Huh?

[Brandon]

Oh, you're Dana.

[Kyle]

Your dog's cock.

[Brandon]

Oh, you're.

[Jerry]

I can't believe I said that about my dog. I mean, I can, but.

[Brandon]

Yeah, Very believable.

[Jerry]

Sometimes I amaze myself with how my brain reacts to things.

[Brandon]

You're an interesting cat. Speaking of interesting cat, I got an Evite to like. Your cats are hosting a party at your house, Kyle.

[Dana]

We. They're not actually. So.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but it has their full names. Yeah, Pinky Raquel Malink Rockwell. Raquel Malinky.

[Dana]

It says Malinki.

[Brandon]

It says Malinky on my cat. Evite.

[Dana]

We didn't agree to that.

[Brandon]

And Piper Jones Malone.

[Kyle]

Thank you, Malinky.

[Jerry]

Nah.

[Dana]

Yeah, she was having too much fun.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you might. Piper Raquel.

[Jerry]

It's just.

[Dana]

It's Piper Michelle Jones.

[Brandon]

Why does it say Piper Raquel Malinky.

[Kyle]

Oh, that was Pinky. Malinky.

[Brandon]

Pinky. Malinky. I'm sorry. And Piper Jones Malone's trying to have

[Dana]

fun with the invites. I want to be a real party.

[Brandon]

Well, now. And it's a picture of your cat.

[Dana]

The whole party's a joke.

[Brandon]

Spreading his.

[Kyle]

Why is your cat spreading his.

[Dana]

That's a funny pick.

[Brandon]

Did you not get the Evite, Kyle?

[Dana]

I didn't get the. It's. It's a big deal. It's our first housewarming thing.

[Kyle]

You guys didn't.

[Dana]

I've never had anyone over my plate.

[Brandon]

This will be my first time being somewhere Kyle has slept.

[Kyle]

Mine too.

[Brandon]

You're gonna go.

[Kyle]

No, I didn't get invited. You guys didn't agree on Malinky.

[Brandon]

She just snuck Malinky.

[Kyle]

That's a big.

[Dana]

It's like something we would say, like Pinky Malinky. Whimsically like. Oh, Pinky Maliki.

[Kyle]

Oh, Pinky.

[Dana]

Not her name.

[Kyle]

Get over here. Pinky Malinki.

[Brandon]

That's gonna be an argument for later.

[Rico]

Yeah, it is.

[Dana]

It's not that funny to me. Hate it. Yeah. Hate it.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Because I think that's, like, her legal name now.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Also, it's the first time I've ever seen Pinky.

[Kyle]

And was Malone similarly added to Piper Jones?

[Dana]

Right. We have to have that. Talk about who takes the creative liberties in the household.

[Brandon]

That's kind of your area of expertise.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

There's a little bit of an overstep.

[Dana]

Stick to the laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming, the. In ordering all the decor.

[Brandon]

I'll name the cats. Now that you got a bigger place, are you gonna get a third?

[Dana]

We were thinking about it, actually. It's. We can't. It's just too crazy.

[Brandon]

Three cats is.

[Dana]

Three cats is the cats is crazy.

[Kyle]

Yeah. The cats officially run the house. At three cats, the two cats, you've still got a fight.

[Dana]

They're so easy.

[Kyle]

I know they're easy.

[Dana]

More of these things to observe.

[Brandon]

But what's more.

[Kyle]

But then, like. Like, at that point, at 3, it's like, oh, that's. That's the place with the cat.

[Dana]

But they both are so different, and they bring me joy in two totally different ways. I don't know. A third might more joy.

[Brandon]

You're not covering more poop. You don't have hair on you.

[Kyle]

No, you're not.

[Dana]

No. It. There is no downside. Literally none.

[Kyle]

Well, the problem is what 3 does 3 become 4? Does 4 become 5?

[Brandon]

When does it end? Every time you get a bigger place, Are you going to get another cat?

[Kyle]

Yeah, if you eventually. Are you in the suburbs with a yard overrun by cats and kittens?

[Dana]

I don't know. I love. I think I would love heaps of kitties.

[Kyle]

I love cats, too.

[Brandon]

I do, too. I wish I wasn't allergic.

[Dana]

And I thought. I always thought, like, oh, kittens are the cute ones. And then you develop an affinity for growing grumpy, fat, old cats.

[Kyle]

Their personalities are like us. I mean, they're. They're. They're. You know, they are making a cat happy or making a cat like you is. Is quite the accomplishment in life.

[Dana]

Life.

[TJ]

Get the Maine coon, Kyle.

[Dana]

Mans are a lot you love man. I do, yeah.

[Kyle]

Since your videos, the people who love Maine coons look like they love it. I don't know if I, I would be scared. I got one of those big cats tried to rub its belly and it would maul me. How could something like that.

[Brandon]

Could you integrate that with regular cats though? Cuz that thing's.

[Dana]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's gigantic.

[Dana]

I don't know how that would work.

[Brandon]

Would you ever go hairless?

[Dana]

No. I think those are very ugly.

[Rico]

I love them.

[Dana]

I don't dislike them. They're just visually hard to look at for me.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Dana]

I think I could develop a love for them though. Nothing against them.

[Kyle]

I just want a good solid orange cat.

[Dana]

Yeah, I do want an orange.

[Kyle]

I want an orange really bad.

[Brandon]

Or.

[Kyle]

Best cat I ever had was an orange.

[Dana]

I want a real fat orange cat.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I think orange cats are the best cats. Yeah.

[TJ]

Do people like seek breeds when cat shopping or is just go by color?

[Kyle]

I think rich, rich, rich people do, right?

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah. But those are cats that look like leopards. Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

Or the per. The. The. The fat faced.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheiks love cats.

[Kyle]

Do they?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I think sheiks are buying chic like cats.

[TJ]

Isn't it Marlin's man who has like seven Maine coons?

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I wouldn't be shocked at that point. You get a dog though.

[Kyle]

Yeah. If you got a Maine Coon, you, you basically have a dog. I mean they, they're. But there is this one TikTok account of this guy that just will sit in his recliner with his feet up and let his Maine coon. The Maine coon will lay on his belly and he just rubs him for the entirety of the video.

[Brandon]

Do you have a cat?

[Kyle]

I have Fluffy, who is my cat, who I had from Fulton.

[Brandon]

If you laugh at Fluffy, you're fucked with wiener. And has Fluffy gotten a boner? Brandon?

[Jerry]

Fluffy is just. I don't know why that triggered a

[Dana]

laugh, but yeah, it's funny.

[Jerry]

He's had a Fluffy and he was a piece of the cat.

[Kyle]

Or the buddy.

[Jerry]

The buddy's dog.

[Kyle]

What? The dog was Fluffy.

[Dana]

The dog was third character.

[Jerry]

And we always used to do a voice.

[Kyle]

You gotta understand. When I got Fluffy, it was too.

[Brandon]

What was the voice?

[Dana]

Dating.

[Brandon]

What was the voice?

[Dana]

Dude, you're about to make me laugh. You're about to get me laughing.

[Kyle]

You're sl. You're actually slapping your knee. You are physically slapping your knee. Me?

[Jerry]

I, I called my buddy Joe. We used to love saying Fluffy.

[Brandon]

Fluffy.

[Dana]

We're almost done.

[Brandon]

Voice call Joe right now.

[Kyle]

Just do the show by yourself, Dana.

[Brandon]

And just be like, hey, remember your. Was it a dog?

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And then he'll do the voice.

[Kyle]

Buffy. It was like, British.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

What was.

[Brandon]

What was going on there?

[Jerry]

Why we used to do that?

[Brandon]

What was going on there?

[Jerry]

He's not gonna expect this. He's probably worse.

[Kyle]

Thank God my cat's name was Fluffy.

[Brandon]

He's probably Cubs game with smokes.

[Dana]

You wouldn't say Fluffy like Fluffy.

[Jerry]

Fluffy.

[Kyle]

Fluffy.

[TJ]

Just say that when he answers.

[Dana]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

Are you high?

[Jerry]

No, I don't smoke weed.

[Kyle]

Sounds like show's not answering.

[Jerry]

Didn't answer.

[Brandon]

Brandon, did you get a little buzz last night?

[Kyle]

No, I didn't. I forgot to do it. I went to bed very early last night.

[Dana]

Oh, did you hand off some of them can?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I'm finally the fucking plug. I wanted to be the plug. For how long?

[Kyle]

I got a stream tonight, but I'm gonna do it tomorrow night. I'll let you know. Can't wait.

[TJ]

Do what?

[Brandon]

Sip a little marijuana.

[Jerry]

Mm.

[Kyle]

Very, very, very, very little.

[Brandon]

Very, very, very, very little.

[Kyle]

Promise it's very little.

[Brandon]

I swear to you, bro.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right. Cause anything more than very little, I get paranoid.

[Brandon]

It's less than very little.

[TJ]

I haven't dabbled with those. Are those, like, edibles where it takes a while to kick in the cans?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

My experience is they take shorter to kick in. They kick in pretty fast.

[Brandon]

I ordered one at dinner last night

[Dana]

on tap and have them at restaurants.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And I had to go home.

[Kyle]

My sleeping is just off. Two nights ago, I slept an hour and a half. Last night I slept 10 hours. Probably because I slept in that. But anyway, my nights vary like that. I'll have one elite sleeping night and one awful sleeping night. And I can't stack. I can't stack decent. I can't just sleep seven hours a night. I'm extreme one way or the other.

[TJ]

Do you have a panic attack, Nick?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I sure did.

[Dana]

At the eatery.

[Brandon]

At the eatery. At the range kitchen.

[TJ]

What makes you think going into it. Because you don't smoke a lot at all and. But you're just like, this will be fine.

[Brandon]

I've been, like, super on edge and struggling to sleep. So I was like, let's try this. It was working at home, so I got brave enough to try it out and I just had to go retreat to the basement.

[Dana]

Yeah, I get it.

[Brandon]

I just. I can't get. I don't understand that people that can socially do it. What Is this drinking THC drink?

[Jerry]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I've never done that.

[TJ]

It's the inconsistency. Someone will hand you a pen. It'll be like, oh, I can't draw.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[TJ]

And then someone else will hand you on. And you'll be on Mars.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's a coin flip every time. I was due for a panic attack, though. Did Joe just text you?

[Unidentified Female]

Dana?

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

This kid's taking a nap.

[Kyle]

He can't.

[Jerry]

He can't watch it right now.

[Brandon]

That's the best.

[Kyle]

Is he locked in the room with him?

[Jerry]

Oh, you know, your kids taking it up. You don't want to be on the phone doing the Fluffy voice.

[Dana]

He was taking

[Kyle]

Fluffy. I gotta have the voice, though.

[Brandon]

I know. I need to.

[Jerry]

I don't know. I want to laugh. I think we had our. One of our friends had a dog named Fluffy, and he had a funny voice, and we. He would always say Fluffy.

[Kyle]

Anyway. Yeah, I have a cat. His name is Fluffy. He lives at my mama's house now.

[Unidentified Female]

Okay.

[TJ]

Fluffy's just bawling.

[Jerry]

The.

[Kyle]

Fluffy.

[Jerry]

Is he Fluffy?

[Kyle]

When I got the cat, it was like 2018, and my. My kids were like. And, you know, what are they now? 17, 13? They were like nine, seven. You know, they were all. And I was. The kids named it Fluffy. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jerry]

It's a good name.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

How are the new birds adjusting a new bird?

[Kyle]

The new birds are doing very well.

[Brandon]

Is the rabbit still alive?

[Kyle]

No. Well, the rabbits at my mama's.

[Brandon]

Which mama's in the Down south, she took them.

[Kyle]

She took the rabbits and the guinea pigs. Yeah. Which. I don't know how many guinea pigs we're at now, but. But the bird, the new bird is a singer.

[Brandon]

Is that good or bad?

[Kyle]

It's good. I love. I love the birds singing in the house. I love feeling like the birds are there and. And my wife is taken to them. She. She will put the cage. We brought a big, big cage. And she'll put the cage out on the deck on a warm day. She'll put them by the window. She moves them. She bought a tree for them, so.

[Brandon]

Sounds like they have a pretty good life.

[Kyle]

They have a pretty good life. And the new bird is adjusting well.

[Brandon]

And how's the. The widow?

[Jerry]

He.

[Kyle]

He picked right up with his new piece. Oh, yeah? Pick right up with his new piece. He's doing well.

[Brandon]

They're fucking.

[Kyle]

I don't know if they're fucking, but I think they're. They have a nice rapport with each Other. Okay. And she just talks constantly. Maybe he's in hell.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Maybe in a cage with a talking bird.

[Kyle]

Screaming ass bird. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Man, oh man.

[Kyle]

She's pretty too. She's just a yellow that I can't even describe. Like a. A yellow with a little green tint that gets yellower as her head. It's. She's a beautiful bird.

[Dana]

So pretty.

[Brandon]

Oh, we haven't done a single ad, have we?

[Kyle]

No. You should do one.

[Brandon]

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[Kyle]

a c k dot com Brandon Lau 2 for 2 or 2 home runs in his Pirates debut.

[Dana]

It's got to feel good. All for baseball and individual.

[Kyle]

It's an. It's the most team oriented individual sport in the history of the world.

[Dana]

If you think about every real

[Jerry]

action

[Dana]

in baseball is individual relying on someone to catch a standard.

[Kyle]

It's an individual pitcher gets an individual hitter, but that hitter only gets. He gets one ninth of the at bats. Every. Every single batter has the same amount of. So like it's. It's the most individual sport inside the most team sport.

[Rico]

It is.

[Dana]

That's why I feel like it would be hard to truly feel the interconnected team spirit that is required in big games.

[Kyle]

So I think that's. I think the opposite is true. No matter. You can be the best player in the world and if you bet third and I bat fifth, I still have to hold up my end of the bargain or we're gonna. We're gonna. It's like basketball. You could get 25 shots, I could get no shots. We're both going to get four bats.

[Dana]

But it's more of the mindset in the air of I'm doing this for my team.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

So I have to step up.

[Kyle]

Well, sacrif, you know, if I get a single, you need to move me over to second base. You know, if I'm a pitcher And I give up a ground ball. You need to field it and throw it to the first baseman who needs to do his job. Like, I think it's. I think it's a very team driven spirit. It's not like the teamness of hockey where we all fight for each other. Right. But it's more. More than. Yeah, like a basketball player can take over a game a baseball player has to be a part of. I'm just.

[Brandon]

No, you're good. You're doing well.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Should we answer Chase question about redwood trees?

[Kyle]

Yes, please.

[Brandon]

Let's guess what the question's about.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jerry]

You're not gonna.

[TJ]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Would you.

[Dana]

Is it about.

[Kyle]

Would you be scared of a tree house in a redwood?

[Jerry]

No. Okay.

[Brandon]

What wood makes the best chair?

[Jerry]

You're not even gonna be.

[Dana]

This is about redwood trees? Is it about.

[Jerry]

It's about a redwood tree and a bird.

[Kyle]

What? Well, okay, if you're.

[Brandon]

If you heard. Is a redwood the best tree to live in?

[Jerry]

Nope.

[Kyle]

If you're. What?

[Jerry]

Let me just tell you.

[Kyle]

Would you be scared to nest in a redwood tree?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Is it too high even for a bird?

[Jerry]

If there is an afterlife, would you rather be a giant redwood tree or

[Brandon]

a bird of your choice? Reincarnation. Give me the living thing.

[Dana]

Give me the one that can.

[Kyle]

Well, they're both living.

[Dana]

Yeah, but like not anonymous. Move around the one that.

[Kyle]

What if being a tree rocks?

[Brandon]

You want to be stuck st. I'm talking to the wrong person, Kyle. You'd want to be stagnant for hundreds of years?

[Dana]

No, I think this is just hanging

[Kyle]

out with the other tree buddies in the woods.

[Brandon]

What if you're planning next? Somebody you can't stand?

[Dana]

I think the better hypothetical would be like a redwood tree or like a. A pin worm.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's. That's the closer one.

[Chase]

With a bird.

[Kyle]

You are.

[Dana]

I'd rather be a bird of your. I'd rather be a bird than some of you guys.

[Kyle]

Well, let's. Yeah, let's establish your choice of bird. What? What? What. What bird are you choosing?

[Brandon]

Your peregrine's falcon or Danny Conrad.

[Dana]

There we go.

[Brandon]

Let's go around the office. Tj, Put up the pole.

[TJ]

Peregrine falcons are sick.

[Jerry]

They're fucking sick.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Che. What would the pros be of being a tree? Any tree.

[Chase]

You're out of the food cycle.

[Kyle]

Like you are. No. You can get killed. By you. You can get a. You can get. Get fucked up.

[Brandon]

You'd be a tree next to mints.

[Chase]

Yeah, but. Hundred years, theoretically, a bird could Be someone's prey or be attacked or whatever.

[Kyle]

You could get chopped down.

[Brandon]

But it's a bird. It's a bird of your choice.

[Chase]

A tree is. I'm envisioning like a protected forest.

[Brandon]

Like, you're good.

[Kyle]

So you're thinking the best possible tree. Average bird. Bird of your choice.

[Chase]

Bird of your choice.

[Brandon]

So, Che, if you were reincarnated as an animal, would you want to be in a zoo?

[Chase]

Depends.

[Kyle]

On what?

[Jerry]

What kind of animal?

[Chase]

Like, do I need all the space?

[Brandon]

Zebra.

[Kyle]

That's a great animal to ask.

[Chase]

Center of attention.

[Brandon]

They're not this.

[Kyle]

I don't think there's ever a zoo where the zebra is a center of attention in.

[Chase]

It's in its own exhibit. It's a center of attention.

[Kyle]

Well, yeah.

[Chase]

The only thing zebras always.

[Kyle]

No, zebras never have their own exhibit.

[Brandon]

No, they're always in there with like a. They're always in there with something else.

[Kyle]

They're always in there with something else.

[Dana]

They're in there with antelope and zebras are wallpaper. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Savannah exhibit.

[Kyle]

Yeah. They're in the big open field.

[Brandon]

Granted, they're necessary for zoos.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Chase]

I mean, they're pretty. It's not like zebras should at a zoo. And I'm pretty sure do always have enough room.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I don't think they need too much. So you'd want to be as you'd be a zebra in a zoo rather than on the savannah.

[Kyle]

It's not a terrible life. No. No. This one over here thinks. Thinks duck exhibits are the way to go.

[Brandon]

No, I've never ever once said that.

[Jerry]

Oh, boy.

[TJ]

God damn it.

[Brandon]

I mean, actually, you're putting up a pretty good fight.

[Dana]

Danny, you got.

[Kyle]

Danny, you're up against the best bird.

[Brandon]

Danny, you're kind of popping.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Like a baseball batter.

[Kyle]

That's a hell of a bird, though. That's a top five bird.

[Brandon]

200 miles an hour in a free in a nosedive. That's crazy.

[TJ]

We're doing top five birds. No way is peregrine falcon making it,

[Kyle]

I think the fastest bird in the world. The fastest animal in the world.

[TJ]

Gray African macaw.

[Kyle]

Who is putting a gray African McDonald.

[Dana]

Imagine being a macaw. But you're gray, right.

[Kyle]

Why would you want to be?

[Brandon]

Danny, it's owl, eagle, falcon. Those are the. The three.

[TJ]

Yeah, I was up there.

[Kyle]

Let's.

[Brandon]

659. Let's do them all.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

I got nothing left to say.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Talk about baseball.

[Kyle]

There were so many seagulls.

[Rico]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Let's do every single one.

[Chase]

Hear Me out. Hear me out. I think if you get to pick your choice of bird. You know what? What I do not think is a bad option. That I think everyone's gonna think sucks.

[Kyle]

This gonna say pigeon.

[Jerry]

Pigeon.

[Kyle]

I knew I could tell the way he was pursing his lips all day. You get to on people. You just get to have people food right around you just don't fly around eating trash and walking around people's feet.

[Brandon]

And people hate humans.

[Chase]

But it's like it's. It's. It's edible.

[TJ]

But imagine any bird that's like native to the streets like that.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You're putting yourself in a city. You could be a bird out in the woods and never see a person.

[Brandon]

You could soar the skies. You could go off waterfalls. Pigeons eat crumbs and homeless corpse.

[Dana]

You can wake up and be like, I'm gonna fly to Heidi Klum's house

[Chase]

and look in our window.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I'm gonna go. Oh, I would peep my ass off if I was a bird.

[Dana]

Being a bird with a human brain would be.

[Brandon]

I'd be perched on Sweeney's balcony 247 and she'd love it.

[Kyle]

Saweeties.

[Brandon]

See on sweet on saweeties.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah, dude.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Yeah. That's a good point.

[Brandon]

Oh my God. Make that tier list. I'd rather bird or Danny and choose.

[Kyle]

We'd rather be with your brain. The human brain.

[Brandon]

I would rather be that now.

[Dana]

Oh, yes.

[Brandon]

But imagine being a tree with your brain. They'll be torture.

[Kyle]

Probably boring. Yeah.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Chase]

Get the sun every day.

[Brandon]

So could a bird.

[Kyle]

But a bird bird you're gonna. What's best case scenario? You live five years, live 10 years. Tree could last hundreds of years.

[Brandon]

But like, what's. That's not living.

[Chase]

Oxygen quality is probably gonna be really good.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[TJ]

Being a three is like being a vegetable.

[Kyle]

If you're in the. If you're in the woods with being

[Dana]

a bird right now would be so sick.

[Brandon]

My God.

[Dana]

I would go fly to the Florida Keys myself. Literally fly. Take a dump on Macon, Georgia.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

On making.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Make sure and then go to the Keys.

[TJ]

Ch. You'd wish to be a pigeon and you just be right outside of the.

[Kyle]

This

[Dana]

the worst option for bird.

[Chase]

No. You got friends.

[Kyle]

So do other birds. An owl in. In Alaska.

[Brandon]

Pigeon is one of those animals where, like I could see you torture and kill and I'd forgive you pretty quickly.

[Chase]

There's certainly the. You know, if Mike Tyson snatches you up and you know he loved pigeons or. Right.

[TJ]

That's probably Best case scenario for a

[Chase]

pigeon, rip that pigeon's head off. But you're. I think you guys are underestimating the loneliness factor. Like, if you're a tree in the forest, you're surrounded by other trees. If you're one of these great birds, you're on your own most the time. Birds have bird buddies, at least travel.

[TJ]

They migrate together.

[Kyle]

There's a lot of birds that travel.

[Brandon]

And the perks of being a tree is like a bird. You get to live in that tree. Tree.

[Kyle]

It's true. You basically have the perks of being.

[Rico]

Yes.

[Dana]

Rather be a tree.

[Chase]

But yeah, the life cycle is.

[Kyle]

He did say redwood. Correct.

[Chase]

I assume that's the best giant.

[Brandon]

You're right. You're. It's the best tree.

[Kyle]

That's a.

[TJ]

Is it.

[Kyle]

I'll be goddamn. Stephen. Goddess. That was. That was. That was good. I enjoyed that.

[Jerry]

Boys, I'm sorry.

[Rico]

I gotta head out.

[Kyle]

You know what? Go to your meeting.

[Dana]

Your meeting.

[Kyle]

What did y' all read for Roebuck?

[TJ]

Rob?

[Kyle]

See Dana, Ari, Blue Diamond Growers, Blue Diamond Almonds and more are the flavorful nut mix. Mixed nuts, level almonds, cashews and pistachios, and three signature blue diamond flavors. Honey roasted smokehouse roasted sea salt. Freshness guaranteed. 5 grams of protein per serving. Other mixed nuts are stale, bland. They can't match Blue Diamonds flavor and freshness upgrade to the flavorful nutmeg, Blue diamond almonds and more. And in basketball, the great players don't just go it alone. They have teammates, coaches, and a solid support system behind them. It's kind of like insurance, because, let's face it, a lot of us probably aren't great at doing that alone either. And that's where State Farm comes in. State Farm is a teammate, always ready to assist, help you find the coverage you need and help you recover from the unexpected. From fender benders to storm damage, even. Just a question about your policy, State Farm is there to help, provide and assist when you need it. Through the State Farm mobile app, a network of 19,000 local agents and [e-mail]. so don't just go it alone. When you need help protecting what matters most, State Farm is there. State Farm with the assist. Imagine just being at Wrigley right now, the wind blowing through your hair, beer flowing through your beers.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God.

[TJ]

How's the pole doing, tj?

[Brandon]

I didn't know we could just go. I guess, because.

[Unidentified Female]

60, 40 falcon.

[Kyle]

Wow. Danny coming back.

[Brandon]

You're the man.

[TJ]

New way of getting humbled, Dan.

[Kyle]

If you get 40 against a bald eagle maybe.

[Brandon]

No, peregrine falcon's better than baldi.

[Kyle]

What are you doing? Okay. All right. Don't be crazy. Paragon falcon is a top tier bird.

[TJ]

Can we see a picture?

[Brandon]

Danny?

[TJ]

Green real.

[Kyle]

Have you ever seen it when it. When it. When they zoom in on it as it's going down to kill people?

[TJ]

Very familiar with these critters.

[Kyle]

They're the fastest out 240 miles an hour. Oh, Danny, they're the fastest thing.

[Dana]

Why is that?

[TJ]

Oh, I thought that was one of you.

[Kyle]

Do the image. Do the image of 240 miles an hour. Do the image search of when. Like a.

[Brandon]

And it's only beating there.

[Kyle]

Look at that. Look at that diving ass bird right there.

[TJ]

All right.

[Brandon]

This should be like one of the better days of your life.

[Jerry]

Life.

[Kyle]

You're. You're doing. You're putting 40% up against.

[Dana]

Putting up 40.

[Kyle]

You're putting up 40 against the fastest animal in the world.

[TJ]

Hey, mom, I didn't lose that bad bird.

[Brandon]

God, slightly under half the people that watch this show would rather be me than a bird.

[TJ]

At least they know my name, though.

[Rico]

Mom.

[Kyle]

If I were up against a paragon falcon, I'd settle for 25%, Mike.

[Brandon]

I think that would be a win.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I'd settle for 20. And you got 40.

[Brandon]

And this is.

[Kyle]

They're complaining.

[Brandon]

This is me finding out. Your absolutely popping.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you're the fucking man.

[Dana]

40%.

[TJ]

All right, guys. Really turned my. My mind around on this one. Thank you to everyone who voted.

[Brandon]

Would you rather be like White Sox Dave or a robin?

[Kyle]

I think being White Sox Dave is probably pretty fucking awesome.

[Brandon]

I think so too.

[Dana]

I honestly do. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I think being around White Sox Dave can be taxing and trying sometimes, but being White Sox day, like being Mincy,

[Brandon]

being Mincy, that's the best life on earth, right?

[Kyle]

So. So, like, being around Mincy sucks. Being Mincey has to be fucking every

[Brandon]

second of his life is bliss.

[Kyle]

Yeah. And being White Sox Dave, you're right. All the time. You're the fucking. You scored 30 touchdowns in junior high. You're the fucking man.

[Brandon]

Fuck.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Chase]

Your clothes smell and you're aware he doesn't care.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it doesn't matter to him. What would be your bird matchup, Nick? It's you or you against an Icelandic snow owl.

[Brandon]

No, no, I think it's probably like an emu.

[Kyle]

You against an emu?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Could be good.

[Kyle]

You're routing an emu, though.

[Rico]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

I. I think you're rallying it.

[Brandon]

Ostrich Would be close. Could be fun. It'll be fun to run fast.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Kyle, obviously you're against a penguin.

[Brandon]

I agree. Macaroni.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You're against the Penguins. 1.

[Unidentified Female]

Kate just had a list of all of our player comps. All of our animal or player comps.

[Brandon]

Kate did that.

[Kyle]

Somebody.

[Unidentified Female]

Somebody sent it to us.

[Kyle]

We don't listen to Kate.

[Brandon]

Read it out loud.

[Dana]

I didn't know that.

[Kyle]

T. What do you think? Oh, she hadn't been here the whole time.

[Brandon]

No, I think she's here.

[Dana]

Where's Kate?

[Brandon]

Did she make it to the beach?

[Kyle]

I hope so. She did. She did?

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Nice.

[TJ]

I'm curious how that flight went.

[Kyle]

Well, it looked like they got. I mean his two check marks were four hours leave for the airport and two hours be at the gate, so.

[TJ]

But she was not sitting next to her kids.

[Kyle]

Kids sitted.

[TJ]

Seated.

[Kyle]

Okay, come on. That was a point. That's a point for the falcon.

[Brandon]

Brandon, can we watch you cry?

[Kyle]

No, I don't want to watch that. It was. I don't know but I. I want to feel because I like I it. A tear legitimately came out like it wasn't. It wasn't even like a. Like a haha. I'm gonna act sentimental.

[Jerry]

It was like.

[Kyle]

It got me. It got me real good. I don't know if they clipped it so pinned on.

[Unidentified Female]

On mousey sports words.

[TJ]

How often do you cry?

[Unidentified Female]

We don't want to watch it.

[Kyle]

Not very often.

[Brandon]

Amazing.

[Kyle]

Not very often.

[TJ]

Do you guys cry all the time?

[Kyle]

I'm gonna say three times a year I cry.

[Brandon]

I've been trying to put myself intentionally into cry situations. I was watching adopted boys get their first birthday cakes.

[Kyle]

That's good. Yeah.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That really got me.

[Kyle]

I. I have a good country music cry night once every six.

[TJ]

What are we throwing on?

[Kyle]

Oh, I'll throw just anything. Any old sad country. Just a sad country almost started. Just play one sad country song, put it on the radio and let it go to wherever it goes.

[Brandon]

I watched a old country music video of Travis Tritt.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Walking up to this chick was trying. This really hot blonde gave her a

[Kyle]

quarter and told her to call someone who cares.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He was the man.

[Kyle]

He was the fucking man.

[Brandon]

It's the coolest. I think a guy. A white boy's ever been me and my.

[Kyle]

Me and my friend Bradley Barton is going to the Masters with me. One of our things we do to each other is just every now and then will randomly send an image of Travis straight album cover from the 90s because he. His Album covers were just close up pictures of him old country out looking like the fucking man.

[Brandon]

Were very poorly designed. But they do have a strong branding mullet earring. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Like the. The entire. Usually maybe a blue jean vest like it was.

[Brandon]

But Travis Tritt's biggest song is look

[Kyle]

at, look at Travis. Look at Travis Trent just being Travis Stretch.

[Brandon]

There's no bird.

[Kyle]

That's all his album Trip. That's all his album covers are just pictures of him looking fucking sweet.

[Brandon]

What's the.

[Kyle]

What's.

[Dana]

What's.

[Brandon]

What's his biggest hit?

[Kyle]

Oh, Great Day To Be Alive.

[Brandon]

Probably did the lyric about him not shaving but then maybe shaving into a Fu Manchu.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Bother you. It kind of contradicts itself.

[Kyle]

No, I guess you're right. I never thought about that. I. I always thought that day that he described didn't sound all that great.

[Brandon]

But I think that's the point.

[Kyle]

He had rice cooking in the microwave.

[Rico]

Right.

[Brandon]

But still, it's a great day to be alive.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right. Well, it just seemed like he was set. He set out to tell me what a great day it is when really I guess the. I'll be goddamn. The lesson was every day is a great day to be alive.

[Brandon]

You want to try to do the trit day with me?

[Kyle]

Well, you got to have rice cooking in the microwave.

[Brandon]

Well, Fu Manchu.

[Dana]

I know this song. Yeah. Oh, what a song.

[Kyle]

I need to see the lyrics. I'm having trouble stopping my brain. No, that's a great song. Got a three day beard I don't plan to shave and it's a goofy thing I just got to say hey, I'm doing all right I think I'll make me some homemade soup I'm feeling pretty good and this isn't a hard day to do.

[Dana]

This is describing like a bucket list type of day.

[Kyle]

No, it's just. I think it sets out looking like it's going to and then it's just Talking about a normal day. There's some hard times in the neighborhood, but why can't every day be just this good? It's been 15 years since I left home Said good luck to every seed I'd sown There really ain't much to

[Brandon]

this day, his day. He didn't do shit.

[Kyle]

He didn't do a goddamn thing.

[Brandon]

That lazy motherfucker.

[Kyle]

You know, the Tim McGraw day is harder. They're riding a bull named but he's

[Brandon]

living like he dies.

[Kyle]

That's living like you were dying. This is just. This is just a regular day.

[Unidentified Female]

Both mention Fu Manchu they sure do.

[Brandon]

Both different types.

[Kyle]

Yep. What? Well, the other one named the bull name Fu Manchu.

[Brandon]

You broke teach.

[Kyle]

And he says I might go get me a new tattoo. Do I might take my old Harley for a three day cruise.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

He's just sitting on his ass.

[Kyle]

Soup and rice.

[Dana]

He ain't doing soup and rice.

[TJ]

I love the country songs that are just so country.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You name the babies, I'll name the dog.

[Brandon]

Which one is that? What's that?

[Dana]

Danny, which one is that?

[Kyle]

That's certainly never been a song out

[Brandon]

there with the crickets and the frogs.

[TJ]

I worked at a country bar for like flake.

[Dana]

Sh.

[Kyle]

That's an actual sauce.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[TJ]

And then what's the other one? Well, I took some pills and she took the dogs.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Oh, it's all gone down. Do you just remember the songs about dogs?

[Rico]

About the dogs.

[TJ]

She's gone to her mom.

[Brandon]

Brad Paisley. I'm going to miss her.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

One for the boys.

[Kyle]

Tommy Walker's favorite song of all time.

[Jerry]

Really?

[Kyle]

Not a letter. He knew how to. He knew how to sing that song when he was four years old.

[TJ]

Who was first? Nitty Gritty or Garth Brown Brooks?

[Kyle]

Nitty Gritty.

[TJ]

Nitty Gritty.

[Kyle]

Yeah. That was like. That song came out like 87.

[Brandon]

Wow.

[TJ]

I'd work at this bar and every. There'd be a live band every day of the weekend. And even on the jukebox, you could only get country music. I got Stockholm syndrome. But everyone would close with.

[Brandon]

Did you start to like it, though?

[TJ]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Kyle]

Every.

[TJ]

Every band would close with. What's the Garth Brooks.

[Kyle]

I got Low friends in Low Place.

[Rico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana]

Who was the. Who was the first or the one in your era? The country star who was more for the women. Like, we had Luke Bryan and Sam Hunt, who were heartthrobs.

[TJ]

Thomas.

[Brandon]

Billy Ray.

[Kyle]

Well, even further. Billy Ray's a good one, but even further than that. I was. One of my earliest memories of my grandmother was her playing Conway Twitty.

[Brandon]

He was for the ladies, for the hoes.

[Kyle]

For the hoes. Conway.

[Brandon]

Conway Twitty.

[Kyle]

Conway Twitty was for the man.

[Brandon]

There's no way.

[Kyle]

The old sex appeal, the old back in the 60s and 70s and 80s love. Conway.

[Brandon]

Wait, you said your mama.

[Kyle]

My great grandmother, who was still alive when I was a kid, would have Conway Twitty on all the time because

[TJ]

she was like, good looking.

[Brandon]

Or did they just have.

[Kyle]

No, no, they just had to sing. They had to sing lyrics to make a woman feel good looking.

[TJ]

Was he good looking?

[Kyle]

I Don't know.

[Brandon]

I just know from family guy.

[Rico]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty. It's always so good. Yeah. One of the songs was I want to lay you down or something.

[TJ]

Really?

[Kyle]

Yeah. All of his lyrics would be like. Like, hey, I want to.

[Jerry]

You.

[Kyle]

But he would come up with ways to say it that I didn't know

[Brandon]

Conway was a dog.

[Kyle]

Like, yeah, I want to lay you down. I want to. I want to. I don't know. But he was. He was a dog.

[TJ]

Doggy style.

[Dana]

Has the country s ever went global?

[Kyle]

Garth is global, right? I don't think Garth is global. Garth can go. Garth sold out Ireland like a week straight.

[Brandon]

That's not global. Has. Has a country. Has Toby Keith ever done China or Tokyo?

[Kyle]

No, I. Garth could. Garth global.

[Brandon]

You think Garth could do Tokyo?

[Kyle]

Garth could do any city in this world.

[Brandon]

Garth Brooks sold out.

[Kyle]

Garth could do Rio. Garth could do Tokyo. Garth could do Sydney. Garth could do any country.

[TJ]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

Because Even I think McGraw is bigger than Garth.

[TJ]

Yeah, even like the bands.

[Kyle]

You're out of your mind. There ain't no way McGraw's not getting a million people in central park.

[TJ]

But even the bands like Florida, Georgia line, they transcend country. You'll see them on the top 40 and stuff.

[Kyle]

But so did Garth. Garth did at the time. Garth is the biggest thing that ever hit country music, guys.

[TJ]

I know. I'm really saying, like, was he also.

[Brandon]

You're the. You're the expert here. I'm willing to bend.

[Kyle]

Garth could do any. Any city in any country in the world.

[Brandon]

Sell it out.

[Dana]

I wouldn't have known.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I think he could. And I know, like, Ireland, like had to make. Had to change laws because when he

[Dana]

came there, you're right. The Internet saying Garth Brooks has huge international live draws, notably Ireland, but overall reach is heavily u. S. Centric. They're also saying Shania Twain.

[Kyle]

Really?

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Dana]

Massive success in Europe, Asia and Australia. Australia makes sense.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah. Australia is almost cheating.

[Brandon]

Well, they have country stars.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Let me read another ad.

[Brandon]

Go for it.

[Kyle]

How many ads we got left?

[Brandon]

Fat stack of papers.

[Kyle]

I've just got one left.

[Unidentified Female]

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[Kyle]

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[Brandon]

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[Kyle]

I don't. I don't think they play Today.

[Jerry]

Okay.

[Kyle]

I think they start tomorrow. Could be wrong. I was just looking at my fantasy team.

[Brandon]

Oh, your fancy baseball team?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, you invited me to be in that league.

[Kyle]

I did, but then we filled up on spots. We had more homies from back home do it, and I wasn't able to get any barstool people other than Jeff, DLO and Ebo and Clemmer. And Mintz is mint in it. And tj.

[Brandon]

Yeah, and tj.

[Kyle]

And Aaron from upstairs.

[Brandon]

Aaron, too?

[Kyle]

Yeah. Don't ask me which one she is, but she is upstairs, okay? I promise you. Aaron's upstairs? Yeah.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Correct.

[Unidentified Female]

Yes.

[Kyle]

And Catherine as well. She's also up there.

[Brandon]

Catherine's in it.

[Kyle]

Catherine's in my fantasy.

[Brandon]

You got to be me.

[Kyle]

Catherine's in it.

[Brandon]

That's.

[TJ]

That's.

[Brandon]

You've gone too far.

[Kyle]

And Hinkle. Hinkle's in it.

[Brandon]

Now you're with me.

[Kyle]

Yeah. And Liz Gonzalez is in it.

[Rico]

Just one.

[Kyle]

Gonzalez is in it. Yeah. Blackjack. Fletcher.

[Brandon]

Danny, what would Hinkle say if Brandon asked him to be in his fantasy league? And again, this is not for the viewers. This is just for me.

[TJ]

I'm really happy you invited me to be part of your league, but I have to tell you, I might not be paying much attention to it.

[Dana]

Yeah, that was good. So that was good.

[Kyle]

Not only do you do the inflection, but does every sentence he ever say require a but?

[TJ]

Oh, it's all terms and agreements.

[Dana]

Constant caveat.

[Kyle]

Yeah,

[Brandon]

Just maybe so the people at home can understand your impression. Should we spy cam him real quick?

[TJ]

Oh, he's not gonna talk, but yeah.

[Brandon]

You don't think.

[TJ]

Love to.

[Dana]

No.

[TJ]

I mean, I sit next to him all day. That's. That's how I hear.

[Unidentified Female]

I think he's often watching.

[Dana]

Oh, is he?

[TJ]

Okay, I like your imitation of me, but I don't think I say sure many times.

[Dana]

Yeah, I'll give you that.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[TJ]

No, that's a big one.

[Brandon]

Yes, but.

[TJ]

Sorry, Matt.

[Kyle]

Danny, do you have one of everybody in the office?

[TJ]

No, I'm not good at impress.

[Kyle]

Yes, you are.

[TJ]

But, like, if you. If you.

[Brandon]

I stole White Sox, Dave. From your.

[Rico]

You.

[TJ]

They're all, like, C minus. They don't sound like.

[Kyle]

I think that's all it needs to be, though.

[TJ]

Except for. Except for Stitch. I could do Stitch.

[Jerry]

Ho.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we don't work with Stitch.

[Kyle]

I mean, there's guys out there that

[Brandon]

would be so sick.

[Kyle]

I made a career. I'll see. Minus impressions.

[TJ]

True.

[Dana]

You drop them casually. You're not like, oh, look, at this impression.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Dana]

Right. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[TJ]

I'm not like or anything.

[Kyle]

Like.

[Dana]

Yeah, I would.

[Rico]

I would hate.

[Brandon]

That would be very.

[Jerry]

For.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Can't just bring it up for no reason.

[Brandon]

Peregrine Falcon just took the biggest.

[TJ]

Why don't more people who are good at impressions become like singers? You see like a comedian who perfectly

[Dana]

mim sing this amazing song like that.

[TJ]

Yes.

[Kyle]

It's a good question.

[Brandon]

When people are good at impressions, they just say the stuff that person would say.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I want to hear what that person wouldn't say.

[Dana]

That's my thing.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dana]

When I it from a. Yeah. Comedically make them say something off the wall.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Dana]

That would be funny.

[Brandon]

But now, like, with AI did you do the Colin Coward thing yet?

[Kyle]

No.

[Brandon]

He uploaded his just, I guess, consciousness to Fox Sports and you can just ask AI Colin anything and he'll give you a response.

[Kyle]

You can ask k AI Colin Coward anything.

[Dana]

Anything based on data that like he. He. He said based on sports.

[Kyle]

Or can I ask him how to decorate, I guess my second patio.

[Unidentified Female]

So this is something that like Jerry came into this studio and pitched this show on doing like four, three years ago.

[Brandon]

He did remember selling.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female]

What if barstool sold their license or their. Their library to AI to create like back ends? And that would be what? That would be the same thing. You would have an AI branding or an AI big cat that you could talk to. I don't think it's a good idea.

[Brandon]

You don't? Or do I feel like that's going

[Unidentified Female]

to cause more issues than solve problems.

[Brandon]

Well, we'll just do podcasts for us. You can make it that people could

[Kyle]

hear, but you can make it say anything.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

But I think Colin Fox Sports app

[Kyle]

launches AI version of Colin Coward and

[Brandon]

I think it's like open format

[Matt]

the past 10 or 11 months.

[Kyle]

Why is this?

[Matt]

I have been working. This is him with really smart people in our tech department at Fox and we developed something. We. We took a couple of years of all of my shows a poor app and we downloaded all my shows. It's called Sports AI and you can find. Just launched on the Fox Sports app. So speed it up right there. And they have downloaded every show of mine for the last two years. So it has my cadence. I think stylistically it sounded like me when I first heard that. Really raw. When I first heard it 10 months ago. I thought it was the craziest thing I've ever heard in my. Could ask it questions. It gives amazing answers, much like this show does. And so you get the Facts. You get the opinions. Just go to the app. Ask me anything you want about sports or. And you'll get me or the AI version of me. So to give you a little bit of an example of how it works,

[TJ]

again, give away your job, give away

[Matt]

your life, and it's on the Fox.

[TJ]

Why would they need them anymore?

[Matt]

You can download the app. I. I think you'll get a good.

[Brandon]

I think TBOB had him resolving some pretty political issues.

[Kyle]

Really?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

That's the thing that people don't know about T. Bobby. Super political behind the scenes.

[Brandon]

That's right.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female]

That's not what Jerry peaked or pitched. I was. I didn't realize.

[Brandon]

What did Jerry pitch?

[Unidentified Female]

Jerry pitched like, so you could do like, make Brandon dance. And then they would have source image from the yak. That that's how they would know what Brandon looks like. So that's how the AI would like, learn what Brandon looks like.

[Dana]

Like.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Unidentified Female]

Or like make a podcaster dance. And the source imagery would look sort of.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Ambiguously.

[Unidentified Female]

Like Brandon.

[Kyle]

I could make you. I give you a choice. You can be the best impressionist in the world or the best dancer.

[Brandon]

Dancer.

[Kyle]

Best impressionist in the world. Are 75th. You'd be top 10,000 dancer.

[Brandon]

Dancer.

[Kyle]

Best impressionist in the world. Top 2 million dancer.

[Brandon]

Impressionist. That's my line.

[Kyle]

Dancing is a. Is a skill.

[Brandon]

I mean, top 2 million dancers probably still pretty good.

[Kyle]

Really good fucking dancer.

[Dana]

Yeah. But like, where. Where are you, Cat? You can't casually do that.

[Kyle]

I think you. But I think you can find. If you find yourself in a situation where dancing is required and you can fucking rip it. You're the man.

[Dana]

The only situation is a performance of you dancing, dancing.

[Brandon]

No wedding. A bar.

[Kyle]

If you just break out sick dance moves at a wedding and nobody's expecting it, you're. You're the.

[TJ]

Yeah. You're gonna be naturally dancing more than you are naturally doing impressions. So I think dancing will come in handy more.

[Brandon]

Would you rather be a very passable singer or an amazing impressionist?

[Kyle]

Passable singer. Yes.

[Dana]

Passable impressionist.

[Kyle]

You go. Amazing impressionist. Passable singer can get you that. That's going to open a lot of doors too.

[Brandon]

I would rather be good at just doing all accents than impressions.

[Kyle]

Very good at impressions or very, very good at drawing

[Dana]

impressions?

[Brandon]

Impressions.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Impressions.

[Kyle]

All right. Yeah.

[Brandon]

What's the final poll? Danny v. Bird.

[Rico]

Oh, God.

[Unidentified Female]

53%. You're making gain.

[Kyle]

Do you win or do you lose?

[Unidentified Female]

He lost by 3%, Danny.

[Brandon]

Take that.

[Kyle]

That's. That's a That's a coin flip against a peregrine.

[Brandon]

I would be skipping out of here.

[TJ]

Thank you to everyone who voted. I got a lot to think about. No, I appreciate it. I still don't think peregrine falcon is the top five bird.

[Kyle]

You need to learn about the paragraph.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's pretty silly of you.

[Kyle]

You need to learn about the great horned owl.

[TJ]

Even the.

[Kyle]

A peregrine falcon is walking the dog on any owl. I mean, the owls are great and cool. A peregrine falcon is the best falcon and it's the fastest animal on earth.

[TJ]

That's cheating, though, Flying when it's soaring down.

[Kyle]

No, no, no, that's not.

[Brandon]

Then why doesn't every bird do it? Danny.

[Kyle]

Right?

[TJ]

You drop a cheetah from an airplane,

[Brandon]

this is not going 250.

[Kyle]

This. This isn't merely going at the speed of being dropped. This is turning yourself into a missile. It's a missile.

[TJ]

Listen, I'm grateful, All right?

[Brandon]

Imagine going into a rabbit at 250 miles an hour.

[Unidentified Female]

Power.

[Brandon]

I mean, imagine being one of the best feelings.

[TJ]

Free will, Thumbs.

[Brandon]

Yeah, thumbs are cool, but you'd have to be.

[Kyle]

Danny.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[TJ]

They made the right choice. I'm not complaining.

[Kyle]

I think you put up a good. A good fight.

[Brandon]

That was Sienna versus Duke.

[Jerry]

All right.

[TJ]

We'll do a new tomorrow. We'll see how far you need.

[Kyle]

You need to study peregrine falcons tonight. That's all I require of you.

[Brandon]

You need to talk to Tommy Walker.

[Kyle]

You really do.

[TJ]

Give me his number.

[Kyle]

Are you in the Tommy group? Church? I don't think I am. Because you get. You would get.

[TJ]

We've only met very briefly once.

[Kyle]

All right. I think you'd be fascinated.

[TJ]

Oh, I've loved what I've seen so far.

[Kyle]

I don't think he would be.

[TJ]

He's on spring break, right?

[Kyle]

He is.

[Jerry]

All right.

[Kyle]

Yeah, he's active right now. He's. He's. He's bad active. All right. T.J. you want to get the wheel ready? We did. We fulfill all of our. Why? Wait a second. Wait a second.

[Brandon]

That's where he had to go.

[Kyle]

That's where he had to go. All right, that's fair.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's pretty sick.

[Kyle]

Pretty fair.

[Dana]

I would.

[Brandon]

I would pretty. I would leave.

[Kyle]

Yeah, but why didn't he just say that?

[TJ]

He would have voted me.

[Kyle]

Why didn't he just say I got to go United Center.

[Unidentified Female]

I'm.

[Kyle]

I'm going to shoot around.

[Brandon]

Who's filming all these angles? Alabama.com is Talty.

[Kyle]

Is Talty doing it? I don't remember who [e-mail] now you know who [e-mail]. just state next to my fine. Yeah, you got to know that AL.com's a good. It used to be all the newspapers in Alabama. It's a good place to work. They do the SEC shorts. You don't know what that is? I don't know why I said that like that. All right, T.J. you want to spin it?

[TJ]

We're getting close.

[Kyle]

Good show. Good, good close.

[TJ]

What to wet? Oh, slots remain.

[Kyle]

You're right.

[Dana]

Hot.

[Unidentified Female]

The time machine came out on this day in 2010.

[Jerry]

Really?

[Brandon]

A 16 year anniversary. I feel like he has to watch

[Kyle]

it came out on a Thursday. Thanks, guys. Just get rid of the wet.

[Unidentified Female]

Keep telling you.

[TJ]

Don't taunt it.

[Dana]

We're good.

[Brandon]

We're good.

[Kyle]

We're good.

[Dana]

We're good. Perfect.

[Kyle]

All right. See? Well, I won't be here tomorrow, but see you guys soon.

[Dana]

What?

[Brandon]

Why aren't you here tomorrow?

[Kyle]

I gotta. I'm closing on the house this weekend. I gotta do a lot of housework.

[Brandon]

Sa.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Rico]

It's time to talk shop. I love you.