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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I just wanted to be an alien. That was incredible. Hello, it's the AX super bowl, day two. Welcome in it is the Yak. We have a big show today. We're drafting our teams for our flag football competition tonight. Yep. Which Pete will undoubtedly screw up the tech for sure, so we should just be all prepared for that. How's everyone doing? Good. Great. Yeah. You look good. I don't feel good. You look great. I don't think 2xL in California is the same as 2x everywhere else. That's a European ass shirt, though, so I think that might be an American medium. Like, are you return. Are you planning on returning it with the tag on it? No, I just couldn't get it off and forgot about it. And, yeah, this is my shirt. We're very lucky. We're next to a Ross. Very lucky. We're a Ross with security guards. You guys don't even need to look ridiculous. Right. You just need to be matching. We just need to be matching. These were, like, the only doubles that we found in Ross. It looks good. Oh, happy birthday, Stephen. Che. Oh, yeah. Feel like we've celebrated his birthday for a happy birthday, Jay. Thank you. He's been on chick mode with his birthday week. It's a milestone. I got to do that. These are the glasses you got because your wife said all the other ones look too feminine, right? Yes. Those are kind of stunner shades. I kind of like them. They. They go with the fit. Kb did you know that Reno, Nevada, is actually more west than Los Angeles? Yes. That was what you brought? Try again tomorrow. Wow. That's surprising. Wow. Thank you, Steven. I appreciate that. Yeah, he appreciates it. Isn't Los Angeles on the water? Isn't LA kind of on the water? Yeah, but kind of. Some parts of it are just a. It reaches the water. Reach. Yeah. Jay, what's your name plate today? You know, France has the most time zones. Oh, that one's gonna get you in trouble, bud. Yeah. I think we got this from Brandon's closet. All right. Dude, you're gonna get punched in the face. Stephen Che looks so good. But he also looked. He came to dinner last night, and he had his teal Jaguars jersey by himself walking in eater. You just. You pull it off, though. Thank you. I don't get it. It's fun. It's. It's a. It's a. Like I said, it's a vacation for Myself. She gave a speech where he said, look at that. Look at this guy. I don't know if I'm just worried about being overdressed too. I don't know if we're getting ahead of whatever, but in chase speech, he said, I look like a sex offender and I wouldn't have any other one. Yeah. Any other way. It was a two sentence speech and I wouldn't have it any other way. That was it. No, no. And then the end speech was a tip for eating vagina. Yes. Wide base. Yeah, wide base. And use the lower lip. And then he had to come back and. And be like, just so everyone knows the wide base. I was talking about my mouth, not my stance. If I walked in on him with his legs spread, he. I'd be living his mouth as narrow as could be. Yes. Like a whistle. When I got back to my seat after the first speech, people had a lot of questions. They're like, you use your legs a little super wide. And I was like, no, no, no, no. But luckily I got the chance to clarify with the second speaker speech. Yeah. So you make your mouth as wide as possible. The base. The base of your tongue? Yes. Can you show us? No. You wouldn't want it any other way than to look like a sex offender? I just think overall, if people, especially at this company, kind of mess around with you, they inherently like you. So I think it's good that, that I'm staying strong. What's that got to do with you saying I look like a sex offender and I wouldn't have it any other way. There are times, there are times when I like. I think you actually, like, read a book like Male Friendship and you're just reciting it back to us being like, you know, when guys call you a sex offender, that means they're your buddies. Technically, nobody called me a sex. I called myself Hurts last. But yeah, I mean, I looked like that yesterday. And. And today I'm trying to look like wide receiver one. Oh, for the draft. Wow. For the big draft coming up. Big draft. Yeah, we got a big draft. We're doing our flag football game. It's Brandon, myself, PFT and Dave as captains. So Dave will be here. PFT will be here for the draft. We're going to do the live draft around 10:45 Pacific Time. Kate, how are you holding up? What's wrong? Nothing. I'm doing great. Oh, no. Are you hungover? Cancer. Yeah. It seems like a lot of people went out pretty hard. I heard the rumblings of a strip club visit. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. On a Monday of the Monday strip club. Wow. Who went to a Monday strip club? They had ordered somebody's like, I got the Uber xl. And all the guys were like, all right. And I thought it was to go back to the hotel. So I was like, oh, I call shotgun. And they were like, you're coming too. And I was all excited to go. You know, I was like, we'll put on fun songs in the car back to the hotel. I didn't realize where they were going, so. But you could have just not gone. I didn't. I. Then I ended up doing my own little bar crawl. Oh, shit. By yourself? Is that sad? Is that a problem? I guess both. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm fine. All the above. We went to breakfast this morning. Kate was wildly hungover, and she didn't realize her omelette came with jalapenos. And instead of asking to make a trade or take the jalapenos out, she just scarfed it down, powered through it. Our hangovers. In hindsight, the Elvis omelette was not the best. Oh, I saw that one. Hey, how. When you go to breakfast, if you go to breakfast by yourself, what do you order? How much do you order? I'll over order if I'm by myself. I ordered three things by myself this morning. That's a lot. Treat yourself. Think so. Three. Three, like entree kind of things. Two Eggs, pot, potatoes, and. And. And bacon. That's one thing. I got a yogurt, parfait and waffle. That's fine. It's probably fine. Did the parfait go untouched? No, the parfait. I use it. It's. I. I liken myself to a nuclear reactor. I got to cool myself down in the middle. Oh, yeah, understandable. I start to overheat. Kyle, you got your tan. I did. Level 4 Island Stunner. Did they try to talk you out of it? Yes, they try to get me down to level three. Are you going to go again? I think I'm going to get level five. Yes. I was going to say you have to go again. Hello, darkness. You look good. I look ridiculous. You look like a Stanford undergrad. Well, let me take my shirt off. He looked very dark in the restaurant last night. In the restaurant lighting. Okay. What's that say? Kenneth Cole, You no longer look like a Stanford undergrad. Bad. Okay. Fantastic. Y. I have half of the people's gifts from Chinatown. Oh, half. Should we wait? It's up to you. Do you want to do them? Half? Yeah. Cuz I couldn't. I want, I want them to all be special and like, what do I get? Che. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm excited for these. Titus. Oh, Titus, we got to hear about Alcatraz. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I went, I went yesterday. I heard you got in a political debate with Jake. One sided political. Oh, yeah. Jake Malasek was still talking about it the entire dinner. Was he really? Hey. Called you a communist? I didn't say. I just sat there and listened to him. Just about San Francisco, California. Oh, my God. Wow. That looks sick. Kyle. That looks so sick. What is this? What is this? What is this? It's a flute. I guess I only got three things. And Danny, I got you the meditation balls. Wow. Oh, do the flute. That won't be annoying. It's pretty good. Our rooms are next to each other. Did you hear me shredding last night? I did. I thought that was your. I thought you were. That's how I would imagine you. Fuck. My strokes sound like Asian flute sound. Yeah, here's. Yeah, try. Compliments to your girl. Not bad. That's pretty good. Get better. Oh, Titus. Now that thing of beauty. That thing is awesome. One person's gift was significantly more expensive than the rest. Titus, turn around and show him the back. Look at that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. One person's gift was significantly more expensive than the rest. How. It's not your flute gourd. It's not your gourd flute. So, Titus, how was Alcatraz? How was the Alcatraz was fun. Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor. Guess he's gone. Oh, content Connor doesn't stick around for the yak anymore. Content Connor. Connor took a camera and Rick, he, he, he's got like an hour of footage. I don't know what he wants to do with the footage, but he's like, we're gonna make a vlog out of this. So I don't want to spoil. I don't know what I'm. I don't know what his vision is for the vlog. So I was going to ask him, but he's just not here. Did he also. He did. And no one asked him to. Okay. Like, at no point was that part of the deal? Yeah, I pooped. I did it. I, I, I went there and I pooped. Did you have to ask the tour guide? You're like, hey, where's the bathroom? Yeah, they said there are two of them. So there's one right when you get right off the boat, and then there's one like up a little bit. And I went to the one up a little bit. Oh, that's a good choice. That's a good choice. I was going to Porta Potties or standard bathrooms. It was standard bathrooms. There's only one stall in the one that I went to. Jail cell bathrooms. It looked like a. I want. I didn't know about the jail cell bathrooms till after I had. And then it crossed my mind where I was like, that have been. Would that have been legendary? Oh my God. Can you imagine? There was a guy though. Yanni, I think was his name. Is that right? Brandon? You remember? Yeah. Brought him up on the show. Yeah. He was waiting for you. He was waiting for him. And I got off the boat and he gave me wet wipes and croissants. He's like, he goes. He just goes, Titus. And he's holding up these wet wipes. He's like, you don't want to use the government toilet paper if you're gonna on Alcatraz. You gotta use the good stuff. Oh, he's an expert. And I was like, thanks, man. And he goes, also, I got you some croissants from my favorite bakery. Very nice. Yeah, very nice. So him and his wife showed up just to. To help us out. Oh, this is Connor. Get over here. Answer some questions. Was malice with you guys as well? He was, yeah, he was annoying as he is. So annoying. I had a. I had a. A 10 second elevator ride with him today and he pissed me off. He said, there's no woman above a 6 out of 10 in San Francisco. No baddies is what he said. I was like. He also just like, he acts all coy and stuff and just. Oh, he just like, the whole time he's just like talking at me. I'm not even talking back. I'm just like sitting there like I'm on a boat ride in the San Francisco Bay, looking at the Golden Gate Bridge. The sun is hitting it perfectly and I'm just like. It's just blissful. And then I just hear Jake Malasak just be like, the homeless are pooping on. They're speaking. Speak English. Speak English. I don't understand why you don't. Yeah, he wants his homeless to speak English. Yeah, we. We were at dinner and like we were mid conversation. Like, look at that four. Look at that five out the window. I was like, dude, no baddies. No baddies anywhere you look. Oh man, would you do if there were. He wouldn't do anything with it. Loner. He said, Titus wants his next door neighbor to speak Japanese. I don't think I said that. You have an hour of footage. Oh, of the. The. Yeah, I. I said I don't know what you want me to talk about because you, you were, you were taking footage as though this is going to be like a documentary that you put together and I don't want to spoil it. Yeah, no, it could be. I don't care. It was just gonna be like an extra vlog that we could put out on the channel that I was gonna edit together. So, you know, I have. It's gonna be riveting. It's good stuff. It's one of the most scenic poops you could possibly have. It's the most memorable poop of my life. Yeah. Yeah. But I did it. Yeah. Alcatraz is cool. Alcatraz is. Yeah. It's like obviously very touristy, but it was like, I don't know, it was pretty interesting. Beautiful. And if nothing else, if you're not even interested in the prison, it was like. Yeah, it was beautiful. Nice. Yeah. You know, would it be a good place to be locked up? I think so. I think so, right? Yeah. I don't know how much of the view they could see on a day to day basis. Yeah, it's gorgeous out there. Connor hit two home runs. I did. You did? Yeah. Two home runs at the Alcatraz recreational yard. Yeah. Yeah. They have a baseball field right there. Look at this. Holy Malac was pitching. You went yard on Malasac. Yeah, but it was not meant to be this thing like I just wanted to round the bases and film it. Okay, here comes. Wow. That one was actually Strike a little late. You missed that one. Missed that one. Oh, this hour vlog's going to be really good. This isn't part of this is just from. I could watch an entire invisible baseball game. Yeah. Watch this. Oh, oh, there he goes. Oh. And you have the pov. So we got to get that footage. Exactly. That was of you rhyming the bases. What was that? Mark's filming. I was umpire. Oh, you were giving the ball back. Yeah, I was umpire. Cam. Ebo was catcher. Cam, do you have the. Out of you at this point? You guys have. Is there still in you at this point you guys have. Oh, no, I. I got it out. At this point, you have four cameras working a. A game of baseball with an invisible baseball, which I did not ask for. I just wanted to round the bases and then they turn into this Cameras. Right. I have one of the cameras. You didn't ask for it, but you're running around the bases with the pov. And I didn't ask for Malasek to be throwing the pitch. I didn't ask for Ibo to be the catcher. How are you going to hit it without a pitcher? I just was going to round the bases and then they turned into this big thing where we got to have an account, we got to have an open dream come true. I suppose it wasn't necessarily a dream of mine. I just wanted to get a pov. I walk away and I go check out other parts of the prison, whatever. And there's a cool scenic view not too far from there. And I turn around and I look and Connor is once again rounding the bases because the first video I got was too shaky. He hit two homers. He had two homers. Congrats. Two for two. That's huge. But you know, Alcatraz was. Was sick. It is pretty cool. I recommend. I recommend checking it out. Yeah. Had some NFL pros there with us. It was sweet. Bijan. And then it was. They were on the boat with you? Yeah. Did you talk to him? No. Will Anderson, Why didn't you talk to him? Was with you? Robinson, Williams, was he wearing a hat? They. They had their whole like teams with them. They had like. You guys got to say something. Yeah, yeah. You could have. You could have gone yard off. Bijan. Rob. No, no, no, no, no. So right after I got done taking my. I did walk out and. Yeah, Bijan was right there. No, no, he wasn't. He didn't go into the bathroom after me, but he was outside the restroom. You there? You where? I. Because there's only one. I followed you up directly, like within minutes I went in. Yeah, it's Bijan. Robinson has smelled your. Hi. Yeah. Probably upwards of 60. Golly. That's cool, dude. Yeah, that was sweet. And then I was taking a selfie next to Will Anderson and he kind of looked at me weird. This is when I lost you guys. I lost them for a good 10 minutes and I tried to. Why, why would you. After I took my. You guys went to do the tour and I didn't know where you went, and I went to do that. We went to see that. Did you like go talk. Did you like, did you find an adult being like, I lost my, my, my parents. How long did y' all stay on Alcatraz? Us? It was hour and a half, maybe. Yeah. Two hours, something like that. For a second we thought we were going to have to be there for like three or four hours, cuz there were. The, the boat. We didn't know when it was coming back for us. Right, right. Tough to escape from. Tough to escape, which. Absolutely. You could absolutely escape. Those dudes escape. No, no, you could absolutely swim across. I. I eyeballed it, and I was like, that's easy. Yeah, that's easy. Yeah, yeah. There aren't sharks the way that people say they're sharks. No. You could have. You could. And yeah, yeah, but what do you mean there aren't sharks the way people say, like, I thought that there were just sharks everywhere around Alcatraz. I looked it up. There's been, like, five reported sightings of great white sharks. It was, like, disappointing. Just. They. And the saline level around in the bay is not, like, high enough for sharks to. We're looking up the saline level. I was research. I researched it to try to impress you, you fucking asshole. French Polynesia. I know about the overseas territories. Of course, they have the most time zones, so it didn't work. And I had a banger yesterday. And you still. Ohio used to be part of Connecticut. That's insane. I don't know if that's the banger you think it is. What were we talking about? Alcatraz? Yeah, I think the dudes survived. I think they escaped. And then the. The Alcatraz's reputation is like, no one gets off this island. Right. It also. They had to keep the reputation going. The other thing I looked up, it wasn't that, like, there was, like, maybe 30 years that it was a prison. Yeah. Like, you think of Alcatraz and you think of, like, oh, it was a prison for, like, a hundred years. It's crazy. No, it's. Al Capone was there. That's pretty much what people poo pooed that ufc. I pointed out what the Al Capone cell. I pointed it out. Nobody was like, oh, okay. I didn't poo poo it. I pointed it to Evo. Which one was it? The cell? Yeah, it was in that first row that we were in. And then you looked up, and they just had this huge sign that said Al Capone. Oh, no, it was cool. But anyway, just look this. How are you? I don't want to spoil anything. How are your fecal matter? I didn't want to document mine because I knew it was smaller than Titus. Titus pulled his out at dinner, of course. And I saw it because Brandon came over and was like, did you poop? And I was like, yeah. He's like, really? Prove it. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I walked over and said, did you poop? You said, yes. And you said, oh, I took a picture. I said, I don't need to see a picture. I didn't want to show you the picture, but you. You challenged. Are you talking about purple Brandon? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You were purple. When Brandon drinks wine, he drinks. When I drink red wine, I wear the red wine. He eats it. Yeah. I saw a different side of Brandon. He looked like he'd been sucking off Barney. I had a lot. A lot of red wine last night. But Kate, they kept filling up the glass. You don't know how many you had. That's what got me. You felt like you were just having a chain. Well, there was a minimum of, like, how much I had to spend on the drinks. And the guy came up to me, like, two hours in. He's like, We're $1,200 away from the minim. Like, fill them all up. I was like, get them everything. Well, I wasn't noticing. And so that they kept refilling it. So I was like, man, I feel like I've been drinking this forever, and it's still full. I, like, did not. And then towards the end, I was like, wait a minute. Yeah. Need to drink more. Yeah. And you were doing shots. Later in the evening, you did a lemon ch. No, I. I was in a body shot, walking back to my. Back to my table, my seat and shades, shoves a shot in my hand and says, take it. I said, no, I don't want to. He said, yeah, yeah, you're taking off what belly? You did that? He was grinding. I didn't grind on anybody. Yeah, he was grinding all over. You were grinding. I didn't grind. I was working the room. I was sitting next to Zach, and he was just sitting away from his table, just staring at his meal. He's sick, and he got everyone. He's gonna get everyone. Zach was hyperventilating. He spent. He was. He went a day and a half being, like, deathly ill and not saying a word. I didn't ask. Max sent him home. He was exactly what you want. Max sent him home from dinner because he was like, dude, you're gonna get everyone sick. Why didn't you tell us you were so worried? Yeah, we should have known. We went to in and out on. On Sunday night. He only got one burger. We should have known right then and there. Dead giveaway. But, yeah, he. So he's just been getting us sick. He was, like, green. Yeah. Okay, listen, I don't. I don't really have an explanation other than he's got to tell. He's got to alert us because now we're gonna get sick and then he's gonna be apologetic for that. It's like he should have just been like, I'm sick. He was, like, too ashamed to tell the waiter that he didn't want dessert. So they kept on bringing him dessert and he would pass it down to somebody else. They would see he didn't have one, and they'd hand him another dessert. He had three desserts given to him. We gotta work on his, like, confidence of standing up for himself or just telling us when he's sick. Yeah, one or the other. It's on us. We should have known he was sick. He was just sitting away from the table. Yeah, the one burger. I mean, when we went to. One burger is crazy for Zach. The guy gets multiple of everything. Is he still on that McDonald's order? I think so. Okay, yeah, that's a dead giveaway. That's on you. Yeah, it is. Okay, let's do an ad real quick. Pizza Hut. Does someone need to go over there? Who's going over there? TJ for Pizza Hut. Anybody but Che. Anybody but Che. Danny, get over there. Football's better with the big New Yorker from Pizza Hut. Big enough to feed your whole crew for the biggest game. Massive. With slices so big you have to fold them. Don't forget to pizza before the hut and order the big New Yorker for just $10 for a limited time with Pizza Hut. Here we go. Danny, get under center. What? I'm showing him how to do it. You. That's this guy's full time job. The master's degree set. Pizza Hut. Oh, yeah, Danny. There you go, Danny. Good job, Danny. You remember that? Great work, Danny. Down said Pizza Hut. The pizza before the hut. I took him on a beautiful hike yesterday, Danny. Oh, yeah. How many steps are you at? We did. I got. You know, I keep that thing on me now. I got my pedometer. Oh, hell yes. I'm at almost 30. I'm over 35, 000. Did you get any this morning? No. Oh, didn't I got. No. I'm at a thousand today. I'm at a thousand. Kate likes doing these surprise things, which I appreciate, but if it's something like a hike you got. I was wearing jeans the whole time. Yeah, I didn't tell you. I told him it was a surprise where we were going, and then it was a pretty. Wait, was this a date or were you just. I was hanging out. I was just hanging out. And she was like, I got to take you to this deli place. And we get there, it's under construction. There's caution tape all around it. I'm like, are you sure this is the spot? And she was like, here's my next surprise two mile hike through nature, through the woods, a lot of steep hills and. Yeah. Was it beautiful? It was gorgeous. There was surfers. There was no way to get down there. Down a 500 foot cliff with waves smashing on the rocks. And they were down. I don't know. We needed the. The wave puncher out there. No, we were missing him. So that sounds like a nice little date you guys went on. This is the deli that you drove to. That looks good. Wait, so it wasn't open? It was. It was severely under construction. I think the Uber driver said, I heard bad things. Yeah, he did. He said that as we were getting out. How was. How was it? It was great. We got two blts. They only had breakfast sandwiches. And it was. How did you hear about this deli then? I looked it up. It said it was great. I was wrong. What? Said it was great? Their website? Yeah, their website said it was really good. It looked like there was a shooting there. It took took like 30 minutes for them to. For a BLT, it took a long time, but they were okay. They were great. Shay just looks so good. I saw him crossing the street. I keep seeing him out in the wild and I'm like, damn, I cannot believe it says Dust Slur user. Yeah. And you're wearing it around, and he's like, wearing it proudly. This is a melting pot of a city, Steve. It doesn't say what slur. That's true. You could just be saying cracker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you say what slur would it be? Probably jick. Okay, there we go. Che made a new friend yesterday. Oh, yeah, Che. You bought it with someone? Yeah. So very weird. I went to go get lunch, and outside there was a guy who was like, oh, I love your hair. Where'd you get that done? So I was like, oh, okay. Let me give you the name of the salon. So I did. And I was like, oh, do you have a phone? I'll give you the Instagram handle. He's like, oh, man, I don't have a phone. He's like, I just got out of jail. Oh. And I was like, his first taste of humanity. Jaguar Steven, Check. Imagine he had been in jail for like 25 years. Like, this is what the future looks like. So I got really excited. I was like, dude, no way you got out of jail. Today. That's sick. I was like, are you hungry or anything? Do you want any food? He's like, oh, man, I'd love that. And I just came out of the restaurant with my food, like, here you go. And then he was like, I was asking. I was like, hey, would you mind if I took a picture? Like, I'm supposed to get to know a stranger every day. I was like, I'd love to talk to you for a minute. He was like, yeah, sure. So his name is Jacob. He is on SoundCloud at Johnny Teardrops. Okay. So he plays. He doesn't have a phone, so I don't believe he's had a post in a couple years. But the jail thing, yeah. So I was pretty excited because I was like, dude, this guy got out of jail today. First taste of freedom. That's sick. So we talked for a while. His name is Jacob. His. His family's from Ireland. He's doing a bunch of shit out here. Big, big San Francisco guy. But at the end, I got the courage to be like, oh, so how long were you in jail? I didn't want to say what were you in jail for? But I was like, how long were you in jail for? Three days. What a ripoff. So I thought, I'm giving this guy this first taste of a good meal, first taste of in jail. Three days. So what he did say was that he is homeless, and there is a huge homeless problem in San Francisco. And that the police. Homeless man said that? Yeah, he said that the police are just, like, wrangling up homeless people and throwing them in jail for super bowl week. So it doesn't seem like a big problem. But he's like, I just got out today. But I've been just. Yeah, right. That does line up exactly with. When he landed. Was he Irish? Jake Malisik landed. And he's like. He was American, but his family came over from Ireland. You got into that? Yeah, yeah, we thought. We talked. We talked. We talked generation. We talked for, like, six. Six to eight minutes. You said he's doing his thing out here? That's what he told me. Yeah. What's his. What's his thing? He was a musician under Johnny Teardrops. He got signed by Sony Records. What? This was. This was several years ago. And he said he signed for, like, 10 grand, but he gave away, like, all his licensing, and basically he doesn't have any more stuff to, like, produce. I don't know how much truth was in all of these. He played. He played a SoundCloud. It was, like, actually decent, but it was from 2021. Did you play him your songs? I did not know he was gonna get a collab. Oh, he was. He was a good dude. If you knew I enjoyed talking to him. If you knew he was in jail for only three days, would you have given him your meal? Probably not. Oh, you gave him your meal? Yeah, I'd, like, just gotten it and I walked into. Homeless. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But it was pets. You. Thai food. I was just getting out of place. I met Garrett Bowles there. Pretty cool. How did you talk to him? Yeah, yeah. He actually was like, you're a big Jaguars fan. And I was like, ah, no. What made you think that? Did he see your jersey? He didn't see the back. He saw. I was, like, standing over here and him and his family, like, sat down and. Yeah, I mean, he's obviously much bigger. And I was like, oh, you here for the Pro Bowl? And he was like, yeah. I was like, oh, what team you play for? He's like, broncos. So got it. We talked for a minute, but, yeah, then headed out and I met. He also goes by Oak Hard. I guess that's his, like, local street name. Garrett Bowles or the homeless guy. Homeless guy, yeah. So shout out to Jacob Johnny Teardrops. Also, shout out Elmo is half birthday. Yep, yep. Still three and a half. But it's his birthday. Shout out Elmo. It's his birthday or half birthday? Technically, it is his birthday, but he is forever three and a half, so then it wouldn't be his birthday today. I mean, his birthday is February 3rd, but how can it be your birthday if you're three and a half? There's a lot of rules that Elmo doesn't abide to abide by. Okay. Daniel, you got an Elmo in your bag, right? Not really. I thought you did. Is Elmo of this world or was he from an alien? This. Is he an alien? Sesame Street. I know where he lives now. Where does he live? Sesame Street. Tell me how to get there. But where did he come from? I think he's. Where's Elmo from? He just came from a desire for commercialism. Right. Who? Elmo's dad. Elmo's a dad. He looks. You see him? You're like, oh, it's such a bummer. He's got a bad dad. He's got. His guy's dad's a good dad, but he's got a. I pretty sure Elmo's dad has a shitty goatee. Can't Blame him. It bothers me. I could be wrong. He's walking around by himself a lot for a three and a half year old, right? That's something. Ages aren't. Aren't our ages, though. They age differently. Like dog ears. I don't know. I didn't know Elmo had a dad. I didn't either. Well, he got somebody. Muppets had to. That's what I'm. I, I don't know. Do they have. Yeah, he's got a terrible goatee. What's almost dad's name? You're thinking of Joey. Mean. That is mean. Especially because he's just sitting right there with no money. Respond. You can't respond. I, I touched the. Out of a redwood yesterday. No kidding? Yeah. How'd it feel? Felt great. Felt amazing. Soft or hard? Soft, but sounds hard. Now you, you knock on it and it's hollow. It sounds hollow, but then it's. It's a beautiful, beautiful tree. We, we went to Muir woods and walked around for about an hour. It was, it was unbelievable. And this was one of the more. We just stopped early and I touched it. But there were bigger trees later on in the trip. There were bigger trees than that. Yeah, there were much bigger trees. Did you try it all to do the cock picture? I did. It doesn't, it doesn't look like it's too big. It just looks like I'm like worshiping the tree. Like I'm doing this and it just doesn't look good. Doesn't look like it's my cock. Oh my God. Brad did get down from there, bud. I wanted to get a little. I wanted to get a little bit different angle, so I climbed up. I didn't go far. I went like 15ft. You uprooted it. A thousand year old tree uprooted Beer woods is awesome. Unbelievable. What is that, like a local forest? Yeah, it was. It's about 40 minutes away and across the bridge. It's across the bridge. It, I mean everything, once you get to that Golden Gate, everything is just dropped. You're in heaven. Yeah. Drop dead gorgeous and beautiful. The houses that are overlooking the bay are just, they're stunning. And the road to get to Muir woods is, is, you know, all this, all crazy dips and doodles and everything. It was. It's amazing. Dips and doodles. Dips and doodles. Dips and doodles. Yeah. All. All crazy. Mm. And the drive out there is great. You, you look over this valley and then the Pacific Ocean is out there and it's just the Most stunning thing you've ever seen yourself, or did you have someone drive Jordan? Jordan drove us. Drove me and my wife out there. That's beautiful. Yeah, it was nice. Did you both sit in the backseat or did you sit shotgun up with him? Not really relevant. Oh, no. I mean, I set the shotgun, yeah. Oh, you did? Yeah, for the leg room. Oh, good. With her permission, I said, hey, can I sit in the front? Did he go with you to look at the trees? He did. Okay. He had a nice day, too. Okay, good. Yeah, he had a nice day. He deserves that. We had a good, good time out there. The Ross is just perpetually looted. Ross, they just let people come in and take us 12 items or less for shoplifting. Wait, did you shop in Ross today, too? Yes. There's a constant alarm going off and people are just running in taking stuff. Yeah. Walking in, casually walking out. But they have, like, a line and security there. They just don't do it. Yeah, Dave's here. Hey, Dave. As soon as PFT gets here, we'll. We'll start the draft. Is he the other captain? Yeah. Yeah. Brandon, you want to do taxac? What'd you get earlier? I got a couple of Bowman you Bowman chrome you boxes of cards. They were incredible. I haven't opened them yet. I'll have to open them to see if we got anything in them. I might have to open them if I got anything in them. Connor, give up your seat for Dave. Come on, Connor. Come on. Come on, Connor. Come on, Connor. Hits a home run on Alcatraz. How do you do that? Tax act makes filing easy. With step by step guidance, your maximum refund is guaranteed. You won't find a bigger refund with any other tax filing software. TaxAct gives you tax tips throughout the filing process to help you along the way. With expert assist, you can take a credentialed tax expert located right here in the US Their customer care team is here to answer your questions when you need help. TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credit that you deserve. With step by step guidance and trusted tools, you'll feel confident filing with TaxAct, the simplest, easiest way to get your taxes done. All right, Brandon, what do you got? Thanks, guys. I got this gift early because I got this gift from TaxAct because I filed my taxes early. And this is a future super bowl championship helmet. It is the Seattle Seahawks. This helmet is signed by, of course, JSN. Whoa. JSN. Wow. This is a JSN. Jackson, Smith and Jigma. Wow, Dave DMed yesterday that is a hell of a gift. He responded thank you to taxact. Yeah. For this gift. He also ducked Michigan, Ohio State. Wait. Talking the mic. Wow. He also ducked Michigan, Ohio State. His final year. Talks a lot of shit and then didn't show up, didn't play Michigan. One went dark. Rico actually said that he could get his JSN on pmt. Yeah. He's a big fan. Jsn. Yeah. What's the matter? Again? He's. He's the star of the season. He's. He is. He. If. If you look at this season, he was you. He's definitely in the running for best wide receiver in the NFL. Yep. His season was that good. And I don't know what his face looks like. You don't know what his face looks like? I wouldn't recognize. I couldn't doodle it and walk right by me. I think I look like. Look like what? You're in Greece. I got the island stunner shade. He got a spray. I got a spray tan. The white T shirt, the jeans. Did you like Shay's hair? Looks okay. Yeah. I praise Steve. Wow. Well, let's get Dave on here. Let's shift around. Yeah. Is Tate coming on too, for the rules and everything? Probably. He's around. What? You gotta answer questions. Oh, yeah. Tate, you sit where Danny's sitting. Titus and KB move to the couch. Okay. And then Dave and pft. Dave, you could come sit right here. PFT will come sit and we'll do the draft. You can fit two on this yet. Kate, will you get up for the draft? Yes. Dave, you sit right here. We have headsets. Very loud. Mm. What? We have to dress as twins. We put on a headset. Yeah. We have to dress as twins on the yak this week. And we went to Ross and this was the only thing they had two of. I'm not proud of it. Why are you dressed like that? Super Bowl. That makes sense. How you feeling, Dave? Great. You feeling confident? Yep. I saw Eddie asked you if you thought they would. Eddie's a dummy. The couldn't feel better. I love being back in the mix. How are you feeling about the poop race? Have you actually. I think I should get a five to seven yard head start. You haven't been training them. Tell me how much because I said that in the last 10 years, I. I would be shocked if you've. I can run 0.89 miles. So then you're fine. That doesn't help you with this? This is a 40 yard dash, right? I have been Like, I couldn't even run. Like, I have been running, so you. But I haven't been sprinting. How many times did you run? Oh, I've run a lot. Really? Like to the point where I had to stop because my knees were hurting. I go. So, like, one day off. Two. Two off, one on that side because I'm trying to run tunnel to towers 5k. So I've been. I've been getting in shape for that, which is in the summer. So. Yeah. But I mean, I. I can't. I'm not fast, so. But he's not fast either. So I. I think I should get maybe 4 to 5 yard head start. 6 yard head start, because you have to make it one of these. And last time I ran, I pulled my hamstring on the field outside of Milton. Are you concerned with that? Yes. But, yeah, like, the last, the last, I think physical challenge was Dallas Braden. Yeah. I quit physical challenge. I've done a couple. I really get a. I feel like these are a lot of. A lot of noise on the. Yeah. Have you been jogging, running? Yeah. How long? Point eight. Why? Zero point eight. That's as far as I can go. Can't go one. What happened? What happens? What happens? I. I shut it down. What do you wear when you run? Just because I want to know. I. I have shorts and, like a T shirt, and I, I honestly, I'll pick a four, four minute song. Hearts on Fire, generally like Rocky and then whatever comes next. But I know I get to get through two songs. But I couldn't do more than point oh, one to start, so I just keep extending. But you do 0.01. 0.01. Like, what do you, like? Was there a point where you would just run for like half the block? So you're basically like a paraplegic guy learning how to rewalk. I'm building up my endurance. So how many times have you run a 40 yard dash for. You're. You're racing 40 yards today, right? This will be your first 40 yard dash. Yes. But I just know I'm gonna stretch a lot. I won't get hurt. All right. I think it. If we want to make close, I think it should be. I probably like a five yard head start. So you go 35, he goes 40? Yes. All right. Or yeah. Or he goes 45. I go, whatever. But I, I don't think he's like, lightning quick. He's a big dude. But I definitely need a head start if we want there to be some drama and stakes and things like that. Have you seen him yet? Have you met him yet? No, I haven't. Is he done playing football? Yeah. Is he. He's not gonna be the NFL. No, he. Wait, he's a defensive player. Defensive tackle. Defensive tackle. That wasn't mean by me. He's definitely not gonna be. No, he's not. Yeah, he wouldn't. I don't think he'd be doing this if he was. Have you met him? Haven't met him yet. Excited to, though. Yeah, Jamu guy, Big time. Okay, so we're drafting teams for the flag football tournament tonight. What's at stake, Tate? All right, so two things. 1, 35, 000 to the winning team. Wow. You guys get to divide that up however you want. The winning captain. Yep. So is that 35, 000 cash or Draft Kings DraftKings to use on the Super Bowl. Great. So you got. So as the coach, you guys can determine your MVP. Could get all 35, 000. You could dock others. You guys can do one big bet on the Super Bowl. You can get everyone. I will tell. I will say right now that whatever my. Whoever ends up being on my team, we will be using all 35,000-betting on tails, and then we will split it. Wow. That will be the. That will be if you're playing for my team. So coach decides to split. Also at home, DraftKings has a $10,000 free to play. We have selections. Who's going to be the mvp, who's going to score touchdowns, will Bosco score, stuff like that. So get on. On DraftKings, it's a free to play with $10,000. Whether Bosco will score. Yeah. Do you know what Bosco told me last night? Do you see the Bosco interview with pfd? Riveting. No, Bosco didn't. We had an interview. Yeah, it looked like an interview. I reposted. I posted it today. Certainly looked like an interview. When was this? You were in it. Oh, is it Terry and Jerry? Yeah. Got it. Oh, okay. What'd he say? He was asking how he came to Barstool. It's a very funny clip. Okay, I'll have to check it out. Bosco said you haven't seen this clip. I haven't seen it. You'll. You'll. If you like Bosco, you'll love them. If I love Bosco. But he said to me last night, he was. He was ranting and raving about Johnny Fanta. NBA Johnny. And then I asked him if he likes Jeff Goodman. He said they're civil. It's like, what of all the people fantas loved, Right? Yeah. Goodman is the worst of the worst relationship. Yeah. So he got serious. Bosco. Yeah, we're getting, like, a whole business. Dave was, like, running everything at that point, and he's like, yeah, we're getting, like, a whole business team behind us, and we're looking to expand and hire. And I was like, yeah, that sounds like a great idea. I would. I would love to be part of that. But, no, I didn't think that it was going to be, like, the size that it is now, But I did think that it was. It had a lot of potential. Good to hear. I mean, it's crazy. That was still kind of. It is kind of crazy. What are you laughing at? He brings no questions. What are you smirking at? Oh, me? Or talking to me? I think. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. I didn't expect that this was going to be, like. I didn't say anything. Barbara Walters, like. It's not Barbara Walters. We hang out, like, every week. Yeah. That was an excellent question. I would have loved to know that, too. I had some questions as well, then. Ask a question. When are the. No, no. When are the. Unreleased part of my take. Interviews don't get released. That's a good. Oh, man. We started out. Enrico, right off the bat, was like, so tell me about, like, how did you come to barstool sports? Did you ever think it was gonna be this big? I was like, I thought we were just gonna talk about prop bets. Yeah, I forgot he asked the question. Dave, I do have a question for you, though. Yeah. So all the Patriots fans go into the game. Yeah. Can I get a ticket with us? No, I got a big bet on the Patriots. No, that's a coward. I told you that. That's a coward bet. That's a coward bet. That's a like, oh, I bet on the Patriots. I can be happy if they won. That's a coward bet. You're not rooting for that. You may be, but you're not. No, no shot. It's also Hank's money because he owes Hank 40 grand. Yeah, I know. Yeah, Yeah, I know you all, but. But massive bet. Put a massive bet down. Yeah, but if he loses, it's still. I'll be very happy. Hank did a double. Agreed to a double or nothing. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't know that part of it. The whole thing's coward. No, you can't come. I don't Want. Who have you all rejected? Who asked you for. Is there anyone who's. And you said nobody. Oh, well. Yeah, well, pft. One on one. Okay. I mean, they're only Patriot fans in there. There's nothing but Patriot fans. Who had the best reaction. I mean, there are a lot of really nice. I mean, Fasoli obviously took. Made a public statement. It's a dream. Yeah. He took out, like, a report. Everybody's been very happy. I think maybe, like, the early guys who didn't know doing it, maybe they were more. But then once I got everybody. Yeah, no, I was saying that, like, you know, like, when you're growing up and you're like, hey, someday I want to play in Major League Baseball. Yeah. Like, when you're seven years old. Fasoli, when he was seven years old, was like, someday I want to work for Dave Portnoy and have him invite me to the Patriots Super Bowl. Yeah. So he literally lived his dream. We got two boxes. We got. Yeah, there it is. We got, I think 17 of us, maybe. Are you guys getting, like, a big party bus together? We haven't figured that. We gotta figure that out. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah. Because I know parking all that stuff. But again, these are things we've done. We've had the party buses before. It's crazy because, you know, I don't know how we got where we. Our place that we stayed last time we were here was very nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The Airbnb. Yeah. Way nicer than, like. Yeah. This time around. Yeah. Just kind of nuts. Yeah, it is. It is nuts being here because 10 years ago was like the. It was mere days after churning botta, so it was still six foot. It was the year that Caleb, Gaz, and Hank picked me up in Chicago with the rv and we drove across. We were doing interviews on the couch, and we couldn't. The RV couldn't get up a hill, which is not a good thing in the city. So we'd be like five minutes away from an interview, but we'd have to drive an hour and a half to, like, avoid every hour. And we also had the most ran. We had, like, Blake Bortles, Pat McAfee, Adriana Lima. That was weird that she kept Olson. It was a good time. Clay, Travis, when you. When you face. Yeah. Can I give a little preview of the part of my book that involves this super bowl here? Yeah. So Blake Bortles is writing a chapter in it, and I got to read it. And it's. It's fantastic. So everything that you would have thought. And they asked him, like, describe your first interaction with. Part of my take. And I think he thought that I was you because he said the first time I went on part of my take was at the super bowl in San Francisco. And I sat between them on this. On this bus. Yeah, yeah. And I had the Blake Bortles jersey. We have that. I have our book, and I'm in a PMT chapter and I'm kind of explaining different things. But that was the, like, bus and ripped off your Vanny Woodhead. But Vanny Woodhead came from. That's like. That was the original couch bus thing that we're doing at the super bowl that year. And Blake Bortles has that famous. But the Bond girl. Yeah. Sophie Julia Cribs. Yeah. But yeah, you could pre order our book now. We just released the pre orders yesterday. All right, we should do this draft. Yeah. You want to give us other rules? There's a couple basic rules, so you can. Are you guys writing your book? We have a ghostwriter. We are also writing our own chapters as well. I'm writing my whole book now. You're. You're sitting down. You're like opening up word processors, quite literally. That's gonna. That's gonna end you between that. Francis. Eight, nine miles. You're. You're. Francis wrote the whole book. I hated it. Oh, no. I couldn't get through a page. So you're rewriting the entire thing. What was wrong with Francis's version? Too academic or. Well, for example, he's talking about a meeting we had at Bugaton. Bugaton with Erica Bucatan. I don't know what word you're saying. The restaurant. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. He's like, we're all sitting around drinking, like, watermelon leashy martinis. It's like, what are you talking about? I love that. That's what he remembers. He wasn't there. He's writing it as Francis, not me. So it's very. For like. It's. Actually, I shouldn't say his book was not good. It just. If anyone's like, wait, I thought there's a book of barstool. It would be Francis's version of his head of what Barstool is like, I only ate sushi the entire time I was alive. Yeah. It's very flowy words. It's just not me. So I'm. I write 10 hours a day, and then in between, you run point. Yeah. Yeah. Literally. Jesus. That's a lot. I tried. I tried to give back the Advance. I was like, I don't want to do this, but there's too many commitments. The book, I think we'll be good, but it's going to take me 200 hours. Jesus. Yeah. All right. Sorry. Francis Tate. Yeah. The most basic rules. It's four on four. You guys are going to have six people on your team. So two people will be sitting. You do have the ability. One rusher, one defensive rusher will start seven yards back. And as soon as they call, you know, go, they can run. You are allowed to block. That's not normal in flag football. But we're allowed to block. Your quarterback can run once per set of downs. So that we found out in the practice game that that's really important. You're going to want an agile quarterback. And the final most important rule is no designed runs inside the five yard line. Oh, poop. Guys, playing is playing. Wow. No designed runs inside the five. So, like, when you get in on the two yard line, if you really want to just quarterback run, it's too easy. Got it. So you can't do that inside the five. Okay. Snake draft. Big Cat, you are playing. So you are already a part of your team. You're your last pick. Okay? And the order is. Brandon, Big Cat, Dave. Pft. It's a Snake draft. Okay. Okay. So here we go. Let's draft. All right, Brandon. All right. So pick number one. Well, I had a plan coming in, but I'm changing it. I think you just said agile guy. I'm going Gilly. Okay. Gilly is my number one pick. He's gonna be so high, though. So he's definitely gonna be here. Is he here already? I don't know. I haven't had eyes on it. Okay. All right. I haven't seen him. I go Gilly. But he's gonna be really high. So high he's not gonna know where he is. I don't think that's a problem. Yeah, it's true. That's how he exists. That's fair. All right, I'm gonna take Titus. Titus, welcome to the team that was on the board. Yeah. He's gonna be our quarterback. All right. Wow. Yep. He's got a good arm. That's the. Titus can play. Sweet. We're kind of old, though. You're playing, right? I'm playing. Yeah. We need you. I'll probably be blocking some youth. I can't believe I'm about to pick this guy. No. Wow. No wow. Do you know who I'm picking? I mean, that could be Smokes. Smokes Yeah. Smokes. Oh, man. Wow. It's a good pick. It's a good pick, but it's a brutal guy to hang out with. The worst. There's a lot of guys I don't want to hang out. That's why I'm in the Keys. This is a whole list of people I don't want to see. Oh, he's going to have some kind of like, saying for your team. He's going to. Yeah, it's okay. I have a nickname. Who's matched up to the first game? You and PFT are the first game. Brandon and Dave are the second. Okay, got it. Okay, so, pft, you have two picks. Okay? Two picks. I can't believe this guy's on the board. This was my one one. I wrote it down. No matter what. Hank. Quarterback, quarterback, quarterback. He wants to prove that he wasn't bad last year. I got Hank no matter what. And then I'm coming back on the Snake with Ebony. God damn it. God damn it. We said good pick for Hank. Good pick for Hank. Yeah. It wasn't good for. Okay. God damn it. It's your pick. It's your pick, Dave. Nothing but scrubs. Yeah. White socks. Dave's still on the board. Take your plan. I am playing. I mean your guys. I'm gonna take your guys out there. Dave. Who's my guy? Bosco. Yeah, it's it. Well, do you want content or do you want to try to win this game? There's 35, 000 on it. All right, fine. Yeah, I'm gonna take him. Bosco. Okay, well, now this puts me in a predicament. Shifty. Is he athletic? He's just. I made a content. Yeah, I mean, I'm. Do I want to win this game? That's the question. I just want to win this game. I just went with Bosco just to yell at him. I think I want to game. I think there's an obvious pick if I want to win this game. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'll take Marty. That's who I was going to take if I was trying to win the game. Yeah. Good pick. You wanted him. Yeah. Bad. I thought you were going to take Chase. Yeah. He shouldn't have dropped. No, well, Chase stinks. Where is. He runs a 4. 4. My whole schedule was based on drafting. Marty stole them. The rest of these guys suck. Yeah, I know. That was like. That was a fall off. Like the. That's a fall off from those. I got tricked. You can't dangle Bosco in front of me. I mean, he's. He got smokes in Bosco. What a team. Oh, that's tough. All right, Brandon, you have two picks. I do have two picks. Let's go. Bosco play college football. According to him, the spin move. Yeah. Off the interception. Hey, Cha. Where's Connor Griffin? He's right over there. He's right there. I'm going. Connor Griffin. Okay. Is he gonna wear a mouth guard? And Kyle Bauer. Wow. Okay. Jesus. All right, I'm gonna take. Connor never wins anything. Who else is on it? I'm gonna take. I'm gonna take K Dick. And we're just gonna give you as much time as you need. Titus. It does start with. I love that. Yeah, it does start with a snap and a block. Yeah, no, he's. You're gonna have as much time as you want. And Marty's just gotta get open. I'll just. I'll be. I don't know, I may be able to put some heat on the quarterback. I like poop guy. Maybe. Yeah, that'll be good. Trench. Yeah, I'll take poop guy. Andrew. Okay, so there's a bench here, clearly. Yeah, there's two guys on the bench. Is this me? Yeah. Double fix. Okay. Malisex. Athletic. Right. He's in the annoying phase. Right? Right. But he's. At least he's fast. Yeah, he looks like he ought to be fast. He's. He's an annoying person. Oh, got it. Yeah, he's got a bum ankle. Okay. But I'm gonna counterbalance that because I'm gonna go malicec. And then I'm gonna have a not annoying person. Max. Okay. Okay, Dave, you're back up. It's a good team. I like my team. I like my team a lot. Malicex said he brought cleats. Oh, awesome. Awesome. What a steal. Dana. Oh, he's on the board. Yeah. Okay, I will take Tate. Oh, yeah, that's good. Value squad. I will take Dana. I will take John Feidelberg. Nice. That's a good pick. And Stephen Shay areas. Okay, I will take. Yeah, you need. You need. You need a rational confidence guy. I'm gonna take White Sox. You gotta have someone who thinks they're. They're a pro bowler. All right, so we got Conrad, Zach, Chief, and TJ and Mincy. Wow. All right, so we gotta go. Yeah. He doesn't belong in this group at all. Are you any good? All right, I'll take Conrad. Okay. I'm taking Chief. Okay. And you got one more. That's. Yeah, he was on Chief's Chief. Yeah. What about Zach? Where are we at with Zach right now? Because he's under the weather. Oh, he's dealing with something right now. Zach's dealing with some butt stuff. Poor tj. Oh, no. Brandon just. It just. It just hit Brandon. Because I don't have any more picks because I'm picking myself. Oh, no. Yeah. What are the rule. If Zach can't go, Just go with my team. He's gonna go. We do have two people that are in line if you. If we needed. Who are they? Lucas really wants to play. Okay. And Fasoli. Oh, okay. I think those are fair. Facility. You want to play? He's doing the drone, but he won't. Zach is going to play. He's going to sleep. You got a good. You got a good vibe. Squad pfd. I'll take Zach. I love my squad. We're gonna run the football. I'm left. And who's on the board? Mincy and tj. Got to take tj. Of course. Yeah. Brandon. Jimmy Benjamin. Miss. All right. All right. So what time is this going on tonight? So poop races at 3:30 local time and then we're going right into the game. It'll be Big Cat versus PFT first and then Dave Verse. Brandon Gruden's on the call. We've got sideline reporters. The only thing I think I miss is there's no handoffs. There's no. You can't like, design a pitch out to the right, but your quarterback can scramble. My team can actually win. Also, everyone must play. I don't know if I have a question. Everyone must play. Get in. Yep. Che. You hear that, Brandon? Everyone must play. Yeah, no, I got it for one. One play. That's the current rule right now. All right. Does Connor have a mouth guard? Connor, you got a mouth guard. He does. Yep. Thumbs up. Thumbs up. I love. My team's gonna block for you. Yeah, we got a good team. He's just gonna have all day. He can't cover all day. I. I will. I mean, the best offensive lineman's not going to block my guy for more than three seconds. Oh, I think he will. Katic. No, come on. They'll just love the contact. They'll fall in love. My guy was in the playoffs. What happens if k playoff last year and they lost by 50? So did my guy. No, they actually, I was going to say, yeah, we covered. That's true. I. I'll put Max up against that guy. Guy. Okay. I think Max, he acts like he doesn't want to, like get himself hurt. He's afraid of cutting. I think you get Max out there on the field and he's gonna. He's gonna go psycho. I'm not too worried about Max. Thespian should be. Okay. Let's talk football on the show. Yeah. You want to talk something? Yeah, sure. While we're here, what are you thinking? I love the Pats. I bet you do. That was our football. What? Let me ask you this. What type of game does it have to be for you guys to win it? Great question, Dan. It doesn't matter. It will, because every super bowl is totally different, Right? So you can have Super Bowls where you think they're high scoring. They're not. Patriots beat the Rams. The game. I was in prison, what, 13 to 3 or whatever. Then we lose the Eagles 47, whatever. Nobody's stopping anybody. They're all over. Each game's an amoeba. Well, so we had Scott Zolak on who's going to be on Wednesday's pmt, and he was saying that Drake May's got to throw, like, 252 touchdowns. I actually don't agree. I think that the Patriots win with defense and running the ball. I think they're going to. I think Drake's going to have a good game. I think. If I had to guess, I think they're going to score high 20s, low 30s, and that'll be enough. But each game is so different. It's one or two bounces. Now, are you doing. Am I the only one with Super Bowls on this panel? But are you doing the thing where you're like, sam Darnold is Jets. Sam Darnold? Yes. Okay. I think that might be a mistake. I'm not saying he definitely is, but I'm not. If you said you can have one quarterback in this game, it's not a question. You're taking the MVP of the league. Matthew Stafford's not playing. They have. They haven't announced it. The top two choices. The top two choices are Drake May and Matthew Stafford. Yeah, but Matthew Stafford's pretty. It's a nice career achievement. Pretty much a lot. It's a career achievement award. Do you think there's a chance of a blowout either way? No, no, no. I think it's gonna be very close all the way through. Every Patriot super bowl is. There's been no blowouts. Every single Patriot super bowl, they're the best. Best thing to happen to basically media because every game comes down to the last drive. What? So this year, obviously, is different. You bought a Suite. Yes. Which you didn't have the money to buy. Yeah. Split with Isner. Has it dawned on you, like, if, if you lose and you bought a suite that's like an extra. Well, yeah. In the size. Yeah. Plus I win. 1.8 million if they win. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. 50. 50 to win. 1.8 million. The suite is a write off. That's fine. I'm happy to do it. And, and not, not actually a write off. A mental write off. It's a mental. It actually, it actually probably is a write off. Oh. I mean, we're bringing all our employees. Content will be made. I can probably write that off. Not write off, but be like a deduction. Yeah, it was part of it. Yeah. Yeah. I probably so. No, I'm excited again, I, I for everyone here. I hope you guys get to enjoy it one day. I mean, there is nothing like super bowl week. Are you worried at all about Drake's shoulder? No, no. I think the rest will help. Are you going to go to parties? Because this is also your oldest Super Bowl. Yep, yep, yep. So I'm out of that. But I, we DraftKings, obviously, huge sponsor. They get a couple events. We are going to go with them. Chain smokers Saturday. We'll schmooze, we'll do our thing. 50 Cent on Friday. My good friend Bob Kraft texted me. Well, I said, I, I texted him. I go that hall of Fame, man, we'll start our own. He says, I'm just worried about number seven. Do you want to come to my, like, our team party? So a lot of things going on. Balls in the air. We got a lot of people here, so we're going to be moving as a group of 17 probably towards the end of the week. Do you think the hand job cost Bob Kraft the Hall of Fame? No, I, no, that would be a very expensive hand job. Yeah, I know. I mean, I think there's people like Polian and I do have clown shirt polying face place in my hotel room that will be broken out later. There's hatred for the Patriots because they're great. I actually think Bob Kraft is probably a little bit relieved because it would have been kind of awkward if he got in and Belichick didn't this year. It would have been a lot of talk pitting him against each other. Yeah, I don't know that he would have cared about that necessarily, but it would have been a storyline. Yeah. 100 a storyline. And it's crazy. The only two people who got leaked are those two guys, again, the NFL. Are you worried at all that. That this is setting up where there might be a chance that Brady is not a first ballot hall of Famer? Because I don't know how you can rationalize those guys not getting in. And he does. Yeah. Because he actually, like, the flake gate was him, not Belichick. So I don't really personally care. I think it's crazy. I don't know people. Brady's kind of turned that corner. Besides that Instagram post he did the other day, that was crazy. But people love him. They still don't love Kraft and they still don't love Belichick. Of all the people you invited to the super bowl, who has the highest chance of being the main character of the weekend? Fasoli. Dana. No, I mean Fasoli. Fasoli is obviously. We got a lot of true blue, like Patriot fans who are just there for the game. Dante is an absolute wild card. Oh, is Dante invited? Yeah. Okay. Because he, he. I've described a lot like we're kind of. I feel like I'm picking up my old musket and going back out there. Dante will never recover from whatever he's gone through in his life. He's. He's go. I'm laughing. But it's. It's true. There's a little. Yeah, he, he's not there at all. Like, he's totally. But he's also more. He's more entertaining than he's ever been. Yeah, but he, he, he does. He's. He's brain dead. Have you seen our other. Our other guy in our office, Chef Donnie, who's a star. I have seen some of him. He's quite something. Yeah, he's. It's like one of those guys that you don't know that you have to. Him and Mikey Betts are the two guys, like hiding under a rock. And you're like, how is this. Yeah, especially Donnie, because we've had. He's been here for a long time. He was going to a. He was getting hypnotized twice a month in New York and taking pills that his hypnotist gave him that he didn't know was in him. Limitless pills. He just. And he had not told a person about this until last week. Yeah. Strange. Yeah. Okay. All right, Dave. Pft. We'll see you tonight. Night. I'm actually. What time's the poop race air? 3:30. 3:30. So. So 6:30 Eastern Time. 5:30 Central. And then right after is going to be flag football. Do the free to play on DraftKings. Oh, yeah. Wait, what the viewers. Oh, yeah. Do the. Free to play. Please sign up. Free to play. We'll have everything set up. And yeah, Gruden will be on the call. Who else is on the call? Nick's on it. Kate's on it, Eddie's on it. Love it. It's gonna be great. It'll be good. All right. I think we have a special guest too. I don't know if I can say it, but we. Oh, what's the little celebrity? I think. Oh, like a real one? I think so. Can I just say it? Yeah. I was told Matthew Barry's coming. Oh, yeah, yeah. That is a loose, loose, loose word term. Real celebrity to be at the booth. When you said Matt, I thought McConaughey was the next word coming out. That's Barry. That's a step that was che of, I think fun. When he shows up, can I say his name? Oh, man, you did so, so well, dude. So close. So close. I can name like a thousand more famous mas. That's insane. But can I mention we got big celebrity. Yeah. He's not top 10. No, that. Remember last time we were in San Francisco, who was a celebrity who thought we were having a party and, like, was came to, like, he wanted to come to our apartment. Oh, yeah, he showed up to our apartment. Who was that? Like, we're not touring. It was some random person we never met. Oh, man. Like, it was a comedian. I completely forgot about that. He kept on and, like, his, like, rep was reaching out, being like, hey, he wants to come party with you guys. We're like, we're literally in an Airbnb. Hank is sleeping on the couch. Like, we're. Who was that guy? Holy, what a different world. It was 10 years ago. Yeah, yeah. It was just four. And then. And then get all time gas move. I don't know if this has been said, but all time gas move. It was me, Dave, Caleb, Gaz, Hank. Hank. Gaz. And Hank were editing everything. Gaz just didn't bring his computer. So he literally looked at Hank the first day and he was just like, I don't have my computer, so you're just gonna have to edit. Hank didn't sleep a single second. He had to edit every single video. We did incredible. All right, I. I had to run to an interview as well. So. Joey Avery's here and Dana's here. Yeah, Joey. All right. Is Dana here? Yeah, Dana's right there. All right, come on in. Dana in there. Dana, Joey Brand, even Joey, you want to rip the DraftKings read. Yeah, I rip the DraftKings Ready? All right. Drafting Sportsbook, the number one sportsbook for live betting is making every snap, every drive, every moment of Super Bowl 60 count with DraftKings Live Millions featuring over $5 million in prizes just for betting live. We're in San Francisco right now for this Super Bowl. Where do you think San Francisco ranks for super bowl cities? We got to go through the week, I guess. Yeah. The stadium's an hour away. Yeah, it's. It's not last. It's not last. It's not. It's probably not first right off the rift, but it's. It's been fine so far anyway. DraftKings. Place a live beta, $1 or more on the super bowl, and you're automatically entered. That's it. Every live bet means another chance to win. 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See official rules@sportsbook.draftkings.com promos for entry period and free method of entry. Sponsored by Crown Gaming, Inc. Dana. Joey. What's up, boys? Dana B. Joey. I'm Dana. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you as well. You're so orange. Is it? Or it looks. I think you're olives. It look bad? I think. I don't think it looks that bad. I think you look. Yeah, it's a good orange. You look kind of great. It looks good. Awesome. You look kind of great. It looks awesome. Kind of amazing. Jacked and tan. Me and Dana went to a bar yesterday and I was telling Joey about it, and it's his favorite bar. Really? Leo. Dude. Dude. I had so much fun in half an hour. It's so funny cuz I was talking to Nick about being here all week and the one wreck I was going to give him him is go to Lipo. I honestly think it's the greatest bar. Dana filmed content with the bartender. Consuela. I don't think that's her name. No chance. But she introduced herself as Consuela. What is it about Leap? Yeah, yeah. What's so great? It's like a Chinese dive bar. I don't know how else to put it. It is a Chinese dive bar. There's two floors. So you walk in and it's just like an old school incredible dive. Right In Chinatown in San Francisco they make Chinese Mai tais. I don't know. There's like gasoline in them. Yeah. Literally can't have three legally. I don't think it's ins. It smells like. But it smells like pure. I went downstairs to piss and I was ankle deep in sludge. Yes. The bar itself smells like everything you guys are describing. A great place you gotta go to losing incredible. I gotta check this out. It's a short walk. What you guys didn't experience is when it's really popping off. You have the bar area and everyone's vibing at the bar downstairs. There's a completely different environment that feels like a house party. And there's someone serving drinks off of like a card table. I didn't even see the. The downstairs. That's where the sludge was. You had to like wade through it. I wouldn't recommend it. Do people like walk around with. With buckets of food or like chicken on a stick? That's your next question. Well, there's a bar in Chinatown in Boston. Or it might not be in Chinatown, but it's called Hong Kong. And I know that sounded bad, but it's got to be in Chinatown, right? And they walk around. They have people that walk around with like chicken on a stick and you can just grab one and eat it. What about the buckets of food? Yeah, there's like wontons and. And you thought every bar. Every bar in every Chinatown had chicken on a stick walking around? Possibly. You never know. Have you dropped those reviews yet? No, not yet. I'm banking them. Yeah. What's. You said there was like Chinese version of Malort? Yes. Baiju. Never heard it. Horrible. It was it worse than Malort? Have you had Baiju? I've not had. You gotta go this week and go and have It. It'. I was peeing in the disgusting bathroom and I heard you heaving. Yeah, it was worse than the Lord. And then. Did she call you fat boy? She said so fat Choy is some type of something you say for the year of the dragon. And I thought she called me fat boy because I came up and you were like, don't call me fat boy. Yeah, she's awesome. The real San Francisco Malort is Fernette. Okay. Is that like the Italian? Yeah, yeah, I've had that. Yeah, they drink it everywhere. This, it's the same thing as. As Malort in Chicago. It's like the bartender handshake. But everyone drinks for that out here. I've had that before. It's good. Yeah, it's a little mouthwashy, but it's good. You've had Fernet, but not a big match. Regular sandwiches. Oh, I'm getting killed for fish and chips. Yeah, I posted yesterday. I can understand that one because I'm from Massachusetts and you said in your video, no better place to try fish and chips for the first time in San Francis. Yeah. As a native Massachusetts guy, I texted Mama Beers confirmed. And she said yeah, you just never. You hated seafood growing up. So what do you think's the most popular food still on the board that you haven't tried yet? Yeah, like there's a certain chain that I don't think I can talk about, but it's very popular. Okay. Starts with a P. And it's not pizza. Oh. Is it a sailor that loves spinach? Yeah. Yep. I know. Yep. Are you okay? No. I don't think that one's crazy. I think. I think that chain's more regional than you'd think. Is it. Is it not national? We didn't have any by us. Had it growing up. No. Wow. Okay. We. We had. We have three. A town. I know. Have you been into in n out? Yes. See, that would. Yes, that'd be a good one to do now. But it would be disingenuous cuz I have had it. So it be a bad one to do. Bad one to do. But if. If you're like Mark and you just think I'm lying about everything, it'd be a good one. People don't like you. I think the issue is yours is always the open seat. Yeah. And so they sit next to you and it's just easy to point to. I don't think so. I don't get it. I think so. Thank you, Kyle. Have you had shrimp also? I'm on your side. I understand. I Don't understand. I, I. I've told you you should lie. I'm not accusing you of lying. I'm saying you're not lying. And that pisses me off, because you could get free stuff. You could set. You could put out a tweet. Right now, I'm looking to try a tomahawk steak for the first time in my life. Does anybody in San Francisco have any suggestions? And you will get a free one tonight. Yeah, but that's, like, mint. I'm not a mincy, you know. Yeah. I want to work hard for my meals. What happened with this, by the way? The kimono? Yeah. Well, look at it. We were supposed to be kimono brothers. Oh, Dana. I bought a more expensive one. I regretted my purchase. It was a little scratchy. It wasn't 100% silk. So I went back and I bought a better one for myself. And I wish you didn't say that, because that was supposed to be a gift for Titus. Yeah. But I have a. I have a really nice one now. Yeah, this one's nice. It's not bad. This one's not bad. I like it. I thought the dragons looked a little. Dragons play no matter what. Yeah. I don't mean to be a piece of. But isn't the. Isn't kimono Japanese? Yes. Okay. Yeah, but the woman was walking us around. She was saying, that one's the Japanese cut. Male or female? Have you tried yours on Dana? Yeah. Stragon has your eyebrows. The waste of $80. Why? It's not comfortable. When am I gonna wear it? All the time at home. Yeah. Yeah, but you have to be, like, a robe guy. I'm not a robe guy. Because you don't have a robe. Yeah. You could walk around eating buckets of food. I see you as a rope guy. You do seem like a rope. Yeah. Your boxers and, like, a white shirt, and then the robe is just open and untied. I wish you could just walking around, you could just do it. Okay. Yeah. I don't. I don't want to force being someone I'm not. Dana, massive news in your life last night. You fell in love, and I watched it happen at the dinner. Oh, with us. With. Yes. What's his name? Kyle. Oh, no. And then I fell in love with Ceru after we talked about Orlando Magic basketball for, like, an hour at a. At a bar. Yeah. Rosilla's producer. We're at dinner. Kyle, I worked with at the Ringer forever, and he's. He's, like, semi nervous to meet everybody. I don't know. He's just, like, new at the company he wants, and I. And so I made sure you sat by each other because every time I've talked to you about him, I was like, you guys are the exact same person. And it was. It was fascinating to watch you fall in love because, like, within 10 minutes, you were both just, like, looking at me like, I fucking love this guy. So they. They both. They're the only two people I know that would stand up in the middle of a bar at a nice dinner and go back to. Back to see who's taller. Yeah, they did. It also wasn't even close. It wasn't. Why did they have to do that? It's a bonding ritual. I don't know. They met each other within 20 minutes of meeting each other. They're, like, taking their shoes off and going back to back. But they're not, like, fighting about it. They're just curious. They're like, yeah, I wonder. Yeah, man. I don't know. Like, kind of. Yeah. Let's see it. Let's see. And then by the end of the night, you're out there smoking cigarettes with them. I've had in a long time. But Dana's requirement to fall in love is. Big guy likes to drink beer. Yeah. And that's Kyle. That's. That is Kyle. You. Yeah. Yeah. So I. I was very excited about that. I played matchmaker, and it worked. They're awesome guys. I didn't really get. Get to talk to Rosilla much, but that's probably for the best. I would have made a fool of myself. Kate, did you black out? Good question. Pivot right there. Yeah. Wait, what do those arms do that you just did on the float? The. The flute? Oh, they go out to the side. What's that do? Play it, Dana. Taste. There's holes on it. Insidious pay. Stall it. What does that mean? Insidious pace. It's a really. Other end. Other end, where the mouthpiece is o. Move the. Move the. The wings. I don't like that. There's a paste on it. Paste on it? Detestable ear wax. Oh. I mean, that's not bad. You know, could the other people at the bar last night, you think you just smoked something? Yeah. What? I think it's worth other people at the bar last night. Was it mostly, like, people tourists for the Super Bowl? Because Anthony Bourdain has been to that bar, right. And, like. Or was it mostly locals? They were the only people. There was no one there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're the only people. Okay. Okay. I don't know if it was like hopping it on the weekends it goes, but yeah. On a Monday night. Why is that your favorite bar? Dude, it's just a magical vibe that's hard to describe. I used to, when it was my birthday and I lived here, I would literally just be like, everyone meet at Lipo. We would just party. I think it's the Chinese Mai tai. It gets you a special kind of drunk. It was. It was incredible. Puts you in a mood. Happy mood. I went into a bar last night that had no one in it. It was just me and the bartender and I think he was trying to close. And I like. Do I talk to him? Do I look at my phone? Do I. You're able to find awkward situations anywhere. Yeah. What did you end up doing? That was it. How late were you out? I made it home by midnight, I think. Okay. So it wasn't too crazy. It was kind of roaming, chatting people up. Kb, what are you getting into? How'd you do yesterday after the show? Just walked around. There's a weird swagger about this city. Everyone's covered in a malaise and dressed like an Etsy craft. Everyone looks like you can buy them from a craft store. It's cool then. It's not ugly. But it's not attractive, which I appreciate. It's. It's attainable. Yeah. Everyone is a city. Well. Yeah. I would love you to talk to Malasak. Malas says no baddies. There's nobody. There's no woman. That's an eight in his book. It seems like he. From what I can gather, from what I'm hearing, he cannot see the city outside of his personal politics. Exactly. Right. Which is weird because he is a gay man. Gay man. Oh, he's a self loathing. Jake Malek is a gay man who hasn't come out yet. Right, I see. Who doesn't know he's a gay man. This would be a very frustrating place to be if that's the situation. Political beliefs of my 74. 5 year old Uncle D. That's right. Asexual. No interests beyond like the logistics of sporting events. Yeah. He made a video as soon as he got here and said this city's not much to look at. How could you say one of the most to look at cities. It's all gorgeous. There's looks everywhere. Every perspective is like stunning. Yeah. People's brains have broken about this because people have used San Francisco to make whatever political point they want to make for several decades. Decades. But if you can just experience a city and. Yeah. Not be obsessed with that, it's kind of hard to say. It's not much to look at. Are you a San Fran, guys? Yeah, yeah, I'm here. I grew up closer to San Jose Silicon Valley, but I lived in the city for, yeah, seven years. I. So there was a pizza place that we. That I was going to, and I put it in Google and I went to the wrong one, and I ended up in, like, very bad drug area area. Yeah. People slumped all over the place. Yeah. Were you in the Tenderloin? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. So the interesting thing, if you come here to visit, you will spend 90% of your time in probably the worst areas because it's like, the middle of the city. And even the street we're on is a little bit rougher than some of the areas that you spend time in when you live here. But that could be said for any major city. Yeah, they all have barns like this. It is true. And, you know, like, I was afraid when I first moved here because I up, grew. Grew up outside of the city. And I was like, am I going to get attacked? And my uncle who lived here was like, there's people on drugs, but they're really more focused on themselves. And I found that to be true. They're just doing their own thing. They collect at the bottom of the hills. They can't make it up. There was a dude, like, eating Butterfinger bbs and, like, UNO cards were spilling out of his pocket. That's a nice day. And there was two separate homeless guys singing the same chant. Dentistry, dentistry. I want to perform dentistry. Is that a San Francisco thing or is that a. Like, must be, like, on the. The local charts, the homeless charts. Did you hear that new song about dentistry? Two different neighborhoods. Dentistry. I want to perform dentistry. It was not the same guy. Not the same guy. Not the same neighborhood. And coming in at number one this week, Dentistry. Dentistry. To be on the local chart. Dana, were you with me when the bearded woman came up to me? No. You told me about it. Okay. She thought I was Seth Rogan. That was cool. That is cool. It was a bearded woman. Yeah. That's a compliment. How bearded? Yeah, tremendously. Yeah, tremendously. A tremendous woman. See that? I didn't. I didn't know how she began. It was like 50. 50. Yeah. Tried to put you in a little San Francisco trap there. Right on out. So I'm curious, K.B. you've just been kind of wandering and observing while everyone else is hanging out together. $300 worth of who's. I just cannot stop. Addicted to way Solitude. Yeah. Like, I'm. I'm going up the hills. The knob hills. Yeah. Alone. Yeah. It's like. I don't know. Maybe I'm weird for this. I think it's perfect. So you're just watching from inside of the car. It's like a free Tour without any 300. You have to put a destination in or you just like. I just go as far to the city limits and then back. And then back. I've taken hours. It's so nice. I put on Frank Ocean and like, the windshield fluid started squirting. Personalized to me. You should see if you can get dentistry. I gotta look that up. Yeah. Is that something. Is that a commercial here? I've never heard of it. Okay. Are waymos a lot more expensive than an Uber? No, it's been cheaper for me. Oh, I got to work up the nerve. Ubers are very cheap here. I've seen them everywhere. They take a $5 uber somewhere the other day. I've been taking the Bart and it's fine. Yeah. Really? I've seen anything crazy? Yeah. So far so good. That the bus line? No. So, like the subway okay. Yeah. Yeah. So you can take it, you know, under the bay and go to Oakland and all that. It's notoriously. People are like, ooh, Bart. But it's very similar to the subway in New York, I think. Time of night. You might not want to be like, super late on it, but seen a lot less penis here than New York. Oh, I saw penis. Oh, you have. Right in front of our hotel. Oh, yeah. There was a guy jerking off one of the hotel. Yeah. But his butt cheeks were pressed against the window, which is funny. Is he one of our guys? Yeah, it was security guard Pat. It was just blue eyes. Keep it moving. It is a good way to keep people away from Dave and Big Cat. Yeah. Just trying to go tail. Come on. There was a barstool employee who farted at the bar last night, and it was a rancid. Who it was? I have. I believe it was somebody. Who were you sitting next to? I believe it was Tate. You believe Tate farted at the bar? He fart. We did it after dark two weeks ago, and he was farting. And they were the worst smelling farts. Smell the same. They smelled very bad. I don't know. One of the worst farts I've ever. And everybody cleared the bar pretty well. Everybody. No, but I was. It was. I will tell you if I fart and I know bar farters because that should be a sacred space for no farts. So you know Tate's smell. He denied it, but it was right by him. And he immediately moved, like, towards the door. And all the other people who weren't with us in the bar also were like, oh, my God, like, the whole bar. He continued to deny it. You were there, right? Yeah. I don't remember smelling that, though. It might have been outside. You could taste it. Brutal. I thought you went and did your own thing. I went. I went with everybody first, and then I walked. You went to another. I walked home. I. I walked to the restaurant and to the bar, and then I walked home. Holy shit. And so on my meanderings, I was like, oh, this looks interesting. This looks interesting. I don't know how y' all handle these hills on the walks. They're just gigantic. Morbidly obese. Oh, boy. She was blending right in with the slump, people. Yeah. Going to the bottom. I can't believe we have to play football. It's. Meanwhile, Jay is looking forward to it more than anything in his life. It's ego therapy for men's confidence therapy. It's athlete larping. Yes. Like, Brandon, you really want to lead your team to victory, don't you? No, I want to do other stuff here. But, Kyle, you're on my team. I got an exciting. I think it'll be fun. Okay. All right. When you get out there, you'll get in. You'll get in the groove, right? Absolutely. Yeah. We're flying people out for one night to play in this. We're flying Miny. I think Mincy and Smokes and kick landed at 12. They're going to have to go straight. They're going to Uber straight to the football field, and I think they're flying out tomorrow morning. I was. I was waiting for Miny to show up at that free dinner out of nowhere last night. I don't know. Yeah. Now, did any of you make it? I heard rumblings of a strip club. Were any of you part of that? No. No. Almost. Kyle, Ch and I just were dying to Waymo. We sprinted outside. Waymo? Is that a separate app? You got a Waymo? Get the Waymo. Yeah. Going to a strip club with your co workers. I love you guys, but I don't want to see any of you get ground upon. I don't. I don't. Yeah. I don't want to see Luke as hard as a. Yeah. I don't know. I don't drooling. He would not be hard. Lucas reaching for a titty. I don't want to see his technique achieving a titty. I don't know, Kyle. Talking about grinding on the ground around. I kind of want to see that. Yeah. I was in college. Are you a strip club guy? Have you been to many here in San Francisco? I. No, no, I went to one because they used to have an open mic there. So you'd go as a comedian and try out your. For like an hour before the strippers came. And it was a horrible thing for the community because you'd lose so much money, you know. Oh, yeah, it's a Monday night there, you know, and then we're like, oh, we'll stay and watch them dance a little bit. And then everyone would lose their money. But no. How was the crowd of, like, horny men? Yeah, they didn't. You know, it was definitely a good place to get better at comedy because you really got to learn to entertain someone who's half bricked, waiting for someone interesting to. To come on, you know? And then the. The, like, the girls would come in and they'd be getting ready to take over, and whoever was on stage would just start bombing their face off because they'd get so nervous, like, she's beautiful. I love her, you know? Yeah, it was horrible. Is there a flavor to the strip clubs? You're like, I know in Portland, there's like the vegan strip club and Atlanta had like, vegan strip club. Google it. I'm not making this up. Artisan titties. Crash fed titties. Titties don't produce milk. They can't. The only one I ever went to here was the one with the show, and it was the Condor. And its whole claim to fame is it's actually. Actually the first titty bar in, like, the country or something. Oh. So I think. I'm sure, like, Mark Twain was up in that, like, I don't know. Dude, Gold Rush D was always doing that crane, you know, Imagine dudes throwing little gold nuggets at you on stage. That would be awesome. I would have been all about it. Yeah. Who was the. They probably don't want to be outed as the strip club guys. I don't know. I didn't. I didn't hear those rumblings. I mean, McCarthy had to be part the of of it. You think? So McCarthy's always a spearheader of these things. He's always. He's always getting in groups together and going. So McCarthy's definitely a leader if. If There's a suspect from the strip club. It's. It's McCarthy. No, cuz he was off to get a prostitute. That's right. He said I want a legitimate. Yeah, that's right. He's a real slime ball, that guy. Stevie C, you've been mom, birthday boy. Like he went it. No, I didn't. I mean, I went home. Bus called, called in an early night mic. It's not working. That's too bad, cuz that hair would light up a strip club. Yes, it would. Go for it. He'd be the bell of the. Have you seen the back of his jersey? I. Yes. I was here for the reveal. I think that's good. That's going to play out here. How many name plates do we have? Do we have one for every day? We have letters so we can make whatever we want. I wish we could change the numbers though, because I wanted body count. Mark, did you just get some exciting news? I did get some exciting. What? Eating a donut in a kimono rules. That's awesome. Mike Conley traded to the Bulls. Whoa. He's gonna. He's gonna work for us. I think he's. He doesn't get enough appreciation. Right? I don't know. Incredible career. Incredible career. We did need a new point guard for the Juggernauts. Juggernauts just upgraded. We got Mike Conley instead of Tate. Yeah. Like at what point? Like next year, it's. None of you guys are going to be on the. Oh, no. Big Cat's already. I don't know if he's talked about on here, but he's already recruited at least one player who used to play at Wisconsin, so that's one spot. Dana, I think you'll always have a spot, though. I'll have a spot as the videographer. Like, I know. I can see it being a complete. Like, we'll. We'll be the. What those guys are doing now, like Betty Ako. That'll be. They'll go to the Juggernauts. You're. You're going to do what college basketball teams are doing. Sign professional players. Yes. But you're also going down a league next year, right? Yeah. That's funny. All the pros. Yeah. Have Mike Conley play point guard in the Sea League. Yeah. No Big Cat's pull. Pulling some strings. Oh, man. Yeah. How's that donut? It was good. I'm. I'm very hungry. I'm looking at. I was looking very, very hungry. I don't know. Foli, can you give me a Donut, please. The food here is surprise, crazy good. Yeah, yeah. Joey, where do I get the sourdough bowl with the clam chowder? Just anywhere. Literally anywhere. Or is that like a. That's a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had that? I've had sourdough and clum chowder. Oh. But not together. That sounds amazing. Sourdough bowl. I'm sure there's, like, a authentic, like, local place to get it. But I know that if you're in Fisherman's Wharf, which is very touristy, you go to Boudin, and Boudin has, like, giant sourdough bowls. They also make sourdough into, like, alligators and all sorts of different animals. You can get a sourdough bear. And if you go to Fisherman's Wharf, I would say go to the Buena Vista Cafe. It's where they invented the Irish coffee. No. And it slaps. I went there to go to the magic shop. Shop. Oh, really? Yeah. Great. Magic shop down there. Tricks. Nice. Really? Yeah. I went b. I went. Yeah. You got to buy a trick when you come to San Francisco. Karno. To pick a car. Yeah. Dude, I got a shrimp Louie. Unbelievable. What's a shrimp Louie? Salad. It's just all shrimp. That's it. Yeah. Bowl of shrimp. It was just all pink shirts. Shrimp. Pink shrimp. Yeah. How many shrimp was it like? You got to get the shrimp Louie. All right, I'll get the. From where? Pier something. Okay. One of the pier. It's a bowl of pink shrimp. 25 Pier 25, Pierce. 20 something. It's got to be 25. Why? Because that's where I went. And you got pink. You got a bowl of pink. I got fish and chips. Titus, if you're a sourdough guy, there's a place called Red's Java House, and it's this tiny hut just, like, sitting on the bay, and they do burgers on sourdough. All right, R. Write that down. Write down right now, Red's Java Hunt. Okay. I think Java House. Red Java House. Red Java House. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joey, what else you been up to? What's the latest? I've been. I took a little break from touring. I've been in LA filming a show, which has been. Which is why I have this goatee. The tightest shad on. When I was off camera, Kate just kept bringing up goatee. And I look over at Kate and I see your goatee just right over her shoulder. And I was like. I knew it was coming. I felt it. Like, I was like, this joke has to Lead to me, and I'm about to wear it. But, yeah, I've been pretending to be a detective. So I have this, and that's been super fun, and we're rapping on that. And then I'm gonna go back out on tour and. Yeah. Getting my special edited. Hopefully releasing in the next month or so. Where'd you shoot it? I shot it right here in San Francisco. San Francisco Punchline, which is my strip club. At the strip club. Yeah, there's. Yeah. No, I shot at the San Francisco Punchline, which is a cool, like, historic club here that Chappelle loves and pops in all the time. It's a little 180 seater. It's. It's cool. Very cool. What's your typical facial hair? I mean, until a few months ago, I've never had any because I didn't think I could grow it. And then I didn't realize you just got to, like, grind it out for a solid goatee. Yeah. So thank you. I'm proud of it. I had my, like, first beard, and then I got this show, and they shaved the tea to a goatee, and my wife was like, guess we're doing this. And you play a detective. Yeah. Is that. I don't like in. I don't think detectives have goatees is what I'm saying. I don't like thinking hair, like. Yeah, mustache. I think a mustache. I thought that's what was gonna happen. But basically, I auditioned for this thing. I show up, you know, day one, and I had, like, a little beard situation. I had, like, kind of more of a mohawk thing. And they just didn't really ask me any questions. Just started what they wanted, and we're like, the producers like this. And you will now look like this for five months. Hell, yeah. Yeah. Where's that been filming? It's been mostly in L. A, but. But we have a little bit more to shoot in the Keys. Okay. Going to the Keys in a couple of weeks, which I'm pumped it was on the cast with you. Yeah. So it's season two of this show called Bad Monkey. So season one is out, but, yeah. Vince Vaughn is. Is the big dog on the cast. Wow. Which is pretty crazy. Yeah. Pretty crazy. Yeah. He's unreal. I mean, I was just, you know, we're, like, sitting, wasting time, waiting for our shot to be up and just, like, sitting next to him. He's just as entertaining as you'd think. Have you gotten close with him? Like, I don't know that he'll be, like, hitting me up to go rip beers. But we were, we were hanging out on set and I was like, that's a win for like a group chat with him. I'm not in a group chat. But who, hey, after the Keys, who knows? Yeah, you're right. After the Keys change everything. We're going to put on a comedy show when we rap shooting in the Keys and he said he would come, so. Okay, I'll take. That's a win. You're doing great, Kyle. You have flag football coming up. You're fine. Oh, you were, you were a third round selection of the barstool. Flag football. Oh, you guys. Trivia man. Oh, you're the kryptonite to my biological clock. Kyle. Your third team all dozen brother. Preseason Preston season for 13. Preseason. Come on. LARPing, dude. Achievement. LARPing. Do you like the, do you like acting? Do you like the process of doing a show like that? Yeah, yeah, I, I. The minutia of being on set and all that. I mean it's definitely, there's it's so much time. So I've kind of, you know, making sure that I like bring my computer so that if I'm sitting in my trailer I can actually be productive and work on my standup. But it's awesome. I think if you're, if you like the cast and you think the writers are good, it's really fun. Cuz I'm getting scripts and I'm like, oh, this is hilarious. I can't wait to do this. But I think if I was trapped on a show where I didn't think the other actors or writers were good, it would probably be the worst experience of my life. So. Yeah. Have you gotten close with your stunt double? I've had four different stunt doubles. They keep dying, dude. And they, Dude, they just keep getting this haircut. They keep getting the last dude, I had a stunt double, they bring him in, they shave his beard into a goatee. They cut his hair so he has this weird like tail down the back that I have. And then they didn't use them. So there's just guys like wandering through LA that kind of looked like me. Goatee and a weird tan everywhere. Is that me doing a double gainer, dude? Actually, a bunch of the, some of them came up cuz last time I was on here I told a stunt double story and it made it back to the. The two Troy, the big Troy and little Troy that I told the story about and they were pumped. They came up to me on set and they were like, hell yeah. They have to be stunt doubles. Have to be some of the coolest guys. Dana, I could see you having a crew of stunt doubles like you. Did I scare you? What was that? Getting along with stunt doubles. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, jumping into and breaking stuff. You doing it. I would. I could do that. You seem like a guy that'd be like. Yeah, Four of my friends are stunt doubles. Yeah, No, I. We used to jump into trees and bushes all the time. Jump into trees? Yeah, just like the little shoulder. Would you jump off of trees? No, jump into trees. What do you mean into trees? We've had this argument. Tackle trees? Yeah, you tackle trees. That's not jumping into trees. Jump in bushes. You. You know, jump in the street signs. All that. Stop saying into. Stop saying jump. I would, like, give it a shoulder, you know, You're. You're ramming into trees. Yeah. Try and knock them down. I've rammed a street sign. I've rammed a tree, but I don't say jumping to them. Yeah, well, I rammed them. Does that sound better? Yeah, I don't know what that. Have you ever knocked a tree over? Yeah, like, little trees, dude. Little ass tree. Little tree. Yeah. I liked how you said rip beers, by the way. That was cool. I'm going start saying that. Yeah, you got to rip some beers. You. You never say. I've never said rip beers. I said. You've said that 100 times. I don't know if I've said rip beers. Rip beers is cool as. I feel like we could do a compilation of you saying ripping some beers. I think you've said every iteration of drink beer. Maybe, but not rip. You invented new ways of saying drink beer. Yeah, I did. Oh, I would like to rip beers with you someday. I would love to. Ripo. We should go to lipo. Lipo. Lipo. Lipo. Lipo. We know the. The secret words to get in there. That's real. I didn't know there were secret. Secret words to get my ties quicker, please. I don't know if I should say them or not, because people are. We should keep the secret. Yeah, we'll keep the secret. You said you guys were the only ones in there, right? But she says you come back and it's busy. You say these two words, and I'll get you served right away. Not gonna say it on air, but I heard you guys tried to go to. Because Buddha bar across the street is also. But drink some Buddha beers if you've had Buddha. I just tried the Buddha and Sing Tao for the first Time yesterday. You are just full of new. It is, dude. How about Brett? You guys talk about Brandon at dinner? I wasn't wasted. I was dapping up waiters. I was enjoying myself. I was. I was working the room. He wasn't wasted, but I loved seeing that type of Brandon. Yeah. Loose. I was in a good mood. I was sitting at the end of your table, but like arms like this, like you were holding court. You were finger gunning everybody in the restaurant. You're finger gunning like crazy. I had. I had. I had the worst seat. I was. I was with the women. I was down there by. By Kate and my wife. And I had to get. I had to get out of there, so I had to work the room. Oh, man. In the trenches. I heard they all synced up, down. Yeah, it was. Last night was a good time. Great time. What else you got planned for dinners? Well, I got. Because you did. You did your first night here. So you had to put a suit and tie on. Yeah, I did a suit and tie for the first night and a nice dinner last night. Is that. Are you going to keep it rolling? Yeah, I got a nice one tonight. Wow. Yeah, I got a nice one tonight. You got a nice one tonight. What time we getting back? I got it for 8 o'. Clock. Okay. So I figure Tate swears I'll make the 8:00 clock reservation. Okay, so I got that. But. Yeah, and then got a nice one tomorrow night. Did you get any House of Prime Ribs? No, I didn't. Don't have that one on the docket. It's a. When you come back, it's worth it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a. We were here five days. It's a remarkable food city. Yeah. Yeah. You probably come 10 times and not hit everything. Yeah. And a nickel. Probably. Probably 10 dinners here not go to every restaurant in San Francisco. I think there's like 12 to 13 restaurants. Okay. All right, TJ, we gotta do the last one. The Pepsi. Yes. All right, let's do it. We're doing a wheel to see who goes over there. Yes. Yep. Pepsi Super Bowl 60 spot brings light to a similar phenomenon of discovery and truth. And that, of course, follows up me opening this by talking about. About our trip to discovery and truth, where we find out something about ourselves, where we make changes, we reconsider. We go through these cycles of self discovery and learning what we know about ourselves. You ever done that? Learn what you know about yourself? Tried to. What do you know about yourself? I have a goatee that's good. That's a damn good start. The Pepsi paradox is an idea that when labels and biases appear, cola drinkers prefer the taste of Pepsi, a phenomenon that blind taste tests have repeatedly proven over and over. In the 2025 revival of the Pepsi Challenge, 66% of participants agreed. Pepsi Zero sugar tastes better than Coke Zero sugar. Pepsi wins on taste. Sometimes you have to flip your world upside down to discover what's been right there the entire time. You deserve taste. You deserve Pepsi Zero sugar. Let your taste aside and go try it today. Taste superiority. That's Pepsi zero sugar. And one of you is going over there and doing a blind taste test right now. Maybe. I hope it's me. I need a little carbonation. We could just send you over there, Danny. Hell yeah, you. So Danny's walking over to the Pepsi right now. See it? D.C. Goes. I hope he gets it right. All right. Yep. Chase face. Right. You have great taste. No, you have to try them first. What? Danny. What an idiot. All right. You like that one? Pretty good. Pretty good. Now just decide which one's better. One more. Oh, wow. Danny. Really? I'm gonna go with B. All right, reveal. B right now. Reveal. Both. I knew it. Thank you, Popsy. That was amazing. Can I take this with me actually? Yeah, just take it. Way to go, Danny. Hey, Brandon. Hey, Dana. You see the dozen stats just came out? All time stats. No, I didn't. I have number two in points per match. I. I have again. Dana. I'm number one and most accurate. Dana, I'm sitting right here. I haven't seen any of these numbers. I assume good. Yeah, Good. Number one and most accurate. Yep. I think that's. I'm on it too. That's a bad stat. That means you only speak up for the ones you know for sure. Yeah, you don't. That's. That's a. Those are the. You don't take any swing. Loser. I take it back, boys. Are we. We. We. Are we going to work as a team, us three? No. Yeah. All right. Is this going to be. Is this going to work? Let's have fun. There's only one ball. You know what I mean? Yeah. Can us three ball. I'm going to. Is your niche for the regular season. Three pointers. I. I talked to Jeff about doing it one time at least where my niche is shooting a three point shot. I just go out to the court. I just shoot. That's a good niche. Yeah. Yeah. Yours has been coin flips in the past, right? That's coin flips and miscellaneous this year. Miscellaneous. Yeah. Could be anything. Yeah, that's right. We'll see. Yeah. Thursday night. Thursday night. Season kickoff. This is the year the booze ponies went at all. Is what Jeff. Oh, that's what the script is. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I've heard. We're getting better every year. This is our year now. Yeah. They beat Brandon. Brandon calls you guys. He says a word he regrets that he said on the live show before. Oh, yeah. Gonna be panicked about it. You guys won last year at the super bowl, right? We did. Yeah. You guys won the. Yeah. Super Bowl Championship. And the beat Brandon. And Brandon said. Said the word on the stage into a microphone live front of all our sponsors. You guys are being real minsys right now. He said it too, about you, though. On stage. Yeah. Yeah. In front of no sponsors. Yeah, that's fine. I. I got through it. We. We talked about it. It was. It was. It was fine then. That was my only loss last year. I haven't lost since. Wow. Really? Yeah. Haven't lost since. What did he call. Nothing. Nothing, Dana. Nothing. And I didn't Jersey swap. What do you think he called you? No, we're not doing that. Let's move on. Why are you rubbing your titty? Yeah, you have a weird thing. Actually, that's. This is a good time to ask people. There's a lot of people watching. I have this thing. I've had it for 10 years. I'm sure it's fine. No better time than now. Under my rib. And are you sure you have. It gets worse when I eat, and then my stomach makes a really loud, like, noise whenever I have liquids. If I went like this, it's really annoying. What's the noise like? It's just like you could. It's as if I'm in a water tank. I. That made me more 10 years. What's the thing under your ribs? Is it something you can feel like a ball? It feels like I want to rip something out of my rib. Oh, every time you eat. Does rubbing it make it feel better? Go under. So is this from having the donut? Wow, that's just. That's just. That's just your rib cake. I don't know. It feels like I want to rip a big piece of my body out. I feel a k. Relatable sensation. Yeah. No, it's nothing, really. The doctors don't say it's anything. Not a tumor? No. So you have had it looked at? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's had it for a decade. Yeah, but he acted like, this was the first time he's ever talked about it. If anyone is out there DM me. And if anybody has ribs, I feel like we all have that. I've had this lump in the back of my neck for, like, five years. Get that checked out. Sometimes I remember it's there, and I'm like, oh, yeah. Still there. A lump in your neck? Yeah, it's like a marble. It's like a marble. That's like a textbook. Hold on, let me put your hand down. Why? Hold on. She got to feel my rib. Yeah. Feel her lump. Yeah, right there. Does it hurt? No, it's just there. Right there. Maybe just the millennial hump. I'm looking at your phone. Dana doesn't find it. He can't feel it. He felt it 30 seconds ago. No. No. Oh, I find them horrible. This has been enlightening and exciting. Lady Tina disagrees. Ever thought about bringing it up to a doctor? I have, many times. I've been to many different people. Muscular, cardiac. This guy's got pipes, but he knows what I'm talking about. You look strong. What's this one? I got an endoscopy. That was nothing. Yeah, I've been to them all. They just say, yeah, nothing serious. Maybe what you need is that good. Dentistry? Yeah, dentistry. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna be on the lookout for that. Now, I saw a guy chanting something today, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. It might have been dentist. I thought I heard the word security, but now that you mentioned it, security didn't sound right either. Probably a remix. Do they just chant? Different professions they are chanting. I only heard the dentistry one. They're manifesting. Yeah, you got to scream for the job. You want the homeless to dentist, Pipeline has to be very, very slim. Pretty tough. Yeah, there's not a lot of that scarce. But maybe they. Maybe they realized that they took their teeth for granted. Oh, my God, you're right. Superhero origin story. Maybe that's what they did. That's all it takes to become a dentist. Just ever take your. She. I didn't treat my teeth right. I knew. I love other people, but I didn't know I loved my teeth. If only I could fuse them. All right, well, what do we got? We got the rest of the day. We got. I guess flag football's taking up most of our afternoon. Yeah. Y' all got any plans tonight? I'm desperate to get people to go to that tiki bar with me. Should we get twisted? Yeah, I'll get twisted. The one that has the boat that floats around with the band on it. The Tonga room. Yes. It rains it. There's a boat. Oh, Mikey Betts sent me that. Yeah. Dude. There's like a such a big lake in the middle of this restaurant that there's a big boat with a full band that plays and then it rains every 20 minutes. It's like a rainforest cafe. Yeah. Okay. I'd like to go very much. I would do that. Did you drink this place? No, she didn't. Heard about this. Looks awesome. And it's only a few blocks away. I've actually always wanted to go. I never made it there. Are you here today? I can. I can come back. Tonga room. Is this Tongan themed? You're not coming back for. I'd consider a Tongan the way you said it. Pitch your voice together. There's no chance you're coming back. I can come back. Come back either tonight or tomorrow. I'm up here and I want to party. And we should rip beers at Leo and the tongar. I got to get back to Leo. I want to go so bad now. You don't know the past. You're gonna be waiting forever. I love meeting people. Are you. Are you flying out at the end of the week? Are you going to shows? I'm flying out on Thursday. Where are you doing shows this week? I actually don't have any this week. Oh, you're just going and around. I am, yeah. I'm here around. You have the big party. What's up? You invited to the Kelsey party? I got invited to the Kelsey party. What the. You've been to the Kelsey party before? Oh, last year. Year. I was doing our other football I missed. Oh, and your mic wasn't even working for that, so you weren't in it. So I just sat there and missed the party. I bought an outfit. I. I texted Nick because I was like, I like my friend got me on and she's plugged in, but she's going to be doing her own thing and I was absolutely you for that text. Hey, man. Did you get invited to the Kelsey party? I don't want to go alone. I need a party. Ally. I need a party. Ally. I'm just going to be standing there there being so weird. Put a word in for me. If anybody out there has connections, I'm. I. This is the year. What night is it? He just has connection. He has connection. I got one connection. I'll. I'll reach out. You guys can talk about it at the Tonga room. Okay, Joey, thanks. We'll talk about it at the time impression. All right. You want to spin the wheel, T.J. this wheel's terrifying. This is a scary wheel. It's not going to be wet. Don't say that, Nick. What I mean by the end of what do we do if it's young, I assume. Good question. I would literally throw up all over my. My feet. See? Okay, keep going, keep going, keep going. There we go. Needed it bad. That's huge. Needed it bad. That means we reset the water. I was worried it just had to spin again. Yeah, it is going to spin again, but it's going to fill it up with dries. Okay. Okay. Think we get back to 20. Dries, you doing any yug station pods out here? Yeah, so no, I'm drinking beers. Does that count? When he said, are you doing any yuck station pods? And you said, yeah, you're doing some live shows. You're doing live shows. Let's go rip some live shows. All right. Spin it. That one killed Fasoli. That felt so good. He was vibrating. I thought he had the hiccups. Yeah, we could sell tickets. Do it. Do live reads. At 6:30 tonight, we have the race between Dave and the James Madison football player. 6:30 Eastern, 5:30 Central. And then right after that, at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific, we will be doing flag football. Right. Can't wait. All right, so everybody watch that. And that is Happy birthday, Che. Happy birthday, Stephen. Che. Happy birthday, the slur user. Love you guys. Watch the poop race. Whoa. Bye.