Former Chicago Bear Kyle Long Talks About The Time The Internet Saw His Hog | The Yak 4-14-26

Summary

The Yak – April 14, 2026

Title: "Former Chicago Bear Kyle Long Talks About The Time The Internet Saw His Hog"

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Yak features the usual Barstool Sports crew—Big Cat, Brandon Walker, Katie, Julia, Eddie, TJ, Maserati Mike, Katic, and Dana—with special guest and former Chicago Bear, Kyle Long. The show delivers its trademark blend of banter, random trivia, sports talk, and absurd stories, culminating in Kyle Long recounting the time a post-game locker room photo unintentionally exposed him on social media. The group covers a wide range of topics, including locker room dynamics, road rage, pet dogs, O-line anatomy humor, press conference meltdowns, and more, all delivered in their signature irreverent, quick-fire style.

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Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Canine Chaos & Office Free Food (01:05–05:00)

• Dog Adoption Banter: Big Cat plugs the Stella Blue Coffee campaign, which promotes pet adoptions. Eddie is prodded about adopting a dog—amidst jokes about methods for putting down sick pets and absurd ideas involving lethal uncrustables.
• Free Food Office Politics: Katie laments her Antioch pizza being scavenged by co-workers. Big Cat compares the kitchen aftermath to vultures on a carcass, highlighting the primal mentality around free office food.

Quote
“Free food here is just the most lusted after item. Yeah, it’s crazy.”
— Big Cat (04:47)

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2. Geographic Misconceptions & Useless Trivia (05:31–15:20)

• Fun Facts Face-off: The group tries to stump each other with odd facts, like Atlanta being further east than Detroit or South America lying east of Atlanta.
• Debate over the invention chronology of the fax machine versus the telephone and implications for historical communication.
• Katie schools the crew on U.S. counties and population oddities, like a Texas county with only three people.
• Extended riff on Louisiana's unique culture and viral local dancers.

Quote
“Do you know that if you go straight south from Atlanta, you’ll never hit South America?”
— Big Cat (05:31)

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3. Locker Room Stories & Athlete Dynamics (42:44–56:13, 83:00–89:45)

With Guest Kyle Long

• Food & Chef Donnie: The crew praises Chef Donnie’s culinary skills. Kyle calls him a "Michelin star chef back there for real" (43:04).
• Coaches & Motivation: Kyle recounts a run-in with former Bears DC Vic Fangio & coach Matt Nagy—
  “I broke down the team… and Vic Fangio grabs me by the arm, goes, ‘He didn’t deserve that.’” (44:12)
• Locker Room Anatomy Lingo: Rugby-style grading of "print" (visible bulge through pants), with categories: frog (small), dog (average), dragon (large), and humorous debate on the relativity of size.
• Kyle’s Viral Moment: The infamous moment when a locker room photo exposed Kyle, leading to widespread Internet attention:

Quote
“My thing was just starting to unslinky from inside… and somebody was, like, dancing on IG Live and I’m in the background, side profile.”
— Kyle Long (84:42)

• The group discusses the embarrassment, fallout, and humor around the incident.
  “There’s still times...someone’s like, ‘you’re Kyle Long, right?’ I’m like, yeah. I wonder if they’ve seen your dick.”
  — Kyle Long (86:47)

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4. Athlete Humor & O-Line Culture (77:00–88:00)

• NFL Locker Room Print Scale: Kyle details the O-line’s unofficial grading system for "print," crediting former teammate Bradley Sowell for keeping a "hog book" that tracked each player’s size on a relative scale.
• Dana jokes Indiana’s football team focused more on the size of teammates’ balls than shafts.
• Lively cross-talk about how compression pants, weather, and game day conditions affect appearances.
• Extended, hysterical bit on the eternal struggle to not accidentally sit on miniature pet dogs (esp. dachshunds).

Quote
“Relativity—some of these guys have small boutique art galleries and people go, ‘Oh my God, what is that, a 72-inch screen right there?’”
— Kyle Long (80:13)

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5. Road Rage & Everyday Life (51:29–53:46)

• Kyle and the Yak talk about dealing with road rage and the changed perspective when driving with kids, ending with jokes about Big Cat likening bad drivers to Stephen Cheah.
• Kyle admits to being less volatile behind the wheel since parenthood.

Quote
“It still exists, but I’ve done a better job of saying, you know, there’s a couple people at home that would not benefit from me getting locked up today.”
— Kyle Long (51:39)

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6. Press Conference Blowups & Sports History (34:10–41:00)

• The team goes deep on legendary sports press conference freakouts:
  • John Chaney vs. John Calipari: "I’mma kick your ass when I see you." (35:01)
  • Artie Lange, Popcorn Calhoun, and the need for more "good blowups" in modern sports.
• Nostalgic yearning for the drama and authenticity of old-school athlete and coach outbursts.

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7. Life, Trivia & Mortality (67:24–68:50, 111:18–112:55)

• Trivia returns with facts about clouds, hailing, and more, eventually pivoting to random philosophical tangents like the ideal time to die (during a bad day versus right after a triumph, e.g., a perfect bowling score).
• Laughter breaks out over the idea that "you want to die when you’re really itchy" (112:22).

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8. Miscellaneous: Dogs, Playgrounds, and Big Guy/Little Guy Pairings (94:44–102:17)

• Heartfelt and funny observations about wiener dogs, trampoline parks, playground drama with kids, and the existential crisis of never knowing when you last jumped between twin beds.
• Hypothetical “gay office couples” and analysis of who’d be the big and little spoon if the Barstool crew paired off, with plenty of self-deprecating honesty.

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Memorable Quotes

• “He was just starting to unslinky from inside my knee… That was the worst. My thing was just starting to unslinky from inside of my knee. Somebody was, like, dancing on IG Live and I’m in the background, side profile.”
  — Kyle Long (84:41)

• “There’s not many people that are walking around 300 pounds, 6’5” that you can relate to, and yeah, good for a living.”
  — Kyle Long (54:32)

• “Just talking to the president.”
  — Big Cat (62:32) [Referencing Tiger Woods on the phone after a crash]

• “If you’re a little guy in the office, you’re definitely hunting a big guy.”
  — Katie (72:46)

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Notable Timestamps

• 05:31 — Atlanta vs. South America geography confusion
• 44:12 — Kyle Long on Fangio, Nagy, motivation, and locker room culture
• 84:41 — Kyle’s “internet hog” story
• 86:47 — (Kyle Long) on being recognized after the incident
• 35:01–35:48 — John Chaney vs John Calipari press conference
• 51:39 — Road rage changed by fatherhood

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is pure, high-energy Yak—sarcastic, self-aware, and grounded in the everyday absurdities of sports, office life, and friendship. The crew’s chemistry shines, especially in long-winded bits and inside jokes ripe for both fans and newcomers. Kyle Long’s charming, self-effacing presence fits perfectly, especially when telling stories most pro athletes might dread. While the “internet hog” story is the marquee, it’s the group’s riffing, candor, and willingness to take a joke (often at their own expense) that makes the episode a standout listen.

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For New Listeners

You don’t have to know every Barstool inside joke to enjoy The Yak. If you love locker room humor, behind-the-scenes athlete stories, and sharp, unfiltered group banter that veers from wholesome to hilariously crude, this is your show.

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Transcript

[Brandon]

Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Big Cat]

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[Katie]

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[Brandon]

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[Katie]

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[Big Cat]

Hello? It's the yak. Dougie.

[Katie]

What's up?

[Big Cat]

Doug?

[Katie]

Oh, get him, Doug.

[Big Cat]

Hey, Stefan. Stefan.

[Katie]

Oh, the boys,

[Big Cat]

Stephan.

[Brandon]

If you want them, you know how to get them.

[Kyle Long]

See you, Doug.

[Big Cat]

Yak Stella Blue Coffee. Go right now. We brew to rescue. New campaign Ready to drink cans. Helping hopefully get a thousand pet adoption adoptions this year nationwide. We're funding that, so go right now. Stillbluecoffee.com Ed, lead from the front.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Let's adopt some dogs.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That really sounded like you were telling

[Katie]

you to adopt a dog.

[Brandon]

Imagine if Eddie adopts a dog. Anybody can.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that's true. Representation matters. Even the most ardent dog hater can.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, the dog.

[Eddie]

Yeah. After talking about dogs yesterday, I'm ready to go.

[Katie]

What? What did you say?

[Eddie]

After talking about dogs yesterday, I'm ready to go.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, you're.

[Katie]

You're on board now?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Dana]

You want.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Katie]

So maybe we can get this paperwork rolling and get. Get it done by.

[Eddie]

Well, we gotta.

[Brandon]

Would you rather have five dogs right now or have to put down a sick one on your own?

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God, that would be a treat for it. That's crazy.

[Eddie]

With a needle.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

However you want, Ed.

[Katie]

No, your hands. Go ahead. Shotgun.

[Brandon]

However you want a pillow.

[Big Cat]

You want a pillow?

[Katie]

Supplicate a dog. Rip its.

[Eddie]

What about like a loaded PB and J? Uncrustable.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man, Eddie, you are a maniac.

[Brandon]

Sure, I guess you thought about this.

[Eddie]

I know a guy who did that.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

What do you mean?

[Brandon]

Was this dog sick?

[Eddie]

The dog bit him. And he went back for revenge, and he loaded up an uncrusted.

[Brandon]

That's up, Eddie.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That's the company you keep.

[Eddie]

No, I wasn't friends with the guy. I was. Just knew the guy.

[Big Cat]

Sounds like you're friends.

[Eddie]

No, no, he was a bad guy. I didn't like him.

[Brandon]

All right, we got to get you a dog.

[Eddie]

It's dead now.

[Brandon]

Oh, the guy's dead?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dana]

No.

[Kyle Long]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Well, kind of, actually.

[Maserati Mike]

Drugs.

[Big Cat]

Wait, what?

[Katie]

Crucible himself, Lace.

[Big Cat]

Drugs.

[Kyle Long]

Yes.

[Eddie]

He uncrustable himself. Correct.

[Katie]

It's always an uncrustable waiting for all of us.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

At the end.

[Big Cat]

Brandon, did you go to Jim and Steve's yesterday ending of the show?

[Katie]

No, I did not.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Katie]

I did not. Thankfully, I'm able to still be mad at him.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. For any.

[Katie]

Appreciate it.

[Big Cat]

For anyone who bailed early, we did not buy the Hank Aaron.

[Katie]

No, but you guys worked it pretty good.

[Big Cat]

You know what it is? It's. It's been doing that. We've been doing this for so long that if Nick just gives me a look.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That's all it was. It was Nick just giving me a look.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And then I was like, yeah, I bought the Hank Aaron card.

[Kyle Long]

He's like.

[Katie]

He's like a quarterback just kind of looking at the receiver, saying, hey, go that way.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. It's like playing with a guy for so long.

[Brandon]

But the thing is, I think Brandon would catch on.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

No.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's the. But it wasn't anything predetermined. It was literally just a look. You could probably go find the look.

[Katie]

Yeah, maybe I didn't get the look, and I was. I was going through emotional hell there at the end.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you were.

[Brandon]

You felt like a bad guy.

[Katie]

Well, I.

[Big Cat]

You're vindicated.

[Katie]

Hold on. No, I think we got a second thing. I think everybody here's a bad guy. Why? What did you. What did you buy me at the end of the day?

[Big Cat]

Antioch pizza.

[Katie]

Two Antioch pizzas. Yeah. Where did I go to do the dozen? What was not there when I came out?

[Big Cat]

Well, you cannot let.

[Katie]

Everybody ate my Antioch pizza.

[Big Cat]

Hold on.

[Kyle Long]

Now.

[Big Cat]

You know this place? I know this place.

[Katie]

Is like, you bought me two Antioch pizzas. I come out, it's all gone.

[Big Cat]

We should actually do a nature video.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It looks like, you know, like when vultures find a carcass and they speed it up.

[Katie]

You can show the kitchen right now.

[Big Cat]

Show the kitchen right now. And it's just a vulture. Like, we can go.

[Brandon]

You'll see faces. I saw Brandon Newman getting.

[Big Cat]

People will Come like flying from downstairs when they just get a whiff of pizza. Yeah, it was. That pizza was gone. That pizza was gone like four minutes after it hit.

[Katie]

It's also kitchen table. That was post lunch pizza. Yeah, everybody had already eaten lunch.

[Big Cat]

And free. Free food here is just the most lusted after item. Yeah, it's crazy.

[Julia]

You know what today is?

[Katie]

Free lunch Tuesday, your spot.

[Julia]

Burger Bear day.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Burger Bear.

[Katie]

Did you get any? Cuz if you didn't, you're out of line.

[Julia]

No, I forgot it was Tuesday and I went down the street, got an expensive turkey sandwich.

[Katie]

Oh no.

[Big Cat]

Is that why you're just asking us if. Is tomorrow Wednesday?

[Julia]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Why are you asking about.

[Big Cat]

Was trying to get her bearings. She was using context clues to figure

[Brandon]

out what day it is by asking what's tomorrow?

[Big Cat]

Was yesterday.

[Julia]

Monday.

[Brandon]

It's too embarrassing.

[Big Cat]

Wednesday.

[Brandon]

All right. I don't know what today is, but how can I subtly find out?

[Big Cat]

Do you know, Kyle?

[TJ]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

Do you know that if you go straight south from Atlanta, you'll never hit South America?

[Katie]

I knew that, yeah.

[TJ]

It's just much too east

[Big Cat]

tried.

[TJ]

I get it.

[Big Cat]

That one blew my mind.

[Maserati Mike]

Really?

[Katie]

South America's way further east.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I just always thought South America was right underneath us.

[Brandon]

No, you thought to the left.

[Katie]

I think a lot of people think.

[TJ]

Yeah, no, that's not too. That's. Yeah, I get how that would blow your mind.

[Julia]

I kind of thought that, you know,

[Big Cat]

Detroit is actually further east than Atlanta.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Didn't know that.

[TJ]

That. That is.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[TJ]

I'll give.

[Big Cat]

I can never get you. I can never get you with.

[TJ]

These are facts that dropped like years ago.

[Brandon]

I guess they've always existed.

[TJ]

Yeah, but they dropped like 2021.

[Big Cat]

Damn it. I need a new fact.

[Katie]

You got to get you some at least 2023 facts and beyond.

[Brandon]

Can we all try to find one thing to get you tomorrow?

[TJ]

Yeah, I love that.

[Katie]

I'm just trying to out fact and

[TJ]

I'll just be myself.

[Brandon]

Oh, cool.

[TJ]

A casually ruthless and charming menace and not a perma slouching bundle of nerves who's seen savvy.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[TJ]

Plugged into the zeitgeist. But not in like a research way, like in a. Oh, I've been places.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I feel what you're putting down right now.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Have you been a lot of places? Are you as well traveled as you come across?

[TJ]

No.

[Big Cat]

Digitally.

[Brandon]

Domestically?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, digitally, yes, digitally, Absolutely. Digitally. Maybe the most well traveled guy, which I don't.

[TJ]

I still to this day don't know how there's a difference well, yeah, I'm with you.

[Brandon]

Don't you want to. You got smell.

[Katic]

You can't Mumbai.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

But most people travel and just like they'll. They look at the things, they go down the street and look at the things around them.

[Katie]

They also feel, I guess they get

[TJ]

the humidity, they taste the food smell,

[Katie]

they meet the people, they hear the car horns. You just see the pictures.

[TJ]

Everyone is.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Like the taste of food, the personalities of people, they're all familiar to me.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[TJ]

I don't think I'd be blown away by any personalities left in this world.

[Katie]

I bet you would.

[Big Cat]

I think it'd be cool to. I was thinking about this, like when I retire someday, like live a month in every other city, like every like major city in America just to feel it.

[Eddie]

I think that'd be cool for like a month.

[Big Cat]

Cuz like if, if you live for a month, you actually start to feel it. You know, I think that a lot.

[Katie]

You think you get struck with sameness at some point?

[Big Cat]

No, I don't think so.

[Katie]

Okay.

[TJ]

Struck with the what?

[Big Cat]

But being like. Oh yeah, you know what?

[Katie]

Like they eventually start, I think Brandon

[Big Cat]

a lot, I think. Oh yeah. September. Oh, like I'm going to go live in Seattle.

[Katie]

A month in Denver. A month in Seattle. A month in Salt Lake, A month in Omaha.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

I think that starts to blend well.

[Katie]

Yeah, I'm just, I'm just trying to go from west to east.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're right.

[Katie]

Omaha might not have made the list, but St. Paul.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

What's your cutoff? Were you living in Pittsburgh?

[Big Cat]

I actually would like to live in Pittsburgh for one month.

[Kyle Long]

Do it.

[Katie]

You got the money?

[Big Cat]

I mean the, the, the scenes are awesome. The bridges.

[Brandon]

One month of that.

[Big Cat]

Pierogies.

[Katie]

The pirates.

[Big Cat]

The pirates.

[Brandon]

Everything you're saying is like a day.

[Big Cat]

The first place Pirates. Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. That's maybe a week.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[TJ]

I don't think Pittsburgh's horrible weeks.

[Brandon]

I don't either.

[TJ]

It's small, but like outsiders have hyped up Pittsburgh in recent years and it's all based off of like one still image of the downtown where you see the rivers.

[Big Cat]

I think what Pittsburgh has going for it is Pittsburgh has a diaspora where there's a lot. Like when the, when the iron business went out of business, like people spread everywhere from Pittsburgh. Like Pittsburgh is everywhere. You know someone from Pittsburgh. Is that the right word?

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. But you, Brandon1.

[Katie]

We all looked at each other.

[Big Cat]

Did I use that correctly? No, you. I did.

[Julia]

You sounded like a professor.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Just held your breath and Let that go.

[Brandon]

You know how Doctors. You said Dr. Seuss had novels.

[Katie]

I've never seen a movie.

[Big Cat]

Back and forth.

[Julia]

No, we're just impressed.

[Katic]

Wow.

[Brandon]

What is that meaning? Like the dispersion or spread of a people from their original homeland or something?

[Julia]

Maybe.

[Katie]

All right.

[Eddie]

That's a good word.

[Big Cat]

That is a good word.

[Eddie]

I'm impressed. I feel like a great job for you post college, Kyle would have been to drive the Google car that takes the picture.

[TJ]

Oh, that's done a lot for me. But.

[Brandon]

But you don't like turning right when you're driving.

[TJ]

No, that's.

[Big Cat]

That's a problem.

[TJ]

I would actually. Ed, that would be like the worst thing.

[Big Cat]

No, you could just do the highways. You could just do the across highways and then just go down.

[TJ]

Well, that's still a lot of areas that need the Google car.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[TJ]

My childhood neighborhood doesn't have it.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[Katic]

Yeah.

[TJ]

There's still more to be seen.

[Katie]

You ever seen it on the road?

[TJ]

I've never.

[Katie]

I saw it in Jersey.

[TJ]

Never seen it.

[Big Cat]

I've seen it a couple times.

[Katie]

It's a contraption.

[Big Cat]

It just always is going too. Because I feel like they're always updated.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

We had a friend who, like, got caught going into a liquor store at

[Kyle Long]

like 8am on a Tuesday. Forever on there.

[TJ]

He's on Google street view at a liquor store.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Can you tell it's the morning?

[Brandon]

I mean, it's. Right. But he told us himself he remembers seeing the car.

[Eddie]

Yes. I think they've since updated it, but it was like his claim.

[Big Cat]

That's awesome.

[TJ]

Cool.

[Big Cat]

Print that out, Kyle.

[Brandon]

Fax machine was amended in 1843.

[Big Cat]

How.

[TJ]

And I saw this fact as well. You and people talking about how the. Because, like, it's very.

[Big Cat]

Wait, is that modern technology?

[Brandon]

Four floors.

[Big Cat]

When's the telephone.

[Brandon]

Well, after.

[Big Cat]

So how's that work?

[Katie]

I'm with Big Cat.

[Brandon]

Is it. Well, wait, when was telephone. Telephone had to have been TJ.

[Katie]

So it's facts.

[Katic]

Similar.

[TJ]

It was like eight.

[Katie]

Telegraph.

[Brandon]

Telegraph.

[Katie]

Yeah, get me to telegraph.

[TJ]

1880.

[Katie]

No, I was gonna say 1880.

[Big Cat]

For 60, I'd be like 1910.

[TJ]

No, it was.

[Brandon]

I was gonna say nice.

[Katie]

I mean, 1910's not crazy, is it not crazy.

[TJ]

Might be.

[Big Cat]

No, 1910 is crazy because 1910 was flight. You had to have phones before flight.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Late 1800s, phones came before fax machine.

[Katie]

1870.

[Big Cat]

All right, so that's still what, 50 years past the fax machine. Yeah. That's pretty crazy.

[Katie]

What's on. What.

[Julia]

What were.

[Maserati Mike]

It might be like a technicality. Of like what are they considering to be a fax machine versus what do you.

[Big Cat]

It's just a little boy named.

[Katie]

He is a fax machine. That's what a telegraph was, right?

[Julia]

Isn't like Morse not more.

[Brandon]

I thought telegraph was door to door. That's your telegram.

[Katie]

Why telegram?

[Big Cat]

Weren't they still using pigeons in World War I?

[Eddie]

Crazy.

[Julia]

Did you see that?

[Big Cat]

Just send messages, faxes, I don't know.

[Julia]

This house in the UK was getting redone like a few weeks ago and they tore the chimney down and they found a pigeon inside. Like a pigeon skeleton inside with like a secret World War note.

[Big Cat]

No way.

[Julia]

Like, yeah.

[Eddie]

Awesome.

[Big Cat]

That's really cool.

[Brandon]

Didn't humans ruin pigeons?

[TJ]

Weren't they like pretty.

[Big Cat]

I think they're doing fine.

[Brandon]

I thought. No, I don't think.

[Big Cat]

Wait, what was that? Tj?

[Katie]

Oh, they need us. Is that what

[Maserati Mike]

fax machine?

[Julia]

Yeah. Cuz I've never seen a pigeon like out in the woods.

[Big Cat]

How is this possible?

[Julia]

It needs crumbs.

[Brandon]

It needs our needs.

[Julia]

Trash.

[Maserati Mike]

Garbage. Just like an evolution of the telegraph.

[Big Cat]

And what was the telegraph like?

[Katie]

That was words.

[Brandon]

What's the beeps?

[Katie]

That was the original text message.

[Julia]

Morse code.

[Maserati Mike]

Morse. You're sending a. Dude.

[Big Cat]

We've really come a long way fast.

[Katie]

Pretty quickly. Too quick. Yeah. Yeah.

[Julia]

It always me up when my son, he went to the Field Museum and he saw that thing about the chicks a club meteor that hit the earth however many billion years ago. And it's the one in the. In the Gulf of Mexico or whatever, that was the biggest one ever that killed everything. So he's been asking a lot of questions about this stuff. And we watch this video on YouTube that has the timeline of like existence. And it's like the line is this

[Big Cat]

long and then it's like, yeah, just us at the end.

[Julia]

We're just. This time.

[Brandon]

Didn't it rain for 2 million years straight?

[Julia]

Pretty much.

[Brandon]

That sucks.

[Big Cat]

Seattle.

[Brandon]

Yeah, pretty much. You'll live there for a month.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Kyle, did you know the moon's getting away from us?

[Brandon]

It moves about a toenails length away a year.

[TJ]

Oh, those facts.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but you didn't know that. Yeah, you did. Moon's getting away from it.

[TJ]

That's like bird feed. That type of fact.

[Big Cat]

I'm just forever looking for. I'm Sisyphus.

[Brandon]

What is happening to you today?

[Julia]

What the.

[Kyle Long]

Dude.

[Brandon]

Eloquent diaspora.

[Big Cat]

I am. I get up to Kyle right at the top and then he just kicks my fact all the way down.

[TJ]

The fact isn't bad, but it's the Sub fact that it's just a toenail's length.

[Katie]

Yeah. That's not.

[Big Cat]

That's still pretty crazy.

[Katie]

They could be making that up.

[Big Cat]

Slowly sneaking away.

[Katie]

Less than an inch a year. How do we.

[Big Cat]

That's like three centimeters.

[Julia]

Do you know if the Earth was any bigger than it is, we wouldn't be able to leave it.

[Katie]

What?

[Julia]

Gravitational pull. The bigger the planet, the bigger the gravitational pull.

[Brandon]

So we're right on the cusp.

[Julia]

We'd really be stuck. We're like the perfect size.

[Big Cat]

I think that applies for.

[Brandon]

If it was any bigger, it would be impossible.

[Big Cat]

Can't leave a large breasted woman.

[Brandon]

Yours is actually perfect.

[Eddie]

Is there a fact you're sick of? Like, people keep repeating it. You're like, enough.

[Big Cat]

Probably the. The Atlanta, the South America one. That one is. He hates it. He hated it there.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[TJ]

People keep dropping the same facts.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[TJ]

Like. But people eat it up.

[Big Cat]

I got you once.

[Katie]

You eat facts up, though.

[Big Cat]

I got you once. The Connecticut was Ohio.

[Brandon]

You did.

[Big Cat]

That one was good.

[TJ]

I didn't give you enough credit.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

How so?

[Big Cat]

Connecticut was just a long, straight, like, line of land all the way through Ohio.

[Eddie]

Oh, wow.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. That was all the state of Connecticut.

[Katie]

I've gotten you with counties before.

[TJ]

You get me a lot.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, he gets you a lot.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

That's gotta hurt.

[Big Cat]

It's real bad.

[Katie]

We focus on counties. Real, real bad municipalities.

[Brandon]

And it must be a southern thing because I don't really give a hoot about counties.

[Katie]

I love a county county line. There's a county in Texas with three people in it.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

That'll get. Population oddities. Will get me.

[Big Cat]

All right, all right.

[Eddie]

Do you care about a parish?

[Katie]

Oh, Louisiana. Up in this hoe. What's your favorite parish, Eddie? I'm a tangible ho guy.

[Eddie]

I don't think I know any.

[Big Cat]

But you knew they existed.

[Eddie]

Yes, exactly.

[Big Cat]

And that counts for something.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Not with Kyle dance. No, like they all dance really well.

[Katie]

That one white guy that goes viral every now and then for the way he wobbles is Louisiana, I believe.

[TJ]

But they're getting like. It's not just the same town or same scene every time.

[Katie]

All of them.

[TJ]

And then I know they have like a Laotian scene down there too. It's the coolest state Lao.

[Katie]

It's a different. It's.

[Big Cat]

It.

[Katie]

It's its own world. Once you cross in Louisiana, it is a completely different world than every other state we got. I wonder if T. Bob can dance.

[Julia]

I bet he can. I follow this guy, Mr. Weatherall on Instagram.

[TJ]

I think that's the videos I've seen.

[Julia]

He. Right. He travels the whole state and everyone just dances.

[TJ]

Everyone just incredible.

[Julia]

Everywhere. And it looks like so much fucking fun everywhere.

[Brandon]

It's like the Philippines and singing. Everybody's amazing in the Philippines.

[Big Cat]

That's not true.

[Brandon]

It's Maserati. Mike was waxing poetic about Philip.

[Big Cat]

We have, like, the most famous Philip Phil. Philippine man is a bad singer.

[Dana]

Who?

[Big Cat]

Manny Pacquiao.

[Katie]

Great singer, but he thinks he's a good.

[Big Cat]

No, he's not.

[Brandon]

You're going to have to take that up with Maserati Mike. He was saying he was really defending the Filipinos.

[Big Cat]

So he's doing the guy saying karaoke with Manny Pacquiao.

[Kyle Long]

What?

[Katie]

What? No, that should have come up.

[Brandon]

That's not something you think.

[TJ]

You think you did karaoke with Manny Pacquiao.

[Katie]

Well, how was it?

[Big Cat]

I don't know, like a duet.

[Julia]

What was the song?

[Brandon]

Definitely it's a quarter after one.

[Big Cat]

I did.

[Brandon]

I remember the Cheryl Crow kid.

[Big Cat]

Rob trying to remember once.

[Katie]

I was 7.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. Okay. We can't play it, but I remember it was a. It was a hotel room in Beverly Hills and there was like 70 Manny Pacquiao people.

[Brandon]

Filipinos.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

No, it was mixed. It was like his whole entourage. Security, everyone.

[TJ]

You know, people.

[Katie]

What.

[Big Cat]

Why do we. When did we sing karaoke with Manny Pacquiao? And was it as awkward as I remember it being? Yeah, it was a Great week in LA. We were in a room of 50 people. All Manny Pacquiao's. All Manny Pacquiao's people.

[Kyle Long]

It was editing. Imposter Fias is a lot better.

[Big Cat]

Quite literally. Just you guys sitting there and then like, I. I think I can find a video. He found it. We can't play that part of the

[Maserati Mike]

video is muted on YouTube.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, really?

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah, that.

[Brandon]

That part of the video where it pans.

[Big Cat]

I have a video from my phone that shows. Oh, send it to tj.

[Maserati Mike]

This is all muted.

[Julia]

Do you know what the song was?

[Big Cat]

PODCAST ends I don't remember.

[Brandon]

Wanton Don just text me, said, I'm right about Filipinos pipes.

[Katie]

What?

[Kyle Long]

Oh, yeah.

[TJ]

They should look at the.

[Big Cat]

Manny Pacquiao's bad.

[Katie]

But he thinks he can sing, right? Right.

[Big Cat]

He also thinks he can play basketball.

[Katie]

I don't know. I have nothing to do.

[Big Cat]

Don't you know that he, like, he basically just put himself on the national team?

[Katie]

I feel like if you're an international boxing champion, you think you can do everything and nobody's going to tell you.

[Katic]

Correct.

[Big Cat]

It wasn't he the mayor or something?

[Katie]

He's everything.

[Eddie]

Yeah, he basically.

[Katie]

Do you have a hot daughter?

[Brandon]

Oh, I think you got got. That was like.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

All right.

[TJ]

Nah, she's beat.

[Big Cat]

Hank, send that to T. Mr. Bean

[Julia]

has a hot daughter.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's right.

[Big Cat]

Thick Mr. Bean.

[Katie]

So there's a lot of.

[Big Cat]

Oh, why'd you point at me, big Mr. Bean guy.

[Eddie]

I texted that the other day.

[Brandon]

Did I say I'm a big Mr. Bean guy?

[Big Cat]

I love.

[Brandon]

I think you assumed I was a big Mr. Bean guy, which I get a lot. I'm like. I'm as much Bean as, like, the lay person.

[Big Cat]

No, no, but he has. I have a video of the room.

[Kyle Long]

Oh.

[Brandon]

With all the Pacquiao.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. It was a very. We did an interview in front of, like, 70 people, and it was so uncomfortable.

[Brandon]

Does he roll that deep?

[Big Cat]

He rolls that deep. They just kept on coming. We, like, set up, and then they just walked in.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

The suite was entirely full. Look at this.

[Julia]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle Long]

A different song.

[Katie]

He didn't like that one, huh?

[Big Cat]

No. What's this for? I don't. We just interviewed him.

[Kyle Long]

It's a live show.

[Big Cat]

It was crazy how many people were in that room. Freddie Roach was in there.

[Katie]

Great week.

[Eddie]

Yeah. That's great.

[Kyle Long]

Roach.

[Big Cat]

I don't know who that is. The. His trainer. Famous trainer.

[TJ]

Famous. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, man. Yeah, he's the man.

[Katie]

All right.

[Big Cat]

Thanks, Hank. That was it.

[Katie]

Let's use Kyle.

[TJ]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie]

Watch your hats are hot.

[TJ]

Casually ruthless.

[Big Cat]

Hopefully we don't get reverse wet today.

[TJ]

Charming Menace.

[Katie]

What's your.

[Big Cat]

It's with Julia. It's a competing podcast. Calls his hat.

[Katie]

Okay. Sorry, I didn't.

[Big Cat]

Friend of the program.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Mount Rushmore guest. He is. I love jewels.

[Katie]

Okay, cool. I don't know what. Welcome.

[Big Cat]

This is not the name of the podcast.

[Katie]

Right. So that you could see where I would wonder what that is.

[Big Cat]

It would be like if, like, you know, the US Open got someone mad at someone for wearing a hat that said pimento.

[Katie]

What are you talking about? I just want to know what the hat Masters. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

No, I'm talking to Big Cat. Big Cat's trying to. I have a pimento hat.

[Katie]

Right?

[Big Cat]

It's not a master. Brandon got it for me. It's not a master's hat.

[Katie]

Yeah, it is. I bought him a gift.

[Big Cat]

It's a pimento hat. Well, it's a master's Pimento Master.

[Katie]

It has the Masters logo on it.

[Big Cat]

All right, My bad.

[Eddie]

Sorry.

[Big Cat]

No, that's all right.

[Katie]

What the was that?

[Big Cat]

We just finished pmt, so he's in Hank mode.

[Katie]

Oh, I see.

[Big Cat]

He's got a defender.

[Katie]

He's defensive.

[Big Cat]

We were going at him.

[Katie]

I just want to know what happens.

[Big Cat]

Got his guard up.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Brandon, how was your birthday after?

[Katie]

It was good. Yeah? Yeah, it was good. Got. Got my gifts and, you know, had a good time with the family.

[Brandon]

Good, good day out to eat or.

[Katie]

I went out to eat Saturday for my birthday and then.

[Brandon]

Why are you being so coy?

[Katie]

I'm not being coy.

[Brandon]

You're being coy.

[Katie]

My wife made me a good. She made me country fried steak, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, super southern meal. She made me peach cobbler.

[Kyle Long]

Like anything else for dessert?

[Katie]

Huh?

[Brandon]

He texted me right after.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

And you did. You gave yourself a six out of ten.

[Katie]

Yeah, it was all right. It was all right.

[Brandon]

How'd she do?

[Katie]

Pretty good. Pretty, Pretty good?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Nice.

[Katie]

Yeah. But that's my birthday.

[Eddie]

How was your sign in person?

[Katie]

Oh, good.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Katie]

It looks just like the sign.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Good sign.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Kyle Long is here today. He's gonna stop by. He's doing Chef Donnie, right?

[TJ]

Have him come in.

[Brandon]

I like him.

[Big Cat]

He's the coolest. Kyle, he's the man. Yeah, I feel like you get a little bit. You.

[Julia]

You.

[Big Cat]

No, I was just. I know we're having a bad day.

[Brandon]

You guys aren't friends.

[Big Cat]

Let me finish what I was gonna say. I feel like you get a little bit of confidence having a Kyle that size in here. Oh, yeah, it's like the Kyle's.

[TJ]

That would. Because he's so much bigger than me.

[Big Cat]

No, he's just like. Oh, that's a.

[TJ]

That's a. I think I'd be.

[Big Cat]

Cool ass Kyle.

[Eddie]

Impressive type.

[Katie]

Can I say about Chef Donnie?

[TJ]

He is.

[Katie]

Yeah, Chef Donnie. Good looking kid. You know, he's a always fashionable and that's a good looking shirt. Might be a barstool shirt. I don't know. I don't think. That sure fits him. I don't think that's him.

[Brandon]

It doesn't suit him.

[Big Cat]

No, it doesn't.

[TJ]

But do we have to like call people out for that?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Donnie.

[Big Cat]

Yeah?

[TJ]

This backwards hat is not working.

[Big Cat]

No, that backwards hats were sassy, but that is.

[Brandon]

It caught me off guard.

[TJ]

No. Too pale for white.

[Big Cat]

You've been a menace today.

[Katie]

You're a charming menace.

[TJ]

No. Oh, I think a St. Bernard's friend.

[Kyle Long]

What?

[Katic]

Yeah,

[Brandon]

you're right.

[TJ]

Hey, boys, you don't have to. You don't have to give me everyone. You look like you can let that simmer in silence. Because it made no sense.

[Big Cat]

You look like a Padres fan who's trying not to be a Padres fan.

[Katic]

No.

[Big Cat]

What hat are you wearing?

[Brandon]

Big cat, You're.

[Big Cat]

What hat are you wearing? Turn around the hat. Turn around the hat now.

[Brandon]

Is it a Padre's hat?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it is a Padres hat.

[Katie]

Should we. Should we leave and just let them.

[Brandon]

No, they would have nothing to talk about.

[Big Cat]

We're verbally wrestling right now. Happens every now and then.

[Brandon]

You guys have zero common ground.

[Big Cat]

We're gonna find it. We're gonna find it. I don't know why I texted Hank, come in here right now. That was.

[Katie]

Oh, that's why I was defensive.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's. Now I realized, like, why did I text it like that?

[Katie]

I just thought that was a neat hat.

[Big Cat]

Come in here right now. That's too much.

[Brandon]

It was a lot.

[Big Cat]

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[Katie]

So there's. There's scramble rules.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I didn't fully. Once I talked out the scramble rules, like, you know what? I actually think they can do it. It's going to take a while. Is anyone here on it? I am. Danny. How are you? Chase's not here today.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

He was here for wake up Barstool. He's. He's taking time off now that he knows he's safe. Forever.

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You up?

[Katie]

He immediately. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I likened it to when I. When I first adopted Stella. She didn't bark for like the first month and a half.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And then she realized that, oh, these people aren't giving me back. And then she's never stopped barking.

[Katie]

He's due a vacation.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. So he. Him getting the comfort of knowing that he's here for life. He now will do whatever. He'll walk all over Me.

[Brandon]

You have so many adult dependents.

[Big Cat]

I know. I should put it on my taxes.

[Brandon]

Yeah, claim Ben.

[Big Cat]

Good. Yeah, claim them all. Like, these people couldn't do anything.

[Katie]

What.

[Brandon]

What did he say? That made its mark yesterday?

[Big Cat]

It was the talking about taking Shota out. 100 pitches, six innings, no hit. And I was. I was laying in bed. I had had the Cubs game on. I went out. I think I took Stella out, came back, the Cubs game ended. Was laying in bed, just kind of scrolling my phone. And then my wife was like, Stephen Chase on the tv. I was like, oh, my God. He infiltrated away from him. And there's like, a long debate about it.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah,

[Big Cat]

he's a. He's also. We also cracked the code on. On what he's doing right now, because I don't know if you guys have seen Stephen Shea. I'm. I'm fully. I'm. I'm cool with him, or I, I. Not that he needs my permission. I support his desire to become a baseball fan and understand the game.

[Brandon]

Eddie does not.

[Eddie]

That's.

[Brandon]

There's a lot of huffing and puffing every time, and I. Rolling.

[Eddie]

I just. I. I just wonder when he's rage baiting and when he's not. And I think, never rage baiting, but

[Big Cat]

I think sometimes, no, he's not. That's the thing with him.

[Brandon]

But I think he's savvy enough to use the defense of. I know nothing.

[Big Cat]

So that's what's starting to bother me. It's not that he's doing it totally fine with that. It's that he keeps seeing him reply to people. He's got, like, an automatic trump card where someone will be a dick to him, and he'll be like, sorry, I'm just trying to grow the game and learn more about baseball. What point can he stop using that?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Eddie]

And it's to the point where everyone keeps sending me everything, and he's trying

[Big Cat]

to become a 160 tour, which is not a real thing, and then he's gonna use that to then dunk on other people being like, I watched every.

[Brandon]

Talk to me when you watch 160.

[Big Cat]

Right? He's. He's. He's gonna be the gate. He's the. He's going at gatekeepers with kindness, and then eventually he's going to end up being a gatekeeper.

[Kyle Long]

We can all agree this would be highly entertaining if it weren't for the. It being the Cubs.

[Big Cat]

I. I think it's fine. I. I like that he's like getting into it. It's just. He's gonna gatekeep. I know he is. When he gets to 162, he's gonna gatekeep.

[Kyle Long]

But Eddie, that's what's bothering you?

[Eddie]

I just. Sometimes I don't believe. Like, I don't believe his night was ruined because they got rained out in the Saturday.

[Big Cat]

Oh, I do.

[Katie]

I think he builds his day around it. I could see that.

[Eddie]

He said all I wanted to do tonight was watch the final four in the Cubs Night ruined. This is ridiculous.

[Brandon]

You're sounding like you're 162er.

[Big Cat]

You're sounding like a non 162er.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Katie]

You say you don't think 160 tour is real.

[Big Cat]

It is. But a What? A true 162 doesn't walk around saying I'm a 160 tour. They're the Meek Phils, the Frank, the Tanks, the Clemmers. Those guys are just. You can tell in silence.

[Brandon]

Tell by their build.

[Katie]

Right?

[Big Cat]

You can tell by their build and what they're talking about. They don't say I'm a 162.

[Katie]

But it's different. He's choosing to be one. He's entering the. The cult.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Katie]

But they just are. Naturally.

[Big Cat]

But he's going to gatekeep because if. If you into 162.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

As like I'm gonna be a 160 tour. I think that at the end of it, you're gonna flip it on everyone.

[Katie]

I'm like a twelver.

[Brandon]

You're a twelver.

[Big Cat]

Over's fine.

[Katie]

12:15 or something like that.

[Eddie]

Like, how could your night possibly be ruined by something you just started? I don't know. I just.

[Brandon]

Are you afraid that he loves it more than you?

[Eddie]

He. He might.

[Katie]

If he's more of a cuz he's

[Eddie]

being genuine, then he.

[Big Cat]

I don't think. He cannot be genuine.

[Katie]

I don't remember. Did he go to the Milwaukee trip with you guys?

[Big Cat]

He's not.

[Katie]

Okay. Going to have to go from here on out.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he was invited. He just had something going on.

[Brandon]

Would I be offended if like a former all pro lineman got into Pokemon and just bought all the best cards instantly?

[Big Cat]

Never.

[Brandon]

Well, if he was online acting like a pro, maybe. Maybe.

[Eddie]

What if he saw what you opened and was like, yeah, you should. Those are worth something. Dude. Hang out of this.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I know.

[Big Cat]

Well, no, but is this a guy who like, routinely will steal other people's things?

[Julia]

Yeah,

[Big Cat]

Stephen. He is. He's crazy. He's a crazy Guy. But I. He's not rage beating. That's the thing.

[Katie]

But that's kind of who he is. Like. Like, correct. With his NBA bets. He does. He doesn't have to sit up and watch every single second of every single game and then tweet at NBA stats and say, please correct this to an assist. Like, that's just. That's just how he's going to watch things.

[Brandon]

He said a sad thing this morning. He was like, when I tweet about the Cubs, I. Only two thirds of it is hate.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And I usually get a lot more than that.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And that kind of hurt my heart a little bit.

[Katie]

Also. It's. It's mock draft season. He needs to get on it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he does. He's taking the eye off the ball.

[Katie]

Is his position in jeopardy there? I don't remember where.

[Big Cat]

I don't even know if he has one.

[Brandon]

Is Caleb still his boss?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I think so. I think he does have to report to Caleb. We should. We should have Caleb zoom in and be like, I've been looking at your work and it's.

[Brandon]

It's not good.

[Katie]

They don't talk enough.

[Big Cat]

They don't. It's his buddy Caleb.

[Brandon]

We text every once in a while.

[TJ]

Was his. His tweet? Like, is that whack or like.

[Big Cat]

No, I mean, it wasn't. It was a fine question. It was just like, it's. It's April, and if a guy's at 100 pitches, you're gonna take.

[TJ]

Really?

[Big Cat]

No hitters are not.

[TJ]

They're not special or they're. They're not what they.

[Big Cat]

There's been a lot of no hitters.

[Katie]

They're not important enough perfect games.

[Big Cat]

There's been 28.

[Katie]

I was gonna say 24, but.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, 24 in the history.

[TJ]

But a no hitter. Like, I'd rather protect your no hitters

[Big Cat]

happen a couple times a year, right?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

That's it.

[Eddie]

No, like, that was a fine question.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[TJ]

No, I would. I would want the no hitter.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. It would be cool.

[Katie]

But he wasn't like, he wasn't close enough. Like, six innings at 100 pitches is a long. Still talking 40 more. 40 more pitches and 140 in April's death.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Maserati Mike]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

For a guy who had kind of

[Katie]

a dead arm, if he was 100 pitches through eight innings.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Katie]

I think you might let him go out in the ninth and see what happens.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah. No hitters don't really get it going for me. Perfect game.

[Kyle Long]

Now that's something.

[Eddie]

What about a combined no hitter? Those are the best.

[Big Cat]

I love those.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What? When's the last perfect game? I feel like we're due for one.

[TJ]

20. 19.

[Big Cat]

Was it.

[Eddie]

Arietta?

[Big Cat]

No. No Area had no hitters. No.

[Eddie]

Yeah, two no hitter.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, two no hitters.

[Maserati Mike]

No perfect 20, 23. Bad guy.

[Big Cat]

Ah. Why is he a bad guy?

[Maserati Mike]

I think he punched his wife at.

[Big Cat]

Oh, he is a bad guy.

[TJ]

Keep going.

[Maserati Mike]

Event that a bunch of teammates were at.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's. That's somebody who does it everywhere.

[Big Cat]

He was showing off for his teammate.

[Katie]

That was. He was a Yankee.

[Julia]

Yeah, but how does he treat seagulls?

[Brandon]

Yeah, right.

[Big Cat]

Okay to that I thought you meant bad guy just because you didn't like him as a player.

[Kyle Long]

But no, I believe.

[TJ]

What were the results?

[Big Cat]

The punch. Yeah. I don't.

[TJ]

I didn't.

[Eddie]

How was he at swerving?

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah, he went. He was at a. A cc's about the a charity gala.

[Katie]

Oh, wait a second. That's before he threw the perfect game.

[Maserati Mike]

Slap.

[Big Cat]

Charity got slap.

[Katie]

So he also had an 81 game violation for conduct. Personal conduct policy.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Katie]

It looks like the Yankees let him play his career at the Yankees after he did all these things.

[Maserati Mike]

Bad guy.

[Brandon]

But did you cheer on that game, tj?

[Maserati Mike]

I think everybody was like, this is a bad guy. It's throwing a perfect game.

[Eddie]

Huh.

[Brandon]

What a quandary.

[Maserati Mike]

Just maybe why it's like forgotten. Yeah, rightfully so. Because bad guy. Disavow.

[Big Cat]

Disavow. That perfect game was sick.

[Katie]

Should Armando Galarraga have a perfect game?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Katie]

Should they go back and say it's a perfect. He did throw a perfect game.

[Big Cat]

Yes, he did. 100.

[Katie]

All right.

[Big Cat]

It's.

[Katie]

It wasn't like the, you know, 21st out. It was. There's. Replay would have counted 27th out.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

And I kicked the out of it.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

It's an all time presser.

[Big Cat]

Who, who said that?

[Eddie]

Jim Joyce.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's right. Kick the out of it. We're due for a good press conference.

[Katie]

Blow ups.

[Big Cat]

I miss those. Talking about the Chaney Calipari one when Cal was on final four. Come on, kick your ass. Why don't we have that anymore? Do you know which one I'm talking about?

[Katie]

Yeah. I'll kill you is what he said, right?

[Big Cat]

No, this is a fact. I'll show you John Calipari and John Chaney Temple's coach. And they were yelling at each other at a press conference after the game.

[TJ]

The two of the different coaches.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, different coaches. I should kick your ass. What did he say? I'd like to see you try.

[Eddie]

No, John Chaney is the man.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. You find that for us?

[Katie]

He did.

[Big Cat]

It has to be.

[Julia]

When I was a kid, he seemed like he was a thousand years old. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Has to be.

[Brandon]

Uh.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, and you send your kids out

[Big Cat]

there pushing and shoving.

[Katic]

The guys did a hell of a job.

[Kyle Long]

You had the best officiating you could ever get here.

[Katic]

And for you to ride them.

[Kyle Long]

I want to be a party of that.

[Katic]

I just got my ass blasted for

[Kyle Long]

giving them hell down in West Virginia.

[Katic]

And here, you get a hell of a job right here today. Good job.

[Kyle Long]

Three class guys.

[Katic]

And you pick them out here and single them out.

[Kyle Long]

You can't get that down there to replicate something. Shut up.

[Brandon]

Yeah, this is great. I'mma kick your ass when I see you. He's looking right at him.

[Katie]

And you don't need that edge.

[Kyle Long]

That's why I was telling my kid

[Katic]

to knock your kid in the mouth.

[Kyle Long]

Standing there pushing in the game,

[Maserati Mike]

Some

[Kyle Long]

things never cease to amaze me.

[TJ]

I'm not going to say anything right

[Big Cat]

now because I don't want to say the wrong thing. I think it's better that I just

[TJ]

walk out of here and I'm not going to talk on the television.

[Big Cat]

I'm not going to talk to anybody.

[Kyle Long]

Love it. Right now.

[Big Cat]

We need more of this.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Dream scenario for both of them.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[TJ]

They didn't have to actually do it. They didn't have to fight.

[Big Cat]

I want more of them.

[Katie]

I think Chaney wanted to fight.

[Brandon]

No.

[Katie]

You don't think so? No, I think in that moment, Sean Chaney wanted to fight. I don't think John Calipari wanted to fight.

[TJ]

You could tell that.

[Big Cat]

No.

[TJ]

If you really wanted to fight, you'd lunge at the right time.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You sprint up there.

[Maserati Mike]

He.

[Katie]

He's 70 years old. He didn't have sprint in his bag.

[Julia]

You know what's got to be one of the worst feelings? If you're starting to fight, but you actually want to be held back, and then your boys don't hold you back.

[TJ]

That's got to be something. Every man just relies on that.

[Big Cat]

John Cheney's been dead for five years.

[Katie]

We have a fire to be held back. Like me in high school, the best was

[Katic]

who?

[Eddie]

Artie Lango. And after his assistant. You ever seen that?

[Big Cat]

Oh. Oh. We should just go in a rabbit hole of good press conference moments. I'm gonna kick your ass, Ted. Oh, I want to see that on the show.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. It gets. It gets scary.

[Julia]

And it was like, real, for real.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie]

Oh.

[Julia]

What was he Mad about?

[Eddie]

He said Teddy his assistant was stealing his money or something and he was making fun of him because he says he called Bloomingdale's bloomies and he was calling him gay for saying it that way. And then. Yeah, that was those.

[Big Cat]

I give you money all the time in front of me. I need that 500. You always get it. You always get that money.

[Kyle Long]

Then I have to prod and pokey for it.

[Brandon]

I hate doing that.

[Big Cat]

Poke me for money. But daddy doesn't have the paycheck.

[Brandon]

Isn't in the.

[Kyle Long]

Artie, I gotta take Umbra Judy for one thing.

[Big Cat]

Howard, you're being wrong.

[Kyle Long]

Can I tell you why you're being wrong?

[Brandon]

You're coddling him.

[Big Cat]

No, I'm not.

[Katic]

I'm gonna tell you something. Whatever, all right?

[Kyle Long]

Hear my point of view.

[Big Cat]

It really up, man. I hate you.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Hey.

[Big Cat]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

[Kyle Long]

Teddy T. Stop it.

[Big Cat]

Arty. No, Art.

[Kyle Long]

That's a guy who wants action.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Jesus Christ.

[Brandon]

You people are crazy.

[Big Cat]

Steal my money.

[Katie]

Oh, wait a second. Wow.

[Brandon]

I keep tell. Why are you bringing this up? Fake turnaround.

[Big Cat]

I love it.

[Brandon]

What the f is going on here?

[Big Cat]

I don't love this.

[Kyle Long]

Holy.

[Katie]

Artie needs to go home and take it easy.

[Kyle Long]

I think so.

[Katie]

He's in the green room.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he sends the passport. Oh, so good.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Have you not seen that one? No. Oh, yeah, that's.

[Eddie]

That's an all timer.

[Brandon]

We're due for a blow up here.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Wonder who it'll be. Vegas next week. No, I don't think. Brandon.

[Katie]

No, I. I had my one. I haven't ever had another one.

[Big Cat]

We're good.

[Brandon]

Chief and Kate, more press conference.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Popcorn Calhoun's got all the best. Oh, that would get him not a dime back. I. I watch not a dime back like once a month. Because it's just when he's like. I make a hell of a lot more than that right to the reporter's face.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You don't know that.

[TJ]

I do.

[Katie]

You do.

[TJ]

We played it on here.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, we played it on here. Hey, Donnie, you good? Yeah.

[Katic]

You want chicken?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. That. That shirt.

[Maserati Mike]

It's an ad.

[Brandon]

We love it.

[Big Cat]

Dude, it's such a good shirt. That's what we were saying for this. Damn. He got us with that. Kyle come in here.

[Katie]

Just unfit.

[Julia]

Him always coming with a plate.

[Big Cat]

Kyle's in here.

[Kyle Long]

I mean, I should have thought that I would be giving this cape. I'd bring it to you.

[Katie]

Oh, wow.

[Brandon]

Very nice gusto.

[Katie]

This is a. Appreciate that chicken sandwich.

[Big Cat]

Do you mind if I. Oh my gosh. Please come on over.

[Katie]

What's up guys?

[Kyle Long]

What up?

[Big Cat]

Let me do. Let me do an ad real quick while Brandon eats. I want to go try that too. Looks really good.

[Julia]

It looks so good.

[Katie]

Oh my God.

[Big Cat]

Best. Okay, the ad. Let me just stop this Wayfair. It's Way Day at Wayfair. From April 25th through the 27th, you can score the best deals in home, like up to 80% off with free shipping on everything. Wayfair makes it easy to find exactly what fits your style and needs, from furniture and decor to home improvement and outdoor essentials. And it's all on sale during weigh day. Upgrade your space with quality pieces that work within your budget. And the best part? Everything ships fast and free during Wayday. Plus you can shop with Wayfair verified, AKA your shortcut to the good stuff. Their team of product specialists vets everything by hand using a 10 point quality inspection so you know you're getting a quality piece no matter what your your budget is. Wayfair makes it simple to narrow down to exactly what works for you and your style and budget. Way Day is the sale to shop the best deals in home. We're talking up to 80 off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W a Y f a I r.com Wayfair Every style, every home with

[Ad Host]

Wayfair.com all right, let's talk about Lucy. Lucy is the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they're the official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports. Lucy pouches go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have a unique shape that feels great. Lucy breakers are the only pouches with a hydration capsule inside. Tasty. They're a totally new kind of pouch only available from Lucy. Each breaker contains a hydration capsule that you crack open with your teeth before tossing it in your lip. The capsule releases a burst of flavor and helps release nicotine faster for an experience that you can't find in any other pouch. Gas station pouches get the job done. But once you try Lucy, you won't want anything else in your pocket. Get Lucy shipped straight to your door. Visit Lucy Co Yak and use promo code YAK Y A K to get 20 off your first order. Subscribe for another 15 off. And shipping's always free. Free shipping Lucy products are for adults only of legal age and every Order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Go get you some.

[Big Cat]

Lucy, today, how good was that food?

[Kyle Long]

Unbelievable.

[Big Cat]

I gotta go try it.

[Kyle Long]

He has got game.

[Katie]

I gotta go.

[Kyle Long]

Skills.

[Katie]

I'm gonna go try it.

[Brandon]

Is it a smart guy?

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. And just not just like, we're gonna make a great meal. We're gonna garnish it the right way. It's gonna look beautiful. This is how you plate it.

[Brandon]

Eloquent speaker as well.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

And just a sweetheart.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. I think the hair is looking good, too. His hair's getting longer.

[Brandon]

He's looking like he's been looking it back. Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Michelin star chef back there for.

[TJ]

Yeah, it just doesn't fit at barstool. He's emotionally mature.

[Kyle Long]

He's too damn good.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[TJ]

Smart.

[Kyle Long]

I didn't hear Brandon's review on the chicken sandwich, but he went.

[Brandon]

He went in to get more.

[Katic]

So.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he got seconds before he was done with. No, he got done with. Mostly he's done for the day.

[Kyle Long]

What do you guys been doing on the Yak today?

[Brandon]

What the.

[Julia]

Oh, we're looking at fights. Like coach fights at the press conferences and that. Yeah. Do you ever experience any of that? A coach getting zesty?

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. Coaches. I've had different types of zesty coaches. I've had coaches that get angry and I've had coaches that get, like, know, mouthy. But some don't commit to calling you out. They just kind of beat around the bush about it. And then I've had some coaches be like, that guy sucked, and we were up shit's creek because of that guy. I've heard it all.

[Julia]

Have you ever had a player try to fight a coach?

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, for sure. But, you know, I never. I've never seen a guy. I've never seen a guy beat up a coach.

[Julia]

Okay.

[Kyle Long]

I've seen a bunch of guys get up to get a guy away from a coach.

[Julia]

Okay.

[Kyle Long]

Before.

[Julia]

You gotta hope that happens if you're the guy about to punch.

[Brandon]

Has a coach ever said something to you that hurt your feelings pretty bad?

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. 100. Matt Nagy, the former head coach of the Chicago Bears. It was his first day at football practice, and, you know, I was a veteran player on the team, and we had a defensive coordinator, Vic Fangio, and Vic Fangio was kind of the assistant to the head coach, the elder statesman. His opinion was paramount, and whatever he had to say, everybody listened. And I remember Nagy was like, kyle, break down the team. You know, it's your huddle. Break them down at the end of practice, and I went up there. I was like, 1, 2, 3, bears. And I walked away, and Vic Fangio grabbed me by the arm. He goes, he didn't deserve that. Whoa. I'm still tight with Vic. There's some coaches who know how to get the most out of their guys, and that's just one way that Vic was very good about finding a way to motivate you.

[Big Cat]

That and the meatballs.

[Kyle Long]

Meatballs he would make.

[Big Cat]

He makes meatballs for the best player on the defense.

[Kyle Long]

That's why akeem Hicks was 410 pounds.

[Big Cat]

That was incredible chicken.

[Kyle Long]

It was really good.

[Big Cat]

Really, really good.

[Kyle Long]

Kimchi coopy mayo on the bun and spicy fried chicken. Shout out to Koreans. They got Seoul over there in Korea.

[Brandon]

Hey.

[TJ]

Yeah, I know.

[Big Cat]

Nice.

[Kyle Long]

I love listening. Guys. I. I sit around, okay, now between my hits at CBS Sports hq, and I'm like, oh, it's midday. I'm gonna throw in the yak. And you guys are just. You guys crush it. I mean, it's really a chill. Listen.

[TJ]

So we're sonic wallpaper. I just throw it on and don't think about it. You listen to us. 4th or 5th.

[Kyle Long]

Found out about stags a couple weeks ago.

[Brandon]

Oh, from Cody?

[Kyle Long]

I thought he was Canadian, but apparently they do stags in the United States.

[Katic]

Buffalo.

[Katie]

Buffalo.

[Maserati Mike]

Cody's is this weekend.

[Brandon]

Cody's is this weekend.

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah. He needs that basket pick.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he needs some money.

[Big Cat]

Oh, is that what he was coming up in? Sheepishly.

[Maserati Mike]

For sure.

[Brandon]

He's been lingering today, huh?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Maserati Mike]

His stack. He's. I think he's leaving tomorrow or.

[Big Cat]

He said he had something for me. Does he have something for me?

[Maserati Mike]

I have no idea.

[Brandon]

Like a bill?

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Maserati Mike]

Or like a bit.

[Eddie]

Huh.

[Brandon]

Yeah. You owe him money?

[Big Cat]

I do owe him money.

[Maserati Mike]

His stag is on Friday. Saturday.

[Big Cat]

Mount Rushmore of Kyle's. Right now.

[TJ]

Who do we got? Not like some, like, historical game changers.

[Katic]

What?

[Katie]

Schwarber.

[Big Cat]

South Park Long power Schwarber.

[Kyle Long]

His name was like he had a Polish name.

[Katie]

Kyle Nelson Villaowski.

[TJ]

Have there been any KY who have changed, like, history outside of sports?

[Brandon]

We're not counting last name, right?

[Maserati Mike]

Chris Kyle.

[Big Cat]

Chris Kyle.

[Katic]

Kyle.

[Big Cat]

That doesn't count.

[Katie]

He seems like it should count, though.

[Julia]

Bravi. Kyle.

[Kyle Long]

That's it.

[Julia]

Kyle Kyle from Mill Housewives Lowry. Kyle Bush Lady Kyle.

[Kyle Long]

Kyle Bush Special.

[Katie]

Kyle Bush is up there.

[Kyle Long]

The Candyman.

[Big Cat]

Or do you think we'll ever have a Kyle President? No chance, right?

[Kyle Long]

We had a Ulysses.

[Big Cat]

That's true.

[Katie]

Yeah, but you could be anything.

[Big Cat]

There was someone sitting in like late 1700s being like, no chance we get a Ulysses.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

And we did.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I lost everything. I bet there would never be a Millard

[Kyle Long]

Two Bushes.

[Big Cat]

Ulysses should be a name that comes back.

[Kyle Long]

It's a great name, but you can't

[Brandon]

really shorten it, can you?

[TJ]

Yeah, it's hard to say.

[Katie]

Y. I don't know.

[Kyle Long]

Y.

[Katie]

What else can't be sissies Lease.

[Big Cat]

What was his middle name?

[Maserati Mike]

S. No, I don't.

[Brandon]

No, it wasn't.

[Katie]

They just made the letter, right?

[Brandon]

A teacher just gave that to.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I don't think it was an.

[Big Cat]

He didn't have a middle name.

[Katie]

He didn't have a middle.

[Big Cat]

I don't.

[Brandon]

I don't think. No, it wasn't.

[Big Cat]

S. That'd be really funny if it was Ulyses Grant.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, sound right. So they were like, ulyses es Grant.

[Big Cat]

It'd be so funny if it was like Scott.

[Brandon]

No way.

[Big Cat]

He just could have been Scott Grant the whole time.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And he.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Steven. He lists Steven.

[Katie]

H. See, there wasn't even.

[Kyle Long]

His name was Haram.

[Big Cat]

That's Haram.

[Julia]

Haram.

[Kyle Long]

I'm sorry, I just read that. I don't see the word hyam anywhere. It's 2026. I apologize. I'm just learning to read Aram.

[Big Cat]

I like to.

[Kyle Long]

That was good.

[Maserati Mike]

Same with Harry Truman. The S is.

[Katie]

Oh, that might have been.

[Big Cat]

Wait. What?

[Maserati Mike]

I was thinking Harry Truman's ass is

[Katie]

just S. They're just throwing this.

[Kyle Long]

Got two more S's. USS Harry S. Truman.

[Katic]

Oh my God.

[Katie]

So many S's.

[Kyle Long]

Too many hands.

[Katie]

So is S the key to become Eddie S. Farrar.

[Eddie]

That's it.

[Brandon]

I like that.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

What's your middle name?

[Big Cat]

It's Clarence.

[Brandon]

He's cagey about it though. You just. Oh, you just bent. You just melted in the. I've been trying for that for years.

[Eddie]

Well, that was using my clue. Was what I was using my clue.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, it's not an abbreviation of one particular name. Rather it honors both of his grandfathers.

[Big Cat]

Look, you can read.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. I would just keep the name Anderson Ship dude.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Sick name that is.

[Big Cat]

Solomon Young Truman, also a strong name. He was a cute little boy.

[Katie]

Got a brother named John Vivian. That's a tough name.

[Big Cat]

He kind of looks like your son, Kate.

[Julia]

He kind of does a little bit.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Julia]

He does. Put some blonde hair on his head.

[Big Cat]

You got a future president.

[Julia]

I'm going to put him in a bow tie today.

[TJ]

Yeah, the sun still crave authority. What do you mean do they still like fantasize. Like, I'm like, let's play make believe I'm the king or I'm the cop or I'm the.

[Julia]

At the playground on Sunday morning, we were literally, literally playing castle and.

[TJ]

Okay, he was the king.

[Maserati Mike]

Good.

[Julia]

And I was the. And I was the queen.

[Kyle Long]

You guys do bad guys.

[Julia]

All that. We do crabby claw. Bad.

[Big Cat]

Crabby.

[Julia]

I'm the. I'm the evil crab.

[Kyle Long]

And I. Oh, my daughters are like, you're the bad guy. Yeah, I know.

[Julia]

I'm the crab.

[Brandon]

He assigned you crab?

[Julia]

Yes.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

What's he.

[Julia]

He's just a guy on the crab. All the other parents are being normal and I'm like going sideways across the playground.

[Big Cat]

It's good, mom.

[Brandon]

That's kind of how you move anyway.

[Julia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Long]

What do you do about. What do you do about kids that are mean at the playground with your kid?

[Katie]

Stare at their parents.

[Kyle Long]

Slapping them is not enough?

[Big Cat]

No, I did not slap them.

[Katie]

Clear your throat.

[TJ]

How often do you guys find yourself in these situations?

[Ad Host]

I do.

[Kyle Long]

I do find myself.

[TJ]

Oh, that's horrible.

[Katie]

Playground is the worst spot for, for a parent because you, you start micro watching these kids and then there's older kids that are mean to your kids and you just want to.

[Kyle Long]

My line is, where the are their parents?

[Julia]

It's very socially stressful. Sometimes you get in like really weird social.

[Katie]

How old are your kids?

[Kyle Long]

Just turned four. Just turned two.

[Katie]

So you're in the spot where you take them to a playground and then there'll be like an 11 year old on the playground. Yeah. And you're like, what the fuck are you doing?

[Kyle Long]

Kids got an e. Dirt bike.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I'm like, get off the monkey bars with your dirt bike.

[Julia]

The Ukrainian kids, my God, they all got motorbikes here. I live in the Ukrainian village.

[Brandon]

They stereotype about Ukrainian kids. I was like, you know, Ukrainian boys.

[Julia]

I'm not trying to stereotype, but it's crazy. They're on the playground going 80 on these. They all have motorbikes. Little motorbikes. Crazy.

[Eddie]

How's your road rage, Kyle?

[Kyle Long]

My road rage is pretty good.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Kyle Long]

It still exists, but I've done a better job of saying, you know, there's a couple people at home that would not benefit from me getting locked up today.

[Big Cat]

Wait, you. Do you have famous road. Road rage?

[Eddie]

No, I just.

[Kyle Long]

I just, you know.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Seems like a guy that would get a little mad behind the wheel.

[Kyle Long]

No, I do this a lot. I do this a lot.

[Eddie]

I profiled you on that.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, I do. I Look at them through their rear view. And I go, that's it.

[Eddie]

That's.

[Kyle Long]

You never know who has guns anymore either.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

That's a big like, trust me. In 2008, I was like,

[Big Cat]

yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Now I'm like, everybody is packing, bro.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Julia]

Every now and then if someone cuts me off and then they get stuck at the red light, I make sure I applaud.

[Kyle Long]

I go, good job.

[Big Cat]

Oh, you give him the sarcastic and

[Brandon]

then you do you get nervous.

[Kyle Long]

Two hands on the wheel, straight ahead.

[Big Cat]

Do you honk, big cat? Not really. The only time I get upset is when someone's just going like, wait. You know when you're in front of someone who they don't know where they're going and they're going super slow. That's the only time, like, that's really

[Brandon]

nerve wracking for them anyway.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Just pull over.

[Eddie]

The most upset I get is when

[Kyle Long]

you five, you're kind of like right

[Eddie]

next to someone and you could tell they're on the phone because they start swerving into you. You know, that's the worst because that is bad. Distracted.

[Kyle Long]

Yes. Driving with kids is like, changes everything. Like when it's just you in the car, you're like, it. I'm gonna battle this guy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

And it ends up being like a 72 year old woman. And you're like, I'm so sorry that was not for you.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I never really had road rage. I mean, it's just a bunch of Stephen Chase out there. He's a bad driver.

[Kyle Long]

Is he really bad? I'll pretend to be shocked.

[Julia]

Manny Pacquiao.

[Big Cat]

Steven's like a very bad driver. Remember when he told us he didn't know how to get on and off the highway?

[Brandon]

He said he knows he's going to die in a car accident.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Really?

[Brandon]

I'd be dead right if I knew that.

[Julia]

There's one particular ramp here he talks about.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Julia]

Really struggles.

[Big Cat]

You just can't figure out.

[Brandon]

He gets honked at every time.

[Julia]

Yes.

[Maserati Mike]

Every time he's getting honked at, like on like a more than weekly basis.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I always got in a crash almost at that chocolate factory on the way into the city.

[Big Cat]

It's gone now, but like when we

[Kyle Long]

used to drive downtown, I'd be like, oh, chocolate. I'd lose focus.

[Big Cat]

Yep, yep. Blahmers. I know.

[Kyle Long]

They're gone.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Ran out of cocoa beans.

[Brandon]

That's the worst thing for a chocolate package.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. Oh, the straight of Hormuz.

[Katic]

All of our cocoa beans are backed up.

[Kyle Long]

Crude cocoa.

[Big Cat]

How is it talking to Katic and T. Bob, I feel like you guys could have just.

[Kyle Long]

Although Kiddick loves it, I've never met T. Bob, but we've had many social media interactions, and I got. I got the understanding that me and him would just get along great. Yeah, I've never met Katic, but the fact that we do have the offensive line thing going, that's like an easy way to start a conversation. I just love the guy. After hanging out with him today, you know, I'd go to war for that guy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he can.

[Katie]

If.

[Big Cat]

If he sees an offensive lineman, he just. It's over. He's just like, I'm.

[Kyle Long]

I'm.

[Big Cat]

My day is just talking to this person. He loves it.

[Kyle Long]

There's not many people that are walking around £300, 65 that you can relate to, and, yeah, good for a living. So it's nice to be like, oh, my God, another mutant.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, here we are.

[Brandon]

Brandon.

[Katie]

What?

[Kyle Long]

Brandon, you could have played tight. What did you play?

[Katie]

Oh, no, no, no, no. I was. I wasn't big till much later.

[Big Cat]

I was.

[Katie]

I was like one. I was like, 180 in high school.

[Big Cat]

Okay. He's Lurch. Yeah, well, that's his nickname.

[Katie]

That wasn't something we had to talk about, but. Yeah, I was like, 6 5, 1, 8 0. 195 until I was, like, 25 years old.

[Big Cat]

He's Lurch.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You know Lurch from the Adams family?

[Kyle Long]

I do, yeah.

[Katic]

You

[Brandon]

will say that to you.

[Katie]

People were saying no. Yeah, that's what they were saying. That's fine.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man.

[Kyle Long]

So you wasted all that size in SEC country.

[Katie]

I grew. I grew into, like, a tight end body. I grew into, like, a, you know, a body like that. But I never.

[Kyle Long]

I'm looking at him right now. I never played next to you.

[Katie]

I never had it back in the day, but. Yeah, but mine is.

[Big Cat]

You. You.

[Katie]

You got skinny after you finished playing, right? I didn't get. I didn't get big enough until I was, like, 30.

[Big Cat]

You went reverse?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Julia]

What was your heaviest weight? Like, what was the biggest?

[Kyle Long]

352.

[Julia]

Wow.

[Kyle Long]

And I'm 305 today.

[Julia]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Does it. What does it feel like knowing, like, wherever you go, you could just physically manhandle anyone pretty good?

[Kyle Long]

That is. That is a dangerous thought process to have.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. But I would have it all the

[Kyle Long]

time if I were you, but it's not the case. I mean, 92% sure this. There's plenty of guys, men and women, that would be able to handle me based on what they know.

[Katie]

It's at least 98%.

[Big Cat]

Do you think Kyle could take you down?

[Kyle Long]

I think he's a wrestler. I think he would. He would. I think he looks at me like Alex Honnold looks at Half Dome, and he's like, you know what? I might die on this, but if I climb it, Kate. So that's what I'm.

[Big Cat]

Is that true, Kyle?

[Kyle Long]

I have every. I have free climbers everywhere I go. Yeah. I want to climb mountain.

[Big Cat]

That's a perfect analogy.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I'm just.

[Katic]

You are.

[TJ]

I'm just eyeing down your ankle.

[Big Cat]

You're the. You're the Alex Honnold of men.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You look at a man, climb them all.

[TJ]

Oh, yeah,

[Big Cat]

yeah, yeah. You just see big men, you want to climb.

[TJ]

Every diminutive wrestler does size.

[Kyle Long]

Like, I had so many teammates.

[TJ]

Could I take them down?

[Kyle Long]

6 foot to 6, to 275 to 285, which is like 3 and a half inches shorter, 50 pounds lighter, and I'd still be like, I'm not with that guy. Case in point, Olin Crutz.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah, he's.

[Kyle Long]

When Olin Cruz played, he was what, bad? 295, probably.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

And he was. He packed as much volume as he could onto his frame. He's done now, but his hands are still as violent.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Still understands leverage. He still understand. Those guys scare the living out of me.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Leverage.

[TJ]

The people who have leverage, like people in positions of authority where they know that there could never be a physical altercation, kind of abuse that power and like, almost Jay Cutler.

[Kyle Long]

You mean

[TJ]

like TSA agents?

[Kyle Long]

Well, I was thinking about quarterbacks, because quarterbacks know that they can't get. Oh, yeah, they're made men, as it were. It was like the scene in the departer where he's like, I'm the guy that tells you who you can hit and who you can't hit. And that guy right there, you can't hit him. That was Jay Color. Now, there was many days. You know Jay. I know Jay. I loved him. I loved him. But, man, oh, man, he would piss you off. Yeah, they're moody, and he'd be like, what, do you want to hit me? Don't you? And I'd be like, yes, I do. But Jimmy Claussen's the next quarterback. Love Jimmy, too.

[Katie]

But, you know.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that red jersey.

[Kyle Long]

Apples and oranges.

[Big Cat]

Don't touch them. Oh, man.

[Kyle Long]

Quarterbacks, man.

[Julia]

Tell me about it.

[TJ]

Y' all see that?

[Big Cat]

The.

[TJ]

The Colorado team walking out looking all tiny.

[Kyle Long]

What was up with that video?

[TJ]

They. They did look.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[TJ]

What was going on.

[Kyle Long]

It looked like maybe the class of 2029. Like current JV players got to go and experience like a run out at the Colorado Stadium. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Every commit's little brother, they looked like.

[TJ]

Was. Was that just like a lot of backups?

[Katie]

No, that was their starters.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man.

[Julia]

For Colorado.

[Brandon]

How do you think they're going to do, Brandon?

[Katie]

Very poorly.

[Brandon]

Oh, that sucks. Right?

[Katie]

Hammer the.

[Big Cat]

Under this guy.

[Katie]

That's the starting quarterback.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie]

Well, the center, even the I.

[Big Cat]

There's something up with this. These guys look too tiny.

[Julia]

Was this posted from their official account?

[Big Cat]

Is the angle off?

[Maserati Mike]

Like.

[Katie]

Well, a lot of them are wearing them down yet.

[Big Cat]

Do you guys see? Jay Williams is fighting against AI?

[Kyle Long]

No.

[Julia]

No.

[Katie]

Or.

[Big Cat]

Okay, not R.J. williams. The Duke one.

[Katie]

The Duke one.

[Kyle Long]

And motorcycle.

[Katie]

Artificial intelligence. Or Al N Iverson artificial intelligence.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

I guess he was upset that people were doing an AI video of Tiger woods driving and crashing his car up the 18th fairway.

[Katie]

Too many people were.

[Kyle Long]

By the way, funny video.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, funny like so AI.

[Katie]

Yeah,

[Big Cat]

well, no, he was drinking.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he blew triple zeros.

[Kyle Long]

My father in law sent me a link to that Facebook post three times this week. Did you see the video yet of Tiger? Yeah. Yes.

[Big Cat]

But Jay Williams, like, he came in

[Katic]

hard

[Big Cat]

to the point that I think he's gonna have an AI problem going forward. Because if you pull up the tweet,

[Katie]

oh, he's made an enemy of AI.

[Julia]

Right. He's gonna be turned into.

[Big Cat]

It was the most like cop tweet I've ever seen.

[Julia]

And this is just a coach. This is.

[Big Cat]

This is a former player.

[Kyle Long]

Espn former player, media personality.

[Julia]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he was one of the goats. He was really mad.

[Kyle Long]

He's been around for a while.

[Big Cat]

Mocking Tiger woods with AI isn't entertainment. It's exploitation ad st, PGA and CBS footage. In comes theft. That's a real man with real kids and a real family. Platforms need to take it down now.

[Katie]

Jesus.

[Big Cat]

You're gonna. He's just getting. He's just going to get AI.

[Kyle Long]

Everything is going to be AI now with him.

[Big Cat]

This is.

[Katie]

Oh, this was the ceremony, though.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Katie]

No, this is.

[Big Cat]

This is all real.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's real. That's.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no. Here comes. Here comes Sagar.

[Eddie]

Oh.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no. Is he gonna get out? Oh, he got out. Oh, God. Now he's storming the stage with a bottle of his favorite.

[Dana]

Stop it.

[Maserati Mike]

Dude.

[Kyle Long]

Stop it. I didn't see this part.

[Katie]

Okay, all right.

[Kyle Long]

This gets too.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's a little much.

[Katie]

Come on.

[Brandon]

It could have ended at the park.

[Kyle Long]

Come On Rory's a great golfer.

[Big Cat]

Anyways, thank God the Augusta, the PD Are stepping in.

[Kyle Long]

We'll continue coverage of the ceremony after they clean this.

[Katie]

This is.

[Kyle Long]

It's all a bit sad to me, guys, because Tiger woods was, like, the closest thing that we had to a deity growing up. Unless you're, like, a Michael Jordan Chicago fan, which I understand there's plenty of those. But in, like, an individual sport, he just dominated everybody at a clip that we just haven't seen. And to watch him go through all this stuff is terrible. And, like, I'll laugh hard when the Range Rover flips. Like, I will. And it's a great video, but part of me is, like, I've been the guy that's been made fun of on this app before, and it's not fun, but also, like, it's sad because he is a tragic. Tiger was cruising at 90,000ft for so long.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And then what?

[Kyle Long]

He's. He's in our atmosphere.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

But, like, even before AI, this would have happened, like, like with a cartoon or a comic. Yeah, Just the medium, I guess.

[Big Cat]

But he is a tragic figure.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

He just wants some privacy, guys. Yeah, just let him drive.

[Big Cat]

Just talking to the president.

[Kyle Long]

Just woke up in Japan, by the way.

[Big Cat]

Talking to the president.

[Kyle Long]

That should be the story. Just on the phone, just.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, sorry. I was on the phone with the president.

[Katie]

What a line.

[Big Cat]

You don't. No, the clip from the arrest.

[Kyle Long]

That's what he actually said.

[Brandon]

He said that.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He literally walked away when the cops showed up.

[Kyle Long]

He was off camera. They, like, showed up, saw the crash, and he was walking back from, like, street side on the phone, and the cop was like, hey, come here.

[Big Cat]

Thank you so much.

[Katic]

All right.

[Big Cat]

It's such an awesome line. Thank you.

[Katic]

Is that good?

[Brandon]

Just keep you down here with us, please.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, I was just talking to the president.

[TJ]

I never saw that

[Big Cat]

song of the President.

[Kyle Long]

There was also the video. The cops looking at his, like, 60 degree way.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I know.

[Kyle Long]

They had his bag out on the side of the road, and they're like, damn, this is the one that the US Open. He's like, yep, that's it.

[Big Cat]

That's the one. That's the problem. Just talking to the president.

[Brandon]

That was very miny of him.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Walking by saying, oh, yeah, my bad. Just President. Yeah, me and President.

[Katie]

Yeah. Just talking to Kim Muli.

[Kyle Long]

I'm surprised he didn't run.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Where would you run, though? I don't know.

[Kyle Long]

Tiger would figure it out.

[Big Cat]

I'm surprised he doesn't have a guy who's, like, following him around? Who could just be like, it was me.

[Kyle Long]

It was like a drone to pick him up.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, like, yeah, that was me. I was in the car.

[Katie]

Or a driver.

[Big Cat]

Or driver that. You know what, Danny? I never thought of that.

[Kyle Long]

And that's 200 IQ.

[Big Cat]

That's good right there.

[Julia]

You'd think a golfer would have a driver.

[Brandon]

There we go.

[Kyle Long]

I really thought he was going to show up at the Masters.

[Big Cat]

It would have been sick.

[Kyle Long]

I don't know how that works. Like, is it too late? Was it too late?

[Big Cat]

It was too late.

[Katie]

It was too hot in the streets.

[Brandon]

Yeah, funny, Kate.

[Big Cat]

It was fun.

[Julia]

We didn't hear drivers at the club.

[Kyle Long]

I guess he did show up to the map.

[Katie]

Yeah, right there.

[Julia]

Yes. He was spending too much.

[Katie]

Oh, you're still in the club. Okay.

[Kyle Long]

To get a driver club.

[Brandon]

You got it.

[Julia]

The driver. I don't want this conversation put a wedge in between us.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, that was awesome.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Brandon]

You're so close.

[Julia]

Puttering along.

[Big Cat]

Eddie's out.

[Kyle Long]

We gotta drive.

[Katie]

This killed Eddie.

[Brandon]

That's gone.

[Big Cat]

Tell Dana to come down if he's there. Oh, I want to. Actually.

[Brandon]

I think Kate's out of clubs, though, so I think we're good.

[Julia]

Oh, don't be catty.

[TJ]

Okay.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, no, that was rough.

[Brandon]

Oh, you both.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, you keep chipping away at it.

[Brandon]

What's happening?

[Kyle Long]

Oh, that one's stinging.

[Brandon]

All right. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

All right. God, Brandon, do this, please.

[Brandon]

I can't wait for this.

[Big Cat]

Get us out of this.

[Julia]

He's got a handicap.

[Katie]

Nobody tells you about this stuff. One day you're crushing it, next day you're wondering why everything feels twice as hard.

[TJ]

Come on, we're talking.

[Kyle Long]

Scratch that.

[Katie]

Sorry.

[Big Cat]

Oh, come on, Brandon. Stay in the pocket, Brandon.

[Brandon]

You got it.

[Katie]

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[Kyle Long]

It's a great deal.

[Big Cat]

I got people sending me facts now. Kyle.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's good.

[TJ]

Hit me with one.

[Big Cat]

Bananas are slightly radioactive.

[Katie]

What?

[Big Cat]

Nothing.

[Katie]

What was that noise?

[Kyle Long]

I'm just like amazed.

[Big Cat]

You can't hum while holding your nose closed.

[Brandon]

That sounded like a hum. Yeah.

[TJ]

Kay just did it.

[Katie]

Well, women, it's one of those things that women do, like standing on the wall with their head or something.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Human nose can remember up to 50,000 smells.

[Kyle Long]

What you mean?

[TJ]

Okay, that.

[Julia]

No, 50,000 smells.

[Katie]

But how do we get to that number?

[TJ]

Do it for me.

[Big Cat]

The Eiffel Tower grows in the summer. Your stomach gets a new lining every three to four days. Stop it from digesting itself.

[Katie]

Oh, nothing.

[Big Cat]

A single cloud can weigh over a million kilograms.

[Kyle Long]

I was thinking about this.

[Brandon]

Kyle, please, just feign. I mean, say whoa. Please.

[Kyle Long]

The 50.

[TJ]

That one.

[Kyle Long]

£50 million of. What'd you say?

[Big Cat]

A human or a single cloud can weigh over a million kilograms.

[Kyle Long]

Okay, so I was thinking about this. Flying to Chicago yesterday through a storm. And in Florida, there's always rain clouds, there's always storm. And you know when you hit the clouds, when you're taking off, you do the little. There's a little bit of turbulence. How much water are you actually running into? What are the forces it puts.

[Katie]

Good question.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

And has there ever been such a voluminously large water cloud that just like stops an airplane or something?

[Big Cat]

Because what if I don't want hail

[Julia]

balls in that cloud?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Julia]

Because a plane ever flew through a hail.

[Big Cat]

Hail. Hail coming.

[Katie]

Hail's low, right?

[Brandon]

Hail's low.

[Julia]

But it's in a cloud.

[Brandon]

Or does it become hail low.

[Big Cat]

Does it become hail as it goes down, though?

[Julia]

It's in the cloud.

[Katie]

It starts as hell. And then everything turns to rain as it gets.

[Brandon]

Everything starts as hail.

[Katie]

Not everything.

[Julia]

Okay, it's icy up.

[Big Cat]

This is Your fault. All you had to do was say, oh, that's cool. All you got to say was, atlanta's farther west than South America and we wouldn't be here.

[TJ]

Yeah. Maybe facts are just losing steam.

[Julia]

Do you have any?

[Katie]

Oh, you're a huge facts guy. I don't act like you're. You're turned off to facts. I want to be right back.

[Big Cat]

I want to be a facts guy.

[TJ]

That those are topic science. Like, those are topics that I know so little about that I'm incapable of being wild.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You have to be able to grasp it somehow.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Brandon]

We debated on WUB today with the WNBA draft. The Wings drafted their star players. Girlfriend.

[TJ]

I saw this.

[Brandon]

And then Chase said, that would be awesome. No, I don't think so.

[Kyle Long]

I hate to play with my boyfriend.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

What if he's an.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Katie]

What if they break up?

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Brandon]

They're young.

[Katie]

But did she tell him, hey, I need you to draft.

[Big Cat]

But it's also like, the locker room vibe has got to be off when there's a couple.

[Katie]

Oh, you're right.

[TJ]

They could also work.

[Brandon]

Like, could. Kyle, if you were Matt Forte.

[Big Cat]

Yep.

[Brandon]

Do you think that would divide the locker room

[Big Cat]

openly dating me and Matt? Matt lives around here.

[Kyle Long]

That's. Matt Forte. Is my guy.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He's the man.

[Kyle Long]

By the way, he would laugh at this medical. Yeah. I don't know. It'd be weird.

[Brandon]

I, like, there's so hypothetical.

[Kyle Long]

There's so many more guys in a locker room in the NFL.

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I get lost in a crowd when you're like, when there's six people on the bench in basketball, it's like a third of your team is dating.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Or exes.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Julia]

But probably good for the league because now I'm interested. I'm like, is there going to be. I'm like, paying more attention to it.

[Big Cat]

I guess. There is a married couple on the.

[Brandon]

Didn't they split up? A married couple with a trade the

[Big Cat]

lady saw this year. What are the lady sons?

[Brandon]

Sonnets.

[Big Cat]

The Mercury.

[Katie]

Mercury. I like the lady Sons better than Mercury, but.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, the Mercury.

[Brandon]

Well, so they were dating and living in different states before.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, well, they started Yukon.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Both Yukon.

[Brandon]

So they probably like that.

[Kyle Long]

A couple Huskies.

[Big Cat]

Yeah,

[Kyle Long]

that's Yukon.

[Brandon]

They're in good shape.

[Kyle Long]

You know what you meant, Kyle.

[Katie]

Stereotype.

[Kyle Long]

I swear to God. That's your Matt.

[Big Cat]

I know, but that's kind of a

[Brandon]

funny term for lesbians, I guess.

[Kyle Long]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

My head. A few Huskies.

[Kyle Long]

Well, that's you.

[Katic]

Oh, no.

[Katie]

You said it man for the man.

[Kyle Long]

Matt is going to be pissed at you.

[Katie]

Butch. Husky.

[Brandon]

Butch.

[Dana]

Husky.

[Big Cat]

Dana, come on in.

[Kyle Long]

There he is.

[TJ]

Oh, speaking of another humdinger.

[Katie]

I, I, I, I need.

[Big Cat]

That was mean, Kate.

[Julia]

I'm just kidding.

[Big Cat]

No, we were talking about husky.

[Katic]

Yeah, we're husky guys.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Julia]

There's no shame in it.

[Katie]

Can you guys judge if I need to apologize to Dana? I think we worked through it. We were okay. Yesterday I saw Dana from behind twice. Yesterday. Twice?

[Kyle Long]

Ew.

[Katie]

Within the spot of like 20 minutes. And I was looking for T. Bob at the time. And twice I said, hey, T. Bob.

[Katic]

That's not an apology.

[Katie]

I think it's fine. T. Bob's good looking guy, right?

[Katic]

And I was wearing clothes similar to what he would wear. Yeah, I think that's totally fine.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Pretty assed up too.

[Big Cat]

Bob is so ass.

[Katic]

If anything, that's a comp.

[Katie]

That's a good person to get confused for. Okay.

[Katic]

I would say that's an upgrade.

[Katie]

Now if I said to T. Bob, hey, Dana.

[Katic]

Yeah, that's probably.

[Brandon]

I think T. Bob's. Your looks match, dude.

[Katic]

I'll take it.

[Katie]

I think it's close behind.

[Brandon]

If you had to like divvy up. If you had to make hypothetical gay couples in the office, I think you guys be perfect.

[Katie]

Wow.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, who else?

[Katie]

I think Dana wants to be gay with Katie.

[Kyle Long]

No.

[Katic]

Well, me and Katic went out for beers yesterday and I had my dog and like a little like bag.

[Big Cat]

Oh, okay. This is helping.

[Katic]

Well, me and him were walking. Like, if you just saw us with me with my little dachshund.

[Kyle Long]

This sounds on point.

[Katic]

You would think we're very.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[Katic]

So. But I'll be gay with anyone. I don't.

[Katie]

With anyone. You would have standards.

[Kyle Long]

I mean.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Like, I like you like bald guys.

[Katic]

Yeah, I would, I'd.

[TJ]

You Would you big guys prefer to date a, A man that's like a lot smaller than you or like pretty big?

[Kyle Long]

I don't know. I need a Cirque du Solaire.

[Big Cat]

I'd go for like, for like Blake.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

The opportunity to be like enveloped would be nice.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

To be little spoon just to completely disappear.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Free sample.

[Brandon]

Why not?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Katie]

I think if you're a little guy in the office, you're definitely hunting a big guy.

[Katic]

Yeah. Like, I, I feel like I'd be getting why I'm not a 6, 3, 2, 8. I'm just not much of a.

[Kyle Long]

You strike me as a cuddler.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You're not Much of a.

[Big Cat]

You don't.

[Katic]

I mean, I.

[Brandon]

But, like, barely.

[Kyle Long]

But if it was a dude, if I have to.

[Big Cat]

Actually, you know what? I'm. I'm gonna defend you. I'm not a either.

[Katic]

I think. I think I'm getting.

[Big Cat]

No, I don't think it like that. I mean, I'm saying it differently. Like, I'll have sex, but I. I don't. I'm not. I'm not.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, I've never.

[Katic]

Oh, no, no, I'm not.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's like.

[Kyle Long]

So it's less pitching, catching, and more just playing.

[Katic]

Yeah, right.

[Big Cat]

I'm not like.

[Katie]

Oh, man.

[Big Cat]

I. Like, I've never done that in my life.

[Kyle Long]

No, that'd be good.

[Katic]

That's what I meant.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah. If you're with, like, Cody and he

[Brandon]

was the one you.

[Katic]

Yeah, okay.

[Big Cat]

No, there's only a certain type of dude that can, like.

[Brandon]

I want to name a dude in the office. You say. Or her. Okay. Ebo. Eva's a. Connor Griffin.

[Kyle Long]

Yes.

[TJ]

Perfect Connor.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[TJ]

He's calling his A. Don't call your Steve.

[Katie]

Connor.

[Big Cat]

Stop it.

[TJ]

Stop calling your asshole stinky asshole.

[Brandon]

Dude, I'm trying to fuck you. Please don't do this. You did. You brought it up.

[Katic]

How did this start? You said husky.

[Big Cat]

Right?

[Brandon]

It shouldn't have gone to that.

[Big Cat]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Kyle Long]

How about Hank?

[Big Cat]

Hank's a fucker.

[Kyle Long]

Hank likes to golf.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

He doesn't talk a lot.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he's a. I think he's a.

[Big Cat]

Max might be a. E. I thought

[Katie]

Max was a. Max is a. Come on.

[Big Cat]

I think Max.

[Katie]

Max is a.

[Katic]

He's probably so loud.

[Brandon]

I could see Max going, like, one leg on the bed for, like.

[Big Cat]

And behind the head.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Bulgarians. Yeah, dude.

[Brandon]

Like, noise complaint.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

This is so loud. Means he's gonna be so loud.

[Katic]

I said that?

[Brandon]

Yes, dude, about three seconds ago.

[Katic]

Oh, well, yeah.

[Katie]

You can't.

[Katic]

He's a loud guy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he is a loud guy. It'd be weird if he was soft when he.

[Katie]

What's. Steven?

[Katic]

You don't think he's loud? Tj unfortunately, he's, like, the loudest guy we got.

[Brandon]

You thinks while he's had sex. I think. I think Stephen Che is like, a. Like, study tape.

[Big Cat]

Ah.

[Brandon]

And then go in and try new.

[Kyle Long]

Knows all the angles, percentage shots.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he's an efficient.

[Kyle Long]

A lot of elbow jumpers.

[Brandon]

I don't think. Perfect form.

[Katie]

That was the perfect.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, no, I think Stephen J. Pops his ass out, screens it around like. Oh, you want to. This. He's walking around.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, my God, what have we done?

[Julia]

I don't know. You con. You. You did this. You did this.

[Big Cat]

Going back to unintentional. Connor Griffin calling his a. What a. Does he. He does that?

[TJ]

Yes, I saw that. It's like a. A current complaint in the gay community.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, really?

[Katie]

You saw that?

[Brandon]

Where'd you see that?

[TJ]

I guess my algorithm showed.

[Brandon]

And, like, how was that frame? Like, it was just to do those. Like, I'm tired of guys.

[TJ]

I'm tired of gay dudes trying to be all cute and calling their stinky. That was pretty funny. I can see like, a dude trying to be all flirtatious.

[Big Cat]

My.

[Katic]

Have you guys seen the new thing where people talking about Prince?

[Brandon]

The singer?

[Katic]

No, Prince. P R I N T. Oh, we started that.

[Julia]

Oh, no, there's a whole.

[Katic]

There's like a grading system now.

[Julia]

There's a grading system and there's like a how to. For how to eye up a guy based on the print on the pants.

[Kyle Long]

Really?

[Julia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Long]

We did this in the NFL, by the way.

[Katic]

Really?

[Kyle Long]

Standard Teddy Bridgewater line stuff.

[Big Cat]

Got them.

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah.

[Katic]

Teddy Bridge, our old line.

[Kyle Long]

The lockers were always right by the shower. You were going to get heckled by six fat guys while you're trying to go shower. And I think we might have started this print talk stuff.

[Katic]

Okay.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Frog, dog, Dragon, Dragon plus.

[Katie]

There's like a whole Dragon plus Dragon plus

[Brandon]

Dragon is in, like, dragon on the ground or like mythical beast. There had to be something in between dog and dragon. You can't go from dog to dragon.

[Katie]

What's the difference with dragon and dragon?

[TJ]

Yeah. What Legendary to the coining of Dragon plus.

[Brandon]

Did you have to deem a new Dragon plus?

[Kyle Long]

I think it was a specific name, but we're going to keep the name out of there. Forte Dragon. No, Dragon plus would have just been, you know. But I give credit to Brad Sal, who was an o lineman for us, the guy who caught the touchdown in 2018. The O lineman. He did the Santa sleigh dance. One of the funniest guys I ever played with. I think he's an old miss guy. Just hilarious. Just. I know you don't like Ole Miss.

[Katie]

Yeah, I know him, though. Bradley. Bradley Soul, Right? Yeah. I'm trying to remember.

[Kyle Long]

I've been saying it wrong for 10 years, son. But Brad was the guy who, you know, he kept the list, the log book.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

What is it? The hog book. And he be like, we got to. He'd be like, what are you doing? We got to make a change to 65. You know, it Got warmer this week. He's gone from frog to dog. What's up, D.J. how the hell are you?

[Big Cat]

What are you doing? Dante thought Dog Fle was here.

[Kyle Long]

This is.

[Big Cat]

What was that? Dante?

[Brandon]

It's been the same time every day

[Big Cat]

for there's a drive by.

[Katie]

Right. So if Doug Flutie was here talking to us, you were still just gonna come interrupt us.

[Big Cat]

That was a cool drive by. You looked really cool.

[Kyle Long]

Violently hung over.

[Katie]

Doug Fluty was awesome.

[Kyle Long]

He was so cool.

[TJ]

Okay.

[Katie]

Doug Flutie was telling stories about hanging out with Bon Jovi and. And MC Hammer in like 1990.

[Big Cat]

Damn.

[Kyle Long]

He was. He was part of that league that Donald Trump was trying to USFL start the. It was ahead of him.

[Big Cat]

You play in three leagues?

[Katie]

He played the usfl, cfl, NFL. Yes. And his last year he said he was thinking about playing the Arena League, but he didn't.

[Kyle Long]

God loves ball.

[Big Cat]

Loves ball.

[Katie]

He was great in the CFL too. He's like the CFL legend. Six time mvp.

[Brandon]

Was he the COVID athlete when Maxim tried to make a football game?

[Big Cat]

Well, Maxim tried to make a football.

[Brandon]

It might just be a lucky guess. Just play along.

[Katie]

Well, I don't. The way you said it. You want from it? I don't remember it.

[Brandon]

Oh, do you want me to start the conversation?

[Kyle Long]

What do you mean?

[Big Cat]

Mean Maxim.

[Katie]

You could have just said it as with a period on instead of a question.

[Brandon]

Then you could have just been like, yeah, you're right. And it would have been like you knew too. But I don't know, I thought we were.

[Katie]

But like, don't act like this is on me. This is on you. I know.

[Brandon]

You just embarrass me.

[Kyle Long]

Hate to see the big frog fighting like this.

[Brandon]

Oh, that is a frog move.

[Katie]

Frog dog.

[Kyle Long]

There are dog moves you can always make.

[Katie]

Listen, you. I thought you said there were six levels.

[Kyle Long]

Frog name Frog minus.

[Big Cat]

No. Yeah, you gotta call it tadpole frog.

[Katie]

So is it dog and dog plus Minus Dog.

[Kyle Long]

Well, how many? No, dog minus. You're just a dog or you're a dog plus.

[Katie]

Okay. And then dragon. Dragon plus.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Katie]

So you ever see anybody over a dragon plus?

[Kyle Long]

We don't talk about that.

[Brandon]

How many. How many dudes were frog minus?

[Kyle Long]

You know, how many guys in the O line room?

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Katie]

Well,

[Kyle Long]

it's all relativity, right?

[Eddie]

Sure.

[Katic]

Okay. Is this just old lineman or is this old lineman?

[Kyle Long]

We hang the. The Mona Lisa at the Hoover Dam.

[Brandon]

Oh, okay.

[Kyle Long]

Some of these guys have small.

[Brandon]

Oh, it's the framing, the body.

[Kyle Long]

Some of these guys have small boutique art galleries and they Have a normal size painting and people go, oh my God. What is that? A 72 inch screen right there?

[Julia]

Great point.

[Kyle Long]

Just relativity.

[Brandon]

It'll look like a mural on that body. Yeah, but on your body.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So frog minus stamp.

[Katie]

So you were.

[Kyle Long]

You're from probably dog, but you lost somewhere south of frog.

[Brandon]

But you lost £50. Yeah, dog.

[Big Cat]

So then the frog became a dog

[Kyle Long]

and I moved to Florida. I think I would become it, but I didn't wait chapters or John.

[Katie]

What did I move to Florida do to your.

[Brandon]

I guess it tans warmer.

[Katic]

Yeah, Your.

[Julia]

Your humidity.

[Big Cat]

It's more. The frog could become a dog.

[Katie]

Dana, shut up.

[Katic]

Dude, I know this. All right.

[Kyle Long]

This is standard.

[Big Cat]

Why do you think nobody is right? I'm a frog, but I have dog date.

[Katic]

I'm a frog minus because I've dated dog northeast climates my whole life.

[Big Cat]

Be a couple days where I'm like, whoa, whoa.

[Katic]

If I grew up in Florida, I'd be a dragon plus.

[Katie]

You spent a year spent a year down south of Mississippi today.

[Katic]

Yeah. And I had dragon days.

[Kyle Long]

You had never had dragon days.

[Katic]

I had some dragon day.

[Brandon]

What did you do on dragon days?

[Katic]

That was a war mode.

[Kyle Long]

Best way to go dragon days is to freeball.

[Katic]

That's what I'm saying. I. Dude, I know. Trust me, dude, if I had a

[Brandon]

dragon day, I would.

[Kyle Long]

You weren't a dragon in Jackson.

[Brandon]

I would take my eyes off.

[Katie]

I promise you. You weren't.

[Big Cat]

You had a frog with a dragon mask on. Yeah, no.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, but there's your.

[Brandon]

How do you know? How do you get out of frog?

[Katie]

Somebody have to work hard.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Do these things happen?

[Kyle Long]

Medieval traction.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Katie]

Oh, cool.

[Kyle Long]

Do all tables.

[Katie]

All 32 offensive lines in the league have their own language to do the same thing?

[Kyle Long]

I without a doubt am willing to say 100%.

[Big Cat]

Let's get K in here.

[Eddie]

See if we.

[Katic]

I used to do that.

[Kyle Long]

Cannot wait to hear what K. I used to do.

[Katic]

Stretching techniques weeks.

[Big Cat]

What?

[TJ]

Like what?

[Katic]

Xbox controller.

[TJ]

What?

[Katic]

Like this. Remember when they used to have a cord?

[Julia]

Wait, what?

[Brandon]

I remember when they had a cord.

[Katic]

Yeah. Put it on your dick and you. You'd sit up on top. Top bunk and let it hang.

[TJ]

You sit on top. Bump.

[Julia]

What?

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Wait, so top bunk.

[Kyle Long]

So who's on the bottom bunk?

[Katic]

No one. Yeah. This is in college.

[Brandon]

Well, Dana, weren't you done by then?

[Kyle Long]

What do you mean growing?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Katic]

Yeah. But you never know.

[Brandon]

So you would lay off?

[Katic]

I would sit on top bunk, put

[Brandon]

an Xbox controller and let it dangle.

[TJ]

And let it.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Would that hurt?

[Katic]

There's pictures out there somewhere.

[TJ]

There's pictures.

[Brandon]

I need it.

[TJ]

Was there somebody sleeping on the bottom bunk?

[Katic]

Sometimes, yeah.

[Maserati Mike]

They're playing with the controller.

[Big Cat]

They're playing Mortal Kombat on the bottom.

[Katic]

Yeah, we would just. I used to do stretching techniques. It never worked.

[Big Cat]

Katie.

[Kyle Long]

There he is.

[Big Cat]

Are you a. Are you a. Are you a frog? A dog. A dog minus.

[Brandon]

No such thing.

[Big Cat]

No dog plus. No, just dragon.

[Kyle Long]

No, there's dog plus, frog, dog, dragon,

[Big Cat]

but then there's dog plus.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And dragon plus.

[Dana]

I have no idea what this means.

[Kyle Long]

We're talking a little about what happens inside of a locker room when you let a bunch of big old fuckers that are very confident in their sexuality talk about other people's body.

[Eddie]

Bodies.

[Big Cat]

Oh, did you have a system in the Indiana locker room?

[Dana]

It was more so just like appreciation. Yeah, like balls.

[Brandon]

It was balls.

[Kyle Long]

You guys are balls. That's why Indiana was so good.

[Dana]

We didn't care much about the shaft. We were just. Wow, dude. Some big balls.

[Kyle Long]

Wow.

[Brandon]

So you were able to look past the shaft?

[Dana]

Yeah, yeah. Usually it wasn't hard to look past the sh.

[Brandon]

Okay. But it was all. Oh, interesting.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Frogger central.

[Big Cat]

Fogs.

[Dana]

Wait, can you explain the.

[Kyle Long]

The frog and I had a teammate one time that would just identify guys as Frog, Dog, or Dragon.

[Katie]

Huh.

[Dana]

Dragon was huge.

[Kyle Long]

Me.

[Brandon]

Does width matter here? Cuz Dragon, you think of like skinny neck?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

These are things I'd have to clear up with.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the committee.

[Julia]

Maybe that's the plus.

[Dana]

Frogs, fogs, frog smallest.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, there's frog minus.

[Dana]

Wow.

[Kyle Long]

Dog, dog plus, drag.

[Dana]

What were you after? Games. Cold game. Frog Double minus.

[Kyle Long]

We got video evidence.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Oh, we do.

[Dana]

That's sick.

[Kyle Long]

But as these guys have alluded, we have a lot of positional versatility.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Kyle Long]

Okay. You know, you got to catch us at the right time.

[Big Cat]

After Monday night, one year, someone posted a picture in the locker room and Kyle's dick was just out.

[Dana]

Nice.

[Kyle Long]

I had just pulled my compression shorts off and I was.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that's.

[Kyle Long]

That was the worst. I was going to the shower. Like, I just pulled it out. My thing was just starting to unslinky from inside, inside of my knee. And somebody was like, dancing on IG Live and I'm in the background. Just like, side profile.

[Brandon]

Oh, side profile.

[Kyle Long]

Dude, I get to the. You've never heard this? I get to the bus. This is Monday Night Football, bro. On the east coast. Everybody's watching. And then obviously everybody's on Twitter after. This is the Dead spin, all that stuff. I get on the bus, not knowing that any of this happened. And everybody was like, dude, look at your phone right now.

[Brandon]

Did people just think it was.

[Kyle Long]

And I was like, oh, did somebody hear me call somebody something on the field or say, you know, the mics?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Not the case. Worst nightmare. So I called up big Cat. I was like, hey, I'm coming on tomorrow.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Make some jokes.

[Dana]

Sometimes my wouldn't mind when unthaw until I got out of the show.

[Big Cat]

Oh, wow.

[Dana]

And then I'm like, boys, like. And everyone's in the same boat, like, you know, but it took a while, so.

[Kyle Long]

Not everybody.

[Dana]

Yeah, no, true. But there were some select few.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Dana]

That were just blessed

[Kyle Long]

arms.

[Dana]

Yeah, it's.

[Big Cat]

It is. I do that.

[Kyle Long]

I'm just glad I'm not alone in judgmental. For sure.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You guys really were big balls.

[Brandon]

Did a part of you want to clear your name and put out a better photo, bro?

[Katie]

100.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, but it does. What? What? It doesn't matter. You know, depends on how small. But I know that doesn't matter.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana]

Were you married at the time?

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, I was engaged at the time.

[Dana]

Okay. Yeah, that's fine.

[Kyle Long]

That's why I still got laid.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Sick.

[Dana]

Imagine if that was a guy that didn't have a girlfriend. Single. That would suck.

[Kyle Long]

I would have a. I would have a tape.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

By that next.

[Dana]

Yeah. You'd have to sling something out there.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I'd be fully waxed and taped.

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Self reporting video.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I mean, that was horrible. And there's still times where I'm like, you know, I'll be in like, the Starbucks line, and somebody's like, you're Kyle Long, right? I'm like, yeah.

[Big Cat]

I'm like, I wonder if they've seen your dick. Yeah. It's not a good.

[Kyle Long]

Not a good feeling.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Julia]

No.

[Kyle Long]

It is violating.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I didn't think it would ever feel good.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, it could have, but it didn't. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon]

I never knew that.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I've never seen it.

[TJ]

Yeah, see, I never heard of it.

[Kyle Long]

If you saw the picture, you wouldn't have seen it. Brandon, I'm gonna give it a peep. You'll be like, oh, Brandon, I'll give that guy a break.

[Dana]

Yeah, I'll understand. I've been there.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

Dana, have you seen it?

[Katie]

Kyle Long? Pain is.

[Katic]

No, but now it's all I can think of.

[Kyle Long]

These poor YAK listeners are just like,

[Big Cat]

tj, pull it up.

[Kyle Long]

Pull it up when I leave.

[Dana]

Also, Kyle, like, another thing I'm sure you can Relate to this is like when you get pictures like mid game and you just got, you know, you got the button dick.

[Kyle Long]

Oh the button in the, in the,

[Dana]

in like the white pants.

[Kyle Long]

It looks like a R3 on a PlayStation.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, exactly, dude. Or I'll get pictures like a dog knows.

[Dana]

Yeah, I'll get pictures like after games, like I go after in the stands and I'm like, what the are we doing?

[Julia]

Wait, so mid game people would send you.

[Dana]

Well, I mean like people like photographers, action shots and they're like, you're just like, this just looks horrible.

[Kyle Long]

Cuz the compressions don't do you any favors. No, horrible.

[Dana]

And then you're just like working out, you're exercising. So it just gets even smaller. Sometimes I'd go in the locker room after the game before I took pictures like with fans and stuff and just fluff it up a little.

[Julia]

Ladies have Brasil. I'm surprised they don't make like they do.

[Kyle Long]

I think, oh, they do.

[Julia]

I think, okay.

[Kyle Long]

I've seen or people are like, you know the guys that wear the sneakers that make them six inches tall.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Those same guys wear like little passion guards.

[Julia]

But a real dog just lets the button out.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Julia]

Give a. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Julia]

Good. I like. That's good.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dana]

I could care less. Still got laid, you know.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Congrats.

[Dana]

Yeah, thank you.

[Kyle Long]

We did good.

[Big Cat]

Good.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I'll never forget that phone call to Dan.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. So funny. Like guess what? We got the perfect show for it.

[Katie]

So what was the appearance like to just talk about it?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, we just made a bunch of jokes.

[Kyle Long]

Pft just kept asking about how good the AC worked in the locker room.

[Katie]

Yeah, it was good.

[Big Cat]

It was a good way to handle it. It's good. PR101.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh man, Chevy. By the way, Chevy draft season is here. Which means every one suddenly thinks they're a gm. Which is when you realize some picks just make sense. Like having a Chevy Silverado. Silverado has the power to haul pretty much everything. Gear, grills, tailgate setups. Whether you're driving to a draft party, a road game, or towing a boat to the lake, you need a truck with strength, reliability and the drive to go the distance. The same DNA you'll find in a Chevy Silverado. Capable and dependable as your top tier draft pick. Silverado shows up and gets the job done. It won't flinch when the pressure is on and doesn't take plays off when it comes to trucks. Make Chevy Silverado your number one overall pick. Check out the current offers and build Your own Chevy Silverado. Chevy.com. katic. Are you bowling tonight?

[Dana]

No, I'm leaving for LA very early tomorrow.

[Big Cat]

For what?

[Dana]

Me and Liam are shooting Campus Blitz with ucla.

[Big Cat]

Oh, nice.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Are you going from there to Vegas? Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Dude, how. How are you gonna of. How's Vegas?

[Dana]

I'm juiced, man.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dana]

It's probably gonna be the best week of my life.

[Big Cat]

Well, I mean, it's also a little bit time. It will be better than Shorehouse and the fact that you guys are just there for a week.

[Dana]

Yeah. We don't have to travel back and forth.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Dana]

Because that was the worst part of the. The Shorehouse.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Dana]

That sucked. But I'm so juiced.

[Big Cat]

I think you're gonna fall in love.

[Katie]

You should.

[Big Cat]

Is Ella going? Yeah. So. Yeah.

[Dana]

No.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Dana]

Absolutely not. I don't know. I don't know. It's like not spring break time, so I don't know what kind of crowd we're gonna get out there.

[Maserati Mike]

I'm sure WrestleMania.

[Kyle Long]

Look at the grass.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Front and center there. Yeah.

[Maserati Mike]

It's gonna be a shitload of wrestling fans this weekend.

[Dana]

I know.

[Katie]

We're going North Center.

[Dana]

We're going to Gronk.

[Kyle Long]

Some Rico is there.

[Dana]

We're going to Gronk's WWE after party.

[TJ]

But I wanted to.

[Julia]

Saying it, right?

[Dana]

Yeah, but I wanted to go to Wrestlemania. I texted Declan McMahon to see if he was going, but he's not. But if he was going, I would have tried to.

[Katie]

Wait. You just name drop. Shame Man's kid.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Brandon, you know.

[Big Cat]

Are you friends with him?

[Katie]

He's pretty. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He went to you?

[Dana]

Yeah, we played together.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that's pretty cool.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I got a younger brother in Vegas. He's. He's really plugged in if you need anything. I'll pass along his information.

[Dana]

Is he one of the boys?

[Big Cat]

No, it's his little younger. Younger brother.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, he's one of the boys.

[Dana]

Well, I know your older brother.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, you'll love this one.

[Dana]

Will he come out with the like.

[Big Cat]

Well, yeah. Yeah.

[Dana]

Oh, let's go.

[Big Cat]

Howie junior.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, he's a sad dude. He's my quarterback in high school. He's holy. Played lacrosse at uva. He's like. He's one of the boys.

[Dana]

Oh, let's go.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Dana]

He understands.

[Kyle Long]

Howie junior Young.

[Brandon]

Your youngest gut.

[Katic]

Let's go.

[Brandon]

Your dad's name?

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, I got. The middle name is Howard. Chris is Howard as well.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle Long]

Don't ask, but that's how you both

[Katic]

have the same middle name.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Katic]

That's sick.

[Kyle Long]

I guess.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But then the youngest has the full name.

[Katie]

You got the actual name?

[Katic]

Yep. Yeah, that's also.

[Katie]

You think he was waiting for a junior and he looked at you and your brother and was like, idiots.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

I came out. I was slow blinking. He was like,

[Big Cat]

next.

[Brandon]

Yeah, let's give him the middle name. Slow blinking's good.

[Kyle Long]

I had a coach who called me a slow blinker. I didn't like that.

[Dana]

I got called a lemming a lot.

[Big Cat]

Lemming?

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

You follow your buddies to your demise. Yep.

[Julia]

We were asking him, did a coach ever say anything that, like, really hurt your feelings? Did you ever get anything that, like, sticks out in your mind?

[Katie]

You're like, oh, you're only with Sick for one year, right?

[Dana]

Yeah, but I was with Bod for two and then Coach Hiller for four. I was. I was Bott's guy, though. Like, he never really ripped me. He would always say. He would always talk about the beach head. Like, oh, yeah. It's like, you gotta.

[Big Cat]

We're.

[Dana]

We're gonna attack the beachhead here.

[Kyle Long]

Like.

[Dana]

We are the beachhead, like Normandy.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, we gotta take those guns out now.

[Dana]

He said he one of the freshmen. He was like, do you know any. Anything about war? He's like, do you know what I mean? When we have to attack the beachhead, the kid's like. So we made him do a whole book report and present it to the class about Normandy.

[Katie]

Oh, wow.

[Dana]

Storming the beaches in Normandy. And he was like, his pants. And this guy's like a super, like, intense. My online coach.

[Julia]

Yeah.

[Dana]

But he kind of hit it, so. But I don't know.

[Kyle Long]

There.

[Big Cat]

There's.

[Dana]

There's so many. Every old line coach, like, has like eight or so phrases that he recycles. Just about random.

[Kyle Long]

Quit throwing your purse at him.

[Dana]

Yeah, everything. We were called, like, the. Something about the. You got the whole Chinese army coming at you. Something like when they're bringing, like, seven more guys.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Dana]

He is like a old school. Yeah. There's a. There's a bunch of. I don't even remember.

[Kyle Long]

I wonder when he was born.

[Julia]

Yeah, I can guess. I can guess his age.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I don't know.

[Dana]

He's just a Wisconsin fool.

[Kyle Long]

There's the online coach for the Browns for a while.

[Dana]

They said, hut.

[Kyle Long]

He said. You think they. They were stretching with bands when they stormed the beach?

[Brandon]

It's always Norman, dude.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Pretty awesome.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Scary.

[Dana]

Yeah, very much so.

[Big Cat]

What's up, Brandon?

[Dana]

What's up, Brandon?

[Big Cat]

What's going on in your head?

[Katie]

What's up, guys.

[Dana]

No WrestleMania?

[Katie]

No. No WrestleMania this year. Staying home. I got the big wiener dog race next week. And of course I had the masters

[Brandon]

this week, so you're the grand marshal of that, right?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What is that?

[Katie]

April 24th or 25th? Whatever the Saturday.

[Kyle Long]

Those dogs are savages. Dogs.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Long]

These winter dogs, they were bred for battle. I hate to bring battle back in.

[Katic]

They were.

[Kyle Long]

That's true. Are that shaped and that size to fit into places to go and attack, like.

[Katic]

Yeah, I just ralph dachshund.

[Katie]

I think I get an attack by a dachshund.

[Kyle Long]

Like, I don't change my dwellers. They go in there.

[Big Cat]

Dachshund. They were not bred for.

[Katie]

What kind of war are you gonna win with a fucking dachshund?

[Big Cat]

I think they were bred in the

[Kyle Long]

trench war against a tiny army. Yes.

[Brandon]

Well, then that. We should win that war anyway. Yeah, we shouldn't need wiener dogs.

[Kyle Long]

Type in. Type in. Old school dachshund hunting. Pull it up, Jamie.

[Brandon]

What? Like Vietnam war?

[Big Cat]

There's no way they were bred for apartments. Studio apartments.

[Katie]

That's right.

[TJ]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

You know how there's like bird dogs and stuff?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

These are like rodent dogs.

[Katie]

They're bred to like, not have to go out.

[Kyle Long]

Old school docs and hunting involve using these tenacious, scent driven hounds to fight badgers and foxes.

[Brandon]

This.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's not war.

[Katie]

This is a war.

[Julia]

Wild boar.

[Kyle Long]

They're doing battle against Germany. Badgers.

[Katic]

Germany.

[Big Cat]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Julia]

Hold on.

[Katie]

Germany,

[Julia]

Germany.

[Big Cat]

That's basically a synonym.

[Julia]

It said Germany

[Kyle Long]

gangster.

[Big Cat]

That's a good. That's a good doctor.

[Katie]

You got us thinking they're going like on the front lines of an actual war.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, no, I'm talking about like badgers.

[Julia]

The wild boars are.

[Kyle Long]

No, Jim. Like burrow dwellers. Like little animals.

[Brandon]

Animals.

[Kyle Long]

Things you need off your property.

[Katic]

Yeah, you.

[Katie]

But you said war.

[Kyle Long]

Battle.

[Julia]

Potato, potato.

[Katic]

They said wild boar. You can get rid of wild boar with those things.

[Katie]

I. I think it just said that there's no way that's getting rid of a wild boar.

[Dana]

Wild boars are.

[Kyle Long]

If you got enough of those little wieners, they'll get them.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Katie]

How many would you need? 200 of them.

[Kyle Long]

Good men. I'm taking over the country with this.

[Big Cat]

Wiener dogs.

[Katie]

So, yeah, I'm going to that. The. The winter dog race.

[Kyle Long]

Are you going to fight. Is there a wiener dog fight? Badger?

[Katie]

I don't.

[Katic]

Wow.

[Katie]

I think they're all races. Hundreds of dogs.

[Julia]

And badgers are not a little bit.

[Katie]

Badgers kill snakes, Right?

[Katic]

That's What I got on the right?

[Brandon]

A Dapple.

[Katic]

I got a dapple.

[Kyle Long]

Cool dogs.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Dapple.

[Katic]

You tell me this. He'll up.

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Katic]

Let's go.

[Big Cat]

What's his name again?

[Katic]

Ralphie.

[Big Cat]

Ralphie.

[Katie]

Ralphie's not up.

[Katic]

Ralphie might up.

[Big Cat]

You're carrying Ralphie around in a bag?

[Brandon]

Yeah. He's not known to hunt game.

[Maserati Mike]

As large as wild boar and as fierce as wolverine.

[Big Cat]

Holy shit. I never. I'm putting more respect on dogs.

[Katie]

Wolverines minus 10,000.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, they're like the Darren Sproules of dogs.

[Brandon]

Brandon, are you. Can you give us a Zesty walkout when you do the.

[Katie]

No.

[Brandon]

At least one race?

[Katie]

No, because last time I did Zesty, I fell on the ice.

[Brandon]

There's gonna be no ice at the wiener dog race.

[Katie]

What if I fall on a wiener dog?

[Big Cat]

That would be hilarious.

[Katic]

That's my biggest fear.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Are you actually afraid of your dog?

[Katic]

Yeah. Or like, sitting on it by accident?

[Kyle Long]

Christopher Walter Chicken bone.

[Katie]

I might do Zesty. I might do a Zesty.

[Julia]

Wait, what are you doing at the wiener dog race?

[Katie]

I'm the grand marshal of the whole race.

[Julia]

What does that do? What do you do for that?

[Katie]

I don't know.

[Kyle Long]

Ladies and gentlemen, start your wiener.

[Big Cat]

What if they present you a dog to sit on?

[Katie]

I think I've sit on the dog however they want to do it.

[Big Cat]

Dana, I like that you're walking around in your own apartment in fear that you're gonna crush your dog.

[Katic]

Oh. Every time I sit or lay, at any point, he could be there. Now I can't jump on my bed anymore because.

[Katie]

How often were you jumping,

[Katic]

Like, hopping on, like, flopping on there?

[Katie]

How often would you do that?

[Katic]

I do that a lot. You don't overdo that when you just want to get into bed.

[Katie]

No, because I feel like I break the bed.

[Katic]

Yeah. Well, now I can't do it anymore.

[Kyle Long]

I love a good flop on a bed.

[Katic]

Sometimes he goes under the bed.

[Katie]

There's no. Kyle, there's no way you're flopping on

[Kyle Long]

a bed in a hotel. Yeah, but there's the door. And do it again.

[Katie]

Yeah, Double flop.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dana]

With that.

[Kyle Long]

One of those Weston beds. Yeah. Oh, come on. Just do a. Yeah. I don't stay.

[Big Cat]

Is your. Is your dog going under the covers?

[Katic]

He'll do so he'll go covers or he'll go under the actual bed. So now if I. If I want to break. Oh, that's what I'm worried.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

You can't jump on the bed.

[Katic]

Blah, blah, anymore.

[Kyle Long]

See the video of the lady walking down the street in New York who got hit by the chain link?

[Katie]

I did see that.

[Katic]

Real.

[Julia]

It's like a car. Is it real?

[Katie]

Nightmare.

[Julia]

Is it real?

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What?

[TJ]

It's very funny.

[Katic]

Really funny, but I don't know if it's real.

[Kyle Long]

The guy. The guy.

[Big Cat]

How do you get hit by a chain link?

[Katie]

Is this going to be funny? Like that time the McDonald's?

[Katic]

No, it's really funny.

[TJ]

It's really funny.

[Katic]

Very funny.

[Kyle Long]

All right.

[TJ]

It might be fake. It might be part of a movie, I think.

[Julia]

Wasn't she walking by a movie?

[Kyle Long]

A movie set.

[Maserati Mike]

Walking by movie set.

[Dana]

Kyle, what was the most amount of beers you and the OI had crushed?

[Katie]

Just been waiting to get that question.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, good question.

[Dana]

We could answer this after this.

[Kyle Long]

Oh, my God. Good. She's pinned under there like hand wrapped chicken breast.

[Katic]

Holy.

[Big Cat]

Play it again.

[TJ]

Yeah,

[Kyle Long]

She's dead.

[Big Cat]

She didn't even get her hand up.

[Brandon]

I love that. The guy right before was making sure it was secure and the second he walked away.

[Big Cat]

Dude, she didn't even get a hand up. She.

[Dana]

Did she survive?

[Katic]

Yeah, she was.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, she was fine.

[Kyle Long]

She got hurt.

[Big Cat]

I don't think you can die from a chain link.

[Dana]

I looked pretty.

[Brandon]

I hit her, right.

[Kyle Long]

I think it was more the cement she got planted onto. Yeah, she's all right. That's what always scares me. That was everywhere. Yeah, you're one fall away.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Julia]

It's the sound effects that are tough. It's like.

[TJ]

Yeah, it's tough.

[Kyle Long]

Like somebody hit driver.

[Katic]

Yeah, it's kind of sad that. I don't know if that's real or not, though.

[Kyle Long]

That's. It's actually a good point. But I think that was real.

[Brandon]

Dan, I love the idea of you having a rough day. Just going home and jumping on the bed.

[Katic]

Dude, every.

[Kyle Long]

It's the best.

[Brandon]

Just bouncing.

[Katic]

Oh, you mean up and down.

[Brandon]

That's what I pictured.

[Katic]

No, I was not doing that.

[Katie]

But even just jumping into the bed once is.

[Katic]

Dude, it's so nice. If you have like. Like if like your comforters and everything's all set up, you just jump on that thing.

[Brandon]

You get a running start.

[Katic]

No, just a hop.

[Kyle Long]

Remember the hotel rooms with the two twin beds? You jump between the best.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle Long]

When do we stop doing that? Like there was a time where I jumped from a twin bed to a twin bed. It was the last time. And that makes me a little.

[Brandon]

You didn't even know it was the last time.

[Katie]

No.

[Big Cat]

Well, you could still do it.

[Katic]

You can we'll try.

[Big Cat]

I mean, when you have twin beds at a hotel, one just becomes a shelf. Yeah, right.

[Brandon]

One's an eaten bed, one's a sleeping bed.

[Big Cat]

Just keep everything out on is nice.

[Katic]

If you want to switch, though.

[Kyle Long]

Do you do that?

[Katic]

Like if I. It's every now and then you. You know, you can only jerk off so much in one.

[Big Cat]

You've used that bed up.

[Katic]

You use it up, you toss the clothes back onto the bed.

[Big Cat]

You can't even look at that bed

[Katic]

anymore for like four days.

[Brandon]

How many?

[Big Cat]

How many days?

[Brandon]

What's your beat per bed?

[Katic]

I'm not beating that much, but it's like you lay in disgust for so long.

[Kyle Long]

I think it's days of beating as a number up. Yeah.

[Katic]

K knows what I'm talking about.

[Big Cat]

Day three.

[Dana]

I don't beat in the hotel beds. I beat the bathroom in the shower.

[Katie]

What?

[Katic]

Okay, that's fair.

[Julia]

You're not just on the sheets are.

[Katic]

No.

[TJ]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

It's not an animal.

[Kyle Long]

He's face down.

[Big Cat]

Got. He's got a mouth for a reason.

[TJ]

Yeah, but. Yeah, I don't know.

[Kyle Long]

But the.

[Big Cat]

The you.

[Katic]

If you're there for five days or whatever, then one of the.

[Big Cat]

Just beating onto his own stomach, then just rolling around.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you got the second one.

[Big Cat]

Now he cleans himself off. He just does a little barrel roll real quick. All right, I'm good. All right.

[Brandon]

I use that better little life hack from beers.

[TJ]

Then you put your cash tip on the cum stain so they know, like, hey, this is what this is for.

[Kyle Long]

That's why your bed was outside.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, true.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Just disposal.

[Brandon]

Just right off the balcony.

[Big Cat]

Are you gonna have a balcony bed again?

[Katic]

Yeah, we're doing it. We're bringing it back. I have a balcony.

[Kyle Long]

I was always really envious of that setup.

[Dana]

Well, you're always welcome. You're welcome to come.

[Kyle Long]

My wife was like, put that bed back in the house.

[Katie]

All right.

[Katic]

I did it when I lived in Mississippi. We had like a. A porch and I put it for one hour and it was like, there's bugs everywhere.

[Katie]

Yeah, down there. Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

But.

[Katic]

Yeah, that was. We're gonna do it in June. We already have it set up.

[Big Cat]

Wow. You guys got it planned.

[Kyle Long]

We gotta crush beers, pal.

[Dana]

You're welcome.

[Kyle Long]

In Chicago.

[Big Cat]

Is this a. Is this like, because your wife's out of town that weekend or something?

[Katic]

No, I think we just said we're gonna start doing it in June.

[Big Cat]

Oh, okay. It's all of June.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Wow.

[Kyle Long]

It's coming out all of June.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Katic]

I haven't read it by her yet, but, you know, it's.

[Kyle Long]

All right.

[Big Cat]

That's fine.

[Katie]

You're gonna want to go ahead and do that.

[Katic]

I'm sure she'll be okay.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

You have no kids, right?

[Katic]

No, just Ralphie.

[Big Cat]

He's got a dog. He's got a.

[Kyle Long]

Not crushed as well.

[Big Cat]

Every day his to do list is don't crush my dog.

[Katic]

Stressful, man. Those he gets in the little crevices.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that is stressful. All right, wait, so what. Does anyone have an official prediction of what is going to happen tonight with the bowling?

[Katie]

I think it's all nighter.

[Big Cat]

Where's.

[Brandon]

We say that every time.

[Katic]

There's going to have to be some.

[Katie]

Sometimes they do go all night bowling.

[Julia]

Twitter kind of picked it up and they're like, these guys are idiots if they think they can do it. Like bowling Twitter is kind of annoyed that you guys think you can even.

[Kyle Long]

Go figure. There's a group of people that are gatekeeping their little small thing.

[Maserati Mike]

It's a big night for Maserati Mike.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Maserati Mike]

Because he seems to be like the ringer here that, like, he's been telling

[Katie]

how many of those people are lying that they're good bowlers.

[Maserati Mike]

I don't even know if that was the question. I think was just, who wants to do this?

[Katie]

I thought the email came out and said, if you're a good bowler, please.

[Maserati Mike]

And I think they didn't get 12. So then they started reaching, oh, I say, do you want to participate?

[Big Cat]

I think. I think they're gonna get it done.

[TJ]

What is the stipulation that makes it possible?

[Big Cat]

It's scramble. So the first frame, all 12 ball, all they got to do is get one strike. Whoever gets the strike is out. Next frame 11, next survivor pool. So they're going to get to like. They're going to get to like eight or nine pretty routinely, I would think, just by sheer number. Like, you have six shots at a strike, someone's going to get it.

[Brandon]

I didn't know they need to have their worst bowlers hit the first strikes.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And then at the end, it's going to be so much pressure on the last, like three guys that. Yeah, that. Oh, man, I can't wait.

[Dana]

What's also gonna suck is if you don't get a strike, then you just have to throw another ball down. They are gonna reset it.

[Big Cat]

I do think it's a challenge that if they don't get it in the first, like three to four hours, then

[Dana]

they just get a mental because then,

[Big Cat]

then it's going to Be physically taxing. Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Kate. I was on Tick Tock last night, by the way. Tick Tock is awesome.

[TJ]

Okay.

[Kyle Long]

It's like. It's like 2026 YouTube for me. I mean, I just find out a lot of on there.

[Julia]

Okay.

[Kyle Long]

Last night I was on bowling. Tick Tock actually, coincidentally enough, ended up on this. You know, these young journalist guys that are awesome now on Tick. They're like doing deep dive research on. He's doing bowling alleys, right? He started a bowling alley. And he's talking about the cost of upkeep on the machines that pick and set the pins. And he brings you around back, opens up the machine. There's 30 lanes. Each machine is like 10,000 pieces. They were built in 1962. All the guys that grew up, guys and gals that grew up servicing and maintaining these things are all aged out. They're not working anymore. And those things are like seven grand a month to upkeep each one of those.

[Julia]

Oh, each one. Fuck.

[Kyle Long]

So they're gonna move to. They're gonna put strings on top of the.

[Brandon]

Oh, like duck pin and pull it back up.

[Kyle Long]

But like, the purists don't like that.

[Julia]

Oh, no, they don't like that.

[Katic]

It could never.

[Julia]

They get crazy about that.

[Kyle Long]

It's like a whole thing. I wonder what those bowling people are thinking about that.

[Julia]

I don't know. Chicago has a lot of really cool old school alleys that I want to. Waveland looks awesome from the outside.

[Kyle Long]

They call them houses.

[Julia]

Oh, houses.

[Kyle Long]

I found that out.

[Big Cat]

Wavelength's awesome.

[Kyle Long]

So strange.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I used to work behind the lanes in high school. I had no idea what I was doing. I probably shouldn't have been back.

[Julia]

Scary.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Julia]

Seems like a lot like you get sucked in.

[Katic]

You ever catch a stray pin?

[Brandon]

No, I never did, but I don't think I was good at my job either. I was just kind of around this.

[Katie]

Before the zoo or after?

[Brandon]

Zoo was a volunteer job in like 8th, 9th grade.

[Kyle Long]

What were you doing at the zoo?

[Brandon]

I was a junior zookeeper. I was the insect guy.

[Kyle Long]

That's cool.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I would walk around with a millipede and say, do you want to touch it? Never say pet because it's not a pet. Rule number one of the keeper's code.

[Katic]

What does that mean?

[Kyle Long]

I love that.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Katic]

That doesn't make any sense.

[Kyle Long]

I'm gonna use that with my kids. Do you want to touch it?

[Brandon]

Yeah, touch it.

[Kyle Long]

This isn't a dog.

[Katic]

You're saying you have to be a pet to get pet?

[Brandon]

Is that what you're saying it implied that this wild animal was a pet. If you say you want to pet it.

[Big Cat]

We don't want to do that.

[Brandon]

You would never make it as a junior zookeeper at the Ogle Be Good Zoo.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Katic]

So you're saying you can't pet my head because I'm not a pet?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Dana, why are you so offended?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, no, that actually is. No one would say, pet my head.

[Katic]

Yes, I would say, can I pet your head?

[Big Cat]

No, you say, can I touch your head?

[Katic]

I mean, maybe.

[Big Cat]

No, definitely. That would be weird if someone walked up to you and said, can I pet your. Can I pet your head?

[TJ]

Yeah, that sounds.

[Brandon]

I wouldn't go up to some. I wouldn't even say, can I touch your head to somebody, though.

[Katic]

All right, It.

[Kyle Long]

You know what? I thought it was gonna get a lot better by now. Remember laser tag?

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Remember the first time you played laser tag and you're like, this is the future?

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Put on the big vest.

[Kyle Long]

What happened?

[Katie]

It just. It stalled out.

[Kyle Long]

Lies.

[Julia]

Are kids still doing that? I know there's a place here that is hot for birthday.

[Brandon]

That's where white talks.

[Katie]

They still do it. And the kids will go in and play it once, and then that'll be. That'll be it.

[Brandon]

Video games got better than laser tag tag.

[Dana]

Are arcades even a big thing?

[Katie]

No, they are, but they're. They're different now. They're all ticket based machines and they're

[Kyle Long]

like antique, like showrooms.

[Dana]

Yeah, because I remember that's where all the laser tag was like, inside the.

[Big Cat]

It just never got better. Paintball's better. I went to Airsoft's better.

[Katie]

Laser tag peaked early.

[Katic]

Yeah, I went to Chuck E. Cheese with my wife's goddaughter. Kind of sucked. It's.

[Big Cat]

It's depressing.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It's not as. I think that's like a. But now that you're older, it's like, this is it.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah. Dave and Busters is where you go.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Well, are ball pits extinct?

[Big Cat]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Katie]

They're trampoline parks a lot.

[Big Cat]

No, these. These new places are insane. Like, there's climb zones.

[Julia]

What is that?

[Kyle Long]

The Indiana locker room?

[Julia]

Oh, yeah, the ball pit.

[Big Cat]

Climb zones, the trampoline parks. All these places are insane now.

[Maserati Mike]

Slide zones, right?

[Big Cat]

Yes, slide zones. They have everything. Everything.

[Kyle Long]

I did a gymnastics birthday a couple weeks ago. Those things are not rated for me.

[Big Cat]

No, you do.

[Julia]

For a gymnastics birthday, you're just, like, in there.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, it's like, free. It's like open gym oh, ribbon dancing, trampoline. A lot of handstands.

[Julia]

Okay.

[Dana]

I used to love that.

[Katie]

You're staying on the balance beam.

[Kyle Long]

Right.

[Dana]

So love it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Katie]

This.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, they have these in Chicago.

[Kyle Long]

My shoulder just came out watching this.

[Julia]

Oh, yeah.

[Maserati Mike]

I worked at a bouncy house place. This makes that look super, man.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. No, these places are insane now. And there's like, arcades and. Wow. Sick.

[Katie]

We do a yak from a slide. Please.

[Brandon]

Wouldn't mind it.

[Big Cat]

He.

[Ad Host]

He's.

[Julia]

Yeah, one just opened up.

[Katic]

Doesn't really seem like he's getting much momentum.

[Katie]

I gotta say, the slides aren't. Looks fast.

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I think it's really for kids. Little kids.

[Brandon]

The slide park.

[Katie]

Yeah. I don't. I. This genre of going pretty slow.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Because it's. It's. He's too heavy.

[Brandon]

Look at that, though.

[Kyle Long]

The colors in there. It's good.

[Julia]

Yeah. That's fun.

[Brandon]

Brandon go on every slide without cracking a smile?

[Katie]

I think so.

[Brandon]

Doubt it.

[Katie]

It didn't look smile worthy. And he was overreacting. He was over smiling.

[Brandon]

Slick city.

[Kyle Long]

He's a content creator.

[Katie]

Yeah, but that's the. You still got really young kids. The. The older your kids get and they get more into watching the YouTubes and everything, you'll have these.

[Kyle Long]

City.

[Katie]

They'll have these content creators that overlap and over smile and over everything. And it just gets on your nerves.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, I don't like it. I don't trust them.

[Maserati Mike]

There is a Chicago area bowling alley restoration creator. This guy, he's got like two. I think one is in, like, Cicero.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Maserati Mike]

Bowling alley. Like, documents the process of like, restoring old bowling alley.

[Julia]

I love bowling alley carpets.

[Kyle Long]

Hey, I think this is the guy I watched last night.

[Maserati Mike]

It's an interesting. And a million followers shout out.

[Big Cat]

Boy.

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah, that video. That guy that bowled a 300 then

[Brandon]

died, like, immediately after.

[Maserati Mike]

Yeah. Like the same day or.

[Dana]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle Long]

So I never had maybe moments.

[Brandon]

Was he sick or was it just a freak?

[Maserati Mike]

I think that he, like, fell ill like, AF immediately after or like during the game.

[Julia]

This is the guy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Well, not getting his 300 was the only thing keeping him alive.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, he had.

[Brandon]

He, like, he's done.

[Katic]

What do you mean he fell ill?

[Maserati Mike]

Like, he was like. Looks like he's reportedly getting sick during the game.

[Kyle Long]

It was kind of like in Star wars when Obi Wan Kenobi saw Luke Skywalker and his sister meet in person. Then he was like,

[Brandon]

Perfect.

[Kyle Long]

That's what it reminded me of.

[Brandon]

No, I'm agreeing with you.

[Dana]

What's his name?

[Maserati Mike]

Doug.

[TJ]

Thornberg, the chief's perfect game passes away.

[Kyle Long]

I don't know why I went there, but.

[Brandon]

So there's a chance he died on the best day of his life.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That's pretty good.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Kyle Long]

Where did he. In the car in his bed at the bowling hour.

[Katie]

The keywords.

[TJ]

That's not the time to die, in my opinion.

[Brandon]

You want to die on the worst day. Yeah.

[TJ]

You want to die, like, when you're really itchy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I've got, like, a bad.

[Katic]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Dying. Oh, that'll be great.

[Katie]

Kill me.

[Brandon]

The only cure.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're like, a case of, like, really bad sneezes.

[Kyle Long]

Swimmers. Ear.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah. Ear infection.

[TJ]

Earache.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Toothache. Oh, man, that would be incredible to die with a tube.

[Brandon]

So, like, you wouldn't want to die after, like, the best moment of your life?

[TJ]

No, that's when you want to. That's, like, the one time where you can enjoy life.

[Katie]

Right.

[Brandon]

Like, if a black dude complimented your shoes at a wrestling singlet factory, and then you just fell dead.

[TJ]

No. Yeah. I would want three days to live like that and then just get covered in poison suit and.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man. All right, well, Kyle, thanks for coming by. We want to spin the wheel. It's great to have you here. Always, kid. Good job.

[Dana]

Thanks, my guy.

[Kyle Long]

Thanks for supporting.

[Dana]

Yeah, dude, I gotta get your number so I can send you.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Line clips and.

[Kyle Long]

Yeah, we'll do that.

[Katic]

Hey, should add them to the old city dick pics.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Maserati Mike]

Too.

[Katic]

Add them to the O line group.

[Dana]

Oh, my God, they would love it.

[Katic]

A lot of bubble gum in there.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dana]

A lot of dicks in there.

[Kyle Long]

I'll send some anonymous pics. Yeah. And they'll be like, who is this guy?

[Brandon]

Or what if they just know it's yours?

[Kyle Long]

Like, I remember that dick.

[Katic]

I remember that side, Kyle.

[TJ]

Hi, Kyle.

[Brandon]

Oh, hi.

[Big Cat]

All right, let's spin the wheel. Let's not get something bad. Reverse wet. Reverse wet. That would be such a disaster.

[Katie]

There we go.

[Big Cat]

Oh, are you.

[Katie]

Are you taking chance?

[Kyle Long]

Taking it off?

[Katie]

Yeah, taking it off.

[Brandon]

Brandon, we didn't even get one.

[Big Cat]

We got to keep it all. We didn't get one.

[Katie]

Y' all want it?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, we got to.

[Brandon]

Let's reverse.

[Katic]

What?

[Big Cat]

All right, everyone except one person.

[Katie]

If we get four hands in the air. Reverse what? Wet stays. I don't know why I said 4. Might be more. 1.

[Julia]

Reverse wet stays.

[Katie]

Yeah. 2, 3.

[Julia]

Just for the plot.

[Maserati Mike]

I don't care.

[Julia]

It doesn't matter.

[Katie]

You said he's fine. That's fine. It's fine. All right, good Let it stay.

[Kyle Long]

Let's stay that.

[Big Cat]

I didn't vote for it.

[Katie]

Let it stay. It is a little bit of a rush.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Beyond belief, but.

[Brandon]

But if you're the driest.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. All of us.

[Katie]

Didn't we used to do it like that?

[Brandon]

I remember Z being the first one. Z was the dry.

[Maserati Mike]

That was before it was even on the wheel.

[Katie]

I felt.

[Maserati Mike]

Think we just did it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. All right, Kyle, you're the band. Thanks, everyone, for watching.

[Katie]

See you later, guys.

[Maserati Mike]

Watch After Dark tonight, All right? Love you guys. See you tomorrow.