Nick Had To Sign an NDA For A Pinball Factory | The Yak 2-12-26

Summary

The Yak — "Nick Had To Sign an NDA For A Pinball Factory"

Podcast: The Yak
Host(s): Barstool Sports (Big Cat, Brandon Walker, KBNoSwag/Kyle, Kate, Francis, Ed, Danny, Che, Dante)
Date: February 12, 2026
Episode Theme: The crew dives into Valentine's Day dilemmas, grocery store nostalgia, pinball factory secrets (and NDAs), creative process struggles, friendly Barstool feuds, body goals, night terrors, bathroom confessions, and lots of classic Yak humor.

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Episode Overview

This episode is a quintessential roundtable of The Yak, filled with meandering but hilarious conversations. It jumps from anxiety about Valentine's Day and relationship pressures to workplace camaraderie, stories from the early Barstool days, the surprising intensity of pinball culture, and musings on physical feats. The group’s signature irreverence and rapid-fire banter create a dynamic, free-association romp through topics unique to their world.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Valentine's Day Pressures & Traditions (03:06–09:11)

• The crew discusses Valentine’s plans, romantic gestures, and how relationship expectations shift over time.
• Big Cat confides, "Every Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, everything is amped up this year because it's also the 20th year. So I got a lot of pressure on me." (05:00)
• The group jokes about traditional and modern anniversary gifts and debates which are actually meaningful or just “cringe.”

Memorable moment:
Kate: "I think, like, flowers... just randomly, being like, I appreciate you. I actually think that's romantic." (09:16)

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2. Grocery Stores: Love, Labor, and Nostalgia (10:24–15:41)

• Fond memories surface of working at grocery stores (bagging, fruit department), favorite aisles, and the special vibe of a well-run supermarket.
• Kyle: "I think [grocery stores are] up there with, like, a nice bar for, like, environment." (11:51)
• The most and least desirable supermarket jobs (verdict: bakery and flower shop are happy; dairy and stocking are rough).

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3. Mississippi Scandals & Brett Favre (15:57–16:45)

• Chat about infamous local schemes, with Brett Favre and Ted DiBiase Jr.'s welfare scandal coming up.
• Big Cat: "I think [Brett Favre’s] defense was basically, 'Yeah, I didn't know where that money was coming from.'" (15:49)

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4. Work Friendships & Social Awkwardness (19:35–21:14)

• Playful questioning of who truly hangs out together outside of work, with Francis and Big Cat debating whether their relationship is “real” or purely professional.
• Francis: “I will cross the desert for you. I try to be part of your life.” (20:01)

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5. Writing Dave Portnoy’s Book: The Untold Struggles (21:31–29:23)

• Francis candidly shares the ups and downs of ghostwriting Dave Portnoy's memoir, and the communication breakdowns that led to his version being shelved.
• Francis: “At the beginning… I asked Dave, do you want me writing this in the language in which you blog? And he said, no, people would get tired of reading that… So I tried to find this sort of hybrid.” (21:46)
• Insights into writing for someone else's voice, the painful editing process, and his takeaways from the experience.
  • Positive takeaway: “I’d never known if I could write a whole book. I did. That was cool.” (24:41)

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6. Pinball Factory Tour & Secret NDA (18:18, 34:18–38:05)

• Brandon Walker describes touring a secretive pinball factory and the unexpected demand to sign a non-disclosure agreement at the door.
  • Brandon: “I was hoping to have some anecdotes and stories, but I signed an NDA.” (34:18)
  • Explains the world of modern pinball: high-tech machines, story modes, QR code progression, and a passionate subculture.
• The group quizzes Brandon on pinball (“Are you allowed to tilt?”), and learns about professional pinball etiquette:
  • Brandon: “If you’re not tilting, you’re not trying is what they tell me.” (37:15)

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7. Barstool Ventures, Candles, and Side Hustles (41:16–42:31)

• Quick banter about hypothetical Barstool business ventures: custom bowls restaurant, fertilizer (jokingly), candle-making (courtesy of Big Cat’s cousin).

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8. Health Stuff: Colonoscopies, Clean Living, and Fitness Feats (43:35–59:40)

• Real talk about colonoscopies, group encouraging preventive care, and jokes about the “after-effects.”
• Francis introduces the burpee EMOM (every minute on the minute) challenge and the philosophy of doing hard things for self-improvement.
  • Francis: "It's really hard... If you do five, you're in good shape. Seven—really good. Ten or more—you're like elite." (58:16)
  • Kyle reflects on abandoning “life hacks” like cold showers: “I think there’s a lot of hackiness to that lifestyle.” (59:20)
  • Tangents about body goals—favorite athlete bodies (Adrian Peterson, Saquon Barkley, Brad Pitt in Fight Club), and the cult of lifting.

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9. Creative Success, Social Media, and Algorithms (50:01–53:39)

• Discussion about the disconnect between content creators’ feelings of quality and what the internet rewards.
  • Francis: “Sometimes [the algorithms] are bullshit anyway.” (50:32)
  • The group muses on the randomness of viral hits and the existential dread of online performance.

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10. Night Terrors, Sleep Paralysis, and the Horror of the Mind (63:42–67:19)

• Several crew members recount hair-raising experiences with night terrors and sleep paralysis.
  • Brandon: “A figure… it’s like a silhouette shape.” (64:07)
  • Kate: “I had a few bouts of sleep paralysis and I was convinced it was like death was coming... I decided to join the military.” (66:32)

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11. Barstool Lore, History, & Feuds (68:07–92:22)

• Nostalgic (and sometimes tension-filled) stories from Barstool’s early days, especially the Chicago expansion.
  • Dante drops in with “charity case” jokes (directed at Big Cat), leading to awkward, classic Barstool banter.
  • Dante: “How do you not talk to people from the, like, early early days?” (85:39)
• Arguments about writing the definitive Barstool story—whose version counts, and would an “unauthorized” audiobook be better?

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12. Random Classic Yak Riffs (Animals, Gymnastics, Bathroom Confessions, Global Idiosyncrasies)

• Travel and animal trivia:
  • Francis: "Do you know that in New Zealand there is not a single snake or spider in the entire country?" (74:24)
• Gymnastics admiration:
  • Kyle: "Smaller dudes can do way more pull ups." (96:46)
• Barstool bathroom drama:
  • Over-the-top stories of office bathroom disasters and “the loudest wiper.”
  • Brandon: “Kyle’s the loudest wiper I’ve ever heard in my life.” (107:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Valentine’s Day Pressure:

  • Big Cat, "I've got a lot of pressure on me… 20th year anniversary. I think every Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, everything is amped up this year." (05:00)

• On Pinball Secrecy:

  • Brandon Walker, "I toured a pinball facility yesterday… I signed an NDA. I was hoping to have some anecdotes and stories, but I signed an NDA." (34:18)

• On Book Writing Disasters:

  • Francis, “There was this lost communication… We got all the way to the end without either side realizing that there wasn’t much oversight.” (23:15–24:34)

• On Grocery Store Vibes:

  • Kyle, "I think [grocery stores are] up there with, like, a nice bar for, like, environment." (11:51)

• On Health and Fitness Trends:

  • Kyle, "Lifting weights is a men's beauty routine. Is a mundane health routine. It should be treated as such." (60:45)

• On Night Terrors:

  • Brandon Walker, “A figure... it’s like a silhouette shape.” (64:07)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Valentine's Day Talk: 03:06–09:11
• Grocery Store Stories: 10:24–15:41
• Mississippi Scandals & Barstool Lore: 15:57–16:45, 68:07–92:22
• Pinball Factory & NDA: 34:18–38:05
• Francis on Book Writing: 21:31–29:23
• Burpee Challenge & Fitness Philosophy: 57:52-60:45
• Night Terrors Discussion: 63:42–67:19
• Body Goals Debate: 98:07–101:14

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Final Takeaway

This Yak episode is classic: rambling but never off the rails, with a blend of workplace comedy, introspection, inside Barstool references, and the kind of friend-group banter that has made the show a Barstool mainstay. Whether you love odd trivia (pinball tech, New Zealand’s lack of spiders), relate to self-improvement fads, or want inside stories from Barstool’s quirky history, there are plenty of laughs and more than a few “wait, what?” moments.

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For the full experience and more inside jokes, catch the unabridged episode on your favorite podcast platform!

Transcript

[Brandon Walker]

Hey, yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back. With lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops timeouts, overtime and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.

[Big Cat]

Keep up. It's golf.

[Brandon Walker]

Tune in to every match only on espn. I'm the coolest one out of all of us.

[Francis]

Incredible.

[Big Cat]

All right, it's the Yak Stella Blue Coffee Cell Blue Coffee's new ready to drink cans are here. Crafted with 100% Colombian coffee. Each can is a good source of protein and comes in two smooth flavors. Espresso cafe mocha and espresso sweet cream. They're more than just great coffee. They're about giving back. The brand is named after Stella Big Cat's dog. To help more dogs. That's their mission, to help more dogs find their forever homes. Every purchase supports animal rescue organization. So when you drink Stella Blue, you're not just fueling your day, you're saving a dog's life. Try the new Cell Blue cans today. Taste the difference. Hey, everybody.

[Brandon Walker]

Hey, man.

[Francis]

Hey there.

[Brandon Walker]

How are we?

[Big Cat]

Good. How are you?

[Dante]

Good.

[Francis]

Good.

[Big Cat]

Eddie, you good?

[Ed]

Good.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. You good?

[Ed]

Good.

[Kate]

Pretty good.

[Big Cat]

Danny, you good?

[Danny]

I'm all right.

[Big Cat]

Jackie? Still here.

[Francis]

How's that going?

[Ed]

What you say you should be feeling good.

[Danny]

I'm feeling great.

[Francis]

You're right.

[Big Cat]

Tired.

[Francis]

You're right.

[Brandon Walker]

Have you guys had an argument yet?

[Francis]

No.

[Big Cat]

When do you think you'll have your first?

[Danny]

Probably like Valentine's Day.

[Ed]

I had him on the ropes Monday. They were close.

[Danny]

Well, this.

[Francis]

Really?

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Danny]

This guy was goating, man. Goading the whole time. You were like.

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[Francis]

You were.

[Danny]

It was a setup essentially, but no spoilers.

[Ed]

I did. Let me show you Chicago video with him and Jackie.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ed]

Valentine's Day date.

[Big Cat]

Yep.

[Ed]

Took him to the top floor of the Sears Tower.

[Francis]

Sure.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Ed]

At a heart shaped deep dish pizza.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Ed]

It's a nice day.

[Big Cat]

Wow, what a great date you gave.

[Kate]

It's a good date.

[Brandon Walker]

Did you guys kiss?

[Big Cat]

That's all three of us giving you an incredible trip. Well, yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

We with Lance as well?

[Danny]

Yep.

[Francis]

Four of us.

[Kate]

Lance was There, that's romantic.

[Ed]

It was.

[Big Cat]

Are you going to try to get away with that being your actual Valentine's date?

[Danny]

We went out the night after, but yeah, ideally that'd be great, but I. Then I would have to give credit to Eddie, which I'd rather not do.

[Big Cat]

Y' all all doing Valentine's dates?

[Kyle]

Yeah, I got a res. You got it worse than ever, boys.

[Big Cat]

What happens?

[Francis]

It's just.

[Kyle]

It's just worse. It's getting worse.

[Big Cat]

Ebbs and flows, huh? Yesterday I thought we were. We were through it.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ed]

I didn't think it was bad at all yesterday.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it was good yesterday. Today is.

[Brandon Walker]

When's your. When's your appointment?

[Kyle]

I got a schedule one. Yeah, you do. I'm convincing myself that it's just a separate issue that is so coincidentally happened right after my.

[Big Cat]

That would be the greatest coincidence in the history of coincidence.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Now you got to watch Magnolia.

[Kyle]

I got a fucking 2:30pm reservation. What did you wait too long at Restoration Hardware?

[Brandon Walker]

Wait, you had your birthday at Cal. At Ralph Lauren?

[Kyle]

And then I'm like doing retail swapping.

[Brandon Walker]

I thought, why choose?

[Kyle]

I waited too long.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, I'm doing a river cruise.

[Big Cat]

That was kind of. You sounded like an old black blues man when you said. Yeah, I waited too long.

[Brandon Walker]

I waited too long.

[Big Cat]

This new voice might give you some. Some different inton and give you some different skills.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I would like some positive feedback because it is annoying people. I've heard.

[Big Cat]

I think. Yeah, I think it's fine. That's my positive feedback. I think it's fine.

[Francis]

Thank you, Kate.

[Danny]

Does Pat have any. Anything lined up for Valentine's Day?

[Kate]

God, no. It's probably not on his radar. He probably has no.

[Danny]

Going to be a surprise.

[Francis]

That's what. Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ed]

See, I feel like the boys are. You guys are kind of off the hook for the old San Francisco last.

[Big Cat]

That. That. So generally when.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Are you crazy?

[Ed]

I was telling Dale it was a week ago.

[Big Cat]

When I take my wife to the super bowl, we always have one really, really big dinner at the super bowl. And that covers Valentine's Day.

[Brandon Walker]

Well, you've been together for a while.

[Big Cat]

I forgot to tell her that this year also. This is a big year. This is 20th. 20th year anniversary. I think every Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, everything is amped up this year because it's also the 20th year. So I got a lot of pressure on me.

[Ed]

Oh, yeah?

[Che]

What's the 20th year thing? Like wood paper that.

[Big Cat]

I don't know. Gold is 50. Right. And then I don't know what 20 is. I bet it's something head. Could be head.

[Brandon Walker]

That'd be cool.

[Kyle]

20 is. That's.

[Big Cat]

In my experience, anything after 12 did not involve head.

[Kyle]

So I haven't done anything for 20 years.

[Big Cat]

All right.

[Brandon Walker]

Really?

[Big Cat]

20 years? Platinum.

[Kate]

Oh, platinum.

[Big Cat]

China is traditional gift is China. And modern gift is platinum.

[Kyle]

Platinum sounds nice.

[Big Cat]

What all have I missed? 10 year. I didn't have any money. I definitely didn't watches. I didn't get her any tin and aluminum or diamond jewelry.

[Brandon Walker]

Well, that really amps up quick, doesn't it?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Go from wool, copper, bronze all of a sudden.

[Kate]

Tin, aluminum.

[Big Cat]

What kind of wool? Copper, I guess you get her sweater.

[Kyle]

Sweater.

[Ed]

I didn't know this was a thing.

[Big Cat]

Coral.

[Kate]

Really?

[Big Cat]

Eddie?

[Ed]

No.

[Danny]

Oh, no.

[Kate]

You're a classy guy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Ed]

But fruit there. Flowers. Goes after leather.

[Big Cat]

What's the going to do with platinum at 70 as 70th anniversary, leather's when.

[Kate]

You start getting weird with it.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah. Ninth anniversary, things are getting stale.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That could just be a nice harness.

[Kate]

A wallet, one of those that has like the big.

[Brandon Walker]

I went right to.

[Big Cat]

That's where you guys go with leather. Leather could be anything. Those paddles you can just wear leather.

[Kate]

No strap down, like a basement strap.

[Danny]

One of those collar.

[Big Cat]

They even make those out of leather. What kind of swing do you got?

[Kate]

Kind of prude. Are you?

[Brandon Walker]

Typically, it's easier cleanup.

[Big Cat]

Did y' all ever. Did y'. All. This is a. Oh, it's only a yak question. And it's not. It's not weird in the sense that we're on the yak, but y' all ever go that sex hotel?

[Kate]

No. Okay. I haven't gone yet.

[Big Cat]

We got.

[Francis]

Y' all gotta go.

[Kate]

You got me the T shirt.

[Brandon Walker]

I did get you a T shirt.

[Kate]

Got me a T shirt.

[Danny]

Oh, with the slide.

[Kate]

With the slide. I know we still haven't gone yet. I have a gift card for it.

[Ed]

Right?

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Make sure that thing doesn't expire.

[Ed]

You're going to a sex.

[Brandon Walker]

It might be long gone. You don't know about this, Ed?

[Big Cat]

Oh, the Sybaris.

[Kate]

It's a local.

[Ed]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

All right.

[Ed]

No, but someone I know is conceived there.

[Big Cat]

Who?

[Francis]

You said.

[Brandon Walker]

Who's the Siberus baby told this before.

[Ed]

I can't. I can't. I can't say it.

[Kate]

Are they a good swimmer?

[Danny]

That means we know them.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, apparently.

[Ed]

Yeah, it's a pretty good swimmer. Yeah.

[Francis]

I would say.

[Ed]

I would say accurate.

[Kate]

Yeah. Because it's pretty much just the pool.

[Danny]

They work here 20 years.

[Ed]

No, they don't live here. They don't work here.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, then, yeah, say their name.

[Kate]

There should be, like, a Silverus baby reunion every year in Chicago.

[Brandon Walker]

There's got to be.

[Kate]

Got to be a ton of.

[Brandon Walker]

I bet you can tell who. If they are.

[Kate]

Who's a Sivaris baby.

[Danny]

They're all pruned.

[Ed]

Yeah, you could definitely break. Kate went to the freaking.

[Francis]

The.

[Ed]

What's it called in Florida?

[Kate]

The blowjob party.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, Kate's no prude.

[Danny]

What'd you see her there?

[Ed]

Detailed it. That was like, her and Pat's first date.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Danny]

First year's blowjob parties.

[Kate]

Yep.

[Danny]

I don't think, like, last week could count for Valentine's. Unless you prefaced it before the dinner. Like, hey, this is gonna be our van.

[Big Cat]

I have before. I didn't. I did not preface.

[Brandon Walker]

Does that even work?

[Danny]

I really wish Eddie would have told.

[Francis]

Like, when you're married, how far in.

[Brandon Walker]

Advance can be like, this is Valentine's Day, by the way.

[Big Cat]

Well, I. I think a week. Stretching it a week would be. Or further than a week would be crazy. But that's a big. For a mother of four children to be able to go to New Orleans or Vegas or LA or San Francisco for a week. And then you say, yeah, this is going to be our Valentine's. That. That checks out. Yeah, that. That. That can. But I didn't preface it this year, so I did go ahead and make a reservation tomorrow night.

[Kate]

What's the most romantic thing you've ever. I can't picture you as like a putting rose petal pathway on the floor kind of guy.

[Danny]

Six piece.

[Big Cat]

You know, I've done stuff. I've done stuff like that.

[Danny]

Is that romantic or is that kind of. Is that just cringe played out?

[Kate]

It's cringe if you know he's only doing it because everybody else is doing it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kate]

It's hard to explain.

[Big Cat]

That is why he's doing.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

But if you think you just thought of it independently.

[Kate]

I think, like, flowers. When it's not Valentine's in the middle of the whatever month, just randomly being like, I appreciate you. I actually think that's romantic. I think that's nice.

[Brandon Walker]

But they're like an impulse purchase at Whole Foods. Like, the flowers are right there at the door. Is that still romantic? If they.

[Kate]

If he's like, I saw these and you know what I thought of you? The house is like, I thought you would like these.

[Brandon Walker]

Our house reeks, Jay.

[Big Cat]

Am I remembering this?

[Kate]

Sounds like cat turds. So I got.

[Big Cat]

Do you buy flowers every time you go to Whole Foods? Is that you?

[Che]

It's grocery store.

[Francis]

Every week. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Every time you go the grocery store, you buy with your wife flowers? Yep.

[Brandon Walker]

I have flowers at my house at all times.

[Ed]

Really?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ed]

Watering it down. Shay, Isn't that, like, now? They're not.

[Big Cat]

That's the point anymore.

[Che]

Well, usually it's, like, one of my responsibilities, like, to grocery shop. So I'll take the kids, and then I'll let the kids pick. Like, they alternate who gets to pick for mom and.

[Kate]

Yeah, that's cute. I like that.

[Che]

It's also, like, way cheaper than you think. It's like $10.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ed]

Flowers I bought for Jackie were, like, 30 bucks.

[Big Cat]

And that's how Che gets to eat that anytime.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Danny]

But then if you miss a week of flowers, it's like, whoa. Are we fighting?

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Francis]

True. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Jay, do you like being the grocery store goer? Because I love grocery store goer.

[Francis]

Great chore.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's a phenomenal chore.

[Che]

What's your favorite aisle?

[Big Cat]

I don't really. I don't know that I have a favorite cereal.

[Brandon Walker]

Everybody's favorite should be cereal.

[Big Cat]

I just. I just. You just veg out and you're just like. It's not a vacation, but it's like, this isn't normal life right now. I'm just at the grocery store. I can't explain what I feel, but it's just a great two hours to check out of the rest of the world.

[Kate]

Especially if your grocery store has a coffee shop, too. So you get a coffee when you go in. Mine's been kicking it up with the freebies lately.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate]

Every other aisle. Some kind of snack.

[Ed]

That's nice.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Che]

You guys listen to or, like, have headphones in when you're grocery shopping?

[Big Cat]

No, I don't. I can't.

[Francis]

I have done it.

[Che]

I don't regularly.

[Big Cat]

May I say something on a plane? Yes. If I'm at home working out or doing something. Yes. If I'm doing a task that involves walking around other people. I can't do headphones. I can't.

[Brandon Walker]

I feel too unaware.

[Big Cat]

I feel too unaware and too checked out of everything. I can't be in a mall. I can't be anywhere. I can't be. I just. I can't do headphones. It takes me so out of the moment. I don't. I envy people who can do you.

[Brandon Walker]

People driving. Wearing them scares me.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

You always see that.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

It should be illegal.

[Big Cat]

Is it it?

[Ed]

I think it is illegal. All the time.

[Brandon Walker]

Kyle, when you worked in the. The grocery industry for a long while.

[Dante]

Are you.

[Brandon Walker]

Do you like grocery stores?

[Kyle]

Love them.

[Brandon Walker]

Okay.

[Kyle]

I think they're up there with, like, a nice bar for, like, environment.

[Brandon Walker]

Okay.

[Ed]

What department?

[Kate]

Good.

[Kyle]

A shitty grocery store. No. Yeah, it's depressing, but a big nice one, Kyle. I find lost in there.

[Big Cat]

I find the back warehouse, back room, back offices of a grocery store to be the most depressing places on earth, though.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, the.

[Big Cat]

The offices you have to go into.

[Kyle]

Oh, the employees are.

[Big Cat]

They're miserable. Yeah. As soon as you.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, yeah. Ed, your mom how many years?

[Big Cat]

Oh, forgot about that.

[Ed]

She's 53 this year. 54.

[Francis]

Golly.

[Ed]

Whatever it was, she's still going. Yeah, I used to work there too.

[Big Cat]

What did.

[Ed]

What department were you in?

[Kyle]

I bagged the groceries and then I actually loaded the cars and got tips, so that was nice.

[Big Cat]

How long did you do that?

[Kyle]

Two years.

[Big Cat]

I did that.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Ed]

I was in the fruit department. It's actually cotton salad.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you were that. Okay, so. So that was. You would. You would. I assume they would bring it on the truck. They'd put it in a refrigerator, spot back, and then you would just trans.

[Ed]

Yeah, that was it.

[Big Cat]

You transport it up to the front.

[Ed]

And you just drag a cart and you just keep.

[Big Cat]

So that's. That's a good job in a grocery store because you're laser focused. You don't have to worry. You don't have to worry about anything else. You probably weren't wearing stuff that made it look like you worked there, right?

[Ed]

No, I still wear, like, the polo and stuff, but they say it's one of the better departments and it closes earlier, so. Yeah, that's a plus.

[Big Cat]

Oh, I bet those. What? What. What's the best job in a grocery store? In the worst, because the. The bakery people.

[Brandon Walker]

Vegetables, you get that mist every once in a while.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Cool. Yeah, vegetables is good. Bakery people are there, pissed. Butchers are happy.

[Big Cat]

I see. I would have flipped that. I would flip that.

[Kyle]

I just said that. I think the talk to them.

[Big Cat]

I think the meat cutters are not happy and the bakers are happy.

[Kate]

Maybe they're both always giving my kids cookies and, like, having fun with. Yeah, I don't know.

[Ed]

I think flower shop is happy, generally.

[Brandon Walker]

They'd have to be.

[Ed]

They have to be.

[Danny]

Yeah, but, like, the stock boys have the most freedom. They don't have to be dialed in, like, the same way.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, they're always rascals.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but that's just such a monotonous kind of soul sucking thing to do is.

[Kyle]

Oh, stocking is bad.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, Yeah.

[Che]

I feel like dairy is probably the worst.

[Kate]

It always smells a little in there.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Like when you open the thing in the back room of the dairy.

[Big Cat]

I've had multiple jobs around grocery stores. I. In 2004, I. I worked for a company that stocked the magazine shelves, and I would have to drive a truck around to every grocery store in the Golden Triangle area and stock their magazine shelves.

[Brandon Walker]

Get to read them.

[Big Cat]

That got old fast.

[Brandon Walker]

Were they the National Enquirer?

[Big Cat]

All of them. All of them.

[Brandon Walker]

I used to love that reading that while I was pooping.

[Big Cat]

Every magazine in the grocery store is stocked by the same company.

[Brandon Walker]

I had no idea.

[Kyle]

Why didn't you just start a business.

[Big Cat]

Of doing well, why don't you just.

[Kyle]

Create a product and start a business?

[Big Cat]

Guess I should have. I didn't think about that at the time. Time. Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

What was the big scandal out of Mississippi? They had their own version of Enron, didn't they? Didn't Mississippi have a huge.

[Kate]

Brett Favre?

[Francis]

No.

[Big Cat]

This thing back in the day.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

We had a big tobacco settlement. I think one of the big.

[Brandon Walker]

One of the guys had like, a fake company scam.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that. I don't know. That one's not. Not coming to my mind. Okay. But one of the biggest lawsuits that broke the tobacco industry was. Was in Mississippi. That's the only thing. And now we have Brett Favre and Ted Dibiase son scamming the welfare.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Which I think Brett Favre's probably free and clear of that now. I think he's good. But Dibiase's kid isn't.

[Brandon Walker]

Red Far has Parkinson's, right?

[Big Cat]

He does. He does have Parkinson's.

[Francis]

Damn.

[Ed]

DiBiase Jr. Was involved in that?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Oh, I think he's going down for it.

[Ed]

Really?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

How Brett Favre get out of it?

[Big Cat]

I don't know. I. I think.

[Brandon Walker]

Was this the same thing for the volleyball?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I think Farve. And I'm talking out of school here. I think his defense was basically. Yeah. I didn't know where that money was coming from. I just accepted a gift that I thought was. I believe that was. And I think he. He's. He's okay. But DiBiase was. DiBiase Jr. Was deeply involved, which is kind of on the nose. The Million dollar Man son.

[Kyle]

Deeply involved.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Is guilty.

[Che]

What will Brett Favre be best known for? Like a moment. Obviously, he's a quarterback, but, like.

[Big Cat]

Of winning the Super Bowl.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

It'd have to be super bowl, maybe.

[Che]

Dick pick Mississippi scandal.

[Big Cat]

I think. I think it's still winning the Super Bowl. I think it's. I don't think the welfare scandal hit him as hard as like the dick pick hit him harder than that. Yeah, I think the welfare scandal kind of bounced off of him a little bit. I think he'll.

[Ed]

There's something about Mary.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, yeah, that was big.

[Kate]

Tiger woods had some crazy stuff, but I always think of him with golf.

[Brandon Walker]

His is. His is closer, I think. Right?

[Big Cat]

What's going here?

[Brandon Walker]

Come here.

[Francis]

Hey.

[Kate]

Come sit down, Francis.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, we needed this bad.

[Kate]

Yeah, we were talking about.

[Big Cat]

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. We're all calm. Francis, good to see you talking about financial scandals.

[Kate]

I'll just fist bump you.

[Big Cat]

Hello, Francis.

[Kate]

Francis. What's your favorite part of a grocery store? Jump right back in.

[Ed]

Che must have had one.

[Big Cat]

What are you doing here?

[Francis]

You have a show shooting with Dana.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, nice.

[Danny]

We had.

[Big Cat]

We taking over the yoke station.

[Brandon Walker]

You know about the yug station?

[Francis]

What's that? Oh, wow.

[Big Cat]

Oh, wow. Well, you'll probably end up doing it today. That's Dana's beer drinking station that we. That he does his podcast from.

[Danny]

Also on audio.

[Francis]

Oh, cool. I like that.

[Big Cat]

You didn't think that was cool at.

[Francis]

All the way I didn't really see it, to be honest with you. It went away so quickly. So what's this?

[Brandon Walker]

To the left is the main thing.

[Big Cat]

So what happened was Dana said, big cat, can you get me a yug station? Dan spent $15,000.

[Brandon Walker]

You just can't say yug station. Like Francis will know exactly what that is.

[Big Cat]

Well, there.

[Brandon Walker]

It's a gas pump that puts out beer.

[Francis]

Oh, that's fun. That's a. That's useful.

[Big Cat]

What is this group moving for?

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, I'm probably doing St. Patrick's Day merch.

[Kyle]

What's like the trashiest thing that you love? Like party wise? Like beer bong.

[Francis]

Yeah, I mean, I like a beer bong. Yeah, back in the day, certainly. What. What other options are there?

[Kate]

Cheese whiz. You ever spray cheese can spray.

[Francis]

Oh, what would you say painting?

[Kyle]

I can't talk.

[Francis]

I know. I feel horrible. My spots. You okay? You're painful.

[Kyle]

Floor is yours.

[Francis]

No, I don't. I. I need you.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

You have no idea. Francis.

[Big Cat]

I'm.

[Francis]

Yeah. How are you guys? Nice to see you all.

[Kyle]

I'm gonna go get muddy in the. In the rain.

[Big Cat]

What's the last time you were muddy?

[Francis]

Well, it's been pretty muddy in New York.

[Big Cat]

No, that's not like. That's not the money. He's talking about.

[Kyle]

Dive in the mud on a rainy day in college.

[Big Cat]

Mmm. God damn it, that's fun. We didn't.

[Francis]

We were in a city again. Same kind of. We didn't really do that, too.

[Big Cat]

I love running and diving in the rain.

[Brandon Walker]

Really?

[Francis]

Still?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. My yard and Mississippi had a puddle that would always.

[Brandon Walker]

Just, like, permanent puddle.

[Big Cat]

It would stand water. Yeah. Right after a good rain, just run and you slide. You go for 30 yards.

[Brandon Walker]

That attract mosquitoes.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. It's a big mosquito place.

[Brandon Walker]

Dangerous.

[Big Cat]

You're right. But right after a rain, mosquitoes aren't. They're not. You just run and slide. We should run a slide together, Francis.

[Francis]

I'd like that. That'd be fun. I'll do anything with you, Brandon. I don't care.

[Big Cat]

We've never done anything at all.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

She go to.

[Francis]

We've done. We've done more than you're letting on, Francis. We've done more than you and I have.

[Big Cat]

Never, outside of the confines of barstool work, have you and I ever done anything.

[Francis]

We've hung out in the green room at a comedy club.

[Big Cat]

I came to your show.

[Francis]

There you go. That's the thing.

[Big Cat]

That's me coming to you. I came to your show.

[Francis]

I'll come anywhere you want.

[Big Cat]

And it was delightful. It was a wonderful show.

[Francis]

I will do. I will come. I will cross the desert for you. I try to be part of your life.

[Big Cat]

No, you don't.

[Francis]

Yeah, I see you're fronting right now.

[Big Cat]

You don't try to be part of my life.

[Francis]

I text you and you say, who is this? Every single time.

[Big Cat]

I don't put numbers in my phone.

[Francis]

Oh, okay.

[Brandon Walker]

Why do you do that?

[Big Cat]

I don't.

[Brandon Walker]

It only hurts you, and it only makes you seem like a bigger asshole.

[Big Cat]

I'm not a big asshole. I don't know. I. When's the last time you texted me?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

I bet it was six months. More than six months ago.

[Francis]

That's probably true.

[Big Cat]

You want to go fishing?

[Francis]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

That's your activity with sass, though.

[Francis]

No, no, he doesn't let me come with it.

[Big Cat]

All right, all right.

[Francis]

I went. Do you like to fly fish at all?

[Big Cat]

I'm more of a bass fisherman.

[Francis]

That's cool.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Big bass, ideally. Yeah. Yeah, those are the best. Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

You guys are really hitting it off.

[Big Cat]

We've never. We've never.

[Francis]

You got to find common ground.

[Big Cat]

We never quite got there.

[Brandon Walker]

Like, big, bad.

[Francis]

I've always Wanted to.

[Big Cat]

I want to as well, but. One of yours, but we haven't gotten there.

[Francis]

But I always. Then I always say that I'm a huge fan and you think I'm, like, lying or something.

[Big Cat]

I do, and I think you're lying.

[Francis]

I'm not. Why? What do you mean? No, I got nothing.

[Big Cat]

I came to your comedy show in Philly when I was there for WrestleMania, and I was like. I was blown away how fucking funny you are.

[Francis]

That's so nice.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I'm in Batavia all weekend, but nice. It's totally sold out.

[Big Cat]

Oh. Oh, that's totally.

[Francis]

Well, actually, 16 in a row. Whatever.

[Brandon Walker]

16 in a row.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Congrats, Francis.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah. Things are going great. Yeah. If you discount that.

[Brandon Walker]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Middle of a bond.

[Brandon Walker]

The almost published man. You didn't find. You didn't find out on the yak issue.

[Big Cat]

Can I ask you a question about that? You spent months writing it, right?

[Kyle]

Hundreds of hours.

[Big Cat]

Hundreds of hours.

[Kyle]

That's crazy.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Was there not a process where you're submitting stuff and then he's reading?

[Francis]

Everyone's wondering that. So here's what happened at the beginning of the book. I asked Dave, do you want me writing this in the language in which you blog? And he said, no, people would get tired of reading that. Over 300 pages. So then I tried to find this sort of, like, hybrid. People think it was like this stuffy, sophisticated, ridiculous, like, lyrical thing.

[Brandon Walker]

Well, did you hear the example? He said the one thing that turned him off was you said, like, something about a watermelon lyric.

[Francis]

Yeah. So the sentence there was like. It was. It was. I said this too, but it was, like, meant to. It was just imagery. They were eating at Budokan. It's a Chinese themed, like, loungey, clubby restaurant where they're out of place.

[Brandon Walker]

Yes.

[Francis]

To highlight that. I thought it'd be funny if this group of guys and, you know, courting Erica to take the job was like, they. And by the time the. Nobody was speaking to each other by the time the second round of lychee martinis came.

[Brandon Walker]

That's funny.

[Francis]

It's a joke.

[Danny]

Yes.

[Kyle]

I think a lot of people would love to read your version if you could. Would he entertain you putting it on a paywall or something?

[Francis]

I don't think so. I don't think so. But his is. I'm not kidding you. I've been impressed. Yeah. What he's doing is. Is good. It's great. And there are stories, as I've said that, that I've never heard before. And which might not have come to light had. Had it just been what I wrote.

[Brandon Walker]

But you're still assisting with this one.

[Francis]

I'm just kind of walking behind him. And do you know in Wally, when Wally gets onto the mothership, I haven't seen one and he's dirty and then there's that one robot that falls behind him. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm doing. Okay. It's a big job to finish your question, Brandon, though I think what happened is that initially the editor. I was sending the editor all the chapters in real time and then she was sort of like doing a quick once over and then she would provide feedback to both Dave and me in an email saying like, this looks great, this is good. Maybe a little bit more of this, but like overall great. We're in a great place. And I think he probably was therefore made to feel like everything was going really well and that he didn't necessarily need to take a bigger look. And I think that the editor assumed that he was probably more involved than he was. So there was this lost communication through which I was like this assumed solution when, I mean, that's. I think that's how we got all the way to the end without. Without either side really realizing that there wasn't much oversight.

[Brandon Walker]

Is there anything you could take out of this experience that you're like, I'm glad I. Is there anything positive from this experience?

[Francis]

Well, I mean, I'd never known if I could write a whole book. I did. That was cool. You were done like, yeah, second draft. Can I say something?

[Brandon Walker]

I'm sorry.

[Francis]

The people behind the book liked it so much that they told me if my stand up career ever ends, there's a job waiting for me. Wow.

[Kate]

Hell yeah.

[Kyle]

So that's something.

[Francis]

Well, it's a far cry from, I hated it. I couldn't make it through a single page.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, yeah, because that's what you.

[Danny]

Okay.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Your average that out is pretty good.

[Kyle]

Yeah, the average is pretty good. I bet you it's spectacular and people will read it.

[Brandon Walker]

Kyle, maybe you should start writing, bud.

[Francis]

I tried to push Kyle back into blogging. Not maybe like a year ago, maybe a little before that. And you said you were thinking about it, you thought it would be a good idea, but I get it, man. Thankless endeavor.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I mean, I do write so much. I just.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, you say what you write, I.

[Kyle]

Say what I write. It's more in and it's easier and harder.

[Francis]

Right.

[Kyle]

To write for the spoken word.

[Big Cat]

I think we'd all like to like to write more. Right.

[Brandon Walker]

Takes a lot of time.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

You said you always say you're going to get back into it. You just want to make lists.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Yeah. I, I, I, I miss, I miss writing people. I was a speechwriter before I came here.

[Francis]

Get out or Coca Cola for a.

[Big Cat]

Fortune 500 company in Atlanta. I was cool. I was. Which, which makes me sympathize with you because writing, even attempting to write in somebody else's voice is demanding.

[Francis]

And then I just didn't think that that was really necessary. I didn't really know that. Like, I, I don't know. I didn't. I thought that wasn't exactly. There's a big difference between, like, language, voice, and tone. And I think that all that got mixed up.

[Big Cat]

How about the money?

[Francis]

Oh, I didn't, I didn't. There's no money.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Brandon Walker]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

That's kind of stinks.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Well, I mean, I didn't, I didn't want, I didn't want it. To do it in good faith, you know.

[Big Cat]

Guess you're gonna have to win the golf tournament.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Kate]

For the process of writing it. Were you, did you spend a ton of time with Dave leading up to it or something, or how long?

[Francis]

I met with him on Zoom, like, every week and a half, every two weeks.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Kyle]

You put in.

[Kate]

So you feel closer to Dave, you guys.

[Francis]

Well, I, I don't know. I don't know how he feels about me, but I did, I did. I thought it was a really cool, like, privileged position.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Francis]

In his world.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And, you know, to get to hear, I got to interview Renee and some, you know, people that I'd never met or spoken to. And so you hear from, you know, total. What was cool was like, for me, the coolest stuff was from, like, 2003 to 2010, you know, that whole world from when he was like, our age.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And just grinding his ass off. Like, do you know that I didn't know this, but, like, you know, everyone knows that he, the, the homeless people handed out the newspapers and just were terrible. And then he hired the models, and it was through them that he met Renee. And then he couldn't afford the models anymore. And so then for, like, years, he was the only person handing out the newspaper in the subways.

[Kate]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Kyle]

Literally.

[Kate]

No.

[Francis]

So a company of one.

[Kyle]

I didn't know that.

[Francis]

Just fucking.

[Kyle]

Yeah. That era. I would love to know more about running around, like.

[Francis]

Yeah, well, no, I mean, well, imagine.

[Kyle]

Running an ultramarathon on your own, not in a Competitive event. You would still feel very accomplished afterwards.

[Francis]

Is this, right. The book you're talking about?

[Kyle]

I'm trying to do a metaphor.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. I had. Look. I had. Look, here's the thing. There were. There was a scene where his car got impounded. His Astro van, and he had to go down to the impound lotion. That was everything he told me. Then I wrote a scene where it's him talking to the guy at the impound lot. Yeah. But he's like, well, that never happened. It didn't happen that way. And I'm like, well, I understand.

[Brandon Walker]

But like, he gave you two sentences.

[Francis]

There's dialogue. I have dialogue. I've imagined an exchange that isn't like, what's your astronomical sign? Or whatever the fuck had filler for effect. Yeah. Just to be a little colorful, like, to, you know, to lend itself.

[Kyle]

Could you do a movie?

[Francis]

Probably.

[Kyle]

What if on Son of a Boy, dad, or in your own separate series, like, did kind of like a. An audio read?

[Francis]

I have no idea.

[Kyle]

An explanation.

[Francis]

I worry that that would. That would step on the book.

[Kyle]

Maybe after it comes out, or maybe.

[Francis]

You know, I'm not trying to, like, compete with what he's got. That's fair.

[Kate]

If you could write a book about anything you wanted to, what would you do now?

[Francis]

Yeah, that's a good question. I would do. I think I want to do. I would do a book about, like, the trials and tribulations of young men in the world today. And almost like a survival guide for just, like, dealing with divorce or depression or, you know, a lot of the stuff that people ask me for per. DM me about. And they're like, hey, man, I appreciate that you've been open about some of these things. Like, I'm going through a tough time.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Francis]

What do I do? And I always send pretty detailed things of like, you gotta get. You gotta get in the gym, you gotta get outside. You gotta pat a dog. You got to pick up a hobby. Just start taking back control of your life and defining yourself away from the incident or whatever or the person who left you or all these horrible things. And it'll take time, but soon you'll feel like you have control again. And I think expanding upon that as like, a lighthearted but also serious guide for young men who are struggling would be something that I would be.

[Brandon Walker]

I would.

[Kyle]

I would invest.

[Kate]

Yeah, I'd invest the duo. I'd like to see on that one. People like, I want to see Dave's version. I want to see Francis. I'd like to See your version of that and versus Dana's version of that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You got to go to the yug station. You got to drink a zillion beers.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You gotta.

[Big Cat]

Gotta try lobster for the first time.

[Kate]

You gotta try lobster.

[Francis]

That's crazy.

[Kate]

That's great. I hope you pursue it.

[Francis]

Somebody asked me, somebody in the New York office, and I'm embarrassed that I can't remember who it was, but said I should do the sort of counterpart to what Dana's doing. Because there are a lot of his, like, really shitty things in his life that I've never tried.

[Brandon Walker]

We had a sommelier on the show and he did.

[Francis]

He.

[Brandon Walker]

We brought up Swedish fish and he thought we met fish from Sweden.

[Kate]

Well, that's the Arctic.

[Francis]

That's just a strange, like, blind spot. Because that's not.

[Kyle]

That is.

[Francis]

That's not something he.

[Big Cat]

What you're talking about.

[Francis]

Yeah. I think I would have assumed that most of the things that Dana's trying for the first time are like, upscale things. Hoity toity, like lobster. Right. Which also is so weird because he grew up on those south shores.

[Brandon Walker]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

There were lobsters walking down the street.

[Francis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brandon Walker]

Mark has questioned.

[Dante]

That's fantasy.

[Brandon Walker]

Dana will get mad.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's really mad.

[Francis]

He died.

[Brandon Walker]

Never had a plum.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

So that's weird. I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Well, Mark's theory is that Dana's doing the thing like you. You get in front of a group of people and say, oh, I've never made out with a girl, and then a girl wants to make out with you or something like that. Dana's just saying, I've never done these awesome things. And now people are giving him these awesome things.

[Brandon Walker]

I've never had tomahawk steak.

[Francis]

It's so random then if that's what.

[Brandon Walker]

He'S doing, I think I believe him. I don't think it's in his bag to lie about this.

[Francis]

I mean, either I trust him.

[Brandon Walker]

I do, too.

[Ed]

I also think he's forgetful, though.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Ed]

There are probably things that he has tried in passing that he's just forgotten about.

[Kate]

I've been hammered.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, he's probably as much as he gets drunk and never having a Big.

[Big Cat]

Mac, I'll just say it. We do have somebody in the New York office who's like, standing up and saying, dana's tried all this stuff.

[Francis]

Oh, who?

[Big Cat]

Somebody that lived with him?

[Ed]

Yes, he's the one who told me.

[Big Cat]

I'm not going to say his name. No, no, I'm not going to say. I'll say his initials. They're Marty mushrooms.

[Kyle]

Oh, he.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Damn, That's. That's a tough.

[Kyle]

He told Dana we don't give a. Yeah, please don't act like you've tried.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, we were really nice. We're like, dude, we're not watching them anyway. We don't give a.

[Francis]

That'd be sad if that were the revelation. It's.

[Brandon Walker]

There's no way he's lying.

[Big Cat]

But again, I don't. I don't even care.

[Brandon Walker]

He's too pure.

[Francis]

Yeah, but, like, okay, I've never. I've legitimately never had Taco Bell. I've never had a bite of Taco Bell.

[Big Cat]

I got it, Francis. Let's go down south and have you try some. Down South. Fucking shit.

[Francis]

Oh, cool. That's fun.

[Big Cat]

Ever had chitlins?

[Francis]

No.

[Big Cat]

Good.

[Francis]

Are those pig feet?

[Big Cat]

No, intestines, buddy.

[Francis]

Oh.

[Big Cat]

Oh, you don't want to.

[Francis]

Well, no, I'll do.

[Big Cat]

I never have either.

[Brandon Walker]

Big fan.

[Big Cat]

You did say you do anything with me.

[Francis]

I'd do anything.

[Brandon Walker]

I toured a pinball facility yesterday. I was hoping to have some anecdotes and stories, but I signed an NDA.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. What are they hiding?

[Brandon Walker]

I wish I could tell you.

[Kate]

They invited you and then were like, don't be spider.

[Brandon Walker]

And Liam went up there and I can't say weird. I went up there because I'm trying to have more experiences.

[Kyle]

Can you tell us what was. What was in there?

[Brandon Walker]

I can't say.

[Big Cat]

What are they trying to hide?

[Brandon Walker]

I can't tell you, but I know.

[Kyle]

How exclusive is this?

[Francis]

Pretty? It's.

[Brandon Walker]

The forums have been. The pinball forums have been going crazy.

[Francis]

About this and I have a pinball question. I'm sorry. I mean, shouldn't have cut you off.

[Brandon Walker]

I wasn't saying anything.

[Big Cat]

What if you had refused the NDA? What if you said, no, I'm not signing that.

[Brandon Walker]

The NDA was at the door, but she wasn't.

[Ed]

The NDA only about the new machine.

[Danny]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Ed]

The other stuff.

[Brandon Walker]

No, because we went back and they like the wiring. Larry, they had the wire.

[Ed]

Because we, Me and Danny went there, what, three years ago.

[Brandon Walker]

They have a new facility.

[Ed]

Okay, so maybe the new one is.

[Kate]

It's a prevent factory or a museum.

[Brandon Walker]

It's a factory.

[Big Cat]

Stone Cold factory is where pinball started. What it is.

[Brandon Walker]

It is the Ferrari of pinball.

[Big Cat]

Wow.

[Francis]

Yeah. You got to be careful or you're going to have the National Basketball association after you.

[Brandon Walker]

I think. What?

[Francis]

The NDA.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, you're right. You're right. Is that what that is.

[Francis]

That's what that stands for. A lot of people. Not that non disclosure agreement. Wrong.

[Brandon Walker]

Basketball.

[Francis]

Basketball.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

I always forget that. The only thing we could photograph and put out, us in front of the big pinball in the front.

[Kate]

And that's it.

[Francis]

You like that one?

[Big Cat]

Brandon starting to side with Dave.

[Francis]

You wish. You wish.

[Kate]

So you guys did it just for. Not for content, but like just.

[Brandon Walker]

We didn't bring cameras up. I wanted to go see it because I'm trying to. I do this every day. And so it's like I've run out of things to talk about. About a year ago, you can pinpoint when it happened.

[Francis]

Can pinball it.

[Brandon Walker]

You can pinball it, buddy.

[Kate]

He's on fire. Shut the up.

[Francis]

I have no will to live.

[Ed]

Dude, let us film there. That's why I'm like, yeah, we did a whole block.

[Francis]

So there's.

[Brandon Walker]

There's a new. A new drop coming out next month.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Big Cat]

But you can't talk about that.

[Brandon Walker]

They dropped the teaser. But yeah.

[Francis]

I have a question about pinball.

[Brandon Walker]

By all means.

[Francis]

Is it not the case that just arbitrarily you will lose even the best players?

[Brandon Walker]

I think they've changed. The older machines are harder because it was more about getting quarters, but now it's about progress. There's story modes. So there's a QR code and so if you play on this machine, you scan the QR code and you see that machine elsewhere, you could pick up where you left off.

[Big Cat]

Oh, what?

[Francis]

Well, hold on.

[Brandon Walker]

The guy was standing behind us telling us everyone has like a. Like a mainline story. Some are non linear.

[Francis]

So to that end it. You're saying it is the case that like the ball will just hit at an angle and go between the bumpers in a way that nobody, even the best players could stop.

[Brandon Walker]

So that's when you tilt the machine.

[Francis]

These. Oh. What?

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah. If you're not tilting, you're not trying is what they tell me.

[Francis]

Come on, dude, that's.

[Ed]

Oh, man.

[Francis]

Tilting the machine every time.

[Brandon Walker]

Heavy machines, everybody, all the pros tilt. But there's that. There's a level on the inside, like the. The tube with the bubble. And if it goes too far, the machine.

[Kate]

That's why it says tilt on it.

[Francis]

Yeah. Oh, my God. I never knew that.

[Kate]

Nobody knew that either.

[Brandon Walker]

Nobody knew that it was a cool experience. Yes.

[Kate]

So you're allowed to tilt it a little bit legally, but not too much.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

And what is this?

[Big Cat]

Is.

[Brandon Walker]

This is what they dropped and then they invited us up. That's where we Went, oh, Pokemon, David.

[Francis]

I told you, David Stern is behind it.

[Brandon Walker]

It is Stern Pinball. Which makes.

[Big Cat]

You didn't go for pinball. You went because they're doing something with Pokemon.

[Dante]

But the.

[Brandon Walker]

I did the whole tour, and it made. I'm. I was all in on pinball. The way these guys talk about it when you're around somebody who's super passionate about something.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's Sexy.

[Brandon Walker]

They employ 500 people. It's the biggest facility.

[Kate]

Oh, shoot.

[Big Cat]

You sure are talking about this place a lot.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, I'm talking. Yeah, but I'm talking.

[Kyle]

How many pinball machines? Like, more than 10 in there.

[Danny]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, my God.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

On thousands.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, thousands.

[Ed]

Like, the craftsmanship on these things are incredible.

[Brandon Walker]

They have the licensing to some of the most insane properties as well.

[Ed]

Mm. They have Stranger Things Supreme.

[Brandon Walker]

They released a supreme machine for 50k.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Big Cat]

We have in our lobby what we have Star.

[Brandon Walker]

That's from them. We're renting it from them.

[Francis]

Everybody wants to license through pinball, though, right? Isn't that such a fun sort of Americana thing?

[Brandon Walker]

I think so. I think. I think it's up there. It should be in the Olympics.

[Big Cat]

They'll make us a yak pinball machine.

[Brandon Walker]

I don't know. It's. Man, I don't know if it's. I don't know if we can afford it.

[Big Cat]

Not our money. Dan's money.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Maybe this is shit. But the guy. The owner challenged Dave one on one, but the owner was going to play with one hand for a custom machine or something like that. But he was like, there's no chance. I lose, I believe.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

We've had that man in our office, right?

[Francis]

Yes.

[Brandon Walker]

Almost positive they were on the show. Yeah, they were. They popped in for a little bit.

[Francis]

Mr. Stern, do you like a Miss Peaches themed one? Bumpers could be painted as the hands of her former owner.

[Kyle]

Which would be what? You.

[Big Cat]

You're good.

[Francis]

I'm sorry, who? I don't know. I don't know. Who?

[Kyle]

Neither of us.

[Big Cat]

No, no, I know you're not good.

[Francis]

Okay. What happened?

[Big Cat]

You're good.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Just.

[Dante]

Really?

[Brandon Walker]

A barstool pinball machine would be cool.

[Kate]

Yeah.

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[Francis]

Mmm, tasty.

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[Kyle]

A bar stool, like higher end, fast, casual lunch spot where you can make custom bowls would be cool.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, that would stash you. I'm a sucker for making my own bowl, man. I wonder what our next ridiculous venture will be.

[Kate]

Watches. The coffee's doing well.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, we haven't.

[Big Cat]

We haven't done fertilizer yet. No, that's next.

[Brandon Walker]

What's going on with your venture?

[Big Cat]

I don't have a venture. You have a. Oh, the candles. Yes. I need to talk to Shady.

[Brandon Walker]

How much have you sunk any actual money in this?

[Big Cat]

Just. Just a little bit. But the. The initial price was he wanted about 30 or 40, so I think we got to get back into it because I can sell some candles. My cousin's a candle maker.

[Francis]

That's. That's.

[Brandon Walker]

But it doesn't seem like he is.

[Big Cat]

Shady like candles and. Well, he's not the most driven man in the world. And I think. I think my money is going to get him off his ass.

[Brandon Walker]

How many candles has he made in his life?

[Big Cat]

I'm gonna say 2,000, maybe 10,000.

[Francis]

You'd probably need to be more.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, his entire. His. His house is nothing but candle making stuff. And it smells like candles and that's nice. Yeah, it's nothing but candles. But we haven't gone all in yet. We got to get the candle making thing off the ground. He wants to buy it. Wants to buy a place that he can house so I can get it out of his house. I don't know.

[Francis]

Somehow it's. Somehow his house is like the most romantic place on earth.

[Big Cat]

Ah, yes.

[Francis]

And also the. The scariest.

[Kyle]

Yeah, A lot of flames and seance.

[Big Cat]

Timmy White's in the hospital.

[Brandon Walker]

Menorah.

[Big Cat]

Timmy White's in The hospital. Who's.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, the guy we called.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, the guy called.

[Kate]

Haunted house guy.

[Big Cat]

Grab me at the haunted house.

[Brandon Walker]

Is he all right?

[Big Cat]

He sees he's been. Got some gastric shit and he's. He's. It might have a GoFundMe soon. I don't know.

[Francis]

Sweet it out.

[Brandon Walker]

If it happens.

[Big Cat]

I gotta figure it out.

[Kyle]

Share it.

[Big Cat]

I gotta figure him out.

[Brandon Walker]

A sharing's worth more than a donation.

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, my. I just like them.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I'll fave.

[Brandon Walker]

I'll favor.

[Francis]

I'll favor.

[Brandon Walker]

GoFundMe.

[Big Cat]

I had a. I shared a GoFundMe from a. A girl that had cancer in my hometown about two months ago, right at Christmas. And I had. And then I went on about my business and did a college football tweet or something, and a guy DM me and said, if I knew you were going to say that about my team, I never would have donated to that. Girl with cancer.

[Sponsor Voice]

Damn.

[Big Cat]

All right.

[Brandon Walker]

What'd you say about his team?

[Big Cat]

Not they were going to lose or something. Something like that.

[Danny]

You shouldn't have said that about his team, though.

[Ed]

Have you had a colonoscopy?

[Big Cat]

No, I have not. Professional. I'm supposed to, but I. Chase. Chase had like.

[Kyle]

Is everyone thinking about it? I've been thinking about colon cancer.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ed]

After Vanderbilt.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Even before him, though.

[Brandon Walker]

I just ordered. I think. I think people our age aren't having enough. Fiber disordered. A bunch of cyber capsules.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Che]

If you're under 40, you got to get, like a doctor's note to do it.

[Ed]

Yeah. But now they're saying, like, people are getting this in their 30s, so.

[Brandon Walker]

Right.

[Ed]

They gotta, like, move it back.

[Brandon Walker]

Got me nervous again.

[Che]

Kind of fun, if I'm being honest.

[Big Cat]

God damn it.

[Ed]

I've had two.

[Sponsor Voice]

Which.

[Brandon Walker]

You've had two.

[Ed]

No, it's not fun.

[Francis]

The action or the prep.

[Che]

You got to drink the solution the day before and you just.

[Big Cat]

Non stop.

[Kyle]

It's just.

[Brandon Walker]

It's fun.

[Che]

Unlike. It's unlike a lot of experiences.

[Brandon Walker]

We should get one. We should get somebody in the office to do them.

[Kate]

My parents did. Like, it just happened to be Valentine's week, but they went together for colonoscopies and had my neighbor John drive them.

[Brandon Walker]

That's beautiful.

[Kate]

It's romantic. Keep your buttholes.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Safe as a squad.

[Kyle]

Probably. Probably. The implication afterwards.

[Kate]

What's the implication afterwards?

[Big Cat]

Loosened her up.

[Francis]

Cleaned alley.

[Kate]

Well, do they clean you out?

[Ed]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. New. Like a.

[Big Cat]

This is as clean as it's ever going to be.

[Kyle]

Or it just like, feels like machinery.

[Kate]

Maybe I'll get one.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Francis]

No.

[Big Cat]

How else would it be?

[Brandon Walker]

Why would you say that after we were just talking about that?

[Kate]

Just to feel clean and good. Just a fresh system start. It's like after you have the flu and you can't wait to have that first meal again, when you're finally feeling better, it's like just to feel that feeling. Not for hassle reasons.

[Danny]

I heard an. An interesting story from Kate this morning on Kate and Friends that I would like to get to the bottom two of. So we'll spare the details, but it was Kate's time of the month while Che was getting his hair done at the salon. And then Kate was like asking the. The salon owners, like, does anyone here have like a tampon? And Che was the first to speak up. And he had three on him that.

[Kate]

You thought you had, right? Two.

[Big Cat]

Two.

[Danny]

But like, you weren't even carrying a backpack. You just had these in your pockets.

[Che]

I thought I did.

[Kate]

He thought he did.

[Danny]

Oh, he didn't have them, actually.

[Che]

Didn't have them. So I went to a very fancy restaurant, a Michelin star restaurant. I went in the bathroom and there were some things. I didn't know what they were, but I was like, yeah, let me just put a couple in the pocket, see what they are.

[Danny]

Might have went in the wrong bathroom.

[Che]

No, it was unisex bathroom. California is very progressive single unisex bathroom. And I asked my wife when I got back to. Or when we got outside the restaurant, I was like, what are these things? And it was. It was not like a. It looked like half of a crayon.

[Big Cat]

Why would you.

[Che]

This looks fancy. It might have been a mint or something, I don't know. Wrapped up very nicely.

[Danny]

He's got this string hanging out of his mouth.

[Francis]

What a fucking idiot. Crayon.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Can't tell the difference between a crayon and a tampon.

[Brandon Walker]

We talked about this on anus, but there was a lot of championing of women going on that week because we were all at dinner.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

And we were like, all fucking around because there's like a lot of like AJ Brown was at the restaurant Gruden and like his crew. There was a lot of known people and notable people at the restaurant. And Kyle's fiance to fuck with. Kyle's like, oh, my God, I think that's Obama. And Kyle just goes, michelle.

[Kyle]

Every time someone's like, oh, I think Obama was at East Bank. I'm like, I didn't see her.

[Brandon Walker]

But then she was like, no, Barack. Oh, no, she said no. And you said, well, who else could it be?

[Francis]

Beautiful.

[Kyle]

Thank you.

[Brandon Walker]

What was that?

[Kyle]

Does that mean something? Right? It's gotta like. It's the Italian phrase.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

It wasn't appropriate probably.

[Francis]

Maybe.

[Ed]

I don't know.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, take that one out of the notes.

[Danny]

Sweetness.

[Big Cat]

Sweetness. Of doing nothing.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Kate]

Nailed it.

[Kyle]

That's what you guys need more of?

[Big Cat]

Doing nothing or just that feeling?

[Kyle]

Francis.

[Brandon Walker]

Sorry.

[Francis]

I don't like doing nothing. That drives me crazy.

[Big Cat]

I love it.

[Francis]

I have to do something. I get really antsy.

[Big Cat]

You're doing something all the time.

[Francis]

Well, I try to do nothing. I tell myself I need a break and then. Doesn't take long for that to become.

[Big Cat]

But it's like.

[Brandon Walker]

But you're like golfing, like relaxing in New Zealand.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

That's the biggest something.

[Big Cat]

Coughing on the weekend or something. That's like doing nothing.

[Francis]

Oh, you.

[Che]

Okay.

[Francis]

That's nothing. No.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Brandon Walker]

But that's nothing.

[Francis]

That feels like I like doing that.

[Big Cat]

But I love doing it. What I'm saying is I don't like doing everything, but I make a tee time for Sunday at 1 o' clock and I just go, that. That's. That's a very productive nothing.

[Kyle]

That's very much something.

[Francis]

Yes.

[Kyle]

We're in a crisis of people laying in their bed all day on their phone.

[Big Cat]

That's nothing.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I can't do that.

[Big Cat]

Like, fishing is nothing but something.

[Francis]

I wouldn't call it nothing.

[Kyle]

Fishing is nothing.

[Francis]

You got to plan it, you got to coordinate it. There's a boat, there's a time.

[Ed]

What's your perfect length of vacation, Francis?

[Francis]

That's a good question. Probably like four days, five days. Now it's four to five. I went to New Zealand for two weeks. I could not handle it too much.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Were you afraid of like missing out on stuff or.

[Francis]

I just wanted to get back to work.

[Big Cat]

You know how to do the hawk on it.

[Brandon Walker]

Work is fun.

[Big Cat]

Our work is.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It honestly sucked. It was like I had a lot of. I was posting all the time coming into the end of the year and then I went out there and came back and felt very disconnected.

[Brandon Walker]

But did you feel you convinced yourself you lost momentum?

[Francis]

Yeah, I think I did.

[Brandon Walker]

I don't.

[Francis]

No, dude, I was just throwing on on Instagram and tick tock and it was ripping eating anything or like.

[Brandon Walker]

Those are like. I think that would rip even if you took a little break.

[Francis]

Her. Her kids on Christmas blew up.

[Dante]

Really?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You. You have been hot streak.

[Francis]

Like, not anymore.

[Big Cat]

Now.

[Francis]

Now January.

[Kyle]

That's how it works for everyone.

[Francis]

January went quiet.

[Big Cat]

Can I.

[Kyle]

The next step.

[Brandon Walker]

Would you.

[Kyle]

You'd have to do something morally evil to get to the next step that you want to be at.

[Francis]

Maybe.

[Big Cat]

I think the concept of momentum in our line just in our heads. No, I think I've been on streaks where I feel like, oh, I haven't done anything that popped in a while, or I haven't, or I am on a hot streak and then it's generally, we're just the same all the way. I don't think momentum from people looking at us is the same as the momentum we feel inside ourselves.

[Francis]

Maybe, but, I mean, you do have a numerical way of tracking, which is just social media followers, but sometimes those.

[Big Cat]

Algorithms are bullshit anyway.

[Francis]

Yeah, maybe sometimes. I mean, when they're pouring in and then. And you see, over the last 90 days, I had this many people added or whatever came to see me. And then over the last 90 days, now it's one tenth of that number. You're like, okay, well, that was a period of bounty. And this is a period I was doing something better than I am now.

[Big Cat]

But you also just said you have sold out 16 straight comedies.

[Francis]

Well, I'm not. That's a different metric. I mean, the. The stand up stuff. Because the people in X City, I'm only going there once a year.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

So, like, that's their only opportunity to see me. Maybe.

[Brandon Walker]

Danny. A hot streaks. Multiple good things in a row.

[Danny]

Just gonna ask.

[Kyle]

I don't think there's a correlation between numbers and quality necessarily.

[Francis]

Maybe not. Yeah.

[Danny]

Because now you can just post a picture with text over it and it might get a million likes.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Danny]

It's not even funny, you know?

[Brandon Walker]

Are you disheartened when you put out something you don't think is good and it goes crazy?

[Francis]

I'm disheartened when I see the success of Jack Mac. Just baffles me.

[Dante]

Can't.

[Francis]

Fat. I can't understand. I like Jack, but if it's in.

[Brandon Walker]

A lane of something that you have no interest in doing.

[Francis]

Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not like. And I don't envy it. There are people I envy. But what do you mean?

[Brandon Walker]

Like, if there's somebody doing content that I have, like, like I would never want to do, then I don't really care.

[Francis]

Yeah. I can't compete with Hannah Montoya. I don't know what's going on there.

[Brandon Walker]

That's not really what I'm saying.

[Danny]

You say you don't make the Jack Maxed out.

[Brandon Walker]

You don't want to do political stuff or. Oh, Internet recaps.

[Francis]

Yeah, but I mean, I wouldn't mind having a million TikTok followers. I feel like I'd be in theaters.

[Brandon Walker]

But would you.

[Ed]

Would you.

[Brandon Walker]

Would you want to do stuff? You didn't like to get that number?

[Francis]

Exactly. I do a lot of stuff I don't like. I didn't like eating three quarters of a fucking wedding cake.

[Big Cat]

But.

[Francis]

Would you purge?

[Big Cat]

But those things do a huge number.

[Francis]

Both.

[Brandon Walker]

But, like, those are. Do you watch that? Like, that's funny what I do.

[Francis]

No, I don't understand the eating thing. I don't know how that thing. I don't understand. You're very good at it. And it's the commentary and I don't understand. I never understood the Game of Thrones thing either. The song. I never understood either. Those are two where I was like, I can't even. I couldn't even watch this myself. And oh, my God. And I don't understand the appeal.

[Kyle]

That's for elegant someone and you give.

[Francis]

Them what they want. You know, if it works, you keep going. But like.

[Brandon Walker]

So, like, are you bummed when something pops off that you don't like? You're like, I gotta keep.

[Francis]

No, no. Oh, oh, oh.

[Big Cat]

All your numbers are huge. Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

That's insane.

[Francis]

Heck, you're doing all numbers are great. But I'm not complaining about the success. I'm just baffled by one more. The formula.

[Kyle]

I can't more.

[Francis]

Have you figured out.

[Ed]

Have you gotten. You're the guy who eats the weird things for lunch.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

You have to.

[Francis]

I get that from. Yeah. Women. Women love it.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. But they don't even. They don't know that I work at Barstool. They don't know about. Son of a boy. Dad. They don't know that I. An Internet invitational tires.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Eat a pussy at work.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, have holy.

[Big Cat]

Eat a pussy, Stephen. Jesus. Brandon. At work.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Big Cat]

Okay, don't. I'm just giving you an idea.

[Francis]

Eat a pussy at work.

[Big Cat]

Well, you ate a lobster.

[Francis]

Who do you think I am, Nicky Smokes?

[Brandon Walker]

I mean, your whisper intro. And if you just slide spread leg.

[Kyle]

That would be hilarious.

[Francis]

Normally, I'd be way too self conscious. See that?

[Big Cat]

You're welcome. Man.

[Francis]

Speaking of Nicky Smokes really quick. So yesterday I got. I was just telling him this. I got off the subway and I was coming back into my neighborhood and walking up the steps, and this guy said, hey, hey, you work at Barstool, right? And I Was like, yeah. He's like, oh, I'm friends with Nicky Smokes. And I was like, oh, cool. And then we just walked in the same direction together. Like, three feet apart, going the same way. And he's talking to me about how he knows Nicky Smokes, and they went to college together and all of this. And we're getting closer to my. Where I live. And, like, I don't know this guy. And, you know, I'm really, like, approaching it, and I'm thinking, like, do I walk past my own home to maintain some level of privacy for this? But I turned in, and I was like, well, this is me. As if we were gonna kiss good night.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Well, yeah, that was fun.

[Francis]

Yeah. Jingling my keys from Hitch. But, yeah. He went on. He was a nice guy. He was a nice guy.

[Brandon Walker]

What's. What was like a Nicky Smokes friend? It was. Was he douchebag presenting? Was he womanizing presenting?

[Francis]

He seemed douchebag reformed. He's like, I have a wife. And, you know, you could smell it on him, though.

[Big Cat]

Former douchebag.

[Francis]

Yeah. There was like a. You could just see the hint of, like, a. A neck tattoo under his cashmere scarf.

[Danny]

Still had the earring holes.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Did you ever have pierced ears? Didn't you have a.

[Ed]

Did you have a high school?

[Brandon Walker]

Okay.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Did you have the Eminem bleached hair, too?

[Ed]

It was. Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Okay.

[Francis]

I could see it.

[Brandon Walker]

Photos of that surfaced.

[Ed]

The ears. Yes. The hair. I don't know if they exist. Probably just on physical copies, like yearbooks. No, because I wouldn't. There was always a summer thing because I wasn't ever allowed to have that in school.

[Danny]

Just Jonah Hill, 21 Jump Street?

[Ed]

Pretty much, yeah.

[Danny]

Our high school didn't even allow earrings either.

[Ed]

No. You can put the clear plastic.

[Danny]

You just did it for the weekends.

[Ed]

I had a similar interaction, but it was Nicky Smokes, his brother once.

[Francis]

Get out.

[Brandon Walker]

I didn't know he had a brother.

[Ed]

I was a stunner. Yeah. I was in a casino in, like, Fort Lauderdale for Dana's bachelor party. This guy's like, yo, I'm Nicky Smokes, his brother. It's like, oh, actually not. Didn't seem douchebag. Reform seemed normal.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Cool. It's just a cpa.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

I guess Brandon's gone.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ed]

Yeah, that's.

[Francis]

Was kind of.

[Brandon Walker]

He's on edge. Why is he on edge? I don't know. You could just tell. He was hollering earlier. I heard him screaming.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

And then I asked, why were you screaming? He Said I wasn't. He was. What was he screaming? He had to put on a different shirt.

[Kyle]

Oh, that does suck sometimes. Sometimes.

[Brandon Walker]

Or a guy that sucks.

[Francis]

Oh, at work, Kyle, do you do burpees?

[Kyle]

Is that like a.

[Brandon Walker]

Is that a.

[Francis]

No. No, we're not gonna challenge.

[Kyle]

I don't. Do I lift for. Just for aesthetics.

[Francis]

Yeah, burpees.

[Kyle]

They're too hard. I don't do, like, cardio lifts. I respect them.

[Francis]

You'd be good at them.

[Brandon Walker]

Sorry, you'd be really.

[Francis]

You'd fucking.

[Kyle]

Why? What about them?

[Francis]

Bounce off the ground? Well, there's this test. There's a fitness test that has come up that I've learned about. That is, like, a pretty universal test. And it's really hard. You do a 15 burpee emom for as many rounds as you can.

[Kyle]

I'm, like, instantly out on that.

[Francis]

Yeah, it sucks. It's a nightmare.

[Kate]

What does it tell you if you're good at it? Like, surprise, you're fit.

[Francis]

They say the guy said if you do five, you're. That's good. Seven means you're in really good shape. And like, 10 or more means you're like.

[Kyle]

Okay. That would motivate me. Okay.

[Kate]

How many did you do it?

[Francis]

I got five, but.

[Kate]

Oh, so it's, like, hard because you're in shape.

[Francis]

Took me three weeks of training them.

[Kate]

Oh, shoot.

[Francis]

At five.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Francis]

And it was. It's a nightmare.

[Kate]

Yeah, I believe it.

[Francis]

That's 15 burpees in one minute. And then you get to rest until the next minute starts. So the first round I did in 44 seconds. And then progressively your rest time gets shorter.

[Kate]

It's like a power hour. Suddenly the beers come quicker.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

It's the one thing we can relate to.

[Kate]

Oh, I know what you mean. I've done a power hour.

[Kyle]

Do you subscribe to the notion that you must do things that are excruciatingly hard?

[Francis]

No. You've talked to me about this. You've told me about why you shower cold in the morning.

[Kyle]

I'm over that.

[Francis]

Oh, you don't. You are?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Subjecting yourself to discomfort because it. What?

[Kyle]

I think there's a lot of hackiness to that lifestyle.

[Francis]

Oh, you've now disavowed it.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, big time.

[Francis]

Oh, I'm happy to hear that. Welcome back to comfort, right?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

You gave up on comfort for what I did?

[Kyle]

Dude, it didn't do anything.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. It just makes you miserable.

[Kyle]

Kind of had, like, a placebo effect.

[Francis]

Yeah, you're.

[Kyle]

I was delusional in the sense that I thought I was, like, ascending, which felt good, but.

[Francis]

Whoa. What. What do you mean by that?

[Kyle]

I thought I was, like, ascending. Like, my thought, oh, I think I'm on the path of, like, enlightened happiness and. Oh, just like, okay, a better quality of life.

[Francis]

Oh. Was there a euphoria that came from the actual discomfort or from completing the discomfort? Like, once you were done, you're like, wow.

[Kyle]

Now I know it's a preliminary euphoria. Thinking that I was going to be, like, forever progressing. Boy, there's some plateau quickly. You're like, oh, this sucks.

[Francis]

There's some God complex talk going on here. I gotta be. I gotta warn you.

[Kyle]

Yeah, well, that's like.

[Francis]

There's no wonder that you're.

[Kyle]

Boys push this stuff. They are like, you have to want to be a God. You have to strive to be a beast. And it's like, no, you don't. Lifting weights is. Is a men's beauty routine. Is a mundane health routine. It should be treated as such.

[Francis]

Don't exclude the ladies. I love. I love a girl with some fucking thick ass traps.

[Kate]

I've been going twice a week.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, that's the new year. That's what it should be, going two to three times a week.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Not like making it everything.

[Francis]

I like women that don't have breasts. They have pecs.

[Brandon Walker]

Is that what you're into now?

[Francis]

Yeah, just a nipple on a really hard fucking shelf.

[Brandon Walker]

What else. What else do you look for?

[Kyle]

I'd be fine with that.

[Francis]

I want vascularity in their cleavage. What else do I look for? Kindness. That's a big one. But definitely.

[Brandon Walker]

But definitely the pecs.

[Francis]

Definitely vascularity ahead of kindness. I'll take a mean old bitch if she's easy to give an IV to wiggly veins.

[Kate]

Yeah, I saw that. Any. Anyone can sign up for those competitions, you know, where you get on the stage real tan and you're like, oh, yeah. Literally anybody. Part of me is like, just to zest my life up just for fun. Just do it. I'm not fit.

[Kyle]

Do that.

[Kate]

Yeah, just.

[Kyle]

That'd be funny.

[Kate]

I don't know, just as a joke kind of.

[Big Cat]

But like, yeah, I once worked with a gal who did that on the weekends, but she looked like she had a normal body, like normal everything. But then she would show us pictures from the competition she had on Saturday where she was just fucking tan and ripped.

[Brandon Walker]

But then they hydrate yourself.

[Big Cat]

They're able to present themselves. Totally.

[Brandon Walker]

Do those people not live long? Or when they stop working out, they become pretty fat?

[Big Cat]

No, I Think the Uber, like the. The ones that go way, way way.

[Kyle]

They're perceptible to early death.

[Brandon Walker]

Is he a mailman or a UPS man?

[Kyle]

I don't know much about that world.

[Brandon Walker]

But, like, those guys look like they're in tremendous.

[Kyle]

I think he is.

[Brandon Walker]

And he's uncomfortable all the time.

[Sponsor Voice]

Her food.

[Kate]

She had to plan out every second of her food of the day and whatever. And like, it's just not. She couldn't maintain it, my friend, for like, more than a year.

[Ed]

His documentary is really sad.

[Brandon Walker]

Is it?

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

He's still around, right?

[Big Cat]

Steve Mahalic shot himself.

[Ed]

Yeah, he did.

[Francis]

I watched that. Ronnie Coleman.

[Ed]

Doc Ryan's really sad.

[Francis]

He can't stop working out and he can barely. He can't even walk. Yeah, he still goes and, like, puts himself under the machines and stuff, throwing.

[Ed]

Up three plates, like.

[Francis]

Yeah. It's insane.

[Ed]

No problem.

[Che]

Hey, do you remember that True Life? I'm a bodybuilder.

[Ed]

Yeah, I. I vaguely remember that one True Life was a great.

[Kate]

Remember he had his dad shaving his ass? Warm, right? I remember that part. His dad would shave his body, all his crevices for him before the show. Yeah, I remember the other one too. The True Life. The guy was a weightlifter but couldn't get the definition he wanted, so he got muscle implants. So he looks super ripped.

[Che]

His calf implants, right?

[Kate]

Got calf implants? Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Johnny Drama. But my dad never shaved my ass one time. No, not one time, Kate.

[Brandon Walker]

I'm starting to think he wasn't a good pops.

[Francis]

My dad shaved my ass every time.

[Brandon Walker]

Every day. You tweeze it?

[Ed]

Is anybody in here getting night terrors?

[Brandon Walker]

Yes.

[Ed]

You do?

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[Brandon Walker]

I have stress dreams all the time.

[Francis]

What do you see?

[Brandon Walker]

A figure.

[Big Cat]

Why are you laughing?

[Brandon Walker]

Sleep paralysis.

[Ed]

A lot is.

[Francis]

I've had it twice in my life and I can pinpoint that I know to a day, the moment in time that it happened. And I can remember what I saw. And it is the most horrified I've ever been. You see a figure?

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Francis]

What does the figure look like?

[Brandon Walker]

It's like a silhouette shape.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's dark.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, I had that and then I feel like I'm awake but can't move.

[Francis]

Oh, that's sleep paralysis.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, horrible. I wake up gasping for air and I can't go back to sleep.

[Big Cat]

Sounds fucking awful.

[Ed]

I turned on a doc about it yesterday. I watched 10 minutes. I turned it off. It was so scary.

[Francis]

I did it. I. Dude, I woke up and I'm telling you, when I say screaming, I mean like 30 seconds of. Like the guy who finds the head of the horse and the guy. That's what it was, dude.

[Ed]

Valid. It was, dude.

[Brandon Walker]

Are you guys sleepwalkers?

[Ed]

No, I'm hot when it's like hot.

[Brandon Walker]

Okay. You know, I wake up disoriented every time I travel. Like your first night somewhere else. I'm wake up super disoriented and kind of wander.

[Kyle]

Oh yeah, that's. Terror is like a perfectly rated emotion.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, it sucks. Nobody likes terror.

[Kyle]

There's not really an upside.

[Brandon Walker]

No upside to terror.

[Big Cat]

So why do people chase it forth.

[Brandon Walker]

Like movies and that's adrenaline or that's scary. That's scary.

[Big Cat]

Okay. That's. That's once a couple steps below terror.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Che]

I like being scared once in a while. That's why, that's why I see scared.

[Big Cat]

But people thrill seek with like, you know, jumping out of airplanes and doing. People push the limits all the time trying to get themselves to that level of adrenaline through terror.

[Francis]

And also I would say that like a great horror movie could terrify.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Terror is different though. Terrors when you. Disaster is impending for you. You think death is like terrors when the boat is sinking, not when you have a parachute to fall back on.

[Ed]

It's a good point.

[Kyle]

You only. I've only had it once when I thought I was dying.

[Big Cat]

So terror is the imminent fear of death.

[Brandon Walker]

When did you think you were dying?

[Kyle]

When I had the. The sin. The barstool sponsored synthetic cannabinoid.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, is that when you're with dlo?

[Kyle]

Yeah. I thought I was gonna die in Cheesequake. Gotta pull over. Jeff. Are you sure?

[Brandon Walker]

He was texting me through that. Yeah. Okay. Try to jump out of his car.

[Francis]

Holy moly, dude. I got stuck under a kayak that had flipped over on the middle fork of the Salmon river when I was 9. And I thought that was a terror. I thought I was gonna die.

[Danny]

What's the difference between night terrors and sleep paralysis?

[Ed]

Sleep paralysis. You can't move.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Ed]

Like you're, you are. You know what's going on and you can't. You have no control over it. I believe.

[Kate]

Yeah, you're screaming, but nobody. It's one of the reasons I left IUP and like joined the military was I was doing a lot of drugs and drinking at the time. But I started getting. I had a few bouts of sleep paralysis and I was convinced it was like death was coming. It was.

[Brandon Walker]

So I was like decided to join the military.

[Kate]

I was laying in my bed at school. I was like I'm gonna do it. Get killed on my own terms. I was like laying in my bed. Scream. I. I was screaming in my head. It felt so real for somebody to help me, but I couldn't. And my roommates were like, no, we didn't hear you. You weren't screaming. I was like. I was. I was awake and I was screaming and I couldn't move out of my bed.

[Kyle]

Like, as bad as it gets.

[Kate]

And it lasted for like, felt like forever.

[Ed]

Do you still get it?

[Kate]

No, I haven't had it since then.

[Ed]

White Socks Dave gets it pretty bad.

[Danny]

I think you would have to feel so relieved to know that other people are seeing like a demonic figure in their room too.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, I think there's a big group, but there's like a lot. It happens to a lot of people.

[Danny]

I don't know how you just go about your day after that.

[Kate]

Yeah, we're having a scorpion show, boys. We're getting a little scorpion.

[Big Cat]

That was. That was Rico's thing during surviving. Right.

[Brandon Walker]

Was he would scream.

[Big Cat]

He said he got night terrors and.

[Ed]

Yeah. So I think that's just a dream where you're really into it and you're like active and you're screaming.

[Big Cat]

Just nightmare.

[Ed]

Yes.

[Brandon Walker]

I think it's like stress dreams. But what does White Sox Dave have to be stressed about?

[Ed]

It's a good question. Nick see him getting massaged this morning?

[Kate]

We've avoided it as long as we can. This is what we'd rather talk about than.

[Brandon Walker]

I don't.

[Francis]

The first woman president.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Francis]

Michelle. Oh.

[Big Cat]

Do we have a miny Whitney feud?

[Brandon Walker]

Who cares?

[Big Cat]

Good.

[Danny]

Seem pretty one sided.

[Big Cat]

Good point.

[Brandon Walker]

Who gives a.

[Big Cat]

You're right. You're right. My bad. My bad. That's on me.

[Brandon Walker]

That's all right.

[Big Cat]

My favorite miny feud of all time was Francis.

[Brandon Walker]

He mincy text me out last night and he just said, this trip's wild.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

What happened with me and Mincy?

[Big Cat]

You don't remember that when you were on a trivia team and you didn't perform that well and you end up blog back and forth.

[Francis]

Forgot about that.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it was forgettable, I guess.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

How big is your kill list?

[Francis]

What do you mean?

[Kyle]

You know, like, how many people have you ended via?

[Francis]

I don't think. I don't know. As long as.

[Kyle]

How many people have you attempted to. I'll ask.

[Francis]

Well, there's always. I mean, I've written blogs about people, but some of them are like, light hearted. Like, I wrote a blog about Taylor Lawan, how he has a stylist and he tells people that he dresses himself, but that was in. That was in good fun.

[Kyle]

It's a roast. Classic roast.

[Francis]

Yeah, it was also. Yeah. I mean, just acknowledging how fucking handsome he is. That's very different than writing a blog up about Ben Mintz or something like that.

[Kyle]

He is living a dream life.

[Kate]

Yeah, dude.

[Kyle]

He's in Cappadocia, which is, like. I think it's one of the coolest looking places in the world.

[Francis]

Is that where they have the hot air balloons?

[Kyle]

There's a video of someone, like, riding a bicycle through Cappadocia with the hot air balloons, and it's cool. The most mesmerizing thing I've ever seen.

[Big Cat]

It was on a camel this morning.

[Francis]

I saw that. That. That look on his face killed me.

[Big Cat]

Well, that was him acting.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, it was in the.

[Big Cat]

Oh, whenever he acts.

[Brandon Walker]

When he does. Whenever he does the face thing. Acting.

[Big Cat]

Y.

[Francis]

Come on, dude. That's a funny face.

[Big Cat]

No, no, no, no. That's his. That's exactly that.

[Brandon Walker]

The little head.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's his.

[Brandon Walker]

Yo, film.

[Big Cat]

Film this.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, you'll get this.

[Francis]

I don't mind it. I think it's funny for it.

[Kate]

I giggled this morning when I saw it.

[Big Cat]

Keep your pants up.

[Francis]

He looks horrified. Brandon, have you ever ridden on a camel before?

[Big Cat]

No, I have not.

[Brandon Walker]

Gotta work.

[Francis]

Yeah, I actually got some. Oh, I got some camel burgers.

[Brandon Walker]

Whoa, you ate camel?

[Francis]

No, I'm going to. I have them at work. Freezer. Yeah, I think I'll do that. Yeah. Problem is, is, like, it doesn't look crazy, and you got to hold the packaging up to prove that it actually is camel. Yeah. So it's not that the visually weird things are more fun.

[Brandon Walker]

What else is out there? Visually weird?

[Francis]

Well, I wanted to do. Everyone's been telling me I need to do my own hibachi chef. The problem is that the fire code in our building in New York is incredibly tight. We can't have any open flame. And then you reach out to a bunch of hibachi places, and they're like, no flame. No flame.

[Brandon Walker]

What a slap in the face.

[Francis]

What are we supposed to do?

[Brandon Walker]

That's the hibachi chef voice.

[Francis]

Well, those are the mobs. Those are the New York pimps that run the. I didn't know that illegally. I didn't know it was a ring immigrant for them. They're all. All those chefs, by the way, are married to the happy ending massage parlor masseuses.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[Francis]

Yeah, they're in it. They're. They're just totally in a Bad situation.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Francis, have you ever seen the videos or the restaurants where they'll bring in like an entire tuna and then they'll do like tuna sashimi? Like they cut up an entire tuna carcass in front of you.

[Francis]

Who's this?

[Brandon Walker]

That's tj.

[Francis]

Oh, hey, tj.

[Big Cat]

He's behind the glass over here.

[Francis]

Do they do that at a restaurant?

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Francis]

No, I've never. Holy.

[Kate]

How much is that? Like, that's got to be like 5300. Yeah. Do that for instance.

[Kyle]

Everyone to see.

[Francis]

It's like going to a movie. Then once the tuna is chopped in half. Good Lord.

[Big Cat]

There's too many British people on Tik Tok.

[Brandon Walker]

You think so?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Every time I watch a video and it's a British guy, I just turn it off.

[Kyle]

Kind of feel you.

[Brandon Walker]

What's the UK's population?

[Big Cat]

They all talk.

[Kyle]

60 something.

[Brandon Walker]

They're everywhere.

[Big Cat]

They all talk. They think we want to hear them talk too.

[Kyle]

Do talk.

[Big Cat]

I watch a lot of old video game content, you know, retro video game lists and. And all this stuff. And nine out of ten of them are British and it just pisses me off.

[Kate]

Oh, I live my algorithms. All the British girls who are like the Scouses, who do the white lipstick with the big fake eyebrows.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah.

[Kate]

They're like borderline travelers. And I'm obsessed with them.

[Francis]

All those girls go to Ibiza every time they can.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Francis]

They're always down there.

[Kate]

Yep.

[Francis]

The girls from Manchester.

[Kate]

Yep.

[Francis]

So they look like.

[Kyle]

They wear nothing so ugly.

[Francis]

They look like.

[Kate]

But there's a market. There's dudes that are very.

[Kyle]

Yeah. British guys.

[Francis]

Those guys look like.

[Brandon Walker]

Like giant veneers.

[Kate]

I live for their Get Ready with Me videos because they look okay at the start of it. And then by the time they're ready to go out, you're like, what the fuck?

[Brandon Walker]

They look like shit. Their food is bad. It always rains over there and they sound hilarious.

[Francis]

Kyle, explain to me the evolutionary process that made Americans more attractive than British people. Because that's not that long.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Francis]

Why are Americans. Is that just because we have places like California and good weather diet they don't have? Yeah.

[Kate]

Wasn't. Varying genetics makes people. Because the more the same you got, the weirder everybody gets. And they're on kind of. Not England's not an island, but kind of is. We've got more of a range of people. We can.

[Kyle]

We'll look at Australia. All the British people that moved to Australia got progressively more attractive. They're good looking because they're in more Sun.

[Francis]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, Everybody is good looking down there.

[Kate]

They're like, oh, yeah, I've seen some.

[Kyle]

They're fun looking.

[Brandon Walker]

They have a. They have a unique look.

[Francis]

Oh, there's some beautiful Australians.

[Kyle]

There is, for sure.

[Kate]

Beautiful Australians. I watched this documentary about this, like, Coober Petey, like the one bar out there where it's all the. It's a long story, but it was just, like, creatures.

[Big Cat]

You're out in, like, the desert and stuff, get away from Sydney and the beaches. I can see where they would get.

[Kate]

They got there. They got their fellas.

[Francis]

Do you know that in New Zealand there is not a single snake or spider in the entire country?

[Big Cat]

I don't think I did know that.

[Kate]

No spiders.

[Kyle]

Lovely.

[Francis]

Not a single.

[Big Cat]

Like, how'd they get away with no snake?

[Francis]

There's not a single poisonous or venomous creature of any kind on the island.

[Big Cat]

But Australia has all of them.

[Francis]

Oh, everything.

[Brandon Walker]

What about Japan?

[Francis]

I don't know, but like a.

[Kate]

Like a bushel of bananas. Never had a spider egg in it that got spiders.

[Francis]

I don't know what to say other than that they. When we walk, when I came into the country, they check the bottom of your shoes to see if there's mud on it from wherever you might have been. And if there is, they make you throw your shoes out.

[Brandon Walker]

Did you have to?

[Francis]

No, my shoes were clean, but there was a woman in front of me who had to take hers off. Wow.

[Kate]

Dang.

[Big Cat]

Where did you go to Auckland or.

[Francis]

Flew into a Christchurch? No, then I went Auckland for a few days, and then I was down in, like, Queenstown, Wanaka area.

[Ed]

How can that be? No spiders?

[Francis]

No spiders. They've. I. They have had invasive species come and it has up their rivers and, you know, stuff like that, but. So somehow they've managed to keep predators and things like that out.

[Big Cat]

Wow.

[Kate]

I wonder if anyone's ever taken that as a personal goal. I'm gonna sneak a hole.

[Brandon Walker]

Somebody wants to.

[Ed]

Spiders, probably.

[Big Cat]

Asian.

[Kate]

Tell your buddies that was me. I did that.

[Big Cat]

Y' all ever. Y' all ever stepped on a spider that had eggs or had.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, it's horrifying.

[Francis]

They all come running out.

[Big Cat]

They all just come running.

[Francis]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon Walker]

Nightmare.

[Big Cat]

I did that. I wasn't. I didn't step on it. I was trying to gently take it and move it outside by hand and. Yeah, and. Well, with the tissue. And then I squeezed it too hard and they just.

[Brandon Walker]

I don't even think it's eggs. I think they're all just kind of on the mama.

[Francis]

Right?

[Big Cat]

Oh, they're in.

[Brandon Walker]

Are they in eggs or are they just.

[Big Cat]

They're in the sack.

[Brandon Walker]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

They're in the. The egg sack. Just thousands and thousands of little spiders.

[Brandon Walker]

A sack of anything is the worst.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, baby.

[Brandon Walker]

Shouldn't come sacks.

[Francis]

Well, Santa's sack is pretty good.

[Brandon Walker]

That's not sac toys.

[Francis]

Oh, I see sacs.

[Brandon Walker]

Sac is bad.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Say that to Nick Cole's or Jack McCarthy.

[Brandon Walker]

That's SAC kit.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That's just.

[Brandon Walker]

No, Santa Sack is great.

[Big Cat]

NASCAR. The Daytona 500 isn't just the start of NASCAR season. It's the moment where everything comes alive again and sets the tone for the entire year. It's iconic speed, pure spectacle and adrenaline filled moments wrapped into one larger than life American tradition. The great American race is prestigious without feeling stuffy and unpredictable in a way that keeps your heart and your throat for 500 miles. For drivers, it's the race that defines careers and etches their names into the history books forever. Full Throttle 3 Wide Door to Door racing. Action for the win. Clear your schedule, grab a drink, tune into the Daytona 500, Sunday, February 15th. That is this Sunday, February 15th at 2:30pm Eastern on Fox.

[Francis]

Goodread.

[Big Cat]

Thank you very much.

[Brandon Walker]

Can you name. Are you going to watch the Daytona 500?

[Big Cat]

I usually do. Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

I was trying to think of NASCAR drivers because I was driving up a Spider. I couldn't. I couldn't name like two.

[Kyle]

You can name a few.

[Big Cat]

Bubba Wallace, Kyle busch, Ricky Stenhouse Jr. He's still going junior. Yeah. The famous. The ones that are good right now, that's where I struggle.

[Danny]

Denny Hamlin.

[Big Cat]

Denny Hamlin's great. Yeah.

[Ed]

Ryan Priest.

[Brandon Walker]

Are there some. I think there's some like Hispanic guys that are crushing.

[Big Cat]

Are there.

[Brandon Walker]

There's Hispanic sounding names.

[Francis]

Pedro.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, I think he think he's doing well. Finish top 10.

[Kate]

I like Ross Chastain. The watermelon farmer.

[Ed]

Yes.

[Kate]

Sometimes his car looks like a big watermelon.

[Ed]

Yes. Really great merch. Great.

[Brandon Walker]

See, I don't know anything about it. I'm gonna watch this weekend, though.

[Big Cat]

Kyle Larson. That's who I was thinking of.

[Kate]

That's still one of my dreams. Is always to the Hamptons.

[Big Cat]

Oh, Blaney. Blaney was the. The.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, he's really good at the gauntlets.

[Ed]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Where did you get Hispanic spider was brothers.

[Brandon Walker]

I said, who should I bet on? And he said these names.

[Big Cat]

And we had SVG in the office too.

[Kate]

Austin Dillon, his pit crews. Super hot.

[Brandon Walker]

I think I was lied to, boys.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you'll just believe anything. What about host Daniel Suarez.

[Kate]

Yeah, there you go. Daniel Suarez.

[Brandon Walker]

Suarez.

[Kate]

Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Extremely NASCAR. Nice.

[Francis]

Oh, I'm. I'm working.

[Big Cat]

Oh, wow. How are you always offended at every goddamn thing?

[Kyle]

Wow, he's pissed.

[Big Cat]

Unbelievable.

[Brandon Walker]

I think he forgets we're live every single time.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Why is he mad at you? You're supposed to.

[Francis]

Dante, come here.

[Big Cat]

Come here, Dante.

[Kate]

Francis. Why would he be mad at you? Do you have a guess?

[Francis]

We. We have a bit where I get mad at him when he comes to New York and doesn't tell me, and then.

[Danny]

Oh, you're hearing.

[Francis]

But I don't. I actually.

[Danny]

I'm just kidding.

[Big Cat]

Come here, Dante. Dante, come here.

[Kate]

We send him away again.

[Brandon Walker]

No.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Francis]

But no.

[Big Cat]

Come here.

[Francis]

Why are you saying no?

[Dante]

I can't hear.

[Big Cat]

Have a seat real quick. Those shoes are too much.

[Dante]

What are you doing here, Brandon?

[Brandon Walker]

You're not shooting the Dane.

[Big Cat]

Those shoes are too good.

[Francis]

We have to. We weren't able to get what we needed. We had a sponsored one we had to do when I was here for the.

[Dante]

You're having a rough month, huh?

[Big Cat]

Jesus. You'll.

[Kate]

You'll.

[Francis]

You'll be happy about the what's.

[Dante]

Yeah, I know I am.

[Francis]

Did he talk to you?

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Oh, really?

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Well, there you go. That's great.

[Big Cat]

Why does that please you so much?

[Francis]

He was mad at me that I hadn't reached out to him about the.

[Dante]

That he didn't consult me.

[Big Cat]

Why would he consult you?

[Kate]

He's an early day.

[Dante]

He fucking been here since day zero.

[Big Cat]

But he's got Dave Portnoy's ear. He's.

[Dante]

Yeah, he hears one fucking perspective.

[Sponsor Voice]

You're.

[Dante]

Do you know anything about writing a book? You read books. I know you read books. Do you know anything about writing them? Yeah, you don't want one single story if you're writing an autobiography on somebody.

[Francis]

That's what I thought, dude. And then he told me. I feel like you should not have consulted other sources.

[Big Cat]

Dante. I'm an outside.

[Francis]

That to me, I'm an outsider because it's his. It's his story and his memory.

[Dante]

And you're a charity case.

[Big Cat]

Me?

[Dante]

Yes.

[Francis]

Whoa. What's going on here?

[Big Cat]

What is going on?

[Brandon Walker]

So hostile, abrupt.

[Dante]

I said hi to Brandon yesterday and he just, like, looked at me, like, disgusted and walked by me.

[Brandon Walker]

I don't.

[Dante]

That's not true what I did to you now you're like good days, bad days with me.

[Francis]

I don't understand what makes him a charity case.

[Dante]

I'm mad. I'm mad. I'm Mad at Francis.

[Big Cat]

Fine.

[Dante]

How many times is this? Now you're just laughing. You are.

[Francis]

You're just laughing. You're unbelievable, dude. What do you mean? Just tell Two hander.

[Dante]

Just tell me you don't want to go out with me.

[Francis]

Well, dude, the last time we went out to dinner was one of my favorite meals I've ever had.

[Dante]

Ben, what happened?

[Francis]

They changed the restaurant. Now it's Fire by Alinea. I can't go there. It's closed down.

[Dante]

They close that?

[Francis]

They closed that. That's too expensive. We can't go there. The place it was before was great.

[Dante]

Royster.

[Francis]

Yeah, that was great. Phenomenal. Yeah, but Fire by any. I also was very good.

[Dante]

You got so high.

[Francis]

Did I?

[Dante]

Yeah, you had that unbelievable weed.

[Francis]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dante]

Went outside. I. It was way too strong for me.

[Francis]

But we did that in the middle of it.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. That was fun, man.

[Che]

I like.

[Dante]

I was like. I like doing dinner with Frank.

[Francis]

It was so good.

[Dante]

Let's do it again. And you just have like ghosted me every time.

[Francis]

Honestly, when I come here now, it's like what we're here doing is like intense. Every fucking time.

[Dante]

What are you doing for dinner?

[Francis]

Nothing, no plans. You want to do something? Wanna have dinner?

[Dante]

I might be busy.

[Francis]

Oh, no, I'm just. In truth, I didn't tell you I was coming, so. If that were true, it would be on me.

[Dante]

All right, well, I feel bad for dropping and interrupting.

[Francis]

Are you.

[Dante]

Are you free at like 3:30 to film something with us?

[Francis]

Yeah, sure. All right. What's. What are you guys doing Friday night?

[Dante]

Pints with Kdick and.

[Francis]

Oh, cool. That's. That's a great show.

[Dante]

Yeah. We need you for like 10 minutes.

[Francis]

Okay, sure thing.

[Dante]

All right, thanks.

[Kyle]

Are you going on the stool visa trip?

[Dante]

The what?

[Brandon Walker]

Stool visa, Kyle.

[Dante]

Talking stool Ibiza.

[Brandon Walker]

Stool visa.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dante]

Oh, yeah. Is this another, I think like made up thing or.

[Brandon Walker]

We were doing the Donnie.

[Francis]

No.

[Kyle]

Did you get invited?

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Did you? Actually I just did.

[Kyle]

No, you didn't.

[Francis]

You just invited.

[Kyle]

You're actually not on the list.

[Francis]

Hey, Rizzo says hi. I know.

[Dante]

I saw you guys were hanging out at your buddy's. Shane Gillis's?

[Francis]

Yeah. He says hi. He said he was coming to. He was going to see you. Yeah.

[Dante]

So I'm like. He was in Chicago like the next day.

[Francis]

Cool.

[Dante]

How was it?

[Francis]

That was awesome.

[Dante]

Yeah, he's good dude, isn't he?

[Francis]

I love him. Every time I hang out with him, it's like we just fall right back into the last.

[Dante]

He had a Lot of questions about Roan. For some reason he did. Yeah, like, not like we, not like weird ones. He was just like very intrigued by him. And he had no idea who Sass was. So you did a bad job introducing him.

[Francis]

I don't think Sass was around.

[Dante]

He was in the picture with you guys.

[Francis]

That. I don't. I don't know how that picture happened. Okay? That picture is insane.

[Dante]

Why?

[Francis]

Well, because it was like Shane Aaron Judge and Anthony Rizzo taking a photo together. And then how the fuck did we get added to that? That doesn't make any sense. Why would they ever. They. It's not like they. The three of them were like taking photos with people.

[Kyle]

Well, what happened?

[Francis]

I don't know. I don't know, but that's a crazy picture. You have the craziest picture.

[Dante]

You're freaking me out now.

[Francis]

Why?

[Dante]

Look at this guy staring at me.

[Brandon Walker]

Well, you came in here.

[Dante]

That's the look you gave me yesterday.

[Brandon Walker]

On Brandon's show and called him a charity case.

[Danny]

I don't think a dirty look translates to a charity case.

[Big Cat]

What in the world makes me a charity case?

[Kyle]

You said that.

[Dante]

I don't know. It's the first thing that came to mind.

[Francis]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Why?

[Dante]

Sorry.

[Francis]

You're.

[Dante]

You're making me. You're making me feel bad now.

[Big Cat]

Good.

[Dante]

And I don't want to feel bad.

[Big Cat]

I'm holding everything back.

[Dante]

Let it. Let it loose. Tell me how you really feel. Cuz I feel like you said it with your eyes yesterday.

[Big Cat]

I was eating lunch. Dante.

[Dante]

You were walk. You weren't walking and eating. You were walking by me.

[Kyle]

I was like.

[Dante]

Hey.

[Ed]

I was walking.

[Dante]

Like, looked at me.

[Big Cat]

It was between. Mostly in the.

[Dante]

All right. I did something to him. I don't know what.

[Big Cat]

I didn't notice. I. I didn't hear you say it. I just. I was just walking. I had tunnel vision. I was walking to where I was going. I. I didn't see you. I didn't hear you.

[Dante]

It was you and I the only.

[Big Cat]

People, but I didn't hear you.

[Francis]

Okay. All right.

[Dante]

I just thought I was on your bad side. Some days you're. Some days you're in a mood.

[Big Cat]

Charity case.

[Danny]

You really did it this time.

[Dante]

Don't.

[Danny]

I didn't do anything.

[Dante]

This is your fault.

[Danny]

Can you share with us one of the stories that you wanted to share with Francis?

[Francis]

No, I don't want him to talk to me. I'm with Brandon.

[Danny]

Can you tell Kate it then? Can you tell to Kate?

[Kate]

I'm too afraid of Brandon and Francis. Not liking me.

[Danny]

You decided you were pissed that Francis didn't contact you for stories about the book. What's one of those?

[Dante]

Oh, I just said. I was like, yeah, when you're, like, talking about the early days stuff, he's wondering, let me know. He's like, oh, it's done. The book's done.

[Danny]

Well, surely you had a story to tell him if you got that mad about it.

[Dante]

No, I was just like, how do you not talk to people from, like, the, like, early, early days? He was like, oh, I did. I talked to Gaz. It's like, oh, great. That's gonna be.

[Danny]

Well, maybe he made the right decision, considering you have no stories.

[Dante]

Well, there was some. There was some quote in there about me that I can only imagine in my copy. Yeah. Remember, you're gonna read it to me, and then you said you weren't going to. I had to wait.

[Francis]

Well, whatever. That's gone now. I can find that, though.

[Brandon Walker]

Do you think Dave has written about you?

[Dante]

Can you not read it on air?

[Francis]

Why wouldn't you let me have to. I don't think it's bad.

[Dante]

Oh, you. You were laughing your ass off in New York.

[Francis]

Was I?

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Still doesn't mean it's bad.

[Brandon Walker]

Could just be funny.

[Francis]

I'll look for that and I'll tell you. All right, But I thought. I mean, you.

[Big Cat]

You.

[Francis]

I had a. I had a pretty. You. I think that it was Zolo who pitched the idea that they get rid of all of the Live Axe and just hire you for the whole Blackout tour, Right? Yeah, you did. You also. Were you also part of that pitch? No. Oh, but you were DJing at the time. How did you know them?

[Dante]

Dude, I, like, started Barstool Chicago. I was like, out here, boots on the ground.

[Big Cat]

Get a sneak peek at the newest.

[Dante]

Dave hired this guy Neil. Dave hired this guy Neil, who was from Providence, flew him out to Chicago and was like, make this guy, like, our Chicago guy and don't tell anybody. He's not from there. So I was like, okay. It didn't help that he wasn't that funny, but.

[Francis]

How did you know Dave?

[Dante]

I met him at a. At South Station in Boston when he.

[Francis]

Was handing out the newspaper, he was.

[Dante]

Filling up a newspaper rack, and I was like, I read this every time I come home and I take the train to Worcester. I was like, I fucking love it. And he. I was like, you got to bring it to Chicago. He was like, you're in Chicago and you know what barstool is? That's unbelievable. So we Started, like, emailing back and forth, and Denny was like, I want to do. He was like, I found this rapper who's going to be huge. I want to bring him on tour. Can you. Do you know anything about throwing concerts? I was like, oh, yeah, I know how to do that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dante]

So we started Stool Palooza.

[Francis]

This is cool. This is a cool story.

[Dante]

Then we did another Stool Palooza with Mike Posner.

[Francis]

No, that was back to stool.

[Dante]

Yes. Yeah, you're right.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dante]

And Chitty Bang. That was the whole Chitty Bang thing.

[Francis]

And. And then that White Panda.

[Dante]

Yeah. And that was, like, the only thing that was making us money back then were these, like, live shows. We did a lot of watch parties back then, too. It like Hurricane O'Reilly's and greatest bar.

[Brandon Walker]

So you're very important to why we're all here, right?

[Francis]

Yes.

[Brandon Walker]

Are you the reason I live in Chicago?

[Kyle]

You started this.

[Francis]

I didn't know you were so instrumental in starting Marshall Chicago. I didn't know that.

[Dante]

Yeah, I did all of Big Cat's videos. Those horrible, horrible videos back then that were like. Yes, like Blair Witch Project. I did all of that. Wnba. Yeah, we did also. We did a hundred videos that never saw the light of day because Dan was like, cringe after that were hilarious. That if we could dig up today and find would be.

[Brandon Walker]

What's an example of one?

[Dante]

We did one. It wasn't a wet T shirt contest, but it was some, like, shorts. Tit contestant Dan, like, entered. I saw pictures of it. He had this, like, tight pink shirt that said, like, big titty committee on it. It was so good. He did an e. He did a eating contest.

[Big Cat]

What was it?

[Ed]

Tater Tots.

[Brandon Walker]

What's Tater?

[Dante]

That was one. That was one of them.

[Ed]

Okay.

[Brandon Walker]

Is that a teddy competition, Ed?

[Dante]

I don't know. Ed was around for a lot of these, too, because Ed was like an internal.

[Ed]

Yeah. It was like a tater tot eating contest. And it was like. I remember the pictures came with the video. I don't think ever came out.

[Dante]

Ed knows all the stuff, too, because Ed was around so long ago.

[Ed]

Dude.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Well, it's awesome. I mean, I love that stuff. I think that's the stuff.

[Dante]

Probably great. Proud. Would have been great for a history book. But you had.

[Francis]

If only. If only that were what I had been writing.

[Ed]

We.

[Dante]

You know what? We can do the unauthorized.

[Francis]

Okay.

[Dante]

Version.

[Francis]

I'm sure that'll go over well.

[Dante]

I was gonna. I was gonna read an audio book version of it and tell, like, the real stories.

[Brandon Walker]

That.

[Dante]

That was like my plan.

[Francis]

Sort of like a DVD commentary. Yeah, that's cool.

[Dante]

That was my plan.

[Francis]

I like that.

[Dante]

Forget who gave me that idea. Jack Mack, I think, gave me that idea.

[Francis]

Yeah, well, listen, you can't be mad at me anymore. I'm barely part of this thing.

[Dante]

I'm mad about the dinner thing.

[Francis]

Oh, I don't know what to tell you about that. You come to New York, you don't tell me you're coming.

[Dante]

I do.

[Francis]

No, you don't. Yes, I do. You just show up in the office and I can't make a reservation. This is a 50 50. Failure of friendship.

[Brandon Walker]

Now's the time and place to hash this out, too.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Let'S move on. I'll talk to you after. I'll come to your show and we'll talk about dinner tonight. All right.

[Dante]

Sorry for crashing. Brandon, I'm. I feel bad. I genuinely feel bad for what I said. I'm sorry. I don't know. I shouldn't feel bad because you say a lot worse things.

[Big Cat]

Such as?

[Francis]

You're not very good at completing an apology.

[Big Cat]

Right. Name one thing I've ever said about you.

[Danny]

Ever put the timer up, teach.

[Big Cat]

Ever.

[Dante]

Danny. Danny, give me something.

[Danny]

I don't know. You might be on your own for this one.

[Big Cat]

You and I have never neither come together or clashed. Why?

[Dante]

I don't know why.

[Big Cat]

A charity case.

[Dante]

There was something like a year or two ago. I wrote a blog, a rebuttal blog.

[Big Cat]

And you and I shook hands.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And I'm a charity case.

[Dante]

Poor choice of words. I take that back. I'm sorry.

[Danny]

You wouldn't be here without him.

[Brandon Walker]

Though, technically, you owe him everything.

[Dante]

I never said that.

[Brandon Walker]

Have you thought it?

[Francis]

I kind of. And I'm saying this genuinely, I think you're the farthest thing from a charity.

[Big Cat]

Well, thank you. I don't need that. But I do need him.

[Francis]

You're like a. You're like a. You're like a leading guy. You're like a pillar.

[Big Cat]

I'm not a pillar. Yeah, you are.

[Ed]

No, no, I'm.

[Big Cat]

Don't. That's not the point. Right.

[Brandon Walker]

You're a pillar.

[Big Cat]

No, I'm not a pillar.

[Brandon Walker]

You don't think you're a pillar?

[Big Cat]

No, I'm not.

[Dante]

You're self made. You're self made. You're not a cherry case. You're self made. All right, I will give you that.

[Big Cat]

All right. Thank you, Dante. Thank you for being here.

[Brandon Walker]

A pillar.

[Big Cat]

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[Francis]

Boy, the energy in here. Is this what happens, this show?

[Brandon Walker]

Not really.

[Francis]

Big cat goes away, and it's just.

[Big Cat]

It was good energy.

[Brandon Walker]

That was a hijacking.

[Big Cat]

I don't know what that was.

[Francis]

That was crazy.

[Danny]

To make you feel better, have you seen the video of Dante getting pranked by security?

[Big Cat]

Oh, I think he was. He came in mad at you, and I was sitting beside you.

[Brandon Walker]

Reach out and grab you.

[Francis]

Sir.

[Brandon Walker]

Spread your legs open.

[Francis]

Dude, you're giving me a hard time. You're not.

[Big Cat]

You're not gonna.

[Francis]

Don't give me a hard time.

[Kate]

Hey, he dropped his.

[Big Cat]

That's ridiculous. Grab his wallet.

[Francis]

Do you mind if I search you?

[Brandon Walker]

Take your shoes off.

[Ed]

Take your.

[Big Cat]

Stop it.

[Brandon Walker]

Stop it.

[Dante]

You guys pay her to do this.

[Francis]

Good.

[Big Cat]

All right, Jackson, get on the ground. Get off the ground.

[Francis]

Best moment of my life.

[Big Cat]

Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Ed]

Awesome.

[Dante]

I like that.

[Danny]

We'll have to pull a prank on Brandon.

[Big Cat]

No, it's all good.

[Brandon Walker]

Charity case.

[Kate]

Charity case.

[Big Cat]

No, that's not.

[Danny]

That's not an insult you just throw around.

[Big Cat]

No, that one came in loaded.

[Kate]

Yeah, from deep in the heart.

[Big Cat]

Again. I think he was mad at you, and I was just sitting beside you. I don't know.

[Brandon Walker]

That happens to you a lot.

[Big Cat]

It does? Yeah, it does. Somebody comes and they're a shrapnel guy. They feel like they got to shoot a gun here in the yak, and they. They always aim it at me.

[Francis]

I'm caught in the crossfire, and. You don't understand.

[Big Cat]

No, I don't.

[Francis]

But there's one thing you know, for sure.

[Big Cat]

What's that?

[Francis]

Poor man want to be rich. Rich man want to be king. The king ain't satisfied until he rules everything.

[Big Cat]

What's he doing?

[Brandon Walker]

It's a lyric.

[Francis]

I'd imagine Bruce Springsteen.

[Ed]

Oh, I don't see Elliot.

[Brandon Walker]

I thought it was Missy as well.

[Francis]

Nobody knows that song.

[Dante]

I don't.

[Francis]

Come on now.

[Big Cat]

I don't know much Bruce Springsteen. I never got into him.

[Francis]

Badlands.

[Big Cat]

I know more Missy Elliott than I do Bruce.

[Ed]

I think a lot of your problems come from just people don't realize it. They're. They're just not. You know when you're eating your chick fil A you're not going to say hello.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I do. I. When I come out of mostly and before I go into yak, I kind of do get into a. Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

I don't get having to say hi to the same person.

[Big Cat]

I don't either.

[Brandon Walker]

Nick and I pass them the stairs.

[Dante]

Hi.

[Brandon Walker]

I forget something. Pass them again. Hi again.

[Kyle]

You're so ubiquitous. You're invisible, all of you to me.

[Big Cat]

Sure.

[Francis]

That's comforting for them. Cal, hit the emom workout really quick.

[Kyle]

Hit the what?

[Francis]

Show us the burpees.

[Kyle]

I'm not do the. You do it first.

[Francis]

No, I'm not gonna. I could never. Kyle whipped my ass in the pull ups last a couple weeks ago.

[Big Cat]

How many can you do?

[Francis]

I mean he did. I did 18. He did like 22 or something.

[Big Cat]

18 is crazy.

[Kyle]

It's crazy small man's game.

[Brandon Walker]

Like short arms thing.

[Kyle]

Smaller dudes can do way more pull ups.

[Brandon Walker]

You don't give yourself enough credit for.

[Kyle]

And I know mass. I'm so strong.

[Francis]

Did you. Did you ever think about. And I. I don't mean that like. Did you ever think about gymnastics?

[Kyle]

No, because I was never flexible. I was always like.

[Francis]

You would have been so good at gymnastics.

[Kyle]

I was so tight and unflexible that it was almost an asset for me.

[Big Cat]

Aren't those guys all upper body though?

[Kyle]

Like they have the best builds.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. In athletics because they're tiny waist and then it all goes up and out and they just. They can do everything with their arms. Yeah.

[Kyle]

I respect that game. But now I'm afraid to flip that.

[Francis]

A weird thing that those guys. I don't think they do they lift in addition to the sport they got to right. Or do they just train in the.

[Kyle]

Sport they absolutely left.

[Francis]

Okay. Because they're. All of them have those biceps that are just. Just like orange slices.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Well their shoulders also come out.

[Francis]

Shoulders are insane.

[Kyle]

Five, four.

[Big Cat]

But the women do. Women's gymnastics and men's gymnastics are completely different sports because the men's gymnastics is upper body based and women's is not. Right. Like rings is upper body base so the women don't do it.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

The parallel bars is upper body base, so women don't do it.

[Francis]

But they do the uneven bars. That's upper body.

[Big Cat]

That's. That's more swinging than it is holding yourself up. Right.

[Francis]

Maybe true.

[Big Cat]

I always did want to try the back in one in my athletic days. I wanted to just. I want to just get up on those uneven bars and see what would happen. Probably nothing.

[Kate]

Maybe imagine probably death after the 96 Olympics. I tried it on our clothesline. Chip my front tooth. Yeah, I was trying to.

[Big Cat]

On your clothesline.

[Kate]

I was trying to flip from metal part of metal barn.

[Big Cat]

Still, of all those things, I think the most impressive is probably the men on the rings holding themselves up. But the pommel horse is also very crazy.

[Brandon Walker]

That blows my mind.

[Kate]

Wasn't there, like, a superstar, the pommel horse last time? A dude.

[Brandon Walker]

Stephen Nederozic.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah. People went crazy for that guy.

[Brandon Walker]

Did the glasses.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Dancing with the Stars.

[Kate]

And now it's the quad. God.

[Che]

What Olympian or celebrity or athlete has.

[Brandon Walker]

The ideal male body?

[Big Cat]

Oh, good question.

[Francis]

It's Adrian Peterson over DK Metcalf. Yeah, I'm gonna go Peterson. Huh? Who's that?

[Kate]

The basketball player who just got the leg lotion ad.

[Brandon Walker]

Kevin Durant.

[Kate]

And the legs go on forever. That's a joke, right?

[Brandon Walker]

Yes.

[Kate]

Okay. Because I panicked at first. It made me, like, upset.

[Danny]

Would that be your ideal male body?

[Kate]

No, but I just wanted to double check.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, that was a cheeky ad.

[Francis]

Ronaldo's got pretty sick body.

[Ed]

Only, I mean, Gosling and crazy stupid love. I was.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, you liked that. It wasn't too pronounced. Over Pitt and Troy.

[Ed]

Pitt and Troy.

[Brandon Walker]

Pitt and Troy.

[Ed]

Impressive.

[Francis]

I'll take Pitt and Fight Club.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I think that that leaner build is way more impressive and sexy.

[Francis]

That's what I'm going for.

[Big Cat]

It's the last time y' all really looked at Victor Wembanyama.

[Kyle]

I forgot about him.

[Big Cat]

Just looked at him.

[Brandon Walker]

I did forget about him.

[Big Cat]

He just hit that thing, that body.

[Ed]

It's crazy.

[Big Cat]

It doesn't.

[Kate]

What sport?

[Big Cat]

Basketball? 7. He's 7 6. He's the new superstar. And he just can. He can dunk effortlessly. And he just. He'll just reach for a rebound or something and it'll be. Is this him?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

That's crazy.

[Dante]

He's, like, way more flexible.

[Brandon Walker]

Big man. Has ever been.

[Big Cat]

He has the movement of a small guard, but he's seven foot six.

[Kate]

See, that freaks me out a little bit.

[Big Cat]

He's seven six, doesn't he?

[Brandon Walker]

Like in the offseason, go train with monks.

[Big Cat]

Oh, I don't know. Does he?

[Brandon Walker]

I think so.

[Danny]

Yes. Master Goo.

[Big Cat]

Look at that.

[Ed]

Look at the foot.

[Kate]

Jay, he's got your hair.

[Che]

Scored 40 points in, like, 25 minutes the other night.

[Brandon Walker]

But that's not the ideal male body.

[Francis]

No, no, no.

[Big Cat]

I didn't deny.

[Francis]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

I was actually going away. It's. He has probably the antithesis of the ideal male body.

[Francis]

Agreed.

[Big Cat]

Because, I mean, his body's A, gonna betray him and B, is just freaky. But he's also, like, incredible.

[Ed]

Sick.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's fucking sick. I liked Adrian Peters. I think an NFL running back might have the best body.

[Francis]

Have you seen him shirtless?

[Big Cat]

Dude.

[Francis]

But.

[Big Cat]

But NFL cornerbacks also have great bodies.

[Francis]

They do.

[Ed]

Look at.

[Francis]

Can you pull up Adrian Peterson shirtless?

[Kate]

I like a thick upper leg.

[Big Cat]

Oh, those are running backs somewhere.

[Kate]

If I'm stuck under a car, I know he can lift it off.

[Big Cat]

Who are the quad guys in. In. Oh, Saquon's a quad guy. Right?

[Francis]

Go down. No, that's not my favorite one. One go down. Yeah. Like when he was.

[Big Cat]

That the body issue?

[Francis]

Yeah. He was in the bot go to all the way.

[Dante]

Right?

[Francis]

Yeah. Look at this one. You gotta be kidding. Oh, my.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Imagine how fast he could swing a stick.

[Ed]

Best college running back I ever seen.

[Francis]

That's a fair. That's.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, that's a fair claim.

[Big Cat]

Truly.

[Brandon Walker]

Usually people say that for somebody who didn't make it in the league.

[Ed]

Yeah. No, he's. He's the best.

[Kate]

Do you think it bums people like that out that they have to wear clothes? Like, I gotta walk through the airport with a shirt on with nobody here knowing I got that going on.

[Brandon Walker]

Francis, do you like opportunities to pop the top?

[Francis]

No, I'm too pale. I think that. I think that a guy like this can wear clothes that let everyone know.

[Kate]

You still know. Yeah.

[Francis]

They can wear, like, a tank in a cool, fashionable way.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. They have access to the best clothes that show off their body.

[Kyle]

Access. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Or the confidence. How about that?

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Cj, show me Pit and Troy real quick. I think it's maybe because he's shiny too.

[Big Cat]

Mike Trout's got a shockingly good body.

[Brandon Walker]

Does he?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I think Mike Trout's carrying around a good one.

[Kate]

See, I like a baseball.

[Kyle]

Come on.

[Francis]

Who's that?

[Brandon Walker]

That's Pitt and Troy, you're right.

[Kyle]

Why did I doubt you when it comes to this?

[Brandon Walker]

Kind of.

[Kyle]

Why did I doubt when it comes to this? This is your wheel, Al.

[Kate]

My goodness gracious.

[Big Cat]

Roback Activewear. Best fit, best feel. You all know Roback. Best hoodies and joggers in the game. But what you may not know is best pants in the game, too. The Roback Delta pants are incredible. A really great fabric and fit for every day. They really have a nice stretch waistband for when those lbs keep stacking on. Find us pairing Robacks fulton vest with these pants to complete the fit. The vest is perfect for winter months. Has nice zipper pockets and stretched side panels so it's still comfortable and easy to move it. Use code Yak for 20% off your first purchase. That's 20% off all pants, joggers, vests, and more. Use code Yak. Head over to roback.com r h o b a c k dot com. Francis I really meant that. Ever since I've been here, I've always wanted to take some Barstow employees to Mississippi and show them the culture and the life and what it's like down there. I think you would be actually perfect for that.

[Francis]

I would love that. I was close to spending two years of my life after college there, where I applied for Teach for America.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And the Mississippi Delta is their highest need area.

[Big Cat]

It's the poorest area in the country. Yeah.

[Francis]

And they. I got wait listed and they said that if I were willing to expand my geographical preferences to include the Delta, they would hire me. But I. I wasn't.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's. I haven't even spent much time over there.

[Francis]

That's pretty bad, right?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. These guys. That's where y' all went?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

I liked. I thought it was pretty.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That's where you went to school?

[Big Cat]

No, no, no. For their. Memphis.

[Brandon Walker]

Memphis, right down in the Delta.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

I applied to work for the Oscar Mayer Wiener mobile after. After high school. Take a year off.

[Francis]

Didn't.

[Brandon Walker]

Didn't get it.

[Big Cat]

Damn.

[Brandon Walker]

And then I did the peep mobile, which. They have a mobile. And I didn't get that.

[Kyle]

You failed that?

[Brandon Walker]

I failed the fucking exam.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Dude. I didn't know there was a peak mobile.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, it was pretty awesome. I want a T shirt on there.

[Dante]

There.

[Brandon Walker]

It was a big bus.

[Kate]

40 different national parks jobs. I never got one.

[Big Cat]

You went over 40.

[Kate]

That was like. My dream was to be a park ranger. I applied, like, all across the U.S.

[Danny]

Now you're stuck here.

[Kate]

Got it. Now I'm stuck here. So I'll get some ice cream.

[Big Cat]

You think you would have been a good park ranger?

[Kate]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

But Kate, if somebody's doing something illegal on parkland, you just would go up to him and apologize to him?

[Kate]

Yeah, I don't think so because I think I'd have kind of a hard on for the park.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Kate]

I think I would.

[Big Cat]

Like, it's all about the park and.

[Kate]

I love showing people stuff I like.

[Big Cat]

You are a good. You are a good shower.

[Kate]

Love showing people stuff.

[Brandon Walker]

Were you a gap year guy, Francis, after college?

[Francis]

No.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Brandon Walker]

You went right to the workforce.

[Francis]

Well, I mean, who took gap years after college?

[Brandon Walker]

That when you do it? Or is it between high school? High school?

[Francis]

Between high school? No, no, I went straight.

[Kate]

Did any of you? I should have.

[Brandon Walker]

I fantasized about it. Never did.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

No segue there, I guess.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Francis]

All right.

[Brandon Walker]

We're trying really bad. You all right?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Che, how is the hair? Been holding up in Chicago.

[Big Cat]

Don't go that way, Kyle. Bathroom's out of order.

[Brandon Walker]

Bathroom's out of order.

[Kate]

Women's too. Did you see the video?

[Big Cat]

Out of order on the floor, gurgling on the floor.

[Kate]

It's coming out of the ground like a bubbling geyser.

[Danny]

It looks like upside down.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

We got back and there's flies flying.

[Brandon Walker]

All around it in the women's.

[Kate]

According to White Boy Rick, the women's is closed as well. So I haven't looked in there, but I would assume.

[Big Cat]

I don't know, it's like this building has toilet problems. And.

[Brandon Walker]

And every time you walk in the bathroom, it'll wreak.

[Big Cat]

We kind of shame people. When we first got here and it happened, we were like, oh, this person did it. But this building just has toilet problems. Yeah.

[Danny]

This is coming from the drain on the floor.

[Big Cat]

This come from like all the pipes.

[Kate]

That one up there, the women's up there.

[Brandon Walker]

But like, there were bathroom issues in New York. I just don't. I think bars to employee shits are different.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're right.

[Brandon Walker]

Yeah, we're shitting layman or having those.

[Kate]

Post San Francisco long boots right now.

[Big Cat]

Listen, this is the shit in this company I've ever worked at. You go into a bathroom any time of day. There's multiple guys.

[Brandon Walker]

I've never not seen feet.

[Big Cat]

Never. Remember, there's not that many fucking people here.

[Kate]

Oh, in New York, there was somebody who kept putting boogers on the urinal.

[Francis]

Yeah, gross. I saw somebody. I was in the toilet and there was someone sitting next to me. And they finished and then they started wiping and When I say that this person used like 30 separate handfuls of toilet paper, right? Handful wipe. I could hear the wipe. Pull, pull, pull, wipe. Pull, pull, pull, wipe. It was manic, it was compulsive and it had to have rendered their butthole bloody. It's Kyle and raw.

[Brandon Walker]

It's Kyle every time. Kyle's the loudest wiper I've ever heard in my life. But dude, you could hear him wiping through the closed doors.

[Danny]

He do.

[Brandon Walker]

Yes.

[Francis]

30.

[Brandon Walker]

Yes. His asshole is all scar tissue.

[Francis]

It was like as if somebody like out, out dark spot. Like Lady Macbeth constantly washing her hands to wash the blood off her hands.

[Ed]

Have you never taken a peanut butter? Shit.

[Big Cat]

Oh boy. Oh, what?

[Brandon Walker]

The ones that never end the muck.

[Francis]

I know those as magic markers.

[Ed]

Yeah, peanut butters.

[Francis]

Oh, man. But this was so far beyond that, dude. This was like a. It was like somebody who leaves the house and has to turn the light off and on and latch the door like 40 times. That's what it was like.

[Ed]

There's a true life on.

[Francis]

There was a true life on that. Exactly.

[Big Cat]

You ever seen a Jon Hamm pussy?

[Francis]

No. What's that?

[Brandon Walker]

Like a perfect pussy.

[Big Cat]

Handsome pussy. It's a good looking pussy.

[Francis]

Now that's something I'd eat at work.

[Brandon Walker]

John Ham pussy.

[Francis]

Why didn't you start with that?

[Brandon Walker]

Does the New York office bathroom still have the ever running urinal?

[Francis]

They fixed it.

[Brandon Walker]

Wow, that was like three years.

[Francis]

Yeah, they did. They did fix it. Yeah. New York office. I feel like. Did you see the clip that Dave was talking about? The. When the lease runs out?

[Big Cat]

No.

[Francis]

I guess we must be getting kind of close. I don't know. I would think it's still probably a couple more years. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

When they move in at 19, right? Y' all moved into that right before I moved to New York.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

So what was that, a 10 year. Yeah, years left.

[Francis]

I think it's a 12 year lease. Oh, I could be wrong about that.

[Brandon Walker]

What was what? What did he say?

[Francis]

They were like, are you good? Some TMZ type person, it seemed like was like, what are you gonna do in the New York office runs out?

[Brandon Walker]

Which is like any chance of that moving? You gonna keep it there or.

[Dante]

I would say it moves.

[Brandon Walker]

There's a lot of people in there.

[Dante]

I don't know what we'll do when.

[Francis]

The lease is up.

[Kate]

Do you think there'll always be a.

[Kyle]

New York hub for bars?

[Big Cat]

No, not necessarily.

[Sponsor Voice]

No.

[Francis]

No.

[Dante]

The.

[Brandon Walker]

The Netflix deal. How are you? I think that was kind of a non answer.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I was. Did you Guys, see, when they asked. Somebody asked him, why don't you? Why aren't you with your girlfriend in public more? And he said, all of my employees suck. That was his answer.

[Brandon Walker]

What was that?

[Big Cat]

I don't bring her around because of all the creatures that work for me. All my employees are terrible people and lucky to be here, and that's why I don't bring her around. And he was right. And I thought that was the most honest answer you can have.

[Ed]

I feel honored that I went to dinner with them then.

[Kyle]

Damn.

[Brandon Walker]

Damn, you did.

[Ed]

I shouldn't have been there then. So I'm a creature.

[Big Cat]

I think we're all creatures.

[Brandon Walker]

Oh, yeah. New York was the most eye opening. Feeling good in the office and then leaving and walking around with New York, you felt. Yeah, you felt like a troll. Like a slug.

[Big Cat]

The yo yos and idiots that he willingly employs. What do you think? Are we more yo yos or idiots?

[Brandon Walker]

I think we're yo yos.

[Big Cat]

We're yo yos, Kate. You're. You're. You're an idiot. Okay.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

Zah and Aryan and a million dollars worth of game guys might be yo yos. I think we're idiots.

[Francis]

We're idiots.

[Kyle]

Yeah, we're the idiots.

[Kate]

Slow burn. But I.

[Big Cat]

All right, y'. All. Spin the wheel. Yeah, spin the wheel.

[Kate]

It's been a long called the football season, you know, me and sports. It's exhausting, you know, I feel you. I feel like everybody has. The football season's over now.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Dante]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

We're limping to the finish.

[Kate]

Yes, we're. I feel like we're kind of limping.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon Walker]

A little bit older.

[Kyle]

Mere.

[Big Cat]

Well, Dan's out having his post football vacation.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Titus, I believe, is recharging the batteries a little bit too nice.

[Brandon Walker]

Are you taking a trip?

[Big Cat]

No, I got a couple of trips coming up in April that I got to go down and take my daughter college hunting.

[Brandon Walker]

Well, she's going Ole Miss, right?

[Big Cat]

Mississippi State, probably, but that's what we're gonna start. But we're gonna take it. Well, she's gonna go look at Auburn. She's gonna go look at a couple other places.

[Brandon Walker]

Really?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. So I'm gonna let her.

[Brandon Walker]

You're fine with another sec?

[Big Cat]

As long as it's not Ole Miss. Yeah. Okay. If she wants to go to Alabama or Auburn, I would.

[Brandon Walker]

What if Ole Miss did something funny and was like. Like, full ride, everything she. You would put. You would say no, Nil. You would say no.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I'd say no to that, but yeah. I got a couple trips coming up in April where I got to go down there and do stuff.

[Brandon Walker]

You'd be fine with Tennessee?

[Big Cat]

Tennessee be fine. Yeah. Tennessee's a beautiful place. Knoxville's a great town.

[Brandon Walker]

I love Knoxville.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Knoxville's a great town. All right, TJ Spin the wheel. All right. Thank you, Francis.

[Francis]

Thank you.

[Big Cat]

And he's gonna be in Batavia all week. But you can't buy a ticket. That's. That's.

[Francis]

Shop is the act.

[Big Cat]

It's the actual.

[Dante]

Love, you guys.

[Brandon Walker]

She tomorrow bite.