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Brandon Walker
Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple, podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
Marshall
Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops, timeouts, overtime and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.
Big Cat
Keep up. It's golf.
Marshall
Tune in to every match, only on espn. Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, camera drops, timeouts, overtime, and playoffs. It's city versus city, city squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.
Big Cat
Keep up. It's golf.
Marshall
Tune in to every match, only on espn.
Brandon Walker
I'm the coolest one out of all of us.
Big Cat
That was incredible.
Brandon Walker
Hello.
Big Cat
It's the Yak. Where the Is everyone? Oh, okay. Well, we have our free lunch day on Tuesdays.
Marshall
That's right.
Connor Griffin
Here comes Brandon.
Big Cat
Here comes Brandon. Here comes big Customer. West Point, Mississippi.
Connor Griffin
What are those shoes?
Big Cat
Six, six, 250 pounds.
Brandon Walker
Those have, like, the mouse track balls in them. Interesting.
Connor Griffin
Those look like the.
Eddie
I got some new shoes.
Connor Griffin
Is it the Penny Hardaways that had, like, the big bubbles? They're pretty cool. It's like a knockoff.
Big Cat
Yeah, the Matrix 5000 Neo. Looks like you'd wear those.
Eddie
Well, they're Air Maxes. They're, they're good shoes. I don't know why we're making. They got the bubbles in them, though.
Big Cat
Too many bubbles.
Kyle
The bubbles are cool.
Eddie
Yeah, thanks. Also, I'm wearing new shoes. Hello.
Brandon Walker
Just plain white socks, though.
Eddie
Yeah, I did go white socks today. I think that's, I, I brought fancy socks, but I, I, I did a workout, so I didn't, I didn't put the fancy socks on.
Brandon Walker
That makes perfect sense.
Eddie
They're bubbled, right?
Jay
Bubbled up?
Eddie
Yeah, I'm bubbled up.
Connor Griffin
You get a little bounce.
Eddie
The little bounce. Not a lot of bounce. I'm not going to try to bounce on them, but if I Needed the bounce. I have it.
Big Cat
You do tricks on it.
Eddie
Would you like to touch them, Kyle?
Big Cat
Touch them. They're fun. Okay, you can do some tricks on it.
Eddie
I. I could. They're just standard shoes that they're really. They don't require the show to come to a halt.
Titus
Speaking of tricks on it, you passed me by. I couldn't help but notice there's come all over your ass again.
Eddie
These are my come pants.
Titus
But it was a different spot this time.
Eddie
It's not a difference.
Titus
I think it's different.
Brandon Walker
How set it in. Is that stain?
Eddie
I don't know. I washed them.
Big Cat
Let me see.
Eddie
I think it's hair gel. I don't know, but it won't I wash. Could we not. What?
Brandon Walker
Don't. Not this.
Big Cat
Oh, man, that you. Why, though?
Titus
Nickelodeon logo just come like.
Eddie
I. I love these paints.
Brandon Walker
Also, you stood up and a silica gel pack fell out of your ass.
Marshall
Keeping it fresh.
Eddie
Stand up.
Brandon Walker
There's a silica gel pack it fell out of.
Big Cat
Are you making beef jerky in your pockets?
Eddie
Why?
Brandon Walker
Is there too much moisture in your ass crack?
Marshall
Kate.
Eddie
Kate's here. Hey, Kate.
Kate
You know, a little bit of lemon juice and Don gets come right out.
Brandon Walker
No kidding.
Eddie
Really?
Big Cat
Yeah.
Titus
I don't know about this stain, though.
Big Cat
Yeah, this stain set in show the audience. Right?
Kyle
It does it, actually, because I'm curious.
Kate
Yeah, yeah, the acid.
Eddie
You know, Google how to get calm out before.
Kate
No, I've never tried to get it out.
Big Cat
Right. Just wear white. Try to get it in.
Kate
All right, ladies.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Eddie
Why are you laughing like Peter Griffin?
Kyle
Today's free lunch. Well, I didn't get to see it.
Jay
What is it?
Eddie
Pasta.
Big Cat
Oh, thanks for telling us that you don't eat the free lunch.
Kyle
I don't know.
Big Cat
Yeah, it was pasta.
Kate
This was so good.
Big Cat
It was very good.
Kate
So good.
Big Cat
Pasta la vista or something.
Eddie
I. I'd be forgetting, though, because I did get my Chick Fil A. Yeah.
Big Cat
Tuesdays. Tuesdays until the rest of time.
Brandon Walker
I ordered a salad and I'm the dumbest guy on Earth because. No, because it said marked as delivered. And I looked at the picture. I was like, oh, they must have delivered it across the street. And so I was walking around outside with the security guard around the block looking for a white door, and he was like, show me the picture. And I looked at it. There's just like a watermark on it. It is just a screenshot of somebody's computer. There's a watermark across the bag.
Big Cat
Oh, wait. Sweet.
Kyle
He played you.
Marshall
Played me?
Connor Griffin
Played you Hard dudes who do that.
Kyle
Get like, get away with that, I guess.
Kate
What do they do with it?
Big Cat
Why the do they want to get the tip?
Brandon Walker
I don't follow up. I got my money back.
Big Cat
Oh, okay.
Titus
Yeah, you get your money back. But do they get penalized?
Brandon Walker
I don't think.
Jay
Right. Yeah.
Connor Griffin
That can't be a lucrative three dollar tip.
Brandon Walker
And then they're picked.
Eddie
And a salad.
Jay
But I get.
Connor Griffin
They get the salad. They do get the free salad.
Brandon Walker
That's nice.
Eddie
$3 for eating free lunch.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Kyle
And then they do. They lose their job.
Brandon Walker
I think they probably just sign up for Door dash or grubhub, which is like a different identity.
Big Cat
They hop around. Yeah. I bet you they do hit. Every now and then they'll hit someone who just doesn't complain.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, yeah.
Big Cat
It's like sometimes I'll order food and just. And be like, if it doesn't come. That's probably not the worst thing because I probably shouldn't have ordered this.
Kyle
People who order delivery probably don't care as much about money.
Big Cat
Well, not even that. It's just like there's sometimes I'll do an order and I'll be like, yeah, I probably shouldn't be eating this for lunch. So if it doesn't show up, it's not. Yeah, the world telling me, hey, you shouldn't have done that.
Connor Griffin
Are there any food places doing their own delivery these days?
Brandon Walker
I think pizza places are still hanging.
Connor Griffin
Yeah, some pizza places will.
Eddie
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Throw the little logo on the top of your car.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Titus
You still see the domino's car with the bag.
Kyle
Actually, no, I haven't seen one.
Connor Griffin
I haven't seen here. I haven't seen.
Brandon Walker
When was the last time YouTube perfect bodies ordered Domino's?
Kyle
Oh my God.
Connor Griffin
I guess. Yeah. Guys like us.
Big Cat
Have you guys ordered anything from the robots?
Brandon Walker
Coco.
Big Cat
Is that what they are?
Kate
Against my will.
Big Cat
You have.
Kate
I ordered from a expensive ass pizza place in town. And then I watched it. It'll show up as the robot. And I watch as it took a hour to go half a mile. And then pizza was cold and floppy.
Brandon Walker
I saw one run into a pole.
Big Cat
Yeah, Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I always wave to him though.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
No, my kids love seeing them.
Kate
It was worth it.
Jay
That was my.
Big Cat
I'm so stupid. Oh my God. Wait, how much lunch did you think you ordered?
Brandon Walker
That's the thing. I like other. I thought that he just was doing other deliveries and put mine with it.
Big Cat
That's the fakest picture ever. Zoom in.
Brandon Walker
Bunch of groceries, say Alamy. So first of all, it's not even a screenshot.
Eddie
It's.
Brandon Walker
Somebody took a picture of their computer screen. Dreamstime.com.
Big Cat
Wait, can we do a reverse image search and figure out where this came from originated?
Brandon Walker
Well, it's from Dreamstime.com, the cheaper shutter stock.
Big Cat
Is that what it is?
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
Dreamtime.
Connor Griffin
That's funny.
Brandon Walker
But like, he didn't even screenshot. It's like a picture of a computer screen.
Big Cat
He just got his reflection. He got you from start to finish.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Big Cat
And you pre tipped.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Kyle
You could take it away.
Marshall
I got it all.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I got it all back in credits. So it'll just happen again.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I'm so stupid. Was walking around the cold.
Titus
I don't know, though. That guy is not getting the benefit of the doubt. They see he was clearly. It wasn't like an accident or anything. He uploaded a licensed picture.
Brandon Walker
I don't think he gives a shit.
Big Cat
No, Getting.
Connor Griffin
Getting got sucks.
Big Cat
It really does.
Connor Griffin
It sucks so much. The. The feeling of like, I'm a fucking idiot. How did this happen?
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Yeah. Getting got online. Oh, brutal. You just sit there and you're just like, God damn it, why didn't I use my brain on this one?
Kyle
Yeah, it seems to happen to you a lot.
Big Cat
Well, I. The cope I use is that you're not properly doing your job unless you're getting got. Like it's going hard in the paint. Like, you're gonna have to foul. You're gonna have to get fouled. That's just the cost of doing business.
Connor Griffin
That's right.
Big Cat
We did have a little stretch, though, where Dom had sent me like two or three fakes in a row, and I didn't even look at him. I just, like, retweeted him. And yeah, that was bad. We had to have a little talk. Just really, really. Oh, yeah. 100. I told him that. I was like, you're my sterling reputation online as someone who gets all facts right. Has been tarnished.
Kyle
Yeah.
Big Cat
That's got to be really scary for the reporters. Like, you get one thing wrong, you're done.
Brandon Walker
Tarnished.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Like what. What was the. Was it who did Arson judge to the. To the Giants? Is that Haymon?
Eddie
No.
Big Cat
Might have been.
Eddie
Hater.
Connor Griffin
Yeah, I remember what you're talking about.
Big Cat
Yeah. You tried to get it out so fast, and then it wasn't. None of it was right. Arson judge to the job.
Kyle
Well, do they get penalized for that.
Big Cat
Or they get fired of public opinion? That's.
Connor Griffin
In that sense.
Big Cat
Yeah. There it is. Arson judge appears headed to Giants. None of that was right.
Kyle
So Aaron Judge stayed with the ink. Yeah, I knew that.
Big Cat
What's up, everyone?
Brandon Walker
News breakers. Those are your guys.
Marshall
Tightest.
Titus
Yeah.
Big Cat
You love them.
Connor Griffin
Well, it's just I, I think this Jaguars situation has illuminated what my ultimate issue is.
Big Cat
Explain the situation for people who don't.
Connor Griffin
Know, the people that don't know. There's the Jaguars press conference after the Jags lost to the Bills. And the lady, just the start of the press conference. Liam Cohen's just up there at the podium and she just gives, like, a pep talk, which was incredible. It was just like out of nowhere. And the big Jays are losing their mind about.
Big Cat
Oh, yeah.
Connor Griffin
And I, I realize it's not. The reason I hate the scoops guys so much is because I just hate any sports journalist that believes that what they do is important, basically.
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah.
Connor Griffin
Anybody that's, like, covering sports that is like, I do very, very important work. You're a bozo and you deserve to be clowned. And that's what happened with the Jaguars lady.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
That, like, all these, all these people are like, that's so unprofessional.
Kyle
She hyped him up. It was like, yeah, very.
Eddie
You see the.
Kate
Very wholesome.
Brandon Walker
It was.
Kate
Yeah, it was really like.
Connor Griffin
It was awesome.
Eddie
Congratulations on your success, man. You hold your head up. All right? You guys have had a most magnificent season.
Jay
Thank you.
Eddie
You did a great job out there today. So you just hold your head up. Okay. And ladies and gentlemen, Duvall, you the one. All right. You keep it going. We got another season. Okay. Take care. And much continued success to you and the entire team. That's amazing.
Connor Griffin
That's so cool.
Kyle
Is that breaking unwritten rules or etiquette?
Connor Griffin
I guess so.
Eddie
Among the big J journalists, you have to ask them.
Kyle
How did it feel out there?
Big Cat
Yeah. No, we were saying on week of bars, some guys sitting in the back of that room. Like, I was just about to ask him to talk about the third down decision, and now I can't.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, she ruined.
Titus
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
The third.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Marshall
That.
Kyle
What was going through your head?
Big Cat
Yeah, I, I, My take on this one was I, I think we need to do a better job in society today because everyone's online and there's. Everyone's got a take and everyone's got an opinion. You got to be able to every now and then just be like, I don't care.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
I mean, I don't care that she did that. I don't really care. I didn't think it was that, like, remarkable. I did. I had no strong opinion one way or the Other, I don't think the.
Connor Griffin
Big Jays didn't care either. And they made it known on every. On their numerous tweets.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Like, I don't care one way or another.
Big Cat
Right.
Connor Griffin
But you care.
Marshall
Right? Right.
Big Cat
It's okay to just be like, okay, that happened.
Connor Griffin
Read my paragraphs.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Of why this could be a problem.
Kyle
Yeah. Everyone has to have an extreme opinion.
Big Cat
Right. It's like sometimes you could just say, cool, move along.
Brandon Walker
Who's anti compliment the big Js. What did he say?
Big Cat
They were upset.
Eddie
Stan Verrett had three or four tweets about it. A lot of. A lot of sports reporters had. Jeff Pearlman had a four minute tick tock on it.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Eddie
Like, it's just. What you're doing is not that serious.
Connor Griffin
I think this should be standard practice in the NFL. I think every playoff loss should open with the losing coach getting a pep talk.
Big Cat
Well, someone pointed out, like, could you imagine how great of a clip it would have been if someone did that to Belichick after. Oh, yeah.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah.
Eddie
We need it.
Kyle
It was the perfect two people like some white dill weed. Couldn't have gotten away with that.
Big Cat
Yeah. No. Definitely not. Here's an analogy about the Jackson reporter situation. Let's say you're expected to wear a suit to work. If you showed up in shorts, you violated workplace nor. That is true. Even if you look better in shorts, people like seeing you in them. And people who point out to the departure from these norms don't hate shorts. Are people who wear shorts.
Eddie
All right, dude, eight sentences. Yeah, just about.
Connor Griffin
He fired off like eight tweets. And then one of them was finally to be clear. I'm not upset about this.
Big Cat
Yeah, that's.
Kate
Oh, my God.
Big Cat
He's still going.
Kate
Is this a real person?
Big Cat
I think reporter in Jacksonville had said, coach, I'm glad your team lost. And I don't think you're the right coach. And they will probably continue to lose. Can't wait for you to leave Duval. Almost anyone would understand it was the wrong setting for that. What she said was sweet, endearing, and positive. It was still outside professional norms for a reporter. We're not here to berate, console, or cheer. We're there to ask questions to enhance coverage. Full stop. Full stop.
Kate
Stop.
Brandon Walker
What a square.
Big Cat
Full stop is one of those triggers the. Or full stop. And also, I don't know who needs to hear this or the clapping emojis for period.
Brandon Walker
What about all the Bears fans say? The packers fans saying that? Enjoy it, Bears. This was your Super Bowl.
Eddie
I Don't like that one.
Brandon Walker
That's a lot.
Marshall
You see that a lot.
Big Cat
That also is like, I. Whatever. Because I actually, I called into Bob Does Sports, was doing a stream in cutsy, who's a great guy, was. Is a Packers fan. And he said that to me. And I said, so you're admitting the Bears won the Super Bowl? I was like, wait a second. But you just said, we won the Super Bowl.
Connor Griffin
I think that's. It's a coat move, no matter what. But, like, to do that in the regular season, I guess you could maybe make an argument, let's do it at a playoff game. Like, in the regular season, you'd be like, it's funny that you guys cared so much. We don't even care because we're getting geared up for the playoff. You know, you could argue that sort of thing.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Kyle
One time.
Connor Griffin
But there's no world where the packers weren't trying to win.
Big Cat
Right.
Connor Griffin
I mean, you know, like, it was their Super Bowl.
Big Cat
Right.
Connor Griffin
They were also trying to win the Super Bowl.
Big Cat
The. We did. We did. At the end of week 18 on PMT, we did everyone's super bowl who didn't make the playoffs. Because I feel like it's actually nice to look back at and be like, oh, you remember when you, like, the Falcons beat the Bills on Monday Night Football and went like 4 and 2? That was their Super Bowl. Looking back at it, everyone should get.
Eddie
A Super bowl every year.
Big Cat
Sports suck. Here's your Super Bowl.
Kyle
Too hard.
Brandon Walker
But it's always deemed their super bowl after they win.
Big Cat
Yeah. Not before. Although it was kind of before. It was kind of hard.
Brandon Walker
Was that.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
They're not so wrong.
Kyle
Y' all done the same.
Brandon Walker
Danny, was that Super Bowl.
Big Cat
It was a big.
Titus
Not that great. Like a rival in a postseason game.
Jay
Yeah.
Big Cat
We're gonna be happy as owned you forever.
Titus
Yeah. But I think. Yeah. That's such, like, a transparent coping thing that I don't think.
Big Cat
Yeah. And the people mad about Ben Johnson are just. Oh, I love that he didn't. That he doubled down. Right.
Titus
And it's like anyone who's mad at that, you know, they would be cheering for it if it was their coach who did it.
Big Cat
Yeah. And it's the. It's like getting in a. Like. Like getting in a competition. Losing and then being like, I didn't care anyway. Okay, well, then why do we compete?
Kate
Yeah.
Titus
Like these journalists were doing.
Big Cat
Yeah. I love. Oh, man. The big change. I think they're also just. I think the journalists are just. They're very Threatened these days.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
By their existence because of the fact that, like, back in the day, the. The local, like, lead columnist was the guy, you know, he basically set the tone.
Jay
He.
Big Cat
He had the take and everyone went with that take. Now there's so many outlets and so many people creating content, they probably feel a little threatened.
Connor Griffin
Who wrote the rules, by the way, on Journal, on sports journalism? Because they all, like, refer to the code. Where did the code come from?
Brandon Walker
Who's the father?
Connor Griffin
How did this start? Where this. These are the rules. God damn it.
Big Cat
And it's very funny because again, it's not. We're not talking about real journalists, like, Exactly. People who are exposing, like, corruption or, like, you know, stories from war that I get. Like, you gotta have some rules. This is just a game.
Connor Griffin
It's a game.
Kyle
Syracuse needs more bullies.
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah.
Kyle
They should ship them in ransom bullies.
Big Cat
That new house Syracuse should have, like, they should. They should do. Because they have their journalism school. They should have like a tick tock school. And it's just like, cool, hot people. They're like, I'm gonna take your job.
Kyle
Yeah.
Big Cat
Just so they can get used to it, you know? Yeah. I'm gonna have a YouTube show. I'm gonna swear. And you're not gonna be able to.
Kyle
There's just want to give them like an industrial noogie with machinery. Attach them to a clamp, a factory clamp. They need that in their skin. Industrial.
Brandon Walker
They need to strap their underwear to like a. Like an automated flag.
Big Cat
Yeah. Just a constant. Yeah. Like the. The JFK Forever flame. It's a forever toilet.
Kyle
Always, always, always going. They're always ask you forever toilet.
Big Cat
Dunk your head in there. You do too.
Kyle
Well, at Syracuse Journalism School, you go to the forever toilet, if you're over.
Big Cat
3.7 GPA, it's straight to the forever toilet. There's just a behemoth of a man ready to dunk your little frail body.
Jay
Oh, shout out to Adam Schefter, though, because he had a similar opinion as Titus.
Connor Griffin
Oh.
Jay
He was the first person to amplify it. Called an awesome exchange, which triggered a lot of.
Big Cat
But see that I. I don't care about that either. I don't think it was that awesome.
Connor Griffin
You're right.
Kyle
It wasn't that.
Big Cat
It was just a thing.
Eddie
It was awesome. In the face of the backlash. The. The fact that the backlash exists and people were like, this is how you should actually act. No, it was. It's awesome the fact that it triggered that and it triggered people to be emotional and defensive of a. Of a occupation that isn't that serious.
Big Cat
Right.
Eddie
I go back retro and look at her like, okay, well, that's awesome.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Eddie
That makes it cool.
Big Cat
You wait for their move and then you counter move. Yes.
Titus
Like, how much would it have changed if she threw in a question at the end?
Eddie
Lynn Jones is her name, by the way.
Big Cat
Jones. Shout out Lynn Jones.
Kate
Also, I think dudes take sports a little seriously.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Kate
So it's nice to see it's. People get a little angrier than, like. It's like, okay, nobody's. There's people that are dying, Kim. Okay. Chill out. And I just like to see a little humanity. Dash.
Eddie
I had to be in those rooms for 15 years, and nobody likes to smell their own farts like sportswriters.
Kate
Yeah.
Eddie
And I hated it. I hated it then. And I got lucky and got out of it, but I still hate it.
Jay
I also think it changes a little bit because she has been on the Jaguars coverage for 30 years, since the team became a real.
Kate
It's not objective.
Jay
She can do what she wants shooting for.
Big Cat
So if she was a newbie. Yeah.
Jay
I think it would get a lot more backlash.
Connor Griffin
Connor Griffin hates her guts. You ask him why? He says, because she's not hot.
Marshall
Wouldn't.
Big Cat
Her hands aren't.
Connor Griffin
That's what he said.
Brandon Walker
I think it's fine to pick up a grown man that's about to cry. Personally, I think.
Big Cat
I think he.
Kyle
Do you think he deserved to hear that?
Big Cat
No, I think he.
Kyle
I think he did.
Big Cat
No.
Eddie
Jacksonville did a hell of a job.
Big Cat
Yeah. But I think he knows he did a hell of a job. I don't think he needed to be told that.
Eddie
I think.
Connor Griffin
I think you appreciate some positive feedback. His face was, like, lighting up as she kept going like he did. Like, oh, wow.
Big Cat
Okay.
Brandon Walker
What was the last time Brandon? Somebody was like, you did a damn good job.
Eddie
Oh, my God. So 2004.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. What was it?
Connor Griffin
Okay.
Eddie
I just made it up.
Brandon Walker
I put you on the spot.
Eddie
So we.
Big Cat
So what we need to do is we just need to have every press conference start with, anyone got any compliments or questions?
Brandon Walker
I think in order to ask a question, you have to give a compliment.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Kate
Clement Wheel.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Eddie
I. I just say I think a compliment from an older black lady feels better than any other compliment.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Right.
Eddie
They're just way better. They're way better at complimenting than anybody else is what.
Kyle
That's what we're dealing with.
Eddie
Just tell him, young man. And like, you. Like I. Yeah.
Titus
They call you baby.
Eddie
Yeah. If that were. If that were a 32 year old white woman. I don't know if it was just like a.
Big Cat
When it's reversed, like when coaches compliment the reporters, they love that. It. When they'll be like, oh, I know you, Kevin. Like, oh, didn't you say that last week? Yeah, they eat that up.
Connor Griffin
Yeah, they do, huh?
Titus
Maybe she was just like sucking up to him. So now next time she'll get called first.
Eddie
Lynn Jones, don't suck up.
Big Cat
Nah, I would. Like if, like next year they, they loot. They have a really bad year. If she's like, yeah, all that I said last year sucked.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I was wrong.
Big Cat
Yeah. Just keep that same energy.
Eddie
Lynn, get the out of here.
Brandon Walker
That's what she has to do.
Big Cat
Yeah. Be real.
Eddie
I think she would.
Big Cat
I don't think she would. I think she's dog football.
Eddie
I think Lynn. I think Lynn tells it like it is.
Brandon Walker
She hasn't done it. Has she ever.
Big Cat
Yeah, she has. She's had many chances to do that.
Eddie
I don't know. I haven't been around Lynn Jones.
Kyle
That's the problem. This should have just happened.
Big Cat
Yeah, thanks.
Kyle
Lynn Jones is gonna be like some Donald Trump.
Big Cat
That's what I'm saying. It's just the thing that should have just happened and we should have had no takes.
Kyle
Yeah.
Big Cat
Just happened.
Eddie
I disagree. Whenever I can dunk on sports writers that take themselves too seriously, I'm going to take that opportunity.
Connor Griffin
Same.
Eddie
Fuck them. Fuck them is what I say.
Connor Griffin
Fuck them.
Big Cat
Okay. Yeah. So then we disagree.
Eddie
Unless you're saying they shouldn't have had the takes and then I shouldn't have been able to react to it. In that case, it's still their fault.
Connor Griffin
We were talking about it earlier, like the big Js. How far does the impartial partial personality, how far does that go? Like if. If you're walking into the press conference and the coach is walking behind you, can you hold the door for them? Can you show like common courtesy?
Big Cat
No.
Connor Griffin
Or do you have to like slam the door in their face?
Big Cat
Yeah. You can't do.
Connor Griffin
Can you?
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah. It is very funny to be like, we still are humans so you can still have a relationship. Although I didn't go to journalism school, so I don't know.
Jay
What was the thing you had with Peter King where you like, like bought him a meal like, and he wasn't supposed to have.
Big Cat
Oh, yeah, he owes me money. Well, that's because he. We were at Niners camp and we were hanging out and we were doing Grit Week and he was there, and we were all sitting, waiting to interview some people. And I was like, all right, well, we gotta get lunch. So I went to In N Out. I was like, peter, what do you want? I think he got two hamburgers and I bought him for him. And then like a year later, he bashed barstool. And I was like, well, dude, pay me the money back. This is. You got a free burger and then you bash it.
Marshall
No fry, no cheese.
Brandon Walker
If somebody's picking up food for you that you'd kind of know, you can't be a glutton.
Connor Griffin
No, you got to say a number. Say, give me the number one. Give me the number two, Give me the number three.
Big Cat
And then he bashed us, like, bro.
Eddie
If a man buys you a burger, you can't ever bash that.
Big Cat
Right?
Kate
It's a code.
Big Cat
Like, I don't like this bar stool. Well, you like those burgers, buddy. Yeah, he kind of owns you.
Kyle
That's the worst. Did he go animal style?
Big Cat
I think he might have.
Brandon Walker
This man had you ordering off the secret menu.
Big Cat
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Eddie
Oh, hot, hot guy Friday.
Connor Griffin
Yep.
Big Cat
I've been in touch with him.
Brandon Walker
How's he text?
Big Cat
We're Instagram dming. I told him we gotta get. We gotta wear our best fit. We gotta maybe get a tan.
Eddie
So you're nervous? He's not hot enough.
Big Cat
I showed my wife him and she was not blown away.
Titus
Oh.
Big Cat
Oh, no, dear dude. And I'm like, I just can't believe I had a moment last night when I was going to bed and I was like, what did I do? What did I. I'm bringing in my crush. My male crush.
Kyle
Tonight is coming.
Big Cat
I met for, like 20 seconds.
Kyle
Yep. Your weakness. Your forever weakness.
Big Cat
I think he's gonna deliver. I really do.
Connor Griffin
Meanwhile, Eddie is under undercutting you.
Kyle
Ed doesn't.
Connor Griffin
Eddie does not believe at all.
Eddie
He's in business.
Big Cat
He's just trying to prove to everyone how straight he is. We get it, dude.
Kate
Are we still doing them in the clump of normies? Because I think that matters.
Big Cat
Yeah. I think he's bringing his friends.
Kate
Okay.
Big Cat
So it actually would be the same setting that I saw him.
Kate
Okay.
Jay
Okay.
Brandon Walker
This guy has a pretty common name. Your crush.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Your boy toy. And Eddie said he's not even the hottest of that name in this office.
Big Cat
Yeah. That's crazy.
Kyle
He said he's one rung because what.
Connor Griffin
He said when he is here, he won't even be the hottest guy with that name while he's here. That's crazy.
Kate
Mincy.
Jay
Yes.
Brandon Walker
His name is.
Big Cat
His name is Mince.
Brandon Walker
And Che, did you have his number saved in your phone and it popped up on your car?
Jay
Yeah.
Kyle
Che, what are you doing?
Jay
So I see. What?
Big Cat
What are you doing? What do you mean?
Brandon Walker
Yeah, what were you.
Jay
Okay.
Kyle
You're in contact.
Jay
Yes. So one of his friends DM'd me yesterday because Big Head said, send all this stuff my way and include his number. He said, like, he's good to talk to you. So I reached out. That's how he found it. He was on a plane yesterday. We started texting. I saved him my phone as.
Big Cat
We.
Jay
Could just say his first name, right? Like it doesn't matter.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Jay
Nick, Big Cat's crush. And I just did that. I was driving my kids home yesterday and I got a text from him that was like, hey, do you have a few minutes to talk? But it appeared on Apple Carplay as Nick, Big Cat's crush. And my young kids who know Big Cat are like, what does that say? Who's Nick's Big Cat's crush? And so that was an uncomfortable discussion. But then I talked to Nick on the phone, and multiple times he said the phrase, and I'm quoting this, I'm willing to stretch this as far as Big Cat likes.
Brandon Walker
What is. What's he stretching?
Big Cat
That's what I like. That's what I like hearing from my crush.
Kyle
Big Stephen Shea is your liaison of gay sex affairs.
Brandon Walker
Jay, that's VP of football.
Kyle
Richards, that's your coordinating. Preparing orgasm points. Seminal releases.
Jay
So he seems down for whatever. So this is. This should be fun on Friday.
Big Cat
So nervous.
Brandon Walker
And there's a sales guy, Nick, who Eddie is dead set. Is better looking.
Big Cat
Yeah. We got to get him in here too. I. I don't think Nick, I don't think he's hot. He's a fine looking guy's a good looking guy, but is it that standard?
Eddie
Standard attract? I don't think he's.
Connor Griffin
Isn't that proof to Eddie's point that if he, if Nick Addison's better looking than Dan.
Marshall
Wait, is Eddie gay?
Eddie
Proves he has a crush on Nick.
Brandon Walker
Eddie has a crush on.
Connor Griffin
Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Kyle
A lot on the line.
Connor Griffin
I'll defend Eddie. Eddie never said Nick Addison was hot. Eddie said that Dan's guy is not as attractive as Nick Addison.
Eddie
But he had Nick Addison.
Big Cat
So hurtful to me.
Kyle
Be honest.
Big Cat
I just think you're in for a tough Friday.
Eddie
Jesus.
Big Cat
No, no, there's nothing against him. Like Jacob Elordi could walk in here.
Eddie
You think this guy's ugly as.
Marshall
No, no, no.
Big Cat
But Kyle's like, this is a high bar. Oh, me, like you're gonna be pointing out his dimples or something.
Eddie
So Nick Addison is more attractive than this Nick?
Big Cat
I think it's a good race.
Connor Griffin
Where's Nick Addison? On a scale of 1 to 10? So we get a frame of reference.
Kate
Yeah. In your mind, what is he?
Big Cat
Well, I, I don't have. I don't. I just have comparisons.
Kate
Don't be shy.
Titus
So we really shouldn't sexualize our co.
Connor Griffin
Workers compared to, compared to sixes is Nick Addison.
Big Cat
Oh, yeah. I don't. I don't know. I mean, you guys know what he looks like too. I don't have to be the one to grade.
Jay
I don't know.
Eddie
I don't think he's that hot.
Brandon Walker
I think Nick Addison's a perfectly handsome man.
Marshall
Yeah, he's.
Eddie
He's solid. He's solid.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
How would you rate him?
Eddie
Brandon N. If this guy isn't better than Nick Addison, then he's not worth bringing in here. That's what I'll say.
Kyle
Yeah. There's a fine line between and disrupt your marriage and bring someone into your workplace.
Big Cat
Let me ask you question. Let me ask you a question, Eddie and maybe Nick Addison. Was he here? Yeah, he's here. Okay.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, you would know.
Big Cat
All right, here's Nick Addison. Okay, go into. Go sit where Stephen or. Yeah, you sit where Danny is for a second. We got. I got my crush coming in on Friday.
Kyle
So Big Cat's bad habit is coming in on Friday.
Big Cat
Yeah. And. And, and his name is Nick. And Eddie thinks that you're more attractive than this guy.
Marshall
But Eddie knows me.
Big Cat
Yeah. So it might Be a personality thing.
Connor Griffin
You.
Big Cat
You think Nick has. Might be office hot to you. Yeah, he might. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Work husband.
Connor Griffin
Is this the hottest you can get? You can get hotter, right?
Brandon Walker
Yeah, for sure. I.
Eddie
A haircut.
Jay
Clean up.
Marshall
Yeah.
Eddie
I don't know. I mean, just about as hot as I put together.
Big Cat
Let me ask just a simple question, and I don't want to put anyone on the spot. Nick Addison, do you have a six pack?
Marshall
No.
Big Cat
Oh. Because my guy does.
Kate
He does.
Kyle
Okay.
Big Cat
But I have been told, like, how many kids does he have? I don't know if he has any kids.
Eddie
How deep back in his Instagram did you go, Dan, that's not a good July 4th.
Kyle
How old is he?
Big Cat
I think he's probably 30ish. Young, 30s. He graduated high school in 2011, so. Okay, so maybe even a little older.
Kyle
32, 33.
Big Cat
Yes, like 33, 34. I think it was 11. He's gotten better with it.
Kyle
Got better with things.
Big Cat
I went all the way back.
Kyle
Okay. Full body.
Eddie
Oh, yeah.
Connor Griffin
Look at me. You're not just with Big Cat.
Jay
That.
Connor Griffin
Do you think Dick Addison's more attractive than the big Cats guy?
Big Cat
I. Listen, here's the. Here's the issue. I talked. I talked to sources in his camp. He's hitting a tanning bed. Like he's coming. Yeah, well, I told him he's hitting the bed. Yeah, I told him. So I said, dude, we need you in your house.
Kyle
No, that's not fair.
Big Cat
So let me get. Let me get some. Some motion.
Connor Griffin
Nick on Friday. Yeah, he's got you.
Big Cat
We're having Nick. I told him he has to an hour ago.
Kate
Does this guy normally tan, or is he, like, judging himself just for Big Cat?
Big Cat
He. They said no, but he's gonna start.
Kate
He's gonna start.
Eddie
So this thing has now changed to a Nick competition.
Brandon Walker
No, this is suede.
Big Cat
This is.
Marshall
This isn't right.
Brandon Walker
We need him. As you say.
Big Cat
Listen, bronze medal's not that bad. Okay.
Brandon Walker
I don't know.
Eddie
Smokes.
Big Cat
Yeah, we do have a lot of Knicks.
Eddie
He's Charles for Soul Links.
Big Cat
All right. That's all we had. Nick. I just wanted.
Marshall
All right, boys.
Brandon Walker
I just wanted to take a peek.
Eddie
Good, good. Hot.
Big Cat
Danny, come back.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Nice boots.
Kate
He's got good boots on today. That's.
Eddie
Yeah.
Kyle
Height.
Big Cat
He's tall.
Kate
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Six.
Marshall
Three.
Eddie
No, goddamn. Six. Three and a half.
Kate
Yes, he is.
Eddie
Whatever. Keep walking. I'm good.
Kate
Oh, Nick. Addison's feeling himself. As he should be.
Eddie
I guess so. That's Eddie's crush.
Brandon Walker
That's Ed's crush.
Eddie
All right.
Big Cat
I've heard people say they find him attractive. I was like, yeah, you're right.
Brandon Walker
Who said that?
Eddie
You. You.
Big Cat
It was you ratting those people out.
Eddie
What are you doing?
Big Cat
Oh, I'm just showing abs.
Kyle
Well, we're not going to see.
Big Cat
Yeah, we're not going to see his abs.
Eddie
Yeah, we might see his ass.
Kate
Yeah.
Eddie
Can't rule out abs.
Big Cat
You're not concerned at all that you've hyped them up too much? Oh, I'm very concerned. This is a. This is the biggest day of my life. On Friday.
Brandon Walker
Could be the first day of your life.
Big Cat
Could be the first.
Connor Griffin
My hot guy from the BET gal is named Nick, too, by the way.
Big Cat
It's just the Nick. So is it. Is it. Every Nick is just super hot.
Brandon Walker
I'm Christopher now. Dude, I'm Christopher.
Big Cat
And none of you guys have gotten a sneak peek yet? No. Nobody.
Eddie
Don't want it.
Big Cat
Good. Good. Smart.
Eddie
Also, Titus, if you were to bring your neck in. That's not even close.
Connor Griffin
It won't even be close.
Eddie
That.
Connor Griffin
Dude, you know this guy. Guy. I'm showing you my guy.
Big Cat
Yeah, I'd love to bet Gala.
Brandon Walker
Nick, he. He had, like, a magnetic pool, an.
Eddie
Aura in a glow.
Connor Griffin
Really?
Big Cat
Yeah. I think we're gonna go to the game.
Connor Griffin
That's Mike.
Big Cat
Oh, I think we gotta go to the game.
Eddie
Oh.
Big Cat
I mean, but this guy's like.
Connor Griffin
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not. Yeah. Not fair. Yeah, it's a different game. Yeah, it's a different game altogether. I mean. I mean, look at that.
Big Cat
If you got professional pictures like that.
Connor Griffin
My guy's better than Dan.
Big Cat
No, that. You don't know. You don't know that.
Kate
Holy.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Jay
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
I don't know that this guy was a sexy vampire.
Connor Griffin
Yeah. Are you kidding me?
Brandon Walker
In person.
Connor Griffin
Are you kidding me? Get a peek of that.
Big Cat
Oh, my God. Oh, wow. I mean, come on. What is he doing with that pose? Yeah, that's not.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Trying to. He's trying too hard.
Brandon Walker
Titus, see if he can get here by Friday.
Connor Griffin
I will. DM Him. Him.
Big Cat
That guy needs you.
Kyle
Is he taken?
Big Cat
My Nick? Yeah, he's married.
Kyle
Oh, that's right. That's right.
Eddie
So he'd be leaving his family, too.
Big Cat
Correct.
Brandon Walker
My Nick.
Titus
This guy's going to get a restraining order.
Big Cat
Yeah, I think. I think we're going to go. Nice. And then we'll. We'll go to the. We'll go to their tailgate again. Perfect. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Well, that's why.
Eddie
Yeah. Yeah.
Big Cat
You're sick. That's the motivation. Good.
Eddie
Luck and the nick off.
Big Cat
No, it's good luck for us to go to.
Eddie
Oh, I see.
Big Cat
Yeah, it's good luck for us to live together, Brandon.
Connor Griffin
You got to live around a nick. You have to have a nick in your life. Other than.
Eddie
I think I would just have to put forth terrain.
Brandon Walker
Thanks, man.
Eddie
Give it our best shot. Just give it a whirl, man.
Connor Griffin
We're gonna give the real a story.
Brandon Walker
Listen, we can see what happens.
Eddie
All we're gonna. We're gonna break you out of the gate just like everybody else, man. Somebody stumbles, we're right there.
Connor Griffin
While you play the game, anything could happen.
Brandon Walker
You make it to the elite eight, everybody loves you, then just UNC beat you by 82.
Big Cat
Did you see. Speaking of neighbors, did you see Mikey bet's been calling his neighbor the wrong name for eight years?
Eddie
Eight years.
Big Cat
That's crazy.
Eddie
How wrong.
Connor Griffin
Close.
Kate
Yeah, that's kind of the neighbor's fault at some point.
Big Cat
That's what he said, and I kind of agree with him. I think it was Derek or I. He's been calling him Derek, and his name's maybe Dylan. Last night, I was talking to my neighbor who had been calling him Derek for eight years. I was talking to my other neighbor. Today. It turns out Derek is actually named Darnell. Why the has he never said anything? I think I gotta stick with Derek until he addresses it. What the is his problem?
Eddie
Well, how'd he find out?
Kate
He was talking to his other neighbor, and he said the wrong name of the neighbor's. Like, that's not his name. The other neighbor.
Big Cat
That's crazy. Say the wrong name for.
Eddie
What if the other neighbor's with him?
Big Cat
Oh, what if Mikey bets is schizophrenic panic?
Brandon Walker
I think that's probably our best bet. That's.
Big Cat
That's on the table for sure.
Eddie
I do. Like, his first instinct was to blame the guy.
Connor Griffin
Yeah. Yeah.
Kate
The is wrong with this guy. Yeah.
Big Cat
I mean, if someone calls you the wrong name for that long, I'm embarrassed.
Brandon Walker
Correcting.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Kyle
You reach a point I don't correct.
Brandon Walker
Because I know how bad they'd feel, so whatever.
Big Cat
Yeah, you're right on that.
Titus
There's probably a way to, like, casually throw it in there, though. Like, if you're like, oh, so I got this package has my name on it, Derek, blah, blah, blah. And then instead of being like, actually.
Big Cat
My buddy's wife's name is Alex, and he went to pick up a pizza under her name, and they call him Alex now, and he just won't correct them oh, no. What do you do?
Kate
Like, I'm stuck.
Big Cat
Gender. Yeah, the gender neutral names. You get a. You probably get Brendan sometimes.
Eddie
No, I don't. Most people just respect me and call me. Call me Brandon. Except for assholes online, they call me Brendan.
Titus
Wait, it's Brandon.
Eddie
It's Brandon with an A?
Big Cat
Yeah. Do you hate Brendan?
Eddie
I don't. I. Nothing. Brendan. Because that's not my name.
Big Cat
Yeah, but like, you hate it.
Eddie
I've never encountered it in real life. It's only online.
Big Cat
Yeah, but you definitely hate.
Brandon Walker
You've never met a Brendan?
Eddie
No, I, I. No, I've never been confused for a Brendan.
Big Cat
But you hate the name Brandon.
Eddie
It's a worse version of Brandon.
Big Cat
Right? You hate it.
Eddie
The knockoff version of Brandon.
Brandon Walker
It really is.
Eddie
Yeah. So I do kind of think it's stupid.
Connor Griffin
Where does Brandon come from?
Eddie
It's. It's Scottish. I don't know.
Brandon Walker
What's it mean?
Eddie
I don't know. I don't know. I believe it was a character in a book my mom was reading as she was knocked up with me. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Big Cat
That was it.
Eddie
I think so. My dad wanted to name me tj.
Big Cat
Oh, yeah?
Eddie
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
But Thomas. What?
Eddie
Jackson.
Big Cat
Thomas Jackson Walker?
Eddie
Yeah, I think so.
Brandon Walker
Stonewall.
Eddie
I don't think. I doubt he knew who that was.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Eddie
Probably just somebody that played for the. For Mississippi State in 73.
Connor Griffin
Are there old Brandons?
Eddie
I. No, I. I don't know how many.
Big Cat
The fact they're young Brendan's translates to.
Kyle
Hill covered with broom. Amazing.
Eddie
It's a masculine name.
Big Cat
Do you ever see those. Those two gay guys that do the gay name or straight name?
Brandon Walker
Yes.
Big Cat
I think they did Mark the other day.
Connor Griffin
Oh, really?
Big Cat
We should see it.
Kate
Let me find Mark with a C is gay. In my mind, it's like sexy kind.
Connor Griffin
Of K. Could be gay.
Kate
Mark with a K is just a Mark.
Brandon Walker
It's Mark.
Eddie
It's just.
Brandon Walker
It's Mark.
Jay
Yeah.
Kyle
Mark is straight.
Kate
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Almost too straight.
Eddie
Almost.
Connor Griffin
It's unfortunately, yeah, extremely straight.
Brandon Walker
Kyle. Why are you Kyle?
Kyle
My dad wanted to name me Blaze.
Brandon Walker
Ah.
Eddie
So said.
Kyle
No, it's Kyle. It's either Blaze or Kyle.
Brandon Walker
Blaze Bauer.
Kate
Yeah.
Eddie
I'm. I'm not gonna lie. Blae Bauer.
Kate
Yeah. That's kind of sick.
Eddie
Kind of amazing. Especially for a wrestler.
Kyle
Yeah.
Eddie
Like, maybe after you get that done.
Kyle
With wrestling, you got like a lot on your plate.
Kate
It's embarrassing to lose if you're Blaze Bauer.
Kyle
Right.
Kate
That's tough.
Kyle
Yeah. You have an expectation.
Kate
Yeah.
Kyle
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Number six in your district and your Blaze Bowers.
Kyle
No, you gotta be losing in the conce semis if your name is Blaze.
Kate
Oh, but like, Kenneth Bauer. Six would be great. I'd be like, oh, wow.
Kyle
Kenneth. Kenneth.
Kate
Like, that name I have lower expectations for.
Big Cat
Yeah, right.
Eddie
Good job, Kelly.
Kate
Yes. Good for Kenneth.
Big Cat
It's Miss. Miss Thing. The pod on Instagram. Yeah. Did they do Mark? Oh, straight name Mark. Hello. Mark is gay. He's always surprisingly gay.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
Mark is someone who. You first meet him, you think straight, you're like, okay, so straight.
Kyle
And then as Mark hobbies and interests.
Big Cat
You have to very subtly not react to the shock when you find out that they're gay. Like, because you're obviously like, oh, you were gay. Telling you about the warehouse party that they were at and you're like, you're gay.
Marshall
Listen, I completely agree.
Big Cat
Mark was kind of like a good, good student.
Marshall
You know, bookish a little bit, but like, always kind of like played sports.
Big Cat
He wrote. Oh, no. Really inherited that gay accent that people.
Marshall
Love to talk about.
Big Cat
In our comments.
Marshall
Mark was marked safe from gay voice.
Big Cat
Yeah. The other thing that Mark inherited. Oh, my God.
Kyle
Is Mark Love.
Big Cat
Yeah. To tell you about who they slept with with the previous weekend. That is always.
Eddie
Yep.
Big Cat
You're always talking about your wife.
Connor Griffin
Oh, my God. Wow.
Big Cat
Yeah, it's scary.
Connor Griffin
That's a lot. That's a lot to think about.
Eddie
So have they done Kyle and Nick and.
Connor Griffin
I mean, they're not wrong.
Kyle
Look for any late night set.
Big Cat
Look to see if they have any of our names.
Kyle
Union.
Connor Griffin
Yeah. Union at Columbus. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
How'd you know the Columbus Gay Bar?
Kyle
Because I got stranded there once in a blackout with my phone dead.
Connor Griffin
It'll happen.
Kyle
Woke up with some videos.
Big Cat
Videos? Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Videos of what?
Kyle
I got nursed back to health by some. Some big fat gay dude.
Eddie
Oh.
Big Cat
What do you think is the most common name for a gay man? And there's one answer. I know what it is. There's so many. I'll give you a.
Connor Griffin
It's pause.
Marshall
Oh, oh, wait.
Kyle
Oh, no, that's just a hint. It's not cop.
Big Cat
Wait, Go. I'll give you a hint. It's Kyle.
Jay
Close.
Big Cat
Oh, Brian, I.
Kyle
Okay, this is a hint.
Big Cat
Brent or Trent of your probably other than me. Gay best friend is named this.
Eddie
Oh.
Big Cat
And his husband and his. They're both named Matt.
Eddie
They know.
Big Cat
Oh, Gay Matt. If you know a mat in your life, they are gay. And if they're. I think they did Dan. And I think they came to the conclusion that Daniel.
Kyle
Daniel's gay.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
They're like, anyway, Anytime you do the full name.
Connor Griffin
Such a funny premise, you know, because anybody that gets like defensive, you're actually hurting yourself harder.
Kyle
I said, wait, is Daniel Tiger a character?
Big Cat
Yeah, he is. Oh, oh, oh, Steven, your evolution.
Kyle
Straight name.
Big Cat
Steven. Steven's gay. Yeah. I'm sensing femme.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Totally.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
Yes. Is someone who's.
Eddie
I haven't seen them call a name straight.
Big Cat
Well, the gay voice.
Eddie
Totally.
Marshall
Well, when you are born, when your.
Big Cat
Name starts with an S. Yeah, I know there are some Mask Stevens, you know, but I'm not.
Marshall
Yeah, unfortunately, I think like, you still still have a twinge of gay accent.
Big Cat
Which of course.
Connor Griffin
The comments are hilarious. Do Zach. Next.
Kyle
Interesting.
Brandon Walker
I'm curious how that.
Jay
I'm not.
Brandon Walker
Never mind.
Big Cat
I sent this to. They did Ryan. Oh. A little bit ago and I sent it to Rosillo and. And he was like, we should start doing this. But just straight name or super straight name. And just talking about how sick like a dude is.
Kyle
Dusty.
Big Cat
This dude benches so much.
Kyle
Yeah.
Big Cat
Stephen is kind of a gay name. What? It is Steven.
Brandon Walker
I guess when you say it like.
Big Cat
Actually Brandon might be the only one that's. You can't like Brandon.
Eddie
Nope.
Big Cat
But Brendan. Brendan.
Eddie
Brendan's the gay version of Brandon.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Whoa.
Eddie
Yeah. You guys don't have gay versions of your names. You're just.
Big Cat
Your name is just Daniel Nicholas. Yeah. Any longer.
Eddie
I disagree with them. I think there's more Gay Dan's and gay Daniels. No, I think I, I, I think. No, that's what I feel.
Kyle
You feel.
Eddie
I feel it.
Big Cat
There's. I mean, like.
Eddie
No, I feel gay dance.
Big Cat
No one goes.
Kyle
Dan's pretty rugged.
Big Cat
No one goes with Daniel.
Kate
Well, Dan's are power bottoms and Daniels are femtops.
Eddie
Don't know what that means.
Big Cat
Yeah, I don't either.
Eddie
Speaking of, speaking of Zach, what happened this morning?
Big Cat
He might have slept in again. We gotta.
Eddie
You might have come down on. On your, on your baby boy.
Big Cat
We might have to take away his video games. So it's gonna be a problem. I don't want to take away his video games, but I think we're gonna have to take away his video games games.
Kyle
Pull the plug.
Big Cat
Well, he was. I. The guys were telling me. So on Sunday nights we finish the podcast. In football season, we're at like 12:30, 1:00 clock and then like, pft. Hank and I go home and Max and Memes and, And Shane and Pug and everyone, you know, edits and they don't finish till like 4 in the morning. Max was telling me that Zach just Hangs out with him and then goes home and plays video games. So he's playing video games at like three or four in the morning every Sunday.
Eddie
Throws his whole week off.
Kyle
He stay all night.
Big Cat
I think he has some friends that work odd hours and so he has some friends that he can game with at any hour of the day.
Kyle
But he's not hearing his alarm.
Big Cat
I don't know what. Today was a little bit of a. We didn't, we didn't have a full set schedule, but it was also like, we kind of know our schedule. But yeah, he. We might have to take away his video games. I don't want to do that. I don't want to take away his tough games. I love the guy.
Connor Griffin
Maybe just take away the fun ones. Yeah, you can play video games, but they suck.
Big Cat
We haven't recorded the portion of the show yet where we discuss it with him, so we'll have to. We'll see what the. What the end result is.
Kate
I feel bad for him too, because it's just the worst feeling in the world. I used to be a big time accidental late and it's like, that's the worst punishment of all.
Big Cat
And today he walked in and we were all sitting waiting for him and we cheered for him when he came in and he said that he had.
Marshall
He.
Big Cat
I was like, when did you wake up? He said 12 minutes ago. So he was still basically asleep. He just rushed in. That's okay. He'll figure it out. He is so. He's so nice and so. So he apologizes so much that it's hard to stay mad because, like, we've had other guys that would fight, would be like, no, it's your fault that I slept in.
Brandon Walker
No, no, I did.
Big Cat
And that makes it a little bit more difficult. But he comes in and he almost cries. So we. It's like, how can you be mad about that?
Marshall
You can't.
Big Cat
Who's on the treadmill right now?
Eddie
Bft. Oh.
Big Cat
I feel like we have to wean ourself off of Mincy.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
And I can't go cold turkey. I had. Someone in the office was listening to Mincy's conversation on the phone yesterday and I just kind of want to share it.
Brandon Walker
He's been more talkative than ever.
Eddie
What about the video we received?
Brandon Walker
I don't believe it.
Eddie
Okay, I don't either.
Big Cat
What was that?
Eddie
Do you want him down here?
Big Cat
No, I think we just say it and then you guys can go.
Eddie
Oh, he's active.
Big Cat
Okay.
Eddie
Mobile.
Big Cat
Some of his quotes. Maybe we should.
Eddie
And what's this from?
Big Cat
This is from him. Just I think. Well, he talks on the phone very loud.
Eddie
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Okay.
Big Cat
So he's just sitting and talking on the phone super loud in the middle of the office.
Titus
Okay.
Big Cat
So he kind of wants everyone to hear it. He said only three people could get that kiffin phone call. He hadn't done an interview in months, so now he's taking credit for it. Oh, he's mad about that. People are mad about out.
Eddie
Yeah. The thing that was business fault.
Big Cat
Are they still doing Shorty Fest this year? Oh, no. I don't know what that is.
Titus
It sounds funny, though.
Eddie
Some sort of music festival in New Orleans.
Big Cat
Dave is really happy with me in the hard work.
Eddie
That's not. No. Not accurate at all.
Kyle
Can't be. Right.
Brandon Walker
He said that to me in person yesterday.
Big Cat
Marty Grock. Yeah. See all these things he said, so I. I have no problem saying him. He's set him to every.
Brandon Walker
Everyone.
Big Cat
That's Shorty Fest. Oh.
Kate
Trombone Shorty rules.
Big Cat
Not as cool as we thought.
Eddie
That would be pretty cool.
Kate
Kind of cool.
Big Cat
No, but I thought Shorty Fest was like. Like a bunch of. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Shy.
Big Cat
Yeah. Marty Gro content would be great. Something different.
Eddie
What?
Titus
The past three years in a row.
Brandon Walker
He said that to about 20 people yesterday.
Big Cat
Yeah. Most secure I've been in 24 years. Okay.
Eddie
Secure. Wait, wait.
Big Cat
Job security. I think.
Eddie
Think since he turned 18, maybe.
Kate
Is he considering him and Tate one in the same? Maybe like a package deal now?
Kyle
Yeah.
Big Cat
And then this last two are very funny. He said loved having Danny Boy Kane around. He's a Miami fan, not an employee of Barstool, just a friend of Dave's. And then he said he is one of the weirdest characters I've ever been around. That's Mincy talking about Danny Boy.
Marshall
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
I think he said Danny Boy Kane was in his own world.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Yeah. Yeah. Which is perfect. Yeah, it's perfect.
Brandon Walker
It's. It's addicting content. It really, really is.
Big Cat
It really, really is. And Danny Boy will be there. We've confirmed everything. He's. He's already texting Tate about the tickets.
Brandon Walker
Get him downloaded phone.
Big Cat
So next Monday. It is so stupid that they wait this long to do the.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
National championship.
Eddie
Yeah. The fact that feels like it's lost all momentum.
Big Cat
Yeah. The fact that we have the.
Connor Griffin
The.
Big Cat
The conference championships in the NFL are set.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
You got to finish it before NFL playoffs.
Brandon Walker
You do.
Eddie
I think you got to figure out a way to get back to where New Year's Day is your finale.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Eddie
And if they could do that. They'd have it perfected.
Big Cat
Yeah. Nick, sorry about the Steelers. It.
Brandon Walker
It was.
Big Cat
No one saw that coming.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. Since the beginning of the year, we knew this was what going to happen. It's just, it's always the.
Big Cat
It's actually incredible.
Brandon Walker
It's always the same.
Big Cat
It's the same every time.
Brandon Walker
Every single time. Exactly the same. It doesn't matter who's on the team.
Big Cat
It's just the same.
Kyle
But it was the opposite.
Brandon Walker
Tell me for when you were growing.
Kyle
Up, it was like this. Yeah, of course the Steelers are going to win.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Kyle
So that's something.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. That's interesting. And I said it on web this morning. I'm kind of appreciative because time feels like it's moving so fast, but the Steelers make it feel like it hasn't moved at all.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
When I'm watching that, it's like, oh, life is long. I'm young.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
This is the same.
Big Cat
I'm doing the same thing I was doing seven years ago. So there's no difference.
Brandon Walker
There is nothing that's changed.
Eddie
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
So that's kind of nice. It's like rewatching a movie that, like that, you know, the ending to an anxiety thing.
Kate
It's comfort show.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Big Cat
Was there any point that you guys thought that you were going to win the game?
Marshall
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Halftime, I think.
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you had them in the Steelers.
Brandon Walker
Right where we wanted them.
Big Cat
Seven, six.
Marshall
Beautiful.
Big Cat
Perfect. Just them up. Make them make mistakes.
Brandon Walker
If they, if they keep. Tomlin, Jerry and I are talking about boycotting and then filming and doing something else with our time on Sundays.
Big Cat
What?
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
What do you guys think?
Brandon Walker
We're, we're, we're pitching it. It's back and forth right now. And I don't want to say anything to.
Kyle
Compared to a dessert.
Big Cat
Tomlin to a dessert. Tomlin to a dessert is I would say like a little bit of a stale store bought chocolate chip cookie. You're still gonna eat it.
Kyle
Very good. But we'll never win.
Big Cat
You're still gonna eat it, but you're not gonna be like, wow, that was an incredible chocolate chip cookie.
Brandon Walker
And if you don't want it, somebody else will take it.
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you leave it, it will be taken.
Kyle
That's good. The grocery store or Chips Ahoy.
Big Cat
Yeah, a little bit like. Or like I'm thinking of even the store bought ones. Like with some. Sometimes you stay at a hotel and they're out. They've been out for like all day.
Kyle
A little hard.
Big Cat
You checking it 11pm and you're like, I haven't eaten all day. I guess I'll have this one.
Brandon Walker
I think it has to be chips ahoy because it's. You know exactly what you're getting.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Kyle
Cookie.
Big Cat
It's as standard as possible. It's not something you ever crave, but it's not something you would pass up either.
Brandon Walker
It might be a fortune cookie because it's not going to knock your socks off. It's not the best thing. It's tradition, and it has a quirky quote on the other.
Kyle
That's good.
Big Cat
Yeah. The coaches as desserts.
Brandon Walker
I love that.
Kyle
Coaches as desserts. Okay, who is. Who is saltwater taffy?
Eddie
Oh.
Big Cat
I don't know how I feel about saltwater T. That was too.
Marshall
That was too hard of a.
Brandon Walker
Let's think about it. It's something you only buy for other people on when you're coming back for vacation. Somebody you thought forgot about.
Kate
Old people love it. What's those. Who's a coach that. The old heads really? Like.
Big Cat
I'm thinking, like, what, Like a standard Sunday ice cream Sunday would be like Andy Reid. Yeah, it's good.
Kyle
Banana split.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
It's just gonna be good. You're gonna like it. It's gonna be good.
Brandon Walker
It's not gonna reinvent the wheel. It's not. Yeah, it's good. Good.
Big Cat
It's Good.
Kyle
Who is McDaniel or what is McDaniel?
Big Cat
Mike McDaniel.
Kyle
Yeah.
Big Cat
He's a weed gummy.
Kyle
He's a weed.
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kyle
Can be a vibe.
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah. Kind of. You up a little. It's like, all right, maybe not a weed gummy. Maybe like, you know how they do wheat? Like Skittles with weed in them.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Like three.
Big Cat
So it's a good dessert, but it's also like, I probably ate too many of these. Yeah.
Eddie
You're talking about regular size Skittles or Skittles.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
What size?
Big Cat
Oh.
Eddie
Ooh.
Big Cat
I've never seen the Skittles littles with.
Kyle
They get smaller. They're already pretty small.
Eddie
Che.
Brandon Walker
What do you give Todd bowls?
Eddie
O.
Big Cat
Todd bowls? Might be a bowl of, like, sugar cereal.
Eddie
It needed to be a bowl of something.
Big Cat
It had to be a bowl that's not really a dessert. But you're like, I guess this sati. Satisfies it.
Jay
It's like frozen yogurt, like a flavor.
Big Cat
Oh, no way. Good.
Jay
No. What's the.
Big Cat
The. Oh, halo top.
Jay
Yes, that's it.
Brandon Walker
It halo top's trash, but it looks good on paper.
Big Cat
You eat halo top?
Brandon Walker
Me yeah.
Eddie
What the.
Marshall
I don't.
Big Cat
Yeah, you do.
Brandon Walker
I don't.
Big Cat
You definitely.
Brandon Walker
I'm a sherbet man. A rap.
Eddie
I'm sorry. Halo top's fine. What's wrong with Halo top?
Big Cat
It's nothing. It's gross. I eat ice cream.
Eddie
I think it's fine.
Kate
No, it's bland.
Big Cat
It's bad.
Eddie
Okay. Sorry.
Jay
I like Halo top, too.
Big Cat
Say you like Halo Top.
Connor Griffin
After that, that big, bad, big cat. What were your emotions seeing Aaron Rodgers, perhaps his last pass of his career as a pick six?
Big Cat
I. So, Danny, I don't know if you. I. Because I think it's because the Bears are good. I didn't really feel anything.
Titus
Yeah, we don't care about her anymore.
Connor Griffin
It wasn't funny. It wasn't.
Big Cat
If the Bears were just finishing a four win season, I think I would have been celebrating it. Yeah, it was a Super bowl, but it was just like, oh, okay. I also think he's going to be back.
Connor Griffin
Wow.
Big Cat
I don't know why.
Connor Griffin
I just think he's in Pittsburgh or.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
Well, I think whatever it is is going to draw the decision for a while.
Brandon Walker
Jerry thinks him and Tomlin back one more year.
Big Cat
Oh, man. That will be different.
Marshall
They'll probably lose.
Big Cat
That will. That. That will be crazy if they do that. But it also very Steelers.
Brandon Walker
It'll be very Steelers and like, it's not a great coaching cycle this year, I don't think.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
There's no IT guy.
Big Cat
So you're stuck with Tomlin. Yeah.
Marshall
Yes.
Brandon Walker
Dude.
Big Cat
You got the chocolate chips Ahoy and that you.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Big Cat
And it satisfies you sometimes. This week 18 win was awesome.
Brandon Walker
Yeah. But then he did like the. The blow the kiss to the camera.
Big Cat
I know. After another person up.
Eddie
Yes.
Big Cat
He took credit for another guy's up a miskick and he's like, I did it.
Connor Griffin
I did that again.
Big Cat
Check it out, Steve. We do DraftKings. Oh, I forgot to do Stella Blue. Go to Stella Blue coffee dot com. Save a dog's life. We get the new ready to drink cans. It's very delicious. Stella Blue coffee dot com. We got everything in the store and we're helping save dogs. All right, Stephen, do DraftKings.
Jay
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Big Cat
Opt in King of the court.
Marshall
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Eddie
Don't. I don't like that.
Titus
Don't do that.
Jay
Steve.
Titus
This will be the last week of the wheel, right?
Big Cat
Yeah.
Titus
I'm gonna miss it.
Jay
Two winners.
Big Cat
Two winners this week.
Jay
I don't think anyone won their parlay.
Big Cat
No, because it was that disaster game. Patriots, Chargers game that everything was under. All right, Steven, what do you got for us? Anything?
Jay
I had a. A fairly crude one from.
Big Cat
Oh, wait. Before you start, did you guys see Stephen Chase's Ladder Challenge?
Jay
Oh, not a ladder challenge, but Steven.
Big Cat
Shay's doing a challenge where he's doing a bet every day for seven days, and he starts with $50 in a minus 500 line. The next day, he gets $60, 400. He started last night. He lost.
Eddie
Minus 500.
Big Cat
Minus 500.
Eddie
Got hurt.
Big Cat
Oh, you're not even on that step. You're not even on that step. Dudes, get your ass back down there.
Jay
That has been corrected. That was just a clerical error.
Big Cat
Get your ass back down there.
Jay
We don't celebrate injuries. We don't mock injuries. Yeah, I'm gonna play this week. Tough.
Big Cat
That was so funny.
Brandon Walker
So, Back to square one.
Jay
San Antonio spurs plus 20 and a half tonight at. Okay, so see Oh, I want this.
Big Cat
To lose so bad. Oh, plus what?
Jay
20 minus 495.
Eddie
Oh they kind. They've kind of own the. Yeah.
Jay
30 against him this year.
Connor Griffin
Thunder are do.
Eddie
I could see a blow Thunder dude.
Big Cat
Oh man.
Eddie
Spank him.
Big Cat
The first step appointment television tonight. All right. What were you gonna say?
Jay
We had a conversation. I'm a gambling kid that had on Sunday night. It had me laughing so hard I almost threw up. What I wanted to discuss. So Wonton Don told us that once he was asleep on a bus and pissed his pants. He was so drunk he was asleep and peed his pants. Dana said that he had a friend who was asleep and had a wet dream on a plane. I was wondering who is the less desirable person to be sitting next to.
Brandon Walker
I'm gonna take the come on the plane.
Eddie
Yeah.
Titus
We're sitting next to Brandon right now. He has come in his pants.
Eddie
I think there's a world you don't notice the guy that has the wet dream, right?
Big Cat
Yeah.
Titus
You don't smell it.
Big Cat
You don't notice.
Kyle
I think the boner pisses worse.
Eddie
The piss is way more. I feel like the piss is gonna announce itself a lot loud. More loud pisses.
Brandon Walker
Piss come feels like biohazard to me.
Titus
The piss will escape the pants. It'll get on the floor. It will affect you the come.
Connor Griffin
Yeah. I feel like I wouldn't even notice the come.
Eddie
Yeah. Like he's making. I might be asleep too.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Eddie
So I wake up and he's. And I look over. He's covered in piss. I see that.
Titus
Having a wet dream for during a nap.
Eddie
That's a lot.
Big Cat
That's fucking horniest.
Kyle
Yeah.
Jay
That'S. I. That sounds so bad. You have to notice it if a guy's rocked up and maybe making like potential noises.
Brandon Walker
Oh, I don't want that it be.
Kyle
It'd be worse to see with your eyes.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Was he making noises? He's grunting.
Jay
That. That's what I'm envisioning. He didn't know because his friend was the one that was having it was asleep.
Eddie
Oh, so he was really getting it in perhaps when he was asleep.
Connor Griffin
Sleep.
Jay
Yeah.
Big Cat
Also do get airplane boners. That does happen.
Eddie
I Y' all keep saying that and I. I can't fathom.
Brandon Walker
I'm too nervous to.
Connor Griffin
If the wet dream guy's like thrusting or like rubbing his dick on something.
Kate
I might have to move.
Big Cat
That would have bad.
Connor Griffin
But I pictured on a plane. I pictured him just sitting there and then just busting.
Brandon Walker
Not even asleep. Spontaneous combust yeah, Yeah.
Eddie
I think both are outrageous.
Connor Griffin
But poop?
Big Cat
Oh, that's way worse.
Kyle
That would piss me off.
Big Cat
You. You so mad.
Brandon Walker
Dude on the flight himself next to me.
Kate
That lady who pooped down the aisle. Remember? It was like viral the other day.
Brandon Walker
They had to land the plane.
Kate
Yeah. She, like, ran down the aisle. Poop coming out of her pants.
Big Cat
Oh, man.
Connor Griffin
Like Steve eating seafood.
Brandon Walker
Oh, yeah.
Kate
Solid. That's best case scenario. I feel like his basketball shorts.
Jay
Do you guys think there are.
Big Cat
It was all lobster.
Jay
Yeah, it was expired lobster.
Connor Griffin
Tired lobster slid right out.
Jay
Do you think there are more leather.
Brandon Walker
Belts or leather couches? That's one of the least believable stories ever.
Kyle
Yeah.
Big Cat
Like I said, full log. Full log.
Jay
Didn't someone say that they get that too? Where if you get chili that you have to go number two, like, pretty quickly.
Brandon Walker
I'd feel a big log.
Kyle
I hate to circle unbeknownst.
Brandon Walker
Can't believe it.
Big Cat
Peanuts.
Brandon Walker
Can't believe it just slid out.
Eddie
What is this size leather belts.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Big Cat
What's the Steven stories?
Connor Griffin
Steve ate bad lobster.
Brandon Walker
Expired.
Connor Griffin
Expired lobster.
Big Cat
His father loved buying expired seafood.
Connor Griffin
He was wearing gym shorts, and a solid turd fell out of his butthole through his gym shorts.
Kyle
And he just looked down it on the grass.
Kate
Didn't feel it.
Big Cat
You didn't feel it? There's no way.
Eddie
There's just no way.
Connor Griffin
And he looked down and he said, is that my.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Whose is that?
Kate
And I believe you said it. Not your words on my. It was like the size of a dick.
Eddie
Yeah.
Jay
Yeah.
Eddie
It was big dick.
Big Cat
And he just had no idea it fell out of his ass.
Eddie
So. Ch. Out of your ass?
Kyle
Your underwear, out of your shorts.
Jay
I was running to my car. That makes a difference? It's a lot.
Big Cat
It just fell.
Connor Griffin
Just slid out.
Jay
Why would I lie about pooping my pants?
Big Cat
You didn't feel any stomach pain? It's just like, boom.
Jay
No, my stomach felt numb.
Brandon Walker
I wouldn't.
Big Cat
I would.
Brandon Walker
A guy like me would feel a giant dick coming out of his ass.
Eddie
Yeah. It passes through your butthole. How do you not feel that?
Kate
There's women who don't. Who are like, I didn't know I was pregnant till the baby was coming out. And I'm like, how So I guess if that.
Jay
If that's a thing I knew for your life.
Kyle
Are you ready to swear on this under oath lie detector. Put your hand to God. Describe what happened logistically with this. With this turd.
Jay
I was playing basketball. I was playing great. It was 2000.
Brandon Walker
Don't believe it.
Eddie
Why do you have to have.
Jay
I lived at home with my parents. It was.
Big Cat
How old were you?
Jay
I was 22. Yeah. It was a Sunday. The afternoon games were just.
Big Cat
Or.
Jay
No, the. The one o' clock games had ended and there was like poor afternoon games. So some friends wanted to get together, play basketball. I didn't see them in a long time, so I was like, okay, this feels irrelevant.
Big Cat
You were eating the expired lobster during the games.
Jay
I had it for lunch.
Big Cat
So you were eating your. So let's back.
Jay
I think it was like a sell by date.
Big Cat
Let's back up. You're sitting at home, your parents house.
Eddie
Yeah.
Big Cat
Watching an NFL Sunday.
Jay
Yeah.
Big Cat
Just mowing down some expired lobster.
Jay
I mean, I had the expired lots before the game started, but. Yes.
Big Cat
Yeah. Okay.
Jay
So I was playing and then it was a chillier day, so I was going to. I felt like I had to poop my pants. Like I felt like I had to poop. So I was like, okay, I'm out at. I think the school's name is Holy Trinity. Holy Trinity. And they have a very nice outdoor basketball court. It looks like the Fresh Prince court from that intro where it's all colored, so. But there's no bathrooms. It's outside of a schoolyard. So I was like, oh, fuck, I gotta go. There's no bathroom. I went. There's a. There's a large step.
Eddie
Thank God.
Big Cat
Breaking news.
Jay
Oh, shit.
Big Cat
Huh?
Eddie
Okay.
Connor Griffin
Wow.
Kyle
He's going to.
Connor Griffin
Wow. Thank God.
Kyle
Wow.
Eddie
Wow.
Brandon Walker
Thank you, Mike.
Connor Griffin
Wow.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Eddie
And this what we should talk about from now on and not revisit anything that was already being talked about.
Connor Griffin
Oh, that's huge. You guys asked me that's.
Eddie
Again, Mike Tomlin.
Brandon Walker
Just think that don't add up to that story.
Eddie
Fine.
Jay
Yeah. I didn't put my pants.
Eddie
Ha.
Jay
Sucker. Why?
Eddie
Wait a second. You told me to stop him. We had him stopped and then you re engaged.
Brandon Walker
You're right. My bad.
Eddie
Mike Tomlin. Huh?
Brandon Walker
Is that. Is the Steelers the best available job now? The best opening?
Big Cat
No.
Eddie
No quarterback.
Big Cat
God, no.
Brandon Walker
Ten years guaranteed job security.
Big Cat
Probably more.
Kyle
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
In the NFL.
Eddie
Yeah. But when? I don't. When did Tomlinson.
Brandon Walker
He's there for 19 years.
Eddie
So they had Roethlisberger when he took it.
Brandon Walker
Yes.
Eddie
They don't have that hope now.
Brandon Walker
But still you get so much leeway in a league where if you don't figure out in three years, you're gone.
Eddie
I feel like you got the leeway because Chuck Noel had Bradshaw. Cower came in. Cower kind of went from o' Donnell to Some. Nothing. But then Tomlin had Roethlisberger. I think. I think their. Their longevity is artificially inflated by the fact that they all came in with the quarterback.
Brandon Walker
So you think now the Steelers will be a franchise like the others?
Marshall
Where.
Eddie
I think they could. I think without the stability at quarterback. I think that propped up the stability of the coaches to an artificial degree.
Big Cat
I'd rather have the Ravens job. I maybe would rather have the Giants job.
Brandon Walker
You're kidding.
Big Cat
Don't have a young quarterback back.
Eddie
Well, well, congrats.
Big Cat
Now you can keep watching the Steelers.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, that's good.
Big Cat
That's huge.
Brandon Walker
That's good.
Kate
Who would you. In a dream world, who's coming in?
Eddie
Harbaugh, right?
Brandon Walker
No.
Big Cat
Oh, no. Same thing. Well, I mean, that would just be. You'd just be doing the same thing. He had the same thing with the Ravens going.
Kate
Belich.
Connor Griffin
What if they.
Eddie
He wanted to bow with Flecker ago.
Marshall
Right.
Big Cat
But that was 12 years ago. Four, 13 years ago. Like, he kind of within the similar situation of like, always being good enough to be in the playoffs, but never actually.
Brandon Walker
There are three open jobs in the AFC North. It would be funny if they all just traded.
Big Cat
Yeah. Yeah.
Connor Griffin
There's three open jobs. And the Bagels guys still.
Big Cat
Zach Taylor, he's still like, what the. Dude, what did I do?
Brandon Walker
I don't know. Somebody young.
Big Cat
I just like saying I quote cheat. Every time Shefter announces a firing, I say, why? Just so everyone can get mad underneath the comments. Huh.
Brandon Walker
So you felt like you had to, but then the feeling went away. But you didn't know whose was on the ground.
Big Cat
Felt like you had to.
Jay
Sorry.
Brandon Walker
That doesn't matter.
Connor Griffin
It doesn't matter.
Brandon Walker
It doesn't matter.
Big Cat
You guys don't want spilling up there.
Connor Griffin
Yeah, no, it happened. It definitely happened.
Kate
But it was clean. There was no need to wipe.
Connor Griffin
There have been more Popes than Steelers head coaches since 19.
Brandon Walker
A lot more.
Kate
Six popes.
Connor Griffin
Wow.
Big Cat
They're old.
Kate
I didn't realize we were blowing through them.
Connor Griffin
How long is like the typical Pope tenure?
Eddie
Well, JP2 went.
Kate
Went a while, but I guess not.
Connor Griffin
Yeah, I don't think that's that surprising. No, I like, every Pope that becomes Pope is old as well.
Brandon Walker
Like 80.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
It would make sense that we've had.
Eddie
Some quick Popes lately, though.
Big Cat
No, it's crazier to say that the Steelers are now looking for a new head coach for the third time since 1969.
Connor Griffin
Yeah. That's crazy.
Big Cat
Yeah, that's a crazy, crazy stat. Yeah, I kind of. We already Taped some of pmt. So now we're gonna redo it. But I was basically saying in it I was like he. Tomlin should want to walk away.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Big Cat
There's nothing looks like he did. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. Like he should. He should want to leave.
Brandon Walker
He's going to do tv, right?
Big Cat
Yeah. For a year and then he'll get a new job somewhere.
Kyle
And now do you guys celebrate him for what he's done with you guys for sure.
Brandon Walker
I think so, yeah.
Big Cat
Yeah. The fact that he walked away makes it a little bit like if you dragged it out another year, I think it would have gotten ugly.
Brandon Walker
When do you think that was decided?
Big Cat
Probably right after the game. Probably right around the. The fourth quarter.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
You think he coaches again like a head coach in the NFL?
Big Cat
Yeah. Some team will. He's a leader of men. He is.
Connor Griffin
These guys are just different man.
Big Cat
He is. I will say the. The greatest thing that Tomlin has on his resume is that he was able to keep a locker room of Levon Bell, Ben Rosberger and Antonio Brown somewhat together.
Brandon Walker
Artavis Bryant was on that.
Big Cat
Yeah. Like he did. He did kind of keep those guys. They all went well. Ben had his own issues but like you know, Antonio Brown basically lost his mind after he left.
Brandon Walker
As soon as they left. Yeah.
Big Cat
So there's something there. Players coach. So the came out.
Kyle
That's all. How did it come out? Describe the ship portion of the story.
Jay
Consistency. Six and a half out ten of.
Connor Griffin
Of ten. What.
Eddie
What.
Connor Griffin
How are you. What's a ten out of ten? Why would you have a half?
Brandon Walker
What's a ten? Is that hard?
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
What's hard?
Jay
Yeah. Density, hardness.
Kyle
Okay.
Jay
Why are you guys asking questions? You don't want the answer.
Kyle
I just want you to say exactly what happened cuz I don't.
Big Cat
I did and I kept getting cut off portion.
Jay
You guys are asking me these questions.
Kyle
Say the came out of your ass through your underwear, through your shorts and landed on the ground without you knowing. Just say the that.
Jay
Have I not. Yes, that's. That's exactly what.
Connor Griffin
That's what happened.
Kyle
So I just want it on record.
Jay
Yes.
Big Cat
Like as you were walking I was.
Jay
Running to my car.
Eddie
So in this.
Jay
It was like the step before I stepped shot out.
Eddie
In this madeup scenario, you. It just. It just popped out.
Jay
I hope you guys don't think I my.
Kate
Is there a chance that didn't your.
Connor Griffin
Pants you through the ground you the ground?
Marshall
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
It didn't touch your pants or your.
Big Cat
Leg or Was it a dog turd.
Kate
And the feeling went away Lie I had.
Jay
Have you guys ever had like a.
Connor Griffin
This is the biggest lie it's ever been. Not happen.
Eddie
I don't know what numb tummy feels like.
Connor Griffin
That's the biggest lie I've ever.
Big Cat
Numb tummy.
Eddie
But again, that's your tummy. What about your. It has to go through. It has to go through your. You didn't feel that?
Jay
No, my stomach was numb.
Titus
His stomach doesn't matter though your would have to be numb in order for you not to feel it.
Jay
Fine. I don't care if you believe me. If I On the.
Connor Griffin
I don't. I don't believe.
Jay
Good cuz I don't care.
Connor Griffin
I don't believe you.
Brandon Walker
We.
Kyle
We don't believe gay.
Connor Griffin
We don't believe you at all, brother. Respectfully, we don't believe you.
Titus
It's like what an 80 year old does. They can't even tell they themselves. I don't think you want that narrative, Steve.
Jay
I don't. I haven't talked about the story in years. I think.
Big Cat
Can we get. Can we call a friend? They see the.
Jay
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Have we ever tried.
Kate
Can we pull it up on Google Maps and see the exact.
Big Cat
Yeah, I would like to see like I did.
Jay
I did go back after and tell them that I did my pants.
Big Cat
I don't know if they saw it. You didn't.
Connor Griffin
Your pants, however you want to phrase it.
Jay
Why is this coming up today?
Big Cat
Because I. I don't know.
Brandon Walker
Can't talk about mints.
Kyle
How loose were your boxer shorts?
Big Cat
How big were the. The basketball shorts?
Jay
It's 2008. So I mean there's were they.
Brandon Walker
And I had to so bad but now I don't have to. But that can't be my turn on the ground.
Big Cat
Did you. Did you. Did you get mad at your dad for the expired lobster?
Jay
Oh, yeah.
Connor Griffin
How does expired lobster produce a solid log? That's. That's diarrhea.
Brandon Walker
Che. Will you eat expired lobster and we can test this to see if.
Big Cat
And have you run around on the court.
Jay
I think it has more to do with the weather situation.
Big Cat
Okay, well, how.
Eddie
How.
Jay
Yes. You guys don't want to talk about this?
Eddie
No, no, no, no, no. I'm. I'm.
Big Cat
I'm having fun.
Eddie
How would weather have had an effect there?
Big Cat
I'm enjoying this.
Connor Griffin
He said so deep.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Jay
I've told you several times that if I get chilly and I'm not dressed appropriately, then I have to poop.
Big Cat
If you get chilly. Cold. Not eating.
Jay
Correct.
Big Cat
And you don't address a pro. So we got to test this. We got to get you chilly.
Eddie
See, if you poop 40 degrees outside and you wear a T shirt and shorts, you're going to have to poop.
Big Cat
It's numb tummy.
Connor Griffin
So if you went to the bears knowing it, did it fall out of.
Kyle
Your ass like a skydiver or did it hit your underwear at all or your shorts?
Big Cat
Did it.
Jay
It slide?
Kyle
It just fell right. Did it like, right through your holes? Three holes.
Connor Griffin
Like. Like the. The guy jumped off the Titanic and hit the propeller.
Kyle
It had to have hit your garments.
Big Cat
Yeah. Was there anything? Was there. Is there any sign of it when you went to check your underwear so your under us.
Jay
So this happened. My next step is the car in which I sit down and then I drive for a mile and a half.
Big Cat
Wait, so you didn't know you. You did. You look back and saw it?
Jay
I have one foot on the car, and I see it. At which point? What am I gonna do then?
Big Cat
But you knew it was yours?
Jay
Yes.
Big Cat
Okay.
Titus
I mean, what route could the pooh have taken in order to not hit anything?
Big Cat
Could it have been just like a dog?
Jay
Oh, no, brother. That was my brother.
Connor Griffin
Brother.
Big Cat
Brother also.
Titus
So the expired lobster is kind of irrelevant because the cold is really what made you yourself.
Jay
Yeah, it's a combination. You guys, for bringing this up. You guys are such. You guys are all asking me to corroborate the story I told, like, three years ago.
Eddie
Being.
Jay
When I respond, someone lying to us.
Kyle
The event you're describing is, like, once in an eon. Can never happen to another human.
Big Cat
We're talking about seeing Haley's comet.
Connor Griffin
If. If KB Told me he was abducted by aliens, I'd have fewer questions.
Jay
That's fine. I UFO a couple years ago too. Right.
Brandon Walker
Right.
Connor Griffin
Any other coaches fired?
Brandon Walker
Jay, I'm sorry for getting you riled up.
Big Cat
Can we recreate it, though, Jay?
Jay
It's tough, but, I mean, if we go to a grocery store and I'm in a T shirt, then it'll probably happen.
Big Cat
Numb tummy. I want to get chase tummy so numb. Just to find out what it produces.
Brandon Walker
We should all do it.
Big Cat
The numb tummy challenge.
Kyle
It's not even the numbness. The path that it had.
Connor Griffin
It's the path of the turd. I keep going back to.
Big Cat
Left or right.
Jay
I don't remember. I think right. I don't know. I don't know how. How it exactly came. I didn't feel it. I just saw it on the ground.
Kate
Can I ask how it was laying in the ground. Sorry. Was it like, how do you think.
Jay
A turd is laying on the dumb.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Kate
Hey, quit.
Big Cat
Quit prying.
Eddie
Stupid ass.
Big Cat
Were your shorts a little askew? Like, you know how, like, if you pull your shirt.
Eddie
That's the best.
Titus
Yeah.
Eddie
Damn.
Marshall
Hate.
Big Cat
Yeah. Like, were your shirts a little screwed up?
Jay
What is this question you're asking?
Connor Griffin
They got to be, like, the quadruple X.
Kyle
The shorts, biggest shorts, biggest underwear.
Titus
Yeah, actually, the underwear.
Eddie
This is how.
Connor Griffin
The underwear.
Marshall
This is.
Brandon Walker
This is like the JFK assassination.
Kyle
We're hyping you up. You deserve, like, a segment on 60 Minutes.
Big Cat
Yeah, I never heard a guy who.
Kyle
Got impaled by a rod through his chest and it missed his organs by, like, a nanometer.
Big Cat
Yeah. You're the man who's shot in the head, and it's like, got straight through the brain, missed everything. Yeah. I don't know.
Jay
Know. How is this coming up today? This is a story.
Titus
I had never heard it. And they ref.
Big Cat
I don't know. Did we reference it or did I think it was your fault because you started talking about coming on a plane and.
Connor Griffin
Oh, we're talking about pooping.
Big Cat
Yeah. Naturally, we segued into this.
Jay
Okay. All right.
Big Cat
But now I want to bring it up, like, once a month.
Connor Griffin
I do, too. Just.
Jay
Yeah.
Titus
I think we could focus on a different part each time. We seem to skip over the part where he doesn't feel like at all coming.
Jay
I'm going to be very clear. I don't mind talking about this at all. But if you guys are going to ask. Act bored. Like, you're not asking me these questions.
Big Cat
Completely. That is fair, because you're not bored. I'm not bored right now.
Jay
All right, well, I see Brandon cringing and slouching back. I see Titus calling me a liar to my face.
Big Cat
It's frustration.
Connor Griffin
Can I stop you there? I think the whole room is calling you a liar, for what it's worth. Jay.
Eddie
Jay. I also think they get the lie.
Big Cat
I don't give a. I was trying to show.
Eddie
Yo.
Big Cat
How many. How many guys were playing hoops?
Eddie
Say, man. May I say one thing? It's just an observation.
Big Cat
Oh, this could be explosion.
Titus
Don't.
Jay
No. Brandon's been fine.
Eddie
The angrier you get, the more of a lie it seems.
Big Cat
Yeah, but why would he lie about this?
Jay
Yes. This doesn't make me look good in any way.
Eddie
Way.
Big Cat
It does make you look like maybe prophet or some type of. Some type of angel.
Eddie
Yeah, and while we're here, you didn't run a 4. 4.
Big Cat
Oh, no.
Brandon Walker
All right, that's.
Jay
I don't care. If the guy lied to me, then that's on him. I believe what I was told.
Marshall
That's.
Brandon Walker
That is too far.
Big Cat
Too far. How many people were playing basketball?
Jay
I think at that point, the numbers had dwindled a little bit. We did have. Have fours, and I feel like maybe it was twos or threes at that point.
Big Cat
Do you have anyone you could call?
Jay
I'm not really tight with that group anymore.
Marshall
Yeah, we can't hang out.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, that's last time we hung.
Connor Griffin
I.
Brandon Walker
Kate, any questions? I guess that was the last time I hung out with those.
Titus
I haven't spoken to them since that day.
Eddie
Oh, man. It makes sense.
Connor Griffin
There you go, Danny. That's the story.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Now you know.
Titus
Allegedly.
Brandon Walker
And also him not talking to them anymore makes me believe it fully.
Titus
All the witnesses are dead.
Big Cat
Okay.
Titus
Sorry for asking, Steve. Just curious about my friend.
Big Cat
Way to go, Danny.
Jay
Again, I don't mind talking about it. It's more that you guys are being dickheads.
Kyle
Do you understand?
Connor Griffin
We were.
Brandon Walker
We were all right.
Eddie
On the other side. On the other sheet.
Brandon Walker
I'm thankful for you and your stories.
Eddie
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Big Cat
Okay.
Connor Griffin
Connor.
Big Cat
Connor.
Jay
Hey.
Big Cat
I have two questions. One is for another ad, but the first is you're. You. You're mad at Lynn Jones.
Marshall
I never said I was mad at Lynn Jones.
Big Cat
I just said sounds like you're mad.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Marshall
You can't be doing that in a press conference.
Eddie
But you can though.
Brandon Walker
You can't.
Big Cat
She did.
Eddie
You can.
Big Cat
You can and she did.
Eddie
It's fine.
Marshall
Yeah. There she's. It's not like she's going to be like, you know, taken out of there. Never allowed back in that facility. But that just not. You can't. You can't do that.
Connor Griffin
And by that you mean. Mean be butt ugly.
Big Cat
I only.
Connor Griffin
You can't be that ugly.
Big Cat
She had 34 double Ds.
Eddie
If Aaron. Andrew asked the same question.
Marshall
If Aaron Andrews had said that, I absolutely would have had the same criticism.
Big Cat
No way.
Marshall
Yes, I would have.
Brandon Walker
You're not.
Marshall
Even though I love Aaron.
Brandon Walker
Are you attractive?
Marshall
Love Aaron Andrews. Oh, Shay, how about that fur coat the other day?
Kate
Great coat.
Jay
Incredible.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
What was with the fur coat? Oh, did you saw the fur coat? I saw it, but I didn't think.
Eddie
Oh, Connor has a lot of opinions on the coat.
Marshall
Only because you guys asked me for my opinion. Opinion.
Brandon Walker
I wasn't gonna come out.
Big Cat
Sounds like you got a lot of opinions on the fur coat.
Marshall
I just said it was. It was a good coat. It was 40 mile an hour winds. You got to stay warm.
Big Cat
It's just a fur coat, but everybody was doing it.
Eddie
A lot of coat.
Big Cat
Yeah, it's a nice fur coat. Yeah. Was that skunk?
Marshall
That's fake.
Eddie
I think it's fox.
Marshall
Yeah, fake fox.
Big Cat
How do you know that?
Eddie
We looked it up.
Brandon Walker
Fake fox. What?
Big Cat
She's on fox.
Eddie
It's fake. Yeah, it's fake fur, but it's. It's fox.
Connor Griffin
Real fox.
Brandon Walker
Yeah.
Marshall
Nothing against Lynn Jones, nothing against Aaron Andrews, nothing against the coat.
Big Cat
But just if. If you're gonna ask those questions, be a little hot.
Connor Griffin
You gotta be hot.
Brandon Walker
Would you have her back to a press conference after a stunt like that?
Marshall
Lynn Jones we're talking about? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you have to. She's been around for 30 years. But you know, I'm fine with what she said. It's just that, you know, you could say that in private. You could say that. Not during a press conference. That's all.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Kyle
I'm interested in being swayed. Why can't you?
Marshall
Professionalism, it's the. The sense. The number one rule is you don't cheer in the press box, you don't show that you're a fan of the team. You don't do anything that's like that because it shows favoritism and it shows that you're not.
Eddie
Counterpoint.
Marshall
The impartial journalist. You should be.
Connor Griffin
Okay, you think the woman that's been covering the Jacksonville Jaguars for 30 years is impartial, Marshall. And has no feelings one way or another about the Jaguars?
Marshall
Yeah, no, I'm saying if not for.
Connor Griffin
This stuff, this was her taking the mask off, and it's like, oh, my God, you're a Jaguars fan.
Big Cat
And the whole time. And she was ugly.
Connor Griffin
And she was. And she was ugly.
Marshall
Yeah. And like, when I was. I don't know why we keep going back to the ugly thing. Yeah, she's a lovely lady, but, yeah, there's. There's just a certain level of, like.
Big Cat
Would you, though, on both.
Marshall
Both levels, Would I ask that question? And then would I?
Connor Griffin
Yeah, would you?
Big Cat
Would you? Would you? Would you? And would you?
Titus
Would you, in that order.
Marshall
Out of respect? No.
Big Cat
Which one?
Marshall
What are we talking. What are we talking about? Lynn Jones. Out of respect. No, to Lynn Jones. And out of respect, would you.
Kyle
What?
Marshall
What do we.
Eddie
No, but if you were.
Big Cat
But if she was, like, tight with you, would you.
Marshall
Out of respect now. Okay, because we're talking about professionalism here. That would be unprofessional. Yes.
Brandon Walker
Is telling somebody to keep their head up bias?
Marshall
It's just. It's a form of consoling. It's a form of, oh, my God. Like, people can view it as sucking up. Like, people can. It's not. I'm not saying they have to be holding this guy's feet to the fire unless, like, you know, oh, fuck Liam Cohen, and why'd you do this during the game? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you do get a certain amount of questions throughout the course of a press conference. As a. As a room of reporters, you have to divvy up these questions.
Big Cat
Oh, yeah. You gotta think of no one.
Marshall
That was one of them.
Connor Griffin
And, hey, no one gotta ask, how do you feel after that?
Marshall
And if I'm a type person, if there is a reporter who asks a question like that, they're a terrible reporter. Don't ask a question like that. I think there are plenty of reporters who are soft by asking bad questions, and I critique those people, too. This, I don't want to say was soft, but it was like. It was just a different form of. Yeah, you're not asking the right questions.
Kyle
But is that, like, in the handbook. You can't do that. You should.
Big Cat
In the handbook.
Marshall
That's absolutely in the handbook.
Connor Griffin
Who wrote the handbook? Where's the handbook come from?
Marshall
Everything that you're taught in journalism courses, everything you're taught to get certified. Everything. Like you're. You're not supposed to be showing favoritism to certain coaches or players. You're not supposed to be. Be, you know, their buddy. You're supposed to be somebody who's asking insightful questions. And again, if there's somebody who says, what about that third down? That's not an insightful question. They're also not doing their job. So it goes both ways.
Connor Griffin
So we can you and I be friends?
Big Cat
Yeah. What do you mean?
Connor Griffin
I don't know.
Marshall
We're not journalists.
Connor Griffin
I mean kind of.
Marshall
I. I do not think.
Connor Griffin
We're not actual journalists.
Eddie
No.
Connor Griffin
Okay.
Marshall
This. We. We chose. We choose to do this. We choose to talk about.
Connor Griffin
All right.
Marshall
Farting and all right.
Big Cat
So why we really have you in here though?
Marshall
Sex and all that type of stuff.
Big Cat
What's up? Bumble is a new sponsor. How's everyone feeling stepping in New Year? I'll be honest, I dropped my resolutions pretty fast. I actually still going to the gym, Kyle. But maybe that's the point. You don't need a whole new you to find someone great. You just need to show up as your real self through Bumble. Profiles on Bumble are designed to show your personality, interests and lifestyle. And a rich which visual way you can quickly get a genuine sense of someone's vibe and have natural conversations through prompts. Prompts take the pressure off small talk and make it easier for others to start real conversations. They help your profile feel in intentional and relatable. So you invite matches who get your vibe from the start. And chats feel more natural and easy. Showcase more of you and find people that get your vibe on Bumble. Download the app today. So you're here because Bumble's a new sponsor? Bun Bumble is sponsoring the Connor Griffin dating show. What?
Kyle
It's happening not know this.
Big Cat
We are going to find you a match.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
And we don't have any plans yet, but we wanted to at least introduce it because I think we should probably start with getting some applications. How are we going to do this, tj? Do we know?
Marshall
We got to put an application together. So when we did the Malisek one, we had him like tell us privately like his non negotiables whether it's like, like going to sleep at this hour or smoking or whatever. That way we can, like, put these questions into a sheet, but if we.
Big Cat
Say it out loud, then people are.
Marshall
Just going to lie and get around that. So, like, we got to talk to Connor privately and we'll put out a publicly.
Connor Griffin
I mean, one is like, ugly. Like ugly.
Big Cat
If you're ugly head.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Marshall
So, yeah.
Jay
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
One concern. This is going to be all the same girls that did the malice equal one.
Marshall
You think?
Big Cat
No, I do.
Kyle
Do we have the reach to other girls?
Big Cat
Yeah, we definitely do. And Connor's a way more appealing candidate, Right?
Brandon Walker
That's true.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Kate
To keep it exciting, do you guys want me to sprinkle in one predator?
Brandon Walker
Yeah, grab one.
Kate
You want me to find one chick?
Big Cat
What are you looking for, Connor?
Marshall
I don't know. What should I say? A nice leg lady. A nice lady.
Eddie
That's all. Okay.
Big Cat
Has to be involved.
Marshall
I'm not gonna say. Head would be nice. Head would be, like, an absolute necessity. Yes. I'm kidding, kidding, kidding.
Big Cat
But not.
Brandon Walker
Wait, so, like, if there was somebody that didn't give head at all ever. You're fine.
Marshall
Yeah, I'm fine.
Big Cat
No, you're not fine. You need head. Yeah.
Marshall
We. We probably should pull up the Travis Kelsey.
Connor Griffin
This is the Travis Kelsey clip.
Big Cat
All over Travis Kelsey clips.
Connor Griffin
Travis, Kelsey, what are the odds we.
Brandon Walker
See you kiss on camera during Zero.
Kate
Oh.
Eddie
Oh, come on.
Big Cat
I would like it to be higher than 0.
Eddie
10%.
Big Cat
Zero is like zero feels when you say zero odds to something. It just. It's like there are zero odds that someone could play a game of basketball and then have that's the closest fall out of your shorts. That's zero odds.
Connor Griffin
That's what we're talking about, Connor.
Eddie
If it's zero, you're forcing zero. You're making sure that you're not doing it. But 10 means if the mood hits you just right and you just fall in love immediately, you got to do it.
Marshall
I'm. I'm a private type of guy.
Big Cat
Oh, good thing we're doing this show.
Marshall
Oh. When it comes to, you know, that type of stuff. Yeah. I. I don't know if I want to put that.
Eddie
You send a text to the mostly sports group chat every time you get.
Marshall
Late, just not blowing them up.
Eddie
Yeah. Bone city is what you.
Brandon Walker
I believe you say population me.
Marshall
I send you guys a text when I'm like, I do my laundry like that. It's. It's the most basic boring stuff. Like, I'm not sending you guys any of these.
Jay
Boring guy.
Kyle
He does that.
Big Cat
All right, let's do rapid fire preferences.
Marshall
Okay.
Big Cat
Height.
Marshall
I vary on height.
Brandon Walker
Shorter or taller than you?
Marshall
Well, I mean, shorter, preferably.
Brandon Walker
Would you like to be a short girl or like a. I. I've gone both.
Big Cat
Is there any limit to height?
Marshall
No, not really.
Eddie
Perfect. Six, eight, perfect height. Go 68.
Marshall
Actually, six, eight would be interesting. Just out of curiosity.
Eddie
Five, seven.
Kate
Climber. Like a tree?
Marshall
Yeah, yeah, like five, seven, five, eight.
Big Cat
Hair color?
Eddie
Hair color.
Marshall
I am not exclusive with this, but I typically lean more towards Burnett. Well, again, that's not a. Not a deal.
Eddie
You're not going to offend anybody. Just.
Marshall
Well, I just. I don't want to get into deal breakers and all that type of stuff.
Eddie
Curly hair, straight hair.
Marshall
It doesn't matter.
Big Cat
Pro life or pro choice? That does matter. That does matter.
Marshall
We could cover that on a second day.
Brandon Walker
That's big.
Big Cat
Okay.
Marshall
That's typically. Oh, I go back and forth on that as well.
Big Cat
What do you mean?
Brandon Walker
You talk fake or natty?
Marshall
Tits, preferably natty.
Big Cat
You want the big natties? You want Matt? Natties or little natties? You like fat natty?
Marshall
It's about the personality. It's about the personality.
Big Cat
But if you had to choose, are you a tits guy or an ass guy?
Connor Griffin
What's the thing you notice first?
Marshall
It's been a constant evolution, and I think as I've gotten older, I. I've. Yeah. Swayed here and there. I probably. I'd have to go tits, most likely.
Big Cat
Okay. All right.
Marshall
They're more fun to play with.
Kate
Good.
Big Cat
Yeah. Are you. Oh, my God. Are you interested in guys? No.
Marshall
No.
Eddie
Okay.
Big Cat
Because some of us.
Eddie
Here Friday, you'll. You'll. Yeah, yeah.
Marshall
No, if I see.
Big Cat
Don't turn it off.
Marshall
Don't turn off the possibility of having.
Big Cat
Yeah, let's.
Marshall
If you want to.
Eddie
Yeah.
Marshall
If we want to throw a guy in there just to. If he's breathtaking. If he's breathtaking and maybe he makes it all the way through. Through. And because we are going to do this probably, I'm assuming we're going to start blind, right? With all these.
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marshall
Would you. Yeah, maybe there's, like a blind resume in there and it happens to be a dude.
Connor Griffin
Okay, but what about blind. What about blind women?
Big Cat
Yeah. What if we did a blind resume, but it was all blind women?
Marshall
That'd be fine as well.
Connor Griffin
You could. You'd love a blind woman.
Marshall
Yeah, I'm not turned off to anything.
Eddie
Wheelchair.
Titus
What?
Brandon Walker
Would you stop dying your eyebrows if you were dating a blind woman?
Connor Griffin
Woman.
Big Cat
Good question.
Marshall
No, I can never go back to the blonde eyebrows.
Eddie
You were. You Were telling us which races you don't want.
Marshall
No, I.
Brandon Walker
That was a long list.
Big Cat
Yeah, I'm.
Marshall
I'm open.
Big Cat
Would have been easier to just say whites only. No, no, I'm.
Marshall
I'm open to anything.
Big Cat
Wheelchair.
Marshall
Yeah, wheelchair, Absolutely.
Big Cat
Okay.
Marshall
We talked about it on there.
Eddie
Yeah.
Marshall
Very beautiful women.
Big Cat
What about Cowboys fan?
Marshall
That be fine, too.
Jay
Wow.
Big Cat
I think I've also.
Marshall
I've said on this show before, too, I think it's kind of fun. It's a little bit of a. A fun thing to have, like, a rivalry within the. The household.
Big Cat
That does sound fun. What about a.
Eddie
What if she.
Big Cat
White supremacist.
Eddie
A joa. New tattoo.
Kyle
Ooh.
Marshall
Tattoos is something I struggle with.
Titus
Oh.
Marshall
Not trying to figure out exactly my. My thoughts on them, because some can be tasteful, some cannot.
Brandon Walker
What if it's a chick that used to date Titus?
Marshall
Yeah, that automatic. She's ruined automatic now.
Brandon Walker
Why is that?
Kate
Well, that would be a wheelchair.
Connor Griffin
What if it's a chick that's married right now, right this second. You.
Marshall
You keep this.
Connor Griffin
It's a hypothetical, Connor.
Marshall
I love your wife. Not in that way.
Big Cat
Age.
Connor Griffin
Age.
Big Cat
Like, we're talking like, 16 to.
Eddie
Over the 1834 demographic.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
What's the. What's the. How old are you?
Marshall
I am 26.
Big Cat
Would you, like, date someone who's 30?
Marshall
Yeah, I would.
Big Cat
Would you date someone that's 21.
Eddie
For.
Marshall
Yeah, for the sake. Yeah. Just to see where it goes. Sure.
Eddie
19.
Marshall
No.
Big Cat
35. Yeah.
Marshall
Fuck it.
Eddie
14.
Marshall
But primarily, you know, not to pour my heart and soul out here. I would like to have kids someday. I would like to be.
Big Cat
What if they come pre. Kids? Like, they already have kids Loaded up. Yeah, Kids already.
Eddie
Oh, just say no. That's what you want us. You're not saying anything you want to say.
Marshall
I don't want to decrease the.
Big Cat
The applicant pool.
Marshall
I don't want to.
Connor Griffin
This is the exact opposite of Alice.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Yeah. I don't every single way. But that being said, you might pick three women at the end.
Marshall
I. I will be in such a mental pretzel throughout this entire thing. What is this?
Eddie
What are you doing?
Brandon Walker
You can't just walk in here with.
Kyle
Gloves on to see if you guys would notice.
Marshall
Notice right away. You know, I don't want to turn anybody.
Connor Griffin
Can you break up with a woman? Well, is that something that you feel comfortable doing? Look, we're down to five contestants. You got to will it down to four. Look in a girl's eye and say, it's not you, babe.
Marshall
I mean, I'll have to do it. Sorry, I'll have to do it. But I. I will not be good at it whatsoever.
Brandon Walker
Do you think there's a chance you cry on camera?
Marshall
Yes, that. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, not because necessarily I would feel this, like such strong attachment to somebody that I have to let go. Just because. Yeah, I would be in that spot where I. I would feel like such a terrible person and I would not want to do that to somebody if I would be like hurting their feelings or. I don't know if this is just a Chicago thing or if we had people fly in for the. The Malicex show or if.
Big Cat
Yeah, we sure did.
Marshall
In an af. They flew in just for this and then I sent it back. Oh, I'd feel like a terrible person. Person.
Eddie
What about what you're going to bring to the table as far as the performative aspect? Do you feel okay crooning to a woman?
Big Cat
Yeah.
Eddie
Okay.
Marshall
Pruning. Maybe some magic tricks.
Eddie
Okay.
Kate
Grind, line, grind.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Eddie
Well, stand up there.
Big Cat
Like, I want to see how you ejaculate.
Jay
No.
Big Cat
Okay, that's. Well, you said you're open to everything, so I'm just. Yeah, sure. True. Yeah.
Brandon Walker
How would you.
Big Cat
Yeah, well, they want to see your face because you.
Marshall
Oh, the face.
Brandon Walker
Just the face will put up a.
Big Cat
Yeah, not the actual penis. Dude, that's gross.
Connor Griffin
It's disgusting.
Big Cat
Yeah, I know the face. They want to see your. Your old face.
Brandon Walker
What if she's like, you got to stop going to these young girl pop sensation concerts alone.
Eddie
A.
Marshall
They've never been alone.
Big Cat
They've never been alone. Never. You've never gone to a concert alone?
Kyle
Rodrigo.
Marshall
Rodrigo. I. I took Brandon's sister. Shout out, Kate.
Connor Griffin
Hug me, brother.
Kate
All right.
Big Cat
Oh, what about Brandon's sister?
Marshall
What?
Eddie
Now wait a minute.
Big Cat
In the pool.
Eddie
Hold on.
Connor Griffin
The candidates time.
Big Cat
You're open to everything.
Marshall
Open everything.
Eddie
That's not.
Marshall
Co workers friends. I'll.
Big Cat
Oh, that would be an interesting.
Eddie
If we did it just co workers.
Big Cat
Who's Connor gonna date in the office?
Eddie
I'd like to see how long the sign up she gets for that one.
Marshall
Yeah, yeah, whatever works. I don't want to just like cut off possibilities. I want this to be as big and as fun as it can be because obviously, yeah, we've done it now. This would be the third time. I want it to still be fresh and everything. So.
Brandon Walker
Whatever.
Marshall
Whatever works.
Brandon Walker
I think you're so different from malice. Like, you're going to go on these dates.
Marshall
You're going.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Marshall
No, it was so reluctant. If I wind up, you know this winds up with a person that wins the whole thing. Whatever. If we get that far in the process and the winner gets a date with me. Yeah. I'm going to go on the date. I love going on dates. Dates are fun.
Kate
Also can we help craft your perfect bumble profile?
Marshall
While I think that I would love to part of it.
Big Cat
This is getting difficult because you are so not picky.
Eddie
But.
Marshall
But I'm.
Big Cat
We're bringing in a 40 year old dude that doesn't like head.
Eddie
Yeah. But we're going to see.
Big Cat
And you're going to have to send.
Eddie
Him away during the dating process. We're going to see quirks we don't see now. And they're going to be fantastic.
Marshall
Correct. Yes.
Connor Griffin
Has to turn you off. You're hinting at tattoos. Is there. Is there something. No. No.
Marshall
I. I see because now I'm not.
Connor Griffin
Want to say tattoos but not.
Eddie
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
You're walking it back. There is a turnoff. What's the number one turn off?
Brandon Walker
Super jacked.
Big Cat
Yeah. The one. The number one turnoff of Connor Griffin Ugly.
Marshall
I don't know.
Big Cat
Bad press.
Kate
Could you do.
Marshall
Yeah.
Kate
Like she little dog in a purse she carries everywhere.
Connor Griffin
Like would that bother you about bad hygiene?
Marshall
Like a foo foo dog bad hygiene is. Is up there.
Kate
What if she like doesn't always shave her legs and she only shaves her ankles sometimes. Sometimes when she's going to be wearing.
Eddie
Kate, are you entering this company?
Kate
You said you can't.
Connor Griffin
You can't think of a turn off.
Titus
Weird red flags.
Eddie
Let's get into.
Marshall
I mean, I mean the main thing. The main thing. There are no like turn offs that I have when it comes to first meeting somebody. If I'm. But if I'm actually trying to like get into a relationship with somebody and then I see red flags.
Big Cat
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
What was the last. The last time you remember thinking this is a turn off off about a woman. What was it? What was the context?
Marshall
It was a. A bad relationship with their family.
Connor Griffin
Okay.
Big Cat
Oh it. So that was.
Marshall
But again that's like a deeper.
Brandon Walker
She had a bad relationship with you.
Marshall
Did she had a bad relationship with her family.
Eddie
Oh about facial piercings.
Marshall
Fine with that.
Big Cat
Have you broken up with a girl before?
Marshall
Kind of. Yes.
Big Cat
That sounds like you got broken up with.
Marshall
It was. It was a weird situation.
Connor Griffin
You got dumped and then you said yeah.
Big Cat
Then you're like we both decided to. Yeah. Both thought it was better if I got dumped.
Brandon Walker
If I got dumped.
Marshall
Yeah, mutually. But it kind of stemmed back to what I was saying earlier. Where Even if it's somebody, a rando who I just met, I still feel terrible breaking up. Not breaking up with them, but sending them home. So when I get into a relationship and then I realize this isn't going to work out and then I have to be the one breaking up, I get really heavy, hesitant.
Brandon Walker
But, Connor, if she flew out here from California and you don't like her, you can't keep her around.
Marshall
Exactly. Which.
Kate
Yeah, but they'll know that coming into.
Big Cat
It, this is possible.
Kate
What if she has a crummy.
Brandon Walker
Do we have a designated dumper? Do you want to have somebody come in and are you willing to dump?
Big Cat
Steve Jay will dump.
Jay
Yeah, I've done people.
Big Cat
Yeah, he's done well.
Eddie
No.
Brandon Walker
Would you be willing to dump the girls Connor's dating?
Big Cat
Yeah, yeah, she dumps.
Marshall
I'll take whatever help I could get from you guys. But I also know coming into this that that will be part of the show is me having to turn people away. So I'm ready for that as well. What? However we choose to do that, I'll be ready.
Connor Griffin
But what if only seven women apply?
Marshall
Then that would be a massive, massive shot to the ego.
Connor Griffin
Would you give those seven 100 or would. Would that just be in the back of your mind the whole time? You're like, I only got seven.
Marshall
Oh. You know, whoever, whoever applies this, we're gonna. To make sure that this is good and we're going to make sure Bumble is happy with it. And yeah, I'm excited to be a part of it.
Big Cat
So. Okay.
Marshall
Yeah, I don't want to turn anybody away. I don't want to. Long distance relations, severe deal breakers right now.
Connor Griffin
Yeah. What if there are women in Dallas that are watching that are like, I would love to start something, Connor.
Marshall
Yeah, I think that'd be fine.
Big Cat
What about short distance relationships? Like, the woman's like, the only way I'll date you is I have to.
Marshall
Move in right now into my studio apartment.
Eddie
Yeah, well, she likes bistros.
Titus
Yeah.
Marshall
I still have the. The free kisses. Just ask sign at the Beastro. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Big Cat
Trap any girls with that.
Marshall
Don't say trap. You guys say I'm a predator.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
No, no. Trap a few girls.
Kate
You know what? I think we'll get a lot of this time. Malisek. I say this with love, but, like, I'm not recommending my girlfriend girlfriends to try to date him. I think we're gonna get a lot of people watching who are like, I know a girl who I think would be great for him, I think we're gonna get a lot of, like, referrals.
Marshall
That's the goal. I agree.
Kate
This time.
Marshall
And I'll more of a wholesome guy.
Kyle
You are open to people from anywhere.
Marshall
Yeah, yeah.
Kyle
This guy that opens it up.
Marshall
I'm looking at you for the first time with these balloons.
Big Cat
Really?
Marshall
Yeah. You know, open anywhere. Open to anything. I'll. I'll get a haircut. I'll get dressed all spiffy.
Eddie
Whoa. And don't be afraid of picking two winners. Don't be afraid of coming out of this dating too.
Titus
Let's go.
Marshall
Lou will.
Brandon Walker
Lou will.
Marshall
Yeah.
Eddie
Don't be afraid. Don't limit your options here.
Marshall
Okay, well.
Eddie
Yeah, well, last question, because I was interested in your reaction to the tattoo thing. So where is the tattoo? A problem? So lower back tattoo, I assume is fine. Visible arm tattoo.
Marshall
You just don't want to see the back one.
Kate
He's.
Titus
Yeah, his lower back fine.
Eddie
That's so you. So all tattoos are a little iffy here.
Connor Griffin
Is it asleep? Is that.
Marshall
No, no. There have been, been. There have been some tattoos I've seen. I'm like, oh, that's the eagles logo.
Eddie
She's got a heart. She got a little heart on a heart tattoo.
Marshall
That's totally fine.
Eddie
Okay, but Cannon's face, then that would be an issue.
Kate
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
What about like, on her cleavage? Yeah, she got tats on her cleavage. Is that hot? Is that disgusting?
Kate
What about like a Rihanna bird under that?
Marshall
Put a pin in that. Put a. Yeah, that would take feel problem.
Connor Griffin
He's giving us nothing.
Big Cat
He's giving us. Cuz.
Marshall
I don't want to. I don't want to turn anybody away.
Eddie
We'll start working on Connor. The very nature of this is turning people away. Yeah, you have to eventually turn people away.
Marshall
After we get the applicants.
Eddie
No, no, no, no. When we. Before we did the m thing, we had. We had like little notes of.
Connor Griffin
But if you don't people's time. Like, if you notice you don't like women with tattoos, and then.
Big Cat
He'S going to tell us.
Marshall
Steel breakers. I got it. People just lie. I got a text before. They're saying, don't reveal deal breaker.
Eddie
On the questionnaire, though. Are we going to put tattoos why or in.
Big Cat
Yeah, I just have to do an arranged marriage.
Marshall
No, I don't. I don't dislike people with tattoos. I. I've dated.
Eddie
I'm just gonna get some tattoos. I'm getting a little pissed off now. You got to give us something.
Marshall
It'll be right if he Says his deal breaker is girls that go to bed after 10pm Then we ask what time to go to bed. Everybody's gonna say yes.
Jay
But we still know the goal is to not. Because the problem with the. The last one is we. We had too many applicants to sort through. We want to, based on this questionnaire, eliminate 90 of them.
Marshall
Yeah.
Jay
Because we're expecting a good deal.
Eddie
I don't know why him saying it now would. Would eliminate.
Jay
Because then people. They know the answers to the people.
Kate
Lie and say what he wants to hear.
Marshall
I. I apologize.
Eddie
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Which is fine. I think that's fine.
Eddie
Yeah, that's.
Connor Griffin
That's. That's. I lied to my wife for the first, like six. Six months we dated also. That's part of dating. Is lying turn off for you?
Jay
Huh?
Brandon Walker
Is lying a turn off?
Marshall
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Okay, so one of the deal breakers is lying.
Kyle
We'll ask if they lie.
Connor Griffin
That's. That's exactly what. That's what dating is. You go on a first date, you're like, I. Yeah, of course I have my. Together. I'm paid. Well, I, you know, never pooped out of my. I've never pooped out of my gym shorts. Would you like a second date with me? And that's. That's what you do. You lie.
Eddie
Whittle it down.
Marshall
All about honesty.
Big Cat
Okay.
Marshall
All about honesty. Yeah. Sorry, I can't give much.
Big Cat
No, you're good. You're good.
Marshall
I was told beforehand. Don't.
Eddie
It's all about honesty. You're not being honest.
Marshall
I haven't lied about anything. I just. I can't talk about it because we don't want to give anything away just yet. But hopefully people tune in. Hopefully they enjoy it and we'll make the most of it. It'll be very fun. Thank you guys for letting me do it. All right, you know, week after Valentine's Day.
Big Cat
Okay. Week after Valentine's Day.
Marshall
Perfect. Okay. Sounds good.
Big Cat
Love it.
Eddie
Hunter.
Marshall
Yeah?
Brandon Walker
What if you meet somebody before then?
Big Cat
Yeah. You got to make sure you.
Brandon Walker
We've already sold this.
Connor Griffin
I know.
Marshall
It's already been sold. It's already. I am.
Big Cat
And now that people can smell that you're not looking, you're going to get a lot worse.
Marshall
I am putting myself in a cage.
Brandon Walker
Are you going to vow off sex until after Valentine's? Until this dating show?
Marshall
I don't think it'll be that hard to vow off, but yeah.
Big Cat
Okay.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
I will not like Nikki Smoke, folks. Soft 60. That lasted.
Marshall
Yes. First.
Connor Griffin
You know, he already.
Big Cat
Wait, wait.
Kyle
He broke it via what?
Big Cat
Sex. He just did it so that he could tell everyone that he couldn't stop having sex.
Marshall
Yeah.
Big Cat
I said it would be no different if I was just like, you know what I'm not gonna do this year? I'm not gonna bench press £500. And like, four days later, I'm like, whoops, guys, I'm so strong, I bench pressed £500.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, maybe next year.
Big Cat
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man.
Marshall
You called him a. A phase guy.
Big Cat
He is. He's a little girl. He's a girl who one day wants to be a get a pony and the next day wants to be a ballerina. That's Nikki Smokes in a grown man's body.
Brandon Walker
That is true.
Jay
Yeah.
Big Cat
Daddy, I want this. I want no sex. Daddy, I want a sex. That's what he's doing.
Kyle
That would be a nightmare.
Big Cat
Daddy.
Eddie
All right.
Big Cat
Good job, Connor.
Marshall
Thanks, guys. Love you. Yeah, I'll be celibate.
Brandon Walker
This is gonna be so good.
Big Cat
It's gonna be so good, Brandon. We do the Pizza Hut read.
Eddie
Pizza Hut is the Pizza quarterbacks are asking for by name. So Pizza Hut is challenging quarterbacks to say pizza before Hut during a televised game. And if your quarterback says pizza before Hut, Pizza Hut will throw your city a pizza party. So tag your quarterback and use hashtag pizza before the Hut. But no need to wait for that to happen. Order the big New Yorker before the first Hut is yelled on game days. If it's Pizza Hut's biggest pizza for the biggest games, $10 for a limited time. Order your big New yorker@pizza hut.com or in the Pizza Hut app.
Big Cat
What did you send me, T.J. this video of Mincy?
Marshall
Yeah. Mincy thanked Big His. Oh, no, actually, no, he didn't. Somebody asked Ben on cameo to thank their friend Paul for letting them stay at their apartment.
Big Cat
Well, I got to see this.
Eddie
What's up, Paul? Spy with a message from your friend.
Big Cat
Ben who's rocking a great name. Well, I'm more than sure. Said he spent the weekend with you.
Eddie
And said he just wanted to say.
Big Cat
Thank you cuz he spent the night.
Eddie
Over your house and he had a great time and y' all turned it up and had a blast. And so I'm feeling some grateful vibes here from Paul.
Big Cat
And, hey, your name's Ben.
Titus
My name's Ben. It's the best name there is.
Big Cat
So there you go.
Titus
So thank you for being a good host to Paul.
Eddie
Hope y' all had a blast and.
Kyle
Cherish your friendship and let's get freaking hot in 2026.
Big Cat
Yeah. You got that backwards at the end.
Brandon Walker
He doesn't know Biz's name is Paul, right?
Big Cat
No way.
Jay
No way. Way.
Marshall
He also posted that shirt at like 2am last night.
Big Cat
Nice post.
Kyle
Posted what?
Titus
Get the night audience.
Kyle
Oh, the Dracula of philanthropy.
Big Cat
Perfect time.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Big Cat
Perfect time. All right, I think we got everything today.
Eddie
Y. Good show.
Big Cat
Great. I might have something for us to tomorrow.
Eddie
That'll be fun.
Connor Griffin
H.
Brandon Walker
Interesting.
Titus
Any hints?
Big Cat
Nope.
Jay
One hint.
Connor Griffin
What are the chances you bail on Friday high? Yeah, I. I can see the wheels turning over there. You're starting to realize this might not go the way you saw it going. Yeah.
Kyle
You looked at his whole Instagram, like, you know, both.
Jay
We're going to.
Big Cat
What you guys like. I know what I like, and it's that. Oh.
Kyle
Is he nervous?
Big Cat
No, he seems like he's confident in his. In what he's going to be bringing. So I think we're. Have a good shot. Have a good shot at this thing. This is gonna be awkward, man.
Brandon Walker
You gotta stop bringing Eddie. And he's doing you no favor.
Big Cat
Eddie's just. Eddie's not on team Big Cat so bad. It's crazy, man.
Titus
The Eddie's very anti hype, though, so it doesn't even matter how.
Kyle
He doesn't like any hype.
Big Cat
No, he's a. Yeah, it's the opposite of a hype beast.
Jay
Yeah.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Titus
So I think that's. That's the only reason why.
Big Cat
Yeah. All right, let's spin the wheel. Tga.
Eddie
Tga.
Big Cat
Tga. That guy Andrew. I noticed Lucas wasn't on the stream last night.
Brandon Walker
No, he wasn't.
Jay
Why?
Big Cat
I invited him because he doesn't want to. Doesn't want to run with the big dogs.
Brandon Walker
Was a good time.
Eddie
Time.
Big Cat
Yeah. Look like good time.
Brandon Walker
Hank turned off the tv.
Big Cat
I know. That was such a funny clip. It do it on purpose?
Brandon Walker
I think so.
Big Cat
Yeah, he probably did.
Brandon Walker
I think so.
Big Cat
Yeah. Jerry was very upset.
Brandon Walker
2026, man.
Big Cat
What's happening?
Connor Griffin
Oh, something happened.
Big Cat
Pancake. What do you. What the are you doing.
Brandon Walker
Liam?
Big Cat
What the are you pressing, bro? This thing fell in the room. Don't touch the remote. What the are you doing?
Eddie
He put Disney.
Big Cat
No, he's trolling. He's trolling. All right, we're back. The are you doing, bro? It's good to see Jerry. Have a little fire. Yeah, little piss and vinegar. Okay, let's spin the wheel.
Marshall
Is Tate doing hole in one stream tonight?
Big Cat
Yeah, I think so. With Trent and Lacy. Lacy?
Connor Griffin
They'll get it triple hole in one.
Big Cat
Wait. Oh, they won't.
Connor Griffin
It's three hole? I think so.
Big Cat
Sucks a golf.
Connor Griffin
I don't know where Lucas comes up with these ideas.
Big Cat
It's crazy.
Connor Griffin
Three holes in one.
Kyle
Three.
Big Cat
Wow. Yeah. Lucas or Tate's not good at golf. I think Trent and Lacy will get it because like on the simulator, it's just repetition. Getting it close.
Connor Griffin
Yeah.
Brandon Walker
Tate's girlfriend needs canonized.
Big Cat
Well, she is with every religion.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, you're right.
Big Cat
She immortalized in the New York Athletic Club.
Brandon Walker
Yeah, you're right.
Big Cat
Rest the time the Heisman as chef Donnie used his. Oh, oh. We got to ask him. Yeah, he better be. He better be, this guy. Oh.
Eddie
Damn.
Big Cat
All right, we'll see you for tomorrow. Time to talk shop is the act.
Marshall
Happy birthday to the late great Nick Mangold.
Big Cat
Love that guy.
Marshall
All right, love you guys. See you tomorrow.
Brandon Walker
Bye.
Date: January 13, 2026
Host & Panel: Barstool Sports (Big Cat, Brandon Walker, Kyle "KBNoSwag" Bauer, Nick, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Eddie, Connor Griffin, Titus, Marshall)
This episode of The Yak is signature Barstool chaos and comedy with a heavy focus on the announcement and early planning for their next big in-house dating show, featuring Connor Griffin as the upcoming contestant. While much of the banter is classic office-guy riffing, two main arcs emerge:
Along the way, the crew dives into sports media "rules," men’s fashion, food delivery disasters, hot guy debates, absurd bodily function stories, and the cyclical misery of being a Steelers fan.
On Sports Journalism & the Jaguars Viral Press Conference:
On the Dating Show and Preference Debacles:
On Wild Bathroom & Bodily Function Stories:
On Steelers Fandom:
Miscellaneous Standouts:
| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |------------|-------------------------------------------| | 04:43 | Food delivery scam, stock photo discussion | | 06:46 | Kate's robotic pizza delivery story | | 10:00–13:00| Jaguars press conference viral moment | | 24:44–34:00| Hot Guy Friday: the “Nick” attractiveness debate | | 50:00–56:06| Steelers, Mike Tomlin job, and NFL coach discussion | | 63:34–78:00| Steven Cheah’s expired lobster/shitting story | | 88:43–106:20| The Connor Griffin Dating Show details, rapid-fire questions | | 106:36–end | Wrap-up, final dating show planning, final bits |
This episode is quintessential Yak: noisy, joyous, off-the-wall, with constant diversions from serious to stupid, overlapped with genuinely funny insights about sports media, fandom, and group dynamics. If you’re not up to speed with Barstool’s internal characters, some in-jokes may fly past, but the headlines—clowning sports journalists, dropping plans for a new dating contest, and relentless debate about basic preferences—make for an engaging hour-plus of absurd entertainment.
For listeners: Get ready for the next big Barstool Yak dating show—applications coming soon for anyone who thinks they’re a fit for the affable but frustratingly noncommittal Connor Griffin.
End of Summary