The Yak — "Our Next Dating Show Contestant Has Been Announced"
Date: January 13, 2026
Host & Panel: Barstool Sports (Big Cat, Brandon Walker, Kyle "KBNoSwag" Bauer, Nick, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, Steven Cheah, Eddie, Connor Griffin, Titus, Marshall)
Episode Overview
This episode of The Yak is signature Barstool chaos and comedy with a heavy focus on the announcement and early planning for their next big in-house dating show, featuring Connor Griffin as the upcoming contestant. While much of the banter is classic office-guy riffing, two main arcs emerge:
- The breakdown and reaction to the viral Jaguars press conference "pep talk" moment and its ripple through the sports journalism world,
- The official unveiling of the upcoming dating contest with Connor as the bachelor, including live brainstorming and some laugh-out-loud debates about his preferences and dealbreakers.
Along the way, the crew dives into sports media "rules," men’s fashion, food delivery disasters, hot guy debates, absurd bodily function stories, and the cyclical misery of being a Steelers fan.
Key Segments & Discussion Points
1. Food Delivery Mishaps & Robotic Deliveries
- Brandon Walker kicks things off [04:43] with a tale of a failed salad delivery—he was duped by a delivery driver using a stock photo as "proof of delivery."
- "I was walking around outside with the security guard around the block looking for a white door…" — Brandon [04:43]
- The group riffs on delivery scams: switching between apps for new accounts, the futility of chasing small tips, and feeling "got" when online scams work.
- Kate relays an experience with a food delivery robot: "I watched as it took a hour to go half a mile. And then pizza was cold and floppy." [06:46]
2. The Jaguars Pep Talk Press Conference: Sports Journalist Meltdown
- The group erupts in debate over a viral Jacksonville Jaguars press conference, where reporter Lynn Jones started with a heartfelt pep talk to the coach instead of a hard-hitting question [10:00].
- Connor: “The reason I hate these scoops guys so much is because I just hate any sports journalist that believes what they do is important...” [10:25]
- Big Cat: “Anyone that's covering sports who thinks, 'I do very, very important work'…you deserve to be clowned.” [10:26]
- They read and lampoon outraged tweets from “Big J” journalists, especially a verbose analogy about professionalism and suits [12:42].
- Kate proposes a more human touch: "I just like to see a little humanity. There’s people dying, Kim, okay?" [18:52]
- Spirited defense and mocking of sportswriters who take their job too seriously—especially their "codes" and "professional norms."
- Connor: “Who wrote the rules, by the way, on sports journalism?...These are the rules, god dammit!” [16:15]
3. Pittsburgh Steelers Fan Cycle & Mike Tomlin News
- Brandon and Big Cat discuss the never-ending cycle of Steelers fandom and Mike Tomlin’s fate as head coach amidst rumors of his departure. [50:00+]
- Big Cat: "It's always the same. It doesn't matter who's on the team." [50:36]
- When the news breaks that Tomlin is reportedly stepping down, the crew reacts live [66:11+], debating job desirability and comparing the Steelers’ coaching longevity to Papal succession.
4. The “Hot Guy Friday” Debate—Who’s the Hottest Nick?
- Hyping "Hot Guy Friday" where Big Cat will bring in his “male crush,” Nick—sparks comparison wars about office hotties [24:44 – 34:00]:
- Big Cat: “I showed my wife him, and she was not blown away…” [25:00]
- Eddie doubts Nick’s hotness, claiming “he’s not even the hottest with that name in this office,” leading to a parade of Nicks and a feisty debate on male attractiveness.
- “Let me ask just a simple question… do you have a six-pack? Oh. Because my guy does.” — Big Cat [30:09]
5. Absurd Story Time: “The Expired Lobster Incident”
- Steven Cheah retells his infamous “expired lobster” story—with the group grilling him for plausibility [63:34 – 78:00]. Did he really drop a “solid log” while playing basketball, unnoticed?
- “If KB told me he was abducted by aliens, I’d have fewer questions.” —Connor Griffin [76:34]
- Group refers to the story as "the JFK assassination" for the absurd detail analysis it receives.
- Jay: “Why would I lie about pooping my pants?” [64:10]
6. Announcing the Connor Griffin Dating Show
- Bumble is sponsoring the next house dating show, with Connor Griffin as the eligible bachelor [88:43+].
- The panel covers everything from dealbreakers (ugly, bad hygiene, family issues), willingness to date outside Chicago, thoughts on tattoos ("I struggle with tattoos. Not trying to figure out my thoughts..."), and rapid-fire questions on age, body type, interests, and whether he'd date a Cowboys fan.
- Kate offers to “sprinkle in one predator” to keep things interesting. [89:43]
- “You can't think of a turnoff?” –Connor Griffin is put on the spot about his preferences and gives little away, leading to much group frustration and teasing. [99:52]
- Theoretical discussion about having to break hearts on camera and whether Steven Cheah would do the ‘dumping’ for him.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
On Sports Journalism & the Jaguars Viral Press Conference:
- “Anybody that's covering sports that is like, I do very, very important work. You're a bozo and you deserve to be clowned.” —Connor Griffin [10:25]
- “Full stop is one of those trigger words… Or full stop, and also, 'I don't know who needs to hear this.' Or the clapping emojis for period.” —Big Cat [13:37]
- “This should be standard practice in the NFL. Every playoff loss should open with the losing coach getting a pep talk.” —Connor Griffin [12:23]
- “I think we need to do a better job in society today because everyone’s online…every now and then just be like, 'I don’t care.'” —Big Cat [11:26]
On the Dating Show and Preference Debacles:
- "One is like, ugly. Like, ugly..." —Connor Griffin on dealbreakers [89:19]
- "I want to see how you ejaculate... Well, you said you're open to everything." —Big Cat (teasing Connor on his stated open-mindedness) [97:12]
- "Would you date someone that's 21?" —Big Cat [95:12]
"Yeah, for the sake...yeah. Just to see where it goes. Sure." —Connor - "Are you interested in guys?" —Big Cat
"No." —Marshall [93:00] - "If you notice you don't like women with tattoos..." —Eddie
"I don't dislike people with tattoos. I've dated…" —Connor
(Group: endless frustration as Connor gives only vague, diplomatic answers) [105:02]
On Wild Bathroom & Bodily Function Stories:
- “Why would I lie about pooping my pants?” —Jay [64:10]
- Connor on the plausibility: "If KB told me he was abducted by aliens, I'd have fewer questions." [76:34]
- “The angrier you get, the more of a lie it seems.” —Eddie [79:42]
On Steelers Fandom:
- “It's the same every time. It doesn't matter who's on the team.” —Big Cat [50:34]
- “That’s a crazy, crazy stat…the Steelers are now looking for a new head coach for the third time since 1969.” —Big Cat [70:02]
Miscellaneous Standouts:
- "Let me ask just a simple question...do you have a six-pack?" —Big Cat evaluating office hotness [30:09]
- “There have been more Popes than Steelers head coaches since 19…” —Connor (on the rarity of Steelers coaching changes) [69:27]
- “Coaches as desserts: Tomlin is a chips ahoy cookie." —Big Cat & crew [52:11]
Timestamps for Important Segments
| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |------------|-------------------------------------------| | 04:43 | Food delivery scam, stock photo discussion | | 06:46 | Kate's robotic pizza delivery story | | 10:00–13:00| Jaguars press conference viral moment | | 24:44–34:00| Hot Guy Friday: the “Nick” attractiveness debate | | 50:00–56:06| Steelers, Mike Tomlin job, and NFL coach discussion | | 63:34–78:00| Steven Cheah’s expired lobster/shitting story | | 88:43–106:20| The Connor Griffin Dating Show details, rapid-fire questions | | 106:36–end | Wrap-up, final dating show planning, final bits |
Episode Tone & Takeaway
This episode is quintessential Yak: noisy, joyous, off-the-wall, with constant diversions from serious to stupid, overlapped with genuinely funny insights about sports media, fandom, and group dynamics. If you’re not up to speed with Barstool’s internal characters, some in-jokes may fly past, but the headlines—clowning sports journalists, dropping plans for a new dating contest, and relentless debate about basic preferences—make for an engaging hour-plus of absurd entertainment.
For listeners: Get ready for the next big Barstool Yak dating show—applications coming soon for anyone who thinks they’re a fit for the affable but frustratingly noncommittal Connor Griffin.
End of Summary